


Reconditioned

by Lionhearted_DragonEmpress



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Action, Adventure, Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Analingus, Arguing, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bath Sex, Begging, Bendemption, Biting, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Bodyguard, Boundaries, Breast Fucking, But Also Not Canon Compliant, Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Choking, Cunnilingus, Daddy Kink, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Desk Sex, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, Elevator Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Face Slapping, Feelings, Female Friendship, First Time Blow Jobs, Floor Sex, Food Sex, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Choking (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Force Healing (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, Hair-pulling, High Stakes Sabacc, Hurt/Comfort, I'm not lying there will be a happy ending, Inappropriate Use of the Force, It could be a painful journey, Jealousy, Just Bear With Me, Kylo Ren needs words of affirmation, Lactation Kink, Light Angst, Light Bondage, Loss of Virginity, Makeup Sex, Marathon Sex, Masturbation, Mirror Sex, Morning Sex, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Masturbation, Non-sexual Violence, One-Sided Attraction, Oral Sex, Orgy, Outdoor Sex, Past Abuse, Peeping, Power Play, Praise Kink, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Punishment, Reader is an overthinker, Rim job, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sexual Harassment, Shower Sex, Smut, Soap, Some Plot, Space Opera, Spaceship Sex, Spanking, Stormtrooper, Teasing, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Virgin Kylo Ren, foot job, literal ass kissing, more plot than intended, opposite of slow burn, virgin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:14:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 142
Words: 493,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lionhearted_DragonEmpress/pseuds/Lionhearted_DragonEmpress
Summary: “I will do the reconditioning myself.”The words make your eyes widen. He would personally recondition you? What does that mean?“I will make sure you never disobey me or the First Order’s rules again.”You swallow hard at the statement but nod in agreement to his decision.“Anything you command I will do, sir.”  You promise.“Anything?”-You are a stormtrooper at Starkiller Base and thanks to a few mistakes you've gotten the attention of Kylo Ren who must make sure you are properly reconditioned. All for the good of the First Order, of course.THIS STORY IS NOW COMPLETE!!!
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/You, Dopheld Mitaka/Reader, Finn (Star Wars)/You, Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You, Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Original Female Character(s), Poe Dameron/Reader
Comments: 1134
Kudos: 1739





	1. Two Infractions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I've always been a fan of Star Wars and since 2015 I've been an even bigger fan of Kylo Ren. This is my first Star Wars fic and first reader insert fic. Unlike traditional reader insert, you are referred to by your stormtrooper number which is FN-1971 (at least for now). I hope you enjoy this fic! Feel free to let me know what you think! :)

Chapter 1

You powerwalk the halls of Starkiller Base with blaster in hand as expected of a stormtrooper. You have long since left your usual walking partner FN-3181 in search of your friend. Beneath your helmet you grin knowing what you have tucked beneath your torso plate. How lucky were you to snag this little surprise on Coruscant this morning?   
In the distance you see FN-2187 and FN-3761. Eight-Seven mops diligently as Six-One holds the bucket of cleaning solution. You almost skip as you call out to Eight-Seven. He looks up from his work as Six-One turns his attention to you too.

“FN-1971,” They address you by your designated title. 

“FN-3761, you look to be running low on your supply. You should go get more. I will stand with FN-2187,” You nod to the half empty bucket. 

“Uh…okay,” Six-One takes the bucket with him as he heads down the hall towards a utility closet. Alone with Eight-Seven, you lower your blaster and come close. He keeps mopping. 

“Eight-Seven, guess what,” You try to hide the excitement in your voice. 

“What?” He does not stop his work. 

“I just got back from Coruscant this morning,” You remind him. 

“Yes. And?”

“Well…while I was there, I saw something that made me think of you.”

“Oh yeah? What?” He stops and looks toward you. 

“Yeah. I found…” You put your hand into torso plate and slip out the paper pages hidden there. You hear Eight-Seven gasp in his helmet. He drops his mop to grab the booklet from your hands. 

“A new Kade Genti comic!”

“Shh. You know this is contraband so don’t yell about it,” You snatch back the book. 

“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. But how did you get this and on board without anyone knowing?”

“A smuggler never reveals her secrets.”

“When can I read it?”

“Tonight. Meet me by the trash compactor.”

“Sounds good. Oh, Six-One is coming back,” Eight-Seven whispers. Quickly, you begin to tuck the booklet back into your armor. Eight-Seven picks up his mop and resumes mopping. Six-One puts the full bucket down next to Eight-Seven. 

“I will go now. See you around,” You turn to leave the cleaning duo. You barely get five feet from the other troopers when you hear profound footsteps. You look back and see your Captain Phasma approaching. By her is the one you dread the most. 

Tall, dark, and imposing is Kylo Ren. You had seen him at a distance many times or in passing. But the last time you saw him was purely accidental and has left you with dread ever since.

Somehow FN-2198 and FN-3156 got their hands on some Merenzane Gold. They snuck it into the dining cafeteria in covered bottles. They passed some to each of the FN Corps. At first taste you could not understand why someone would spend so much money on the beverage but you kept drinking as it would be rude not to after all the trouble they went through. You finished your bottled only to find your body over-heating, your words slurring and your balance being off. To help with the heat you began to remove your helmet. You would have taken off your armor in front all but Eight-Seven stopped you, much to your annoyance at the time. You got up and began to search for your room not caring that you left your blaster and helmet behind. In your compromised state your room proved to be harder to find than water on Pasaana. 

Your head grew heavier and heavier as did your eyelids as you walked. You relied on your hands to find your way by feeling the walls. Something soft replaced the wall. You patted at it and then squeezed. You opened your eyes unsure of what was in your way.

You nearly shat your uniform seeing your hands still groping the chest of none other than Kylo Ren. He stood silent but you know better than to think that meant he was not bothered by your actions. You pulled away from him and immediately feel to your knees. With palms and forehead pressed against the floor, you were prepared to beg for mercy. 

“I’m sorry, Sir. I had too much to drink and I couldn’t find my way to my room and-”

“Not finding your room is excuse enough to fondle me?” His modulated question made your cheeks burn. 

“No, sir! I’m so sorry. Please, have mercy.” 

“Get up.”

You obeyed wobbling slightly. You kept your eyes lowered in respect and fear. 

“Look at me.”

You complied but your hands began to shake. You balled them in hopes of squelching the trembling. He grabbed your face in one of his large, gloved hands. He turned your face side to side.

“If I see you again with any infraction, I will punish you personally.”

Ren released your face and walked away. You watched him wide eyed. That nearly sobered you up. You staggered away and finally found your room. You went to bed dreading another interaction with him.

Now, you see Eight-Seven and Six-One stop their work as their leaders approach. You nearly laugh seeing Eight-Seven salute Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma with his mop. But you bite your lip to silence yourself. Kylo Ren keeps walking as Captain Phasma stops to talk with your other FN Corps members.

With Kylo Ren coming, you freeze and go against the wall. You lower your blaster to your side and raise your hand to salute him. He pauses in front of you. 

“I see you are in proper uniform today,” he notes. You blush beneath your helmet. He had not forgotten your last meeting. 

“Yes, sir.”

Kylo Ren keeps facing you. He looms over you as if you were a nine-inch Anzellan and he a enormous Wampa. You control your nerves so you do not shake. There is no way he can find any infraction with you. 

“What is that?” He point toward your torso plate. You glance down. You see the corner of your comic book peaking out barely at the top. You swallow hard realizing your mistake. 

“Just my armor, sir,” You answer hoping he did not notice the paper. 

“No, this.” His hand grabs the book’s edge and rips it out of your clothes. He holds it up to his face. You grit your teeth. Your stomach churns. 

“Is a Kade Genti comic a new part of a Storm Trooper’s uniform or equipment?” You know he knows the answer.

“No, sir.”

“So, this is an infraction.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Come with me then for your punishment, FN-1971.”

Kylo turns his cape whooshing with the swift movement. You follow him with a little distance behind him. Your mind contemplates the horrid things the masked man could do. You have seen what sort of state he has left rooms after a tantrum. Would you be sliced up by his crackling lightsaber? You know you should fear nothing. Stormtroopers are to fear nothing. They live and die for the sake of the First Order. If you die at Kylo Ren’s hands then he has relieved the First Order of your weakness. You must accept this.

Still, you want to live. Your life is not exciting and vibrant like the ones you have read about in comic books or seen in passing when you are made to monitor planets. But it is still your life. There are still things you want to do. You want to travel to planets no one has gone to before, find out what happened to Kade Genti, and attend the festival of lights on Naboo that you heard about from Slip. Maybe you could meet someone. Some troopers have before like JT-5892 did during his time on Corellia. How wonderful would it be to have someone to love and call you by your true name. Not that you even know what it is since you were put into the order as an infant. Still any name other than FN-1971 would be welcomed. 

You should not think of love though. Love, marriage, and family are not meant for stormtroopers like you. JT-5892 was a rare case. All you can hope for is comradery with others. If you’re really lucky, you could have a clandestine affair with another Corps member like FN-1226 and FN-0878 had. They got sent back to reconditioning after they were discovered though. Still, at least they won’t die virgins like you probably will.

Kylo Ren stops for a door to open. You follow him in and find a small conference room with no windows but a large table and numerous chairs. Once in, the door closes. Your superior turns to look at you.

“Take off your helmet.”

“Yes, sir.”

You place your blaster on the table then pull off your helmet to hold by your side. He does not move or speak and so you do not. 

“The First Order does not tolerate weakness in our ranks. Your disorderly actions the other night and your smuggling of contraband are grounds for reconditioning if not termination,” He walks close to you. Your eyes stay on his chest not his helmet. His hand grabs her chin and makes you look at where his face should be.

“I sense your fear for both options.”

“If I have proven unworthy of my life, take it, sir. If you think reconditioning will lead me to better serve you and the First Order, then send me, sir. Whatever you decide I will do without hesitation.” You know what is expected of you to say. You try not show any more fear.

“Get on your knees.”

You lower yourself to the floor. You put your helmet on the ground next to you while Ren steps to you. You almost jump hearing his lightsaber turn on. You keep your eyes lowered. 

He is going to kill you. Alone, unloved, and untouched you must accept this fate. You said you would. You were trained for this. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. 

The crackle and roar of the red weapon subsides. You look up to see him putting it away. Did he change his mind?

“I will not take your life today.”

Relief washes over you. 

“Thank you, sir. Shall I prepare my things to return to reconditioning?”

“No.” He doesn’t miss a beat. 

“Oh.”

“I will do the reconditioning myself.”

The words make your eyes widen. He would personally recondition you? What does that mean?

“I will make sure you never disobey me or the First Order’s rules again.” 

You swallow hard at the statement but nod in agreement to his decision.

“Anything you command I will do, sir.” You promise.

“Anything?” despite the almost robotic sound of his voice you pick up the faint interest in it.

“Yes, sir.”

“Stand up.”

You comply easily.

“Now, strip."

“What?” You raise your eyebrows. 

“I said strip.”

“I have already removed my helmet, sir.” You point to the discarded item.

“Yes, I know. Now remove _everything_ else.”

“Um…sir, isn’t that…inappropriate?”

“You said you’d do anything I commanded. Didn’t you?”

“Yes, sir, but-”

“Obey me at once! You must be punished before we can proceed with any training toward bettering yourself.”

You bite your tongue but do as bid. Quickly you remove your outer armor then take off your boots. You go to remove your protective black mesh when you realize Kylo had not looked away once. Your skin burns as you will have to show him everything.

You unzip the black mesh cover your upper half. You look away from the man watching as you expose your breasts to the cold air of the room. You almost curse at the moment your nipples harden in the air. Your arm goes up to cover your breasts but they spill over it. Your other hand pulls down your pants leaving you only in your standard issue white underwear. Your finger hooks into it prepared to the last object of your modesty. You look to him to see if he will spare you this but he nods his head. You squat down in hopes of hiding more of your body as your remove standard issue white panties. You straighten back up with your hand over your lower region. 

“Go to the table and bend over,” He points. You carefully walk to the edge of the table. You lay your breast on the table as your bend over it. Your hands fly to cover what is now exposed in the back. 

“Move your hands away.” The order comes and you force your hands to move. You put them up so you can rest on your forearms as well as your breasts. Your heartbeat is in your ears and adrenaline is in your veins. What is he going to do?

You look over your shoulder and see him rolling up your comic book. He points and you know he means for you to look forward not back at him. 

“I am going to punish you now.”

“Ah!” You shout out in surprise feeling a hard smack on your left cheek. Another surprised gasp comes out as another hit comes to your right one. 

He’s spanking me? You register as your backside is dealt a few more hits from the rolled booklet. It doesn’t hurt much as training has prepared you for much worse. He pauses then tosses the comic next to you. Before the comic can even unroll to regain its flat shape, you yelp out in true pain as a leather gloved hand slaps you.

“Does that hurt?” He asks. 

“Yes, sir.” You nod. 

“Good.”

You cry out as you are dealt ten stinging blows. Tears start to form in your eyes. You are sure there will be handprints left. How will you be able to sit?

“Are you going to get drunk and grope your superior again?” He asks.

“No, sir.” 

He gives two slaps.

“Are you going to smuggle contraband again?”

“No, sir.”

Two more slaps are given. He rubs your sore bum though the texture of his gloves are not soft enough to placate much of the pain. His hand moves south from your rear to your sex. 

“Look at this….”

You look over your shoulder to see him kneeling down. His mask is mere meters away from your intimate area. You shudder feeling the leather trace your slit all the way to your clit. He admires the wetness that has formed there during the spanking. 

“How shameful. You’re getting off on your punishment.”

“No, sir!” You deny. 

“You’re body seems to say something else.” He slides his middle finger back and forth on the slit before pushing it inside. You wince at the intrusion. He swirls his finger around inside as his thumb goes to play with your bean. You look forward again and ball your hands into fist as another finger is added inside. 

It becomes harder to breathe as he slips his two fingers in and out of you. Noises begin to escape your mouth. You try to cover your mouth so he won’t hear. Warmth begins to grow in your pelvis. How could this invasion feel so...good?

“You like this don’t you?” He speaks again.

“N-no, sir.” You shake your head.

“Really?” He stops all ministrations. 

“I-I meant yes, sir. I do,” You change your answer. 

“You should know better than to lie to me,” He stands up.

“I’m sorry, sir. I just…” You can’t think of an excuse. All you know is that you did not want him to stop.

“Do you want me to continue?” He asks.

“Yes, sir!” 

Three fingers go in making you jump. He grabs your hip as he pushes the three digits in and out of you. His thumb stretches to your eager nub. Your hands cannot cover your mouth anymore as you grasp for the side edges of the table to hold onto. Something is growing inside with each push and tweak. 

  
Ren lets go of your hip. You hear some rustling then feel something warm and hard against your bottom. You dare to take a peak. There in his hands is his enormous member. He strokes it as he keeps fingering you. Although he is not gentle with you, he is gentle with himself. He moves his hand up and down his shaft slowly and plays with his head. You see something dripping from it. 

Will he put that in me? I can barely handle these fingers. You look forward again. 

“You like being finger fucked, don’t you?”

“Yes, sir.” You squeak out.

“You like being punished by me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You want to cum?” The thing building inside is given a name by one bringing the pleasure. 

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you want to cum?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Do you want me to make you cum?”

“Yes, sir!”

Ren pushes his fingers even deeper and presses the tip of his cock against clit. The rubbing from the foreign appendage only increases your pleasure. You scream out at your release. Bliss comes over you. You lay limp on the table trying to catch your breath. He removes his fingers from you. You look back at him. He still rubs himself. You can hear his breath uneven behind his helmet. He brings his erect cock to your sopping folds. He rubs himself against the outside of you lower lips and between your sore cheeks as he grips your hips with both of his hands. The friction feels good but before you can allow yourself to enjoy it, you hear him grunt. He steps back from you. Something warm splatters over your thighs, vagina, and arse. He breathes heavily for a minute. You stay still.

“Get up and dressed.” He caught his breath. 

“Yes, sir.”

Despite the mess all of your lower half, you pull on your panties then your pants and top. You replace your boots and armor. You go to grab your blaster then your helmet. You see he has hidden his member back into his clothes as well. 

“I will check on you and see if you regress despite this punishment. If so, I will have to do worse to you,” he warns.

“I understand, sir. I will not forget my punishment. I will be on my best behavior and be the best stormtrooper I can be.” 

But maybe I wouldn’t mind worse. You think smirking to yourself. You look at the Kade Genti comic book on the table.

“I expect it to be thrown in the trash,” Kylo nods to the comic book.

“Yes, sir.”

He says nothing more but leaves the room. You reach your hand out for the distant comic book.

Come. You think and it makes it to your hand. You walk toward the trash can in the room. You hold the book out over the hole.

"He won't know if I keep it," You tell yourself. You tuck it away but make sure it is tucked more securely. You leave the room not sure if you should wash your body or find ice for your sore bum first. Either way both will only make you think more of Kylo Ren’s reconditioning process. 


	2. A Mouth Full of Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you are all happy and healthy out there! Here is chapter 2. I hope you all will enjoy and let me know what you think!

Chapter 2

“There you are!” FN-3181 finds you walking in the hall. You groan at your approaching partner. Now you can have no freedom to get ice or to wash off what Kylo Ren left on you. 

“You should not have left me,” He comes to your side. You keep walking. 

“I thought you were right behind me, Eight-One,” You refer to him by his nickname as you lie. 

“Likely story. I bet you were trying to find Eight-Seven.” 

“So, what if I was? It shouldn’t matter to you. We are off duty now. You don’t have to be my keeper.”

“Well….You are still my partner. We should stick together at all times so I can protect you,” He huffs. 

You roll your eyes and stop. He stops as well. Your hand that does not hold your blaster curls into a fist. You resist the urge to punch him and run off. You should have never let him kiss you. Yes, you were both teenagers curious about the opposite sex and you wanted to know what it was liked to be kissed. But why did you let it be Eight-One? Ever since then he acts like you are his. It got so much worse when you were assigned partners. Now he never leaves you alone. 

“I don’t know if you’ve realized this, Eight-One, but I have been trained in combat and self-defense just as you were. In fact, didn’t I score higher in all fields of training?” You remind him. He doesn’t speak. You assume he is getting red-faced beneath his helmet. 

“I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.” You start walking again. He grabs your arm to stop you. 

“Why are you acting so cold to me?” he asks. You pull your arm out of his grasp.

“I need some space, Eight-One. I’ve spent the last three days with you without a break. I need a shower and some space.”

“Oh. I could use a shower too,” He observes. 

“Okay. So, you go take your shower and I’ll go take mine.”

“Then we can meet and go eat our dinner rations,” He decides. 

“Fine.” You walk. He stays close till you reach the female stormtrooper dormitories. He finally leaves you. 

In the closet you call a room you grab your extra uniform and a fresh pair of panties. You lay your blaster on your bed only for it to be followed by your helmet, comic book and soiled clothes. Your pants and underwear are harder to pull off as they stick to you. Looking at your underwear you frown seeing the fluids there as well as some blood.

He did put them up pretty far. You recall as does your sore sex.

You shove your underwear and black mesh into your hamper before hiding your comic beneath your mattress. You cover yourself with a robe and exit your dorm with your clean clothes in hand. You speed to the communal shower. You pick the stall at the back of room for the most privacy.

On. You flick your hand toward the shower’s handles. Hot water begins to pour out behind the curtain. You hang up your robe on the hook in your small dressing area. You put your folded clothes on the bench where a stack of folded towels sit. You turn to the mirror that has yet to be fogged up. Turning your back to the mirror then twisting you can see the red handprints cover your derriere. You see fluid all over it as well. You know it isn’t just Kylo Ren’s.

“Do you want me to make you cum?” His words come to your mind. You can almost feel his fingers in you again. You flush at how you cried out that you did. You shake your head in hopes of shaking the memory away. 

Stepping into the water you allow yourself the joy of simply soaking. The outpour relaxes your tightened muscles. Had you not worked tirelessly on braiding your hair up into a crown around your head this morning, you would have let the water go higher than your neck. You do stick your face into the stream just to rinse off the sweat there. 

You pump some soap from the dispenser there. You lather yourself up paying extra care to your backside and thighs. Removing the showerhead from above you, you gently wash the suds off. Seeing the bubbles draining along with the cum and little blood, you relax. You spread your legs and let the water rinse you there just to make sure nothing is left. You spread your lips and let the water go deeper. As it splashes against your clit you bring the showerhead closer. It feels almost as good as when Kylo Ren pressed his thumb there. It definitely did not feel as good as when he pressed the tip of his cock there. 

Could you bring yourself as much pleasure as he did? You let your free hands slide down to where he had dared to touch. Cautiously, you rub before inserting one finger. 

It’s not the same. You find your finger so small in comparison to Kylo Ren’s. You slip a second one in hopes of giving something comparable to Kylo Ren’s. You close your eyes. Your fingers are no long yours but Kylo Ren’s. His fingers explore your quim but gently this time. Your breath becomes unsteady the more his fingers play in your folds. You feel the pressure and warmth building in you again. 

“Sir…” You moan out. You try to make his fingers go deeper. You want them as deep as they had been. You bring the showerhead right against your nub. 

“You really do like getting finger fucked.” 

You drop the showerhead and open your eyes. Panic sets in. Who is watching you?

“Who is there?” You call out. There is no reply. You open the curtain and grab a towel to cover yourself. You look out of your dressing room. You see no one. 

“Hello?” You begin walking down the row of shower stalls. All are open and not a soul resides in them. 

“I must have imagined it,” You shake your head and walk back to your stall. You pick up the showerhead and look at it. You look at the fingers that are no longer his but just your own again. You wash them off and hang up the showerhead. You couldn’t finish now. 

It does not take long to dry off and dress. You return to your dorm to put on your armor pieces before you can go eat. You don’t forget the Kade Genti comic. 

“Over here!” Eight-One waves at you when you enter the cafeteria with your rations on your tray. Sighing beneath your helmet, you go to the eager young man. His helmet is off revealing his blond hair, crooked nose, and pouty lips that are spread into a smile. Slip, Zeroes and Nines sit with him as well. At least there will be some decent company. 

“So, I shot them all!” Sixes speaks with mouth full not caring that most of his food was spraying over his tray and the rest of the table. You sit next to Slip across from Eight-One and remove your helmet. You grit your teeth at the pain that comes from sitting on hard bench. 

“Gray goop again,” Slip names the rations you both have on your trays. 

“Starkiller base’s specialty,” You bring a spoonful to your mouth. 

“You should have brought at least one of the resistance members here for questioning instead of shooting them,” Nines scolds Eight-One.

“They would not have talked. You know them. They’d rather die than betray their precious resistance,” Eight-One justifies his actions. You remember a much different scenario. 

“I’ll tell you anything you want. Please, just let my family go,” the man begged on his knees before you. You had opened your mouth to acquiesce to his plea. You only needed one to give the information you required. 

“You will only tell us lies,” Eight-One decided. He opened fire on the family of three. 

“Eight-One! No!” You went to push his blaster away but it was too late. They were all dead. You didn’t cry. You didn’t know them and they were against the First Order. Still, your heart was saddened by the pointless killing. You refused to talk to Eight-One till you had to return to the ship that brought you two back to Starkiller Base. 

“Did you hear what happened to Eight-Seven?” Nines changes the topic. 

“No. What?” You lean in curious. What could have happened in the last hour since you saw him?

“He and Six-One have been assigned clean out those bat infested tunnels with some of the newer troopers,” Nines relays the news. 

“Poor bastards,” Zeroes shakes his head. 

“Does Eight-Seven start tomorrow or tonight?” You ask thinking solely of your meeting tonight.

“He should be leaving tomorrow,” Nines shook his head. 

Good. Then we can still meet tonight. You are satisfied.

“Why are you so curious?” Eight-One crinkles his forehead. 

“Planned a date with him tonight?” Nines teases. Eight-One tightens his grip on his spoon.

“Of course not,” You shake your head. Eight-One relaxes his grip.

“Oh, right. You would never betray your _beloved_ Officer Mitaka,” Nines smirks and Eight-One goes red in the face. You make one comment to KC-1886 that you thought Officer Dolphed Mitaka was attractive and now every stormtrooper thinks you are not so secretly in love with him or some nonsense. 

“Very funny, Nines. But we both know my loyalty is only to the First Order and no one else including Officer Mitaka and Eight-Seven.” 

“Yeah. Yeah. You’re the perfect trooper,” Nines sighs displeased with your lack of a reaction. 

“I know. So, what did you all do today?” You change the topic so they will talk and you can eat the bland sludge on your tray. The three other troopers describe their patrol duty which is just about as exciting as watching paint dry. You nod and make sure to pretend that you are listening as you scoop your food into your mouth. 

“But it was a bit weird when we were making our rounds. We heard some moaning from one of those side conference rooms about an hour ago just before the end of our patrol,” Slip relays the observation. You choke on your rations. 

“Are you okay?” Slip asks as everyone looks at you. You slam your fist on the table as you forcibly swallow the food. You drink some of your drink to push down any excess in your throat before you breathe. 

“I’m fine,” You wave them off. 

“Okay…but yeah, I think some officers were fucking in there,” Zeroes gives his opinion. 

Oh, maker. They heard us. Your cheeks burn. 

“Are you sure, you’re okay?” Eight-One looks at you. 

“I’m fine. I just need to go lie down,” You stand up.

“I’ll walk you,” He offers. 

“No. Stay. Enjoy your time. I’m just going to bed.” You put your helmet on and grab your tray. You dump what is left on your tray before taking the plastic platter to be cleaned by a droid. You leave the cafeteria. Instead of going to the dorms like you said, you scurry to the door where the main trash compactor is. You are very early but you don’t care. You didn’t want to spend anymore time with Eight-One or hear those bucketheads talk about hearing you getting fingered by Kylo Ren. You lean against the wall and wait. 

“Seven-One,” You hear your nickname. You see Eight-Seven approaching alone. You take off your helmet and show him a smile. He takes off his helmet letting you see his sweet young face. 

“Do you have it?” He asks. You reach into your armor and grin showing it to him. You both put down your helmets on the floor. You huddle close together so you can open and read it together. Kade Genti has gotten himself into trouble again but you know he will charm or shoot his way out of it. You glance over to Eight-Seven. His dark eyes are lit up in obvious excitement. He reads with a toothy grin. Your heart warms at the sight. 

He’s still so much like a kid. You note. 

“Oh no!” Eight-Seven brings your attention back to the page. You grimace seeing Kade Genti and the beautiful Princess Meia be betrayed by their friend and brought before the evil Marth. Turning the page you and Eight-Seven gasp as Kade Genti barely has time to kiss Princess Meia before being frozen in Carbonite and shipped off to his old nemesis Guppa the Hutt. You move to turn the page but find only the back cover. 

“That can’t be the end! He always gets away!” You remark seeing no page after. 

“And what about Princess Meia? She is left with Marth!” Eight-Seven is just as horrified. You look close to the back. 

“Find out what happens next in the next two final issues?” You read the add.

“There are two more issues?” 

“Apparently. But I don’t know when or if I’ll ever find the final issues,” You frown. 

“Man. This is-just-ugh. I can’t even form a full thought on this. My mind is just…wow.” Eight-Seven walks back and forth between walls not able to handle the cliffhanger. 

“If he and Princess Meia don’t reunite and defeat Marth and Guppa the Hutt I will be furious.”

“You have to find those final two volumes. You must!” Eight-Seven grabs you by the shoulders. 

“I was lucky to even find this one.”

“Promise me you’ll look. It’ll give me something to look forward to while I’m doing tunnel cleaning,” He takes your hands in his making you drop the comic. 

“Okay. I promise I’ll try,” You nod. He smiles pleased with the promise. 

“I better get going now. I have to get up early,” Eight-Seven bends down to grab his helmet. You grab yours and reach for the comic. Eight-Seven reaches at the same time. Your hands touch briefly but you grab the comic first. 

“Do you want to take it with you?” You offer him the comic. He shakes his head. 

“I don’t think Captain Phasma would like me to be distracted.” He puts on his helmet. 

“Okay. I’ll put it with the rest of my collection,” you put your helmet over your head. You shove the comic away. You put your hand on his shoulder pad. 

“Be careful, Eight-Seven.”

“You too.” He puts his hand on your shoulder pad. Separating, you walk down opposite sides of the hall. Even though your path is the long way about to your dorm you don’t mind the walk. It gives you time to think of a way that Kade can escape and reunite with Princess Meia. 

Looking around and finding yourself alone you pull the comic one more time. You look at the final pages at Princess Meia’s hair. She always has the styles you try to copy. Well, the styles that can be covered by your helmet. Her hair looks amazing in a bun and two braids coming down from it. But that won’t fit under your helmet. 

Hearing a door opening ahead of you, you shove the comic behind you. Out of the door emerges General Hux and Kylo Ren. You cannot hear what they say but you know you don’t want to get in their way especially with your forbidden object. You dart into the utility closet next to you. 

“Shit.” You curse as you drop you comic. But it is too late to grab it as you can either the shut the door and be hidden or grab the comic and be caught. 

The voices are muffled but they grow louder. You hold your breath.

Don’t find the comic. Don’t find the comic. You repeat your wish. 

“Is that a comic?” General Hux’s voice is now clearer.

No!

“Uck. A Kade Genti one. I hated these as a kid. But how did it end up here?” Hux ridicules the best literature you have ever read.

“Shouldn’t you be worrying about more pressing matters, Hux, and not about what officer had littered his childish trash?” Ren makes the general huff. They walk off. When there is silence you finally open the closet door. You see no one in the hall and no comic on the floor.

“I guess they threw it away.” It is easy to surmise. With lowered head you quicken your pace to find you room. 

Inside you change into the long black nightgown and crawl into your bed making sure not to lie flat on you back and bottom. You wave your finger to turn off the light.

Your stomach turns thinking how Kylo Ren of all people found the comic he had ordered you to throw away. But maybe he will think someone else brought it. You can’t be the only who would smuggle comic on base. Right?

Knock. Knock. You get out of your bed. Manually, you turn on the light.

Is it Kylo Ren? Had he come to punish you for this infraction? You bite your inner cheek. You are filled dread at the thought of him beating your ass but part of you feels a twinge of excitement at the thought of him touching you again. You open your door ready.

“Where have you been?” Eight-One stands dressed in his black pajamas. His arms are crossed in front of his chest. All excitement is gone. Annoyance has replaced it.

“It’s none of your business but I decided to take a walk. I’m very tired now. Go to bed, Eight-One,” You flip your hand for him to go.

“But-”

“Go!” You push him away. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“But-” He tries to start again but you close the door. Having turned off the light, you crawl back into bed and lay on your side. 

“Stupid, Eight-One,” You murmur to yourself. You cover up with your thin blanket. You close your eyes in hopes of getting some rest. 

Knock. Knock. 

“Ugh! Eight-One!” You throw off your blanket and stomp to the door. You flip the light on.

“I told you to go to bed, dammit!” You yell opening the door. 

“I don’t believe I take orders from you.”

Your stomach drops and you back up into your room. It’s not Eight-One. It’s definitely not Eight-One. 

Kylo Ren steps into your room allowing the door to shut behind him. The back of your knees hits the edge of your bed. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I thought you were someone else.” You look down to the ground instead of his mask. 

“I’m sure you did.”

“I did, sir,” You look up nodding. He stands silently only making you sweat. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? 

“Do you know why I’m here?”

“No, sir.”

“I found this,” He holds up the Kade Genti comic.

You stay silent and use every muscle in your body not to react. 

“I found it in a hallway. I was surprised of course because you swore you would throw it away.”

“I did, sir. I guess someone grabbed it out of the trash to read.”

Slammed against the wall, you struggle breathe. Despite him being away from you physically you feel his hand crushing you windpipe. You claw at your throat as if doing so will give you the ability to breathe. He comes close and leans down so your eyes meet where his should be. 

“Did you keep this?” He asks. He relaxes his invisible hold enough for you answer. 

“Yes, sir.”

“And you lied about it?” 

“Yes, sir.”

You whimper when his hold tightens again. He lowers his hand. With thud you fall down from the wall and cough as you try to breathe again. You rub your hand over your neck. He grabs you by your braid and forces up onto your knees. He kneels down so you are face to mask. 

“You are never to lie to me. Understand?” 

“Yes, sir,” you shake as you answer. 

“Why did you keep it?” He asks. You can’t tell him the whole truth. Then Eight-Seven will get in trouble.

“I wanted to know what happened to Kade and Princess Meia,” You are partly truthful. 

“It’s more than that. What are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing!” You raise your hands up. 

“You’re lying,” he pulls hard on your hair earning a whine. 

“I’m not. I’m not,” You endure.

“I should take my saber and cut your lying tongue out,” he threatens his hand reaching for his dreadful weapon. Your eyes grow in size. Was protecting Eight-Seven worth losing your tongue? 

“Sir, I just wanted to know what happened. That’s all! I was going to throw it away after I finished. I’m sorry, sir. I won’t disobey or lie to you again.”

“You promised me earlier you would do anything I commanded. That was a lie.” He grabs your cheeks making your lips pooch out. “Your mouth is full of lies. I’ll make it full of something else.”

He lets you go and stands straight up. You stay on your knees not sure what he will do. What would he fill your mouth with?

You watch as Kylo Ren’s gloved hands push away outer layer of his dark clothing reaches his pants. He unzips and pulls himself out. Your breath hitches in your throat at the size. You thought it was big you saw it before but now with it right in front of your face you see how truly big he is. You gulp. 

“Open your mouth.” He commands. You lick your lips then open them. 

“Wider.”

You obey. 

He brings the head of his member to the entrance of your mouth. Slowly he pushes in and you adjust your mouth to create more space for him. He slides across your tongue. The taste is a little salty like sweat. You let it sit there. What else are you supposed to do?

“Suck it.” He answers your question. You tighten your lips around him and begin sucking as he says. You move your head back and forth slowly and shallowly not sure if you are doing it right. He grabs your braid and pulls her head closer forcing more of himself inside your mouth. Pulling he leads you on how far and what speed to suck. You feel something moist coming from the tip. It’s very salty but at least it tastes better than the goop you had for dinner. When the tip moves closer to your lips, you allow your tongue to swirl around the opening giving the salty liquid. 

“Fuck.” Kylo grunts but doesn’t force your head forward. Does he like you licking his tip? You lean forward on your own and let your tongue paint the underside of his penis then as you pull away let the underside of your tongue coat the top of his penis. You bob on your own repeating these actions. His fingers curl into your hair as you hear his breathing grow shallower and ragged. The sound and stimulation in your mouth seem to turn on your inner faucet, you feel your panties dampen but only slightly. You allow your hand to go between your thighs as you work on him. 

“No.” 

He waves the hand not entangle with your hair. The hand you were going to use on yourself flies away. You stop sucking in disappointment. He yanks your head forward making you resume. But he does not allow you to choose the pace anymore. He thrusts his hips as he brings your head forward. His tip hits the back of you throat repeatedly making you gag. He let his other hand go into grip your hair. He pounds your throat with such speed and force you fear whiplash and suffocation. You hold onto his thighs for some sort of support. 

“Fuck. I’m going to cum,” He only grows more erratic with his thrusts. 

He isn’t going to cum in my mouth is he? You tense.

“I’m going to fill this filthy mouth of yours up with my cum. You’re going to swallow every drop. Understand?” 

You try to say ‘yes, sir’ but your mouth is too full. 

“Every. Fucking. Drop.” With a final thrust you feel a hot jelly-like liquid fill your throat and mouth. He pulls out of you. You try to swallow but there is so much. You start to open your mouth. He put his hand over your mouth and nose while his other hand is at the back of your head to keep your head still. 

“Every drop.” He repeats. You force it down. He removes his hands allowing you to gasp for air. He puts his now limp self away. 

“Get up.”

You get off your now sore knees and wipe the saliva from the corners of your mouth onto your long sleeve. 

“Lift your dress.”

You grab the hem and begin lifting it. 

“Stop.” You do just above your wet panties. He grabs the front of them and pulls them down. He pushes you back making you fall onto the bed. He push your legs up so your knees touch your chest. He tells you to hold your knees. His finger traces the outside of your major labia. You wiggle wanting to feel the finger go inside. Alas, he just traces the outside slowly. 

“Do you want me to put my finger inside?” He inquires.

“Yes, please, sir.” You brace for entry not with anxiety but eagerness. 

“But you already put your own in there earlier. I’m sure you’ll be fine without mine just like you were in the shower,” he pulls his finger away. You blush. 

How does he now about that? You start to sit up. 

“Don’t get up,” he puts out his hand. As he lowers it, he grabs your underwear and pulls them off your ankles. He tucks them into a pocket. He turns and leaves the room. You sit up on your bed furious, wet, and forced to be commando. You get off the bed allowing your dress to fall. You look down to the ground.

“He dropped it!” You pick up the comic and put it under your mattress with the other copies you have saved over the year. You pick up your blanket and put it back on the bed before you turn off the light. Back in your bed, you lift your dress and let your fingers go down to the area so rudely ignored by Kylo Ren. With the taste of him still in your mouth and the image of his mask in your mind, you work your way to ecstasy. 


	3. Never Challenge Kylo Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the kudos! Enjoy this next chapter! :)

Chapter 3

  
You stand before the newest group of cadets in training. They are all so young. They’re barely older than children. Not that age matters much here. If you progress in the program, you progress. If you fall behind…well, don’t fall behind. 

Eight-One stands giving instruction on how to best handle a blaster. He does a decent job but you could do better. But that wasn’t your assignment. Your job is see how strong these young boys are in hand to hand combat. The lieutenant passing out orders in place of the absent Captain Phasma thought it would be easier for the young boys to take on a female rather than a male like Eight-One. If Captain Phasma had been present such a blatant sexist comment would have not have been said. Of course, now, you must pummel each and every one of these male cadets. 

“So that is how you handle a blaster.” Eight-One finishes. “Now who will be first to face FN-1971?”

The boys look at you. A few smirk to each other. With only your black mesh on they can easily tell your gender. You are not tall like Captain Phasma or have her showy muscles. But that does not mean you are not strong.

“I’ll go,” A freckled, red head volunteers. His pinched face reminds you of General Hux. You stretch as he approaches you on the mat making the braid going down from your head sway. 

“This should be easy,” You hear him whisper.

“I’m in the resistance. You have no weapon and you lost your armor. I am unarmed and without armor too. Come at me,” You give the scenario and wave him forward. He runs at you eagerly. He raises his fist to punch your face. You easily push his wrist toward your opposite side’s hip instead with an open palm as you take a step back so he does not make real contact. You throw a fist into his ribs as you kick the back of his knee making him fall to the floor. He rolls onto his back holding his ribs. You put your foot on his throat. He knows with just a little pressure you can destroy his windpipe. You smirk down at him.

“That was easy.”

You release him and point him toward the side.

“Do you see what he did wrong?” You ask the onlookers. They don’t seem to catch the boy’s faults. 

“He underestimated his opponent. Never underestimate your opponent,” You explain. The listeners nod. 

“Now, who is next?” You put your hand on your hip. The rest of boys are effortlessly sent to floor in tears of pain. Still you have not broken a sweat. 

You notice the influx of troopers who have come to watch the combat training of their future comrades. You smile to yourself pleased you can show off how effortless it is for you to take down these weaklings. You lose your smile when you see General Hux enter along with the Kylo Ren. It has been three days since you sucked him off in your room. Three days you have waited for him to randomly appear with some information about a mistake you have made. Three nights you have gone to bed disappointed but now he is here in your arena and his attention must be on you. You will show him that his discipline has not been for naught. You are being the best trooper you can be. 

“Since you all have fallen so easily, I will step up against FN-1971 to show you how to properly fight,” Eight-One steps to the mat having removed his armor and helmet.   
Like lighting the two of you throw your punches and block them repeatedly before separating. He comes at you low and close and swings his arm in hopes of getting it around your neck. You step back allowing his body to turn giving you the advantage to wrap your arm around his neck from behind. You wrap your legs around his waist and lock your ankles before adding your other arm as to strangle him. He pulls at your arms but you will not loosen them. He falls backward knocking the air out of you as your back hits the ground with his weight atop you. You still stay on but move your legs to go between his to trap him from getting back up. He swings his elbow back into your ribs making your arms release him. He jumps up as do you despite the pain in your ribs and back. 

“Come on,” He waves you toward him with a smug smile. You jump and get your arms around his neck again but he catches you between your legs. He lifts you up only to slam you down onto the mat. You swing your leg up and hit him over the neck. He falls and rolls allowing you to leap over and get atop his back. You put most of your weight on his upper shoulders as you wrap your arms around his neck again. You hope he stays down so you can keep your sleeper hold.

Eight-One pushes up many times before succeeding in rolling over. You roll together and just as he thinks he will emerge with the upper hand you throw his body back and straddle him. You intend to crush his throat with the weight of your body. However, he throws his legs up and crosses them over your chest. You wince at the hits against your breasts. You try to block his feet from your neck as you fall backward. He sits trying to pull your knees away from either side of his head. As you both struggle you fall to your sides. 

You break from his legs thus releasing him as well. He tries to get up but you already are. You jump on him with elbow diving deep into his back sending him down to the ground. You get down and press your knee into his throat. You hear him choke. You glance up to the dark onlooker.

Is he impressed?

“Ah!” You cry out at Eight-One grabs your braid and pulls you off him. He stands and looks down at you pleased he has proven himself superior. You swipe his leg sending him down on his back. You get on top and punch him the sweet spot. He goes unconscious. You get up with heavy breaths. Power surges in you. Applause come for you.   
Your eyes go up to Hux and Kylo Ren. Hux looks down with a smile on his face. He is proud to see his preferred non-clone troopers are successful in hand-to-hand combat. Nothing can be read of Kylo Ren. 

“Now, someone drag him off the mat and then find a partner to spar with,” You instruct the trainees. They quickly obey you. 

“Well done, FN-1971,” You hear the praise and turn back to see Hux walking toward you having descended the stairs. Kylo follows him. You wipe the sweat away from your forehead. You salute your general when he comes before you. 

“You have proven a fine example of how well trained our troopers are. Don’t you think so too, Ren?” Hux continues making you smile. You allow your eyes to go to the taller of the men. You wait for his praise.

“It is easy to defeat someone you have sparred with often. She knows his weaknesses. In real combat she would not know what power her opponent would have and would be more likely to fail.” The words are a slap to the face. Your already pumping blood boils. How dare he take away your victory? 

Embarrassment, disappointment, and pride swirl inside and force a challenge from your mouth.

“Fight me then, sir.”

Anyone within ear shot goes silent. Did a female storm trooper really challenge Kylo Ren to a fight? 

“I doubt you could handle it, little girl,” He remarks turning from you and walking away.

Little girl? The last guy to call you that got his nose broken by your fist. 

“Are you denying me a fight because you fear I will beat you, sir?” You call out the possibility cockily. He stops and looks back at you. Immediately, you regret it. You are lifted from the ground by your throat and immediately brought to Kylo. You struggle to breathe despite there being no physical hold on you. 

“Clear the room, General Hux,” Kylo Ren barks the order. 

“Ren, I-” Hux begins to protest.

“Did I stutter?” Kylo hisses. 

“Everyone out!” General Hux yells. The occupants quickly exit. The young cadets retreat and drag Eight-One with them. General Hux leaves as well. With a wave of his hand, every door locks. The hand outstretch to you lowers and you fall to the ground on your back. You still feel the pressure on your neck.

“See how easily it is for me to defeat you? I didn’t even have to touch you,” He looks down at you. You squirm as if it will allow you more air but it doesn’t. He releases you and you gasp for air again. He kneels down to you. 

“If you didn’t have your special powers, I bet I could take you down,” You don’t know where this confidence is coming from. You hear some sort of chuckle come from the mask.

“Let’s have our fight then. I won’t use the force,” He stands. 

“Really?” You start to sit up.

“Yes,” He starts to remove his outer layers. You get to your feet just as he lays his lightsaber aside. He stands in his undertunic, pants, boots, and helmet. Your eyes admire the way his clothes cling to the obvious muscle he has. You notice his cloves are gone revealing his large pale hands with those long fingers you missed inside you. 

“Your helmet gives you an advantage, sir,” You point out. 

“It stays on. You can put yours on if you wish,” He offers. 

“No. I’ll keep it off,” You decide. 

He walks to the center of the mat as do you. Standing across the mountain of a man you know you cannot attack his head as it covered and far to high for you. You must focus on going lower for your victory. 

“Give me your best shot,” He speaks to you. 

“Ah!” You charge at him. He grabs your wrist and flips you over. You hop back up and come at him again to kick him but he easily grabs your ankle and throws you from him. You get back up and come at him again and again and again. Each time he dodges your attack and sends you to the ground. You do not stay down.

Aching with bruises forming, you barely regain your footing. You inhale and exhale deeply though it hurts your ribs. You raise your fists once more. You jump up to gain some height in this battle. He catches you by the throat and slams you to the floor. He stays atop you. You claw at his hands and mask. 

“You are quite a fighter. I’ve never seen a trooper get back up as much as you do.” His observation makes you stop resisting him. “It is impressive.”

“You really think so?” Your eyes light up. He was impressed! 

“But your insubordinate attitude is not,” He edges off your surge of delight. You swallow allowing his hand to feel the lump going down your throat. 

“I was riled up, sir. I didn’t mean to be insubordinate,” You lower your eyes. 

“I don’t believe you. You wanted to provoke me, didn’t you?” He gives your neck a squeeze. Though it is uncomfortable, the feel of his skin against yours makes you rub your thighs together. 

“No, sir,” You speak only after he relaxes his hand. He dips to your ear. 

“You’re lying again,” His modulated voice is soft but his hand tightens, “You know how much I hate lying.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” You wheeze. 

“I don’t believe you,” He increases the pressure.

“Then punish me, sir,” You manage to say. His hand releases your neck but otherwise he stays still. 

“You want me to punish you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What do you think I should do to punish you?” He surprises you with the inquiry. 

“Whatever you think is fitting, sir,” You respond. 

“No. Tell me exactly what you think I should do to punish you.”

You bite your tongue not sure what to say. You know what you want. You blush as you cannot bring yourself to say the words. 

“Tell me,” He orders. 

You bite your lip to keep the words back. 

“Tell me!” He demands.

“I want you to play with my pussy!” You cry out. You feel his hand slide down from you neck, over your sternum and stomach to your pelvis. The tips of his fingers slide beneath the waistband of both you pants and underwear. Your heart races. Your juices begin to flow in excitement.

No! He pulls his hand out. 

“I thought you were going to punish me, sir?” You look down at the hand no longer touching you. 

“I don’t think that’s what you really want.”

“It is, sir!” you grab his hand. He pulls his hand out of your grip.

“Show me then. Show me that’s what you really want.” He sits up next to you.

Taking a breath, you pull off your pants and underwear. You turn so you face him. You spread your legs and show him your eager and waiting cunt despite the pain it causes you to move.

“Touch yourself.”

You bring your fingers to your lower lips. You spread them and began to lightly touch yourself. You look away from him as you do. 

“Look at me.”

You force your eyes to him. With him actually in front of you, you grow hotter. You let two of your fingers go inside you. How you wish they were his. 

_Zip._ You look down and see him pulling out his hard cock. He begins to rub it. You notice that moves his hand up and down at the same pace you put in and out your fingers. The sight makes it harder to breathe. You close your eyes are you feel your climax coming. 

“Stop.” You open your eyes. You are barely able to stop yourself. He pushes you down flat on the mat and pins your hands above your head with the invisible power of his. His hands press down your thighs forcing your legs down. He brings his engorged member to your wet sex. He rubs himself against the out side of you. You hear him groan. The sounds make your clit twitch. He pulls back and presses the tip of himself between your lips. 

Is he going to put it in? You wonder as he lets it go up and down your slit. Its so much bigger than his fingers. It could not fit in you. But you want it to. You thrust your hips up in hopes of rubbing yourself more against him. He pulls his tip out and continues to rub against you. He starts pinching your clit increasing the pressure coming. You huff wanting more than just this pleasurable friction.

“What do you want?”

“I want it,” You moan grinding your self against him. 

“Say it properly. What do you want?” He presses your clit bringing you closer. 

“I want…your cock,” You speak softly. 

“I can’t hear you.” 

“I want your cock,” You speak a little louder. 

“What?”

“I want your cock!” You cry out desperately.

“What?” 

“I want your cock!” You scream again. 

“You want my cock?”

“Yes, sir.” You whine. 

“Too fucking bad.” He pulls his cock away from you. He twists your nub allowing you to climax. Though the ecstasy is amazing you can’t help being disappointed that he didn’t put his cock inside. You breathlessly watch as he strokes himself twice more before ejaculates on to the mat just between your thighs. You hear his heavy breath as he moves from you. He puts himself away and regains his feet. You feel the pressure on your wrists gone allowing you to put your arms down. You still try to catch your breath. You try to reach to get your discarded pants and underwear. The pain momentarily lost during the pleasure makes it hard. If he weren’t here you could summon them to you but you must do it manually. 

“Here,” Kylo grabs your clothes before you can. Carefully, he put them on you one leg at a time. The gentleness astounds you but you cannot help being grateful. 

“Thank you,” You breathe. He allows you to finish pulling up your clothes. He walks and gathers the articles he took off earlier before your sparring match. You struggle to get off the ground and over to your armor that you had to put aside. You try to grab them but bending proves hard. 

“Stop.” 

The fully dressed Kylo comes over. He picks up the different parts of your armor and puts them on the correct parts of your body. You wait till he puts your helmet on you to smile. 

“Get yourself to medical bay,” he orders. 

“Yes, sir.” You nod and wobble your way to the door. He unlocks it. Hobbling out you see many anxious troopers waiting for you. They turn and act as if they hadn’t been dying to see what happened to the girl trooper locked into the soundproof steel sparring room. Seeing you barely able to walk instilled a great fear in them. They would never challenge Kylo Ren. 


	4. Hoth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos. It gives me such joy! I hope you all enjoy this next chapter!

Chapter 4

Despite the rumor that you were shipped off to a different medical facility to have parts of your body replaced with robotic pieces after Kylo Ren broke every bone in your body, you know the real truth of your absence from duty for the past few days is due to you being on bed rest in Medical Bay with a set of bruised ribs and numerous strained muscles. With a pass and a large amount of pain killers you have been cleared to return to duty. This morning you and Eight-One have been ordered to report to the Control Room. As the two of you walk, Eight-One has decided to lecture you. 

“You should have never challenged a powerful being like Kylo Ren. I am surprised he didn’t kill you,” He only makes your eyes roll. You didn’t really care about Eight-One’s opinion or that Kylo was more powerful than you. You impressed Kylo Ren. That was all that mattered to you. It was worth bed rest to impress him. It was worth bed rest to have him hump you shamelessly on the mat. It would have been even more worth it if he had finally taken your virginity by putting his cock inside you. You did beg after all…

“If I hadn’t been unconscious, I would have stopped you.” Eight-One claims. You laugh. 

“What?” he doesn’t understand what is humorous about his statement. 

“What makes you think you could have stopped me? You were unconscious because of me,” You snicker. 

“Well-uh-I-huff-” He cannot find a good response. 

“Here is control,” You touch the button so the doors slide open. Together you enter. General Hux stands conversing with Lt. Mitaka and Colonel Datoo. There are a few other troopers inside. You recognize them as FN-3156, FN-2198, HM-1804, HM-1222, KC-2468, and that gossip KC-1886. 

“Finally. Stand over there,” The red-haired general points for you two to stand next to the other troopers. You assume he was waiting for you and Eight-One to arrive. 

The doors open again once you are in position. Your heart jumps.

“Do you have my detail?” Kylo Ren speaks directly to Hux. 

“Yes. I have picked some of the best for you,” Hux nods to your eight-man squad. You cease breathing as Kylo Ren turns and walks to your group. He looks over each and every one of the group before you. He stops in front of you.

“You intend to send me with an invalid,” He speaks to Hux but does not face away from you.

“The doctor cleared her for work. Right, FN-1971?” Hux addresses you.

“Yes, sir. I am willingly and able to serve the First Order in any way.”

“See.”

“If you become a burden on this mission, you will be left behind,” Kylo Ren coldly states.

“I understand, sir,” You accept his condition. 

“You all will be accompanying me to Hoth. We leave now,” Commander Ren turns and begins walking out of the room. Lt. Mitaka almost gallops to catch up with his superior. Your squad begins to follow as well. 

“I can’t believe you are here. I thought you were undergoing robotic implantation,” KC-1886 comes to your side having shoved Eight-One out of the way. Of all the female troopers to get stuck with it had to be her.

“No. I’m fine. Obviously or I wouldn’t be here.”

“Yes. Well, I bet you are excited.”

“Excited? To freeze my ass off on Hoth? No.” You disagree. 

“Not that. Lt. Mitaka is coming with us. Who knows? Maybe he will notice you.” You know KC-1886 must have a smirk on her face under her helmet. 

“I have told you before that I have no interest in Lt. Mitaka.”

“Sure you don’t…” She does not believe you. Rather than argue with her. You keep moving. 

In the docking bay, you all begin to board Commander Ren’s command shuttle. A young officer stands by handing out boxes to each storm trooper. Looking in side you see a new uniform and tools. You continue inside and find benches set that are intended for the troopers to sit upon. Commander Ren and Lt. Mitaka have found seats closer to the pilots.

With the exit closed, the ship takes off. The ride is quick thanks to the hyper-speed but it is quiet and boring. No one dares to speak with the higher-ups so close by thus making the trip seem to take longer. Once the ship lands on the ice ball called Hoth, Commander Ren and Lt. Mitaka stand up. Lt. Mitaka puts on a thick, furry coat, mask, goggles and hat while Kylo Ren does not add any additions to his outfit. 

“Why aren’t you all already changed?” Commander Ren speaks to your group. HM-1222 stands up. By the mark on his uniform you know he has been assigned squad leader in your group. You all know it is his first time and he has already messed up by not ordering you all to change during the flight. 

“Sorry, sir. We will change now.” HM-1222 apologizes. Immediately, your squad gets up and begins stripping before your leaders as you all change. 

You pull out a white body glove, an eighteen-piece outer shell, a breather hood, terrain boots and a utility belt. Everyone begins stripping as one does to change. You start but before you take off your black mesh your eye goes toward Commander Ren who has begun talking to Lt. Mitaka. Would he look over at you?

He does not turn his head so you remove your clothes. As you pull the white glove suit up, it proves to cling to every part of your body. You try to get it over your breasts. You feel someone’s eyes on you. In the corner of your eye, you see Eight-One staring. He looks away immediately. You get covered and pull the rest over the top of your head. You put on the many pieces of your outer shell before completing the outfit. You make sure to transfer the pain pills from your former utility belt to your new one. You grab your blaster and are ready to go. 

Lt. Mitaka stands forward as the rest of your squad has finishes dressing and now stand ready for order. 

“We have been given a tip that a man Lor San Tekka may be here,” He holds out a hologram of the man. “Your mission is to find this man.”

“If you find him without me, do not kill him or I will kill you,” Commander Ren makes it clear. You wonder if Eight-One will be able to control his trigger-happy fingers.

“Yes, sir,” You all say and salute. The shuttle’s door open. You find that you have landed at a former Imperial base. It is dark, dusty and cold. Kylo Ren leads the way out. Everyone follows as no one else knows where to go. 

“Search the base,” the commander orders. 

“Come with me,” Eight-One grabs your arm. You go with him. High and low, you search the empty base. The only people you find are now frozen clone troopers from thirty or so years ago. Their lifeless, abandoned bodies send a chill down your spine or maybe it is just the temperature. 

“Let’s go report that we found nothing,” Eight-One suggests. You agree and go before Kylo Ren and Lt. Mitaka. You and Eight-One are again the last two troopers to appear to the group. 

“Anything?” Lt. Mitaka asks. 

“No, sir.” Eight-One answers. 

“We will move the search outside. Lt. Mitaka you take KC-1886 and KC-2468 south. HM-1222 and HM-1804 go East. FN-3156 and FN-2198 go west. You two will come with me north,” your commander points to you and Eight-One. All agree to the assignments. Fortunately, KC-1886 and KC-2468 found old speeder bikes you all can ride instead of walking. 

Kylo Ren opens the base's doors with just his mind after you all mount your speeders. Lt. Mitaka’s group jets out first then the KCs then the HMs then the FNs. Your group is last. 

Hours pass and all you have seen are endless miles of white snow and ice. There no signs of life except for some wild Tauntauns roaming about. 

“Should we turn back, sir?” Eight-One comes up to the commander’s side. He nods. You all turn your speeders back. Eight-One takes off as do you but Commander Ren’s begins sputtering and crashing to the ground. He jumped off in time to land on his feet. You and Eight-One turn back. 

“You can ride me, sir,” You say then realize you forgot a word. “I mean ride **_with_** me, sir.”

You lower your speeder. He motions for you to move off. He takes command of the speeder as you crawl onto the back. As he starts off you wrap your arms around his waist in order not to fall off. He stiff as a board as he drives. You wonder what he would do if you moved your hand lower but you don’t dare. 

“Shit,” Kylo Ren curses as your speeder also begins to sputter and fall. You both jump off. 

“Piece of Junk!” He screams at the speeder and takes out his lightsaber. He cuts up the non-functioning transportation. You back away as he furiously swings. 

With his tantrum over, Commander Ren turns off his sabre and puts it back on his belt. Eight-One flies up to Kylo Ren. 

“Do you want my speeder, sir?” Eight-One offers. “FN-1971 and I can walk back. 

“No. You go on. We will walk. When you get to base, track her signal and send the ship to us, FN-3181,” Commander Ren decides.

“Yes, sir.” Eight-One leaves. Kylo Ren begins stomping his way back base. You quickly catch up to him.

“Sir,” You address him.

“What?”

“Why are we looking for this Lor San Tekka man? Is he a threat to the First Order?” You ask.

“Would we be hunting someone who was not?” He returns with his own question. 

“No, sir,” You decide to shut up and walk in silence. 

“He has vital information that I need,” HE speaks and finally answers your question.

“Ah.”

There is silence besides the wind that whistles as you two continue to walk. A sudden beeping on your wrists interrupts nature’s pure sound. You turn off your alarm and reach into your utility belt and pull out a pain pill. You quickly lift your hood and pull down the part of your glove suit that cover your mouth. You dry swallow the pill before covering back up. 

“I thought you said you were well enough for duty?” Your commander stops.

“I am, sir. I’m just taking what the doctor prescribed,” You reply. 

“You should not have come if your body is not in proper condition.”

“Well, as long as I can walk, talk, and shoot a blaster, the First Order has defined me as healthy enough to work,” You answer. “You don’t have to worry about me, sir.”

“I’m not worried about you.”

It hurts slightly to hear that. 

“I am concerned that what ever mission you are placed on now, including this one, will be in danger of failure because of your feebleness.”

“Feebleness? Am I not trekking this icy tundra with you and at the same pace despite your legs being far longer than mine? I am just as physically fit as any trooper. I am just taking some pills to help heal the ribs _you_ bruised.”

“Don’t blame your wounds me as if I attacked you. You are the one who challenged me to a fight,” He steps up to you and looks down at you. You know he means to intimidate you. 

“Yes. I did. And I am more than ready for a round two right now. That’s how confident I am in my strength,” You press your breastplate against him and not turning your covered eyes from his. 

“I’ll leave you with worse than bruised ribs.” He threatens. 

“Go ahead. Shatter every bone in my body.” You don’t back down.

“You’re being insubordinate again.” His gloved hand goes under your hood to grasp your neck. 

“And you’re being an asshole again.” Feeling his hand tightening you know he is not pleased with your opinion.

“You should really stop provoking me.” 

You say nothing focusing more on your breathing than a response. 

“But you like provoking me, don’t you? You like when I punish you.”

You remain quiet though he is correct. 

“I’m right, aren’t I? That’s why you think of me when you touch yourself at night or the shower.”

Blood rushes to your face with the facts. But how does he know?

“But I’m not going to give into your desires, especially right now out here in the fucking cold.” He releases you and turns around to keep walking.

“I know due to our past interactions that you think all I want to do is fuck you but that’s not true,” You do your best to catch up and grab his arm. He pulls his arm from you but stops.

“Then what do you want?”

“I want to be the best trooper and I want you to think I am too. That’s why I agreed to let you recondition me. That’s why I don’t want you to think I’m just a feeble, horny little girl.” You allow yourself to be vulnerable in your honesty. He puts his hand on your hood as if to hold your cheek through it. 

“Then you’ll have to try harder.” He smacks it lightly and continues on his way. 

What was that? You hold your cheek though it does not hurt. You go and keep some space between you and him. 

The wind grows harder and colder as you all try to walk back to the old base. You can barely see Kylo Ren’s black figure in front of you. Even in your thermal layers, you shiver. How could he not be cold?

“You haven’t fallen behind, have you?” You hear his distinct voice address you as you both start up a hill.

“No, sir,” You yell to him over the wind. 

“I will leave you behind if you do,” The words are irritating to hear.

“I know, sir.”

“Ragghh!”

Suddenly, a great white beast emerges from the ground. Claws out, hideous fangs on show and hunger in its black eyes, you know it’s the legendary Wampa. You jump back and grab the blaster from your hip as Commander Ren grabs his lightsaber. More roars come as more Wampas arise almost out of nowhere. They surround you two. Back to back you and Kylo Ren stand with weapons in hand. 

“If you take those, I’ll take these,” your commander divides the hoard in half. 

“Yes, sir.” You nod. You begin open fire on the giant beasts as Kylo Ren runs to cut them down. You shoot as many as you can. You aim for the head and chest just as you were taught. They fall with painful cries. You look over your shoulder to Kylo Ren who frees the beasts from their heads with great flair. You would just love to sit and watch the master but you slay your beasts. 

“Ahhh!” You scream as something grabs a hold of your leg and pulls you down. You point your blaster at the Wampa from nowhere that has grabbed you. You pull the trigger repeatedly as he stands and lifts you up, but the damn blaster is jammed. You throw your useless weapon up into the monster’s face hitting him in the eye. He drops you as he grabs his eye. 

More Wampas keep appearing. You grab the few grenades in your utility belt. You throw them causing many to blow to pieces. You stand satisfied only to feel a terrible rumble beneath your feet. You look to Kylo Ren who runs his saber through another Wampa before looking to you. The ground breaks. You all fall through. 

* * *

Pain. There is great pain in your head. You struggle to open eyes but once you do you find yourself lying atop a heap of dead Wampas and red snow. Pushing yourself up you see you have fallen into a cave filled with ice, snow and Tauntaun skeletons. 

We must have been climbing on top of the Wampas’ cave. You deduce. You start climbing down the heap onto the ground of the cave where more dead Wampas lay. You see in the collapse even more of your enemies were crushed and killed. But where is Kylo Ren? 

You keep walking deeper into the cave. You hear a strange noise. Is it Commander Ren?

You turn the corner. You freeze seeing a Wampa dragging an unconscious commander by his leg. Silently you tail them at a distance. The beast stop in a hollow where many bones have been discarded. He pick up Kylo Ren as if he were a drumstick. His teeth sink into the man’s arm. 

“Stop!” You scream. The creature pulls out his teeth and looks are you. He drops the commander and starts toward you. 

Shit. You realize you have no weapon or way to defend yourself. You look to Kylo Ren lying on the ground, his blood seeping into the snow. 

What do I do? What would Commander Ren do? He’d use his lightsaber to defend himself. A light goes off and you look to Kylo Ren’s belt. There is no lightsaber. 

He must have dropped it! Your eyes begin searching to the weapon. You turn your back to the beast and begin running from the way you came. 

There! You see it among the bodies. If you could just get over there you could-

“Rarr.” The Wampa grabs your leg. He lift you as the other had. You look to the saber. 

Come! Come! Come! You reach out for it as you have done with so many objects before in your life. It stays still. 

“Come to me!” You scream. 

Whoosh! You catch the steel in your hand. A surge hits you. 

A beautiful woman with the most amazingly styled brown hair in a beautiful silk dress stands with a handsome brunet man with a confident smirk on his face. In the woman’s arms is dark haired child. He calls her “Mama” and the man “Dad”. The vision changes. “Dad” is on a starship as the child reaches out for him. A sudden turn and “Mama” is walking away as well but toward another group. A blonde man dressed in white raises a lightsaber over the dark haired boy as he sleeps. The boy defends himself with a blue light saber and causes the fall of the building atop the blonde. You now stand before Supreme Leader Snoke only to be thrown in to a dark red room. There you feel pain in your hand. But it is not your hand you see but that of Kylo Ren’s. In his palm is a kyber crystal fractured and turned red with blood. Your/His hand shoves the crystal into the lightsaber. 

Is this Kylo Ren’s past? You ask yourself.

As if thrown against a wall you come out of the vivid vision. You are still in the hold of a bloodthirsty Wampa. Hitting the button on the lightsaber, the vibration in your hand is astounding. Your whole body almost trembles with it. You control it and cut off the beast’s arm freeing yourself. Getting to your feet, you run him through. He falls dead just like the others. Panting you turn off the weapon. You keep it in your hand as you run to find your commander in the hollow.

Kylo Ren lies as motionless as the slaughtered Wampas. The snow around his right arm is covered in blood. You kneel by him and shake him. 

“Kylo! Kylo!" You call him by his first name releasing the lightsaber. He does not respond. You rip off your hood and pull off all other coverings around you head. You lean your bare ear against his chest. You heart a heartbeat. But you hear no breathing.

He could be suffocating in that mask! You think. You grab the mask and fiddle on the bottom until you find two buttons on either side of bottom back corner. With a hiss the mask opens. You throw it to the side. 

“Oh, maker,” You gasp. “He’s gorgeous.”

You stop and admire the beauty before you. Thick, flowing black hair frames his pale face. A few freckles and moles make small constellations that add more charm. His nose is long and straight and his lips are thick, just right for kissing. His dark eyebrows rest above his closed eyes. His lips part slightly and he finally inhales. You smile content with his breath. You want to just sit and stare at him. But you must turn your attention to his arm. 

You rip his sleeve off to show the arm. The teeth marks are deep and blood keeps leaking from them. You pull off your utility belt and find your survival kit. Inside you find a bottle of stringent. You pour it over his wound. You hear a groan from Kylo but he does not wake. You take out bandages that you quickly wrap around him. You look to where your pain killers are. You take one out and open his lovely mouth. You force it on his tongue. You pull the little bottle of drinking water out. You tilt his chin before opening his mouth again and pouring the water inside. You close his mouth and pinch his nose until he swallows. Then you free him to breathe again. 

You pull out the shiny silver blanket and wrap his body as you feel a chill against your face. You know he must feel it too. 

“He will need more warmth,” You say to yourself. You look around for some kindling that you could use to build a fire. Alas there is none. 

“I’ll be right back,” You tell the unconscious man. You run back to the place from where you had fallen. You climb the mound of the dead till you reach the opening. The sky has grown dark and the wind thick with ice. There is no way you can go find something. You slide down the corpses. An idea comes. 

You grab a smaller body and drag it back to where Kylo sleeps. You go back for another and another. You pile them up. Pulling out your fire starter you try to light them up. It takes a few tries but they do eventually catch fire creating some warmth. You notice that your leader still shivers. Not sure how to put his helmet back over him, you take your discarded hood and put it over his face. You hurry back to the dead. You grab one and drag him back. Pulling the knife from your survival kit, you begin the arduous task of skinning him. You know the fur will keep Kylo warm. You must keep him warm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there was no smut in this chapter....sorry. I hope this doesn't deter anyone from continuing to read.


	5. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! They really do enliven the spirits over here. ^.^ Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 5

You stare at your patient. He is bundled in three wampa pelts. Your hood still covers his head. You would take it off to get another peak at that stunning face but you don’t want to wake him. Instead you just stare at him and enjoy the warmth given off by the burning bodies even though the odor is horrendous.

You glance over at the lightsaber you kept next to Kylo. You cannot help remembering what you saw in the instant you had first touched it. They had to be Kylo’s memories. The beautiful woman was his mother and that handsome smirking fellow was his father. 

How nice it must have been to have parents. Though you did notice that both left him. You could relate. You never really had parents or at least none that you can remember but they obviously abandoned you too. How else would you have ended up in the First Order’s Stormtrooper program? 

Who was that blonde man trying to kill him? How did he meet Supreme Leader Snoke? Did he make the lightsaber himself? Why did the lightsaber show me these things? Does it have to do with that “sensitivity” issue? I can’t ask Kylo any of this. He can’t know about my “sensitivity”. He’ll have me executed like that others in trooper training when they were proven to be “sensitive” to-oh what is called? The power? The vigor? I forget the word now. But if he figures out that I’ve hidden it all these years when no such people can be troopers then he’ll kill me for sure. Also, he’ll be mad I touched his lightsaber. I cannot tell him. Your mind races. You grab the fourth pelt you made of the wampa fur and wrap it around yourself. Your thermal clothing has kept you warm but there is just something about being wrapped up that makes you feel more comfortable. You close your eyes just for a moment. It has been an unexpectedly difficult day. 

You open your eyes only to find that you have fallen over with your head resting on Kylo’s pelts. You must have fallen asleep. You yawn as you sit back up. You look back to your fur covered superior.

“No!” You jump up finding him gone. You look into the furs incase he sunk into them. He has not. You find your hood discarded in the furs too. 

“Kylo!” You call out as you begin to run in the cave. He had to be inside there somewhere. 

“Oof!” You fall having run into something. You look up and find Kylo standing above you helmetless. You can see his eyes now. They are dark but not unkind. They are pretty in fact. Prettier than you expected. 

“Why are you running?” He asks.

“I was looking for you, Kylo-I mean, sir! I thought you might have tried to leave,” You correct yourself as you regain your feet.

“As if I could leave. Every entrance is covered in ice and snow. I’d freeze to death before I got ten steps out there,” He starts walking back toward your hollow. 

“Are we trapped then, sir?”

“For now. I’m sure once this storm blows over we will be retrieved.” He walks as if he hadn’t just fought a bunch of giant animals. He takes a seat back on the furs you gave him. You sit on your own next to him. 

“How did this happen?” He asks gesturing to his arm. 

“You were knocked out and a surviving Wampa tried to eat you,” You answer. 

“Then what happened?” He focuses his eyes on you.

“Well, I woke up and distracted him. He chased after me but I was able to kill him. Then I took care of your arm, started this body fire, and made some pelts to keep us even warmer,” You give a brief recount. 

“And why did you take off my helmet?” He points to his still discarded mask.

“You weren’t breathing, sir. I took it off and you started breathing. Then I feared you’d freeze your face so I covered you with my hood since I didn’t know how to put you helmet back on you.”

He nods in understanding and accepts the events. You sit quietly hoping for no more questions. 

“How did you kill the beast? Your blaster was jammed and we would probably be dead if you used another grenade. How did you kill it?” He asks the dreaded question. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but the only weapon I could grab was your lightsaber,” You lower your ahead afraid of what he might do. 

“You used my lightsaber?” There is no anger in his voice, only surprise. 

“Yes, sir.”

He reaches out his long arm and his fingers grab your chin. He makes you turn and look up at him. He stares at you for a minute. Although you enjoy the view, you still fear what he will do.

“Thank you for saving my life.”

Pink comes to your cheeks. 

“You’re welcome, sir.”

“You can call me Kylo now. When we are alone, of course,” he lets go of your chin. 

“Okay, si-I mean Kylo.” You tried not grin. 

“You have a gash on your head,” He point to your forehead. You reach up to the area where he points You feel dried blood and an opening. 

“I hadn’t noticed,” You admit. Kylo reaches out his hand and somehow pulls your survival kit to him. He takes out an alcohol pad and begins wiping the wound. It stings but you bear it. 

“You need to remember to take care of yourself as well.” He tosses the pad into the fire. He takes out an adhesive bandage and puts it on you. 

“Thank you,” You touch the bandage once he moves his hand away. 

“We should eat something. So we don’t lose our strength,” Kylo begins searching your discarded belt for you rations pack. He opens all but the right one first. You would have laughed but did not want to risk ruining this rather nice moment. He hands you a pouch of the gray sludge you know is to replenish you. As you use your hands to tear it open, Kylo uses his teeth. You force yourself to start eating instead of watching him. 

“This is disgusting,” He critiques having taken one gulp. You chuckle. 

“What?” He raises an eyebrow. 

“It’s not meant to taste good. It’s purely nutritional,” You answer and squeeze more into your mouth. 

“They could try to add some sort of flavor like nuna legs or meiloorun fruit. Any flavor at all. This is just…disgusting,” He complains with a crinkled nose and downturned lips. 

How childish. You think but happily rather than annoyed.

“If you don’t like it, I can try to cook the wampa’s muscle for you to eat,” You offer. 

“No. No. I’m almost finished,” He rejects the offer. You finish your pouch and toss it into the fire. You watch him almost choke the sludge down before tossing it into the fire. 

“Disgusting.” He mutters again. 

Silence comes again over the two of you. You don’t know what to say or do except watch the fire and wait for the storm to pass. You glance over to Kylo who stares just as intently as you did at the fire. With his eyes focused away, you take in his profile.

He looks like a prince. Like the one that almost forcibly married Princess Meia before Kade Genti whisked her off. But he is much more handsome than that prince. Handsome and princely. You recall both the prince and the storyline.

“Princely?” The adjective leaves his mouth. Your eyes double. Had you said your thoughts aloud? He turns to look at you. The corner of his mouth turns up just a little bit as if amused. 

“You think I look princely.” He does not ask. 

“How do you know that?” Your voice is low. 

“I can hear your thoughts. At least most of the time.” This declaration makes you stop breathing. 

“You can hear my thoughts!” You yelp and cover your head with your hands as if that will keep him out.

“Yes, your thoughts are often exceptionally loud. Especially, when they are about me.”

“That’s how you know about me touching myself?” Your question makes him smirk. 

“Yes.” He leans closer to you, “And how I know when you are lying.”

You gulp. 

“But how-how can you do all of that?” 

“I am very powerful and can use the force like this,” He states. 

“The force?” It clicks. That was the word you forgot. “You’re force sensitive?”

“Of course.” He nods. 

“I thought force sensitive people couldn’t serve in the First Order,” You scratch your head. 

“No. There just can’t be force sensitive stormtroopers,” He corrects your inaccurate rule. 

“Oh…so what is the force exactly?”

“It’s a field of energy from all living things. It completely surrounds and penetrates us all. It binds the galaxy and everyone in it together. But it gives strength to just a few like myself who can sense it.” He answers.

“Is everyone in your family also sensitive to the force?” The question jumps out. You see his eyes grow distant into thought and his lips go straight. He is not pleased with the very personal inquiry. 

“I didn’t mean to pry. I’m so-”

“My grandfather was. My mother and uncle are too,” He answers before you can finish apologizing. 

“And your father?”

“No, he’s just an untalented smuggler. He is no longer my father though.”

You keep your mouth shut. You do not want to ask anything that might upset him. 

“And what about you? What of your family?”

“I never knew them. All I have ever known is the First Order,” You look to the fire. 

“You shouldn’t miss things you’ve never had.”

“I know and I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“I don’t.” You deny and look at him. 

“You do.”

You divert your eyes angry that he is right. You feel tears coming into your eyes which only upsets you more.

Don’t you dare cry about this in front of him. It’s not a big deal at all. Millions of people are just like you. Abandoned and nameless. You are lucky. You are in the First Oder. Sure no one truly cares about you and you’ll never be anything other than FN-1971 to anyone. But it’s okay. It’s fine. Don’t cry. You command yourself. 

“Is a name really that important to you?” his soft question reminds you of his ability to read your mind. 

“It shouldn’t be,” You say though you don’t mean it. He stays quiet then a word falls from his lips. 

“What?” You raise an eyebrow. He repeats it. 

“What is that?” You ask. 

“It’s your name.” He answers. 

“Why would you give me a name?” You truly do not understand. 

“You saved my life. I might as well give you something you want. Besides it’s easier calling you by a name than trying to remember what number you are.”

You beam. You repeat the name he called you. It is far better than FN-1971.

“Only I will call you that and _ **no one else**_.” His voice grows serious in the last three words. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and press yourself tightly against him in a hug. 

“I won’t let anyone else. Only you. Only you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

Realizing that you are hugging the man you start to pull away embarrassed. 

“Sorry. I know I shouldn’t grab my superior in such a way.” You apologize. He grabs a hold of your arms just above your elbows keeping your body close and your face even closer to him. His eyes are locked with yours. They suck you in like black holes. You don’t mind. Your face draws closer and closer to his. Your lips can almost feel his. 

“I guess I’ll have to punish you…” He breathes huskily.

“Please, do.” 

He leans away from your waiting lips. “Strip.”

You stand as he lets you go. You shed every piece of your snow armor till you are only left in your skin tight glove suit. You get it off your shoulders, arms and hands. You manage to tug them off your breasts.

“Stop.” 

You do. He just sits there watching you freeze. You start to cross your arms over yourself to keep yourself warm but he shakes his head in disapproval. You put your arms at your sides. Your skin is covered in goosebumps and your nipples get harder and harder. 

“Continue,” he finally allows you. You pull down the rest of the suit along with your underwear. You step out of it and lay it to the side. 

“Lay down,” He instructs. You get back down on your pelt. He in your place stands and removes his clothing all the way down to his boots. His large erect penis stick out unafraid of the cold. He lowers himself to be atop you.

Kylo’s bare hand goes to your left breast as his mouth goes to your right one. He sucks you nipple allowing it to defrost as his hand massages the other. You moan out at the new found warmth. He switches breasts which you don’t mind at all. 

You spread your own legs so his hips can go between them. You hump against the tip of his cock that lays on top of your wet box. He lets his hand go down to your quim. He strokes you before inserting a single finger into you. He stirs it around. You begin thrusting your hips to take more of his finger in. You want for his finger to turn into his cock. He takes his mouth off your breast with a ‘pop’.

“Growing impatient?” He smirks. You blush but don’t deny it. 

“I can’t wait anymore, Kylo. I want you. I want you inside me. Please,” You beg. He takes his finger out of you and sits up. He spreads your legs even further apart. With himself in hand, he rubs his tip against you as he has done before. 

Your eyes stay on his face. Kylo’s eyes however are focused on where the two of your bodies are about to join. He holds himself. His tip barely goes between your lower lips. He is hesitating. Why? He presses his lips together and his eyebrows come together. Slowly he moves more inside. Your hands fly to his forearms to help you brace yourself. You close your eyes as you grit your teeth. There is pain as he stretches your canal to fit his large member. It feels like he is growing larger and longer inside. He does not stop till he is fully sheathed inside you. He does not move but holds still. 

“Open your eyes.” You do. His dark ones are solely focused on yours. You have never felt more seen.

Kylo draws his hips back slowly pulling himself almost out before he throws them forward abruptly sending him deep in again. You whimper at the feeling. He repeats this all the while not moving his eyes, not breaking this illusion of just the two of you. The pain begins to subside as he continues. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast. 

His hand comes to your cheek and wipes the tear you didn’t know you shed. He leans down and kisses you. It is soft and delicate. You knew his lips would be perfect for kissing. You send your arms around his neck as you open your mouth for him to enter there too. His kiss is hungry and wet and perfect.

Your hands can’t help going into his soft, thick hair as his tongue plays with yours. He begins to quicken the speed of his thrusts. His tip hits a nerve inside making you moan more into his mouth. As if on purpose he thrusts himself back to the spot over and over again causing more sounds of delight to emerge from you. The very much wanted warm pressure builds inside you. He pulls his mouth away from yours. It goes to your neck. You hear him say your secret name.

“Kylo. Kylo,” You call him name as you come closer and closer to rapture. His thrusts become faster and harder the more you say his name. You start clawing at his shoulders and back as feel yourself about to cum. He lifts his head and looks back at your face. You see him straining as if he is barely able to keep from cumming. But his eyes stay focused on yours again. The intensity of his gaze and cock almost have you there. In that moment it feels like everything else in the whole galaxy is gone except you and him.

“Don’t close your eyes even when you cum,” He orders. You nod your head but honestly, you’re not sure if you can. So close. So close. Close. Close. Close. Cl-

“Kylo!” You cry as your wave hits. It takes all your strength to keep your eyes open and on him as he sends you into toe-curling ecstasy. He groans loudly too as he gives a final thrust and explodes inside of you. He collapses atop you, his forehead going against yours as his seed still squirts inside filling you up. 

Your eyes no longer see the icy ceiling or Kylo but a slightly older man sitting across from you on a ship dressed sloppily in a vest. He is a bit scruffy looking but you recognize him from the other vision. He was Kylo’s father, the one who flew away on the ship. 

“Now, kid, when you make love to a woman for the first time, ever, make sure you look her in the eyes. It makes you two feel like you’re the only people in the world,” He speaks softly as he gives his advice then he smirks and glances away, “At least that’s how it feels when I look in your mother’s eyes when we-”

The man evaporates and you find Kylo still atop you with eyes closed trying to breathe. 

Is he thinking of his father and his advice? Was that why he kept eye-contact? He said to do the first time he made love to a woman. Am I his first? The thought sets your heart aglow and sends tingles over your body. 

Kylo pushes himself up and rolls off you having pulled out his softening manhood. He lays on his back looking at the ceiling. He must not have read your thoughts. So, you look over at him glistening in sweat. 

Gorgeous. 

Kylo looks back at you. He holds his hand out to the stack of furs he had rested with and brings them atop the two of you. He grabs your wrist and pulls you close to him. He wraps his arms around you pressing you against his chest. 

“We should stay like this for a while so we don’t freeze,” he explains his actions. You cuddle closer.

“Don’t expect me to hold you every time we fuck. I’m just holding you now because it’s cold,” He continues. You smirk against his glorious pecs. He sure is defensive about holding you despite no one saying there was any other reason for him to hold you besides to warm up. You say nothing of that though. Instead you just enjoy his body heat and relax.


	6. The New Assignment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments! Sorry for that wait but here is the next chapter! Enjoy!

Chapter 6

Laying on Kylo’s chest, you feel your head rise up and down with his deep breaths. His arm stays wrapped around you and his other hand rests atop your hand that lays on his sternum. Your leg is over one of his. He is still asleep. You tilt your head up to look at his face. You notice his eyebrows are pointed down and together. His lips are turned down. You feel his breathing growing more rapid. 

“Kylo?” You call him softly and start to push yourself up. He does not answer. You look to his arm to see if the wound has reopened but there is no evidence. 

“Kylo?” You touch his face. His eyes fly open and with very little effort he has you pinned down on your back. His hand is wrapped around your neck. He squeezes tightly. He breathes heavily but upon realizing who you are, he stops squeezing. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you but you were having a nightmare,” You apologize after regaining your air. He sighs deeply and lays his forehead against your collarbone. 

“You’re not at fault,” He murmurs and raises his head. 

“Are you okay?” You touch his cheek. His eyes slowly move to your hand that rests against his cheek. He starts to open his mouth. You fear you have gone too far. You start to pull your hand away.

“I’m sor-” You stop as he grabs your wrist and turns his lips to kiss your palm. He rests his mouth there. Even though he has barely touched you, you feel something growing inside. 

Bing….Bing…Bing…The noise makes him pull away from your hand. 

“What is that?” Kylo asks you. 

“It’s my homing signal,” You frown. He gets off you and you sit up. 

“The storm must have passed. They are on their way to us.”

“I guess we should get dressed,” You look to your discarded clothes. He nods in agreement. You grab for your clothes as he grabs for his. You know you should be dressing as quick as possible but your eyes want to focus on Kylo slowly covering up his exquisite body. 

“Get your clothes,” He doesn’t even look to you but you turn your eyes away. You do your best to dress quickly. The many pieces of your armor prove tedious. You also notice blood splatter all over you from the fighting and the skinning. 

Bing. Bing. Bing. The frequency of the homing signal means the group is coming even closer. Kylo tosses you your hood as he starts to put on his helmet. 

What a shame. You think sadly. 

“Take one more look,” he sighs rolling his eyes annoyed and removes the helmet. You study his face once more before he put his helmet on. You pull your hood over your head.   
Kylo attaches his lightsaber to his belt. You forgo trying to look for your blaster that must be buried with the mount of dead wampas. You notice the fire has long since gone low next to where you and Kylo had laid. You look down at the fur beneath your boots. You see the residue of your and Kylo’s passion there as well as your blood. 

“We should get on top so we can be seen easily,” Kylo starts walking down the cave’s hall. You follow with your homing signal binging incessantly. Kylo easily maneuvers up the corpses. You follow though your legs don’t stretch as far as his did. And your rather sore crotch is hindering you as well. You almost reach the surface. You hear your name as Kylo reaches out his hand to you even though it is the one belonging to his naked and injured arm. You take it and let him help you up to the snowy land.   
  
Kylo releases your hand and points out the flying command shuttle coming toward you both. It lands at a distance but the walk is short for you and Kylo. The door lowers allowing entry. Lt. Mitaka stands ready to greet Kylo as the stormtroopers stand at the sides.

“You’re hurt, sir.” Lt. Mitaka notes the bandages. 

“Did any of you find Lor San Tekka?” Kylo ignores Lt. Mitaka’s statement.

“No, sir. There was no sign of him,” Lt. Mitaka answers. 

Kylo walks briskly past Lt. Mitaka and the troopers to his seat behind the pilots. Lt. Mitaka goes to his seat. The troopers sit and you move to the empty spot Eight-One made sure to leave for you. 

“Are you okay?” Eight-One leans over to you. 

“I’m okay,” You whisper. 

“You’re covered in blood. What happened?” He continues his mild interrogation. 

What could you say? Eight-One would never believe that you fought Wampas. He would shit himself and probably report you to Captain Phasma if you informed him that the second half of your survival involved you losing your virginity to your fearsome leader Kylo Ren in a cave. 

“I’ll tell you later. I’m very tired, Eight-One. Let me rest,” You sigh. He does you the curtesy of not speaking anymore. You are not actually that tired. Kylo’s body proved a perfect sleeping place. Still, it is easy to claim fatigue for Eight-One did not know you slept the storm away cuddled up to Kylo. 

The ship takes off. You cannot wait to get back to base and take a hot shower. Then you can go to your room and get more of your painkillers since you did give the last of your day’s supply yesterday to Kylo. 

Arriving back at Starkiller Base, Kylo and Lt. Mitaka exit first. You and your group exit after with your boxes of your regular uniforms inside. You have all been dismissed to shower and redress. But you are to meet for reassignment in two hours. You immediately head to your dorm. 

You throw your box down and rip off the bloody ones. You find your painkillers and take one before you grab your robe and leave. In the last stall of the shower room, you look at yourself naked in the mirror. You still have the bandage on your forehead. You take it off with the plan in mind to clean it and put a new one on after your shower. You look at the rest of yourself. There is a bruise forming on the side of your neck. You touch it remembering that it was Kylo’s mouth that made it as he said your name. You look further down and see the stains of blood and semen on your inner thighs. Although the only outward differences between yourself before this mission and after are these wounds, you wonder if anyone else can tell you are no longer virgin. It seems to scream off your very skin. 

You turn on the water with a flick of your hand. You then bring your hand into the other. You look to it. You remember how softly he kissed your palm and what he called that ability. 

“The Force.”. You shake your head and get into the water. As you rinse you take your hair down from bun you had. You carefully wash your hair with the shampoo of the dispenser before washing the rest of yourself off. 

Getting out of the shower you dry off and put your robe back on. You look at your hair. You wonder if you could pull off the style you saw in the vision. You part your hair down the middle. You take one side and swirl it into a bun on the side of your head. You repeat it on the other side. You giggle. It is not as grand or beautiful as Kylo’s mother. But you keep it up as you leave since it is different.

Walking back toward your room, you see KC-1886 coming toward you in her robe. You hope she will just pass on by but she stops and grabs your arms. 

“Are you okay? You were covered in blood and I see you have a gash there!” She points out the wound.

“I fell but I’m fine,” You assure her and try to pull your arms away. 

“But you had so much blood and Kylo Ren’s sleeve was torn off and his arm was wrapped in bandages.”

“We were attacked by some wampas but we were able to kill them,” You keep the tale to the bare minimum.

“Oh, wow.”

“Yep. Then we found a cave to survive the storm.”

“So that’s how you two survived! When FN-3181 came back to base without you the storm had just started and we thought you would have died!” 

“Yes, well, we did not.”

“I see that. Wow. I could not imagine being trapped for a night in a cave with that man especially after he thrashed you just a few days ago. You are so much stronger than I am.” KC-1886 shakes her head but compliments you. 

“Thank you…” You’re not really sure if you should thank her. 

“But I bet you wished you were trapped in a cave with Lt. Mitaka instead of Kylo Ren. Who knows what could have happened?” KC-1886 snickers. You smirk knowing you were more than happy with your cave companion. 

“How was your mission with Lt. Mitaka?” You turn the focus on KC-1886. 

“Oh, boring. We just sped around and looked at snow for hours. No one even talked! I absolutely hated it.”

“I bet. Well, I’m going to get dressed and eat before we get re-assigned today,” You finally get out of her hold.

“Oh, okay. See you later,” She continues to the showers as you keep going toward your room. 

Once in the solitude of your own room, you pull on a fresh pair of panties before putting on your everyday armor. You put a new bandage on your rather fast healing forehead. You pull down your hair and braid it before putting on your helmet. You go to grab your blaster but remember you left it on Hoth. You will have to get a new one from the armory. But that can wait till after lunch you figure. 

You enter the cafeteria and grab a tray of green goop today. You snicker knowing this bland meal would not be up to Kylo’s standards. As you walk to find a table you see FN-1226. You cannot stop yourself from smiling seeing her eating at the table. You practically run to her table and throw down your food. 

“Two-Six!” You gush and embrace her. She stays still in your hold before you release her. 

“I didn’t know you got back!” You sit across from her. You notice she does not smile back at you. Instead her thin lips stay in a straight line. Her whole round face lacks any excitement or really any emotion. 

“Hello, FN-1971,” Her voice is monotone and distant. 

“I’ve missed you,” You state.

“I hope it did not impede your work,” She takes a bite of her food. 

“It didn’t…Are you okay, Two-Six?” You put your hand on her wrist. 

“I am well.” She answers. You know she is lying but you do not want to press her. 

You take your hand from her wrist and instead take spoonful of your food and put it in your mouth. You knew after being sent to reconditioning for her affair with FN-0878 that she might be a little different but you did expect to be sitting across from a human droid. What did they do to her? You know better than to ask. You never ask what happens in reconditioning. It is different for each Stormtrooper. You find yourself grateful your “reconditioning” with Kylo has not left you like this. 

“Seven-One,” You hear your nickname. You look over your shoulder to see Slip, Nines and Zeroes. They all come to the table.

“Two-Six,” They greet the other female there. She does not respond. You look to the men and shake your head. They instantly know not to address the returned trooper. You all sit in a moment of silence as everyone begins eating. Then Eight-One appears. Two-Six immediately stands and leaves at the sight of him. It is strange. They never had any issues before…

Eight-One is greeted by his fellow comrades. He takes Two-Six’s former seat. The men speak as you try to eat the green sludge. Your ears perk up when Eight-One begins talking about the recent mission to Hoth. 

“So, the speeders stop working. Only mine is functioning. I offer my speeder to our commander but he sent me off to get help. But before I can get back to the shuttle this terrible storm started. I could barely see my hand in front of my face but I managed to get back to the ship. But I could not go back into the storm to get Seven-One or Kylo Ren,” Eight-One shakes his head dramatically. 

“And you were left alone with him in the storm?” Slip looks to me to finish the story.

“Yes. As we were walking, a hoard of Wampas came upon us. But we killed them all then found their cave and hid in there till the storm was over. Then the group came and found us because of the homing device in my uniform,” You keep the explanation short. 

“Wampas!” Nines and Zeroes both pale at the thought of the horrid beasts they’d heard of. 

“Yes. But Kylo Ren is very skilled with his lightsaber,” You praise him. They all nod as none could argue against that. 

“So, you two hid in a cave together all night?” Eight-One is the one to ask his eyebrows going down in concern and jealousy. 

“Yep.”

“I’m sure Captain Phasma will be impressed that you can handle being alone with him. Not many can,” Zeroes comments. 

“Is Captain Phasma back?” Eight-One asks.

“Yes. She finished up with that tunnel business. But Eight-Seven pissed her off or something so now he is starting three weeks of sanitation duty,” Nines laughs. 

“She’s been a bit on edge while giving assignments too. I sneezed during mine and now I’m going ot have to join Eight-Seven on sanitation duty for the week.” Slip sighs. 

Assignments! You totally forgot. Your eyes glance to the clock in the cafeteria. 

“We need to get going, Eight-One.” You point up at the clock. He agrees so you two quickly throw away your garbage and begin a brisk walk to get your assignments. 

“Where is your blaster?” Eight-One notices your missing weapon. 

“It got left on Hoth.”

“You’ll be in trouble without a blaster,” Eight-One notes.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

“We should stop by the armory.”

“Then we’ll be late and we will both be punished. It’s really okay, Eight-One.”

He does not fight you anymore.

“That wound on your head. Was that from him?” He asks quietly. You know who ‘him’ is.

“No. I fell,” You answer. 

But if you asked about any of the other marks on my body I would have to lie…You think recalling your reflection in the mirror. 

“Good. I’d hate to report him for abuse of a subordinate if he had.”

You stop.

“What?”

“He is our superior but he can’t get away with abusing subordinates,” Eight-One claims. You laugh. Though you cannot see his face, you know he is frowning beneath his helmet.

“Eight-One, Kylo Ren is second only to the Supreme Leader. Who would you report him too?” You point out the ranking. 

“I’m sure General Hux would not be pleased,” Eight-One mentions the leader of their army.

“He may not be pleased but he is below Kylo Ren. And I have not been abused in the slightest. So don’t worry about me, okay? Just worry about yourself,” You start walking again. He grabs your arm.

“Why can’t you let me worry about you?” He questions but you wrench your arm out of his hold.

“Because I’m a grown woman who can take care of herself.” You return to your speedy pace. He follows unhappily. You wait for him at the door of your destination before it opens. 

“FN-3181. FN-1971. Good of you to finally join us,” Captain stands inside the room. You see the other members of you Hoth group present. How do they keep getting everywhere before you?

You and Eight-One get into position. Captain Phasma walks to each trooper and assigned them various duties. When she reaches you, she pauses.

“Where is your blaster?” She asks.

“I lost it on Hoth after it got jammed,” You answer. 

“Why did you not go to the armory for a new one?” She continues. 

“I ran out of time.”

“I told her to go to the armory,” Eight-One speaks up. You want to hit him. 

“Did I ask you, FN-3181?” Captain Phasma snaps at Eight-One. You grin underneath your helmet. But you drop it when her attention is back on you despite her not being able to see through your helmet. 

“You will go to the armory and gain a new blaster once you are dismissed.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“Commander Kylo Ren informed me of your brave display in the fight against Wampas on Hoth and your treatment of his injury. For that the commander has asked for you to be assigned as his personal guard.”

You are left gob-smacked with the request. He definitely does not need a guard but to be asked is a great honor. And a chance to be near him.

“Is that my new assignment, Captain?” You try to hide the excitement in your voice. 

“As of now, yes. You will report to him after you go to the armory,” Captain Phasma responds. She looks to FN-3181. “You will be on sanitation duty this week.”

Once dismissed you desert the upset Eight-One. You practically hop to the armory where you pick up a new blaster. You carry it with you as you go in search of your commander. Given a tip by a passing you droid you head toward his quarters. 

Standing outside Kylo Ren’s quarters, your heart quickens. Though it had been just a few hours, you wanted to see him. Maybe you two could have another round of passion. He could finish what his hand kiss started in the cave. You raise your hand to knock on his door. Instead it slides open. Kylo stands at the door fully dressed in fresh clothes and with his mask on. You salute him.

“I’m here to report for duty, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut again. Sorry.


	7. Control Your Tongue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Hope you are all doing well! Thanks you for the comments and kudos. They are so encouraging. Please enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think!

Chapter 7

“I’m here to report for duty, sir.” You stand with your hand at your forehead to show respect to the commander. You excitedly wait for his response. 

Kylo walks right pass you. It takes a moment to come out of the shock of his lack of response. You spin on your heel and quickly catch up to him. You want to speak to him but cannot find what you want to say. 

“Where are we going, sir?” You decide to ask.

“I have a meeting with General Hux and a couple of Admirals,” He turns a corner. 

“Is it about that man Lor San Tekka?”

“You ask too many questions for someone of your station.” He snaps at you. 

“Sorry, sir.” You know he is right. It is not your place to ask about the goings-on of officers. He reaches the main conference room. He enters and you follow behind him. You stand against the wall as Kylo takes a seat at the table where General Hux already sits with two more men.

“Why is she here?” General Hux asks Kylo looking at you. 

“She is my personal guard. Now, let’s get down to business,” Kylo begins the meeting. The content of their meeting is in a word - dull. They speak of trade routes and budgets. There are a few mentions of possible resistance bases. You try to pay attention but you can feel your eyes glazing over. 

“We want to claim the mines of the Marisui for the First Order. But the Marisui will not give them up without a fight,” One of the admirals with a short nose mentions the people group you had patrolled a month ago on the planet Jorta before you went to Coruscant. 

“How many of my men need to go against the Marisui?” General Hux refers to the stormtroopers. 

“A hundred should do,” Admiral Short-nose decides. 

A hundred troopers against the Marisui? We’ll be slaughtered. You think. 

“FN-1971,” Kylo calls you.

“Yes, Sir?” You straighten. 

“I sense you have an opinion on this matter.” He states. The Admirals turn to look at you as does General Hux. The three men do not look pleased. You hesitate. 

“Tell us.” Kylo urges.

“Well, sirs, the Marisui appear to be a small group but having patrolled there I know that many of them actually live in the mountains. But if there is a fight they will emerge to fight. We also learned that they are being supplied weapons from the Black Knights. To prevent a slaughter of troopers and to quickly suppress any threat from the Marisui, you may need 400 armed troopers. The Marisui will be more likely to submit at the sight of so many troopers,” You give your input about the situation while trying to remain respectful. 

“You think that just because you patrolled there once that you know more about the Marisui than us?” Admiral Short-nose crosses his arms. 

“I just patrolled there a month ago, sir. Unless there has been a drastic event, the people probably have not changed. The hundred men you send will surely be butchered.” You answer. 

“Well, they are just troopers,” He sniggers. The other admiral smirks as he agrees. You feel heat spread in your chest and cheeks. 

“We are willing to die for the First Order but that does not mean that you should play with our lives. We are human beings too,” You remind them with indignation. You bite your tongue when Admiral Short-Nose turns red in the face and stands. 

“You do not talk to me like that, little girl. I am an Admiral,” He points a chubby finger at you with anger in his beady eyes. You know you should apologize but you have meant every word you said. 

“I should have your tongue burned out.” He continues. 

“Take how many men you need, Admiral. Leave this one to me,” Kylo stands and moves to you. You swallow hard. 

“Let’s go,” He walks to the door. You follow him. He remains silent as do you as you both walk the halls. He stops, allowing the doors to his quarters to open. He enters and you follow. You are taken aback at his quarters. They are dark and austere but rather minimalistic. There is a large bed and a desk with a calligraphy set, a bottle and a cup. You see two doors which you assume lead to a bathroom and a closet. You had wanted so badly to be alone with him in here an hour ago but now you want to be anywhere else. 

“Take off you helmet.” He stands by his desk. You pull it off allowing your braid to fall down. You wait for further instruction. 

“Get on your knees.” 

You lower yourself and put your helmet on the floor next to you. You look up at him but he kneels in front of you so your face is directly in front of where his should be. 

“I’m sorry,” You let the words out.

“For what?”

“I should not have spoken to the Admiral that way. He just made me so mad. He will waste so many lives just because he doesn’t want to listen to a trooper.” You huff. 

“He is a fool. You’re right that there will be a slaughter should he only take a hundred men.”

You start to smile at his agreement with you. 

“However, you cannot speak to a superior officer that way. It makes me look bad for having promoted an insubordinate cadet to be my personal guard.”

“I didn’t mean to make you look bad. I just lost my temper.”

“I understand. But you must learn to control your tongue and I must punish you.”

His last words make you start to smirk. What would he do to you? Play with your pussy? Make you suck his dick? Make you feel like that only beings to exist as he makes love to you? You hope for the last. 

“Stay there.” He stands and walks to one of his other doors. You start removing your armor and laying it next you. He returns out of the other room. 

“What are you doing?” He stops at the doorway with a hand behind his back. 

“I’m preparing for my punishment,” You answer trying not to smile. 

“You don’t need to remove your clothes,” He keeps walking toward you. 

“Oh…” You look down. You still have most of your clothes on. His finger goes beneath your chin and lifts your face up to him. 

“Open your mouth.”

I guess he wants me to control my tongue around his cock. You mentally giggle. You open wide. Instead of his cock he pulls his hand from behind his back. In it is a brand-new bar of soap. He puts it in your mouth. He makes your teeth sink into it barely to hold it in place over your tongue. You cringe at the taste despite the it smelling like trees. 

“Keep this here and stay on your knees till I say so. And don’t swallow.” He turns his back to you and goes to his desk. He takes a seat. 

Seriously? He is going to leave you on your knees with soap in your mouth like a child who cursed at her teacher? 

Your eyes stay on Kylo as you struggle not spit out the foul cleaning substance from your mouth. He sits and writes. He takes his time carefully writing every letter. 

As the time passes your knees begin to ache. Your mouth waters and creates bubbles in your mouth. You know you cannot swallow it or risk becoming ill. You tilt your head forward and open your mouth just a little allowing the liquid to leak out the corners of your mouth. This really is a punishment!

Kylo stands and you straighten up hoping he will come and give the order to move and spit. He just walks to the room he went to earlier. You can now guess correctly that it is his bathroom. You hear water beginning to run.

Is he seriously going to take a shower?

The door opens. Kylo comes out with only a towel about his waist. He is not wet at all. 

“Stand up and remove your clothes. But don’t spit out the soap.” He goes back into the bathroom. You struggle to get to your feet. You stretch your legs to gain some feeling back into your knees before you take off the rest of your clothes. You walk slowly to the bathroom. Inside you see Kylo already in his large shower. He stands mostly in the water but his wounded arm stays out in its wrappings. He opens the door and waves you in. You feel the warm water hit your bare skin. You had already showered. You didn’t need another but if it means being naked with Kylo you are more than willing to shower again.

Kylo’s fingers grab the exposed part of the soap in your mouth. He pulls on it with the command to release it. He gives you permission to rinse out your mouth with the shower water which you do with your back to him as you don’t want him to see you spit. 

“Open your mouth again.” His dark eyes focus on your lips when you turn back to him. You do and frown as he puts the soap back in it. He makes you hold only the edge in your teeth. He purses his thick lips as he stares at your soap bearing mouth as if he is thinking of what to do next. 

“Clean me.” 

You raise an eye brow and look over him not sure how you are supposed to clean him. You see no soap in the shower except what is in your mouth. It dons on you what he means. 

You get on your tiptoes and press the soap against his shoulder. You lower your head causing the soap to spread down over his chest. You stretch your neck in every direction you can to cover his upper body in soap. You get his uninjured arm covered as well. You rub your hand against him making the soap go deeper into his skin. He steps into the water to wash it off as you go behind him. You almost have to climb him to reach the back of his shoulders then go down his back. You start to rub his shoulders and back with your hands when you decide to use your much softer breasts. It is rather fun seeing the bubbles cover your breasts as you write his name on his back with them. Your attention however goes to his tight buttocks. You kneel and lather his arse. You bring your hands back into use as you begin massaging him. He stays stiff at your touch. He turns suddenly nearly slapping your face with his erect penis.

“This needs more attention,” He claims. You look up against the water falling over you before dipping your head down. You slowly rub the soap along the underside of his erection then move to the sides. Taking it into your hands you clean the top and tip. You rub your hands against the soap getting some in your hands. You softly cup his balls and clean them. You turn your attention back to his stiff member. You grab your breasts and push them together around him. You move them up and down spreading the soap around his cock. You rub your mouth soap around the tip whenever you pause your movements with your breasts. You upturn your eyes and see him closing his eyes. His hands find your hair as he begins to thrust himself between your breasts allowing you to do less work. You keep the soap out so with each thrust the tip slides against it. You’re grateful for the soap as his thrusts grow more forceful. 

“Fuck.” 

You close your eyes just in time as his cum shoots out over your face, neck and breasts. He lets go of your hair and pulls the now cum-covered soap from your mouth. He pulls you up and stares at you covered in cum and suds. He licks his lower lip. 

“Wash off,” he then exits the shower. He grabs a towel and leaves the bathroom. You immediately rinse the soap out of your mouth again. You break the used soap so you have the part not covered in his semen to help scrub that which is still on you. Once clean, you step out and find a single towel. You dry off your body then pat away your hair. You wrap the towel around your body before exiting the bathroom. 

Kylo stands by his desk with paper in hand. You walk to his side. 

“Here is your new list of duties as my personal guard,” He hands you the paper. You look at the parchment. 

“Wow.” You whisper not because of the assignments but because of how beautiful his writing is. It looks more like art than a list of jobs. You have to refocus yourself to read the list. 

_1\. You will arrive at my quarters every morning at five o’clock._   
_2\. You will not leave my side until I dismiss you._   
_3\. You will control your temper._   
_4\. You will do what I say without any hesitation._   
_If you break these rules you will be punished._

“I will do all you ask,” You put the list to your chest. He takes the paper from your hands and puts it back on the desk.

“Shall we seal the deal?” He asks. He pulls away your towel making your grin. 

“Yes, please.” 

He lifts you up and puts you atop the contract and the desk. He drops his towel allowing his re-erect cock to show itself. His mouth finds yours. You wrap your arms around his neck as his hands spread your knees. He slips inside you far easier than the first time. As he rolls his hips into you, the desk shakes. You wrap your legs around his hips. The violent shaking knocks over his pens, ink, bottle and cup to the floor. They crash and spill but he doesn’t care. His attention is on far more important things like pushing his cock deeper and deeper inside you. His thumb goes to your clit. He teases it. You gasp pulling your mouth away from his. 

“Say my name,” His eyes lock with yours.

“Kylo,” You moan softly.

“Louder.”

“Kylo.” You claw at his shoulders feeling yourself growing closer. 

“Louder!” He pinches your nub. 

“Kylo!” You yell. 

“Again.”

“Kylo!”

“Do you want me to make you cum?” He asks.

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, Kylo!”

“Beg me,” he slows his speed. 

“Please, Kylo. Please, let me cum!” You cry out. He increases his speed. He bucks wildly between your thighs but you like it. You scream out his name again and again as you are about to burst. He grunts your name repeatedly. His wet hair sticks to his forehead and yours as he leans against your head. 

“Kyloooo!” He slams his cock into you as every part of your body shudders at the sensation. You feel his warmth spilling inside you. You stay together and still as you both try to regain your breath.

Kylo pulls out of you letting the mix of your pleasures flow onto your list of duties. Instead of blood you’ve signed with cum? He picks up his towel and wipes himself off. 

“Get cleaned up and dressed,” He walks away from you. You try not to frown. He did say he wouldn’t hold you after each time you fucked. 

You get off the desk and collect the clothing you had discarded before going to the bathroom. You are able to clean up the evidence of your copulation before redressing. You leave the bathroom and find him half dressed in just pants, rather high waisted pants at that. 

“You are dismissed for the rest of the day,” he informs you. 

“I will be here first thing in the morning then,” You pick up your helmet from the ground but don’t put it on yet. You reach to press the button to open the door but he calls your name and you stop. 

“Yes?” You look back to him with a little smile of hope on your face that he’ll order you to stay. 

“Don’t be late.”

“I won’t.” You press the button and leave his quarters. You put your helmet on and go on your way. You could not wait to get up tomorrow morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Marisui people and planet Jorta are not at all in the star Wars universe. I just made that up as well as Admiral Gatiss.  
> I know soap is only for external use and that ingesting it can be terrible for you but I did what I did. Hope y'all enjoyed it!


	8. Pew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the 100 kudos and the comments! Enjoy!

Chapter 8

It is 4:30 when you arrived to Kylo’s door. You aren’t quite sure why you came so early. Is it because you are nervous about your first full day of duty? Is it because you want to show him how dedicated you are to your new position by coming early? Is it because you want him to praise your initiative? Is it because you think that maybe he will want to have sex during the extra time you have? Is it a mix of all of these things? 

Knock. Knock. You patiently wait for him to answer after you lower your hand. You stand and wait and wait and wait. 

Is he sleeping? He has thirty minutes to be ready for the day. He did tell me five. I got up at least thirty minutes or more before assignment time. Surely, he must be awake. You think and raise your hand to the door and knock again. A few seconds pass the door slides open. You salute your commander with a smile under your helmet. You lose your smile as Kylo glares at you in a black robe carelessly tossed on him. His black hair is sticking up in some unique ways. His jaw his tight and his lips downturn. 

“What?” He hisses. 

“I’m here to report for duty…sir,” You swallow realizing he was asleep. 

“What time did I tell you to arrive?”

“Five, sir.”

“What time is it now?” 

“Four thirty-five,” You answer. He steps back and slides the door back blocking you any access to his quarters. You sigh and step to lean against the wall next to the door. 

First, I messed up that meeting with Admiral Gatiss and now I’ve put Kylo in a bad mood by coming early. I should have just stayed in bed and stayed longer at the cafeteria. I should have done anything else but wake up Kylo. He’s probably going to demote me. You hang your head in shame.

The door slides open. You straighten up and turn to face the door. Kylo has washed his face, brushed his hair and dressed. He nods his uncovered head signaling for you to enter the room. You step inside and let the door close. He pulls your helmet off with one hand and lays it on his neatly made bed. You keep your eyes downcast in humility.

“I’m not demoting you,” He knocks away your last worry. You blush remembering he can read your mind. 

“Thank you.”

“But you did disobey my orders. I said five o’clock.” 

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to be late,” You lower your head. 

“Oh?” He stands right before you. You didn’t realize how quickly he could move. 

“You didn’t come because you were nervous? Or because you wanted to be seen as dedicated and receive some praise?” He asks. You swallow not sure of how to answer. He leans down to your ear. “Or did you come early so I could fuck you?”

Your cheeks burns. He really heard all of those nervous thoughts too? He wasn’t even awake yet! 

“Are you really _that_ thirsty for my cock?” He chuckles. The query makes the fire in your cheeks spread throughout your body. You want to deny it. You really do. But there is something unnatural about the yearning inside you that keeps drawing you to him and making you want his praise, attention and most definitely his body. You cannot figure it out just as you can’t explain why you get thirsty for water. It is just a need you feel.

“Yes, I am,” You finally answer him. He pulls back from your ear. His lips stay together and his chin wiggles slightly. Those lovely eyes of his focus on your lips. He back away from you and sits in desk chair with his legs spread and his gloved hands on either arm rest. 

“I don’t know if I believe you,” He remarks. You can see him hardening in his pants. He is goading you, you realize. 

“Then let me show you,” You walk to him till you can get down on your knees between his spread legs. You keep your eyes on his as you unzip his pants. You allow your hand to move inside and pull out his hardening appendage. You form your fingers into an unclosed ‘o’ around him. You move up and down slowly making him stiffer. You swirl your thumb on tip and smear his precum around his head. 

Still locked on his eyes, you lower your lips to gently kiss his tip before allowing your tongue to emerge and slowly circle the tip repeatedly. You can hear his breathing growing harder and his nostrils flair. You take his head into your mouth and suck gently. You let your right hand go up and down his shaft so you don’t have to shove all of him in your mouth. Your left hand moves to his balls. With them in hand you fondle them gently. 

“Take it all,” He orders. You move your hands to lay on his lap. You dip your head taking more into your mouth. You come up before trying to go down again. Even at this angle it will be hard to take all of him in. You relax your throat and go until you feel his tip against your uvula. You gag but keep going. With him all in, you pull up. You bob your head slowly each time so you can let him go deep into your throat. His hand goes into your hair. You know his curling gloved fingers are going to ruin your braid. But hearing him moan your name makes you lose all concern for your hair. 

“Faster.” 

You move quicker but that causes you not to take him so deeply. He makes no complaint. In fact, he adds a second hand to your head. You unintentionally allow your teeth to scrape against him earning a displeased hiss. To be more careful you return you mouth only around his tip. Your tongue makes one round around it before his hands yank your head down forcing in deep back into your mouth. He immediately burst. You swallow what you can with him still your mouth. You suck an excess off him as you pull away and swallow that as well. You look up at his rather flushed face. You smile pleased.

“See. I told you,” You snicker. He leans down and puts his hand on your cheek. His thumb rests at the corner of your mouth. Will he kiss you?

“You missed this,” He wipes his thumb up and collects the cum that spilt out the corner of your mouth. We wipes it off in your lips. You lick the salty liquid off your lips then lick his gloved thumb clean. 

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

You both turn your heads to the door. You shoot up from the ground as Kylo quickly shoves himself away. You go to the bed and put your helmet on as Kylo puts on his as well. You stand at attention as Kylo finally goes to the door. He lets it slide open revealing a saluting Lt. Mitaka. 

“What is it?” Kylo snarls. 

“General Hux has called an emergency meeting about Admiral Gatiss,” Lt. Mitaka answers calmly. Kylo pushes Mitaka out of his way and starts storming down the hall. You run to catch up with him but pause briefly to salute Lt. Mitaka.

“What is it?” Kylo snarls. 

“General Hux has called an emergency meeting about Admiral Gatiss,” Lt. Mitaka answers calmly. Kylo pushes Mitaka out of his way and starts storming down the hall. You run to catch up with him but pause briefly to salute Lt. Mitaka. 

You tail Kylo into a conference room where Hux already waits along with the Admiral that had agreed with Admiral Gatiss yesterday. It is evident no one is happy to be up and meeting before five o’clock. 

“What is happening?” Kylo demands to know taking a seat like his cohorts.

“The Marisui people have easily defeated Admiral Gatiss’s men as of early this morning. He has asked for reinforcements,” the present Admiral informs the commander and general.

Big surprise. You roll your eyes beneath your helmet. 

“Did he only take the hundred men?” Kylo asks.

“Yes.” The admiral nods. 

“Should we send more men?” Hux brings up the lives he has some control over. 

“I think we should just bomb them. Then we can have complete control over the mines. We can bring in droids to mine afterward.” The other Admiral gives his plan.

Now it will require at least a thousand men to totally squash their boosted morale. They probably took all our weapons which will replenish the ones they have used. We have to try not to kill many of them as this will leave less workers for the mines. We can always get droids but they won’t know the ways of the mines like the Marisui already do. If they submit there will need to be some negotiation with the Marisui leader. He will be able to convince his people to keep working for the First Order. Did Admiral Gatiss even try some simple diplomacy? That should have been the first question I asked when given the chance to talk. You want to shake your head in disappointed in yourself. 

“No bombing. I’ll take a thousand men with me to Jorta,” Kylo decides. 

“A thousand?” Hux sneers at the number. 

“Yes, a thousand. Their morale is heightened and they more than likely have taken the weapons left with our dead. If we can overwhelm the Marisui and pressure them into not fighting. I will negotiate with their leader so we can keep these miners who know how the mines work unlike any new droids,” Kylo gives a voice to your thoughts. Had he had these thoughts himself or had he read your mind?

“We will alert Admiral Gatiss of your impending arrival,” the older admiral stands and leaves the room. Kylo looks to Hux as he stands up.

“Get the troopers I need,” Kylo gives the order and spins on his heel to exit the room. You go with him. He orders an officer passing by to prepare his command shuttle. The nervous man nods although you are sure that man works in the linguistics department and not the docking bay area. But everyone knows that if Commander Kylo Ren tells you to do something, you better get it done. 

It does not take long for a thousand storm troopers to stand ready in the docking bay. They line the sides of the walkway that leads to Kylo’s command shuttle. You stand a foot behind the leader as he walks the aisle to his ship. You are allowed on his ship along with a few other troopers. The others will have to take other ships to Jorta. You start to sit on one of the benches. Kylo stops before you instead of going to his personal seat. 

“No. You sit by my side,” Kylo’s words stop you from sitting. You move up to the front behind the pilot but next to Kylo. It is strange sitting in a chair not the bench. No speaks or even makes a noise the whole trip to Jorta. Arriving, you are all met with a hail of gunfire from the miners. The ships touch down. The door to the command shuttle lowers. The troopers file out with riot shields. You make sure to stand in front of Kylo as it is your duty to protect him. You hold your blaster ready to shoot anyone who would dare threaten your commander. 

* * *

Many lives are lost but in the end the Marisui people kneel in submission to the First Order. You still stand before Kylo. Your blaster is nearly empty from defending him though he could have defended himself. 

“Bring me your leader,” Kylo orders the Marisui people before turning to find Admiral Gatiss’s ship that sits locked but surrounded but dead troopers. Kylo uses the force to lower the door allowing him access. You turn your head as a pair of troopers escort the leader of the Marisui toward you and Kylo. 

Once all are aboard the ship you see Admiral Gatiss and few officers covered in sweat, smile to Kylo. Admiral Gatiss attempts to greet him with a smile. But he shuts up and turns serious as the leader of Marisui comes into the room. 

“I am Kylo Ren of the First order,” Kylo introduces himself.

“I am Balo, leader of the Marisui and keeper of the Jorta Mines,” he bows his head toward Kylo. 

Calmly and reasonably, Kylo speaks to Balo. You cannot help admiring how explains how there will be no more attacks on Jorta as the First Order will protect them and in return the Marisui will give the majority percent from the mines to the First Order and never betray the First Order. Balo accepts the terms. How could he not? The men exchange a handshake and Balo is dismissed. 

“Well done, sir. I could not have done better myself,” Admiral Gatiss attempts to compliment Kylo. 

“Obviously,” Kylo retorts. 

“I didn’t expect them to rally like that,” Gatiss attempts to excuse his failure. 

“You didn’t expect it? Did she not warn you about this?” Kylo points to you. 

“Surely, I shouldn’t be expected to listen to a trooper,” Gatiss half-laughs. 

“A good leader listens when wise council is given even if it is from a trooper,” Kylo surprises you. He thinks your advice was wise? Your heart flutters.

“You have wasted my time and the First Order’s resources because of your arrogance,” Kylo continues to scold the man who is only superior to him in age. Gatiss’s face grows redder.

“Don’t talk to me like that, boy. I’ve been commanding armies since before you stopped suckling at your mother’s breast,” Gatiss has the audacity to speak that way to Kylo. Kylo holds his hand out and the admiral begins to choke and levitate in the air. 

“You forget your place, Gatiss. I will see to it that you are demoted so far you will have to even salute cadets in training,” Kylo releases Gatiss who falls to the ground with a loud thud. Kylo turns his back to the gasping man pleased with himself. You begin to turn but notice Gatiss grasping at his hip. He pulls a small gun out. 

_**Pew**_.

You fire a single blast that leaves Gatiss limp on the floor with a smoking hole in his head. Kylo spins around and sees the dead admiral with a gun in his hand. Kylo’s attention goes to you. 

“Let’s go,” He orders. You do as you’re told. You both return to the command shuttle. All are rather boisterous in the success of the mission even the pilots. Only you and Kylo sit silently. You just killed an admiral. That is a big no-no for troopers. But he was trying to kill Kylo. You didn’t think about his rank until now. Surely, you won’t be in trouble. You did save Kylo’s life. 

“You will not be punished,” Kylo’s whisper is slightly distorted by his mask. Relief washes over you. 

Arriving back to Starkiller Base, Kylo goes straight to a meeting with the Hux and the other Admiral. He explains the success of the mission and the untimely death of Admiral Gatiss. 

“She shot Gatiss?” the Admiral stands appalled.

“She was doing her duty. He was attempting to kill me,” Kylo defends you as you stand against the wall. 

“She didn’t have to kill him. A simple disarming would have sufficed,” Gatiss’s defender continues. 

“You think someone who attempts to murder his superior should be spared?” Kylo inquires. The older man gulps knowing it will be better to not answer.

“I think what Admiral Hoit is concerned about is the fact a trooper is the one who shot the Admiral. It isn’t something often done,” Hux tries to explain.

“She is my personal guard. No one who is a threat to me is too high in station for her to kill,” Kylo declares. Your smile comes knowing he has successfully defended you. Kylo stands and goes to the door. You both leave. You don’t say a word or ask where you are going. You are content just to be by his side.

“You’ve saved my life again,” He starts talking to you as you walk an empty hall.

“It is my duty,” You try to remain humble.

“Still…you should be rewarded.”

“Rewarded?” You repeat the almost foreign word. You find you two have reached his quarters. 

“Yes, rewarded,” he presses a button, the door slides open. He enters as do you. What sort of reward would he give you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any kinks or fetishes they might want to see in this, let me know. I might include it :)


	9. Rewarded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for the kudos and comments! Special shoutout of gratitude to Angelxofxmusicxx. Thank you for your wonderful suggestion for this chapter.   
> I hope you all enjoy!!! :D

Chapter 9

Alone with Kylo in his quarters, you stand unsure of what sort of reward he intends to give you. Punishments are a little easier to guess as it always ends with a sexual act-which you do not mind at all. You think of the last time you saved his life on Hoth. After that time, he gave you your name and a promotion. What would he give you now? 

“What would you like as your reward?” he startles you with the query. 

“What would I like as a reward?” You are taken aback. 

“Yes. Tell me. Whatever it is I will give…as long as it is within reason,” He adds.

“Anything I want?” You almost squeal at the sudden power given to you. 

“Yes,” You can hear slight aggravation in his voice at your only question answers. 

“Please, allow me a moment to think,” You request then pause, “Could you let me have my mind to myself?”  
Kylo stays silent but nods. Feeling safe to think, you do so.

What do I want within reason for him to give me? I have a name. I have a great position that keeps me at his side. I really don’t need anything…well, except him inside me. But I can’t just ask for sex. Can I? 

No! I should ask for something else. I wonder if he would get me the last two copies of the Kade Genti comic? No. He would not do that. He really seems to dislike it. I could ask to be sent to Naboo. Their lights festival will be happening soon. But that could mean separating me from him which I do not want to do. 

This is so hard. I shouldn’t ask for sex or Naboo. I cannot dare to ask about the comics. It’d be so much easier if he just chose it. 

“Have you decided?” He speaks.

“I have decided…” You draw the words out then stop. He does not move and you can’t even hear him breathe as he waits for you to finish. 

“I have decided I want you to pick my reward,” You give him the power back. He walks right past you and to the door. 

“Stay in here,” He orders and opens the door. He leaves without another word. 

“Did he really just leave me in here?” You ask aloud. You take off your helmet allowing yourself to breathe in some air that does not smell like your own sweat. You drop the head covering to the floor before pulling off your gloves and letting them fall. You wipe the sweat in your palms onto you uniform. Bored, you let your eyes wander around.  
The room is just as he left it this morning. The bed is made and the desk has been cleaned up since last night. The chair where he sat as you blew him has not moved either. Everything is in its place except the drawer on the desk is slightly open. 

“He’d want that closed,” You start for the desk. You grab the handle of the drawer prepared to shove it back in to place. 

I wonder what is in here? Probably some boring strategic plans. But maybe something else. Maybe something about that force he mentioned. Either way it isn’t my business to know. But he isn’t here…You slowly and cautiously begin to open the drawer. Inside lay papers. You frown. It is just what you first thought. Boring military plans. 

“Wait.” You tell yourself noting the something much akin to the skin of lizard. Moving aside the paper you uncover a book. A thick white cloth overflows from inside. 

“Cosmos Sutra?” You read the title. You open the book to where the cloth is. You blush seeing the graphic images of persons in very compromising positions. You redden even more seeing the cloth is not an ordinary cloth. In fact, it is the pair of panties Kylo stole from you. You snap the book shut and shove it back into the drawer. You cover it with the papers just like how you found it. You close the drawer all the way. 

It is a good thing you put it away when you did for the front door slides open. You throw your hands behind your back as Kylo comes inside. A droid follows him with a covered tray. It lays it on the desk next to you before rolling out. 

“What is this?” You ask but do not touch the cover. Kylo comes and lifts it. Your mouth waters seeing the spread with so much variety you can only recognize a few of the items like to Jogan fruit and Wol Cabasshew. Never had you seen so much food so readily available in front of you with out a vendor trying to sell it. There are even cups filled with Gatalentan tea. 

“Your reward. It is far better stuff than that gray sludge we had to eat in the cave,” Kylo reminds you of his rather picky preferences toward food. You never thought to ask for real food. 

“I can eat all of this?” You smile over to him. He nods. You start sampling each food group. Your eyes roll back as you experience the different sweet then sour then salty then sweet again tastes on your tongue with eat new food put there. The tea you sip is nearly orgasmic. It is no wonder Kylo hated the rations so much. This is so much better. You glance to Kylo who just stands watching you. 

“Where are my manners? Do you want some?” You hold up a few loose Cyanoberries. He removes his mask and puts it down next to the tray on the desk. He grabs a hold of your wrist. He brings his mouth down and collects the berries into his mouth. His eyes stay focused on you though. The way his tongue and lips press against your palm and the way his eyes don’t leave yours sends an electric pulse through you. Your hunger has changed and no fruit or tea will satisfy it. 

“Kylo,” You softly say his name. 

“Hm?”

“As much as I have enjoyed this, may I ask for another reward?” You swallow after your question. 

“What do you want?”

“Um…well…” Your eyes go every way except to his eyes. 

“Say it.” He encourages. 

“I would like…for you to…fuck me,” You manage to get the request out. 

“You do?” He raises an eyebrow. You turn red. 

“Ah, you do,” He smirks. He steps up to you and with a little twitch of his hand your armor falls off. He uses his hands to grab the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head.

Your heart beat quickens. 

“Go lay on the bed,” He points to his bed. 

“But I still have my pants on,” You point down. He keeps his finger pointed. You go. You climb on and lay on the bed. He removes his outer layers and his gloves and boots before he comes to the bed. He grabs one of your legs and pulls it off. He throws it over his shoulder. He repeats this with your other boot. His long fingers hook into the waistband of your pants. He starts to pull them but does ever so slowly. 

Why is taking so long? Just rip them off. You grow impatient. You put your hands on his and try to push them down. He swats at your hands. They fly up above your head and against the headboard as if tied with ropes. You try to pull them down but it is no use. You huff in displeasure. 

“Patience,” He finally gets them to your knees. He sluggishly pulls them off your legs. 

Now just the panties are left. You eagerly wait for him to take them. Instead he sits and stares at them as if he were contemplating the reason for life or something. You wiggle uncomfortably. You can’t move your hands and he is just sitting there looking at you. It’s torture. How is this a reward?  
He starts to chuckle to himself. He nods himself and regains his smirk. 

“What?” Your brows furrow. He gets off the bed and grabs his cowl. He comes back to you as he spins it tightly. He sits down next to you and begins to tie it around your eyes. 

“Wait! What are you doing?” You wish you could pull your hands down to stop him. He just chuckles more as he blinds you. You feel his weight move off the bed then return but lower by your legs. You jump feeling his hands on your things. They slide down toward your underwear. One of his fingers pushes against your covered sex. He drags his finger down then up your slit. You squirm as you begin to moisten your underwear and his finger through the fabric. One of his hands grabs where the crotch lining begins as the other grabs where it end. He presses the fabric down between your lips then begins moving them back and forth against your clit. You try to move your hips oppositely to his movements to get more friction. Your teeth sink into your lower lip as you feel little bursts of pleasure.

“You’re getting so wet,” You hear Kylo comment and stop his movements. He pulls away your underwear. You don’t know where they go as you cannot see. He grabs you by the back of your knees and left them up making your body bend together. He places the atop what you believe are his shoulders. You feel his warm breath against your wet place. You feel him spread your sex open. 

What is he going to do? 

“Ah,” You shudder feeling his lush lips press against your clit. His tongue exits his lips and begins to taste every part of your cunt. He lazily drags his tongue against you making you squirm with pleasure. His tongue finds its way into your hole. His index and middle finger rub the sides of your swelling clit.

“Kylo. Oh, it feels so good. Oh,” You moan. He doesn’t answer but keeps eating away. You start bucking your hips slightly feeling yourself coming closer and closer to your end. He puts a hand on your pelvis to keep you still. 

“Kylo, I’m going to-I’m going to-” You can’t finish the sentence before you orgasm. Your body relaxes but you feel and hear him lapping up your juices. He lowers you back down onto the bed. He holds your knees down and apart. You breathe heavily. 

“Better,” he mumbles.

“What?” You can barely hear over your own breath. You feel his presence over you and his wet mouth at your ear. 

“You taste better than Gatalentan tea,” He whispers clearly then puts his mouth on yours. His tongue delves into your mouth. It is strange tasting yourself on his tongue. You cannot agree on his statement but if he thinks so then so be it. He may drink you whenever he wishes. 

Kylo pulls away and your feel the wind against you as he pulls off his shirt. You hear him unzip his pants, some shuffle then the thud of his boots and pants against the floor. You feel one of his hands on your inner thigh. You spread them further apart. He positions himself at your entrance and enters. You feel your hands release from above your head as he pulls you up and against him. Your arms go around his thick neck and broad shoulders as you sit fully atop his erect self in his lap. Your legs go around his lower back. His arms around your back and his legs have crossed beneath you. He begins rocking his hips which stirs his cock deep with in you. You naturally grind hips around and around. Your tips happily rub against his smooth chest. His mouth showers your cheeks, neck and ears with kisses and nips. He hums your name repeatedly. With him so close you want to take off your make-shift blindfold. Your hand starts up to grab it. He grabs your wrist preventing you. 

“What are you doing?” He asks breathily. 

“I want to see you,” You answer. 

“Then ask.”

“Please, let me see you.”

“Why do you want to see me?” 

“Because I feel more complete seeing your face. And when I look you in the eyes, I feel like we are totally alone in the universe,” You confess.

He pauses all movements. Did you say too much?

He pulls the fabric from your eyes. His face comes before yours. His brown eyes have never seemed so close to yours. The light of his eyes is a welcome sight in comparison to the darkness. You kiss him and hold the back of his head tightly so he cannot pull away. His hands go into your hair and pulls it out the braid there. Its slightly painful but you don’t care. His hips being rocking again and you grind again. With his hand cradling the back of your skull he lays you down on your back. Your legs stay wrapped around him keeping everything from your lower back and down up in the air. You don’t want his cock to ever leave the inside of you. He is able to thrust better this way however. Somehow, he goes deeper and deeper in you. Before you can even say his name again your whole body burst in ecstasy. He continues to rock himself into you until he too finishes. He pulls out and lays down next you. 

A reward indeed. You turn on your side and look at him. He always looks so good post-sex. You could stare at him all night but your happy thoughts falter remembering his words. “Don’t expect me to hold you every time we fuck.” He had been true to his word. He didn’t hold you last night. Dread comes over you. Would he not hold you tonight either?

“Kylo,” You call him softly. He looks over to you.

“I know I shouldn’t ask but tonight…could I…stay with you?” You request. He looks away from you and sighs. 

“Fine. Just for tonight.” His agreeance makes you beam. You both lay in silence. You are not the least bit sleepy. You can tell by his open eyes he is not either. Your eyes wander to his distant arm. You see he still has some scars on it from the Wampa though he no longer wears a bandage. 

“How is your arm?” You ask after it.

“It’s fine. The doctor said had you not cleaned out my wound, I could have developed an infection and lost my arm. Now, I just have to put some bacta ointment on it every day,” he answers. 

“Bacta ointment! That’s good stuff. I’ve had to use it a lot. I’ve had to use it on here and here and here and here.” You sit up and begin pointing to various spot across your body. Kylo sits up and watches where your fingers go. 

“I see no scars,” He remarks. 

“That’s all thanks to the bacta. You should be left with minimal scarring if you have any. I mean the only place it didn’t work seamlessly was here,” You lift your hair to show a thin scar at the base of hairline on your neck. You keep your back to him as you show him. You feel his thumb go across it. 

“What is this from?”

“Oh, well, we were doing some desert training on an outer rim planet- Tatooine. I got separated from the group and somehow managed to get captured by some Tusken Raiders. They really did not like me. Those three days were…torture. Then one of the nights when I got to get some sleep, one of the women really liked my hair. So, she tried to scalp me. She cut me pretty deeply but I was able to overpower her, kill her and escape. I passed out from the blood loss in some town. Luckily found by my fellow cadets. The medical bots sewed me up and treated my other injuries. But no amount of bacta will fully take away the scar,” You recount the horrid adventure all the while holding up your hair. His thumb traces the scar again. 

“I guess it is good to have a reminder of past failures so we don’t repeat them.”

“This isn’t a mark of failure. It is sign of your victory. You survived Tusken Raiders and the desert all on your own. This is badge of honor.” Your breath catches in your throat when you feel his lips on the scar. You feel your skin start to prickle. He removes his lips and places them lower on the back of your neck. You feel his arm go around your waist and pull you closer. His hands then go to your breasts as he continues to kiss your neck. He massages your breasts but makes sure to tweak your nipples as well. You try to keep your hair up but you move it to the side of your neck where his mouth isn’t. You feel his member stiffen against you. He leans forward sending you onto your hands and knees at the foot of the bed. You arch your back allowing him to kiss a down your spine. He stops half way before going back up. He takes one of his hands away for you chest to help himself inside you. He returns his hand as he starts to pulls his cock in and out of you.   
Even though you can’t see the face you love so much, the deep and fullness he gives you like this is most satisfying. The twists he gives your peaks sends more waves of delight through you. His kisses burn your skin. You wish they would burn into your skin and scar it. You easily feel your orgasm coming. His hand shifting from your left breast to your clit hurries it. You grip the sheets and call out his name as you grow closer. He pants your name. 

Kylo moves his hands and puts them under the back of your knees. Spreading your legs further apart he leans back. You push up so you can go with him. Your back leans against his chest as he keeps your knees apart in the air and he thrusts into you. He lays down with you still on his chest. Your twist your head so your lips can meet his. His hands leave your knees. One goes back to your clit and the other goes to your breast. 

Your third orgasm hits leaving you trembling on him. He reaches his end soon as well. His strong arms keep you in place. You move your head slightly to better see his face. He closes his eyes as he regulates his breaths. 

He turns onto his side sending you onto your side as well but in his arms. Kylo holds you against him but makes no attempt to speak. You don’t either. You solely enjoy the feeling of being in his arms. You close your eyes peacefully. 

* * *

Your eyes open to darkness. Kylo no longer holds you but he had turned his back to you. You also finds blanket now covers the both of you. You figure you both fell asleep but he covered you both. You smile till the urge in your pelvis reminds you why you woke.

You manage to slip out of Kylo’s bed. With one eye open you attempt to locate the bathroom. You stagger on the way. You yawn as you press a button hoping for entry to the bathroom. The slides open and you enter rubbing your eyes. You open them widely hearing the door shut behind you.

“This isn’t the bathroom,” You state the obvious standing in the dark room where only some faint windows on the ceiling give light. You see a black leather chair and in front of it a sort of altar. Coming closer you find a mangled mask. 

“What is this?” You reach out to it. As your hand comes closer you hear a heavy breathing that is not yours. You look behind you but no one is there.

Your attention goes back to the helmet. You stretch your fingers to it again. Your fingertips barely graze the distorted metal. You gasp feeling yourself ripping away into a light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, feel free to leave any suggestions for kinks or whatever in intimate scenes. I may use them! ;) Stay healthy, safe and tuned in for more!


	10. Resolve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks again for the comments and kudos! They make me live! Haha Please enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 10

You open your eyes. You are surrounded by darkness. You see nothing but feel a chill. You hear something breathing deeply and slowly. 

“Who is there?” You ask the darkness. 

A bright red light flashes on in the darkness. It hums loudly. You know it’s a lightsaber, but it isn’t like Kylo’s. It has a single blade and does not crackle like Kylo’s. The light gives visibility to the holder. 

You cover your mouth seeing a tall and imposing creature in all black. He wears a helmet and a mask with large circular glass eyes. It is far more fearsome than the one Kylo wear. This being is what breathes so heavily. You realize you failed to recognize the destroyed helmet to be that of this man, Darth Vader. You tremble.   
Vader walks toward you his saber still lit in his hand. You are paralyzed. You cannot flee from him. You feel tears rolling down your cheeks. He will kill you and you can do nothing to stop it. You can’t even open your mouth to beg for your life. 

Men appear around you. They wear gray and black clothes and strange white helmets only atop their heads. They hold guns.

“Open fire!” One yells. They begin shooting but Vader deflects the blasts. Some return to the shooters around you. He slices through some with his blade and other he throws about with simple movements of his hand. They all scream when they die. 

Vader reaches you. Your heart pounds violently in your chest as he holds his lightsaber toward you. The light is blinding. He raises it to strike. 

“No!” You hold out your hand with your eyes closed. You hear a crackling sound instead of a hum. You open your eyes. The blade is not Vader’s. It is Kylo’s. It shakes as it hovers above your hand. Vader is gone. In his stead is Kylo fully dressed but his face is different. There is a heinous scar going down the right side of his face. 

Like resurfacing from an ocean, you gasp for air. You are once again in the secret room. Your fingers are still on the disfigured helmet. You remove them immediately and breathe deeply. You back away slowly from Vader’s helmet. You open the door and slip out. You look to the bed. You relax seeing Kylo still asleep in the bed. You shuffle over and go into the right room to relieve yourself. 

The image of Kylo’s face marred does not leave your mind. You stand at his sink washing your hands when you hear the sound of the door sliding open. You see Kylo there in the doorway. You start to smile in relief seeing his face is not marred but you lose it seeing the fury on his face. 

“Kylo-” You start.

“Did you go in the other room?” He cuts you off and starts walking toward you. 

“How do you know?”

“I can sense it.”

“Well, I got confused on my way into here. I didn’t mean to-”

“And you thought you could just go through my things?” He interrupts you again as he reaches you. His lips are tightly pursed and his eyebrows almost gathered together at his nose.

“No,” You shake your head. He holds up Darth Vader’s helmet. You gulp seeing the item again. 

“You touched it. Didn’t you?” He does not look up. 

“Only for a moment.”

Your body is thrown across the room and against the shower’s door. Your back immediately aches and you neck tightens in his force hold. He puts the helmet down and walks toward you with his hand out toward you. He lets his hand go around your neck. He brings his face to yours. He has grown hideous in his anger. Even without the scar he looks like what you saw in the vision.

“Just because I fuck you does not mean you can do whatever you want with my things.” he snarls in your face and squeezes your throat harder.

“I’m sorry-” You choke out an apology. He releases you. Your hands go to rub your sore neck.

“Get out!” He points to the door.

“Kylo-”

“Get out now!” His force sends you out of the bathroom. You start gathering your clothes. You try to dress but he exits the bathroom. 

“Get out!” He yells again. You grab your armor and helmet and run from the room. You pant outside the room. You slowly start walking the dark, unoccupied halls with your armor in your arms. Tears prick your eyes. You had had such a wonderful night with Kylo. But now it is all ruined because you went into the wrong room. 

“FN-1971.” You stop hearing your number. You look down the hall you are passing. You see FN-1226 stands there alone. 

“Two-Six,” You wipe away the tears and straighten up when you see her. She looks both ways before she comes to your side and grabs your arm. She shoves you into the nearest closet. 

“What are you doing?” Two-Six takes off her helmet. 

“I’m just going back to my dorm. I just did some training and my armor got me all sweaty so I took it off,” You lie about the last part. She pulls your arms down making you drop your armor. 

“You can’t fool me, Seven-One. Your pants are on backwards and your shirt is inside out. Your hair is a wreck. I can see marks on your neck that are not from combat. I can even smell a man on you,” Two-Six crosses her arms as she points out the evidence. “I bet if I did a full body inspection, I’d find semen.”

You know she would be right. You begin to sweat. What will she do? She herself was turned in for this. Would she make you suffer reconditioning like her? You know she should. She is supposed to keep you accountable as you are to keep her. But when the investigation came about her and FN-0878 you said nothing. You pretended to know nothing. Still she will turn you in for fraternization. If they reconditioned her properly then out of loyalty to the Order she will.

You will be punished alone. You would not be able to claim Kylo as your partner. He is most superior and no one would believe you. He would not claim or protect you. Especially right now after you upset him so. 

“Seven-One,” Two-Six draws her attention back to her. 

“Are you going to turn me into Captain Phasma?” 

Two-Six grabs your shoulder gently like she used to when you would train and she would give you advice. It is a comforting hold but you still dread her words.

“You’re my only friend, Seven-One,” She smiles. “You’re the only one who didn’t reveal the truth about me and Seven-Eight. You’re the only one who greeted me like a person when I returned. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

There is some ease that comes about you with her kind words. You smile back to her. Her face grows serious again. 

“But you cannot go down this path. Surely, you know the First Order is to be our only love. Friendship is acceptable but never love or sex,” She tightens her hold on your shoulders.

“I know.” 

“So, tell whoever this guy is that you can’t keep doing this. It will end badly for both of you.”

“I’m not exactly able to give him orders,” You murmur.

“It is not another trooper then?” Two-Six raises an eyebrow. 

“No,” Your eyes lower themselves. 

“Who is it? An officer?” She tries to guess. You shrug your shoulders. Kylo is the top officer. But you still can’t tell her.

“Is he forcing you to have sex? Is that why you were crying?” She moves her hands to your wet cheeks. You are taken back by her inquiry. Kylo hasn’t forced you to have sex. You felt a bit compelled the first time as he was your superior but you still consented. Every time since then you have been far more than consenting. 

“If he has, we can have him court marshalled for abuse of power and rape,” She continues. 

“It’s always been consensual. I was just crying because we…had a fight.”

“Ah. But that is good. Then maybe he will have lost interest and not want you anymore.”

You know she means this to be good but a pain come to your chest at the thought that Kylo will not want you anymore. 

“If he does still want you, you must reject him. It does not matter if he is an officer. You will be the one hurt the most.”

“I understand, Two-Six. Thank you.”

Two-Six removes her hands from you. She picks up her helmet. 

“I’ll stand outside so you can get dressed properly,” Two-Six puts on her helmet and walks out of the closet. You take off your clothes to put them back on correctly. 

I don’t want to end things with Kylo, but Two-Six is right. I will be the one hurt the most. He can do whatever he pleases and suffer no consequence. If anyone else had found me instead of Two-Six, I would be reported and sent away if not executed. But Kylo might not even want me anymore. He was so furious at me. He’ll probably demote me in the morning and never touch me again. But it would be for the best, right? I would be safe. You start to cry more at these thoughts. 

“Pull yourself together,” You slap yourself. 

If Kylo doesn’t want me then good. I can go back to focusing on being the best trooper in the First Order. In fact, I should focus on that instead of him. He is a moody, tantrum throwing jerk who almost strangled me for accidentally going into the wrong room. And I apologized for it too! I shouldn’t even want to be wanted by a guy like that! Yeah. If he does make any attempt at physicality then I will reject him like Two-Six said. I’ll keep it professional and I’ll keep myself safe. Besides I know how to make myself cum. I don’t need him or his big dumb cock! 

Fueled with resolve you finish dressing. You exit the closet and find Two-Six still there. You thank her and you part ways. You are ready for this coming day. You will be prompt, professional, and purposefully dutiful. You won’t give a damn about that asshat Kylo Ren. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a bit short but I hope you enjoyed it. I will make sure the next is not as short.


	11. The Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry about the delay in the update. My internet decided to take a break from working. But it is finally back on! Please, enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 11

You have five minutes before you need to be at Kylo’s door. You walk the hall toward it and take deep breathes beneath your helmet. You know you must be strong. He can read your mind afterall so you must control your thoughts. Do not think of your anger that is directed toward him. Don’t think of that vision you had. Don’t think about him and his body. Don’t you dare think about how amazing all the sex was last night and the closeness you felt. No. You must think of him as FN-3181. Yes, he is not Kylo. He is FN-3181. You must treat him as you do FN-3181.

“Seven-One!” You hear your nickname. You stop and turn. You beams seeing Eight-Seven rushing toward you. With no one around you hug him. You two quickly let go of each other. You know getting caught will not be ideal.

“I haven’t seen you in so long. I heard Kylo Ren tore your body apart then replace most of it with droid parts to make you into the perfect killing guard,” Eight-Seven takes off his helmet as reveals the big new rumor. You laugh. 

“No. I’m very much still human. See,” You take off your own helmet showing your face.

“Yes, I see. But how in the world have you become his body guard?” 

“Long story short I saved his life. Twice now. But what about you? I heard you cleared out those bats from the tunnels. That must have been hell.”

“It was…interesting. But I’m on sanitation duty, again,” He sighs. 

“I heard. You really need to stop upsetting your superiors, Eight-Seven,” You chuckle. 

“Yeah. Well, at least I’m learning the ins and outs of this place. Also, I’m learning some weird stuff about the people at this base.”

“Oh! Like what?” You lean in excitedly. 

“Did you know General Hux has a cat?”

“What?”

“Yes. Her name is Millicent and I’ve caught her sleeping in General’s Hux’s hat before while I was cleaning.”

“How strange! What does she look like?” 

“She’s all ginger looking and has a pointed face. Like Hux,” He answers making you both laugh. 

“I would love to see her.”

“Pretend to be in sanitation with me and I’ll take you to Hux’s quarters.”

“I would if I could. But I have to guard our commander till he dismisses me,” You say more for yourself to remind you of your place than for Eight-Seven’s sake.

“Ah. Well, if he dismisses you early, then find me.”

“Sur-”

“FN-1971.” The cold, mechanical voice belongs to no one else but Kylo Ren. You and Eight-Seven throw on your helmets before you spin around and salute the commander. Kylo turns his masked face toward Eight-Seven.

“Go,” Kylo points and Eight-Seven walks away. His attention goes back to you.

“You are late,” He states. You look to the time keeper on your wrist. 

“Actually, sir, it’s four fifty-nine now. I have one more minute,” You correct him just as you would FN-3181. You see his hand ball into a fist. You probably should have held your tongue but he did just interrupt your conversation with Eight-Seven.

“But I am ready to serve now,” You speak to appease him.

He turns around and starts off. You do your duty and follow him. You make sure to pay attention to where he goes as to not fall behind. Unlike the exciting day before, Kylo has no emergency meetings with an admiral and General Hux. Instead he walks from one end up the base to the other. He stops on occasion to give orders to a lower officer. He never speaks to you though. You don’t mind. You’re too busy not thinking about him.

Kylo stops again and speaks with a Major. You eyeball the surrounding hall. Your eyes land on FN-2187. He must have been assigned to mop over on this side of the base. You smile seeing your friend work diligently as he does with every task he is assigned. He momentarily glances at you and goes back to work. Realizing he sees you, Eight-Seven turns and waves at you. You can see his smile in your mind’s eyes. Warmth spreads over you. You nod your head toward him since you know waving would be too big of a gesture. 

Kylo stops talking and starts walking. You give a tiny wave to Eight-Seven as you move away. He waves once more. Kylo struts through the hall till he reaches a conference room. You stand along the wall as Kylo takes a seat. The room is otherwise empty. You don’t care to speak to Kylo.

“You’ve been uncharacteristically quiet this morning,” Kylo comments. 

“I have not been spoken to so I have not spoken,” You reason.

“Your mind has been quiet as well.”

“Stormtroopers should not think too much. It distracts us from our duty,” You remember what one of your trainers told you years ago. You never really agreed with that piece of “wisdom”.

“Hm.”

The silence returns.

“I’m not mad at you anymore,” He informs you.

“Okay...” You have no idea what to do with this information.

“Are you still afraid of me now?” His tone is almost gentle. 

“Afraid? I’m not afraid of you, Kylo. I was scared for a moment but my fear has long since changed.” You clarify. 

“Are you _mad_ at me?” He stands up offended that you would feel that sort of emotion toward him.

“Yes. I am.”

“Why?”

“Why? You tried to strangle me over an accident,” You take a few steps toward him.

“I was disciplining you as I have done before,” He refers to the previous instances of his breath control over you.

“This was different. You didn’t want to discipline me last night. You wanted to hurt me. Hell, you may have even wanted to kill me and all because I grazed that old helmet,” You shake your head.

“I’ve never wanted to kill you,” the statement surprises you considering the first time he fingered you started with him igniting his lightsaber to possibly kill you. Had he not intended to kill you then either?

“But, you should not have gone in that room,” He still places the blame of it all on you. 

“I was barely awake and the doors were right next to each other. It was an honest mistake,” You defend your actions. 

“Well, now you know not to repeat that mistake,” he says in a matter-of-fact way. 

“Yes, I do. I also know now that I don’t want to have sex with you anymore.”

“Oh?” Surprise is evident in his voice.

“I can get sent to deep reconditioning or get executed if I get caught having a sexual relationship with someone. Last night, only made me realize that sex with you might not be worth risking it all. So, I’m ending this and returning to a life of celibacy,” Callous and flippant are the tones you hope come across. 

Kylo just stands motionless and silent. Then you hear it, a little chuckle from behind the mask.

“What is funny?”

“You being celibate.”

“How is that funny? I lived as celibate virgin before I met you. I can return to that lifestyle.”

“Can you? Ever since I fingered you, you are constantly wanting me. You’ll never be able to go back to your old ways.”

“I can and I will!” You declare stomping your foot.

“You can’t go twenty-four hours without wanting or thinking about my cock.” You can just envision a smug smirk beneath this mask.

“You flatter yourself. I hardly ever have your little friend on my mind.” You nod down to his crotch. 

“Little?”

“Yes, _little_ ,” You draw out the adjective that so apparently bothers him. 

“You think this is little?” He easily pulls out his huge and hard dick. The sight stirs something between your legs. You want to curse your involuntarily reaction. 

“Yes, very little,” You only want to spite him now. 

“Then you won’t feel a thing,” He turns you around and forcing you down face first on the table. You feel him unbuckle your utility belt and force down your pants leaving you totally exposed to him. You know you should push him away or at least protest his actions but not so deep down you want him to continue and prove he still wants you despite your arguing. He rams his cock into you, filling you up. He is so big but you can’t say that. 

“Not so small now, is it?” he pulls out only to thrust back inside you 

“Is it even in?” You taunt him. This makes him thrust harder. His hands go to your hips and grasp them so tightly you know you’ll have bruises. The leather of his gloves rubs your skin raw.

He moves fast and hard. You can barely breathe from the speed and intensity of his movements. You scratch at the table to find some sort of stability but there is none. 

“Look at you. You’re struggling to handle my giant cock,” He praises himself, irritating you more.

“It’s like being stuck with a tiny needle,” You retort. He slaps you ass eliciting a yelp from you. You grit your teeth feeling your climax coming closer.

“You’re going to cum, aren’t you? You’re going to cum on my big cock,” He sneers. You can’t speak. He is right but you won’t give him the verbal confirmation.

“Say it. Say you’re going to cum on my big cock,” He orders. You shake your head. 

“Say it.” He slaps your ass again. You refuse to speak. He gives another slap.

“Say it!” He roars. It’s too late to speak. You feel the burst of pleasure ripple through you. You go limp on the table nearly blinded by the orgasm. He finishes inside as he likes. He lays himself on top of you. His weight keeps you down. His breathing is labored as is yours. 

“See, you’re always wanting me,” He finally rises from your body and removes himself. You feel the cum dripping down your thighs. You look over your shoulder as he puts himself back into his pants.

“Me? I made no implication that I wanted you to shove that pitiful thing inside me. You’re not one who can’t stop yourself,” You push yourself up from the table. 

“Your body seemed more than happy with the outcome,” He nods to your overflowing lower half. You immediately pull up your coverings.

“This changes nothing. I don’t want to have sex with you anymore. I want to be a proper trooper who does not have to fear the repercussions of sex,” You start replacing the pieces of your lower armor and your utility belt. 

“Fine. If you can go the next twenty-four hours without seeking me for sex or thinking about having sex with me, I will treat you as any other stormtrooper and never touch you again till you ask me,” He promises.

“Really?” The offer is surprising.

“Yes. But if you fail…” He pauses. What sort of horrible punishment would he come up with? 

“If I fail?” You want him to continue so you’ll know what to expect.

“You will be removed from the Stormtrooper program.”

“What?” You feel the blood draining from your face.

“You will be removed from the program. Do we have a deal?” He sticks his hand out to you. You swallow hard.   
One impure thought and I’m out...This is the only life I have ever known. What will happen to me? You must consider your future. You stare at his outstretched hand. 

“You feel failure. Have I made the stakes too high?” He verbally pokes your ego. 

“No. In fact, I think the stakes aren’t high enough,” You want to smack yourself for your sudden bravado.

“Oh? Then what do you suggest to heighten our deal?” He lowers his hand.

“When I easily pass this little test of yours, not only will you treat me as a trooper and not touch me without my asking, you will apologize to me for acting like an overacting asshole last night,” Your chest swells at the thought of him begging for your forgiveness. 

“Fine, if that is what you want. But when I win, before you are removed from the program, I will have you assigned to execution duty and have you execute that garbage boy, FN-2187,” His new addition has gone too high.

“Why? He is a promising trooper and he has nothing to do with us. Why would you put his life on the line?” 

“You wanted higher stakes. If you don’t think you will win then…” He trails off of but you can sense his smugness. 

“Fine. Deal,” You stick your hand out to him 

He takes it and shakes it.

“I look forward to seeing you on your knees,” You jeer. He chuckles.

“Goodluck, Sweetheart,” He snorts and frees your hand.

Sweetheart? Although it is said in a mocking tone, it still makes you blush to hear him call you any sort of term of endearment.  
The door slides open and General Hux enters. You move away from the table to return to the wall. As Hux comes in you begin to focus your mind on anyone and anything other than Kylo.

You notice Hux is missing his hat again. You assume Millicent has taken it captive. Many important officers follow General Hux in as well as a few lesser officers. The superiors all take their seats around the long rectangle table. The lesser stand. All talk among themselves. You notice Lt. Mitaka among them. He comes and stands next to you. 

“Lieutenant,” You greet him.

“FN-1971,” He nods to you. “I am glad to see you are not one of the ones who fell on Jorta.”

“I am glad as well.”

“I heard you were the one who shot, Admiral Gatiss,” his tone grows softer.

“He was going to shoot Commander Ren,” You give your excuse. He gives a little smile showing off his dimples. 

Oh, my. I forgot about those. 

“Whatever the reason, thank you. He was an ass,” he whispers. 

“He was,” You snicker in agreement. 

Silence falls on the room as Kylo stands. All eyes stay on him as he begins the meeting. He goes on and on about a resistance base. As much as you know you should pay attention and think on these details and strategies he presents, but paying him attention will only make you think about him and who knows where your thoughts can go?   
Distract yourself. Distract yourself. You let your eyes move around the room in search for something else. They focus on Lt. Mitaka. Your eyes run up and down him.  
He’s cut his hair. It is very professional. I like it. Of course, it’s not much fun running your fingers through short hair. Long hair like Kylo’s is - You stop yourself. You will not think about Kylo. Period.

Lt. Mitaka’s hair is the perfect length it should be. It looks very nice and draws more attention to his face; his very nice, dimpled cheek face. Oh, and he has a cleft in his chin. I’ve never noticed that before. It’s very…masculine. I was right to call him attractive in front of KC-1886. Of course, I won’t admit that to her again. Then the rumor will be that I’m some cyborg bodyguard fucking Lt. Mitaka. You mentally laugh. 

“I thought you wanted to be celibate. Now you want to fuck Mitaka?” Kylo’s voice pierces your mind. Your eyes go to him. He keeps on talking but you feel his eyes on you despite them still being covered. 

I don’t want to fuck Lt. Mitaka. I just like to look at him. He is very attractive and doesn’t cover up his face which makes it easier for me to admire him. You really shouldn’t care about who I find attractive. Jealousy is a very unattractive trait. You send your mental message with a smirk.

The standing of the officers signals the end of the meeting. You watch the many officers file out as does Lt. Mitaka. Kylo stays standing at the table until all are gone but the two of you. 

“I am not jealous of anyone, especially that sniveling lieutenant,” He makes his way toward you and speaks aloud now.

“Whatever you say, sir,” You remain unconvinced.

“I am not,” His hand balls up into a fist and he turns from you to leave the room. You have to control yourself from giggling at his almost childish protest. This test may be more fun than you thought. 


	12. Kessel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you are all safe and healthy. Thank you so much for the great comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 12

The problem with your underwear and self being full of Kylo’s cum and having to keep working is that things grow physically uncomfortable rather quickly. Walking behind Kylo, you cringe at the feeling of the sticky fluids squishing all over your lower region. It’s like walking around in a soiled diaper. You cannot let yourself dwell on it though as it will make you think of Kylo’s cum and how it got there which will lead to the loss of your deal and the loss of Eight-Seven’s life. You take a deep breath. 

“Commander Ren,” You call to your superior. 

“What?”

“Could you inform me what your schedule is for today so I may be better prepared in my duties?” You inquire coming closer to his side. 

“We are leaving the base,” He replies. 

“Leaving! When?” 

“Now. One of those majors is preparing it for us,” He keeps his pace quick. You realize that you should have paid more attention to his other conversations. 

“Ah. Do we have any time before we leave to…prepare?” You hope. 

“No. We are going now.” He presses the button for the elevator. 

“Do I at least have time to go to the bathroom?” You step inside with him. 

“How many times do you need to go to bathroom?” You know he must be rolling his eyes. 

“It is perfectly normal to go several times a day. It means I have healthy kidneys,” You state as a matter of fact.

“Tch. You can go once we reach the docking bay,” He grants his permission. You smile and thank him. The door opens and you both quickly exit. You dart into the bathroom. In the stall you look down at the mess there. 

I don’t have enough tie to clean all of this. I guess I will go commando. You decide. You expel the content of your bladder just in case before ripping your underwear and taking them off without having to take off your pants. You clean yourself as quickly as possible before exiting the stall with your soiled underwear in hand. You throw them into the trash before washing off your hands. Though your clothing is thick there is an airiness of being pantie-less. You hope no one notices. You recover your hands only to remember you left your blaster in the stall. You grab it and exit.

Kylo did not wait for you. Instead you see him in the distance at a TIE/vn Silencer. You approach the ship with the four long, sharp points. They are rather rare but you are not surprised that Kylo has one. Coming closer you can see the cockpit through the reddish glass. It only has a seat for the pilot. 

“Are you taking this one and not your command shuttle?” You tilt your head to the side. Why take a fighting one-man ship to leave base if one is not going to fight?

“It is too bulky and will require too many people. We will take this,” He starts up the ship toward the open hatch at the top. 

“But there is only one seat, sir. How will fit in there?” You point out the problem. He does not answer but enters the ship. You follow him up. You look down at him in the cockpit. He takes his seat in the cockpit’s only chair. 

“Come,” He waves at you. 

“Come where?” You look around unsure. 

“Here. You will sit here,” He pats his lap.

“You want me to sit on your lap?” You cannot believe your ears. 

“Yes, hurry up.”

You gulp and slide inside. You notice he spread his long legs and scooted to the back of the seat leaving a little space for you to sit there. You climb into the spot and keep your knees tightly together. Your hands stay on your lap. You try to sit on the edge of the seat so you won’t touch him. 

“Take of your helmet,” He instructs. You do and he grabs it. He tosses it behind him then takes the blaster from your hands to toss in the back as well. His hand goes around your waist and pulls you against him tightly. You hold your breath as you feel him move his head so the chin of his helmet rests next to your temple. His legs come closer and press against you. You can feel his limp but still large member against your outer leg. One of his hands moves to switch on different switches and presses numerous buttons. The hatch closes over you both. His hands go to the main controls and begins to turn the ship around to exit the hangar. 

Facing space, he pushes forward sending you both out into space. The start is rather nice until you notice he is about to put the ship into hyperspeed. Hitting the button, you feel yourself thrown back, Your hands go to grip his thighs and you hold your breath. Coming out of speed you, breathe once more. 

“You don’t like flying, do you?” He removes his helmet and places it in your lap. 

“No, sir,” You shake your head, “I prefer my feet on the solid ground.”

“And you prefer your hands on my thighs.” His remark makes you realize your placement and how close your thumb is to his covered manhood. You remove them quickly as if they were a fire burning you. 

“I didn’t mean to grab them. Sorry.” They return to your lap and rest atop his helmet. You make your eyes face forward toward the millions of stars before you. It is rather beautiful. 

“Where are we going, sir?” You feel the need to ask. 

“Kessel.” 

Stomach dropping, you feel yourself beginning to sweat. Everyone has heard of Kessel. Coaxium and spices are supplied from there off the back of thousands of slaves. Your mind flies back to your training days. 

A hundred pounds of rocks weigh you down as you try to crawl out of the hole. Your hands bled as you grasped the sharp and hot rocks of the cave. You barely made it out. You could barely breathe. As you gasped for air Captain Gork, your group’s trainer, approached you not caring that his boots kicked dust into your struggling lungs. 

“The slaves of Kessel do this ten times a day without fail. If you dare to speak back to me one more time, I will see you are sent to Kessel and be one of their mine slaves,” Captain Gork’s threat made your twelve-year-old self nearly cry in the fear. 

Never did you ever want to go anywhere even near Kessel. Now Kylo is making you go. Was he going to leave you on the planet to be slave since you displeased him? Had the bet this morning been a ruse to give some sort of distraction to keep you from realizing your true fate?

“No.”

“Huh?” Kylo’s single word draws you out of panicked thoughts. 

“I’m not going to leave you a slave on Kessel. You should never be anyone’s slave,” his statement reassures you then he presses his lips against your ear, “Except mine.”

Warmth spreads through your body but you know you should let yourself enjoy the claim he has made on you. You are not to be his. You and he are to be nothing but commander and trooper. But it is hard to deny how nice to feel him all around you and have him call you his. Even if it is as his slave. 

“What is that?” You begin to notice some purple in the distance. 

“That’s the Maw Cluster.” Kylo names it. 

“The Maw Cluster? I know of that. That’s what Han Solo in his Millenium Falcon went through when he did the Kessel run in less than thirteen parsecs!” You excitedly recall the tale of the famed smuggler who still remains a faceless legend to you. You angle your face to see his reaction to your random knowledge. His jaw clenches momentarily then it relaxes.

“Twelve parsecs,” Kylo corrects you.

“Oh,” You blush at your incorrect fact and turn away.

“We will have to go through it as well to make it quickly to Kessel,” His hands regrip his stirring handles. 

“Will it be…bad?” You watch the lovely purple turns into dark clouds the closer you come to it. 

“I will make it as fast as possible. But you will want to hold on,” He encourages. Your hands find his thighs. You tighten your stomach in preparation for the approaching endeavor. You spread your knees slightly so his helmet can stay secure between them on the ride. You take one last deep breathe. 

Pushing forward, the ship zooms into the darkness. Lighting flashes all around you as Kylo weaves his way through the nearly blinding storm of clouds. You close your eyes unable to handle the uncertainty of the Maw. Unlike your rigid body, you can feel Kylo’s relaxed muscles. Yes, they are tight with movement but there is no anxious tension in them. You open your eyes and lift them to Kylo’s face. His dark eyes are solely focused on what is before the ship. A small smile of pride resides on his face. 

I like that. You want to keep staring but a flash in the corner of your eye draws your focus to outside the window. Kylo twists the controls sending the ship into a barrel roll. You close your eyes feeling bile rising in your throat. 

Upright once more, you force yourself not to vomit. You don’t breathe or loosen your grip on Kylo’s legs. Not until Kylo calls your name. You open an eye. 

A copper tinted planet rests below the now slow ship. You take a breath and finally detach your nails from his pants. 

“There is Kessel. I will take my helmet back now,” he puts his hand out. You hand it to him. He covers his pleased face before using his force to summon your helmet. He puts it atop your head then summons your blaster to put in your hands before taking the ship down toward the planet.   
_  
Kessel is dusty and foul smelling. You hold your breath once more as you climb out of the Silencer’s hatch. Kylo follows you out. Once both of you are on the ground an aging red skinned Twi-lek approaches you two with numerous humans and Pykes as well as a cream colored Gigoran stand with him. 

“Commander Ren, welcome to Kessel,” The Twi-Lek greets your black shrouded superior with a little tilt as if it were a half bow. “I am Kinash Lock, the Queen Yaruba’s majordomo. I have been entrusted to speak with you today on behalf of my queen.” 

“Is your queen ill?” Kylo asks. 

“No, she is very healthy.”

“Is she physically disabled?”

“No, sir.” Kinash’s forehead crinkles. 

“Is she deaf, mute or mentally deficient?” 

“No, sir. Our queen is strong in all areas.” Kinash is confused by all the questions. 

“Then why is she not here?” 

“My queen is…preoccupied in the southern sanctuaries. That is why I have been sent in her place,” Kinash informs Kylo. 

“I was told I would be meeting with the queen not a majordomo.”

“Yes, but she is preocc-”

“Too preoccupied for the First Order? I should think nothing would be more important to the queen than this meeting. Unless, her loyalties lie with the Resistance,” Kylo’s statements make Kinachs gulp and turn his red skin to more a pink shade. 

“Our loyalties are to the First Order, I assure you.” Kinash attempts to appease Kylo. 

“Then produce your queen. I will speak to no one but her,” Kylo declares. Kinash steps away nodding in understanding. He whispers to his hoard. You look around Kessel. You see humans, Pykes, Wookies, Gigorans, Dwunis, Twi-leks, and various other races in chains. They walk in and out of the mines along with some droids. Dirty, tired and almost ill they look. You see children among them. You were younger them when you began your training for the first order but at least you didn’t bare scars on your body as these children do. What sort of punishment is put upon them? Your stomach hurts. You are not sure if it the after effects of your tumultuous flight or the pitiful circumstances of the slaves around you. 

“We shall take you to our queen,” Kinash returns to a closer spot near Kylo. 

“Good.”

Kinash asks for Kylo follow him. You stick close to Kylo as a bodyguard should. It is not long before you all are aboard a sail barge. It travels south toward the Queen of the Yaruba family. Kinash attempts to speak to Kylo in his queen’s place but Kylo still refuses making the long trip rather awkward. 

Inhaling fresh air, you turn and look of the barge to see lush green lands ahead. Were these the southern sanctuaries?

Green trees, bushes and grass are everywhere. Pools of sparkling water can be spotted sporadically as you sail over them. You near gasp at the sight of a palace soap white stone. Green plants grow over it with yellow blooms giving some color to the white palace. 

The barge stops and you get off. You step on the pure stone amazed at it’s lack of any sort of tracks. Kinash walks ahead leading only you and Kylo further toward the building. A pair of grand glass doors open allowing you inside. Floors made of gold and silver tempt you to find a way to take a piece. A colossal fountain sits in the middle of the floor shooting up the clearest water you have ever seen. Your mouth suddenly feels dry. 

Footsteps are heard coming from behind the fountain. You can see behind the water is a group of women dressed in fine green linen dresses. They come around the fountain huddle together in a circle. 

“May I present the beautiful, gracious Queen Moxa of the Yaruba family,” Kinash holds his hand out toward the woman. They separate revealing their queen. 

Wow. You almost step back seeing the tall, svelte woman before you dressed in a form fitting yellow gown. A large glowing pendant rests between her large breasts that are barely hidden by her low neckline. Her straight black hair flows down her back and nearly reaches the floor. A tiara of yellow diamonds rests atop her head. Her almond eyes go to Kylo. 

“Welcome to Kessel,” Her thick lips spread into a smile for Kylo revealing the whitest teeth you’ve ever seen. How can someone be so beautiful?

“Thank you, Queen Moxa,” Kylo does not bow to her but dips his head slightly. 

“I trust your journey was not difficult.”

“The Maw was worth fighting through to see a vision as yourself in person, your majesty.”

What the heck? You are taken back by Kylo’s flattery of the queen. She smirks pleased. 

“Is my beauty why you refuse to negotiate with Kinash?” She nods her head toward the old Twi-Lek but her eyes do not leave Kylo. 

“I had to see with my own eyes if the rumors were true.”

“What rumors?” 

“That the queen of Kessel is more intoxicating than crushed kesselstone.”

“And? What do you think?” She crosses her arms across her torso making her breasts even larger. 

“You are even more so,” He remarks. You want to gag as his complimenting of the other woman who grins and giggles pleased with his answer. 

“Well, I am glad to have lived up to my reputation then.”

“As am I.”

“Shall we discuss business then, Commander Ren?”

“If you wish.”

Queen Moxa steps out of her feminine circle to approach Kylo. She keeps about two feet between them before walking toward a different room. Kylo walks with her. You follow. They speak of coaxium and Kessel. He compliments her repeatedly. You can’t explain it but each time he does you want to shoot him with a blaster. 

He’s never told you that you are beautiful…Yes, Queen Moxa is stunning but is she really that beautiful? Has her beauty really turned Kylo into a fawning sycophant? It is unsettling, maddening and downright wrong. How dare he speak like that to another woman. Does he want to fuck her too? 

Wait. Stop. You should not care if he wants to fuck her. Who he fucks is of no concern of yours. You are done with that part of your relationship. You are just to protect him and not think of that other mess. This way you will protect Eight-Seven as well. So, if he wants to fuck this royal slave owner, then who are you to care? 

“I understand, Commander Ren. I will have Kinash speak with the foremen immediately.”

“Thank you, Queen Moxa.”

“Now, that this is all settled, you must stay and sup with me,” She puts her hand on his forearm.

“If you wish it.”

“I do. I will have the slave prepare a meal. Until then you can go through those doors and enjoy the gardens,” Queen Moxa points toward the glass doors that lead outdoors. She then leaves the room to speak to her slaves. 

Kylo doesn’t even look in your direction. He just walks out the glass doors. You follow. The colorful plants are gorgeous but you cannot enjoy them. 

“How long are we to stay here on Kessel, sir?” You ask. 

“Till I am sure that I have what I came for,” He keeps his back to you and his eyes on the garden.

“Queen Moxa has already promised the triple coaxium you requested. Can we not leave?” You recall the content of their business meeting. 

“Why are you so eager to leave?”

“I just feel that you have gotten what you’ve wanted. There is no point in staying any longer,” You try to sound as business like as possible. Kylo turns around causally.

“Did I say all I wanted was Kessel’s coaxium?” 

“What else would you want here?” You feel something spreading in your chest. Something not good.

“As a man, there are many things I have seen today that I want.”

“Like Queen Moxa?” The name leaves a sour taste in your mouth. He comes close to you. 

“Jealousy is a very unattractive trait,” he repeats the line you told him earlier. 

“Ha! I am not jealous of some spoiled queen or some desire you have for her. If you want to fuck her, then go ahead. I’m not going to fuck you anymore so please, fuck her,” You encourage him despite your heart twinging and eyes watering. 

“Fine. If you insist,” Kylo steps away and goes to return to the palace. You wait a moment. Are you really okay with him and her? 


	13. A Test of Merit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for all the kudos and the comments. This took a bit of time to write but I hope you all will enjoy!

Chapter 13

The dining hall is stark white much like the rest of the palace. A glass table extends several feet allowing for at least twenty table settings but only two are set. Food of every kind and goblets filled with Merenzane Gold rest at the two place settings. You stand against the wall while Queen Moxa and her guest sit. The queen sits at the head of the table with Kylo seated at her right hand. Their chairs are position that they are almost atop each other despite a corner being between them.

“Will you remove your helmet to eat, Commander Ren?” Queen Moxa inquires as the food sits on their plates. 

“Of course,” He answers and lets his thumbs go to unlock the helmet. He lifts it off earning a very pleased smirk from the queen. 

“I say, Commander Ren, you should leave the helmet off at all times,” Queen Moxa recommends. You would agree but you don’t like this woman to look at his face as lustfully as she does. Your displeasure also stems from the fact you can only see the back of his head. 

“I’ve heard that before,” He places the helmet before him on the table. They begin to dine. You look on to the food. It all look delicious but you know you will have to be satisfied to eat your portion packet from your belt later. 

“Would your slave like to eat in the kitchen with the other slaves?” Queen Moxa refers to you. 

“She is not a slave. She is my body guard,” Kylo corrects the queen and lifts his goblet to drink.

“Body guard? And a female one at that. I am very surprised?”

“Why? Do you not also have body guards?” Kylo puts his goblet down.

“I do and they are female as well, but I would not think a man as powerful as yourself would need one. You are the jedi killer after all,” Queen Moxa brings up the nickname you have often heard around base. 

“You of all people understand the importance of having some watch your back,” He lets his hand reach around her and stroke her bare back, “And such a lovely back at that.”  
This line earns a delighted giggle. You want to puke. Could he please stop touching her?

“Your guard, is she horribly disfigured from battles and training?” Queen Moxa keeps an eye on you. 

“You may see for yourself. Take off your helmet,” Kylo order without even glancing back at you. You obey and remove your helmet. Queen Moxa looks you over and smiles. Her teeth catch her lower lip. She then turns her attention back to Kylo.

“She is quite a prize, Commander. Is she actually good in the field or do you keep her just for your visual pleasure?” Queen Moxa inquires. 

She thinks I’m pretty? Well, that’s nice of her. 

“I assure you, I would not keep a useless person by my side no matter how he or she looks,” Kylo takes a sip of his beverage. 

So I’m not useless but my looks don’t matter to him…

“Hmmm…what is your name, guard?” Queen Moxa directs the question to you. 

“FN-1971,” You answer. You know better than to tell her the other one. 

“That’s not a name! I think I would call you Bailala or Jujul.”

“It’s better not to give troopers proper names. They will begin to form identities and desires that may distract them from the First Order,” Kylo puts his cup down. You put your helmet back on.

“I thought you said she wasn’t a slave,” Queen Moxa calls out the similarity between your station and the other. You can see Kylo’s arms tightening. He must be frustrated. 

“I am not a slave, your majesty. I willingly serve the First Order and Commander Ren of my own volition and I am compensated,” You stand up for your organization despite not exactly feeling the words. 

“Loyalty…that is an admirable trait. You do seem to be the perfect guard…but I am still not sure of your fighting ability,” The queen lifts her goblet to her thick lips then she puts it down with wide eyes and a smile. “I have an idea!” 

You and Kylo both look at the royal.

“Commander Ren, would you mind terribly if I had your guard spar with a few of my own personal guard? I’d love to see the power the First Order has via their fighters,” She reaches out to touch his forearm. She bats her long eye lashes at Kylo. 

She wants me to fight some of her guards? Fine. As long as I don’t have to keep watching these sorts of disgusting interactions anymore. 

Kylo takes her hand and lifts it to his lips. He kisses it. You frown. 

“If you wish it, your majesty.”

She grins and keeps her hand in Kylo’s.

“Great! Luckily the fighting pits has just been cleaned. Balta!” The Queen stands and yells the name. A young woman in brown comes into the room with her head and eyes lowered. 

“Yes, your majesty?”

“Have the fatal four they will have their merit tested today, and please take Commander Ren’s guard to be prepared for the pit as well,” Queen Moxa instructs. Balta nods. She turns and motions for you to follow her. You look once more to the back of Kylo’s head. He does not even look back at you. That’s fine. You will go with Balta. 

Balta leads you up some stairs and into a large room. The room is full of bright tapestries, futons, tables covered in fruits and pastries. The ten women in green you had seen before lay about in their green garments. Upon your entry all of their eyes go to you and Balta. 

“Queen Moxa has decided to have merit test today for Axi, Asharr, Kyky and Taki. Your new opponent will be Commander Ren’s personal guard,” Balta gestures to you. 

“Her?” A blue Twi-Lek stands with a laugh. 

“She’s just a stormtrooper. They easier to kill than flies,” A Togruta woman laughs as well making her montrals shake. 

“I wouldn’t be so confident, ladies,” A woman of astonishing height with a scars over her face stands up silencing the others. They look to her for her words.

“If the Jedi Killer has chosen her for his protection she must not be as weak as the others,” The woman reasons approaching you. You have to look up at her when she comes in front of you. 

“I am Axi. They are Kyky and Taki,” She points to the Twi-Lek then the Togruta for their introductions, “You are?” 

“FN-1971,” You answer.

“What kind of name is that?” A Rekk huffs making her nasal antenna sway. 

“Koil,” Axi holds a disapproving tone. 

“It is the name the First Order has given me,” You reply. 

“Queen Moxa will want to give her a different name if she makes it,” A red haired human woman comments. You think on the names the queen had mentioned before to you.

“As if she would make it, Yoya,” A gold eyed and gold skinned Noorian remarks with huff. 

“I don’t know, Asharr. Axi is right. She is the personal guard to the most feared commander of the First Order,” A more petite Norrian approaches her look-a-like.

“It doesn’t matter, Jili. She will fail,” Asharr is confident. 

“Me fail? I have defeated Tusken Raiders and wampas. I can easily kick that ass of a sparkly little Noorian like you,” You spit before you can stop yourself. Asharr lunges at you with fist cocked but the Axi and Jili grab her to restrain her. You do not even flinch at the action. You know you should not have provoked this potential opponent. 

“I’m going to kill you in that pit,” Asharr growls. 

“I look forward to the attempt,” You keep your confidence.

“This is merely a sparring match, Asharr,” Axi reminds the golden girl, 

“Accidents happen,” Asharr keeps her cold eyes on you.

“Yes. They do.” You don’t blink.

“You all need to get dressed for the test,” Balta reminds all of her existence. The “fatal four”, as Queen Moxa called them, begin undressing. 

“You will need to change as well,” Balta comes to your side. 

“Me? I am fine to fight in my uniform,” You gesture to your clothes. 

“You are not allowed to wear any uniform to fight expect that which is picked out my Queen Moxa. That way no one has more or less protection,” Jili informs you. 

I guess that makes sense…

“What do we wear?” You watch your future opponents walk to a large wardrobe in the room. 

“This,” Axi opens the door. Your jaw drops. 

The women begin dressing and toss you your uniform. You stare it just horrified. You look back up to the women dressing with no problem. 

“Why would she pick this?” You have to know. 

“It is the closest we can get to being naked but also being protected,” Kyky responds. 

“Why would she want us to be close to naked?” You still don’t understand.

“She’s a lusty beast,” Asharr smirks to herself. 

“What Asharr is saying is Queen Moxa enjoys watching her lovers and potential lovers physically fight for her pleasure while scantily clad,” Axi gives an actual answer.

“You are all her lovers?” You scan the room. All the women nod.

“We are her guards but also her harem. But we must earn our place here through showing our fighting skill,” Taki speaks up. 

“Wait. If harem is just women then why has she been flirting with Commander Ren?” 

“Queen Moxa enjoys a man’s company ever now and again so she might take your commander into her bed but men always leave. Women are far loyal to those they love. So, she only keeps women at all times,” Axi’s words draw a nod of agreement from the others. “Aren’t you here to fight for a spot among us?”

“No. Not at all. I was just asked to show my skill. I was never told I was trying out for a harem,” You feel yourself sweating in anxiety. 

“Remove your helmet,” Axi points to the white bucket on your head. You take it off. 

“I see. Did she have you remove your helmet before she asked for a display of skill?” Axi questions. 

“Yes…”

“She wants you. If you prove successful, she will find someway to keep you,” Yoya sighs. 

“I don’t want to stay. I am going back to Starkiller Base with Commander Ren.”

“If you lose, you will. But if you win, then I’m sure she will convince him to leave you behind,” Kyky gives the possible scenarios. 

“He’d never leave me here. He’d never leave me,” You shake your head.

“Pida and Exol thought that too but their father left them and took two ships worth of Coaxium,” Taki points to two other young human who rest on a futon away from them then points to another one, “And Bask’s brother left her here. Jili, Yoya, and Koil were all left here by their own husbands.”

You gulp at the history. Kylo is neither your father or husband…his tie to you is so much lesser. He may leave you…

“But their lives are much better here in the harem. Queen Moxa is a generous mistress,” Axi praises their queen. You can only frown. You cannot lose. Kylo will be disappointed in your weakness but you do not want to stay in this harem and away from Kylo.

“You better get dressed. Queen Moxa is very impatient,” Kyky nods to your new fighting uniform still in your hands. You take a deep breath and begin to change. 

* * *

You squirm as you stand behind the gate separating you from the fighting pit. You look down at the required garb. You frown seeing how barely dressed you are in a brass brassiere fastened around your neck and behind your back. The brass thong is almost unbearable. It feels like the metal is cutting into you skin. And you fear all will see your bare ass despite the knee length, white veils in front and behind you. The only comfortable thing you wear are a pair of leather boots. 

“So, what exactly is supposed to happen, Balta?” You keep your eyes on the gate.

“The gate will open and you will exit. One of the other gates will open and reveal your first opponent. If you beat her then another gate will open and you will fight the second. IF you keep winning you will have more opponents. If you lose then the test ends,” Balta is kind enough to explain the process. 

“I see. When will we begin?” The query leaves your mouth just in time for the gate to begin to open. Electric lights shine down on you as you walk onto the sandy terrain. You look up. The sky has grown dark which is why there are now electric lights. You look around and find yourself in pit below a stadium. The stadium is empty. You assume no guests were invited for this match You keep your eyes searching and find on a platform what you are searching for.

Kylo sits next to Queen Moxa whose guards that are not partaking in the battle stand behind her. He has put his mask back on leaving you blind to any emotion he may have. You can’t even tell if he likes of dislikes your fighting costume. Queen Moxa grins very pleased at the sight of you. 

The screech of chain opening up a gate turns your attention to a gate opening near you. You see Kyky emerges from the gate. Kyky comes next to you and kneels before the queen who smiles. Queen Moxa stands and comes to the edge of the platform. She spreads her hands apart. Kyky turns to you. You face her as well. A single clap from the queen sends Kyky into a rebel yell. This must be the signal to begin. 

With arms raised up she lunges toward you. You duck down sending your right leg between hers. You allow your right hand move to block her right knee as your left hand grabs the back of her left leg. You thrust your head into her stomach and lift her into the air and easily throw her to the side. 

She leaps up from the ground. She rushes at you and jumps. She lands with both of her hands going around your neck. You easily slide your arms between her arms and break the hold but you bring you left hand around the back of her head then bring your right around just as fast. Holding her close and in place you headbutt her in the face. You let her fall to the ground with a bloody and broken nose. With her dazed and on the ground, you jump atop her. You grab her by the shoulders and turn her over on her stomach. As you turn her, you grab one of her long head tails. You wrap it around her neck and pull tightly as you press your knees into her back. You hear her choke. Her arms flail about as they try to find you. You pull tighter. Her hand grabs some of the sand. You close your eyes just as she throws it back toward your face. You don’t release her or open your eyes. You feel her body go limp. Only then do you remove one hand to wipe your eyes. You open them and see she is out. You are glad you braided your hair into your halo instead of letting it be grabbable. 

You get off Kyky and dust yourself off. You find your opponent was not too difficult to subdue. You look back to the platform. 

“Well done,” Queen Moxa pays no attention to Kyky. Yoya and Jili come to remove Kyky’s body. As they drag her away you hear another gate open. Taki struts out and comes to your side before the leaders. Once Kyky is taken away, Queen Moxa spreads her hands. You turn to face Taki and she you.

Clap. 

Taki does not move. She flexes her fingers signaling for you to play aggressor. You make a start toward her. You reach out your hands and reaches out her own. You grab at her forearms. You both succeed in grabbing each other. Some not so playful pulling begins. Till you grab her and allow yourself to go to the ground. You wrap your legs around one of her legs and her waist while continuing to pull on her arm. She falls into your hold but wraps her free arm around your neck. She pulls your face against one of her headtails as if in an attempt to smother you. You send your hand to her throat to push away. Her now free hands find different paths. One goes to the ground to steady herself as the other goes to your neck. The hand meant to steady her goes under one of your legs and she begins to lift you off the ground. You throw your pelvis tipping over your unsteady opponent. Her legs hook around you as you break her hold from your neck. You twist and try to stand but with your back to her. She pull on the back veil of your costume. You turn around and try to get atop her but she kicks your stomach sending you back. With some space you stand up as does she. But she does not hesitate to come toward you now. She cocks back her fist and begins to throw it at you as she comes closer. You kick out your foot hitting her knee joint. She falls at the impact and grimaces. 

You straddle her torso. You put your right hand on her throat. Her own right hand goes atop of yours while her left goes to grab and trap your tricep. You feel her right leg hook over your bent one as the other remains between your legs. Lifting her pelvis, she manages to flip you over. Now in the dominant position with herself between your legs, her hands go to your neck. Your right hand grasps her left wrist as your left hand crosses between you both and grips the back of her neck. Pushing of her left hip, you pivot your hips to the left and send your right leg high up to her shoulder blade. You bring your left leg around in front of Taki’s face and lock your ankles. You move your hands to both hold onto her wrist. Pushing your legs down, she falls down. Her head and torso are pinned beneath your knees. You hold her wrist in your hand and her arm is at your mercy. You twist it violently earning a scream from her and a crack from her bone. You feel her tap your leg in surrender. You release her and stand. She holds her broken arm as she tries to stand. You offer assistance but she swats your hand away. She gains her footing and walks away back toward her gate. 

“I see your guard is ruthless,” Queen Moxa comments to Kylo. He says nothing. The screech of another gate comes. 

Axi comes now. You had forgotten how tall she is. As she comes by your side you easily remember. Her height rivals that of Kylo and Captain Phasma. She gives her queen a smile then one to you. The queen spreads her hands. You both begin to back up. 

Clap.

Axi holds up her fists and spreads out her feet ready for battle. You make fists as well. With the great height difference, it will be much harder to do a direct attack. 

You start at her with several faking punches so she defends against nothing. You angle your way in closer to her. You try to fake and in and out in hopes of throwing her off balance but she does not. With one much to your face, she sends you to the ground. You push yourself up and over away from her. Still she rushes at you. She spears you sending you to the ground again. You struggle to breathe as she begins straddling you. Axi brings down her fists to slam your face. You block the blows with your forearms. You thrust your hips up to bridge them sending Axi forward. She lands on her hands. You overhook her left arm with your right one and clamp down. She tries to pull her arm up but you hold tightly. You move your right leg over her left leg to trap it. You bridge your hips again and roll sending her to the ground. She wraps her legs back around your torso to keep you close to her. She wraps her bulky arms around the back your neck pulling your face into her shoulder. You slip your hand up and drive your palm up against her jaw. Pushing her away, her arms release you allowing you to sit up. You pull your hand away and make a hammer fist that you slam into her face several times. She does finally catch your arm. 

With her tremendous strength Axi pushes you back off her. You make it on your feet as she does too. She moves to kick your head but you drop and slide. You hook your leg around her one steady one. Sending her to the ground. You slam your fist into her back before standing back up again. She jumps up and turns to face you again. She comes at you again and succeeds on kicking your legs then your face sending you to the ground. You roll as she tries to stomp on you with her large feet. She comes down again but you catch her foot. You push her off balance sending her down. You flip over and get atop her once more. With your hand like a blade, you chop at both sides of her neck. As she is stunned you repeat the action until she is rendered unconscious. You get off her and look back to the platform breathing heavily now. Axi is taken away.

“Oh my! She is amazing, Commander Ren. Would you ever be willing to part with her?” Queen Moxa has begun her inquiry as to his interest in leaving you. You gulp hearing the words. Your worried eyes stay on your commander. 

“Part with her?” He repeats the last of the queen’s words. 

“Yes. If she manages to defeat my last guard, I know she would be perfect for my guard,” the queen’s eyes go back to you. She looks you over and licks her lips.

You wouldn’t leave me, would you? You send your thoughts to Kylo. 

The last gate opens with the annoying sound. You don’t look at your last opponent. You know it is Asharr. You keep your eyes on Kylo and await his response. 

Have I not shown you how useful I can be? You continue to send your thoughts to Kylo. 

“I don’t know if you’d really want her, your majesty. She can be very difficult.”

Me? You’re the difficult one! You almost cross your arms but instead keep them at your side. 

“As was my Asharr. But now she is my loyalist guard,” The Kessel queen smiles to Asharr, “You just have to learn what motivates your guards.”

“I know how to motivate her. But you wouldn’t be able to.”

“Oh? What is it that you have that I don’t?”

Don’t you dare say that it is your cock. You glare at him.

“That’s between the two of us,” Kylo keeps his secret. 

“I guess I will have to learn then, if she beats my Asharr,” the Queen Moxa spreads her hands and claps them before you even have time to create space between you and the Noorian. 

Asharr comes swinging. You doge and throw your own punch hitting the back of her head. She is barely affected. You run at her and raise her knee up to hit her face. You grab the back of her head and bring her down to hit your knee. With her slightly dazed you punch her stomach a few times. You got to punch at her face but she blocks it. Asharr swings her arm and gets it around your neck. She throws you away from her only to approach you again. She starts trying to strike your face but you cover your face. You kick her away from you before approaching her again. 

You swing at her but she blocks and hits you instead. She sends a few painful jabs into your ribs. You manage to throw your fist into her cheek send her a step back. Then you leap and land another punch. Asharr stumbles backward. You get your arm around her and throw a few blows to the back of her head. She does the same to you. You bring your arm between the both of you sending a few hit to her jaw. She swings her fist up and hits you. You stagger backward. She runs up and roundhouse kicks you. As you begin to fall she picks you up by your waist. She raises you up only to throw you down to the ground. 

Asharr goes between your legs and throw her fists. You protect your face and keep your legs around her waist. As she raises her arm back you brings your foot around and plow your heel into Asharr’s forehead. When she falls back, you hop up. You gain some space between you and Asharr. She quickly tries to close it.   
Asharr kicks at your thigh leading you to throw two punch both which she avoids by backing up. She kicks her long legs up and hits your hip before kicking up her other leg to hit your other hip. She grabs onto your hair and lets her finger hook into your braid. You send punches into her sides. She jumps up and pulls your head down into her knee. You wrap your arms around the attacking leg and run her back till she hits the wall of the pit. Her arms over your biceps as your arms go under her arms. Unfortunately, she manages to spin you around and pin you to the wall. She repeatedly sends her knees into your stomach. Before flipping you over onto the ground. She gets on your back. Your hand go to cover the back of your head. She punches your head until you buck your hips up sending her forward like you had down with Axi. But as you try to turn, Asharr keep her legs hooked around your thighs. Her arms try t go around your neck. You push them away and you squirm. But her legs go around your torso and her arms go around your neck. They lock. You attempt to scratch at them but she does not let you go.

“I’m gonna break this little neck of yours. Then you can go home in a fucking box,” Asharr begins to twist her head. There is a great pain in your neck. You try to resist it. Your eyes go to Kylo who you can barely in this angle.

I will not lose. I will succeed. I will go home with Kylo. You close your eyes and slip your finger under her tight arms. 

Release. Release. You push against her arms as you focus on this. You feel a sudden surge of power in your fingers. Her hold weakens and her arms begin to allow your hands between them.

“What the-” Asharr is shocked herself as you grip her arms and begin to stand up with her still wrapped around you. You walk back and ram her into the wall. You hear her gasp of pain but you repeat the action even harder And this time as her goes forward you throw your head back breaking her nose. You feel her no longer moving on you. You drop her and turns around to see her slumped against the walk with blood gushing out of her nose. You walk away from her back toward the platform.

“Well done! Well done!” Queen Moxa stands applauding you for your work. You continue toward them but your eyes go to Kylo who remains seated. 

“You are truly a prize,” She turns to Kylo, “I will give you triple our original deal for her.”

“What?”

“I want her for my guard. I will give you triple your order for her.”

“No,” Kylo stands up from his seat. 

“Quadruple then,” She ups the bid. 

“No.”

“Quintuple.”

“No.”

Queen Moxa’s cordial smile begins to falter at the refusal. Then she arches her back to put her breasts out. 

“I can see why you want to keep her, Commander Ren, but I am willing to offer you more than just Coaxium for her,” Queen Moxa lets her finger run down the edge plunging neckline. 

Now, he will give me up. He’ll leave me here and fuck her. Your despair comes in the form of tears. 

“Why do you want her so badly?”

“I want her to protect me, and I will happily take her into her harem as I have with my other guards. I will take care of her,” Queen Moxa tries to give Kylo peace of mind. 

“Your harem?” 

“Yes, but don’t worry, I do enjoy men like you too,” She puts her hand on her arm. “I am willing to give you ten times your original order and a night with me in exchange for her.”

Your body begins to shake. You don’t know if it from fatigue after fighting all these women or in the fear Kylo will give into Queen Moxa’s request. You were the one who told him to fuck her. 

Kylo pulls his arm from her. 

“You could offer me all of Kessel and every night of your life, and I would not give her to you.”

“What?” Both you and the queen are gobsmacked.

“You-you…you’re denying me? No man has ever denied me,” Her face loses it’s beauty as she scowls. “I have had fathers, brothers and husbands give everything including their women to me for less coaxium than I originally promised you. And I offer you myself and fifty percent of production and you reject me? Why would you-oh, wait.”   
Queen Moxa stops herself. She looks at you then Kylo. She shakes her head and smiles wryly then she begins to laugh. 

“Wow. You are a great actor, Commander Ren. You tricked me. Here I thought you were like all the other men who came around here wanting ships of coaxium and a chance between my legs. You only pretended to want to fuck me so I’d agree to your coaxium deal. Wow. I cannot believe I fell for it.” Queen Moxa continues to laugh at her revelation.

You were just pretending to flirt and flatter her for a deal? You are not sure whether to be relieved or upset at the emotional distress that you went through. 

“Thank you for your time, Queen Moxa. My guard and I will be leaving once her proper clothing is returned to her,” Kylo decides. 

“Of course. Balta, take her away to be cleaned and dressed,” The queen orders the distant slave. She comes into the pit and takes your arm. She leads you away.


	14. The In Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you guys for over 200 kudos! Thank you also for the comments. I'm glad most seemed satisfied with the last chapter. I hope you will all enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 14

Walking with Balta, your mind is not on your destination, your defeated opponents, the queen or Balta. Your mind just replays and replays Kylo’s words. 

“You could offer me all of Kessel and every night of your life, and I would not give her to you.”

Your heart just glows. Though he didn’t say it out right, Kylo cares about you. Even after telling him you’d never sleep with him again, he still cares about you and wouldn’t leave you.

Balta walks you into the large bathroom. A stone tub sits in the middle of the room. Balta turns on the water. She tells you that you should feel free to undress. You remove your boots but before you move to remove anything else, you notice Balta has not put the tub stopper in to block the drain. Instead she just lets the water flow down the drain. You watch her eyes glance to the door a few times but never to you. 

The door bursts open and in enters Jili, Yoya and Koil. Before you can think they make a mad dash toward you. Balta jumps in the empty tub. 

Koil reaches you first. You wrap your arms around the back of her head and knee her repeatedly in the face. You use her body as a sort of shield as to block the other two attackers. Koil begins to fall having suffered too many blows to the head. You throw her against Yoya in hopes the other femal would catch Koil and thus occupy her hands. Yoya avoids catching Koil causing the Rekk to fall against the edge of the stone tub. Her skull cracks against it. 

You throw a straight punch into Yoya’s jaw sending her back. Jili takes the opportunity to jump on you. She pins you onto the ground. As you buck youer hips up to throw her off balance she manages to stay on top. Yoya comes over with Balta. Balta grabs your ankles as Yoya goes to grab the wrists Jili has pinned. You thrash your body around but Jili stay on top of you. She pulls out a syringe from your pocket. 

“What are you-” Before you can finish, Jili jabs the syringe in your arm and squeezes whatever is inside into your body.

“What are you doing?” You feel heat filling your arm.

“If Queen Moxa can’t have you then no one can,” Jili informs you. With a sudden surge of strength you kick Balta off your feet. You throw up your feet to kick Jili in the back of the head. She falls over and contort yourself so you can kick Yoya in the head. You stand up and pull out the syringe. You feel fire spreading in your veins. Your heart races.

“What did you put in me?” You throw down the syringe. 

“Six grams of liquid kesselstone,” Yoya answers. Six grams? You’ll overdose. 

“You’ve killed me!” You scream and throw out your hands. Somehow all three of the women rise up in the air. You look at your hands. You can almost see vibrations coming from them and they reach around the necks of your attackers. They kick and squirm as they try to breathe. You squeeze your hands and watch them choke more. You make your hands fists and hear three different cracks. You throw down your hands and they fall to the floor. 

“Was that the force?” You stare at your hands in horror then remember the most important force user. 

“If they are killing me then they will try to kill Kylo! I have to find Kylo!” You run out the bathroom door. You try to run down the white halls. The hall begins to spin. Your muscles all cramp. You fall to the floor as your body begins to freeze. 

“Kylo…Kylo,” You try to call out the name but your throat contracts silencing you. 

Kylo! Kylo! You call out in your mind. He must hear you. He must. The pain becomes overwhelming but you can’t give in to it. Your vision begins to blur. Your breath slows as does your heartbeat. Your body begins to lose the heat you once felt. A black blob comes down the hall quickly. It reaches you and picks you up. It says yours name.

Kylo?

* * *

With a gasp, you sit up with eyes wide open. You look around yourself and find yourself surrounded by darkness. Everything is black except some random white streaks around you. You feel nothing beneath you but you are able to stand up. You look down at yourself. You are dressed in a gray gown.

“Kylo?” You call out for him but there is no answer. 

“Am I dead? Is this all there is after death? Nothing? That can’t be right,” You bring your hand to hold your chin as your eyebrows furrow together. You begin walking around in search of something, anything. 

You see a large triangle with circle in it. Coming closer to it you see Kylo maskless. You smile. You call out to him but he does not seem to hear you. You find he is not in his usual militaristic garb but instead in black trousers and boots, and a belt with a gun holster as well as a place for a lightsaber to hook on to though you see no lightsaber there or in his hand. He also has on slightly tight white shirt with a black vest over it. He looks so handsome and kind of like his dad from that vision you had. He sits in a ship and flies with a smile on his face. You cannot help but smile too seeing him so happy and comfortable. If you could, you would walk into that scene. You stop yourself seeing a young boy. He comes and takes a seat next to Kylo. He looks almost exactly like Kylo but a child. He grins to Kylo who ruffles the boy’s hair. 

“Is the life had before? Did he have a son? No. He was a virgin when we had sex or at least that vision made me think he was. Maybe that boy is a brother. But I saw no brother in the visions I had. Who is this boy? Why is Kylo like that? It makes no sense,” You step away. 

You keep walking away till you see another triangle. You approach the circle. You see yourself in your trooper uniform. You and Eight-Seven gather close together as you read a copy of Kade Genti. You know this. This is a memory. You turn from it and keep walking till you find another triangle and circle. 

In the new one you see Kylo again but you are there too. He kisses your other self passionately. He pulls away and breathlessly says the three words that make your heart stop. 

“What?” You look on shocked. Did Kylo really say that to your other self? You start to reach out to touch the circle. 

“Hello,” The voice makes you jump and spin around with your hands up ready to fight. A handsome man with golden brown hair who is perhaps a little older than you stands there before you in layered robes. His light eyes grow at your reaction then returned to their normal size. He offers a smile. 

“I am not here to hurt you, child.”

“Who are you? Where am I? Am I dead?” You shoot off the questions keeping your hands up. 

“You’re not dead. You’re just in between worlds right now,” He avoids the first question by answering the latter two. 

“Why am I between worlds?”

“Your body is fighting death. Your spirit is resting here,” He explains. 

“Death? I can’t die. I have to return to Kylo and protect him. If the queen has tried to kill me, she will surely try to kill him. I have to protect him even if I have to kill everyone on Kessel. I must protect him. Help me return to him!” You grab the arm of the man. He pulls his arm out form your hands and puts his hands on your shoulders.

“Do you really want to return to him?”

“Yes,” You nod your head. 

“Do you love him?” The question makes your cheeks flush you step back from the stranger. 

“Love Kylo? I-I’m not allowed to love. It’s forbidden for stormtroopers like me. But I would die for him… even when he is being an ass. That’s why I can’t die now. I have to protect him,” You make one final plead. 

“I understand. You will return to him.” This makes you smile. 

“I will?”

“Yes. But you must learn to use the force,” The stranger becomes serious. 

“The force? I can’t use the force,” You lie. His unblinking blue eyes stay on you. You swallow seeing he isn’t fool. 

“If I use the force then I will be executed. If I’m executed then I will be unable to protect Kylo,” You reason. 

“Come with me,” He turns around. 

“Okay…” You decide to follow him. He leads you to a different triangle with a circle. 

“Come, look,” He gestures to the circle. You come close and see yourself. You were an almost skintight black outfit but no armor. It is a rather nice change from your trooper uniform. And your hair is in a fantastic braid. Kylo stands near you. You both hold light sabers in your hands. His is the crackling red and yours is a color you never expected. The two of you fight of horrid looking creatures. You see yourself throw one without even touching it as it tries to attack Kylo. 

“See, if you learn to you the Force, you will be a greater asset to him. You will be able to protect him better,” He counters.

“I do see. Are all these openings views of the future?” You look back to the man. 

“Sometimes they are. Sometimes that are of the past. Sometimes they are what could be. Not every vision becomes reality,” He explains. 

“I see. So how do I know this one will be a reality,” You point to the one you and Kylo fighting together. 

“Because, the force is strong with you thought you try to repress it. Be honest and you will be able to learn to use it,” He encourages. 

“What about that one? How do I make that one come true?” You point to the one of Kylo telling you what you never thought he would. The man pauses and smirks. The way he does only reminds you of a smug Kylo. 

“I thought you said you weren’t allowed to love,” He brings up your former words. 

“But that doesn’t mean he isn’t,” You quip.

“To receive love you must give love,” He answers. You soak in the words. 

“It looks like our time together here is almost done,” He looks beyond you. You see a triangle with a bright light in the circle approaching you. 

“Before you return, I must ask you a favor.”

“What?” You are surprised at this second request. 

“You must save Ben.”

“Ben? Who is Ben?” You raise an eyebrow. 

“Promise me you will try to save Ben,” The stranger grabs your hand. 

“Okay…but who is Ben? And who are you?” You still don’t understand. The man disappears as you are pulled into the bright circle of light.

* * *

You feel yourself fall then are caught by your shoulders. Your body somehow floats. Your eyes snap open. You are submerged in a liquid. A mask covers only your nose and mouth. It gives you air that fills your lungs. You turn your head and see you are in a tall cylindrical bacta tank. Your tank is in a sterile white room. A gray lined skinned Pau’an stands watching you. He smiles showing his jagged teeth. He presses a button and you feel yourself being hoisted up by the contraption holding your shoulder and underarms. 

Out of the bacta tank, he removes your air mask allowing you breathe in the air of the room. You find it hard to stand at first when the hoist begins to slack but you keep yourself upright. 

“Excellent. Excellent,” the Pau’an mutters repeatedly. 

“Who are you?” You glare at the stranger. 

“I am Dr. Freetoo Gartak,” He answers. 

“Do you work for the queen?” You step back from him. 

“I did. Now I serve Commander Ren,” He begins to undo hoist around you. 

Commander Ren? He just flipped sides? You watch the towering figure walk away and return to you with a white robe. You realize your nakedness and quickly cover yourself. 

“Where is Commander Ren?” 

“I am not sure where Commander Ren is. But I will notify him immediately of your recovery. But you should sit and rest,” the doctor pushes you down into a chair. He spins around and before you can speak again he is out the door. How can you sit and rest? You don’t know where he is or if he is safe. You don’t even feel like resting. You feel fine. Wait. You feel fine?

You feel no more pain in your body. You put your hand to your arm where the injection had been but you feel no hole. You open your robe and look at your body. There are no wounds. You wrap yourself back up. The bacta did its job well. You finger goes to your neck and your hairline. Your scar is still there. You sigh.  
You see towel near you and deice to dry off the excess bacta in your hair and on your skin. As you clean you think of that other world, the one between worlds. You think of the stranger and the things you saw. Your heart flutters at the specific one of Kylo telling you his feelings. It gives you such hope. You know you must to as the man said and give love. Of course he did ask you to save this Ben person. But he will not be as important than Kylo. You can think more about that Ben person after you see Kylo. You need to see Kylo.   


When you finish you put the towel back where you found it and take your seat. The door opens and Dr. Gartak returns. You stand seeing Kylo enter behind him still in his mask. You smile at him. 

“Sit,” Kylo points and you do. He turns to the doctor and dismisses him. Dr. Gartak bows his head and quickly exits again.

“You’re alright,” You start to get up again. 

“I told you to sit,” He points to the chair. You sit back down. He comes to the chair and puts his hand on the arm rests since you let her hands sit in your lap. His helmet comes close to your face. 

“What exactly happened in the bathroom?” He asks. 

“They attacked me all at once then injected me with six grams of liquid kesselstone. They said that if the queen couldn’t have me then no one could. So, I guess in my drugged state I killed them all. I then went looking for you because I was afraid that they would try to kill you too,” You answer honestly. “What has happened since then? Did they try to hurt you?”

“The queen is dead as her other guards. Kessel now belongs to the First Order,” He straightens up letting go of the arm rests. 

“They’re dead?”

“I killed them,” He takes the credit. Your eyes are the size of saucers.

“Why?” The question slips out before you can stop it.

“Because you’re mine. And no one takes what is mine.” 

His? Goosebumps come over your skin.

“Um…thank you, Kylo. Thank you for saving my life,” You speak sincerely. “How can I repay you?”

“Just stay by my side as you have,” His answer makes something flutter in your chest.

“I will,” You nod in agreement. A need grows in you. A need to see the face of the man who cares more about you than a planet full of coaxium. A need to hear the unmodulated voice of the man who calls you his. A need to feel the body of him who avenged you. You need Kylo. 

“Is there nothing else you want from me?”

“You’ve won so I cannot act on what else I want,” Kylo’s hands ball up. “And I offer my apologies.”

“I won? Why are you apologizing? What are you-” It hits you. Your bet. Has it been over twenty-four hours? You won? You won! He’s apologized and now he has to treat you like a trooper and he cannot touch you until you say so. Eight-Seven’s life is safe now as well. But you don’t care about your victory. You don’t care about Two-Six’s warning anymore. All you care about is Kylo.

“You should get dressed and we will return to Starkiller base,” He turns to leave. 

“Kylo,” You grab his arm. He turns back to look at you. You don’t move your hand or your eyes from him. “I’m not mad at you anymore.”  
He does not respond but you are not afraid to continue. 

“You said that I am yours. I won’t deny you or intimacy with you anymore. I want to be yours in every way even if it ends up hurting me.” You confess unashamed. Then you open your robe exposing yourself to him. “I want _only you_ to touch me.”

Kylo removes his helmet and places on the table close to him. You can’t read his face as it is like expressionless stone. He takes a step bringing you toe to toe. You have to tilt your head up to look at him in the eyes, those mesmerizing eyes. His hands go to either side of your face and he leans down. His lips are soft against yours. The glow you felt before your attack returns to your body.

The kiss turns rough as his hands leave your cheeks and pulls at your robe. You make it fall as his tongue invades your mouth. His arms go around your waist and lifts you. You wrap your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. One of his hands go to free his pulsating cock. He slips inside you. He thrusts up into you repeatedly. Your eyes roll back at being filled once more by him.

Kylo carries you toward the bacta tank for a little extra support. His hands are able to travel to your bottom. His hands squeeze your cheeks as he adds more power into his thrusts. You pull your mouth form his as you try to breathe. 

“Kylo. Oh, Kylo,” You inhale and exhale his name. 

“Whose are you?” he kisses your throat. 

“Yours. Yours, Kylo,” You moan. 

“Who do you want?”

“You, Kylo. Only you.” 

His hips grow wilder. Your back glides up and down the cool glass of the bacta tank with each thrust. You grab on to the hair on the back of his head. 

“You’re mine. You’re mine,” He chants against your skin. You close your eyes feeling your orgasm coming faster than you expected. You gasp his name over and over again. You scream out as you reach your peak. As if your orgasm was a signal, he cums mumbling your name. 

Kylo takes you off him so your feet can reach the floor. You still stay with your back against the tank. He leans against you. His forehead rests against the tank just above your head. You feel his hot breath on your forehead. The breath is replaced with a kiss. You look up but Kylo backs away. His attention is on returning his limp member to his trousers. You wish he wouldn’t put it away. You didn’t realize how much you missed it. How much you really missed him. How much you missed the feeling of it just being the two of you. How can you ever go a day without him fucking you? You must make him know you never want to go without him again.

“You need to get dressed. We have to get back to Starkiller Base,” He turns and starts to grab his helmet. 

“Kylo,” Your call of his name makes him pause. 

“Hm?”

You come to him and pull him down to kiss him once more. You pull away smiling. You see color in his cheeks. You guess that he wasn’t expecting that. He puts his helmet on and leave you alone to tend to yourself. 

Giddily, you wipe yourself clean with the towel you cleaned yourself off with earlier. You realize your hair has been down this whole time. You braid it quickly then dress yourself in your uniform. With helmet on and blaster in hand you exit the medical area. You walk in the hall not exactly sure where you are or how to get out of the palace. Some it begins to look familiar from when Balta led you to the fighting pit. You find your way to the entry hall then out the front doors. Kylo’s Silencer has somehow been transported to the palace. Did he move it? When did he have time? Well, he may have had a lot of time. You are still unsure of how long you were unconscious. 

Kylo begins climbing into the cockpit. You follow. Just as the last time, he sits with legs spread and you take your place between them. Unlike before, you enjoy the closeness of his body around you. He puts your blaster behind the chair as well as your helmet. He keeps his on. You lean against his chest and put your hands on his thighs to brace yourself. 

This time as you both travel through the Maw you find yourself enjoy to the turns and rolls. But you still hold onto him tightly just in case. Coming out the other side, you feel something hard on his thigh at your hand. You smirk knowing exactly what it is. 

“Kylo.” You address him trying to keep your voice nonchalant.

“Hm?” 

“What’s this?” You rub your hand over the outline of his erection. You see his hands tighten around his controls. You keep rubbing your hand over it lightly. 

“Do you want me to take care of it?” You ask coyly. He doesn’t answer but you sense it. You scoot up and away from Kylo leaving some room between you. You fiddle with his trousers till you can retrieve his member. Without a second thought you unbuckle your utility belt and let is fall below the foots rest. You remove your lower armor and pull down your pants. You leans back against him and sit down taking all of him inside you. You grip his thighs as you try to adjust. 

You roll your hips around then push yourself up with the help of his thighs and lower yourself back down. You repeat this over and over again slowly. You can hear Kylo’s breath becoming uneven in his mask. You find now is the time to tell him. It is time to tell him what you felt after the first fuck. 

“I missed your cock,” You inform him. “I could barely keep you and it out of my mind.”

You feel his cock twitch in you. Happily, you think. You have learned he does like praise.

“I hated not having you in me. I missed coming on your big cock,” You continue. He breathes in sharply. 

“Did you miss being inside me?” You ask selfishly. 

“Yes,” he hisses. You smile. 

“I don’t think I can ever go another day without you in me. Kylo, promise me you’ll fuck me at least once a day. Please, Kylo. Promise me,” You look back at him.

“I promise,” He makes you grin. He finally lets go of the controls and grabs your hips. With great force he brings you up then slams you down on his cock. 

“Harder. Harder, Kylo,” You find yourself begging. He stands up with his hands wrapped around your stomach. You fall against the red glass of his ships. Your palms and forehead are pressed against it. He steps down from the seat. He keeps his one arm under your stomach as you wrap your feet around his thighs for some more security. He thrusts into you freely and deeply. You notice the ship begins tilting down. It dives. The force presses you harder against the glass and makes Kylo go deeper into you. You would be terrified at the uncontrolled ship falling in space but you can barely focus as you feel yourself about to cum for the second time today. You scratch the glass as you are hit with your orgasm. Kylo pulls out and lets you fall to your knees on the floor. He cums and splatters the window above you. He staggers back to the seat. Sitting he grabs the controls and brings the ship back up and steadies it. He puts himself away. You look back at him then to the window where his cum is. Though you are satisfied with the powerful fuck, you wish he had come inside you. You pull up your pants and collect you armor and utility belt to replace it. You hear Kylo say your name. 

“Yes?”

“Clean the window.” He points to it. His cum is blocking his vision. You nod. You go to wipe it with your gloved hand but stop yourself. Instead you open your mouth and let you tongue wipe and collect the cum. You bring it into your mouth and swallow it. You repeat this till the window is clean. You go back to your spot at his lap. He lets one hand leave the control and strokes your head. He makes your head to lean against his shoulder. You are very content. But you do wonder if he’ll keep this new promise even after you arrive back at Starkiller base. You also wonder if you should tell him about what happened in the in between. 


	15. Back at the Base

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I really do appreciate them! Please enjoy this next chapter.

# Chapter 15

Arriving in the docking bay, your helmet and blaster were quickly returned to you so nothing would look improper once you and Kylo exit his silencer. Getting out of the Silencer, you stand to the side and allow Kylo to take a leading position. As the two of you walk, you see General Hux approaching you two.

“Welcome back,” General Hux does not smile and does not seem to truly mean the welcome. But when has General Hux ever been happy to see Kylo? General Hux turns and keeps at Kylo’s side. You follow behind.

“You’ve been gone for four days. I hope you didn’t botch our Kessel deal with Queen Moxa,” General Hux is not afraid to assume the worst.

“The queen is dead,” Kylo states emotionlessly.

“WHAT!” Hux’s voice echoes across the bay. Having the back of the bay, Kylo presses the elevator button.

“How did she die?” Hux regains his composure.

“I killed,” Kylo steps into the open elevator. You go in as do you.

“Why would you kill her? How are we to get our coaxium?” Hux brings up the possible problems.

“She was a murderous bitch. Now the First Order owns all of Kessel,” Kylo makes General Hux’s jaw drop as he presses another button inside the elevator.

“We own Kessel?”

“Yes. Send some men there to run it.”

The elevator door closes separating the both of you from the baffled Hux. Alone you step closer to Kylo. You let the back of your glove graze the back of his. You turn your palm slightly so if he wants to hold it, it will be easier.

“Are you trying to hold my hand?”

“No!” You pull your hand away and step away from him awkwardly. The elevator door opens. Kylo steps out and so do you.

“I am going to speak with the Supreme Leader. You are dismissed for the day,” Kylo frees you.

“Oh. You don’t want me to come with you?” You are slightly disappointed.

“No.” He turns his back to you

“Oh…okay…” You hand your head.

“I will find you later,” You hear him say. Your head perks up and you smile.

You look at the time and feel the hunger pains in your stomach. It is the perfect time to try and get some food.

In the cafeteria, you are given some green slime to ingest. You sit eat alone as the cafeteria is devoid of any other troopers. It is kind of nice to be alone.

“Seven-One,” You look up and smile seeing Two-Six has entered. She comes and sits across from you with her own tray of slime. She takes off her helmet and smiles to you.

“How have you been?” You ask.

“Fine. Bored. I’m stuck on patrol duty,” Two-Six replies.

“At least its not sanitation,” You look at the bright side.

“True. Then I’d be stuck FN-3181,” Two-Six’s face turns sour with the mention of the other stormtrooper.

“I know right. I’ve been his partner forever and now that I’m a personal guard I am free,” You grin.

“How has that been going? Commander Ren does not seem like an easy man to work with,” Two-Six assumes.

“It’s been…” You’re not sure how to describe it, “interesting…”

“Interesting? How?” Two-Six takes a scoop of her slime.

“Um…well, I’m getting to see different aspects of the First Order like I’ve been in meetings with Admirals and the diplomatic mission to Kessel.”

“Kessel? Was that where you’ve been the past few days?”

“Yeah. Commander Ren went to negotiate a deal with Queen Moxa for coaxium.”

“How did it go?”

“Well…it was a bit messy…”

“Messy? What happened?”

“Long story short- Queen Moxa agreed to Commander Ren’s terms but while they were eating, she found out that I was a girl and his guard not a slave. So she had me fight four her finest bodyguards. After defeating them she tried to buy me off Commander for 50% of Kessel’s coaxium production and a night in her bed because she wanted me to join her bodyguards and her harem.”

“WHAT!” Two Six spits out her slime then lowers her voice. “The queen of Kessel wanted you for her harem?”

“Yes. But Commander Ren told her ‘You could offer me all of Kessel and every night of your life, and I would not give her to you.’” You blush recalling his words again.

“Commander Ren said that?” Two-Six’s eyebrow point down.

“Yes.”

“Hm…so happened next?”

“Then I was supposed to be bathed and returned to Commander but two more of then three of the Queen’s guards and a slave girl tried to fight and ended up giving me an injection of six grams of liquid kesselstone.”

“That much can kill you!” Two-Six gasps.

“I know. While hyped on it, I was able to kill my attackers. Then I passed out and I woke up in-” You stop. You cannot tell her about that other world and the handsome stranger. “in a bacta tank. Next thing I know, Commander Ren has killed Queen Moxa and has taken over Kessel.”

“He killed the queen? Over her trying to have you killed?” Her eyebrows pointed deeper down. You try not to smile.

“I don’t know,” You shrug. Two-Six grabs your wrist. Her unblinking eyes don’t leave yours.

“Is the officer you’ve been fucking Commander Ren?”

You freeze. You can’t admit to it. She’ll be mad that you have continued this affair despite her warning. She’ll be horrified to know it is Kylo Ren of all people. You must deny it.

“Me and Commander Ren? Ha! No way!” You pull away from her and laugh it off.

“Officers don’t care enough to even give us decent food. Why would one kill a queen and pass on that much coaxium over a trooper? We are expendable. Even a trooper as good as you are replaceable. I cannot think of any other reason for him to do this than that you two having a romantic relationship.” Two-Six makes her point. You bite your tongue unsure of what to say.

“It is him,” You admit in a whisper. You two sit silently till you feel a need to spill your guts bubbling in you. No one is around and you can trust Two-Six. Right?

“I tried to end things with him but then everything on Kessel happened and I realized that I don’t want to be without him. Even if I get hurt, I want to be with him, Two-Six. I can never go on like I did before now that I’ve been his,” You confess. She takes your hands in hers. Tears come to her eyes. 

“I know this feeling. I felt it for FN-0878. I still do deep down. But we aren’t meant to love. We are meant to serve the First Order.”

“I know. But can I not serve by showing love to Commander Ren?”

“It’s too dangerous. Unless he is going to claim you and put you under his protection, you are in danger of reconditioning and worse. And if he does claim you and give you his protection, you are still at his mercy. The whole First Order knows how his temper is. One wrong word and he can kill you with a snap of his fingers.”

“I understand, Two-Six. But I-I am willingly to risk it. Please, as my friend, keep my secret,” You request.

“I will,” She promises without even a pause.

“Thank you.” You squeeze her hands.

“But promise me, you will be careful.”

“I will.”

“Oh, kriff. There’s FN-3181. I’m getting out of here,” Two-Six notices the other trooper coming into the cafeteria. She puts on her helmet and takes her tray. With her gone, FN-3181 quickly comes to replace her. He takes off his helmet to reveal a scowling face.

“Where the hell have you been?” He slams his tray against the table.

“Woah.” You lean back from him.

“You have been gone for four days!”

“Not that its any of your business but I was on a mission to Kessel with Commander Ren,” You answer disliking this interrogation.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” You don’t understand his hostility. “What the hell is wrong with you today, Eight-One?”

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m so confused. Why are you upset with me?”

He pulls something from his torso armor and slams it on the table. He pulls his hand away and you see a paid of crusty, stiff panties.

“What is that?” You lean away from it.

“These are your panties. I was cleaning the docking bay when you left for your mission and found these in the bathroom’s trashcan after you left it. They’re yours, aren’t they,” He crosses his arms. You are utterly disgusted. You know they are yours but you must not claim them.

“I’ve never seen these before in my life,” You state calmly.

“Oh, really? You were the only female to use that bathroom that day before I cleaned the bathroom,” He glares.

“Then maybe they were left there by someone else form the night before. These aren’t mine and I think it’s disgusting that you took and kept a pair of women’s underwear form a trash can and kept it for four days,” You start to stand up. He grabs your wrist.

“I know that they are yours. They have your number right there,” He points to the numbers on the underwear’s band. You bite the inside of your cheek. You forgot that they label the underwear for the laundry droids will return the clothes to the right troopers.

“Who’s cum is this? Who have you been fucking?” His grip only tightens with his questions. It’s so apparent that he is jealous. You pull away from him.

“Those are not mine and I’m not fucking anyone,” You grab your helmet and start to leave the cafeteria. FN-3181 gets up and grabs your arm to stop you.

“Why are you being like this? I’m only asking because I care about you. I don’t want you getting sent away like that Two-Six. Tell me who you’re fucking and I’ll get rid of them. Then you can be save and we can be together,” He makes his case. You look back him.

“Why would you think I’d want to be with you?” You yank your arm out of his grip.

“Don’t pretend you don’t. You’ve wanted to be with me since we were teenagers and you kissed me. I know you’ve been acting distant since then but that’s because you don’t want us to get caught. I get it. But that doesn’t mean you need to turn to another man to fuck.”

“You are really confused. I only kissed you when we were kids because I was curious and you were there. I have no sexual or romantic interest in you at all,” You are as clear as you can be.

“You’re lying,” He refuses to accept your statement.

“I’m not. You’re nothing but a coworker to me. Now, leave me alone and throw away that disgusting pair of panties,” you point back to the table. He grabs your wrist again. You’ve had enough. You punch him sending him to the floor and making him release you.

“Don’t come near me again or I’ll do worse to you,” You lean over him then walk away. You sigh as you enter the hallway. You have to be more careful in disposing evidence of your and Kylo’s relations. Also you must keep a watch on that crazy FN-3181.

“Seven-One!” You grin seeing FN-2187 up ahead of you waving while pulling a cleaning cart behind him. You wave and walk faster to meet him. You are so glad you don’t have to execute him.

“Hey, Eight-Seven.”

“Where have you been?” He asks.

“No where special. What about you?” You change the focus to him.

“Just been here cleaning toilets,” He answers with a snort. Even with his helmet on you know he giving a half smile. It might be nice to spend your free time with Eight-Seven.

“What are you doing right now? I’m free for the moment. Is the offer to show me Hux’s cat still on the table?” You inquire recalling the offer he made before you left that day for Kessel.

“Oh, um, yeah! I’ll show you Millicent,” Eight-Seven decides.

“Great! Lead the way!” You put your hand out gesturing for him to walk on. He does and pulls his cart behind him.

Eight-Seven stops outside General Hux’s quarters and leaves the cart outside before using the all-access key to enter. You note mentally is much like Kylo’s. It’s almost exactly the same but there are towers and scratching posts and a litter box. Then you see her sitting atop one of the towers. She looks down at you with her dark brown eyes. You smile. It has been a long while since you’ve seen such a cute creature.

“Hi, Millicent,” Eight-Seven waves to the creature. She meows as if to greet him back.

“Hi, Millicent,” You try the greeting. She meows and jumps down from the tower near your feet. She sniffs as your feet before rubbing herself against your legs.

“How sweet,” You squat down to pet the friendly cat.

“It’s funny how friendly she is considering who her owner is,” Eight-Seven remarks with a chuckle. Using your thumb to stroke the bridge of her nose up to the back of her head, Millicent purrs.

“So sweet. So sweet,” You murmur back to the cat who thoroughly enjoy your rubbing. Eight-Seven sits down and gives the cat some attention as well. She seems to like it.

“Okay, we need to go. I already cleaned Hux’s bathroom and I don’t want to get caught bringing non sanitation troopers into General Hux’s private quarters,” Eight-Seven stands up.

“I understand. Bye, Millicent,” You give her one more stroke before standing up. You pat your hands to get off the orange fur that is left on your gloves. You and Eight-Seven carefully sneak out of General Hux’s quarters. You smile having gotten out.

“FN-1971,” You see Slip and Zeroes approaching you. You wave but they do not wave back.

“Hey, guys…”

“You need to come with us,” Zeroes states.

“Why?”

“Captain Phasma wants to see you, immediately,” Zeroes answers.

“Oh…okay…I guess I’ll see you later, Eight-Seven.”

“Okay. See ya,” Eight-Seven doesn’t move. Slip and Zeroes turn around and you begin walking with them down the hall.

“What does Captain Phasma want with me?” You inquire unto your fellow troopers. Zeroes shrugs.

“Maybe you are getting another promotion,” Slip gives the small hope.

I don’t think there is any position higher than being Kylo’s personal guard. You think to yourself.

The walk is long and quiet. You three finally stop reaching a conference room. You enter while the men stay outside. You see Captain Phasma inside then frown seeing FN-3181 standing next to her. You notice on the table the damn pair of panties you told FN-3181 to toss.

“FN-1971,” Captain Phasma addresses you. You salute her.She nods her head and you return your hand to your side.

“FN-3181, here, has made some claims about unseemly behavior from you. Behavior not acceptable for a First Order trooper.”

“What sort of claims has he made, Captain?” You glare at Eight-One despite him being unable to see your face.

“Well, he states you have broken the call to be celibate and has brought me this pair of your underwear covered in…evidence of a sexual relationship.”

You know you must figure a way to explain this away and fast.

“Well, Captain, I would not view that as true evidence. FN-3181 must have entered my room, taken a pair of my underwear and masturbated into them leaving his own semen then claim that I am having a sexual relations with another officer when I am not,” You are surprised at how quickly you come up with the alternate possibility.

“I did not-” Eight-One begins but Captain Phasma raises her hand silencing him.

“Why would FN-3181 do such a thing?”

“I do not know, Captain. Perhaps he is jealous of my promotion and seeks to knock me down. Maybe he is still embarrassed from when I defeated him in front of the cadets. Maybe is upset because I do not want to have a sexual relationship with him. That is a question for him,” You list a few reasons. Captain Phasma turns her attention to FN-3181.

“Captain, I hold no personal grudge against FN-1971. And I did not masturbate into that underwear. I swear. If you would pull up the security footage from the women’s bathroom in the docking bay from four days ago you will see her putting this pair of underwear into the trash can,” FN-3181 brings up the only way he can prove his claims. You swallow hard.

“There are no cameras in the bathrooms, FN-3181,” Phasma gives you relief. FN-3181 balls his hands frustrated.

“Well, if this is not proof of her misconduct I know there is evidence in her room!”

“Oh? And what sort of evidence is there?” Captain Phasma crosses her arms.

“Nothing of sexual misconduct but of her other misconduct, Captain.”

“Other misconduct?” Captain is getting annoyed.

“Yes, Captain, I know that she has some contraband items in her room.”

Shit. How does he know? You frown.

“Then let’s go see it,” Captain leads you all out.

Your stomach twists and turns as you three come closer and closer to your dorm’s room. Your palms sweat beneath your gloves.

“Open your door,” Captain Phasma gestures to the metal thing separating you and the possible discovery of your infractions. You obey and then step aside allowing Captain Phasma to enter. She orders for you and FN-3181 to stay outside till she completes her investigation. The door shuts behind her.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You turn to FN-3181.

“Nothing is wrong with me. I have done nothing wrong. You on the other hand need to be reconditioned. I should have reported you when I saw you smuggling comic books onto base. But now that your behavior has grown obscene, I cannot stand by.”

“Obscene?” You laugh.

“Yes, obscene. You’ve become an obscene whore.”

You don’t know how but the moment your ears registered the slur your hand was out and FN-3181 is slammed against the closed door. You have no physical hold on him but just like with the women in the bathroom on Kessel, you are constricting his throat. The door slides open and Captain Phasma stands there. She drops the discovered Kade Genti comics when she sees FN-3181 choking in front of her by your force. You drop your hand and release him seeing your captain. Your eyes dart between the fallen comics, your captain and the gasping FN-3181.

Shit. Shit. Shit.


	16. Apprentice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 16

With FN-3181 and Captain Phasma pointing their blasters at your sides, you are escorted toward a command room. You swallow hard knowing the multiple possibilities that lay ahead for you, none good. 

The room’s door slides open allowing your three to enter the command room. Hux is there with a few petty officers. General Hux turns around confused at the arrival.

“Why are you here, Captain Phasma? And with Commander Ren’s guard?”

“Charges have been brought against FN-1971 for sexual misconduct and smuggling contraband,” Phasma presents the charges. 

“And? What has this to do with me? You can send her to reconditioning without my permission,” Hux rolls his eyes. 

“Well, sir, we have also discovered that she is force-sensitive,” Phasma reveals the complication.

“What?” One red eyebrow shoots up. “How do you know?”

“I saw her force choking FN-3181 here,” Phasma answers gesturing to the other present trooper.

“Force choking? A nasty trick she must have learned from Ren…But how was her ability not discovered until today? Shouldn’t this have been discovered in her training?”

“Unlike the other sensitive, she has managed to hide it well.”

“And you said that she was force-choking this other trooper?” Hux look to the male trooper.

“Yes, sir.”

“That is unacceptable. We already have one force wielding strangler on base. We don’t need another one,” Hux’s hands go behind his back. 

“What should we do then, sir?”

Hux pauses and stares at you. His jaw tightens then relaxes.

“She must be executed. Immediately,” He decides the thing you most dread. Your heart stops.

“Call in today’s executioner,” Phasma speaks into her wrist. 

“Sir, please,” You start to plead but he holds up his hand to silence you. 

“I have made my decision.”

“I do not believe Commander Ren will be very happy with this decision, sir,” You dare to bring up the only one you know who could undo this command. Hux’s face scrunches up at the mention of his superior. 

“He will understand,” Hux does not yield. Chills come over your body. You are going to die. You knew it. You shouldn’t have let yourself get so upset at FN-3181 for being a dick. You should have been careful like you promised Two-Six.

He lied to me. That man lied to me. You think on the blonde stranger. Your eyes water thinking of the wonderful visions he had shown you. You fight side by side with Kylo using the force. You won’t ever hear him tell you the most powerful phrase in the universe. You’ll never find out who that boy with Kylo was. You won’t be able to figure out who Ben is either. You will just die surrounded by people who do not care about you and then your body will be put in an unmarked grave. 

FN-2199 -Nines- enters the room. He is the one on executioner duty today. Phasma pushes down on your shoulder and you go down onto your knees. You remove your helmet so your head be exposed. You feel Nines place his blaster against the back of your head. You close your eyes and hold in your tears. You don’t want them to see you cry, especially not FN-3181. 

You imagine Kylo in your mind. You’d rather your last thoughts be of him and not these assholes. 

Kylo, I’m sorry. 

“Stop!” You open your eyes knowing the owner of the voice. Your heart leaps. Nines lowers his gun from your head. You look back and see Kylo in the room. You smile. 

“What is going on here?” You can feel the anger radiating off Kylo. 

“This trooper has proven to have broken the rules set for troopers and to be force sensitive. Her sensitivity has just been discovered after she used them in attempt to kill her fellow trooper. She is threat and I am dealing with it,” Hux explains and defends his actions. You do not look at Kylo as the truth of your sensitivity is given. What would Kylo think?

“It is not up to you to decide her fate. She is my guard and I am aware of her sensitivity,” Kylo surprises all including yourself that he knows. How could he know? You hid it so well. 

“In fact, Supreme Leader is interested in her. I am to take her to speak with him now,” Kylo brings out further surprises. You stand up as Hux begins to turn red. Kylo begins to leave and you go with him. No one dares to stop you. You cover your head. 

You hold your breath as you walk alone in the hall with Kylo. Your hands tremble. You are not sure why. Stepping into the elevator, Kylo grabs ahold of your arms and presses you back against the elevator wall. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were force sensitive?” He keeps his hold on you. 

“I was afraid that I’d be executed like the other troopers who were,” You confess, “So I’ve always hidden it as much as I could.”

“You could have told me.”

“How was I supposed to know you wouldn’t kill me or turn me to Captain Phasma and General Hux for them to kill me?”

Neither of you speak. 

“How did you find out?” You finally ask Kylo.

“The Supreme Leader sensed it and informed me moments ago,” He replies. He didn’t know but the Supreme Leader did? How? You’ve never even met the Supreme Leader. 

“Oh…so does he really want to speak with me?”

“Yes. He does. We shouldn’t wait any longer,” Kylo lets you go as the doors open. You grab his arm.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I really am. Please, don’t be upset with me.”

“I’m not. I just wish you would have told me,” He keeps walking. You follow him and quickly arrive to a door you have never reached before. You gulp as the door opens.

Stepping inside you see the giant projection of Supreme Leader Snoke. You cringe seeing the pale, bald man with a large gash in his forehead and holes in the side of his face so greatly enlarged. He golden robe practically hangs off his skeletal body. His cold blue eyes go to you. You kneel before him as Kylo does. You bow your head. 

“Let me see your face, child,” Snoke speaks to you. You pull off your helmet and look up to him. He smiles revealing his crooked and disproportionate teeth. You try to keep your face neutral before the Supreme Leader. 

“Ah. I see why my young apprentice has become fond of you.” The statement and the way that Snoke leers makes your skin crawl. You lower your eyes. 

“Are you afraid of me?”

“No, sir. I am just trying to be respectful,” You keep your eyes down. 

“Hm…do you know why I have summoned you here?”

“Because I am sensitive to the force, sir.”

“More than sensitive I should say after you killed those women on Kessel who tried to kill you.”

How does he know about that? You wonder but Snoke continues speaking. 

“Do you know what happens to force sensitive troopers?”

“They are executed, sir,” You reply. 

“No, they are not.”

What? You look up confused. 

“They are selected to be apart of Project Harvester. They are then sent to be trained in the dark side of the force,” Snoke reveals the truth. 

“But, the girl I knew who was force sensitive was killed, sir,” You inform him of the incident. 

“An error I am sure. A terrible one at that as it has caused you to fear the power you have and should have been able to embraced. This must be remedied.”

“How so, sir? Will I be sent away?” You try not to frown at the thought of being separated from Kylo. Snoke looks to Kylo then you with pressed lips. He smirks. He chuckles lowly to himself. 

“You would not like that would you?” He knows.

“No, sir. I am content to remain untrained if it means I may stay at my Commander’s side and provide him my protection,” You answer honestly. 

“So loyal and passionate. These are good qualities in a student. These qualities that can be harnessed in the study of the dark side of the force,” Snoke notes.

“Let me be here teacher,” Kylo stands and speaks up to the Supreme Leader. Your heart jumps. He could teach you?

“You?” Snoke raises his white eyebrows.

“I can show her the dark side and teach her the ways of the force so that she may be used for the betterment of the First Order,” Kylo makes his offer. 

“An apprentice for my apprentice? Hm…” Snoke begins to consider the option. You glance over to Kylo. You can’t tell if he is looking at you since he still wears his mask.

“As for now, I have decided that she will be your student. She will no longer be considered a trooper and will be known as your apprentice,” He makes you start to smile but you control yourself not to do so. Kylo nods in acceptance of his new role. 

“You will not be referred to as FN-1971 anymore. You will be called…” Snoke pauses to come up with a name then smiling to himself he says, “Sly.”

You nod your head as to accept the new name though it is nowhere as pretty as the one Kylo gave you.

“I will check on her training so train her well, my apprentice,” Snoke speaks to Kylo now. 

“I will.”

“Good,” Snoke leans back and his hologram disappears. You look to Kylo with a smile. His mask faces you. 

“You will call me Master now as I am yours,” Kylo informs you.

“Yes, Master?” You grin. You don’t put your helmet back on but carry it under your arm.

“You will new clothes and new accommodations,” Kylo turns to start leaving. 

“I do not mind my current clothes and room, Master,” You point out.

“I mind them. You are not to be confused with a trooper anymore, Sly,” He calls you by the name Snoke gave you. It just does not suit you. You both exit the room and arrive at the elevator.

“Master,” You call him as he presses the button for the elevator. 

“Hm?”

“I understand that the Supreme Leader has given me that name, but…could please still call me by my other name that you gave me?” You request. He steps into the elevator. You do too as the doors close, he puts his gloved hand to your cheek. He says the name you prefer. 

“I will only call you this when we are alone,” He agrees. 

“Thank you, Master.”

“And you will call me Kylo when we are alone.”

“Yes, M-Kylo.”

He removes his hand from your cheek. You just grin for the rest of the ride. The elevator door opens. General Hux and Captain Phasma stand waiting. You don’t know how they knew you two would be arriving at this floor. 

“What has the Supreme Leader decided, Ren?” General Hux does not even allow you two to exit the elevator before asking. Kylo emerges from the elevator with you at his side. 

“She is my apprentice now and no longer a stormtrooper. She will be called ‘Sly’ as designated by the Supreme Leader,” Kylo announces the changes. General Hux eyes grow double before returning to their normal size. Kylo turns to the still, Captain Phasma. His force pulls the pieces of your armor off you and collects it into a pile before Captain Phasma’s feet. He even uses the force to take away your blaster and helmet to put before her. You are left in your black clothes and bare boots. 

“She will no longer be needing these, Captain Phasma.”

“Yes, Sir,” Phasma does not bend down to collect the items. 

Kylo walks between your two superiors. You go with him trying not to smile. As you pass you, displeasure is evident on Hux’s face. He must fear you will be another “force wielding strangler” like he called you earlier. You smirk once beyond them. 

To his quarters, Kylo leads you. You stand at the door unsure of what to do or say. Kylo pulls off his helmet and sighs as he does. You enjoy the view of his face. He puts it on his desk then removes his gloves. You hope he will remove more. 

“Tell me, what you have done with the force,” He takes of his cowl and lays it on his desk chair. 

“Um…well, I’ve always been able to moves things with my mind like I can turn on the shower, turn on the lights and call things to me. But I always do those things in private.”

“What was Snoke referring to about Kessel?” Kylo takes off his outer layer and puts on the chair where his cowl rests. 

“Um…” You lower your eyes, “After I was injected, I lashed out and somehow I was able to you’re the force to break the necks of my attackers. It wasn’t intentional.”

“Don’t be ashamed. They deserved it. What else have you done?” His words make you lift your eyes.

“I force choked FN-3181.”

“Why?” Kylo takes off his belt. 

“Because he called me an obscene whore.” The slur makes tears prick your eyes. But you won’t cry over it. Still, Kylo freezes. His jaw tightens. 

“FN-3181, you said?”

“Yes…” What will Kylo do?

“He will be dealt with,” Kylo’s voice is calm. Your chest warms at the statement. Was he going to defend your honor?

“Has there been other interaction with the force besides these physical acts?” He returns the focus to your force conversation. 

“Well…I assume it is the force but I have been having visions,” You admit. 

“Visions? What sort?”

“Um…well, some of what I assume is the past and some I think might be of the future,” You keep it vague.

“When did these begin?”

“On Hoth.”

“Hoth?”

“Yes. When I touched your lightsaber I had my first vision,” You hope he does not grow anger recalling your unauthorized touching of his personal weapon. He does not. In fact he comes closer with curiosity in his eyes. 

“What did you see?”

You swallow before answering.

“It was all very quick. But I saw you as a child with your parents. Then I saw your father leave and your mother focusing on a different group. There was a blonde man trying to kill you as you slept but you defended yourself. Then there was Supreme Leader Snoke. Then you were in a room and there was this terrible pain in my palm but wasn’t mine. In it was fractured crystal bleeding then it was put in your lightsaber. That was all I saw when I touched it,” You inform him nervous of what he might say. Kylo stands still but his eyes give away his surprise. 

“Did you recognize them?”

“No. Should I have?” 

“No. Have you had any other visions?”

“Yes…”

“Tell me.”

“Well, I had another on Hoth…” You hope he does not ask what of. 

“When and of what?” He does exactly what you don’t want. You bite your lip before answering.

“Right after we had sex, I saw your father.”

“My father?”

“Yes, He was sitting across from me and talking to me but I know it wasn’t to me that he was actually talking.”

“What did he say?”

“He was talking about how the first time you make love you should keep your eyes open and on each other,” Your skin burns. Color comes to Kylo’s cheeks as well. 

“You saw that?” he is mortified. 

“Not on purpose,” You throw your hands up with your palms facing outward. He turns away with his hand over his mouth. 

“Have you had any more visions?” He asks still not looking at you. 

“Yes. The night I found Darth Vader’s helmet.” This makes Kylo turn back around his hands lowered.   
“What did you see?” He is not angry just a bit enthusiastic. 

“I saw Darth Vader. He was killing people around me. I don’t know who they were. He was about to strike me down but then-” You stop. 

“Then what?” He presses. 

“He turned into you. You were trying to kill me. You had this horrible scar on your face and your eyes-” You begin to tremble. Kylo frowns seeing your shaking. 

“That is why you were so afraid when I confronted you,” He realizes. You swallow and start to turn from him. 

“Not all visions are true,” he says something similar to the stranger form the other world.

“I hope it was not,” You keep yourself turned from him. He puts his hand on your shoulder and makes you look at him. He puts his hands on your cheeks.

“It is not,” He shakes his head then dips it down. He kisses you. It is so gentle like he how it was on Kessel after you told him you only wanted him. But just like Kessel, it turns more passionate. You don’t mind. It is reassuring.

Kylo pulls away and stares at your face. His hands slide down to cup your jaw.

“We should begin your training now,” He pulls his hands away. 

“What?” You frown. You thought that you two could just get in the bed and have some fun. 

“Show me what you can do with the force,” He steps back from you several steps. 

“How?” 

“Use it to take off your clothes,” He instructs. You see a half grin coming on his face. You see what he is trying to lead to and you don’t mind this plan.   
You take a deep breath before looking down at yourself. You must figure out what to start with. Boots. You lift up your left foot and focus on it. 

Off. You think and hold your hand out to your shoe. It slips off. You smile and move to your other boot. It slips off as well. You look to Kylo who does not give any implication that he is impressed or not. You turn your focus to your pants. You let your hands hover at your hips. You lower them and your pants go with them. You step out of your lower pants. You realize you never got any replacement underwear. But you know your exposed lower half is nothing new for Kylo to see. You raise up your arms fold your fingers over your palm. As you raise your fingers, your top slowly raises above your head and raised arms. It falls to the floor after if passes over you. Naked you put your hands to your sides allowing Kylo to see all.

“Very good. Now, undress me.”

You grin and look him over. You know you should start with his boots. You hold out your hand toward the shoes. 

Off. 

Nothing happens. 

Off. 

Nothing happens. 

Off. 

Nothing happens. 

Off!

Still nothing happens. You bite your inner cheek. 

Off!

Nothing.

Come off! 

Kylo’s body falls to the floor. His boots fly off and you barely dodge them. You look at floored Kylo who’s clothes have also torn themselves off him. His fits up and looks at his nude self as you cover your mouth. He looks up to you.

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to take off your boots,” You blush mortified. Then a sound comes from Kylo. One you haven’t heard before. It starts as snort then grows into a chuckle then a full laugh. He covers his mouth as he laughs. Still you can see his white teeth and smile between his long fingers. He stops. An amused smile rests on his face. 

“Now try to pull me toward you,” Kylo gives the new order. 

“Pull you to me?” You worry about the possibility of pulling off his skin instead of him bringing him to you. 

“Yes. If you can force choke three people at once, you should be able to bring me to you when I am just a few steps from you.”

You nod your head and hold out your hands toward him. You take a deep breath. 

Come to me.

Kylo’s body starts slowly wavering then sliding millimeter by millimeter toward you. You start o smile seeing your slight success. Then in an instant his body flies at you full force. 

“Ow,” You wince having fallen to the floor. Kylo lays atop you. Your legs somehow naturally spread apart allowing his lower half to land there while his torso crushes your upper half. Not that you mind too much. He pushes himself up allowing you to breathe without the weight of him on you. He holds a smile. A very nice one at that. 

“I did it!” You beam. 

“Yes, you did. You just need to work on your control,” He remarks. You nod your head taking in the helpful critique. 

“I will, _Master_.” You feel him grow hard against you. You allow your right legs to raise up and hooks it over his hip and pulls his hips down toward your own. 

“You’re always so eager,” Kylo shakes his head as if disappointed in your action. 

“How can I not be? Everything is better when you’re inside me,” You watch him begin to grin but he leans back into his knees and unhooks your leg from his hip. He sits on the floor. You push yourself up to sit up as well with your smile lost.

“Aren’t we going to fuck? I mean you look just as eager as me,” You nod to his erection. 

“We’re going to fuck, but you have to make me,” He states. 

“Make you?”

“Use the force to make me touch you.”

“I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I give my consent for you to do anything you want with my body,” He squelches that concern. You bite your lower lip and eye his long and thick cock. You really want it inside but you have to use the force to control him. You have to think hard on how to do this with going to forceful and ending up with an injury on accident. 

Cautiously, you hold your hand out with your palm toward yourself. You curl your fingers slowly drawing Kylo’s head toward you. Your heart pounds as you nervously watch his face coming closer to yours. You get on your knees as he approaches. He also gets on his knees. You manage to stop his face just before he can headbutt you. You are proud and you reward yourself by kissing him. 

You pull away and without touching you force him down flat on his back You are surprised that he didn’t just simply hit the floor. You see his cock still standing up tall and strong like a tower. But you can’t just hop on it. You need to practice the force. 

You straddle him and press his cock up against his belly as you rub your spread lower lips against the now exposed underside. You notice his eyes watching your hip then move to you swaying breasts. You hold your hand out and bring up his hands into the air. You have them come to hold your breasts. You wiggle your fingers and his fingers begin to knead your breasts. You hum at how good it feels. But you want more. 

You wave your hands and make Kylo half sit up. You bring him up just enjoy that your lips can meet. You love the taste of his tongue. You lay your hands on the back of his neck to keep him there and so your fingers and play with the hair that hangs down to there. His fingers go rogue and begin playing with your nipples. You don’t complain at the uninstructed play. 

Your pussy grows impatient with simply rubbing against his hot organ. You know you must fill it. You stop rubbing and putting your hands on Kylo’s shoulders, you push yourself up allowing his cock to once again stand straight up. You lower yourself onto it slowly. You hear Kylo groan in your kiss as you engulf him. You push off his shoulders each time you move yourself up then back down onto him. You really weren’t lying when you told him everything is better with him inside you. 

Although you love his kiss and touches you feel the need to just feel his cock. You pull away from Kylo’s lips and with a little movement of your hands you send him back down flat on his back. His hands go down with him. You put your hands flat on his chest for support as you ride his cock. You lift yourself up just to come back down. As you come back down you rotate your hips in s circular way allowing him to stay deep within you longer. You watch Kylo’s face as you repeat this. His eyes are closed and his lips are parted as he breathes heavily. Color has come to his face. You love it. 

“How does it feel, Kylo?” You ask. 

“Good,” He murmurs. 

“Do you like my pussy swallowing up you big cock?” You grind yourself against him. He just nods. 

“Huh?” You pretend like you need an auditory answer. 

“Yes,” he opens his eyes almost angrily. You smirk. You slow your movements. His lips press together. You can tell he wants you to move faster. You enjoy that you get to control the pace at this moment. You can see his hands starting to move up. They probably want to grab your hips but with a wave of your hands, they go back down and press against the floor. 

“No. No. I am in control, Kylo,” You scold him playfully. He glares at you. 

“Oh, don’t look so displeased, you should be proud I am using the force so well,” You point out your success. 

“I am but that doesn’t mean I want to lay her unable to do anything else,” He expresses his problem. 

“What? You don’t like watching your cock disappear inside of me?” You stop moving leaving your cunt to hover over his tip. He purses his lips. You want him back inside and that way his cock twitches gives away that he wants back inside too. But you won’t lower yourself back down till he admits he wants you.

“If your unhappy, then I’ll just get up and finish myself off,” You give the alternative and start to move as if you will get off. 

“No.”   
You stop at the word. 

“No? What do you want me to do, Kylo?” You ask feigning ignorance though you love your ability to get to tease your new master.

“Continue,” he gives the one word answer. 

“Continue what? Getting off you?” 

“No. Get your tight cunt back around my cock,” He finally says it. You oblige and consume his cock. Smiling you ride him again. You increase your speed just a little. The more you move, the more friction there is and the more you feel your climax coming. You lean back and rest on your hands on his thigh while letting your other go so your fingers can play with your clit. At this angle Kylo and easily watch your cunt swallowing his cock repeatedly. His eyes watch intently. You don’t fail to notice.

“You like this? You like watching me play with myself as you fuck me?” You ask breathlessly.

“I do,” He grunts. You bite your lip and increase your speed. His intense eyes focused solely on you is almost too much to bear. 

“I’m going to cum, Kylo. I’m going to cum,” You whine not sure how much longer you will be able to last. Coming down one more time on him, your walls clench and you cry out as your orgasm takes over you. You almost double over as you let it hit. You try to catch your breath. You still feel Kylo’s dick impaling you. You sit up once you feel you can breathe again. You look down at Kylo. 

With the slightest of ease, he reverses your positions. Now you are on your back looking up at him. His hands are on your hips. His fingers digging into your flesh. He moves himself out then back into you violently. He is fast and hard. You grasp his biceps but he waves his hands pinning your hands above your head. He puts his hand under your back and makes it arch up making you bouncing breasts rise up. His teeth grab ahold of one of your nipples. He chews on it as he keeps pounding into you. It’s painful but also strangely pleasurable. His teeth are replaced with his lips that suck on it. He pulls away with a pop. 

He pulls out of you just for a moment. His force grabs your ankles and cross them before is lifts up your legs. Your calves rest against his shoulder. His hands return to your hips. He then slams his ramrod hard cock back into your glistening folds. Your eyes roll back into your head. You feel yourself growing closer again. 

“You’re so fucking tight,” He huffs not slowing his movements. 

“You’re so big. Oh, Kylo, you’re going to make me cum again,” You inform him gasping. His thumb goes down to your swollen and clit. He starts playing with it. Although you had played with not that long ago, his fingers seem to know how better to please the nub than you do. Your body tightens as he plays with the bundle of nerves. You allow your eyes to go back to his. You don’t want to look away from him. You want to melt and become fully become one with him. You are practically one now in this moment. You feel the force release your hands so you can let them go onto his shoulders. 

“I’m going to cum,” His hips grow wilder as he lets slip his impending problem. 

“Cum inside me, Kylo! Fill me up! Please, cum in me!” You beg desperately. He uncrosses your legs allowing them to fall to his sides. He leans down and kisses you. You feel yourself cum just as he gives his final thrust. Sure enough, he fulfills your request. His mouth stays on yours even as his cock grows limp in you. He pulls it out and breaks the kiss. 

“Well done, my apprentice,” He strokes your cheek with his thumb. 

“Thank you, _Master_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as the Supreme leader has given the reader the name 'Sly' so the reader will be referred to by that name a few times just as she had been referred to as FN-1971/Seven-One. But of course, Kylo will still call the reader by your name. :)
> 
> (And yes, Sly is a reference to a different Star Wars character.)


	17. Qotsisajak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you are all healthy and happy out there. Thank you for the kudos and comments! Please, enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 17

You stand in Kylo’s bathroom washing your hands after re-braiding your hair and using the facilities. You look at your reflection in the mirror. You can see the bruises that are in the shape of Kylo’s fingers on your hips. You enjoy the sight. You exit the bathroom and find Kylo sitting at his desk. You come up behind him and wrap your arms around him allowing your crossed hands to rest on his chest. You bring your cheek to his cheek. You purposely press your breasts against his back shoulders. 

“What are you doing?” You ask. You see him writing on some paper. His penmanship is beautiful. 

“I’m writing down the Qotsisajak for you to learn,” He responds as he keeps writing. 

“What is the Qotsisajak?”

“The Sith code. Snoke had me learn it as well,” He finally finishes and puts away his writing utensil. He blows gently on it to make the ink dry. You look at the drying words. 

Peace is a lie. There is only passion.  
Through passion I gain strength.  
Through strength I gain power.  
Through power I gain victory.  
Through victory my chains are broken.  
The force shall free me.

Supreme Leader Snoke had called you ‘passionate’. He said that quality would be good in learning the dark side of the force. If you use your passion, will you be free? But what is the point of being free if there will be no peace? According to this peace is a lie.

“You look troubled. What is it?” Kylo has turn his head to look at your face.

“This code, says there is no peace. What is the point of being free is you cannot live in peace?” You let go his neck and straighten up. He turns his chair around. 

“Peace is a lie. No one has ever truly been at peace and there will never be peace. Everyone struggles with their emotions and that leaves them warring in themselves so how can they have peace? And when it comes to having general peace in the galaxy there are too many people of varying ideals that always lead to rebellions and wars,” Kylo gives his dark truth. 

“But isn’t the point of the First Order to bring peace to the galaxy?” You think on your training. He gives a wry smile.

“The First Order is meant to bring order to the galaxy. We are going end the anarchist discord started by the Republic and continued now by the resistance. Once we have order there will be less war and discord. But do not be naïve. There won’t be true peace. The galaxy will just be controlled,” He enlightens you to the truth of the situation. It brings you no comfort but it brings understanding.

“So, the Supreme Leader wants to control the whole of the galaxy. Does that make him a Sith?” You try to find the definition for the word used earlier.

“No. He is not a Sith but he knows the way.”

“What is a Sith then?”

“Come sit down. I sense you are going to have many questions and you will grow tired of standing there for long,” He pulls on your hands. You come and take a seat sideways on his lap. You had seen many men and women put children on their laps like this before they would tell them a story during your days patrolling different planets. How strange it is to have Kylo hold you like this. You look up at him. 

“A Sith is a force-wielder who is devoted entirely to the dark side of the force,” He defines the term for you. 

“I keep hearing dark side. Are there sides to the force?” That makes no sense to you.

“Yes, there is a light side and a dark side. The light side is about denying your emotions and any sense of self. It embraces compassion and tranquility. It can give power but you are still limited from fulfilling your true potential. The dark side embraces all your emotions. It unleashes your inner power and gives you strength. It can free you to achieve your aspirations.” Kylo gives his very biased lesson on the sides. 

“I see…You said Supreme Leader is not one, but are you?” You tilt your head to the side. 

“Not yet.”

“So, you want to be one?”

“My grandfather was one. I will follow his path but I will surpass him and the Sith. But I will learn from their ways first.”

“Who was your grandfather?”

“Darth Vader.”

You gulp realizing now why Kylo was so upset about the helmet. It was his grandfather’s. You also try to process that the legendary figure is Kylo’s grandfather. But you remember the little history of know of Darth Vader’s demise. 

“But how can he be? Your father was a smuggler not a Jedi and I know it was Darth Vader’s Jedi son who brought about his end,” You recall the information about Kylo’s father

that he gave you.

“My uncle was the jedi.” 

“Lucas Skyflyer?” You ask.

“Luke Skywalker,” He corrects you. 

“Oh…” You think on the famed Jedi. Even though you botched his name you knew of him. You also knew he was long gone. Not dead but silent. 

“My _mother_ was the daughter of Darth Vader,” He shares his family history. You are shocked. You never heard of Darth Vader having a daughter. Then you recall the beautiful woman you saw in the vision. 

“Was your mother also a Sith?”

Kylo chuffs amused by the question and shakes his head.

“No.”

“A Jedi then like your uncle?”

“Not at that time. She did study the way of the Jedi later. Then tried to make me learn their ways,” Kylo looks away from you recalling his past. 

“You trained as a Jedi?”

“Yes. Then my uncle who was my master tried to kill me,” Kylo looks back to you with the horrid detail. The blonde man who tried to kill Kylo in your vision must have been his uncle, Luke Skywalker.

“How awful!” You cover your mouth.

“Then I destroyed his temple.”

“Is then when you killed the other Jedi?” You know of his nickname. 

“Yes.”

“Why did your uncle try to kill you?”

“He was afraid of my growing power and the possibility of me turning to the dark side.”

“That’s terrible. I’m sorry you had to go through that,” You lay your hand on his chest. 

“It is in the past. But once I find Skywalker, I will kill him.” Kylo puts his hand on top of yours. 

“I will help you anyway I can then,” You promise. He lets himself smile. He moves his hand from yours and puts it to your cheek. He gives you a light kiss. You are surprised by the gesture but also how much he has shared with you about his past. 

“Now, we must get you a room and some decent clothes,” Kylo states pulling away. 

“Can’t I just stay in here with you?” You bat your eyes hopefully. 

“No,” His answer makes you pout.

“Why not?” You try not whine. He brings his lips next your ear.

“I wouldn’t be able to stop fucking you.” 

Goosebumps come over your skin at the thought of endless fucking. 

“I wouldn’t mind that,” You slide your hand down his chest and head for his member. He grabs your hand and stops it.

“You really need to control yourself,” he leans away from your ear. 

“I thought using the dark side was all about embracing your passions?” You bring up the brief lesson he just gave you. 

“We can embrace this passion later especially since I do plan on keeping that promise I made to you,” He lets go of your hand. You smile remembering the promise he made on the Silencer. 

“I guess I will be content with that for now…”

“Now, your room and clothing need to be taken care of now,” Kylo starts to stand so you slip off him. He goes to a little nook in his room you’ve never notices before. There is a long door. His closet you realize when he opens it and there are clothes in there. 

“You stay here and study while I go take care of these things,” He points to the desk chair. You sit down and know you should immediately go to studying but instead you sit back and watch Kylo dress himself. He keeps his back to you. You lick your lips staring at his alabaster skin occasionally dotted with dark freckles. You wish you could leave your own marks on him like he does with you. Perhaps next time. 

“Why aren’t you reading?” He turns his head and catches you staring. 

“I am!” You turn your head so your eyes are looking at the paper. Kylo comes next to you and pulls the clothes he put on the chair earlier and put them on himself. He then grabs his helmet from the desk. You turn your head for one last glimpse of his face before he puts on the dreaded facial covering. 

“Read,” He grabs your head and twists it back around face the paper. You nod and begin reading the mantra as you listen to Kylo leave.   
You read the words over and over again. They start to stick in your brain. You are sure that’s what Kylo wants.

“Peace is a lie. There is only passion. Through passion I gain strength. Through strength I gain power. Through power I gain victory. Through victory my chains are broken. The force shall free me,” You recite the words to yourself aloud without looking at the paper. You look down to make sure you have said the right words. Your eyes bulge seeing different words there now. 

There is no emotion, there is peace.  
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.  
There is no passion, there is serenity.  
There is no chaos, there is harmony.  
There is no death, there is the Force.

You rub your eyes and the words return to the Sith Code. 

“What was that?” You do not understand. You rub your eyes once more to see if the words will change. They do not. 

“I must be tired. Why else would I be seeing things,” You try to rationalize the visual hallucination. You suddenly feel a yawn. 

“Yes. That’s it. I am tired. I did have a busy day after all. We left Kessel and my force sensitivity was realized. I met Supreme Leader Snoke and got made Kylo’s apprentice. I used the force more than I ever have. And I’ve had sex a lot today. Maybe I need a nap.” You look at Kylo’s big unoccupied bed. You look to the door then back to the bed. 

“No. I shouldn’t get in the bed. He’ll be pissed if he sees me sleeping there and not studying,” You know he would. So, you stay seated. You do rest your elbow on the desk and your head against the palm of your hand. Your eyes go over the words again but they grow heavy. Then they close. 

The sound of a door opening makes your eyes snap open. You sit up straight and turn to see that your master has returned. He has a bundle in his hand.   
“Here are some new clothes,” He tosses it to you. You catch the bundle and unwrap the paper around it. You pull up a black dress, a hooded cape, a belt and a pair of gloves. The dress and cape’s materials are soft but dense. The gloves and belt are leather. 

“Try it on,” Kylo orders. You stand up and lay the folded items on the chair. You put on the dress first. The top is tight and hugs your breasts. There is a bit of a ‘v’ showing off your cleavage. The sleeves cling to your arms. You put the belt around your waist giving you a waist. You do not fail to notice the similarity between your belt and Kylo’s. The rest of the dress flows down to your ankles. You pull on the gloves before putting on the cape. 

“How do I look?” You hold out your arms and spin around to show him the outfit he has picked. 

“Acceptable.” He answers. It is not exactly the adjective you wanted but you’ll have to take it. 

“I’ll wear my own boots with this outfit. I think I’ll wear my pants underneath as well,” You start walking to the clothes and shoes you discarded earlier.

“No pants,” Kylo makes the pants slide away from you as you approach it with his force. 

“Why not?” You look to your master. 

“I’ve found you a new room as well. It is with the lower officers but it is better than the trooper dorms,” he ignores your question. You start to put on your boots.

“Thank you…”

“I’ll take you there now,” He goes back toward his door. You move to grab your shirt. 

“Leave it.” 

You don’t try to grab your old clothing. Kylo holds out his hand the paper with the Sith code on it flies to him and rolls itself up. He hands it to you before he leaves the room.   
You two walk the halls together. You notice passing troopers stopping and watching you two. The officers do as well especially as you two enter the hall where most of the Officer dormitories are located. You keep your chin up. You are Kylo’s apprentice and will not be made to feel lesser to anyone. He presses a button making the door to your new room open. He lets you enter before he comes in behind you. 

The room is bigger than your old but much smaller than Kylo’s. In fact, it all feels like a miniature of Kylo’s room. But you have only one door which would lead to a bathroom. A small rack hangs in a corner of the room. You know that is where your clothes are supposed to go. 

“This is very nice. Thank you,” You are sure to be grateful. You begin walking around the room. Kylo stands near the foot of your bed as you walk. 

“You will have meals brought to you by a droid so you don’t have to associate with your former colleagues anymore.”

“There’s no need for that. I don’t mind eating in the cafeteria. It would be nice to see my friends,” You protest lightly.

“Like FN-2187?” Of course, he brings him up.

“Yes, and FN-1226 and a few others,” You are sure to bring up your preferred female friend.

“You will be too busy for friends. Your training will take up most of your time and focus,” He predicts. You press your lips together not sure how much that pleases you. But you put down the scroll onto the little desk you have. 

“So, you will be the only person I really interact with?” You begin spreading out the document to be flat. Kylo walks behind you. You feel him pressed against your back. You stop the spreading.

“Is that a problem for you?” His mask is next to your ear.

“No,” You shake your head. “But I would like the opportunity to still see my friends at least once in a while.”

“I’m sure that could be arranged.”

“Thank you,” You turn your face just a little. You wish his helmet was off so you could have just turned your face and kissed him but his mask just gets in the way. His hand comes up and unbuttons your cape. 

“You will only need this when you are outside. Inside like in here you don’t need it,” he removes the outer later. He lays it on the desk next to your paper. You nod your head. You wonder if her will take off anymore of your clothes. 

The door suddenly opens and Kylo steps away from you. A droid comes in with a covered tray. Kylo takes it from the serving droid that immediately leaves. He moves the paper and your cape to the edges of your desk and put the tray on the desk. 

“Eat. I will see you in the morning,” Kylo uncovers your food. You salivate.

“Won’t you stay and eat with me?” You offer. 

“No. I must go. I will see you in the morning,” He repeats the second phrase. You have to accept his decision. He leaves you. You sit and begin to eat the delicious food before you. Though you enjoy the food, you find yourself lonely eating alone…


	18. Morning Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am really grateful for all the kudos and comments! They really just make my day. Please, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 18

Waking up extra early, you dressed in your new clothing Kylo has given you. You take your time playing with your hair. You want to find the perfect style now that it will be visible to all. After several tries you finally settle with having your hair go back into a braided bun with a second braid going down your back. Very Princess Meia you think as you look at the finished product.

Knock. Knock. 

You jump at the sudden noise. Who would be knocking at your door at this time of the morning? You open the door and Kylo is there. You cannot hide your surprise. He came to you?

“Good morning, Master,” You greet him. 

“Get your cloak,” He points the clothing item you are not wearing. You go and put it on immediately. He turns and you know you are to follow him. He doesn’t speak even as he leads through the most random or corridors. You grow curiouser and curiouser as you walk. 

“Where are we going, Master?” You finally ask.

“To train.”

“The sparring room is on level-”

“We are not going there,” He cuts you off and opens a door. A hard, cold wind blows onto the both of you. You are glad you have your hooded cape seeing the snowy outside.

You follow him outside of the base. Unlike the frozen tundra of Hoth, this place is covered in tall trees along with the snow. Kylo doesn’t stop walking even after entering the woods. 

“Master, why are we training out here?” You avoid tripping on any of the roots of the trees hidden in the white sheets over them.

“We will have more space,” He slows as he comes upon a clearing in the forest. Once in the middle Kylo stops and so you do too. 

“Hand me your cloak,” he holds out his hand to you. You quickly unhook it and give over the extra layer of warmth. He sends the clothing off till it hangs off a tree branch. He pulls out a black piece of fabric. He gives it to you to hold as he pulls his lightsaber from his side. 

“You need to learn to sense things in the force and use the force in defense as well as use a lightsaber. Since you do not have a lightsaber, I am going to let you use mine for now,” He holds the hilt out toward you. 

“Really?” You just eye the weapon and do not dare to touch it. 

“Yes. Take it,” He pushes it toward you. You wrap your gloves fingers around the powerful weapon. He lets go. 

It’s been a while since I’ve worked with a melee weapon. I hope it comes back to me. You think.

“Tie that over your eyes,” He directs pointing to the fabric. You go to tie the fabric but find holding the lightsaber is getting in the way. You look down and find the easiest spot to put the saber is in your exposed cleavage. Your breasts hug it nicely as you raise your hands once more. You tie on the fabric which turns the white nature surrounding into nothing but darkness. You pull his saber from your chest and feel it to make sure you have grabbed it properly. You would hate to ignite and pierce yourself.

“What now?”

“Prepare to defend yourself,” Kylo’s voice grows distant. You press the button on the side of the saber. You hear the crackling noise and know it is on. You wait. What doe Kylo mean by defending yourself? 

“Ow!” You yelp feeling something hard it you. “Was that a rock?”

“Defend yourself,” Kylo’s voice is far from you.

“Ow!” You feel another rock hit you.

“Reach out with your feelings,” You hear Kylo. 

“Ow! Ow!” Two more rocks hit you. You can feel your anger rising in you. You feel one more hit you.

“Are you throwing rocks at me?” You growl. 

“Yes.”

“I do not like this, Master,” You scowl though you do not know where Kylo is or if he can see your face.

“Then block them,” He throws yet another stone. Your muscles tighten in your frustration with Kylo. You take a breath and focus on your feelings like Kylo said. You reach out with your feelings to the force. 

Let me see that beautiful asshole. You reach out to the force. Things begin to take shape and lighten up in your blacked out eyes. You finally see Kylo. You stand to your right.

All around you in the air are stones. That must be how you keep getting hit at different angles. You regrip Kylo’s lightsaber. You see a stone fly straight for your face. You lift the lightsaber and block it. The stone disappears when it hits the red light from the saber. Another comes and you block. Multiples come now. You quickly protect yourself. You sense one coming from behind you as one comes from before you. You hit the front before throwing the saber of your head to block the back. They come at you faster now. You are grateful that your muscles remembered how to use a sword-like weapon to defend against multiple and quick attacks. 

As you spin the saber in front of you to block three of the flying stones. Another comes at you from the side. You throw up your and gain some control of the rock. You throw your hand and the stone flies in front you toward Kylo. He stops it and pushes it back toward you. With it being the last stone you hit with the saber. 

“Very good,” Kylo speaks and approaches you. “You can take off your blindfold.”

You turn off the saber and put it back into your cleavage to hold it as you go to untie your blindfold. You can feel the heat radiating off it from where the openings are. You are quick to remove the blindfold so you may go back to remove it. Before your hand can grab it, Kylo’s hand is at your chest. He removes his lightsaber from your breasts’ hold. He also takes your blindfold.

“I should’ve gotten her a high collar dress. I can’t stop staring at her breasts.”

You hear Kylo’s voice but it is not the voice you typically hear from his mask. 

“What?” You raise an eyebrow.

“What?” Kylo steps back putting the blindfold in his pocket.

“Did you say something to me?” You ask.

“No.”

“I could have sworn I heard you say something.”

“I didn’t.”

“Oh…okay…”

“Now, we should work on your combat skills,” he finishes putting his saber back on his belt. 

“I think I’m pretty good in combat,” You aren’t afraid to toot your own horn. 

“You weren’t able to defeat me,” he reminds you lowering your arrogance. 

“Yes…but I did just fight a bunch of guys before I fought you,” you recall so he does not inflate his own ego.

“Well, you get your second chance today.”

“Very well then, Master,” You raise your fists ready to fight. 

“Not hand to hand,” he put his hand on your fist to push it down. 

“Oh?”

“We will be using a less sophisticated weapon than a lightsaber,” Kylo holds out his hand toward one of the trees surrounding you two. Two small, leafless branches break off and fly to his hands. He holds one out to you. 

“Are going to fight with sticks?” You start to giggle taking it from his hand.

“Yes, we are.” He lacks the amusement in his voice that you have. You grasp the branch as if it were a sword as does he. Everything about this reminds you of your childhood when you used to fight Two-Six in one of the training facilities with whatever long thing you could find. Though it wasn’t a conventional childhood, it is still a sort of sweet memory.

“Stop day dreaming,” Kylo interrupts your nostalgic flashback.

You regrip the stick. You wait for him to attack.

“Ladies, first,” Kylo calls for you to make the first move.

You start at him with stick out stretched. You hit his wood and he hits back. You both swing up block each other’s blows as you move back ward. You managed to get him to take a few steps back before you lunge forward. You smile almost landing a hit on his arm. You barely missed. He pauses and looks at where you almost hit him.   
Kylo allows you to step back before he begins his attacks. You manage to block him and counterattack. But with a simple move of his wrist, you and your stick spin around. As you spin, he hits your ribs with his stick. You ignore your side and got at him with stick raised to hit him. He blocks the blow above your head and then they both lower between the two of you. You push away from him. 

Your sticks go to blows again but he manages to smack your shoulder before stepping away from you. You run at him but as you lunge your stick at him. He catches your arm between his and his side. He spins around and lets you go sending you to the ground. He comes behind you and gives your derriere a hard hit with his stick. 

“Ow!” You cry out. 

“Get up,” Kylo orders. You push yourself up and rub your sore bottom. You rush at him with swinging your down and to the sides at him. He blocks each movement. As you lunge at him, his sword blocks the attempt at a blow as he kicks your leg that was stretched out causing you to fall to the ground. He whacks your bottom with his stick. You grit your teeth at the sharp pain.

“Don’t lunge.”  
You push yourself up and grab your stick that slipped out of your hand in the fall. You begin to attack as you had. He steps back many times and you pursue him. You lean forward to strike but he turns. At your side he kicks his foot underneath you and pushing your shoulder down causing you to fall once more. He gives your bottom another smack with his stick. 

“You shouldn’t go where your enemy leads you.”

You get up again. Your ass is growing annoyed with the hitting.

“I’d appreciate it if you’d stop spanking me, Master.”

He just chuckles. You inhale sharply. You know you can fight him better than this. You just need to focus.   
You start for him again. Your stick hit a few times. You move to strike him but he spins out of the way. As you pass him, he hits your back hard. You stumble but do not fall. You face him again.

You don’t know if it has been seconds, minutes or hours but you keep fighting your master. Kylo goes unscathed as you two continue to duel. You try harder and harder but more often than not you end up on the ground with him hitting your ass.

“Had enough?” Kylo stands over you. You glare at the ground. You begin to push yourself up.

“No, Master. I will not have enough till I hit you,” You get to your knees. 

“I doubt you’ll have such luck,” Kylo sneers. You get to your feet though you are a bit wobbly from the moments he managed to hit your legs. You tighten your hold on your stick.

“I will hit you, Master,” You declare. 

“Hm, Sure, Sweetheart,” he taunts you. Anger spreads through you with your blood. 

“I will! And you’ll have to admit that you were wrong,” you point your stick toward him. He says nothing but you can know he is smirking. 

“We’ll see.”

I will hit him!

You jump into the air. You go higher than you ever have before. You come down on Kylo prepared to smash his helmet in with your partial branch. He puts his hand out and you fly away from him into the air. You hit a tree and slide down. 

“That’s good. Use the force,” He approaches you. You push yourself up with the help of your stick. You run at him. Your elemental weapons crack against each other with each hit. You miss him again and see him stick about to hit you. You hold up your hand. You stop the stick and his arm in the air. You take the opportunity to whip your weapon toward him. Kylo catches your wrist mere inches from his side. He raises it up into the air. You do not release the arm that you hold via the force. The way he holds up your other arm feels that he might pull it of socket. You see how close your hand is now to his head. 

Even in his hold, you move the stick into your fingers. You stare into the window of his helmet as you release the stick from your hand but using the force you hover in the air. Ever so lightly you make it bang against his helmet. You grin in your tiny victory. Kylo throws you to the cold ground. He drops his stick and stands over you. You do not lose your pleased expression even when his hands become fists. 

“I told you I would hit you,” You brag. His fists turn back into hands. He holds one out to you. You take it and stand up. 

“It took you long enough. You should have been using the force from the beginning. If you want to be a great fighter and wielder you must learn to use the force at all times when fighting. You must lose the habit of restraining yourself. It only weakens you,” he gives you your lesson. 

“I will try.”

“No. You will or you won’t. There is no ‘try’ with the force.”

“I will then,” You fix your statement. 

“Good,” he puts his gloved right hand onto your cheek. You enjoy the gentleness in comparison to the harshness you’ve been experiencing. 

“Now show me your ass,” The command is abrupt. 

“What?” You step back at him. 

“I’m going to count the marks. Each one represents how many times I could have killed you. So, show me your ass,” He gives some reason.  
You turn around and lift up the back of your dress. You shiver as the cold wind hits your bare and already sore bottom. He kneels down and presses his leather covered finger into each mark as he counts. You grimace as he does. 

“Thirty-Seven,” He finishes counting but does not stand. You cannot believe it wasn’t a hundred times as how sore your bottom is. 

“Next time I want there to be less than ten marks here, understand.”

“Yes, sir,” You nod. You hear the hiss of his mask. You look back and see his mask coming off. He puts it in the snow next to him. He rubs his hands over your cheeks before settling them at your hips. He leans forward and presses his lips against one of the markings. He removes them and places them on another. He kisses each mark just as he had poked each one moments ago. His hands move down from your hips and his thumbs go and spread your cheeks. 

“What are you-” Your eyes bulge and your breath hitches as you feel Kylo press his lips around the ring of muscle once hidden by your cheeks. His tongue darts out begins licking the hole. You cannot believe it. Kylo is literally kissing your ass.

Kylo’s tongue pushing into your hole as his right hand moves between your legs. He allows two fingers to insert themselves into your wetting cunt. They play with your folds and his thumb teases your clit as his tongue tortures your ass. 

Your knees shake as you try to keep standing and holding up your dress. You bite your lower lip and close your eyes not sure of what to do beside enjoys the strange stimulation. You feel your orgasm coming. 

Kylo removes his mouth from your ass and begins to kiss the cheeks again. He adds a third finger to join the other two. You find it hard to breathe. He roughly pinches your clit as he sinks his teeth into the tender flesh of your ass cheek. You scream out in a mix of pain from the bite as well as from the pleasure of your orgasm. You fall to your knees as Kylo removes his teeth from your body and his fingers from your vagina. You drop your dress and fall over onto your palms. You look back at Kylo who lazily licks your juices from his glove. 

Kylo grabs the hem of your dress and tosses it up and over your hips exposing your still leaking sex to him. You can’t even feel the coldness of the air and snow as your body has become so hot. Kylo stays on his knees and removes his very keen cock from his britches. He presses his tip at the entrance of your quim. You wiggle your hips to gain some stimulation from his appendage. It isn’t enough. You don’t understand why he won’t put it in you.

“Are you going to put it in?” You finally ask.

“I don’t know. After your weak performance in training today, I think my fingers were enough for you,” He pulls his tip away. This is displeasing. 

“Kylo, please…” You whine. 

“Please what?” 

You sigh. Isn’t it obvious?

“Please, fuck me.”

“I don’t think you really want me to,” he pulls your dress back over your wanting cunt. He starts to put his member away despite it still being erect. You push yourself up and turn around. You stay on your knees. He is still taller than you on his knees. You make sure to look in his eyes. You bring your arms closer inside pushing your breasts together and enlarging them. You see his eyes flicker to them then back to your eyes. 

“Kylo,” You say is name softly. 

“Hm?”

“Please, fuck me,” You try to sound sincere and a little desperate. You lift up the hem of your dress to show yourself to him again. Kylo sits down and allows his member to stand up unencumbered by pants. He waves his fingers in signal for you to come to him. You walk on your knees till you can straddle him. Your warm wetness hovers above his tip. His hands go to your hips. He pushes you down making you take in his full self. You exhale in delight at the fullness of him. You hold on to his shoulders as bring yourself up and down on him. You move slowly so you can enjoy the feel of him inside.

His hands move up from your hips to your chest. He pulls the fabric down exposing your breasts. His eyes follow you breasts as they slightly bounce with your slow rise and fall. You purposefully begin to you quick your pace so your breasts will bounce more. His lips come together as he watches. His chin wiggles slightly as you’ve seen before. You purposefully lean forward as you ride him bringing them closer you his face. 

Kylo’s hands find your shoulders and push down. You feel the snow fill your hair and ice your neck. His cock slips out of you in your fall. Kylo gets back on his knees. He puts his hands under your bottom and hips. He lifts them up and you hook your legs over his hips. Your upper body still lays on the snowy earth. You arch you back up though. He thrusts back into you. 

Kylo hits your inner pleasure spot as he thrusts. His hands squeeze your sore bottom but you don’t mind. You gaps out his name as he rocks his hips back and forth into you. You still notice his eyes on your breasts. With your hands left to their own devices, you bring them your breasts. Though your leather gloves have kept your hands warm, the exterior has become cold from the snow you keep making contact with. It is too late. You let the cold gloves cup your breasts. Your nipples stick up in desperate need of attention. You pinch them and watch Kylo’s hungry eyes. 

“Oh, Kylo, it feels so good,” You moan. You mean it. His cock ramming into you and your own play with your nipples are bringing up your second orgasm.

“Kylo, you’re going to make me cum again. I feel it coming. Oh, Kylo,” You feel it growing more and more. Kylo begins stepping forward and grabs your ankles from behind him. He pushes your ankles toward your head. Your lower back raises and your body begins to fold in half. Your hole back comes off. Only your shoulder and head stay on the ground. Your ankles now rest at your temples. He continues to drive his cock into you even in this position. His fingers go to rub your clit bring even more pleasure. 

“Kylo, I’m going to cum! I’m going to cum!”

“No. No. You have to ask my permission when you want to cum,” He removes his fingers from your clit. 

“Please, Kylo, let me cum. Please, let me cum,” You beg. “Your cock is too good. I need to cum. Please let me cum.”

“If you insist,” he returns his fingers to you. Before you know it you’re shuddering you way through your second orgasm. You go limp. Kylo pulls out and lets your body fall to the ground. He straddles your ribs. He finally grabs your breasts. He pushes them together and puts his cock that is still slick with your juices between them. He pinches your nipples and hold them close together as he fucks your breasts. You look down at the head of his cock. It hides between your mounds before poking out as if it going to hit you in the face. You stare up at Kylo as he is the one now to pants. 

“Open your mouth,” He barks and you oblige. You hold it open not sure what will happen. Then with a grunt he cums. His semen spurts onto your face and breasts as well as landing in your mouth. You swallow what got in your mouth. He catches his breath but stay atop you staring at you. He then collects the excess spilled elsewhere onto his glove. The scoops he collects he puts into your mouth. You eat what gives you until you are clean. He finally gets off you. He puts away his now flaccid friend. You sit up and pull up the top of your dress to finally cover your breasts then throw down you dress to cover the rest of yourself.   
Kylo picks up his helmet and puts it one before he stands. You stand up without any help. Kylo holds out his hand and summons your cloak from the tree he hung it on. Once in his hand he wraps it around you and secures it. The warmth is nice. 

“Thank you, Master,” You are sure to be grateful. 

“We will return back to base now. You may rest or shower or whatever till I come for you to train more this afternoon. Understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” You nod. You follow his lead through the woods and back to the base. He leaves you once the elevator lands at your floor. You walk alone toward your room. You look over as your new neighbor walks out. 

“Lt. Mitaka,” You smile seeing the officer. He looks at you with furrowed brows. 

“Um. I’m sorry. Do I know you?” He begins to approach. 

“It’s me, FN-1971,” You smile. With his close he smiles showing off his dimples. 

“Oh, of course! I’m sorry. It is strange to see you without your helmet and your uniform,” he comments noticing her change in appearance. 

“There’s no need to apologize. I am aware that my change in appearance might be confusing,” You try to put him at ease. 

“I heard of your change in place. What is your new name? I heard I am not to call you FN-1971 anymore.”

“It’s Sly,” You give Snoke’s name for you. 

“Sly,” he repeats. 

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m no longer your superior. You may call me Dopheld,” He gives you permission. 

“Oh, then I will, Dopheld.”

You can see his eyes looking you over once more and his dimples deepening with his widening smile. 

“I must go. But I’ll see you around, Sly,” He tilts his head to you. You give him a nod freeing him of the conversation. He walks off to go about his duties. You enter your room. You flop down on the bed on your stomach. You turn your head and take a deep breath. 

“I don’t know if I can survive the afternoon if I’m going to get beat up then fucked up,” You sigh out loud to yourself. 

Too bad it can’t just be fucking. You mentally wish. You close your eyes and decide to spend your break resting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any kinks or fetishes they want to see in this story please let me know. I might include it. :)


	19. I like you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you are staying safe and healthy out there. Please enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 19

Waking, you rub your eyes before yawning. You begin stretching your limbs out as you stay lying on the bed. You finally roll off the bed and stand. You find your room pleasantly empty. You remove your cloak and put it on the back of the desk chair. Feeling nature call, you go to your bathroom.

After washing your hands, you lift up your dress to check on you still, slightly sore bottom. The marks from his this are there as well as his bite mark. You let down your dress as you open the mirror hoping it is stocked with some sort of medical supplies. You smile finding the hygiene and medical items you want. You didn’t realize it was stocked till now. Whoever prepared the room must have stocked it. 

You grab a tube of ointment. You remove your gloves and lift up your dress again. You throw the hem over your shoulder and hold it by leaning your head against it. You put the ointment on your hands. You lather your backside in the ointment giving you some comfort. You let your dress fall then wash your hands again. You put the tube back and notice a small case of cycle-sticks. You pull them out for a moment. 

“When was the last time I used these?” You pause and try to think back. You search until you recall it having come and gone after Kylo beat you up in the sparring room. You were fortunate to have your cycle came upon you while you were already in medical bay. You are also fortunate that it was a rather short cycle as it was the day after it ended that you went to Hoth and lost your virginity. Though there is still much time before your next cycle you frown. 

“How am I going to Kylo that we wont’ be able to have sex during my cycle?” You dread the conversation as well as the approaching lack of sex. 

“I’ll just have to enjoy all the sex before it comes, I wish I could just skip it,” You put the box back and close the mirror. You leave the bathroom while putting your gloves back on your hands.

You feel your rumble. You realize you haven’t eaten anything today-well, not counting Kylo’s cum. You know Kylo told you to eat in your room but you have no idea how to get a droid to bring you food. It would be much easier to just go to the cafeteria and get some food. Kylo will understand if he finds out.

Leaving your room. You have no problem finding your way from your new quarters to the cafeteria. When you enter, the once noisy room grows silent. You see the storm troopers you would have called your equals staring at you. They watch you as you go to grab a tray. You are pleased to see there is portion bread today. You take it and put it on the tray before going to find a seat. 

As you go down the aisle between the rows of tables many turn from you while others stare. You know it must be strange to see of their own now dressed as you are and not a trooper anymore. You take a empty spot at a table near the end. The sitting troopers hop up and move leaving you alone. 

You are surprised at their move. But you have to assume that they are uncomfortable with you as you are dressed differently and have a new position. You start eating the solid food.

“Didn’t you hear? She tried to kill FN-3181,” You hear a whisper from a table. 

“What? Why?” 

“She’s been smuggling contraband onto base. All contraband found around here has been brought in by her. FN-3181 did his duty and reported her and she tried to kill him.”

More tables share their hushed gossip. All tell tales of your secret smuggling ring and your murderous attempt of the “honorable” FN-3181. You cannot be too surprised at how fast this information has spread. 

“You did know she also killed Admiral Gatiss. It was claimed it was to protect Commander Ren but I’m sure he could have stopped it.”

“Another sign of her murderous ways…”

Someone has to bring up the incident that greatly displeased General Hux. But that wasn’t murder. It was all to protect Commander Ren.Your ears pick up the worst conversation being held that comes from the table you approach you. You recognize their voices. 

“I guess that’s why we had to escort her to Captain Phasma,” Slip deduces.

“Yes. You know, FN-3181 told me that he found her semen stained underwear,” Zeroes reveals. 

“She must be fucking someone really far up in the ranks to not get immediately sent to reconditioning for that.” FN-417 comments.

“Probably Lt. Mitaka. I mean, she’s been after him for years. Or maybe FN-2187. They’ve always been a little too friendly.” FN-2198 brings up two horrible assumptions.

“I did see her leaving Genral Hux’s quarters with Eight-Seven. But, I don’t know. I think it’d be someone higher than us and Lt. Mitaka. Maybe it’s General Hux. He’s one of the highest officers here.,” Zeroes figures.

“Maybe she’s sleeping with all of them,” FN-417 suggests.

“Maybe. But she must have fucked her way out of reconditioning. I mean have you seen her. I’d let her get away with murder if I could get those lips around my cock,” Zeroes snorts. You gag on your bread. 

“I don’t think she has done any of that stuff,” Slip speaks up for you, “She is a very dedicated trooper. The best of us really.”

“Then why isn’t she in uniform now?” FN-2198 brings up your change of clothing. 

“Why would she wear it after being promoted? I don’t think she is a trooper anymore…,” Slip is still not sure of your position. 

“But how do you think she got her promotion? She must be fucking someone. I mean you don’t just go from trooper to something so high up that we’re not even sure what she is.” Zeroes insists. Blood boiling you want to scream at the troopers. You want to make all of them fall to their knees and apologize for their gossiping tongues. You want them all to know you aren’t fucking any one they have assumed. Your hands are fists. Your tray begins to shake on the table despite you not touching it. 

“Hey,” Your tray stops and you look up. Nines has come and taken a seat across from you. Nines puts his tray of bread down. 

“Hey,” You greet him back. You notice everyone grows quiet once more to listen to you and Nines. 

“I hope there are no hard feelings about yesterday. I was just doing my duty,” Nines makes an attempt at peace. 

“I know.”

“Congratulations on your promotion from Supreme Leader. What exactly is your position now?” Nines is the only one to directly ask. 

“I am now Commander Kylo Ren’s apprentice.”

“What?” The question erupts from many voices besides Nines. 

“How can this be, FN-1971?

“Didn’t you hear before you were going to execute me that I am force sensitive?” You make him think back.

“I did but I didn’t know you were taken under Commander Ren’s wing.”

“Well, I am. And I am no longer FN-1971. Supreme Leader Snoke himself has named me Sly,” you inform Nines though you know everyone else in the room is also receiving the information. You are slightly surprised that Lt. Mitaka would know all of this but the troopers did not. Then again you know exactly how the officers love to keep large portions of information away from you all. 

“Sly? How fitting…” He chuckles the last part. 

“Is there something funny about my new name, FN-2199?” You are sure not to call him by his nickname. 

“No. I think it really suits you and your behavior recently,” He does not hold back. 

“My behavior?”

“Yes, I mean you must be one great deceiver to have convinced even Supreme Leader Snoke that you’re more than just a trooper. I’ve never seen you use the force before. How did you fake your force ability?” Nines has the audacity to question your skill. Your vision begins to turn red. First, everyone thinks of you as a rogue contraband smuggler then a whore and now you are being questioned on the validity of your force ability? You want to just throw Nines across the room. Maybe you should!

“Then let me show you,” You hold out your hand and like a piece of grass in the wind, Nines flies across the cafeteria till he hits a wall. He then drops to the ground.   
You rise from the table walk toward Nines. You side glance at the troopers. They look on horrified. You reach Nines and kneel down. You take his jaw in your hand and make him look at you. 

“Did that feel fake to you?” You ask. He gulps.

“No,” he answers. You stand back up and turn around to address the others. 

“Anyone else want to see if I am really force sensitive?” You ask. They all look away from you. You walk back to your table. You grab your bread and start to walk out of the cafeteria. 

“She’s like a mini Commander Ren,” You hear the comment. You are not sure if that is a good thing. As much as you now adore your master, you know how everyone feels about him. Not until recently you though him a cruel monster. Were you becoming a cruel monster?

You leave the cafeteria. As you walk the halls you eat your bread and think on your new persona. What is worse to be seen as a smuggler, a whore or a force-wielding monster? You regret having gone to the cafeteria. You should have just stayed in your room. 

You find yourself to have naturally gravitated to Kylo’s quarters. You stand unsure if you should knock or not. You finally knock. The door slides open. You enter without having to be told. Kylo sits at his desk writing with mask off.

“I’m here to continue my training, Master,” you inform him coming closer to his side. He doesn’t look at you.

“Just take a seat on the bed,” He sighs and continues to write on the paper before him. You sit silently but your mind still thinks on that which has been bothering you. 

“I told you shouldn’t have gone to the cafeteria. Now, you’re all bothered. But you shouldn’t care about what they think of you,” Kylo speaks with his back still to you. 

“What?”

“They’re just stormtroopers. Who cares if they think poorly of you?”

“I care. I’ve spent my whole life with those people. They were my friends. I don’t want them to think I’m a sneaky whore who will kill them at the drop of a hat.”

“Do you want me to have them all sent away and replaced with fresh cadets who know nothing about you?” Kylo asks still working. 

“No!” You reject his solution. 

“Then move on. People like us will always be hated,” Kylo finally stops writing. You frown at the statement. 

“I don’t want to be hated.”

“You can’t control how other people feel about you. You just have to accept it and move on.” He blows on the ink.

“Is that what you do? You know people hate you and you just accept it and move on?” 

“Yes.”

“So, if I told you that I hate you, you would just accept it and go on teaching me? You wouldn’t care at all?” You speak hypothetically.

You see his back straighten up. He becomes very still. 

“No,” he finally answers but remains frozen. 

“I guess we are very different then. I wouldn’t be able to bare it if you told me you hated me,” You speak your thoughts aloud. You are not embarrassed at all at your honesty. 

“So, you don’t hate me?” Kylo sounds slightly confused. 

“Of course, I don’t. I was just asking a hypothetical. I-” You pause. You need to choose your words carefully. “I like you.”

“You just like fucking me,” he mutters. 

“No. I mean I do. I like fucking you a lot but I like you even when we’re not fucking,” You make it clear. He just snorts in disbelief.

“I mean it,” You stand up a bit frustrated that he doesn’t believe you.

“What do you like about me?” Kylo still keeps his back to you.

“Well, I like how smart you are. You seem to know everything about everything. You are able to negotiate, strategize and even act to fool others into getting what you want like on Kessel. You’re a very passionate person but you’re very patient with me even when I ask so many questions. You’re kind, though you don’t exactly show it to everyone. You listen to me. Even now you have sat here listening to me and advising me although I know you have much more important things to do. And you really do seem to try and understand me. So, I really do like you.”

He says nothing. His silence makes your heart begin to pound. Did you say too much? Did you say something wrong? 

“I like you too,” The words are practically whispered but you hear them. The hairs on the back of you neck stand up and your body tingles at the admittance. 

“You do?” You cannot stop beaming. 

“If I didn’t, you’d already be back in the reconditioning program if not dead,” He snaps. You get up and cross over to him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders. You bring your lips to his cheek and peck it. You see it already has a pink color. 

“Now, just because we like each other doesn’t mean I’m going to let you slack on your training,” he pulls your arms away from him. He stands up and turns around. 

“More combat?” You frown.

“No. 

“You should learn how to meditate. It will help you use the force,” He answers. 

“Oh, okay.”

“I will allow you for now to use my chamber to meditate,” he walks to the door of the forbidden room. He opens it up. You feel a shiver go down your spine. You recall the event that occurred last time as well as the vision you had. 

“That’s generous of you, Master, but I don’t want to invade your privacy again,” You stay back. 

“Come,” He bends to of his fingers and you feel your body move on its own to the doorway. Reaching it you walk inside. It is the same as when you were there last. Dark with a little light. Darth Vader’s helmet rests on a podium. 

“You will sit here,” He goes to the chair in the room. You sit as directed. 

“Some would say to meditate you need to clear your mind and relax in order to focus on becoming one with the force. However, you will have a more powerful bond if you focus on your emotions. Specifically, focus on what stirs your passion. Once you do then visualize harnessing that to achieve your goal,” Kylo gives his instruction.

“Can you give me an example?”

“I embrace my anger most often. So, when I come in here and meditate, I think on what has infuriated me and refine it then visualize what I want to happen. In these times it is profitable to think of the past,” He does his best to give the requested example. 

“I see.” 

“I will leave you here now to practice your meditation.” He just leaves you. You sit in the chair not exactly sure what to do now. You stare at Darth Vader’s helmet. The now malformed armor piece just disturbs more. You close your eyes and put your hands on your lap. You take a deep breath and begin to do as Kylo said.   
Focus on what stirs my passion. What stirs my passion? Well, I did almost throw Nines through a wall and almost choked Eight-One to death. I killed those girls on Kessel too with the force. I guess I should focus on my anger towards them…You think of your force wielding times. 

Dwelling on the murder attempt as well as the assholes you grew up with does get your blood pumping. You visualize throwing the men through walls and breaking their necks especially Eight-One’s. You feel something building in you. You feel heat and in your mind you see darkness coming all around you. It’s like being near a fire in a small room. The smoke billows and surround you while the fire gives you heat. But like smoke not only has it begun to blind you it is feels like it is suffocating you as well.   
You hate it. You want to feel differently. You want to feel like you did just moments ago when Kylo told you he liked you. You bring Kylo into your mind’s eye. In the darkness you see his face clearly emerging in the darkness. His pale, long face and soft eyes gives some light in this darkness. You can hear him call your name. 

Your mind flies back to the tender moments with him such as him praising your combat skill as “impressive”, him calling you wise in front of Admiral Gatiss, and him calling what you thought was a failure on Tatooine as a victory. You think of how he gentle dressed you when you were too sore to do so yourself. Recalling his gentle touches and kisses bring bursts of lights into your mind. 

“I like you too.” His voice echoes. You still feel warmth but now there is lightness all around you. You no longer feel yourself sitting in the chair. In fact, you feel like you’re floating. It is like you are floating on a calm lake. 

Seeing the scenes of your relationship passing you, you see a new image you have not seen before. Kylo stands in black leather pants and boots. A loose black shirt and black vest cover his torso. He has a blaster holster with the gun in it. He smiles and laughs as he tries to walk with a child attached to his leg. It is the same child you remember seeing in your vision of him in that ship. Though you don’t know if this the past or future, seeing them together does make you happy. You want to be with them but you are content to just watch them. 

You let yourself go. Your mind clears and you don’t feel any need to go after Kylo and the child. Your happiness is there but not important. Your anger is long gone. You are just calm. You feel something filling you and flowing through you as if you were a river.

You open your eyes and see yourself no longer on the chair in Kylo’s chamber. You are levitating in the air. The chair and Darth Vader’s mask are in air as well. 

“Kylo!” You call out for your master panicked at this strange experience. Kylo enters the room quickly. The look of concern he held on his face as he entered easily transforms into an impressed smile.

“Is this normal?” You ask your body having not come down. 

“It’s not exactly normal but it is good,” He grabs the Darth Vader helmet and puts it back on the podium. He fixes the chair as well.

“How is this happening?” You are still not sure. 

“It’s the force. You must have made a connection. I’m not surprised since it has been several hours.”

“Hours?” You squeak in surprise. You body suddenly falls. You close your eyes and brace to hit the floor. You open your eyes and find yourself to have landed comfortably in Kylo’s arms. He holds you up as you have seen Kade Genti carry Princess Meia. Kylo forehead is relaxed as is the rest of his face. He even lets his lips spread a little. 

“I am impressed. What did you focus on?” He is truly interested. He carries you out of the chamber without putting you down. You blush and look down. 

“You…” 

“Me?” He pauses in his steps. 

“Yes…I thought of you. I thought the past and then I focused on the future. And then I felt…I can’t explain it. Then I opened my eyes and I was floating,” You explain the experience. Kylo brows come together. His eyes are distant. 

“Did I do it wrong?” You fear.

“No…” He gives you brief relief. “But I do not think you were using the dark side of the force.”

“You said to use what stirs my passion and that is definitely you. So, it must have been the dark side,” You figure.

“Well…perhaps it was,” he finally sets you down on the bed. He does not join you on the bed. He walks back to his desk. You stare at his back.

“So, what do I do now?” You inquire.

“I have written some things for you study about the force,” he holds up a stack of papers ties with a black ribbon. “You will need to read them carefully. If you have questions you may ask me about it. You will also need to make sure to try to meditate every day to further your bond with the force.”

He walks over and give you the stack of papers. His calligraphy is impeccable as usual but the pile is rather heavy. You don’t mind reading but you sort of dread this hefty manuscript. 

“I know. It is a lot but it will help you. Of course, I think the physical experience is a better teacher,” Kylo puts in his opinion. 

“Yes. I think so too,” You put the wrapped papers next to you. Kylo walks back to his desk again. 

“You are free to return to you room and read. I will see you in the morning,” He dismisses you. 

“Oh, so I’m dismissed?” You stand disappointed and picking up your papers. 

“What?” He looks back at you.

“I thought given our earlier conversation that we would… do something else…”

“What conversation?”

“You know that we… like each other…” You cannot believe he has already forgotten. 

“I told you before that just because we like each other does not mean I’m going to let you slack off on your training. You really need to study.” 

“As you command, master,” You pout and hang your head. You start for the door. You look back at him pitifully. He sighs. 

“Wait.”

You perk up at the word. 

“Yes, master?” You start to smile. 

“You forgot to take this,” He picks up the papers and puts them in your hands. “Now you can go.”

You frown.

“Goodnight, Sweetheart,” He smirks opening the door and pushing you out of his quarters. Sulking you journey back to your room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you don't mind me paraphrasing your earlier comment, Bngtandaeng. :)


	20. Interrogation Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dear Readers! I am so sorry for the delay in my updating. I'll try not to wait so long again. Please, enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 20  
Most of the night you stayed awake. You read every word Kylo wrote. If he didn’t want the feelings between you two to interfere with your training, you’d make sure it would not. You would work harder than he would expect. He told you to read so you read the whole dang book. You made notes. You even attempted to draw out what you would want your lightsaber to look like if you ever go to build one like Kylo did. You are glad that you took that nap yesterday or you’d still feel too unrested now as you dress for the day. 

You checked your bottom in the bathroom and found the ointment quickly healed the superficial marks left from Kylo’s stick spanking. His teeth marks are proving a bit harder to get rid of. But you put on your clothes anyway. You don’t even attempt anything special with your hair. Twin braids to go down your back suffices. You yawn several times but shake off the need to sleep. 

Knock. Knock. You hear your door. You know it must be Kylo. Putting on a cheery smile you open the door. He stands fully covered as usual. 

“Good morning, Master,” You greet him. 

“Sly,” he nods his head to you and enters your room. When the door closes, he takes off his helmet and walks to your bed where he looks at the papers scattered there. He picks up one of your pages of notes. 

“I see you were busy last night,” He puts the paper down. 

“Yes, sir. You told me to read so I did,” You hope he is impressed. He picks up more of your notes and then your drawing of your lightsaber. 

“This must have taken you most of the night to do,” He puts them back down and turns around to look at you. 

“Yes, sir, but it was important so I made sure to not let my disappointment from last night keep me from continuing my training,” You inform him.

“Disappointment? What were disappointed about?” His brows furrow. You lower your eyes demurely. 

“Well…I thought given our statements of our affection last night that we would have at least kissed or something, but you made it very clear that you didn’t want to interfere with my training. I was disappointed but I made sure to do all this work so you won’t feel that our feelings would get in the way of training,” You explain to him and gesture to the spread notes. Kylo puts his helmet on the bed.

“You did all this because you want a kiss?” He raises an eyebrow. You blush. 

“Well, it is important too but I don’t want you to think you can’t be affectionate with me because of my training,” You tuck a fly away hair you feel at your ear behind it. Kylo takes a step closer closing the space between the two of you. 

“Well, given the work you’ve done I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to…” His voice trails off. Your heart leaps in excitement. What would it not hurt to do? Softly, his plump lips find yours. You close your eyes to savor the feeling. You could just melt. He pulls away. 

“We have some work to do now,” Kylo grabs his helmet and puts it on. You have to admit that you are unsatisfied. You enjoyed the kiss but wish you two could continue to do more. 

“What work do we have for today?” You ask following him out of your room. 

“You need to work on the more cerebral parts of the force,” He keeps a quick pace but you are able to keep up with him. 

“Like mind tricks?” You recall the passage about how the force can be used to persuade weaker minds to do as the force wielder wishes. 

“Not that one right now.” He presses the button for the elevator.

“Then reading minds like you do?” “Then the mind reading thing you do,” You grow excited at the chance to learn how to see inside Kylo’s mind. The elevator opens and you two enter.

“You are not ready to read minds,” He dashes your hope but you don’t let it get you too down. “But we will work to it. I think it is more important for you to learn to shield your mind.”

“Shield it?”

“Yes. You’re exceptionally easy to read. I suppose that any force wielder will be able to penetrate it. You must learn to protect it.” He pokes your forehead.

The elevator doors open. He walks out silently. You rub your forehead. You don’t ask any more questions seeing a few troopers walking standing at attention before Kylo. They salute him as he passes. You know the two by their numbers. Though their faces are covered you know they were there yesterday in the cafeteria. You make no attempt to smile at them as you know they would not care if you did. 

Kylo stops at a door that quickly slides open. You enter and know exactly where you are. How could you not? The dark, cold room was practically empty except for the steel slab table with arm, leg and even a head restraint as well as a table full of ashes. The ashes of Kylo’s enemies according to KC-1886. You had heard so many screams come from the room when your patrol brought you past it. Why would Kylo bring you to the interrogation room?

The door shuts. You gulp although you have done nothing wrong. You can’t understand why he would bring you here.

“You’re not here to be punished,” Kylo breaks the heavy silence. 

“Oh?”

“I felt I might be easier for you to learn to protect yourself from mental penetration in a setting where it is most important you don’t give in,” Kylo gives his reasoning. 

“Okay…”

“Come to the chair,” Kylo calls the torture table. You step over and allow his hands to guide you. You step on the platform at the bottom and rest your back against the slab. He bends down and locks your legs in before locking your arms. The large iron cuffs look giant rings around you. 

“Comfortable?” He asks.

“Not exactly. Why are you restraining me?” Your brows furrow together. 

“So, you won’t have to worry about any other function except protecting your mind,” he presses a button that begins to tilt your back just a few degrees. 

“How do I begin to protect my mind?”

“Build a wall in your mind. Resist anything that feels like it maybe be probing.” Kylo removes his helmet and puts it on the pile of ashes. 

“Okay...” You close your eyes and begin to envision a literal wall in your mind.

“Think of a number and I’ll see if I can read it.”

Nine. You think.

“Nine,” Kylo says.

One thousand seven hundred and eighty-two.

“One thousand seven hundred and eighty-two.”

Eleven.

“Eleven.”

Nine million six hundred thousand ninety-nine.

“Nine million six-hundred ninety-nine.”

One-no, three

“One-no, three.”

Nineteen hundred seventy-one. Eighty-nine million. Sixty billion. Five hundred eighty-five trillion seven hundred forty-two billion six hundred fifty-five million and two. 

“Nineteen hundred seventy-one. Eighty-nine million. Sixty billion. Five hundred eighty-five trillion seven hundred forty-two billion six hundred fifty-five million and two.” Kylo recites each number easily.

You think of sixty more numbers. He says them all. You frown at your failure.

“Ugh. This so frustrating. I’d rather have him spank me with sticks than do this mind game. I’d rather be fucking than this honestly.” Kylo verbalizes your non-numerical thoughts making your cheek burn. 

“Why are you saying my other thoughts!” You want him to stop. 

“Because it is so easy. Often, I am stuck hearing your thoughts because you can’t block your mind. Sometimes I can even hear them across the base. Not all the time but often,” Kylo makes you even more embarrassed. You knew he could hear your thoughts sometimes but him reminding you just makes you more self-conscious. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. It is good for you not to have any secrets from me. I am your master after all,” He puts his hand on your shoulder as if to comfort you.

“I don’t want you to know all of my secrets,” You look away from him.

“Like what?” He gains a wicked look in his eye.

“I’m not going to tell you!” 

“Then I guess I’ll just take it from your mind,” he removes his hand from your shoulder. 

“No. I’d prefer that you didn’t,” You shake your head.

“Then keep it from me,” He challenges you. 

You know there are many things you want to hide from Kylo. Not that they are bad but they are very personal. Like how when you were younger you would kiss Kade Genti’s picture in your dorm room. But that was before you and FN-3181 kissed. The feel of the comic paper against your lips was far better than that of FN-3181’s chapped lips.

“You kissed FN-3181?” Kylo has succeeded in reading your mind.

“Shit! Stop reading my mind.” You throw your head back in frustration.

“You kissed FN-3181?” Kylo repeats the question his jaw clenched.

“Yes…Years ago,” You nod your head. Kylo’s body becomes rigid. His face remains tight but you can see his eyes growing darker.

“Did you fuck him too?” The inquiry makes you laugh. You see his lack of amusement. You stop.

“Kylo, you took my virginity…” You remind him. He pauses for a moment.

“How far did it go between you and him?” He returns to his questioning.

“We kissed one single time as teenagers. It was gross. Nothing ever happened after that.”

“It was just him? You didn’t kiss Lt. Mitaka or FN-2187?” His tone is accusatory. 

“I’ve only ever kissed Eight-One and you. No one touched me in between. Except for that stupid kiss, you are my first everything. I didn’t even masturbate till after you fingered me,” You lay your sexual history all out for him. His body relaxes. You sense his relief. 

“But what about you? Who was before me?” You ask after his own history. 

“That’s none of your concern,” He waves his hand as he waves off the question. 

“Uh! That’s not fair. I told you everything,” You scowl.

“As if you would have been able to hide it from me,” He snorts and smirks mockingly. Your anger stirs within. 

“I resent that. You know I’m trying.”

“Not hard enough,” He chuckles.

Your nostrils flare as you inhale and exhale harshly through them. Your eyes begin to narrow. Then you allow yourself to smile but not in the happy way you did earlier. No, you smile in a way that many men have learned to be a warning sign.

“You’re right, Master. I haven’t been trying hard enough. And I shouldn’t ask about your sexual past. Your sloppy, inexperienced love-making skills and the vision I had post sex confirmed how much of a virgin you were. I’m sorry for prying.” You watch his fists form and his lips press together as you fake contrition. Of course, you don’t really believe what you say. You do believe he was a virgin but he has easily turned into a sex god.

“Sloppy? Inexperienced?” Anger drips off the words that barely pass his clenched teeth.

“Yes. I mean I guess you’ve gotten a little better but I wouldn’t know. Maybe tonight I should go next door to Lt. Mitaka and find out how a man is really supposed to fuck me,” You bring up your new neighbor and look away from Kylo with pursed lips. You don’t’ care if this provokes Kylo. You’re mad at him. Kylo grabs your jaw to make you look at him.

“You think a sniveling worm of a man like Lt. Mitaka could fuck you better than me?” He growls, his eyes like daggers pointed at you.

“If you really want to know why don’t you just read my mind since it is the easiest thing in the world to you,” You glare. He holds out his hand toward you. Your head hits the back of the table. Your head begins to hurt like as if a hot iron poker is trying to stab it. You try to resist the pain. 

“You’re resisting,” Kylo’s voice holds surprise. You grit your teeth as the pain grows more. 

“It hurts,” You continue to grimace.

“It’s supposed to,” Kylo starts to hold his hand near your head. It feels like your brain is on fire. Tears of pain spill from your eyes. Kylo does not relent. He brings his fingers even closer to you. You can’t breathe. Your wall falls and the pain goes. You know he knows that you are lying. 

“I knew it. You think me a sex god and only want to fuck me, don’t you?” 

“Of course, I do. I only like you, you ass,” You snarl. 

Arrogance is written all over his face. You turn your eyes from him annoyed.

He doesn’t lower his hand. You look at him not sure why he is still in your mind. But now he is searching even deeper into your mind. You can feel him in your mind. You’re not sure what he is looking for but you don’t want him there. 

“Get out of my head,” You look him in the eyes. He leans down so your noses almost touch. 

“Make me.”

You try to build on your wall again. As you do, the pain returns. You grit your teeth as you try to push him out. He doesn’t lean away.

“Get out!” You scream. Kylo flies backward and hits the wall. You pant wishing you could cradle your head. The aching begins to fade away. You gasping you look at Kylo. His eyes are wide as he tries to push himself off the ground to which he slid after hitting the wall. 

Kylo makes his way over to you. He brings his face close to yours. He gives a smile then he seals his lips over yours. All the pain and aggravation you had felt melts away in the kiss. 

Restrained you can’t throw your arms about him or your legs. You have to stay with back flat against the slab and limbs away from him. His hands, however, are free to run over your body. They settle on your breasts. They pull the fabric covering them down. His mouth leaves yours to venture south to your freed bosom. 

Taking your right bud into his mouth, he suckles as if he were a babe as his other hand kneads you. You do your best to press your thighs together ask he sucks. You can feel your heat growing. He switches to the left. 

Kylo’s hand moves and begins lifting the skirt of your dress. His hand taps your pressed thighs. You part them and let his hand slide between them. Two fingers enter your dampening folds. Your eyes roll back as his digits curl inside you. Kylo removes his mouth from your chest but he keeps his fingers inside you.

“You love my fingers fucking you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” You have no reason to lie. 

Kylo pulls out his hard cock. You stare at it and lick your lips. 

“But you like my cock more. You want it. You’ve wanted since last night,” He rubs himself.

“Yes.”

“I saw what you want me to do to you in your mind. But say it. Say it out loud what you want me to do,” He slips a third finger in you now. 

“I-I want you fuck me with your cock. I want you to fuck till I cum and then keep fucking me. I want you to fuck me all day and all night. I never want you to stop fucking me!” You say exactly what you want. You see the pleasure growing on Kylo’s face with each word.

“And you never want any other man to fuck you?” He pulls out his fingers. You frown.

“No, only you. Only you, Kylo. No one could ever do it as good as you. Oh, please, fuck me!” 

You feel the restraints around your legs open. His hands go under your knees and lift them and your hips up. He holds them up and with trouble rams his cock into you. 

“Yes!” You moan out as he fills you up. His hips are rough and wild as he slams into you. You don’t care. As long as his cock inside you, you are happy.   
Kylo’s mouth goes to your neck. His teeth bite the tender flesh there. You cry out in the pain but find the pleasure in your cunt a comfort. 

“You’re all mine. No one else will ever fuck you. I won’t let them. You’re mine. You’re mine,” He chants as he adds more bites to your neck. You wish you could free your hands to pull on his hair but always you remain restrained. You grasp the cuffs the best you can as you feel your pleasure coming upon you. 

“Kylo. I’m going to-I’m going to-Ah!” You fail to finish your warning before you blow. He doesn’t care. He keeps running his cock into to your dripping wet cunny. His mouth returns to yours then you feel his own warmth fill you. He pulls his mouth away but not his cock. You look at him satisfied. Kylo’s eyes are on you but they look to be millions of lightyears away. He doesn’t even breathe. It has is he were stone. 

“Kylo?” You would shake him but you can’t because of your restraints. He blinks and breathes. He steps back form you letting your legs fall along with your dress. Panic is evident on his countenance.

“Kylo? What’s wrong?” You’ve quickly grown concerned. He blinks again and finally looks at your face. 

“I’m fine,” his voice his cold. He waves his hand and you are freed from your restraints. He tucks away his member. You get off the titled slab and cover your breasts. You come towards him. 

“What just happened? You’re acting strange,” You touch his arm. 

“Do you-are you-” He cannot make a full question. You’re dumbfounded. He has never been one to not know what to say. 

“Of course, you’re not,” He answers his unknown question for you. 

“Of course, I’m not what?” You do not understand. 

“No need for you to know or worry. Let’s go. We should both meditate,” Kylo decides. You press your lips together utterly baffled by this. 

“You should cover those marks,” Kylo points to your neck. You realize he made no attempt to mark you in a less noticeable area. You let down your hair allowing it to mask your injured flesh. Kylo turns and leads you out of the room. You can’t help but wonder what has happened to your master. 


	21. Nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thank you so much for over 300 kudos! I'm so honored. I appreciate the comments as well. I saw many similarities in them for the previous chapter. We'll see if you guessed right. :) Please, enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 21

Alone in Kylo’s quarters you find it hard to meditate like he said to do. He has put you in the room with the deformed helmet again. You know you should do as you did yesterday but your mind is too focused on Kylo and wondering what happened that made him act so…confusing. 

You look at the door separating you from him. You wish you could see into his mind and figure out what he must have seen despite being this far apart.   
Well, he can heart my thoughts clear across the base sometimes. Maybe I could try and read his…You turn your whole body to face the door. You are not sure how exactly what you are to do but you must make some attempt.

You close your eyes and begin to steady your breath. You reach out your hands. 

Show me. Show me. Show me. You repeat in your mind. In the darkness you begin to see some light and figure. The figure develops more to take the form of Kylo sitting at his desk in his bedroom. His forehead is wrinkled in puzzled frustration. He runs on of his hands through his dark mane. You stare at his head. In there is what you want to see.  
Your mind attempts to enter his head but you feel your body bounce off as if you had thrown yourself against a rubber wall. You will not give up though. 

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce. You are kept out of his head. You huff in aggravation at his impenetrable mind. 

Show me. Show me. Let me see. Let me see! You push once more. A small light seems to form a hole in his head. Are you getting in? 

You push more and then you start to see something in the light. You see a person. You must push more and more and more. 

There is a blue sky and green but mountainous earth. You can hear waves crashing and a throaty sort of bird call. You feel a cool breeze. Two people stand on a cliff. One is an older man with gray all in his hair and beard. He wears loose light-colored robes. You recognize him. He is the man who tried to kill Kylo in his past. It is Lucas Skyflyer! No-Luke Skywalker! He is much older than he was in the vision of Kylo’s past. 

A woman stands with him. Her back is to your view. Her hair is in simple braid and her clothes are rather loose and dark. She stands there as Luke has a hand cupping the back of her neck.

“My child,” He calls her tenderly as a father might call his daughter. It is a tone you’ve only heard in passing but never toward yourself. You hold no jealousy for the woman as you would hate for the one to treat you as his own child to be the murderous Luke Skywalker. 

You see no reason for Kylo to have stared at you and acted toward you the way he did. You are not there in the vision unless you are somewhere else or to appear at a different time in the vision. 

The call of your name sends you flying out of the vision and out of Kylo’s head. You can see his cross face now turned to face the door separating you two. 

Shit. You shake your head to lose the force sight of him. You keep your eyes closed even as you hear the door slide open. 

“What were you doing?” He grabs your shoulders roughly. You open your eyes. 

“I was just meditating,” You lie unconvincingly.

“You were trying to get in my head, weren’t you?” He knows. 

“I just wanted to see what freaked out so much. I know it had to be a vision. I just want to know what you saw,” You defend your action. 

“My visions are not to be of your concern,” He lets go of you. 

“I am concerned. You acted so strangely toward me afterward. If this vision stands to create a distance between us then I want to know of it so we can bridge the distance.” 

Kylo sighs and shakes his head as if to disapprove of your statement. 

“I saw part of it. I understand that Luke Skywalker is a person you hate to see but I don’t see why him interacting with the woman would bother you so much and make you keep your space from me.”

Kylo’s eyes are wide. 

“You saw into my mind?”

“Just a little… I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know whether to be mad or impressed.”

“Please, go with impressed. I hate to see you angry,” You share your preference. Kylo stands still and stares as he is prone to do. 

“What did you see of Skywalker?

“I just saw him talking to a woman I can’t identify and calling her his child. That is all,” You answer. 

“You didn’t recognize her, at all?” He remains perplexed. 

“No. Should I have?”

“Yes.”

“Who is she?”

“You.” 

“Me?” You drop your jaw at the reveal of the identity.

“Yes. So, you could imagine my surprise seeing you with my Uncle and him calling you that,” He finally explains. You quickly understand his concern of the vision. If his uncle was calling you his child then that could mean that you and Kylo are…

“It’s impossible. I have never met that man.” You begin to refute the possibility. 

“You don’t exactly have to meet your father for him to be your father,” Kylo points out. You frown. 

Could Luke Skywalker really be your father? You know nothing of your parents except that you were taken as an infant into the First Order’s trooper program. 

“But I do no believe that you could be his child. He practiced the ways of the Jedi and never had a lover. At least not that they anyone in my family knew. Of course, I was shocked to see that so I was at first believing that you and I are…But using my logic and knowledge of my uncle, I know it cannot be true.” He tries to ease your knew concern.

“You know for sure? He never had a secret lover or one-night stand that could had led to me?” You bring up the possibilities. 

Kylo pressed his pouty lips together as he considers this. Your stomach begins to twist uncomfortably at the idea that you may truly be Luke Skywalker’s bastard. If you are then what you and Kylo having been doing is-

“Let me into your mind,” Kylo leans down so his face is closer to yours again. 

“What good will that do?” 

“I can search your mind for your memories. I can see if I can find your parents,” He is earnest in his quest. You chew at the inner lining of your cheek and look away from him at the thought of him exploring all of your memories. He would see everything. He’d see your first period, when you shat your pants when you killed your first person, and every embarrassing thing you have ever done. He’d see the hateful thoughts you held toward him before you knew him. He would see the visions you had and know about that man you talked to in the in-between. You cannot let him see all of that. 

“You’re concerned,” He knows. 

“I just…there are something I don’t want you to know about me just as there are things you don’t want me to know about you. Surely, you can understand my reluctance to allow you to just go through my mind,” Your eyes focus on your palms. He puts his finger under your chin and lifts your face so his face is right before your eyes. 

“I told you that as your master you shouldn’t keep things a secret from me,” He reminds you. 

“Yes, but there are some things a woman doesn’t want to share about her past with her lover,” You pause having realized you have called him your lover out loud to him. Your cheeks flush and you see some color come to his as well. You have to hope that he is not upset by the title you have given him. 

“I understand but…if we are to continue being lover,” Your heart jumps when he uses your term. “I need to know that you aren’t his child. I don’t want to fuck my cousin.”

You sigh deeply. Your eyes start to water. 

“I don’t want you to see every embarrassing second of my life or see something that makes you not like me anymore,” You admit. 

“I doubt there is anything that would make me not like you anymore,” He gives you some comfort. 

“Do you really mean that?”

“I do. Besides, I won’t see everything. I will just be looking for your parentage so not everything will come to view. 

You take a few deep breaths as you contemplate the decision. Maybe he wouldn’t see everything…Should you let him?

“If you don’t let me then I will only treat you as a student. I won’t touch you again as a precaution,” He gives his ultimatum. It is reasonable but you hate that he will take away the physical intimacy that you have come to need. 

“If you search my mind and I am his, what will you do?” You are compelled to ask. 

“I will do what I must,” He remains vague. 

“You’ll kill me?” You assume.

“No. I will keep you as my apprentice but we won’t be lovers,” He makes it clear. 

“What id you search and you find nothing about Skywalker or even about a father for me?”

“Then…I may still treat you as my apprentice as I wouldn’t be able to know for sure. Just let me look and we will know.”

“Fine…” You give into the request. 

“I will do my best not make it painful and only see what I need to see,” He stands up straight again. You grip the seat in preparation for the mental invasion. You look into those dreamy eyes of his as he stretches out his hand. 

Although you are willing, there is still pain as he begins searching mind’s memories. The pain is similar to the first time he fingered you, uncomfortable but bearable. Unfortunately, the comfortableness does not change to pleasure. Breathing proves difficult but you keep your eyes on his. You focus on them so your mind won’t wander or panic. 

Kylo’s face remains passive which is rather calming for you. If there were any flashes of anger you would have become fearful that he discovered something he disliked and therefore he no longer liked you. Suddenly, his eyes begin to fill with tears. It is strange. You have never seen him cry. Technically he isn’t crying. He is just on the verge. What is he seeing that is making him react like this?

“Kylo? What? What is wrong?” You ask. 

“Nothing,” He shakes his head and blinks several times to get rid of his forming tears. You don’t believe him but you can’t press him now. 

“I can see I’m coming closer to your first memories…”

“What do you see?” You ask curious of your own past. Kylo is silent and acts as if he didn’t hear you. You begin to lose your breath waiting for him to say something, anything.

He frowns deeply. Had he seen Skywalker? Was he your father? Had he found nothing? Was your father a mystery still? Kylo’s hand lowers and the pain in your head subsides. You don’t take a new breath but stare at him. You must know. Are you a Skywalker?

“Kylo…who are my parents?” You squeeze your seat in anxious anticipation. 

“You come from nothing. Your mother worked in a pleasure house and your father ran the bar there. They gave you to the First Order since children are bad for business,” Kylo reveals your past. You try to process the information you have long forgotten. You feel some relief knowing now that you and Kylo are not related. You are the child of Skywalker. But there is disappointment and sadness inside you now. Now you know your parents willingly gave you away as you meant nothing to them. You are nothing to them. You come from nothing and you are nothing. You don’t mean to cry but you can’t stop yourself. 

“You’re nothing,” Kylo says the very thought you’ve learned making your eyes expel more tears. He kneels before you. He takes your wet cheeks in his hands and brings his face closer to yours. 

“But not to me.” He finishes his statement. 

“What am I to you?” You ask without thinking. The question does not make him release you to look away. He keeps eyes dead on you. 

“You’re…”

Bang. Bang. Bang. You both hear the sound coming form the other room. Kylo lets you go and leaves the room. You stay in the room but with the door open now, you see Kylo put on his mask and see him open his quarters’ door from where the loud banging comes. General Hux stands there. 

“You are late for our meeting, Ren. I have three admirals waiting in the conference room. They are furious at having to wait and-” General Hux’s face is almost as red as his hair. 

“I will be there in a moment, General Hux,” Kylo shut the door before the General can say anything else. Kylo goes to grabs his gloves from his desk.

“Stay and meditate. Don’t leave until I return and tell you that you can.”

You nod accepting your instructions. He leaves you alone. You walk out of the Vader room and sit on Kylo’s bed. You take a breath and fall back onto the bed.   
What was he going to say? What are you to him?

“I can’t dwell on this. I must do as he said. I need to meditate,” You sit up. You cross your legs as your sit on the bed. You find it far more comfortable than sitting in the other room in the chair with that helmet staring at you. 

Closing your eyes, you center yourself and begin to focus on quieting your mind. It is difficult. Your mind keeps jumping between Kylo and your parents.   
You had wondered about them but knowing the truth now, you sort of wish you didn’t. Knowing they didn’t care about you weighs on you like a dark heavy cloud. You are nothing. 

“But not to me.” You remind yourself of Kylo’s words. He doesn’t think of you as nothing. You are something. You are not sure what but you are. You don’t need your parents. You never have. You grew up just fine without them. If they had cared to keep you then you would have grown up in a pleasure house. You probably would have been taught to use your body to make a living and never get to experience what you have start to with Kylo. You never would have even met Kylo. What a terrible existence that would have been. 

It is good they gave you away. It is easy to forgive their lack of love now that you are where you are. Now, you are with Kylo who thinks of you as…not nothing. Not nothing is so much better. 

The cloud begins to dissipate as your mind goes to your lover. The feel of his hands on your face is still fresh on your flesh’s memory. Being held by him in anyway is rather soothing and almost peaceful.

Though the Sith say peace is a lie, you can’t help feeling that this fact may be wrong. You turn your mind to quiet itself. 

Still is the water you see. A sun shines brightly above it and reflects on the surface. A bird flies steadily above it. Its reflection is perfect as well. You feel yourself floating on the undisturbed surface. Even with your body in it there are no ripples. You feel an energy flowing in yourself. It is so serene. You stay in this space and allow yourself to feel the energy, the force. 

“Hello,” You hear a voice. You look to your side and floating in the water with you is the long-haired stranger you met. His sudden appearance is surprising but you do not lose your spot in the peaceful place. 

“Hello…” 

“I see you are learning to use the force very well,” He notes. 

“Yes. My master is teaching me well,” You give credit to Kylo. 

“I must warn you, child. He is trying to lead you down the same path as him. It is not a path you should follow.”

“I don’t care what path he leads me down as long I get to be with him,” you look up to the sky and not to the man. His lips downturn at your statement. He calls your name and you look at him again. 

“You can’t go down his path. You must turn from it.”

“Then we will be apart. I do not want that.”

“If you turn, he will follow you,” the man claims.

“Follow me?” Your eyebrows fly up.

“Yes. His heart will follow yours.”

The idea almost makes your body tingle. But you shake your head. Kylo cares for you and likes you but you sincerely doubt he would follow you anywhere. 

“What exactly am I to be leading to?”

“The light.”  
  
“The light? Ha. I have no idea how to even go to the light. Kylo and I use the darkness,” You are baffled by this man. 

“He is in the darkness but you…you are light. Not a brilliant light like the sun but a faint shining star.”

“No, I am using the dark side of the force. You are from the dark side of the force, right?”

“No.”

“Who are you?” You finally ask.

“Anakin,” he answers. 

“Why do you keep coming to me, Anakin, if you are light and I am dark?”

“You are not dark. If you were, I wouldn’t be able to reach as easily and you wouldn’t be in a peaceful place like this.”

You can’t believe him. How could you be using the light when all you have been taught is darkness?

“But why me? Why do you keep coming to me?” You bring up your first question. 

“Because I know you can help save Ben,” Anakin answers. 

“Who is Ben?” The water begins to ripple with your aggravation at the strange name.

“You know who he is,” Anakin is convinced. 

“I really don’t.” You huff in frustration. The water begins to move more. The sun begins to fade. The bird is gone. 

“You must control your emotions,” Anakin advises. 

“I am to embrace my emotions. They will give me power in the force,” You recall the doctrine of the dark side. 

“You don’t care about power,” Anakin points out. 

“I care about pleasing Kylo. He’s wants me to be powerful so I will gain it.”

Anakin frowns again. 

“There is only one power you truly need and you won’t gain it in embracing your anger and frustration.”

You take a deep breath and try to calm yourself. The water smooths slightly. 

“And what power is that?” You ask Anakin. He starts to smile. 

“You know what it is.”

The response makes you groan in aggravation. He disappears and you feel yourself fall. 

With a thud you open yourself. You are no long in the water. You are in Kylo’s room. You sit up and feel yourself drenched in sweat. You look around for some means to find the time. You a small clock on the desk. The hour shocks you. Had the day really passed this fast? How did you meditate for so long? 

You look around the room and find Kylo has not returned. It is strange. It has been hours. Had his meeting extended itself? 

It does not matter. He will return you as he said. You have no desire to continue meditating especially after talking to that frustrating Anakin fellow. 

“A shower would be nice,” You tell yourself. You go to Kylo’s bathroom. He isn’t there to tell you not to shower. So, you remove your clothes and go to clean yourself. 

As you wash yourself you do not think of Kylo. You think of Anakin and what he said. Would Kylo really follow you? And who is it you know who is Ben? You have never met a Ben.

Cleaned and dried, you return to Kylo’s room in a towel. You know you could put on your dress but you have no desire to do so. In fact, all the mental stress from the day has worn you out. You just want to lie down. 

You drop the towel on the floor and crawl into Kylo’s bed. You lay your head on one of his pillows and cover yourself with his blanket. You lay on your side facing away from the main door. You inhale the musky scent that belongs to Kylo. It is comforting. Your eyes begin to rest themselves. Your muscles relax and soon you are lost to sleep. 

The call of your name is soft. You want to open your eyes but they stick together in refusal to open. You feel something heavy on the mattress making it shift. Some cool air comes with the lifting of the blanket. You feel the warmth of body as it comes closer to you. You feel the smooth skin of a man’s chest press against your back. Light fingers pull the hair away from your neck. You feel warm breath against it. You hear your name again. You know the voice. You want to answer but you are so tired. Your mouth refuses to open just like your eyes. 

A kiss is planted on the pulse in your neck. Another goes to your shoulder. Your name is whispered again. You just can’t respond. An arm snake around your waist and holds you closer. The lips go to the crook of your neck then rest by your ear. 

“Sleep well, Sweetheart.” 

He pulls his head away but still holds you close. You enjoy the hold and find it yourself fully returning to your rest.


	22. Sweetheart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 22

The massage of your breasts, gentle tweaks of your nipples and something familiar and hard pressed against the backside of you, slowly wakes you. You feel his thick lips on your neck marking its territory. Without saying a word, you lift up your top leg and push back your hips so your bottom is pressed against his hard member. Taking the silent hint, Kylo removes on hand from your chest to guide his morning’s wood to your entrance. His hand returns to your breast as he enters. You moan at the welcomed intrusion. 

Slow but filling are his strokes inside you. His mouth travels up and down you neck and shoulder. His hands don’t lose their grip on you either. His name repeatedly falls from your lips. One of his hands leaves your breast so it can play with your clit. You shudder at the touch and close your eyes as you enjoy it. Kylo’s hips rock just a bit faster giving you more pleasure from the increased internal friction. His teeth find your ear. 

“I love fucking you. It’s like your cunt was made for my cock,” He whispers in the ear he has just tasted. 

“Only your cock. It is only for you,” You pant. 

“That’s right. You’re mine. This tight little cunt is mine too. Only mine,” His speed builds more. 

“Yes. All yours. I’m all yours, Kylo.”

“No one has or ever will make you feel like my cock does,” He praises himself.

“No. Only you make me feel good, Kylo,” You agree gripping his hand that clutches your breast as you feel yourself reaching your limit. 

“And you…” Kylo pauses only his words but not his movements, “You’re the only woman I ever want to fuck.”

You’re not sure if it is his statement or the way he pinches your clit that sends you into a tow curling orgasm. You allow yourself to enjoy the moment of physical and emotional ecstasy. You hardly notice when Kylo finishes inside you until he stops moving. You come down from your high but still lay in Kylo’s arms that have return to simply holding you close to him. You can feel his heartbeat through his chest. 

“Do you really mean that?” You don’t look back at him. 

“Yes.”

Tears come to yours eyes. Tears of joy not sadness. You bring up your hands to wipe them away before he can see them. He pulls out of you and lets you go. He sits up in his bed. You push yourself and sit up next to him. You don’t care that his blanket doesn’t cover you as you sit up. 

“Kylo?”

“Yes?”

“Yesterday, you were going to tell me what I am to you but you left before you did,” You bring up the situation that was interrupted by General Hux. Kylo’s eyes turn toward the edge of the bed away from you. 

“Oh, yes. I had to go to that meeting and then I went to Pillio to get information about Skywalker,” Kylo informs you of why he was gone so long. 

“I see…So before you left, what were you going to say?” You ask. The lightest shade of pink comes to his pale cheeks.

“It’s time for us to train,” He begins to move to leave the bed. You grab his arm.

“Tell me, Kylo,” You keep your grip tight. 

“It’s not important. Let’s get to work,” He pulls his arm away again. You grab him with both hands now. 

“Kylo, it is important, at least to me. Please, tell me,” You plead. He pulls away again and stands up keeping his back toward you. Your anger swells in your chest at his refusal to answer. 

“If you’re not going to tell me then I’ll force it from you!” You sit up on your knees. He looks back with a smug, disbelieving smirk. 

“And how would you do that?”

You hold out your hands and with a single fluid motion you are able to use the force to pull him back down onto the bed. You get atop him and straddle his sides. You hold down his wrists with the force as well. His smugness is gone. 

“Let me go,” He orders calmly,

“Not until you tell me what you think of me,” You give your condition. He presses his lips together. You can see he is not going to speak. 

“I guess I am going to have to get in your head,” You hold your hand out toward his head.

“You can try but you’re not skilled enough for that yet,” He laughs. Your anger boils in you. You keep your hand steady and focus on his mind. 

Kylo resists as expected. You will not give up though. If he won’t out right say what he thinks then you will probe his mind until you find the answer.

“You’re not going to get in my head, Sweetheart.” The pet name is said mockingly unlike the gentle way he said it to you when he thought you were asleep. You smirk at the recollection as well at the memory of the other times he referred to you as “Sweetheart”.

“Sweetheart? Is that what I am to you? Is that why you called me that last night when you wanted to cuddle with me in my sleep? Am I your sweetheart?” You lean down close to his face that reddens. 

“I thought you were asleep.”

“I was mostly asleep. So, is that it? Am I your sweetheart?” You start to giggle all too pleased at the possibility that is what you are to him instead of just his fuck toy and apprentice. He scowls at you.

“Right now, you’re a pain in my ass.” He grumbles. You keep grinning.

“But otherwise, am I your sweetheart? Tell me, Kylo. Am I your sweetheart?”

Kylo’s displeasure begins to turn. A glint of mischief of comes in his deep brown eyes. The corner of his mouth begins to curve up. You start to lose your grin seeing his change. 

“I thought you could look into my mind for it yourself,” He brings up your earlier decision. You lose your arrogant confidence. 

“Well…”

“Come on now. Invade my mind,” he challenges you in a teasing tone. 

“Fine. I will,” You stiffen your lip. You hold your hand out toward his head again. You lock your eyes with his. You begin to control your focus in peering into his mind. You did it once surely you can do it again. 

Show me! Show me! Show me! Show me! Your fingers begin to curl in frustration. Kylo remains all too pleased with your failure. 

Let me in! Let me in! Let me-

Darkness surrounds you then light. You’re no longer in Kylo’s room. You are in soft white room with rich purple curtains and gray steel furnishings with purple and cream cushions. Everything is quiet and still in the room. You look around the room and find in the center a circular small bed with a strange circle above it. Small lights that resemble stars and a tiny, funny looking ship hang from the circle above the bed. You approach the bed and look inside. You smile seeing a dark-haired baby laying there. His eyes are black and stare up at the circular device. 

“How adorable,” You remarks staring at the child. He resembles the child you saw in your vision but younger. Is this another vision? 

A woman enters the room. You step back from what you know now is a crib. As she comes into the light you see her brown hair is tied up in four elaborate buns atop her head. Her gown is the darkest shade of green you have ever seen. Except for the billowing sleeves and a long flowing skirt, the dress hugs her body. A smile graces her face. You know her. She is Kylo’s mother. You know now that the babe must be Kylo. 

“Good morning, my love,” She comes to the cradle. She lifts him up and holds him close. A man enters as well. You know immediately the less fabulously dressed man is Kylo’s smuggler father. 

“Is he up? Oh, he is. Let me see him,” The man starts to take the infant from his mother. 

“Watch his head, Han,” The woman hesitantly hands over the child.

Han? Kylo’s father is named Han? Han Ren?

“I’ve got him, Sweetheart,” Han cradles the babe’s head giving some support to the babe’s neck. He holds up the boy and smiles proudly. Kylo’s mother smiles as well looking at the father and son. You do not fail to notice the name Han calls his wife. 

“He’s getting big, isn’t he?” Han remarks. 

“Yes. He’ll be bigger than Chewy soon,” Kylo’s mother chuckles as Han lets out a boisterous laugh. 

“I’d love to see that. Can you really imagine our Ben bigger than a Wookie?” 

Ben? Did he say Ben? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a bit short. The next will not be as short.


	23. Ben Solo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Thank you for the kudos and comments. I hope you all have been enjoying this story so far and will enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 23

You struggle to understand. Is Kylo Ben? Is he the Ben Anakin spoke of? How can his name be Ben? His name is Kylo…

Your body jumps through time or memory in this instance. Many images pass you by at once. All of them are of young Kylo-no Ben. Ben grows alongside his father, mother, an affectionate Wookie, a dashing cape-wearing man and a blonde man who you know must be younger Luke Skywalker. You can feel the love between the group as you watch them. 

There is pain in your chest as you watch the distance grow between Ben’s parents and the distance between them and Ben. You feel the sadness and betrayal as Ben watches his parents speak in secret about his abilities and plans to send him away. You can also hear a dark voice repeatedly speaking to Ben. You’ve heard it before but are not sure who it is. 

Before you know it, you watch Ben now a teen dressed in rather shabby beige clothes. He stands a head taller than most near him. He holds a lightsaber in his hand. Unlike the three holed one with red light shooting out, this one has a single opening and the light is blue. Across from him a dark-skinned but light-haired female also holding a blue light saber. Ben smirks confidently at girl. 

They begin to battle. Ben is the stronger of the two but the girl puts up a great fight. They manage to use the force to throw each other back or manipulate other objects to attack. This girl comes at Ben so angrily but he just looks amused. Is she an apprentice he had before you?

“I will defeat you, Ben Solo,” She declares as their lightsabers meet above their heads. 

Solo? Ben Solo? Then is his father Han, Han Solo? He’s Han Solo! 

“We’ll see, Voe,” Ben slides his leg behind her ankle and makes her fall down. He holds his lightsaber to her neck and grins. She scowls. She uses the force to push him away. She begins to attack him again with her lightsaber. They duel with great flare and block each other as if it were simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing to do. Voe manages to get Ben to be backed against a wall of a house made of rocks far away from the other beige wearers. Their blades black and hold between their chest. In the moment both will not give up. You see Voe’s eyes soften and look at Ben’s lips. Ben watches her moving eyes. Voe leans across the blades and puts her lips on Ben’s. His eyes bulge at the contact. 

You gasp at the sight. They are kissing! Your heart aches at the sight. Was this how Kylo felt when he learned you kissed Fn-3181? If so, you can now understand his anger. 

Watching them you cannot help but wonder, does he like her? Did he do the things with her that he does with you? Did he ever call her Sweetheart? 

Ben pushes Voe off and wipes his mouth. Voe blushes seeing this as a rejection of her affection. 

“I was just trying to distract you, I didn’t mean that,” Voe claims trying to cover her embarrassment. 

“Sure…” Ben looks away from her. 

“I trust you won’t say anything of this to anyone,” Voe rubs her arm. 

“I won’t,” Ben promises. 

Now you see Ben on a ship with his father. You recognize this memory. It is like the one you saw when you two made love on Hoth. His father sits across from him and hands him a wrapped package. 

“You’ve gotten to an age and as your father I feel I should talk to you about some things that I am sure your uncle won’t talk to you about,” Han holds a serious look on his face. 

“What sort of things?”

“Well, you know…women. When I was your age I was very interested in them and wished my father would have advised me on them,” Han explains.   
Ben just sits silently not sure what to say.   
“I’m not great with words so I brought that book. I know this won’t be approved by your Uncle Luke or your mother, but you are a Solo man. Women will naturally flock to you. You should know what to do,” Han grins. 

Ben opens the packaging. You blush as does Ben at the sight of the book called _Cosmos Sutra_. You know this book. It was in Kylo’s desk in his quarters. His father gave him this book

“These are just some pointers. And you will have to learn what works for you and your partner. Don’t let it overwhelm you or make you think you’ve got to use these moves the first time you make love. Or have you already…?” Han is not sure how to ask if his son has lost his virginity. 

“No. I haven’t yet,” Ben is completely red. 

“That’s alright. It is good to wait for the right girl.” 

“According to the Jedi texts, we shouldn’t have romantic attachments,” Ben brings up the rules of the Jedi. Han chuffs at the comment. 

“Jedis,” He rolls his eyes and leans across the table and puts his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Ben, the love of a good women can give a man more power than the force ever could. Don’t deny yourself that attachment because some religious freaks couldn’t laid and didn’t want anyone else to either.”

Ben gives a little smile at the advice. Han leans back from his son. 

“Now, kid, when you make love to a woman for the first time, ever, make sure you look her in the eyes. It makes you two feel like you’re the only people in the world,” He speaks softly as he gives his advice then he smirks and glances away, “At least that’s how it feels when I look in your mother’s eyes when we-”

“Dad! Gross,” Ben cringes. Han laughs. 

“You’re a good kid, Ben. But I have to go. Chewy and I have a run for the Kanjiklub,” Han stands up. You feel the disappointment Ben now feels seeing his father preparing to leave. Han pauses. 

“Do you want to come with us?” Han offers. Ben thinks on the offer but shakes his head.

“I can’t. I have to keep training,” Ben stands holding the book to his chest. Han sighs but smiles. He comes across to his son and brings his hand to Ben’s cheek. He stares at him for a long moment. 

“I’ll see ya around, kid,” Han winks and walks away.

Sadness comes again from the memory then anger. 

You see so many more moments of Ben growing up. He trains alongside that girl who kissed him as well as a few others. Luke Skywalker is their master. Ben is superior to all earning some of the other students’ jealousy. Yet he cannot seem to hold his uncle’s attention. Ben is often left to his own devices. You hear the dark voice you heard earlier. The one you are not sure about. 

You watch Ben begin to avoid his friends and attempt different exercises. You can feel him experiencing anger toward his uncle ignoring him as well as some hate. He is lonely as well having no more visits form his father or mother. You feel his greed grow for more power. Is it to impress his uncle or just for his own self? You don’t know but he works hard and listens to the voice. 

You see Ben meet Supreme Leader Snoke. But their interactions are sped along in your view. You do not know of what they speak.   
Memories you have already seen before come and go quickly such as Luke Skywalker attempting to kill him and Snoke taking him. You see his bleeding of his kyber crystal and

his new lightsaber. 

You see newer memories of him with the masked group you have heard be called the Knights of Ren. He kills the leader at some point. It is Snoke who then gives Ben his new name “Kylo Ren”. 

You watch Kylo lead the Knights before somehow ending up as a Commander in the First Order. He kills so many with little to now no remorse. He is given the helmet of Darth Vader which he keeps for himself to speak to often instead of other people. He is always alone though. He has no one close to him. Through all of this, you feel the overwhelming weight of his loneliness. It pains your heart to know he feels this. You too have felt this before in your own past. 

The speeding images that fly by your eyes slow and focus in on Kylo’s quarters. He exits the door and stops. You want to die of embarrassment as you see yourself helmetless and drunk groping the walls and then suddenly him. You watch the horror on your own face as you saw him. Humor is the emotion you sense. Did Kylo think it funny?

You want to move on from this memory of your first interaction and it does. It hops to you and him in the conference room when he first decided to punish you. You are on your knees and he holds his lightsaber in his hands. You remember how you sad you were and how you tried not to cry. Seeing it form this angle you see Kylo’s saber was nowhere near you. He really did not intend to kill you.

You watch as he decides to recondition you and your acceptance. It is here that you sense his arousal. It is almost overwhelming.   
You want to look away as you stripped before him. But his mind is so clear and focused on every detail of your naked body. You are forced to watch the first few sexual experiences between the two of you in great detail.

The memories return to more wholesome ones such as your assignment to go with him on Hoth. You feel his anger toward you for being there. It is anger and concern? 

On the command shuttle, you see everyone there but you hear their thoughts as well. As you change behind Kylo, you can hear FN-3181’s thoughts. They are entirely about your breasts. Seeing Kylo up close you notice something hard under his clothes. Was he getting aroused hearing Eight-One’s thoughts about your breasts? 

The journey on Hoth has you sensing mixed feelings from Kylo. There is anger, concern, and arousal. When the Wampas attack you can sense his fear but also his confidence. But when Kylo wakes and finds you with him you sense his relief. Watching you two talk, his relief has turned to comfortableness then arousal.   
As he was exploring your body and prepared to make love to you, you feel he has no shame or concern. He is just happy. It only when he is about to enter you the first time that he hesitates. A moment panic had come over him. He was nervous. 

Knowing now that this was truly his first-time having sex, he was nervous about it. But once he is inside you, you feel his happiness again. Just like you there is a moment when your eyes were connected that he feels completely one with you and has forgotten all things about you and him.

All memories begin to speed by again. They are all of you. None of them hold that horrible feeling of loneliness. There are some moments of jealousy, anger, and when the memories of Kessel and your almost decapitation come, he felt worried and afraid. Overall, you can sense that when he is with you, he feels happy. When you became his bodyguard and stuck by his side no matter what he was happy, When you were told to be his apprentice, he was happy. When you told him you liked him, he was happy. You make him happy. It is a feelings long since gone from him. He has not felt this since before he became Kylo.

You see him caressing your sleeping body. You know it is from last night. He calls you “sweetheart”. You see him holding you close. You see that when he woke in this morning, he still had you in his arms. You are still fast asleep. He begins to whisper in your ear. What is it he says?

“Get out of my fucking mind!” Kylo screams. You feel yourself dislodged from his mind. You are back on top of Kylo. His body is taut beneath you. He is drenched in sweat. His teeth as exposed as they are gritting together. His eyes are watery but there no tears. You take your hand away and release him. He sits up and pushes you off him. He gets up from the bed. He grabs his desk and breathes heavily. 

You sit staring at him. You have realized so many things. You know now he was Ben Solo. He loved his family but they left him, betrayed him and made him so lonely. The he was a Knight of Ren and he joined the First Order but he was still so lonely. But with you, he isn’t lonely. You can understand him better now. 

You get out of the bed and start toward him. You put your had on his arm. He looks back you with a fearsome glare. It does not scare you. He is just being defensive. 

“What all did you see?” He doesn’t know. 

“Enough to better understand you now and to know what I am to you,” You answer keeping your hand lightly on his arm. 

“Leave. I need to be alone,” Kylo pulls away from you. 

“No. You’ve been alone long enough, Ben.”

“What did you call me?” He grabs you by your arms. You swallow hard but don’t deter your eyes from his hard ones.

“Ben. Your name is Ben Solo.”

“I am not Ben Solo anymore.”

“When your mask is off, you are.”

His fingers curl into the flesh of your arms. It hurts but you don’t care. You know you are right.

“I can’t be Ben. I must be Kylo Ren.”

“You can be both. You are both. You are Kylo Ren with everyone but more often than not, you are Ben with me. I like you no matter what you are called. In either form, I will stay by your side.”

His eyes are wide and wet at your claim. His fingers relax on your now sore arms then remove themselves completely from you. His lips part to speak but they close before any words come out. He opens them again. 

“I would like to be alone with my thoughts. Please, dress and leave. I will come for you when the time is right,” Kylo steps back from you. You want to say no but you don’t want to protest when he has requested this so calmly. You nod and do as he asks. 

Back in your own room you wonder if you overstepped or if you too far in your mind probing. You didn’t mean to probe so much. You didn’t even know you could. You don’t regret it though. But of course, now that you know Kylo is Ben you must figure out why you must save him, from what you are to save him, and how.


	24. Waiting and Waiting and Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I greatly appreciate them. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 24

You sit in your room waiting for Kylo to come or at least summon you. You wait and wait. He fails to come despite the hours ticking by slowly. You regret leaving his room at his order. You should have stayed. You should have planted your feet firm. Was he testing you to see if you leave him upon his request? Oh no! It was a test. You said you wouldn’t leave him and you did. How stupid could you be? But maybe it wasn’t. Maybe he really did need time alone with his thoughts. Even though you are not physically at his side you are still by his side in spirit. But is that good enough? You should be with him. You should go to him. You should go to him. But he said he would come to you when the time was right. When will the time be right for him to come?

Knock. Knock. 

You jump at the sound. You rush to the door desperate to see if it is Kylo. Your hopes are dashed when you open the door and see Two-Six there. You force on a smile.

“Hello,” You greet her. 

“Hello,” she responds. 

“Please, come inside,” You step aside and allow her to step inside. She remains silent but you watch her move her head around as if to look about it. 

“This is a bit bigger than the dorms, isn’t it?” You break the silence and vocalize what you think Two-Six is thinking. 

“It is.” Two-Six keeps her response short. You’re not exactly sure why. 

“Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know how I am supposed to act around you. We’re not equals anymore in rank or ability as I have come to learn through the stories told around the base. I’m not even sure what I am to call you anymore,” Two-Six voices her issue. 

“Well, I am to be called Sly. But I don’t mind if you want to still call me Seven-One. And don’t think of me any differently than before. I’m the same old me except I’m not hiding my ability anymore. Treat me as you always have, as a friend,” You put your hand on her arm. 

“So, you’re not going to force choke me or throw me across a room if I say something you disagree with?” Two-Six brings up the now infamous moments of weakness. 

“I’ll try not to.”

Two-Six releases a little chuckle. She takes off her helmet. 

“Did you really try to kill Eight-One and Nines?” She asks. 

“Well…no…but you have to understand, both provoked me. Nines was being an ass and Eight-One was going to have me sent to reconditioning and he called me a ‘whore’.”

“He did what?” Two-Six is outraged. 

“He called me a whore. It was all because-” You give Two-Six a summary of what occurred after Two-Six left you in the cafeteria with Eight-One and then all the business with Captain Phasma. 

“He is the absolute worst,” Two-Six groans, “You should have finished the job.”

“Commander Ren says he will be dealt with…I don’t think he liked me being insulted like that,” You think of your absent Master. 

“So, Commander Ren was not upset that you hid your ability from him?”

“No. And he has been a very involved teacher. I mean he wrote all of this for me,” You gesture to your bed. You never cleaned it up from the previous day so it is covered in the papers.

“I thought so. I mean he went to me personally and ordered me to spar with you today. He even warned me that the force may be used on me in the match as is expected of his apprentice,” Two-Six brings up the conversation. 

“He came to see you?” You are surprised. Two-Six nods. He went to Two-Six? He went to her not to you? 

“Has he been controlled around you? He hasn’t hurt you, yet right?” Two-Six checks your well being.

“I only get hurt during training as is normal. Otherwise, he is quite…” You think on the past couple of days, “gentle and understanding.”

“I cannot imagine him that way,” Two-Six admits. 

“I know, but he is. And he is so much more than I originally thought,” You think of what you had just seen of his true past. Your longing for him is not so easy to suppress at this moment.

“Is there something wrong, Seven-One?” Two-Six asks. 

“What? Why would you ask that?” You don’t know why but you have become defensive. 

“I can see it in your eyes. Something is wrong.”

You bite your inner cheek and turn your eyes from her. 

“Tell me what’s going on, Seven-One. I am your friend after all,” She puts her hand on yours.

“I did something this morning and found out something I probably shouldn’t have. I’m glad I found out though…but I think Ky-Commander Ren is upset with me. He told me to go away till he came to me. It’s been hours and I’ve seen no trace of him. I’m afraid he is mad at me and doesn’t like me anymore. I’m afraid he is never going to speak to me again,” You spill your fears but keep it vague as to protect Kylo’s secrets. 

Two-Six just nods her head as she listens. She pats your hand before she responds. 

“I assume you won’t tell me what you learned but that is fine. I doubt Commander Ren would be happy to learn that I know some secret about him. But this reminds me of something that happened between me and FN-0878,” Two-Six’s eyes grow misty recalling her former lover but she blinks it away so that she may continue.

“When Seven-Eight and I decided to begin our relationship, we promised to be completely honest with each other about everything. He really was but I…I had a secret that I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t want him to know that I was the one who reported him for contraband to Captain Phasma that resulted in him getting assigned to patrol duty on some swamp planet for three months. He had told me it was one of the worst experiences of his life and that he would never forgive who ratted him out. So, I never told him.”

“Well, that is understandable, Two-Six,” You see no problem. 

“Yes, well, then fucking FN-3181’s loose lips revealed the truth to Seven-Eight. He was furious with me. I tried to apologize to him but he just ignored and avoided me. I was a wreck. I thought that he hated me and that we were done. But after sometime he cooled off, he came to me. He was honest about his anger toward me and his feelings of betrayal. But now that it was out in the open, we could truly be honest with each other and continue in our relationship. When I told him how afraid I was of losing him, he told me that nothing could ever turn his heart from me. No matter how mad he may get, his anger would never usurp his love for me,” Two-Six finishes her tale. You can see love still in her eyes. You know that no matter what happened in her reconditioning that Two-Six still loved Seven-Eight. You could sense that despite Seven-Eight being shipped off somewhere else and reconditioned as well that he still loved Two-Six as well though you don’t know why you can feel it.

“I reference all of this to say that you should give Commander Ren time to calm down. I’m sure that whatever you did is forgivable and his affections toward you have not changed. If they had, you’d probably be dead.”

“You’re right. I do wish though that he would be honest with me as Seven-Eight was with you.”

“Tell him. If you are fully honest with him then he may consent to being fully honest with you,” Two-Six advises. 

“I will. Thank you, Two-Six. You’ve been such a great help to me,” You hug her. Your fear has faded greatly. You are so glad to have her as your friend. 

“That’s what friends are for. Now, we better go get to fighting. Commander Ren has no feelings for me so I cannot disobey his orders,” Two-Six remembers her purpose for coming and puts on her helmet. You nod in agreement. 

The two of you make your way quickly to the sparring room. Fortunately, it is empty for the current time. You quickly braid your hair so it will not be a bother to you. Two-Six goes to the wall of blunted weapons often used in practice. She presents you with a dull sword as she holds her own.

“Commander Ren said to work on your swordmanship,” Two-Six reveals more of her Commander Ren’s conversation. You take the sword from her. You think on the last time you and Kylo fought with the sticks. These swords are much heavier but at least Two-Six won’t spank you with it. Or so you assume.

Fighting Two-Six is much easier than trying to fight Kylo. You know it is a mix of having fought Two-Six many times before and your new ability to manipulate the force. It is easier to throw back an opponent when you actually can send them flying back without even touching them. Still, Two-Six is resilient. Though hours have passed with barely any break, she stands ready to take another hit. The experience is very nostalgic to your trooper training days. You sense her tiredness.

“We should end this for the day. I’m exhausted,” You take the blame so she will not have to. She merely gives a thumbs up as she tries to catch her breath. 

“I’ll see you around, Two-Six,” You pat her shoulder. 

“See ya,” She finally is able to breathe. You take her sword and put them up as she leaves the room. You leave right after but you two must go separate ways. You know she is going to seek the Trooper Dorm showers. You on the other hand can enjoy the luxury of your private one. 

As you walk you imagine the warm water soothing your tightened muscles and ridding you of your sweat. It is a nice thing to imagine. You see Kylo joining you in the shower. His large hands rub soap all over you as he massages your muscles. 

You stop your thoughts. You cannot fantasize about Kylo till he comes to you. 

“Sly,” You are called. You see your caller is none other than Lt. Mitaka who quickly approaches you. You suddenly become self-conscious. You probably look a mess and smell awful from your previous physical task. You still give him a smile. 

“Dopheld,” You call him by his first name as he gave you permission to do. At the saying of his name he smiles showing off his dimples. 

“How are you today?” He inquires after you. 

“I am well and you?”

“Very well. I am surprised you are here. I thought you’d be with Commander Ren,” He brings up your master and his abandonment of you. 

“My master thought it would be best for me to train without him today,” You share. 

“Ah. Well, it must be nice to get out from under the bossman’s heel,” he tries to joke. You politely smile as if humored by the statement. But honestly, you’d rather be literally under Kylo’s foot at the moment than alone wondering when he will come to you.

“Yes. I must be going now,” You tilt your head to him. He steps aside and lets you proceed. 

In your room, you see that a droid has left a tray of food in your room. You eat here and there as you remove your clothes and unbraid your hair. Having your fill, you step into your shower. You know you should wash your body and hair. Instead you just stand in the warm water. Your mind focuses on Kylo. 

Kylo…Ben…please, come to me. Forgive me. All I want is to be by your side. I want to be with you. Please, reach out to me, Ben.   
Your heart calls out to him. There is no response of course. 

You know you just have to give him more time like Two-Six said. You perform your regular shower routine and dry off. Going back into your bedroom you debate whether or not to sleep naked or put your dirty dress back on. You frown at the fact you only have this dress which needs to be cleaned. You go to hang it up on your empty closet. 

“What?” You step back when you open your closet. Your eyes run over the different dresses, night gowns, pants and tops there. You have no idea how any of this came or who brought it there. But you smile at your new options. You drop your dirty dress on the floor and run your hands over the clothes in your closet. You pick out a silky black nightgown and put it on. You smile running your hands over the smooth fabric. Then you frown. You wish Kylo could see you in all of them? 

You close the door and go to your bed. You stack up the papers of force knowledge, and put them on your bed next to the empty food tray. You pick up the tray and open your front door. You put it out to be collected by any passing droid. You easily return to your room without being seen. 

You go back to your bed and lie down. You stare at your door. You wait and wait to see if he will come. Every sound that happens in the hall outside your room makes your heart jump in the hope that it is him. It is never him though. Still, you stay awake waiting and waiting and waiting. 

* * *

You wake with a start. You sit up on the bed in the darkness of your room. You look around the room sensing something inside with you. But you cannot see in the darkness. Using the force, you turn on the light. 

“Ah!” You clutch your chest in fright seeing a person standing at the foot of your bed. But you immediately relax see it is the maskless Kylo. 

“You scared me,” You state the obvious. 

“I told you I would come to you,” He does not move from his spot at the foot of the bed. 

“Come sit then,” You pat the bad next to you. He shakes his head rejecting the offer.

“I see you found the clothes I had prepared for you,” He points to your night gown. 

“Yes. Thank you. When did you do all of this?”

“Before and after I went to Pillio yesterday. Did you enjoy your sparring with your friend today?” He asks after Two-Six. 

“Yes. I did. Thank you for arranging it…though I prefer you as my sparring partner.”

The weight of silence is overwhelming in the room as you two just sit looking at each other not sure of what to do next. You decide to end the awkwardness. 

“About this morning… I can understand why you wanted to hide your past from me. It is a painful one but our pasts are what make us who are now. Knowing yours, I can understand you better as I am sure knowing mine makes you understand me more,” You start. Kylo makes no attempt to agree or disagree or even to speak. You get out of the bed and come to Kylo. He turns so he could look down at you properly. With lips pressed together, his eyes lock on your upturn face. 

“Having been in your mind, I feel so much more connected to you than anyone I have ever known. It has cemented a bond I feel with you. I know without a doubt that I want to be with you. I want to be by your side. I want to be completely vulnerable with you. I want no secrets between us. I want to know you more than anyone ever will. I want you to know me more than anyone else could. I want to…not be lonely anymore, Ben.” You are clear and hope your words have not fallen on deaf ears. 

Deep but clear his eyes show no fear or anxiety. His lips part. His voice is soft and smooth like velvet. Very clearly, he gives his response. 

“I want that too.”

You smile and feel your joyful emotions in your eyes. You embrace him. His long, strong arms wrap around you tenderly. You would not call your grip around him the same. You feel him press his lips on the top of your head then whisper your name. You lift your head once more to look at him.

You move your arms up to grab ahold of his neck. You pull him down to kiss him. Why does it feel like you haven’t felt his mouth in years? You unwrap your arms and allow your hands to go to his broad chest. You are quick to unzip his tunic, remove his belt, and push it apart to expose his chest. You move your mouth from his and work your way to his chest. You gently push your lips against his pale smooth chest. Your hands slip down to his pants and easily undoes them. You palm his growing penis and bring your mouth to one of his nipples. You hear his breathing become labored. 

With very little effort you are able to push him back onto the bed. You kiss your way down his stomach as your rub your hand up and down the length of his shaft. Your mouth circles around his tip. You suckle it but lift your eyes toward Ben who watches with lusty eyes and flushed cheeks. 

You release his cock and begin to climb him. You lift up the hems of your night gown showing off your womanhood before grabbing ahold of his cock again. You lower yourself on top of him. You put your hand on his chest as you begin to ride him. He thrusts up his hips and raises your feet for his knees and thighs go up making you fall forward on him. You don’t mind this position as this allows him to thrust more into and lets you kiss his lush lips. His hands slip under your nightgown and grab onto your lower cheeks. You gasp when one of his finger traces around your back hole. Your teeth catch his lower lip when he pushes it inside. 

You pull your teeth form his lip and begins sucking on it apologetically as if this will heal it. You dig your nails into his shoulders though when he adds a second finger into your ass and quickens his thrusts into you. With every hole being stimulated you don’t know how much longer you can last. You close your eyes as you struggle to breathe. He pulls his mouth from yours. 

“Look at me,” He orders. You open your eyes. You keep eye contact and he removes his fingers from your second hole. His hands move to your hips to push them down when he thrusts up into you. 

“Ben-Ben, I’m going to cum,” You gasp. 

“Say it again. Say my name,” He barks speeding up. 

“Ben! Ben! Ben! **BEN**!” You shriek then collapse against his chest as you finish. He groans your name and thrusts through his orgasm. Having filled you, he wraps his arms around you. He holds your close then kisses the top of your head. 

“You’ll stay with me tonight, won’t you?” You look up at him with expectant eyes. He nods. You grin and rest your cheek on his chest. You lay atop him as his personal, happy blanket. 


	25. Another Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers, I am so honored to have received over 400 kudos. I really appreciate them all and the all the comments too! Thank you! I am so sorry for the delayed update. Power outages are so annoying. But here is the next chapter. Please, enjoy!
> 
> [Realized I messed something small open so I edited quick this morning. If you already read this chapter with the mistakes, I'm sorry]

Chapter 25

Waking, you find yourself on your side still in his arms, snuggled against his naked chest. Somehow in the night, Ben managed to remove all of his clothes which is no problem for you. You peak up at his face and find his eyes still closed and face relaxed in his slumber. You should probably let him sleep but it would be more fun to play with him…

You cautiously move your hand from being pressed against his chest to hovering just above his limp member hiding beneath the blanket with the rest of your bodies. Your fingers lightly graze the tender flesh there. It does not take long for you to feel it hardening and growing. The change is slow at first but once you are able to get a delicate hold around his shaft and stroke him leisurely, the soldier stands at attention. You peer up at Ben’s face. His eyes are still closed but his lips begin to part to allow some deep but shaky breaths to escape. You let your other hand go down to join the other. It covers the tip and rubs it in a circular motion. You glance up again but Ben still does not wake. You smile and press your mouth against his chest. You place light kisses against it as your hands continue their work. 

You shift in the bed and slip out of Ben’s arms as your mouth leaves sloppy wet kisses on his torso. Reaching his naval, you kiss it and allow your tongue to go inside. You continue to go under the covers where your hands have still been playing with his painfully hard phallus. 

You drag your tongue down the underside of his cock then turn your mouth to kiss his neglected balls. You are tempted to nibble on them but instead you decide to suck on them. A loud moan erupts from Ben. You would have lifted your head out form beneath the covers but you decide to continue. You move your mouth up to replace your hands. As your take him into your mouth. You let your hands go around to grab ahold of his ass so you have more stability. 

Deliberately, you take him as far as you can into your mouth then pull back sluggishly allowing him to be inside your mouth as long as possible. With his tip almost out of your lips, you have your tongue swirl around it and lap up the salty precum there. You repeat this over and over again earning more moans. Your fingers squeeze his back cheeks gently. You excitedly wait for him to wake up and discover your molestation of him. You know he won’t be displeased. 

You finally hear him say your name. The covers are lifted. You don’t look up but you know he is staring at you. He puts the blanket back down and his hands find your hair. He grips it roughly but does not push your head. 

“Your mouth is almost as tight as your pussy. Fuck,” he groans. Your lips upturn but do not lose their suction. One of your fingers begins tracing down the crack of his ass. You push it between the cheek and barely graze his hole.

“Not there,” He hisses at the attempted intrusion. You remove your finger in respect for his newly established boundary. You let your hand remove to his thick cheek. You aren’t afraid to squeeze there.

Increasing your speed, Ben is breathless. His grip in your hair is so tight you fear he might rip it out root and all. He gives a hard tug and shudders as he fills your mouth and throat with his seed. You release his backside and have him pull out of your mouth so you can swallow. You work yourself back up from the underneath the blanket. You return to be face to face with Ben. You push back some of your hair behind your ear. 

Ben grabs your raised hand and brings your palm to his lips. He kisses your hand then your wrist then forearm then bicep, and then shoulder. His lips go to your collarbone then down to your cleavage. His hands pull up your nightgown. He is the one now to go beneath the blanket. His head goes under your dress. His mouth gives some much-needed attention to your breasts as do his hands.

Ben’s hand pushes your hip making you move form your side to flat on your back. A wet trail forms from your breasts down your stomach. You spread your legs without any nudging or direction. Surely that is where is mouth is headed. You grin and wiggle in excitement. 

Knock. Knock. Ben stops. You lose your smile. Who would be knocking at your door this early in the morning? 

When there is no sound, you feel Ben’s breath on your thighs. You prepare for the rapture of his mouth on your cunt. 

Knock. Knock. Knock. 

Ben pulls away again. 

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Ben lifts the blanket. 

“Go see who it is,” He nods toward the door. You frown but get out of the bed. Ben covers himself up with the blanket. You smooth out your nightgown as you approach the door. You take a breath before opening the door. 

“Two-Six? What are you doing here?” Your friend’s sudden appearance makes you cock your head to the side. 

“Everyone is searching for Commander Ren. Some aids were sent to his quarters his morning with urgent news and he wasn’t there. We troopers have been sent to find him. I assumed I’d find him here. I am correct, aren’t I?” She points to his discarded clothes on the floor near your bed. You blush. 

“Who needs him?” You speak softly. 

“General Hux,” Two-Six answers in a hushed tone as well. 

“I’ll contact him,” You step back inside. The door closes. You walk to your bed and pull the blanket off Ben. He sits up immediately. 

“General Hux needs you,” You inform him. He rolls his eyes and groans. He manipulates the force so his clothes fly to him. He dresses quickly but obviously annoyed. You step into the bathroom for a moment as he dresses and rinse your mouth with mouthwash then return to your room just as he goes to grab his gloves and helmet from your desk. As he pulls on his gloves, you hold his helmet. You hand it to his empty and ready hands. 

“Ben,” You whisper his name before he can put on his mask. 

“Yes?”

You lift and bend your index finger indicating that he needs to come closer to you. He leans down. With him closer you kiss him on his lips quickly then pull away with a smile. He has a little grin comes to his face but he quickly hides with his mask. 

“Get dressed. I’ll come get you for training after I find out what Hux wants,” He gives his orders. 

“Yes, sir.” You nod accepting it. He leaves your room. You go back to your bed and flop down. You wish Ben could have finished what he was about to start but you have to accept that he does have a job to do. Still you want to pout for a few minutes. 

You roll off the bed and wash off your body form last night’s intimacy. You perform your morning routine before you braid your hair and spin your braids into buns atop your head. You go to your closet and try to pick something fitting for training. You select a pair of black pants and a high collar, long sleeved crop top. This way all of the marks left on your body from sex are covered but you still get to show off some skin to your man. You pull on your boots just int time to hear a knock at the door. You jump up excited. 

“What took you so long, Master?” You tease the tall hooded man with his mask still on. 

“Come, Sly,” he does not give a response but holds out his hand. You feel your cape come and cover you. You tie it on as Kylo turns to lead you away.

You are barely able to keep yourself from beaming down the halls. How could you not be happy at getting to walk down the hall at the side of the man you adore? 

“What did General Hux want with you, Master?” You ask as you approach the door that will allow you two the freedom of the wilderness. 

“He and I will be going on a mission soon. He wanted to discuss the details of the mission,” He answers you and opens the door. You two step out allowing the door to slam shut behind you. 

“Oh? Where are we going?” You ask.

“We are not going anywhere. Hux and I are going,” He corrects. 

“You aren’t going to take me?” You stop. He does not. 

“No.”

You quickly catch up to him. 

“Why not?”

“I have other plans for you. You don’t need to come this time,” his response does not please you. 

“What sort of plans do you have for me?” You don’t give up on your questioning. 

“Training. You’ll spar with FN-1226 and practice meditating,” He doesn’t even look at you. 

“As much as I like getting to spend time with Two-Six, I’d rather go with you. You are my Master. You should be supervising my training personally,” You play the student card. 

“Sometimes our greatest growth happens when we are alone,” Kylo retorts and stops in the same clearing you two did days ago.

“I don’t want to be alone,” You put your hand on his arm. 

“You act as if I am going to be gone for years. It will just be for a day,” He puts his hand atop yours. 

“I want to go with you. Just take me with you. I won’t get in your way,” You plead. 

“No.”

“Please,” You do not relent and grip his arm tighter.

“No.” he removes himself from your hold. 

“Master…” You bat your eyes at him. He gives no inclination that he has changed his mind. You sigh. Neither of you speak but your disappointment is evident. 

“I’ll make you a deal,” He speaks giving you hope. 

“What sort of deal?” You grin. 

“If you beat me in combat today, I’ll take you with me and Hux,” he sets the stakes. 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay,” You untie your cloak and let It fall to the ground. You begin to stretch as you don’t want to pull anything. He does not do the same. Instead he just watches you.

“Ready?” You check. 

“Whenever you are, Sweetheart.” 

You smile. He makes no motion to summon sticks or to remove his lightsaber. He just stands ready for you to attack. At this close distance you decide you can make the first move. 

You send up a high kick which he blocks with his wrist before sending up a kick toward you. You block it as well. As his leg comes down, he throws a punch. You duck and hit him in the stomach before sending your other fist to hit him in the face. Making contact with his mask is rather painful to your hand. You know better than to aim there again.   
You kick at his ribs then shoulder which he blocks before spinning and kicking up you other leg. He backs up avoiding the hit. You lunge at him but he kicks you in the side sending you back. You take a breath before raising up your fists again. 

You punch at him twice as you slide your leg to knock him over. He blocks your fists and lifts his leg causing you to spin around. He kicks you in the back causing you to fall to the ground face first. 

You spit out the snow that got in your mouth as you jump back up to your feet. You know doing direct hand-to-hand combat with him may be too difficult given the difference in size and strength. You know you should use something else against him. It would be good no to practice the force. You realize this probably what he wants you to do.   
You let your eyes move about. You see a few large rocks near you. You take a breath then begin throwing your arms. The rocks fly toward Kylo. He waves his hands and deflects them with his own force manipulation and dodges the ones he does not. As he avoids being hit, you are able to beckon a sturdy stick to come be your weapon. You approach your opponent readily. 

You swing your stick at his chest but bends avoiding the blow. You raise it up to strike him but he catches your wrist. He pushes you back against a tree knocking some air out of you. You bring up your other hand and punch him in the throat. He backs up from the impact. You know you didn’t do any real damage or he’d be on the ground struggling to breathe. 

You whip the stick toward his head which he avoids by bending over then aim for his legs. He jumps it and upon landing he goes low and spins taking out your legs with his outstretched one. He pounces on you as you lie on the ground. You try to hit him with your stick but he grabs hold of it and rips it from your grip. 

You cross your ankles and thrust them up catching his neck between them. You squeeze tightly. He brings his hands to your ankles in attempt to pry them apart but you keep your hold. He grabs your hips and pulls up from the ground. He spins around making you lose your grip. You fly away and land facedown in the snow once more. 

As you push up you send the large stones near you to attack Kylo who tries to approach you. You feel some long and sharp on the ground near you. You pick up and find it to be a long rock with a sharp end. You decide to use it as your new weapon. You get up and turn around just as Kylo reaches you. 

You start being going low but his wrist stops your wrist. You go high but he blocks again. You do manage to kick him in the leg making him kneel therefore giving you a height advantage. You aim your weapon downward toward his helmet. His leather covered hands catch your wrist and throw it down as he regains his full height. You wave your weaponless arm about attempting to hit him multiple times. He hands catch you wave hand. With hands occupied, you bring up your sharp stone and drag it down his chest cutting the material of his out covering. He looks down at your action as do you. You smirk.

Kylo tightens his hold on your wrist and throws you over his shoulder. You stumble trying and slide till you hit a tree. Kylo calls the stick you used earlier to his aid as he advances toward you. You turn to be ready for him. You raise your stone and swipe at him. He dodges and swings the stick. You yelp when it makes hard contact with the side of your bottom. You step back before attempting a roundhouse kick to his face. He moves just in time to get behind you. He hits your bottom again. 

You throw your stone at him which he swats away with the stick. You hold out your hand and smile when you feel a new stick in it.   
The wood clash against each other as you both attack and parry. But more often than not, Kylo ends up in a more advantageous position and strikes your backside. Each time makes your blood boil to a new degree. You even try to have more stones sly at him as you fight but they are never able to land on him. He even manages to move just in time for it to hit your ass making you scowl. You yell as you give one more effort to hit him.

CRACK! 

Your stick breaks against his. You drop your now useless weapon. You back up at he steps closer. You shoot yourself into his stomach like a torpedo. You both fall to the ground. Kylo drops the stick. He rolls you over so you are the one pressed to the ground. But you use some of the momentum in the rolling process to roll him over as well so you are on top. You straddle his chest and squeeze your knees together at his ribs. You press his shoulders down. He grabs your wrists and pushes you over. 

Pinned beneath him you struggle. He is just too strong. You won’t give up. You must win then he will take you with him. You notice a large boulder behind Kylo. 

“I definitely prefer you under me like this,” He remarks making you blush. You begin to relax in his hold. You spread your legs giving his hips access to go between them. You lift up your hips to lightly dry hump at him. You bend your toes in your boots. The boulder begins to levitate. 

“Yeah? What else do you prefer me to do?” You playfully ask. He leans down so his mouth piece is at your ear. 

“I prefer it when you beg for my big cock and when you cry that you’re all mine,” He gives away his preferences. Your curling toes signal the boulder closer. 

“Well, I am all yours and I do want your big cock. I’ve wanted since I woke up this morning.”  
You feel him hardening in his pants. He returns his head to its position above yours. He still has not released your wrists from his hold. The boulder now looms near his head. 

“You do you know what I also really want?” You ask.

“What?”

“To win,” You smile and allow the large rock to fall. A shout of pain escaped Kylo as he falls over from the impact of the rock. Free, you get up and grab the stick. You point it at Kylo who lays on his back. 

“I win, Master. So, you must take me with you,” You declare your victory. Kylo does not speak. He does not even move. 

“Master?” You poke with the stick.

He does not move. 

“Kylo?” You tap at his foot with yours. 

No movement. 

You stare at him. You don’t even see his chest moving. Did the boulder break his helmet and his head? Did you kill him?  
You throw down the stick and kneel next to him. You put your hand on his chest. 

“Ben?”

Kylo’s hand grasps the back of your neck and pushes you face down onto the cape you discarded earlier. You turn your face so you can breathe and look back at your master. Relief and comfort in knowing you did not kill him are brief as you are now pinned down by an angered Kylo Ren.

“That was very clever,” He seethes. 

“Thank you.”

“But I still win.”

You sigh and nod in acceptance that he has bested you again. You try to push up as the fight is over. 

“We’re not done,” He pushes you back down. 

“Oh?” 

“I told you to get less than ten marks on your ass,” You feel his other hand move to the waistband of your pants. He yanks them down till they are midthigh. You shiver as the coldness against your exposed skin. The smooth leather of his glove rubs over your cheeks. He harshly presses on the marks he left there with his stick and that one rock.

“Eleven. That’s not good,” He keeps his finger against the eleventh mark. You whimper at the painful pressure. 

“Since the rock hit was more self-inflicted couldn’t we just agree that you only landed ten hits?” You try to get out of the failure. 

“No. It’s eleven. You failed.”

You frown at his decision. 

“But your distraction and boulder move was…clever,” He struggles with the last word. You regain a small look of pleasure. 

“It was, wasn’t it?”

“But you fell for my trick,” He reminds you.

“Yes…”

“So now you are not going with me,” he reminds you of the deal then continues to make you lose your sliver of self confidence, “Your double failure today is disappointing.” 

“I’m sorry, Master. I’ll do better next time.”

“You were supposed to better this time.” He shakes his head. 

“Mas-”

“I don’t want to hear excuses. You must be punished for your failure,” His thumb drags just to the side of where your bottom divides then centers itself as it comes closer to your womanhood. You wiggle slightly in expectation. 

“If you think that will be best,” You play contrite. He rubs his thumb over your labia. You start to spread your legs to give him easier access. Both of his hands move back to your bottom. They spread your cheeks exposing your most secretive hole. One hand leaves while the other keeps at least one of your cheeks spread. You gulp unsure of what his plan is. Is he going to eat your ass again?

“Ah!” You squeak as you feel the icy snow filling your crack. His freezing leather finger pushes it inside your hole where it quickly melts. You writhe uncomfortably.   
Effortlessly, he produces his cock from his pants. You feel the tip at your snowy ass. He rubs it against you. You squirm and try to clench your cheeks to keep him from pushing his huge self in there. His hands keep you spread though.

“Wait!” You cry out before he can push inside. Your heart pounds. It won’t fit or at least not without great pain. You can barely handle his finger. 

“What?”

“Please, don’t. Not there. Fingers are okay and your mouth but I can’t take your cock there. It’s too big. Please, don’t put it in there,” You can’t look at him as you try to deny him access to this one spot. He doesn’t speak or move for a minute. 

“Alright,” He agrees to you new boundary and removes his hands from your cheeks. He leans back as to reposition himself. 

You sigh in relief only to yip when you feel a hard hit across your ass. You look back and see his lightsaber in hand. He hits you again with the hilt of his lightsaber. You cry out in true pain as he assaults your backside nine more times with the base his saber, leaving your cheeks bright red. 

Kylo tosses his lightsaber away. He rubs one hand over your sore ass. His other goes to wipe away the tears on the cheek turned up toward his view before he places his hand on your bottom with the other one.

“You will do better next time,” He tells you. 

“Yes, sir,” You whimper still in pain. 

“Now, I’m going to pay you back form this morning.”

Lays himself on you. He stretches his body out so his body covers every inch of yours. With most of his weight on you, you cannot help finding him heavy. His hands hold onto the back of yours, his legs spread then cover yours. His chest presses against your back as his mask presses against your turned cheek. He finally pushes his length inside your open cunt. He rotates his hips which allows him to stay inside you and stir your insides before he pulls back and does it again. His movements are slow but deep. 

“Kylo. Ben,” you alternate the names as you moan.

“Agh. Your pussy is so tight. It’s sucking me in like a blackhole,” He murmurs into your ear. Even though his voice is filtered by his mask, it is no less sexy.

“Its so hard to keep from fucking you every moment of everyday. I want to fucking in live in your cunt,” He speaks unabashedly.

“You can. I want you inside me always. I want your big cock filling me up every second of my life,” You give him permission. His speed begins to increase. A hand leaves yours feels its way down to the crest of your labia. As he teases your pearl, you find it a little harder to breathe. The all too familiar but welcome pressure builds so quickly. Kylo increases his speed. 

“You feel it, don’t you? You’re going to cum,” He knows your body. 

“Yes…I’m going to…You’re going to make me-” You close your eyes in hopes of holding on longer. 

“Go ahead. Cum. Cum for me,” He encourages thrusting a bit harder. You clutch the cloak you lay on as if it will help you through this. 

“I-I-”You can’t finish your thought or sentence. Your brain has gone fuzzy from your climax. Still you are able to register the hot semen filling you.

Kylo grabs you by the shoulder and turns you onto your back. You take deeper breaths now that he is off you. You feel his hands drag across your body before gripping your pants. He pulls them down to your ankles which he lifts up. He goes under lowers them on either side of him. You watch confused as he takes off his mask. He sets it beside your hip. He pushes down your thighs exposing your cum filled pussy. He begins to lower his head. 

“What are you-” His lips on your clit stops your question. His fingers replace his lips as his tongue goes lower. It delves in and begins to collect the mixture of his seed and your juice. If it didn’t feel so good you would protest him doing something you’d think so dirty. 

“Ben!”

As your clit is pinched and his tongue paints your insides, you grip at his hair. He has two of his other fingers join his tongue inside you. You gasp his name and plead for more as you feel your lower abdomen twist delightfully. 

You see stars and nearly tear out his hair as your second orgasm hits. He laps up the new flood of your ecstasy. He removes his mouth and fingers from you. He licks his gloves clean as he sits up. Yu see your juices glistening around his mouth and down his chin. You can see some remnants of his cum on him as well. You sit up despite your ass being sore. You take his face in your hands. You lick away the fluids from his face before going to kiss his mouth. His hands cradle your skull and hold you in place as your tongue decide to play with each other. 

The taste of his salty cum mixed with yourself is strange. Yet, it tastes just right. He pushes you back down. His re-erect member slips inside you. His mouth leaves yours as he practically jackhammers your pussy. Having come already it doesn’t take you long to reach your third orgasm. Kylo spills himself inside you once more. You are more than satisfied.

Kylo lifts your legs to free him from being trapped by your pants and legs. He tucks himself away and grabs his helmet. He puts it on as he stands up. His lightsaber practically jumps into his hand only to be hooked to Kylo’s belt. You get up as well and pull up you pants. As you do you hear something rustle nearby. You turn quickly. You see something white hide behind a tree. 

“We should get back to base,” Kylo points toward the way the base is. You nod and bend down to get our cloak. You pick up but look back at the tree. Your eyes grow wide seeing an all too familiar face disappear behind the tree.

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asks. 

“Nothing. Let’s just get back to base,” You tie on your cape and start making steps. Kylo comes and quickly passes you. You look back and see the hidden person peering out again. You pale as you think to yourself.

Why did it have to be you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it took me forever to post I hope you all enjoyed the extra smut. :)
> 
> (LadyBurberry, thank you for your wonderful suggestions. I hope this chapter showed I really did appreciate them. :))


	26. Mind Tricks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you so much for the kudos and comments! I'm so pleased to see the many positive comments especially the ones that express the enjoyment of the plot. This story was originally just intended to be a smut-fest but it has developed into more. I hope none of you are disappointed by that.  
> Anyway, that's enough of my notes. Please, enjoy this chapter. :)

Chapter 26 

Of all the people on Starkiller Base to catch you and Kylo fucking it just had to be KC-1886. Why did it have to be biggest mouth on base? Everyone will know before the day is done about you two. Kylo would not like that. You have to figure out a way to make sure she doesn’t talk. Killing her would be the easy solution…but that is a bit extreme. Maybe you could just talk to her?

“Master,” You call him by his title as you stop. He stops as well.

“What?”

“I think I dropped something back there. Go on without me and I’ll meet you at the base,” You point back toward where you two had come. 

“Meet me in my quarters,” He gives the destination then walks away leaving you. You rush back to the clearing in search for the peeping Tom. As you come closer you see KC-1886 duck behind another tree when she sees you. 

“Come out, Eight-Six,” You call to her. 

“Oh, hey!” She comes waving and with a friendly tone as if she were seeing you in the shower room. “What are you doing out here?”

“I was training. What are you doing out here?” You inquire after her own purpose. 

“Oh, Captain Phasma sent me out here to check some perimeter stuff. You know just a monthly check up that there aren’t any changes to the planet,” She answers casually as she comes closer to you. 

“Ah. I see,” You remember having down that yourself before. 

“Yeah. So, I’m going to go back to base and tell Captain Phasma that everything out here is doing good,” KC-1886 starts to move as to pass you. 

“Wait a minute, Eight-Six,” You touch her arm. 

“What is it, Seven-One-I mean Sly?” 

“Could you tell me what you saw out here?” 

“What I saw? Oh, nothing just the usual plants and trees and snow. Nothing out of the ordinary,” She reports but the nervous laughter that follows gives away more. 

“I need to know what you saw, Eight-Six,” You squeeze her arm lightly. You hear her swallow. 

“Well…I did see Commander Ren and you…training,” She puts up her fingers in to make air quotes when she said “training”.

“How much did you see?”

“Um…well, I saw about…three rounds I guess. I didn’t mean to watch. But at first, I thought he was raping you so I was going to go get help but then you were telling him how much you wanted him so I knew you weren’t being assaulted,” She answers. 

“So, you just stood and watched us?” You are slightly grossed out. 

“Uh, I-uh-”

“It doesn’t matter. I just need to know that you won’t go around telling anyone what you saw Commander Ren and I doing,” you get back to the purpose of the confrontation. 

“Of course not. My lips are sealed,” She responds. 

“Like they were about me finding Lt. Mitaka attractive?” You recall the past betrayal of confidence. KC-1886 stands still and silent. You can hear the anxiety in her breathing. You want to know what she is thinking. You focus on her.

_How can I keep this a secret? Seven-One practically fucked her way up the ladder and with Commander Ren. I bet she started with Lt. Mitaka then worked her way up to Commander Ren. This is the juiciest information I have ever had._ You hear her thoughts loud and clear. You grip her arm tightly. 

“KC-1886,” You growl her name. 

“Yes?”

You must make her forget what she knows. You cannot let another start and besmirch your and Kylo’s reputations. You smile to yourself when you remember one of the fun force passages Kylo wrote about. 

“You saw no one in the Forest,” You speak commandingly as you wave your hand in front of her helmet. 

“I saw no one in the Forest,” She repeats monotoned 

“The planet is secure and that is all,” You state waving your hand again.

“The planet is secure and that is all.” She repeats. 

“You are going back to base now and will not speak a word about Commander Ren or Sly again,” You give one final move.

“I am going back to base now and will not speak a word about Commander Ren or Sly again,” She stays in her daze. You let her go and she walks off toward the base. You smile. Your mind trick worked. You must tell your master. He will be pleased. 

You wait a few minutes before walking back to base. You follow the orders previously given to you and go straight to Kylo’s quarters. You knock once before the door opens.

Walking in, you see Kylo has pulled his desk out from being against the wall. He has set his desk chair on one side of the desk and has brought the chair from the Vader chamber to be sat on the other side. On the desk are two bowls of stew and two cups of tea. But you do not see Kylo anywhere in the room. 

“Master?” You call out. He walks out of the bathroom dressed in the bare minimum of his traditional outfit. He comes and takes a seat at the end closes to him. 

“Let’s eat,” He gestures to the chair across from him. You take off your cape and lay across the back of the chair before taking the seat. You wince as your sore bottom meets the chair. 

“Did you find what you left?” He asks before he takes a spoonful of his stew. 

“Mhm,” You take a sip of the tea. You savor the taste of the Gatalentan tea as well as its warmth. 

“What did you leave?” He grabs his own tea. 

“Well…don’t be mad but I didn’t actually leave anything. I left a person behind…” You tuck a stray baby hair back behind your ear. 

“What? Who?” He slams his cup down. 

“Now, there is no need to get upset,” You hold up your hands as if this would calm him. 

“Its too late. I’m upset! I don’t want that pervert telling everyone at the base about us,” He stands starts around the table to hunt down the onlooker. You stand up and put your hands against his chest to serve as a blockade. 

“I took care of the problem! I used one of those mind tricks you wrote about. No one will know.”

“You used a mind trick?” His attention shifts. 

“Yes, and it worked!” Your chest swells in pride. 

“You’re sure it worked?”

“Yes. So now no one will know,” You assure him. He steps back and returns to his seat. 

“Who was it?”

“I prefer not to say,” You move to your own seat. 

“I thought you wanted to be open and honest,” He reminds you. 

“I do, but I don’t want you to hunt down this person and kill them.”

He runs his hand through his hair as he sighs. 

“You’re absolutely sure no one will find out?”

“Yes.” You nod again. 

“If it does you will tell me who it was,” He points and sets the responsibility on you. 

“I will,” You agree. You both return to eating your meals. But as you chew and swallow the bits of meat in the stew your mind plagues you as to why he is so adamant about keeping your relationship a secret. 

“Ben.”

“Hm?” His mouth is full. 

“Why…why do we have to keep our relationship a secret?”

Ben pauses then swallows his food. He wipes his mouth with the back of his index finger.

“Do you want people to know?” He gives his question.

“I’m not sure... I’m not ashamed of you or anything like that. But I know if it did get out most people would think I’m some whore who fucked her way up the ladder or something like that. But also, if we were public then everyone would know that I’m yours and we wouldn’t have to hide our affections,” You give the pros and cons.

“Having people know will only lead to them trying to use us against each other for their own gain. My enemies would try to hurt you to hurt me. And like you said, your reputation would only worsen. Mine would as well,” He keeps with the cons. You just nod in agreement. You don’t know what else could be said in favor of revealing the relationship. 

“So, how long do we keep this a secret? I mean right now it is easier since we’ve just begun but how long should we wait? A month? A year? Ten years?” You spit out random timelines. 

“You think we’ll be together in ten years?” His eyebrows shoot up. You blush at his apparent surprise. You begin to rub your hands over each other in your lap and struggle to keep eye contact with his deep, brown eyes.

“I…um…given previous statements like how you only ever want to fuck me, I thought you would want to be together for like…you know…ever…So ten years would be a part of that. Or are you not interested in a long-term relationship?”

Ben’s eyes are wide at the rather serious inquiry. His jaw is clenched and you can see his body is rigid. You want to kick yourself for asking such a thing. You should not have asked anything about your relationship’s future. You should have just kept your mouth shut.

“I have no intention of ending this relationship in the foreseeable future,” He answers finally. Relief washes over you. Your lips spread as you are pleased and ease. 

“But I want to keep _this_ between us till I think you’re strong enough to take on **_all_ **threats. Then I will make sure everyone knows about us.”

“I understand. I will work hard to prove I am capable,” You promise. 

“You are doing well so far. You are excelling in your force wielding and your combat. But there are few things you need to work on,” He returns to his Master-mode. 

“Oh? Like what?”

Your teacher proceeds to give a lecture on certain areas of your weakness in your combat. He is sure to throw in a few compliments here and there so you don’t feel like you are being scolded. You take your empty dishes and place them outside the door for a droid to take as Ben puts the desk and chairs back in their proper places. Ben sits in the chair at the desk. You walk to him only for him to pull you to sit on his lap. You drape your arms around his broad shoulders and his hands rest on the small of your back and your upper thigh.

“After I return from my mission, we will need to see about you having a lightsaber,” Ben mentions the very desirable weapon. 

“A lightsaber! Where would we buy it?” You ask. He laughs. 

“You don’t buy lightsabers. You will need to make it but only after you get a kyber crystal,” He gives the steps in reverse. 

“I guess I don’t buy a kyber crystal then.

“No. We will have to go to a planet that has them. This place used to but they’ve been lost since this became Starkiller base. We will need to go somewhere else like Dantooine or Christophsis,” He begins to think of planets. 

“A little get away would be fun,” You grin. 

“It isn’t an easy,” He grows serious again, “People used to die trying to get a crystal. You will have to use the force to help find one.”

“You’ll help me too, right?” 

“I will take you but you must find it on your own. It is sort of a rite of passage.”

“I see. So o I get to the pick the color of the crystal?”

“No. They’re clear. They change to once it is bonded to you.”

“I know yours was blue but then you made it red. How did you change it?” You recall his memories of him fighting that girl with a blue lightsaber. 

“I bled it,” He answers. You raise an eyebrow confused. How could you bleed a crystal?

“As you are bonded to the crystal, you teach it your pain, rage, hate, and anger. You use the dark side of the force to make the crystal ‘bleed’. It will change it,” He elucidates. 

“Will I need to bleed my crystal?”

“It is up to you. Just as the design of your saber is up to you. I saw your drawing of the one you’d like,” He mentions the picture you drew. You thought you could buy one to fit it but now you know you must build it yourself. You are not exactly confident in your welding and building skill. Surely, Ben will show you to do it. 

“Once you have one, we will be able to train more vigorously. Then maybe then you won’t have your poor ass beaten,” He slides his hand over your still sore backside. You put your hand on his.

“Don’t pretend that you don’t like spanking me. I think it’s your favorite thing to do beside fucking me,” You are sure to point out what you’ve learned. 

“It’s not…but I do enjoy it,” He admits with a smirk.

“What is your favorite thing then besides fucking?”

Ben brings his lips to your ear. They brush against your lobe.

“That’s none of your business,” He whispers. You turn your head so your noses brush each other. 

“Tell me,” You drag your thumb over his jaw before taking his chin between your index finger and thumb. 

“Make me,” He pulls your hand down from his face. You purse your lips and lean back from him. You lift your hand. 

“You will tell me your favorite thing besides fucking,” You wave your hand like you did earlier with KC-1886.

“Are you trying to do a mind trick on me?” He chuckles. 

“You will tell me your favorite thing besides fucking,” You repeat in a more commanding tone ad wave your hand again. Ben laughs. 

“That’s not going to work on me, sweetheart.”

“You will tell me your favorite thing besides fucking,” You do it all one more time. He grabs your wrist and brings your palm to his lips. He kisses it. 

“Don’t distract me, Master. I will get you to tell me,” You pull your hand away. He snorts and sits back. He cannot keep his lips from curling up as you repeatedly try to trick his mind into giving away his little secret. 

“I’m telling you, it’s not going to work on me,” He shakes his head again. 

“You will tell me!” You say once more with great effort. 

“I will tell you,” His voice is monotone. His face loses all expression. His eyes are completely focused on you. You beam. It has worked. 

“Tell me then,” You wave your hand. 

“My favorite thing besides fucking is…” He pauses. Then gains his amused grin back. “Got you.”

“Dammit,” You scowl displeased and cross your arms frustrated with the lack of your success. Ben laughs. Though he is laughing at you, you do like the sound of it. You let yours arms uncross. 

“I like your laugh, Ben,” You inform him as he begins to stop, “You look very…cute when you laugh. 

“Cute?” He repeats the word with furrowed brows. 

“Yes, very cute,” You put your hand on his cheek. 

“I’m not cute,” he refutes the word. 

“Yes, you are,” You insist and pinch his cheek to tease him. He glowers at you as he grabs your hand. You have definitely struck a nerve. 

“You’re my cute master,” You gives his cheek a kiss. He rolls his eyes but accepts the affection. 

“You should leave,” He makes you frown. 

“Why?”

“I have another meeting with Hux and I need to get ready for my mission tomorrow. I can’t do that with you around.”

“I won’t distract you,” You claim. 

“You will. So, you need to go,” He removes his hands from you. 

“Will I see you before you leave?” You grip his shirt. 

“No. I have too much to do.”

You exhale and look down disappointed and displeased. You get off his lap. “Okay…”

“I will come to you when I return,” He assures you as he stands up as well. You lift up your head. 

“Be safe and return to me quickly then,” You give your order. 

“I will. Make sure you spar and meditate like I told you to,” he reminds you. 

“I will.” 

You start for the door with him behind you. You don’t want to leave him but you know you must. You turn around

“Ben.”

“Hm?”

You get on your tiptoes and wrap your arms around his neck thus pulling him down. You plant a kiss on his lips. You feel his arms go around your waist. He holds you close as you two kiss. You finally pull away from him. 

“I’ll miss you.”  
He kisses you quickly and expresses the same sentiment. He lets you go and you look back at him longingly as you walk through his door. You keep your eyes on him until the door closes. You take a breath and head on to your room. 


	27. Unfortunate News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thank you for the kudos and comments! I appreciate them greatly. Please, enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 27

The face of the water is still creating a perfect mirror to the clear sky above. The bird flying in the sky can easily find its identical match flying below on the water. You float in the water but you do not make it ripple or move. You can feel the force flowing in your body as if it were you own blood. It moves with each slow pump of your heart. You begin to wave your arms in the water. It only moves with your arms. Though you are in water you cannot feel it. Really all you feel is air. It is peaceful. The stillness is relaxing after a day of sparring with Two-Six. 

Is this what Ben sees when he meditates? You wonder. It is hard to imagine him floating in the calm water just chilling. He never really seems to be at peace except when he sleeps and even then, he has trouble. 

“He did say peace is a lie. Maybe it is for him. But maybe once he kills Skywalker he can have some peace. Though he might not have it till he can get some closure with his parents…” You muse to yourself. 

“I wonder how to find his parents. I mean Han Solo is galaxy traveling smuggler so he could be anywhere. His mother from what I could see works in a diplomatic area though I don’t who she is except the sister of Luke Skywalker. So, who knows where she is either? Still, I think it would do Be good to see them in person.”

You think on the couple you saw in Ben’s memories. You try to think on the planets you saw them on but you fail to recognize them. You sigh. 

“I supposed I can do more research later when Ben is back. But he won’t like me prying too much. Maybe I can get it out of him when we do that mind searching stuff. That would be a good cover. Then again, I might fail to penetrate his mind. But if I keep working with the force then maybe I can get in his mind again. That would be good.”

A muffled voice grabs your attention. You sit in the water and look around but see no one. Still you hear the voices though you cannot hear what they say. You stand, your feet stay atop the water. You walk toward the sound. The noise is louder though still undistinguishable. You look down at your feet as the sound is coming beneath you. The water no longer reflects the sky but shows a different place. Your once firm footing is gone and you fall beneath the water. 

You do not drown or even find yourself in water anymore. You are in a ship. You smile seeing Kylo. He stands behind the pilot. Hux is there. You soon find that this not a typical flying situation. The pilot is sweating and swearing. He struggles to control the ship with blaring alarms sounding. 

Hux clings to the chair near Kylo who stays firm in his stance. You feel the ship shaking and falling. You smell smoke. That is when you notice gray clouds starting to fill the room. You look out the window and see the planet approaching at an alarming speed. It is all too fast and too close. You feel your stomach drop. You can sense the fear in the ship. You reach toward Kylo. Your fingers graze the thick material of his cloak. 

“Ben!” You scream as you feel the impact of the ship crashing into the planet. You fall and gasp for air. You open your eyes and you are in your bedroom. Your body is drenched sweat.

In your panic you want to jump off the bed. Alas, your body does not move. Your skin is like molasses sticking you to your sheets, preventing you from any large movement. Every muscle in your body is weak and your bones ache. You do not understand the affect on your body. Had it come from touching him though he is lightyears away?

You don’t care much about the state your body is in. You only care to know if what you saw is his current true fate. Has he crashed? Is he dead?

“No.” You shake your head. He isn’t dead. He can’t be. You’ve seen his future. There is still so much for him to do and say.

You know what you must do. Sheer willpower enables to you to roll off your bed. You grimace hitting the floor. Your body is on fire. It is as if lava has replaced you blood. Still you outstretch your arms and begin to drag yourself across the floor. 

You wave your hand the force gets the door to open. You begin to set out in the hall. You claw the cold floor though it does not give you much grip. Slowly, you trudge down the hallway. Your vision begins to blur and darken. It is hard to breathe. 

You can’t stop. You must reach Captain Phasma. She will be able to locate Kylo’s ship. If they have crashed, she will be able send a rescue squad. 

“Sly!” You do not turn though your name is called. You feel and arm go around your waist and set of shoulders go under your arm to lift you upright and give you support. You turn your head and see Lt. Mitaka. 

“Dopheld?” You register your new helper. 

“Are you ill?” He asks holding you up. 

“I need to talk to Captain Phasma,” You try to keep moving. He takes on your weight and help move you down the hallway. 

“You need to get medical bay. Your nose is bleeding fiercely and you can’t even walk.”

You had not notice till now that something warm and wet is running down on to your lips. 

“I need Captain Phasma,” You insist. Your knees buckle beneath you. Mitaka is barely able to get you lowered onto the floor. 

“Get me some medics now!” Lt. Mitaka barks at a set of passing troopers. 

“Yes, sir!” They nod and run off. 

“Dopheld,” You can no longer see him but you feel his arm. 

“What is it, Sly?”

“Phasma. She must find them,” you find it hard to speak.

“Find who?”

“Ren. Hux. Their ship. It’s…crashed,” You heave. 

“You think their ship has crashed?”

“Yes. She must find them. Save them. Save…” You cannot finish as your head begins to swim. 

* * *

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

You open your eyes slowly. Everything is blurring so you blink a few more times. You feel no pain. In fact you feel nothing. You look around the bright white room holding the bed in which you lie. An air mask is over your nose and mouth. Tubes and wires are hooked up to your body and machines. You know exactly where you are - good old medical bay. 

“You’re awake!” an excited Lt. Mitaka jumps up from the chair next to your bed. The unexpected movement from the person you were unaware of startles you.

“Lieutenant,” You find your voice hoarse. 

“I will get the doctor,” He starts to go. 

“Wait,” Your finger manages to catch his sleeve. He turns back to you. 

“Yes?”

“Did you-did you tell Captain Phasma?” You must know. 

“Yes. I informed her. You were right, their ship has crashed. We are still struggling to get a location on them.”

You feel tears welling in your eyes. But you refuse to let them spill. 

“I will go get the doctor,” He leaves you. You take deep breaths and close your eyes. You cannot believe his ship really crashed. He must have survived. He must have!

You try to sit up but your arms fail you. Your legs are no better. You are barely able to move them. Why is your body so weak?

“Sly, that is your new name, right?” The doctor comes to your room. Lt. Mitaka stays outside of the room allowing you some privacy. You recognize the tall women with lush red hair and bright red eyes. She treated your injuries the last time you were in medical bay.

“Yes, Dr. Ryza,” You address her.

“I am surprised you are awake. Honestly, I’m surprised you’re even alive,” She comes and takes the seat Lt. Mitaka had sat in earlier. 

“What-what happened to me?”

“I don’t know. Your organs were spontaneously shutting down. I really cannot explain it. Could you tell me what you were doing before Lt. Mitaka brought you here?”

“I…I sparred with FN-1226 then I was just…meditating in my room,” You recall. 

“Was your sparring rather violent? Were there any traumatic blows?”

“No. No more than usual trooper battle sparring,” You would shake your head but the effort proves painful. 

Dr. Ryza frowns at the lack of reasons for your condition. You sense her disappointment. 

“As of now you are stable in your vitals and your organ are functioning properly. But we found that many of your muscles have been strained as well as if you have stretched out each muscle individually till they almost snapped. That is why you may still be in pain. If you are, we can up your dosage of medicine.” She gives more detail.

“I do have some pain,” You inform her.

“I will have your medicine upped.”

“Thank you.”

Dr. Ryza sits still but keeps looking at you. She looks as if she wants to say something else but hesitates. 

“Is there something else, Doctor?” You ask. 

“I did notice a lot of bruising, bite marks and light scarring on your body. The way they are formed and where they are located indicate they were made during a rather…violent and sexual way,” she reaches out her hand to gently touch yours. “Have you been assaulted in anyway. You can trust me with this information. I can make sure that the proper authorities are notified.”

You smile at the earnest offer.

“Do not fear, Doctor. I have consented to the actions that led to such markings. I trust you will keep such information private though,” You remind her of the confidentiality agreement between doctors and patients. 

“Of course. But I do suggest that if your partner is going to be so rough that you treat yourself with Bacta ointment,” She recommends. 

“Oh, yes. I have some that I have used before. I just haven’t been able to lately,” You try to give some proof you are not a reckless woman. 

“Good. Well, I have applied bacta to your many wounds. I have also prescribed several medications for your pain and recuperation of your internal organs. But you must take the next couple weeks to rest. You are not fit to do anything but stay in bed. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Now, just because I say to stay in bed does not mean you should continue to have congress. You and Lt. Mitaka should do your best to refrain from sex. Especially rough sex,” She adds. You do your best not to laugh. She thinks Mitaka is your lover. 

“I understand.”

“I have more patients to see. I will check on you again. Nurse Wilto will adjust your dosage for your current pain,” Dr. Ryza stands up. 

“Thank you.”

Dr. Ryza nods and leaves the room. Alone you lay still as you cannot do anything else. Your mind goes to Ben, of course. Lt. Mitaka said the ship has crashed and has not been located. But you know Ben isn’t dead. You’d brings him back to life and kill him if he were. But you wonder how he will be found. Once he is found and returns, will he be okay with you being on this ridiculous bedrest?

Nurse Wilto enters your room. He says nothing and does not even look at you. Instead he goes tot eh bag filled with the drug intended to ease your suffering. His adjusts yield immediate results. A buzz comes over your body then numbness. Wilto leaves you to rest. You close your eyes enjoying feeling nothing. 

“Sly,” You hear your name again. You open your eyes and see Captain Phasma standing next to you. Lt. Mitaka is with her as well. You hear the heart monitoring machine increase its beating at the sight of her. You had not seen your former captain since you were almost executed. You swallow before addressing her.

“Captain Phasma,” You cannot bring your arm up to salute. 

“Lt. Mitaka informed me that you were no longer in a comatose state,” She refers to the lieutenant by her. 

You say nothing but show you are as he said. 

“How did you know that Commander Ren and General Hux’s ship had crashed?” She jumps right into an interrogation. 

“The force allowed me to see it. I sought after you immediately when I knew. Lt. Mitaka told me it has crashed and no one knows where they are. “

“Yes, we are struggling to locate them. We are prepared for the fact that they may be dead.”

“Commander Ren is not.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know, Captain.”

She stays still and quiet for a moment. 

“Do you have any knowledge as to where they might have crashed?”

“No.”

“Could you not use…the force?” She recognizes that you have the ability. 

“I do not think I could at this time. But I know Commander Ren is not dead so you must not stop searching for him.” You charge her. 

“We have no plans to stop. We need to discover their ship at least as it contains important information for the First Order.” 

It is obvious Phasma has no care for the people on the ship, just the information. You are not surprised. She has no attachment to the men. Troopers aren’t supposed to be overly concerned on the dead. That’s why troopers aren’t supposed to go back to save their fellow troopers in battle.

“Captain Phasma.”

You see a saluting Two-Six at the door of your room. Captain Phasma turns around to see her lesser. 

“What is it FN-1226?”

“We have received a transmission from an unmarked planet from Commander Ren and General Hux,” Two-Six relays the information loudly enough for you to hear. You start to smile. You knew Kylo wasn’t dead. 

“We will form a rescue squad,” Captain Phasma walks out with Lt. Mitaka following and passes Two-Six. Two-Six quickly and quietly comes to your side. 

“Are they really alive, Two-Six?” You lift your hand. She takes it. 

“Yes. Oh, Seven-One, what the hell happened to you? You were fine two days ago when I left you,” Two-Six pushes some of your hair back off your forehead. 

“I was meditating. Then I saw Commander Ren in his ship as it was crashing. I reached out and touched him briefly then I was back in my room barely able to move or function,” You recall the events. 

“How could you see or touch him? He’s so far away?”

“I don’t know, Two-Six. But I did. I think it is what has caused my body such duress,” You figure. 

“You must be more careful then, Seven-One. I’ll never forgive you if you die on me,” She squeezes your hand though it does not hurt. 

“I’ll be more careful. I will talk with my master when he returns to know what to do. But you are sure he is alive and safe?” You check once more. 

“Yes. We heard his and General Hux’s voices.”

“Good. Good.” You feel your eye lids growing heavy as well as your limbs. 

“Are you alright?”

“It’s the drugs. They’re making me tired,” You look to the bag of fluid next to you. 

“I’ll let you rest then,” Two-Six releases your hand. 

“Thank you.”

Two-Six leaves you alone once more. You enjoy the solitude briefly before you feel your body lose itself to sleep once more. 

* * *

Sensing a familiar presence, you open eyes slowly. They drag up the dark figure at the foot of your bed. They settle on the black combat helmet with the silver inlay. You smile knowing it is Kylo. You would have preferred to wake to his face but his mask will suffice to please you. 

“I knew you were alive,” You exhale. 

“Of course, I am. But what has happened to you?” He makes no move to touch you. You take a deep breath before enlightening him of your last mediating experience. 

“It is no wonder you are in this state. Such an effort should have killed you,” He walks around to be at your side instead of at your feet. His gloved fingers subtly rest against yours. You move yours so they can delicately grip his. 

“Dr. Ryska is not pleased with my state and has ordered me to be on bedrest for a couple weeks. So I’m afraid that I won’t be able to go get my kyber crystal,” You pout. 

“You can wait. Your health is more important,” He gives the little comfort. 

“She also said that I can’t have sex while on bedrest,” You give the extra information.

“That is unfortunate news. But how did she know you were having sex?”

“Your markings are a bit obvious,” You chuckle, “but she thinks Lt. Mitaka is my violent lover.”

“Why would she think it is him?” His fingers grip you.

“Because he brought me in so I guess she assumed he was my lover,” You surmise the reason for her misunderstanding. Kylo just stands quietly. He can’t be jealous. He is the one who didn’t want people to know about the two of you. So, isn’t it better for people to think it is Lt. Mitaka?

“I will prepare more reading materials for you since you will not be able to practice combat,” He speaks.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll start that now,” he takes one step but you tighten your hold on his fingers. 

“Wait. Could you just sit with me for a minute and tell me what happened with you and Hux?”

“It’s rather boring,” He says but stays.

“I would still like to know.”

“Alright.” He returns to his position and keeps his fingers with yours. 

You listen intently as he tells you of how a little tampering from a radar technician led to the crash of their ship on an unknown planet. Their pilot died but he and Hux survived by his force usage. You gasp in horror as he tells of the attack from the beasts called norwoods but sigh in relief when he is saved by the hermit on the planet. You are intrigued by the information he spills about his mother and how they used to it deceive the former Alderaan palace guard into gaining his trust and usage of his communication devices to reach the First Order who came for them. 

“Your mother was a princess of Alderaan?” You focus on the tidbit. 

“Yes, she was Princess Leia of Alderaan,” he gives away her identity. 

“The Princess Leia?” You know her name. How could not piece together that Princess Leia is his mother when Han Solo is his father? But how is she the sister of Luke Skywalker?

“You’re confused on my lineage, aren’t you?” Your thoughts are obvious to Kylo. 

“Yes.”

“My grandfather did not know of her or my uncle when they were born. Their mother died and had them separated. My uncle became a farmer then jedi. My mother was adopted by a royal family.”

“Ah…so…that makes you a prince,” you grin giddily. 

“No.” He does not share your pleasure in the title.

“But if your mother is then you are even if your father was a smuggler,” You explain. 

“No. Her planet has been destroyed and she became a senator and now a general. So, I am no prince.”

A princess turned senator and general. No matter how he slices it, Ben is a prince.

“I have to disagree, your highness. You are still a prince,” You state. His fingers twitches annoyed at the insistence.

“Call me a prince again and I will show you how unprincely I can be,” He growls. The possibility excites you instead of making you scared. 

“Show me, my prince.”

He grips your fingers so tightly you think they may break then he stops. He releases them. 

“You are too weak to handle what I want to do to you.” 

A shiver goes over you making your skin grow goosebumps. You’d love to experience what he wants to do to you. You want to see his unprincely side again. But he is right. Your body is too weak at this time to handle the force of his wrathful lovemaking. 

“I guess I will try to restrain myself from provoking you then, your highness,” you have to add the title just for the hell of it. You hear him exhale frustrated which makes your grin stay on your face. It is fun to tease him. 

“I am going now,” He lets go of your hand. 

“Alright…” You sulk. 

“I will return with the reading material,” he assures you. You nod and watch him leave. You sigh. You are not sure of how in the world you are going to survive the next few weeks without being able to have sex with Ben or control yourself from teasing him about his royal status. How horrible it is going to be to have to relearn self-control. 


	28. Discharged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for so many kudos and great comments! I love the feedback. Please, feel free to let me know what you think. I really appreciate it. Here is the next chapter. Please, enjoy.

Chapter 28

Three weeks have passed. Three weeks of daily physical therapy and medical testing have passed. Three weeks of reading pages upon pages about force wielding, ideologies, combat and lightsaber combat have passed. Three weeks without being touched except by medical practitioners and Two-Six have passed. Three weeks have passed and you are more than ready to leave medical bay. 

There were some good things about your three-week stay. Like when your period came at the end of last week you were able to enjoy the rather short two cycle without having to do anything. And like how everyday Two-Six was allowed to come see you for a half hour. She would enlighten you of the outside world. It is from her that you received the ironic news that FN-3181 has been sent to reconditioning on the orders of Commander Ren. 

Another popular visitor of yours is Lt. Mitaka. He comes about once every two days to check on your health status. He would make light conversation in his visits as well. You are not sure why he keeps coming back but you won’t refuse someone other than the medical staff to see you. 

The best things about your stay is the nightly, afterhours visits from your master. He comes when only the medical droids are on duty. He locks the door and makes sure all the curtains are covering the windows of your room. 

At first you thought he desired the privacy so you two could have unrecommended sexual encounters. Instead, each night Kylo sits by your side with fresh stacks of reading material for you to read the next day. He discusses the topics addressed in previous days’ papers. He never removes his mask or touches you. He just sits and talks.   
At first you understood. He wanted to keep up his appearance as the fearsome Commander Ren and honestly, you weren’t up physically for sex. But after these weeks, you see no reason for him not to be unmasked when you two are alone. You also don’t see why he makes no attempt to touch you. You are completely fine now. 

It isn’t that you haven’t enjoyed just talking with Kylo. You have. Although most of your conversations consists of your health reports, his work day and the force, you like being able to just talk with him. You enjoy him confiding in you even over nonimportant things like his dislike of General Hux. There is a closeness formed in such simple interactions. 

Still, talking isn’t enough anymore. You miss his touch, his freckle splattered skin, his unfiltered voice, his musky scent, the curve of his lips, the light in his dark eyes, the shape of nose, the ripple of his muscles, the safety in his arms, the beat of his heart, the taste of his tongue, and the feel of him inside you. You need to have him, all of him, not just his mind.

You’ve attempted to provoke him into defying Dr. Ryska’s orders. You had been in medical bay for a week when he came late in the night. You had just had a sponge bath and a week without sex had made you desperate. All he wanted to talk about were the seven forms of lightsaber maneuvers. You didn’t care about them. All you cared about were the seven different ways he could fuck you in this medical bed. Your body warms at these thoughts. 

“Am I boring you?” He stopped droning on about the forms. 

“Yes, yes, you are,” You added a yawn afterward. 

“Hm. Then I should go,” He stood up to leave. 

“If you wish to,” You paused and waited for him to get near the door before smirking and adding an honorific, “my prince.”

“I told you not to call me that.” You saw his fists ball.

“My apologies, your worshipfulness,” You continued to tease. He turned back to look at you. You wished you could see his face and see the anger in his eyes. He seethed your name. 

“Don’t provoke me,” He warned. It only made your pussy throb in excitement. 

“I would never,” You feigned outrage. 

“Good,” He began to turn back around to leave. 

“Yes. I would never. I would hate to upset the sensibilities of such a sweet prince as yourself.” As soon as “prince” left your mouth, his hand was up and your head was pushed down against the pillow unwillingly. He came up to you with his hand still out. His force kept you pinned down. He brough his masked face close to yours.

“I am no prince,” He growled. 

“Prove it,” You challenged.

He grabbed your face. His fingers dug into the flesh of your cheeks. The leather of his gloves made his hold rougher but you liked it. Your heart began to race not knowing what he was going to do to you. You were already getting wet. 

“No.” 

“No?”

“I’m not going to fuck you when you’re like this,” he began to pull his hand from you. You grab it. 

“Come on. I can handle it.” You insisted.

“No. You couldn’t,” He tried to pull his hand away from your hold. 

“I can. Please! Please! Just fuck me! I need you to fuck me!” You begged desperately.

“No.” He pulled away.

“Please, I need you,” You whined. 

“No.”

“Do I have to show you?” You tossed your blanket over and pulled up your gown. You spread your legs and roll up your hips further exposing your dampening folds. He moved down and stared at your spread self. 

“See. I need you,” You tried to keep the position but you begin to feel a strain in your muscles as you keep it up. You would not admit to your discomfort. You needed him to fuck you.

He dragged his pointer finger around your labia. He rested it at your clit. You started to wiggle as to get some sort of friction.

“Please. I need you in me. I want your big cock in me,” You tried again with the begging. He took his fingers away. You huffed in disappointment then cringed as you felt a painful spasm in your back. You dropped your legs in the pain.

“See you’re not ready,” He pulled your gown down to cover yourself then pulled up your blanket to cover you. 

“I’m sure its nothing a dose of your cum wouldn’t fix,” You still tried.

“I’m not going to fuck you till you are discharged,” He vowed making you pout. When did he become so self-controlled? 

“But when you are, I’m going to destroy that cum hungry pussy of yours.” His promise made you and still makes your heart flutter in anticipation. He then left. He did not return till the next night and continued his lectures. You had to spend the past weeks waiting for the day that he will fulfill his promise.

Today is the day. Dr. Ryska has finally given you permission to be discharged. You know exactly what you want to do to celebrate. Well, more like who you want to do to celebrate. This is exactly why you are in your room freshly showered and shaved for a celebratory fucking. You put on the sexiest of the dresses in your room. The black velvet dress clings to your figure. The deep v cut shows off your sternum and your cleavage. You have slits going up both sides of your dress. They reach your upper thigh. You notice a collection of shoes has been added during your absence. Most are combat boots of differing styles but you notice a set of heels. You slip them on gaining a few inches in height afterward. You walk to the mirror in your room. You love your look but your hair must be dealt with immediately.

You pull your desk’s chair in front of the mirror and sit down to mess with your hair. With great effort you manage to braid your hair back into a low chignon style. It is simple but it works. You look yourself over again. You smile pleased with your appearance. Now, you just need to find Kylo and have him undo all of your work and even some of Dr. Ryska’s.

Knowing Kylo would not be pleased to have you strutting about the base dressed like this for all to see, you grab your cloak and put it on. It covers up your body enough so you decide to seek out your master. 

You leave your room and start on your way to his quarters. As you walk the halls, your body tingles. You cannot wait for him to destroy you like he promised. You cannot wait to be totally obliterated by him. Almost completely lost in your thoughts you do not hear or see Lt. Mitaka till he calls your name for the third time. 

“Dopheld,” You finally register his presence in the hallway. 

“I see you have been discharged. Congratulations,” He smiles flaunting his dimples. You really like those dimples. 

“Oh, thank you. I’m glad to be out and able to get back to a normal routine.”

“Yes. And now the First Order will be stronger with your return and more beautiful,” He remarks with the little praise. You begin to blush at the compliment. You are not sure of what to say or react to the ‘beautiful’ remark.

“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t overstep,” He apologizing having taken your redness and silence to mean something negative. 

“Oh, um, it’s okay. I’m just not used to anyone calling me…beautiful,” You don’t want him to feel bad.

“Still, it isn’t appropriate for me to make such remarks. I apologize,” He scratches the back of his neck. 

“It’s really fine, Dopheld. I’m not bothered.”

He relaxes at your insistence. 

“Good. I would’ve hated to have fucked up our friendship,” He sighs. 

Friendship? You hadn’t exactly thought of Dopheld as a friend. He was your superior and now he is your neighbor. He did visit you often in medical bay. Did that make you two friends? You suppose it does. 

“Don’t worry. Complimenting me won’t fuck up our friendship,” You laugh softly. He keeps a small smile. 

“We should celebrate your release. I have some spice runner hard cider in my quarters,” He points down the hall from whence you had come. 

“Oh, I’m not really good at handling alcohol,” You mentally recall your drunken episode that led to you meeting Kylo in the first place. 

“Just one drink won’t hurt, Sly,” He insists. 

“Well, maybe a different time. I really need to get to Commander Ren. He will be displeased if I don’t notify him of my release,” You give another excuse that will free to go to your master.

“Right. Commander Ren…we do not want to displease him,” He swallows hard. 

“But maybe we can celebrate later?” You give a smile. 

“Yes. Just let me know when you are free.”

“I will. But I better get going now,” You end the conversation. He nods and lets you pass him. 

You finally reach your destination. You take a deep breath before knocking on his door. You wait with heart pounding for him to open the door. 

He doesn’t.

You knock again. But he still does not answer. You press your ear against his door. You hear nothing in the room. Is he not in his room?

“Master?” You call out after knocking once more. 

Nothing.

You are unsure of what to do next. You could just stand and wait for him, use the force to open his door and wait for him inside, or go find him. What to do? What to do?

“Sly.” You turn around hearing your name. You beam seeing your master and commander. 

“Master,” You greet him. 

“Did you break out of Medical bay?” He asks. You chuckle. 

“No, Master. I have been discharged. I have been deemed completely restored to my former health and strength,” You inform him happily. 

“Good. Let’s go then,” He turns around. 

“Go? Go where?” You ask running up to his side. 

“If you are well, then we can go begin our way to Dantooine. You need to get your kyber crystal. We’ve talked about this,” he does not stop. 

“Right. Um, well, master, I’m not-I’m not exactly dressed for Dantooine,” You remember your attire. 

“I’m sure whatever you are wearing is fine,” He doesn’t even look at you.

“I assure you, it is not,” You grab his arm. 

He finally stops. He turns his head. You let go of his arm.

“What are you wearing?”

You look down the hall to see if anyone else is around. They are not. You loosen your cape and open it wide so he can see your outfit. He says nothing and does nothing. Does he like it?

“No, you can’t go to Dantooine dressed like that,” He agrees. 

“Right. So, if we are to go, I will need to go change,” You start to tie on your cape. 

“Hmmm, you will.”

“I will go then,” You sigh and start to walk away from him. You are disappointed. You will have to get out of your beautiful clothes and change into something sensible just to go get gross on Dantooine without getting fucked. 

“Did I dismiss you?” You feel him grab your bicep roughly. You look back at him.

“Um, no, but I assumed-”

“Tsk. Tsk. Never assume I want you to leave me,” He pulls you close against him. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry…what?” 

You know you are supposed to say “master”, but you cannot help but feel the need to goad him now. 

“I’m sorry, my prince.”

His hand almost crushes your bicep. You hear his heavy breath behind his mask. 

“That’s it,” He snarls. He drags you by your arm toward his room. You are barely able to keep up wit him especially in your heels. He waves his hand and his door opens. He throws you inside and rips off your cloak as he does. You fall to the floor as you are unable to catch yourself. You try to push yourself up as you see Kylo rip off his helmet. He drops it on the floor next to him. Though his face in contorted into anger you are so happy to finally see his beautiful face. It has been too long. 

He walks up to where you are. He pulls off one of his gloves. 

Smack! The limp, leather gloves strikes your cheek. Your eyes widen at the action. It doesn’t hurt too much but you are surprised by the action. 

Smack! He swings the glove again and hits your other cheek. He grips your jaw with his naked hand making you face his. 

“I told you not to call me that,” He squeezes your jaw tightly. You wince a little but you can handle it. 

“I’m sorry…my prince,” You say it again. His brows go deep into a ‘v’. He pushes you down so your head this the ground. His body covers yours. He shoves two of his gloved fingers into your mouth. He pressed them down on your tongue. It is meant to hurt. But you close your lips around them. You begin to suck on them. You enjoy the earthy undertones in the leather. 

“If you want to suck something, I’ll give you something to suck,” he pulls his fingers out of your mouth. He lets go of your jaw. He moves up. His knees trap your arms at your sides. You lick your lips as he pulls out his hard, hot cock. You open your mouth ready for him. He pushes in without warning. You don’t mind. You’ve been ready for three weeks. He hunches over you as he thrusts his cock deep into your mouth as if he were thrusting into your sadly neglected cunt. The tip keeps hitting the back of your throat making you gag but Kylo ignores the sounds. 

The sounds of him groaning your name makes you moan as well. You missed him calling you by your name. You try to tighten your lips as to make your mouth feel tighter around him. You attempt to flip your tongue a few times as well to give him different textures. You feel him twitch when you do. You struggle to move your arms as they are stuck against your sides. Still you are able to bend them some. You brings your hands to his bottom. You squeeze his cheeks and push them forward as to get him deeper in your mouth. 

“Did I say you could touch me?” he pulls your hands away from his backside. 

“mgfo” You cannot speak clearly with him in your mouth. 

“Answer me.”

“Mgfo,” You try again. 

“Answer me clearly,” He grabs the hair close your forehead and tugs roughly. 

“Mgfo,” Is all you can get out. 

“You can’t even speak properly. Your mouth is really only good for fucking,” he speeds up his thrust. You struggle to breathe with this pace. 

“Your mouth only does what I want it to do, understand? If I want you to suck, you suck. If I want you to swallow my cum, you swallow. If I want you to never call me a prince,

then you never say it again. Understand?” He pushes all the way down your throat. You nod your head as best you can in the position. 

“Good girl,” he grins then grimaces as he coats your throat with his seed. He pulls out of you and backs up so he straddles your waist now. He watches you swallow. You pant trying to breathe now without any further obstructions. 

“Now, what are you to call me?” He asks. 

You know what you are to say. You take a deep breathe. 

“M-” You begin with the single syllable. You can do it. You can do it. He holds a smug look on his face. You like it and yet it irks you. He got off and has all the power. You liked it but…he did promise to destroy you. You must make sure he keeps his word. 

“My prince.”


	29. Destroy Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! They make me live. Haha. I do have a warning for this chapter. There are some sections that are rougher than what I usually write. (At least I think rougher). But do not worry, it is all consensual. With all of that out of the way, please enjoy!

Chapter 29

“My prince.” 

The moment the title leaves your mouth, Kylo scowls. You love it. You lick your lips again patiently waiting for him to act. 

“Do you want me to hurt you?” His hand finds your throat. He constricts it slights. He brings his lips dangerously close to yours. 

“I want you to destroy me.” You push up your lips making them lightly graze his. He forces his tongue into your mouth not caring that your mouth just had his dick in it. Just as you are enjoying his tongue playing with yours, he withdraws his tongue and sinks his teeth into your lower lip. He drags it down revealing the bottom row of your teeth. 

His hands grab your dress’s low neckline and pulls them part freeing your breasts for his viewing. He grabs your breasts, squeezing hard as if he were trying to pop them. His teeth release your lip and go to your chest. He bites at the tender flesh eliciting cries of pain from you. His mouth finally sets itself upon one of your nipples. He sucks and nibbles then switches to the other one. His hands go down to the high slits of the dress. He grasps your thighs roughly before pushing them apart. You do not resist. 

He sits you and stares at the fabric covering his favorite spot. He could easily just lift the fabric and plundered what is beneath it. Instead, his hands go to the top of your right slit. With both hands he pulls it apart. You shriek as he rips the dress open. 

“My dress…” You mourn the loss of the outfit. Kylo snorts and turns you over. As he does, he removes the rest of your dress. He grabs your arms and forces them behind your back. He ties your ruined dress around your arms binding them together. He grabs you by your hips and lifts them up making all your weight go to your knees, your aching breasts and your cheek that all rest against the floor now. 

He palms your raised ass and squeezes your cheeks. He digs his nails into the flesh. He keeps one hand on your cheek before taking two fingers and shoving them into your cunt. You gasp at the infiltration. You bite your sore lower lip as he pumps them in and out mercilessly. You moan and groan enjoying the feel of him inside you. His teeth however find your ass cheek. He repeatedly bites you leaving his marks over you. He adds a third finger increasing the intensity. You feel yourself growing closer to your long-awaited orgasm. 

“I-I-I’m gonna-” You try to warn him. But as soon as you do, he removes his fingers. You frown at the removal and therefore the delay from your orgasm. 

Your disappointment is remedied as Kylo shoves his cock inside you. He pushes all the way in allowing his tip to meet your cervix. He keeps a pace that is fast and hard. Your body rocks violently with his thrusts. You cannot keep your mouth from making obscene noises. His hand grabs where your hair is collected. He pulls your head up by it making your voice louder. 

Your walls squeeze around him as if to trap his cock in you. This does not go unnoticed by Kylo. 

“You want to come, don’t you?”

“Y-yes,” You gasp.

“Yes, what?” he slows his movements but though he moves slower, he moves deeper you could swear he has penetrated your cervix. You can barely breathe. 

“Yes, what?” He yanks on your hair. 

“Yes, ma-” You struggle to get the words out as you feel yourself about to burst.

“Say it!” 

You turn your head just enough to see his face. His eyes are solely focused on you. His breath is getting heavier. He wants you-no needs you to call him “master”. He will not have his release until you do. You enjoy this little power you have over him even though he is the one dominating you. Your time is short. You cannot hold out much longer. You’re about to-you’re going to- 

“Prince!” You shudder and give up any strength you had as you orgasm. You are merely held up by Kylo’s grip in your hair. He pulls out of you and lets go of your hair letting you fall to the floor. You manage to turn to lay on your side and look at him. 

You see his manhood is still hard and covered in your juices. You were right. He can’t finish. You smirk. He shows no amusement at your denying him a different title.

“I’m going to really fuck you up, you little cumslut.” He grabs you by the back of your knee and lifts your leg up allowing him access to your more than wet womanhood. He pushes in with no warning. He keeps the powerful pace he just had. The angle is not as filling as the previous but it in no way is lesser in making you feel good. This way too you can see his face. 

You see his cheeks color from the physical effort he has to put in. You love how his lips are parted as he breathes. You even like how his eyes are daggers intended for you. You keep your smirk so he knows you are not going to give into his wants easily. 

“You think making me angry is funny?” He asks you. 

“Yes,” You manage to say. 

“Let’s see how humorous you find this,” He moves a hand to his side. He pulls his lightsaber off his belt. You lose all mirth on your face. Instead your eyes lock on the weapon.

You begin to tremble. 

“What are you-What are you going to do?” You swallow hard. It is his turn to smirk now. 

“Don’t move,” He orders. But how can you not move with him rutting into you so roughly. He turns on the saber. You don’t know what scares you more, the crackle, or the heat radiating off the three blades. He brings it closer to your full cunt. 

“Wait! Wait!” You would have put your hand out to stop him but they are still bound behind you. 

“I give the orders here,” He brings it closer. He holds it sideways so the long blade points away from where your bodies are joined. The smaller blades still point toward you stomach and thigh. He presses the hilt against your clit. You clench your teeth at the intense vibration is sends to your bundle of nerves. 

“Get it away. It’s going to hurt me,” You plead despite enjoying the friction. 

“I thought you wanted to be destroyed?” he spits the words back at you. 

“By your cock not your lightsaber. Please.”

“Don’t you trust me? You think I’d let it slip and cut you up?” He presses the base harder against you.

“Mmf! I trust you but I-I-I-,” you cannot finish your sentence. 

“Are you going to cum again?” he laughs. He grinds the hilt into you making you fear it will make you bleed. Even so it feels too good. You can’t take it. You cry out as your wave crashes. 

Kylo turns off his saber and tosses it away. He pushes you onto your back. He pulls you by your hips closer. Your knees lock at his hips. He still hasn’t cum. His hand goes to your neck as his other hand holds your hips. He bucks into you as his hand begins to tighten around your neck. He leans down so his thick lips are close to yours again. 

“Call me ‘master’,” He squeezes your throat. 

“Prince,” you strain. 

“Master.”

“Prince.”

He brings his other hand up adding more pressure. 

“Call me ‘master’!” He demands. You know you are about to orgasm again. You feel him twitching in you. You look at his eyes. They’re not necessarily angry but more desperate. He needs you to say it. He needs this win. You cannot deny him anymore.

“Master,” You give in. Relief comes to his eyes. His hands move from your neck and to cradling your head. He kisses you tenderly and deeply. Your toes curl and try to grip the floor as you feel your insides practically explode. Kylo does not remove his mouth from yours until as he too finally finishes, deep within you. 

You lay beneath him trying to breathe. Your body is so sore and more than satisfied. You feel as if you need to sleep. You were not prepared for all of that. 

Kylo gets off of you. Instead of tucking himself away, he begins to remove the rest of his clothing. You hungrily watch him, enjoying the increasing of his view of his bare, fair skin. You nearly forget to breathe when your eyes run over his eight-pack. You love how shredded he is. His whole body just shows how powerful he is. You have missed it terribly. 

He picks you up from the ground. He carries you to the bed where he lays you down gently. He turns you on to your stomach. He frees you from your bindings. You wiggle your fingers once free. You sit up and stare at the ruined dress. 

“Forget the dress,” He throws it off the bed. 

“But it was so pretty…”

“Forget the dress. You don’t need it now,” He pushes your down by your shoulders. Your head hits one of pillows. 

“You’re right, I need to rest,” You assume this is why he has put you on the bed.

“Rest?” He laughs. 

Does he not intend on letting you recover?

“You’ve had enough rest. I’ve had to restrain myself for three weeks. I’m going to fuck you till we can’t tell where our bodies end or begin even if it means sending you back to medical bay.” He makes his objective clear. He is already hard again. You gulp. 

This is exactly what you wanted but now you are not sure if you will really be able to handle it. You’re already exhausted from the earlier rounds. Your body is so sore from his bites and rough handling. But you cannot deny the want you still have for him. 

“I did say I wanted your cock to destroy me,” You sigh as if it is a burdened then grin and spread your legs. With a small smile he positions himself between your legs. He lifts up your hips high and plunges into you. At the angle he holds you, you can literally watch him fuck you. You begin to gently play with your nipples as you watch him hide away in you then come back out just to go back inside. When he does you can see his cock become covered in the cum he left inside you. You probably should have been grossed out but it only arouses you more. 

“You like this? You like watching me fuck your cum filled pussy?” He increases his intensity. 

“Yes,” You have to leave your breasts to grip his sheets. 

He gains that smug look that annoys you but also turns you on. 

“You like it too, don’t you? You like seeing that even brimming with your cum I still can’t get enough of you,” You wrap your legs around his lower back keeping him from being able to pull out of you. 

“I do,” he begins to grunt. 

“Cumming already?” You attempt to tease even though you feel yourself growing closer. You struggle to keep your eyes open and focused on his face. 

“Shut up,” He bends over and takes your mouth with his. He bites your tongue then sucks it to soothe it. Your hands go to his shoulders. You dig your nails into them and drag them down. You cannot cry out when you cum as he still covers your mouth. He pulls away just in time for you to hear him curse and cum. 

You pant coming down. But he allows you no time. He gets off you and with little effort flips you over. He crosses your legs before forcing himself into you almost closed off cunt. You hear him murmurs about your tightness. You feel his pelvis hitting your arse with each move. His teeth on your shoulder. You grab the pillow your head was just on and bite it as he bites you. 

He pushes himself off you for a moment but does not stop his movements. You hear him chuckle. 

“What?” You look back at him. 

“You’re so tight but your ass jiggles each time I go against it,” He squeeze your cheeks. 

“If you don’t like it then-”

“Oh, I like it,” He squelches your frustration still groping your supposedly jiggly bottom. His thumb goes between them and presses into that other hole. You turn back to your pillow. He leans back down and sticks his tongue in your ear. It is a strange and wet sensation that you strangely like. 

“I like you ass, your cunt, your hips, your legs, your ankles, your feet, your toes, your back, your stomach, your shoulders, your arms, your hands, your fingers, your neck, your chin, your mouth, your tongue, your lips, your nose, your cheeks, your eyes, your forehead, your hair, your ears,” He moves his tongue to the outside your ear. He chomps down on the helix of your ear making you whimper. 

“I like your voice, sweetheart,” He continues with his list sucking on your lobe now, “especially when you cum.”

You keep your face buried in the pillow. You cannot last much longer with all the physical attention and now his rather affectionate words. 

“I like you. I like all of you,” He kisses you ear and then your neck. You can’t speak. But he knows you feel the same. 

“Go ahead and cum. Cum for me. Don’t hide your voice,” He pulls the pillow away from you. You close your eyes. His voice grows distant then completely disappears as you give a shout in your release. He leans back and lifts your hips. He is not gentle as he pounds to his own completion. He lays on your back. His breath is hot and so heavy against your sweat drenched skin. 

Kylo gets off you. You just feel him lift your body up and against him. He sits with legs crossed. He sits you down onto his impossibly re-erect cock. You groan at the insertion and leans your head back against his shoulder. He squeezes your breasts together as he rotates his hips. You naturally grind your hips against him. You turn your head and throw your arms back behind you. You grip the back of his head and make him leans his face closer to yours. He reaches out his tongue. You meet his with your own out stretched one. He leaves of one of your breasts so he can start tweaking your still tender clit. 

“Ah! Ah! Ah!” You can’t believe you are already cumming. You fall forward but his arms catch you and keep you against him. He turns you around so you are facing him. He then lays you down.

Like this, he slowly guides himself into you. He pulls out then pushes in languidly as his mouth and hands find your breasts. This time he does not bite or grope. He massages and licks over every mark his teeth dared to leave. It is so gentle. This is how you wish he had started but then again you liked his furious ravaging of your body as well. 

“Ben, oh, Ben,” You moan out with your fingers going into his hair. When he makes love to you like this, he is definitely Ben while earlier he was most assuredly Kylo. He mumbles your name against your breasts. His tip kisses the entrance of your womb again. It is blissful. Before you know it, you are lost again. He too cums. 

Surely, he must be done. You can barely move. He must be tired. He must be.

He is not. 

You lose track of the different positions he puts you in and how long you last in each one. You don’t even know how many times you’ve cum. You definitely don’t know how much he has except that he has, a lot. It seems to serve as a glue connecting you and him there. It feels like he has existed there. His cock as always been apart of you. You like it but you can’t take anymore. 

“Ben! Ben! Ben…” You black out with your final orgasm. 

* * *

You wake numb but sticky. You lay on top of Kylo’s sheets. You can move only your head. You look down at your body. It is covered in bacta ointment. You see Kylo still between your legs. Instead of holding his penis to put into you, he holds a washcloth he uses to wipe clean your over used sex. You are surprised that he has not only treated you but he is also cleaning you. 

“Ben,” you call to him weakly. 

“Shh,” he holds his hand out toward you. Your eyes close and you are gone again back to sleep. 

You wake a second time. Your skin has absorbed the bacta and you are now covered by Ben’s sheets. You look to your side and see Ben lying there next to you. He stares at you. 

“Ben,” You whisper. “You really have destroyed me.”

He smirks all too pleased with the damage he has done.

“You’ll recover,” his long fingers go to push some hair out of your face. They linger on your face and drag down to your lips. 

“I can’t go another round,” You confess. He chuckles. 

“I know. Let’s just rest,” He pulls you against him. You inhale him and are comforted by it.

“I’m glad to be back in your arms, Ben. Those weeks without your touch were miserable,” You share with him. He strokes your hair that you realize is no longer tied up. You snuggle closer to him with the little strength you have. 

“Restraining myself was…difficult,” He admits, “Don’t make me wait so long again.”

“I will do all that I can not to,” You giggle. 

“I won’t be so gentle if you do,” He threatens. 

Gentle? His actions were not gentle till near the end.

“Then you better not leave me again, or the force may try to connect like that again,” you put the blame more on him. 

“I won’t leave you,” He tilts his head down. You feel him press his lips a top your head. It is a sweet gesture that you enjoy. You smile against his skin. 

“We need to rest now. We will be going to Dantooine, tomorrow since you made me postpone it,” He reminds you of the journey he wanted you two to take. You hear him yawn. He is tired. Finally, he shows some fatigue. 

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to even walk tomorrow,” You think of your still numb limbs. 

“Then I’ll carry you. Now, let me get some sleep,” He presses you closer to him. You like the hold he has around you. You listen to his heartbeat. It is steady and strong as it should be. 

You know you need to sleep as well. You need your strength for tomorrow. Who knows what Dantooine will have instore for you?


	30. Your Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! Thank you so much for your comments, kudos and patience! They are very appreciated. Please, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 30  
Waking up in Ben’s arms is exactly how you want to wake up every morning. You stare at his closed eyes with their surprisingly long eyelashes. You memorize every freckle and mole again as it has been so long since you have been able to see his face up close like this. How have you survived not waking to this face every morning of your life? You cannot go another morning not waking up to this.

Having found that you can use your arms and legs now, you take your finger and lightly trace his long nose then his lips. You press your lips against his closed ones. 

Ben’s eyes blink open and come to stay on your close face. You could lose yourself in his twin blackholes he calls eyes. You open your mouth to give him a ‘good morning’ but his mouth covers yours before you can say the words. You’re able to snake your arms up and around his neck as he kisses you. He leans sending you onto your back. His hand slithers down to the apex between your legs. Softly, he rubs his fingers over it. You feel him harden against you. 

Your heart flutters unsure of whether or not you can handle more of him. He only sticks one finger inside you and tentatively moves about, stirring up your desire more. Out of habit you begin spreading your thighs to give him more access. He removes his finger and you feel his head pressed at your lips. 

“Can you take it?” Ben stops his kisses and asks barely above a whisper. 

“As long as you are gentle,” You give your requirement. 

“Aren’t I always?” He knows the answer. You both exchange knowing looks and chuckle. He returns to kissing you. He pushes in at the same time. It doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.

Ben moves gingerly in and out of you. You moan with each of the delicate thrusts. Though you are used to more vigorous sex, you like this tender way too. You are honestly surprised that he is being so careful with you. Then again you aren’t. Sure, he was so rough last night but he had been so careful and considerate of you and your health when you were in medical bay. He didn’t stop seeing you because you two couldn’t have sex. He came every day. He sat with you. He talked with you. He educated you. He never made you feel bad for not being able to satisfy him physically. He was the one who put your health above your own sexual desires. He cares about you. He trusts you or else we would have killed you after seeing all of his past. He listens to you. He protects you as you have seen a different occasions like on Kessel. How could you not care about him too? You more than care about him. You…oh shit. You love him. 

Is it really love? Maybe it’s just your attraction mixed with your high emotions and sex right now. Maybe that is it…But then again it may be love. You care about him more than practically anyone else. You want to be with him all of the time. You want to be with him forever. Over the past few weeks, you found yourself wanting him as your companion despite not being able to have sex. You know you love his body. That has been a given since he first finger fucked you, but you also love his mind. Even Anakin thought you loved him. And when you saw that vision where he said that he felt this, you were ecstatic. It must be…You love him. You do love him.

“Mmm,” You squeeze his neck as he nudges a sweet spot in you. He breaks the kiss. His lips are so pink form the kissing. He stops moving. 

“Am I hurting you?” He checks.

“No. It’s good. It’s really good,” You relieve him of the worry. 

“Good,” He returns to his pace and depth, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He kisses you briefly then keeps his face hovering above yours. He closes his eyes. You know he is growing close to his limit. You are growing close to your own limit especially as he keeps hitting your sweet spot. He groans out your name.

“Do you feel good? I want you to feel good,” he seeks your feedback. 

“Ben, it feels so-so good. Nothing ever feels as good as you being with me. How did I live without you for so long? I never want to know what that is like again,” You cannot help spilling out your honesty. His eyes open at your words. His eyes lock with yours. The intensity there is almost too much. 

I love you. You think staring into his eyes but don’t allow yourself to say it aloud. 

“Tell-tell me,” He speaks. 

“Tell you what, Ben?”

“Tell me…Tell me that you-” He doesn’t finish his sentence but you feel him hitting a bit harder. It is good though, too good. 

“Tell me how you feel about me,” he finally gets the words out. 

“I like you. I need you. I always want you,” You feel your body teetering on the edge.

“Tell me how you _really_ feel,” He insists. You look away from him. 

How you really feel? How you really feel about Ben? All you said is true. You do like him. You do need him. You do always want him. But you can’t say that you love him. It’s too embarrassing to say, especially if he doesn’t feel the same way. 

“Look at me,” He does not order or command, but you do. Those big, brown eyes are so focused and tender. They are urging, compelling, needing you to speak. 

“Tell me,” His voice is more strained. It strikes the chords of your heart. 

“I-I-I love-haa-I love-oh! Oh!” Your body convulses as your rapture overcomes you. Your body goes limp again. He leans his forehead against your shoulder as he is spent as well. You both huff in your exertion. 

“I love you,” You whisper the truth with your arms around him and holding him close. He pushes up off you and looks down at you. He neither smiles nor frowns. You swallow the lump forming in your throat.

“What did you say?” He asks. 

“I said…I love you,” Your repeat still softly.

“What?” Can he really not hear you?

“I love you,” You say for a third time a little louder. He grins and kisses you. Does this mean he feels the same?

Ben leaves your lips and begins to push himself off you. He sits up on the bed and bends over to get his pants from the floor. You sit up. Is that it? You tell him you love him and he just kisses you? What does that mean?”

“Ben,” You call him. 

“What?” He looks back at you.

“How do you feel about me?” You ask. 

“It doesn’t matter,” he turns his head back around and pulls up his pants before sitting again. 

“It does. It matters to me.”

He does not look back at you. You see his muscles tightening. You feel your own stomach begin to turn uncomfortably. You taste rust in the back of your throat. You want to puke waiting for him to speak. You resist the urge.

“I care about you.” Is his response.

“But do you love me?” 

“You need to know that for me to love would be to weaken myself. I can’t do that,” His voice is cold and distant. 

“So, you don’t,” You feel bile rising in your throat. You swallow so you can finish speaking, “you don’t love me.”

“No. I don’t. I never will,” Each word is like a blaster shot to the chest. Your stomach is like a lava pit with bursts trying to shoot up out of you. You suppress it as you suppress your tears. 

“I thought embracing our emotions is supposed to strengthen us. So, wouldn’t a strong one like love make you stronger?” You try to use the logic he taught you. He still keeps his back to you.

“Love is different. It makes one be concerned more about another person than oneself. When you take the focus off yourself and your goals, then you lose sight of what is important and therefore weaken yourself.” Kylo gives the lesson. 

“So, it’s okay for me to weaken myself but not for you?” You point out the hypocrisy. 

“You’re only goal is to serve me, right? So, loving me only helps you,” he explains. 

“You think serving you is all I want to do?” You cannot believe your ears. 

“Isn’t it?”

Your stomach is relentless. 

“I want to be your partner in every way not your servant. I want to by your side not under your foot. I want to be equal with you.”

“We will never be equal,” He stands up. “I am Kylo Ren: commander in the First Order, leader of the Knights of Ren, the Jedi Killer, heir to Darth Vader. And you are…”

“Nothing. I am nothing,” You shudder as the words leave you mouth. You start to get out of the bed. He looks back at you. He opens his mouth.

“Don’t tell me I’m not,” You cut him off before he can start. He says your name sternly. 

“I am nothing. I should have never expected you to love me. I’m sorry to have put you in this uncomfortable position,” You hold out your hand to summon your cloak to you. It comes and covers you quickly. You can’t take your dress since he ruined it. You aren’t going to take the time to put your heels on either. You are going to go barefoot. 

“I’m going to go. I need to get ready to go to Dantooine, right?” You start toward the door. You feel Kylo’s hand on the back of your neck and pull you back to look back at him. 

“You’re not nothing to me.”

“You’re right, I’m your little cumslut,” Your eyes betray you and let your tears come out. He starts to try to hold you closer to him.

“Don’t touch me.” You push him away.You get out of the door before he can grab you again. You walk as quickly as you can out down the hall. Your eyes begin to leak the closer you are to the elevator. You stomach is about to jump out of your mouth. You just need to make it to your room. Then you can cry and vomit out all the despair. 

You barely make it into your bathroom when you expel the contents of your stomach into the toilet. You cry as you do. Partially as a reaction for the vomiting but mostly from the fact that the man you love does not love you. Unable to spew anything else out, you remove your cloak. You see that his cum from this morning has trickled down your legs. You grimace at the sight. You don’t want any trace of him on you now. 

You jump into the shower and scrub away any trace of him that you can. You scrub and scrub till your skin is nearly raw. You leave the shower and rinse your mouth as many times as possible to get the taste of his mouth out of yours. You get some bacta ointment and put it all over you tender skin. You leave the bathroom and dress. You choose something sensible. A black, long sleeved jumpsuit and combat boots. As you put on the suit you notice is clings to every curve and edge of your body. You notice your breasts have gotten a little larger too. You suspect that you must have gained some weight having not exercised much during your stay in medical bay. You put on your combat boots before turning your focus to your hair. You keep is simple. A single braid will do. 

You look at your self in the mirror. You look the same but you aren’t. You woke happy and in love this morning and not even an hour later you feel nothing but sadness and anger. Those visions you had must have been the ones that don’t come true. Anakin did say some don’t. But Anakin also said you would have influence over Ben. He may have been wrong about that. 

_Knock. Knock._ You hear the door. You wipe your face once more to make sure there is no moisture there. You take breath before opening the door. 

“Two-Six?” You are surprised at her presence but then again lately it always seems to end up being her instead of Kylo. 

“I have been ordered to accompany you to Dantooine,” She informs you. 

“With me and Commander Ren?” You ask. 

“I don’t know. Commander Ren gave me the orders and told me to give this to you,” She holds out a rolled piece of paper. You open it. 

_I am sending you to Dantooine with FN-1226 to find your kyber crystal. They are located in some of the unhatched eggs of the Kinrath. I have spoken to you of these creatures before last week. I have full faith that you will be able to accomplish this task and return to base safely. Upon your return, you will build your lightsaber and we will begin your lightsaber training. That is all._

You read Kylo’s decision of your mission. He isn’t even coming now? Your anger bubbles up in you again. You ball of the letter and throw it behind you. 

“He’s not coning. Let’s go then, Two-Six,” You step out of your room. 

“Are you okay?” She asks. 

“No, but I want to get out of her as soon as I can,” You increase your speed. 

At the docking bay, you find a small shuttle prepared for you and Two-Six. She takes the pilot seat as you sit in the copilot spot. During take-off you feel your stomach sicken again. You rush to bathroom barely in time. 

“What is wrong with you, Seven-One?” Two-Six asks when you go back to your seat. 

“My stomach is just upset. I’ll be fine.” You rub your sore stomach. 

“Theirs is something wrong besides your stomach. What is it?”

“You wouldn’t understand.” You withhold the information from her. 

“Try me.”

“I told him that I loved him,” You begin. 

“Oh?” You hear a little pep in her voice. 

“He told me he doesn’t love me.”

“Oh…” Her voice loses the pep. “Maybe he just needs more time,”

“No. He told me he will never love me. He cares about me but that’s it. Because to love me would make him weak and he can’t be weak especially for a nobody like me,” Your flood gates open again. You hold your face in your hands. You are glad you two are alone in space. 

“He said that?” She grabs the controls as if she were trying to strangle them. 

“He didn’t call me a nobody but he didn’t have to,” You shake your head and lift it up.

“Wow. That’s fucked up,” She gives her opinion. 

“I don’t know what to do. How can I be around him now? How can I go on in this relationship knowing he never wants it to go much further beyond mentoring me and fucking me?” You pose your problem.

“I have never been in that situation, but…do you really want to go back to him knowing he will never love you?”

“What else can I do, Two-Six?” You have no other options. 

“Well, I have been saving up my credits and we have this ship all to ourselves. We could…we could leave. Once we get to Dantooine, I can trade this ship for another that can’t be tracked by the First Order. Then we can go anywhere we want. You wouldn’t have to go back to him. We can start new lives,” She gives the opportunity you two have at the moment. 

“But I love him.”

“And I love FN-0878. I will never be able to be with him and you will never be loved by Commander Ren. Staying at Starkiller Base will only make our lives a living hell. Haven’t we suffered enough?” Two-Six makes her case for you to desert. You look out the millions of stars before the window. You consider her words. If you leave you will break your promise to Kylo. If you stay you will be hurt and you will never become anything more than his fuckable apprentice. If you follow this plan by Two-Six then you can get you kyber crystal, build your own lightsaber and then go out and seek someone to train you so he can see you as his equal. Then maybe he will change his mind. Maybe then he can love you.

“How about it? Want to go rogue?” Two-Six needs your answer. Everything rides on your decision.

“Yes.”


	31. Dantooine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all for the kudos and the comments! Please, enjoy this chapter!!

Chapter 31  
The little green planet known as Dantooine grows closer and closer in the window of the ship. You look forward to seeing a landscape that is not snowy or sandy. Something lush and green will be refreshing.

“I will land close to one of the smaller towns on Dantooine. It’ll be best to avoid the First Order Base,” Two-Six makes an understandable decision about your destination. 

“You are sure you can sell this one?” You begin to have doubts. 

“A ship is a ship. I’m sure someone will bite. Besides if anything a junk trader will take it for parts.” Two-Six is confident. 

“Okay. But you can’t go walking around in your armor or no will buy.” You gesture to her attire. 

“I’ll ditch it when we land then.” She goes ahead and removes her helmet.

“Sounds good. But keep the blaster and utility belt. They’ll be helpful should anything go wrong. “

“Agreed. But we should probably come up with new identities. We don’t want to be traced by our numbers or your new name Sly.” Two-Six begins to think more about the complications. 

“Well…we can be sisters. You are one to me after all,” Two-Six suggests the relation. You smile at the level of closeness she has granted you. You feel the same. 

“I would like that.”

“My name will be…Jyn. That’s very common name, right? So, I’ll go by that,” Two-Six quickly decides her new alias. 

“I’ll be…” You pause. You can’t use Sly or FN-1971 like Two-Six – no – Jyn said. You will not use the name Kylo gave you either. That name is only for his lips. But you need a name. 

“Meia.” Yes, you did decide to name yourself after the princess. 

“Meia. That’s pretty. So, you are Meia and I am Jyn. We are sisters just looking for a fresh start.”

“What people should we claim as ours? People will ask,” You recall how most civilians and officers have surnames. 

“Hm…” A bittersweet smile comes on Jyn’s face. Her eyes are distant as her mind is most assuredly lost to her memories. 

“What is it, Two-Jyn?” 

“FN-0878 and I talked about doing this. We had thought of running away together and getting married and having a family. We never got the opportunity of course. But he said he remembered his family from before he was taken to the First Order. He remembered his real name and his family’s name. I would have taken his family’s name upon our marriage...” Her eyes water recalling the plans she can never fulfill now. Your heart goes out to Jyn. How wonderful it would have been for her and FN-0878 to have been able to go away together, marry and live freely together forever. You envy the love they obviously had but you don’t begrudge her. 

“I would like to use his family’s name for ours. It is the only family I’d want to be a part of and I know he wouldn’t mind you being a sister in it.” Jyn continues. 

“I am absolutely fine with that. What is the name by the way?” You realize she never said. 

“Naberrie,” Jyn smiles.

“That’s very pretty.”

“Isn’t it? It’s a Nabooian name.”

“Naboo?”

“Yes. His real name is Robal Naberrie. He told me his mother was from there but they were traveling on a ship to another planet when the First Order came and took him,” Jyn recalls her lover’s sad past. “I am glad that I have no idea of my origins. I think it is harder to adjust to being a trooper when you know you had a family who loved you.”

“Yes, I agree.” You nod. 

“So, it is settled. We are Jyn and Meia Naberrie,” Jyn grins. 

“Yes. Oh, no.” You frown seeing the light flashing meaning a transmission is trying to come into the ship. Jyn puts her helmet back on so she will appear a proper trooper. You press the button allowing a hologram to appear. A tiny general with a short nose, tiny lips and a horrible hole in his cheek revealing his teeth appears. 

“I am General Orman Nixlar. I am in charge of the Dantooine base. To whom am I speaking?” His voice is surprisingly high.

“I am Sly, apprentice to Commander Ren.” You answer. His eyes grow then resume their normal size. He clears his throat. 

“Oh, yes, Commander Ren notified us of your impending arrival. We have a space in our docking bay and accommodations for you and your attending trooper.”

“Thank you, General. I look forward to meeting you in person,” You keep a proper tone. 

“As do I. We will see you soon.” He ends the call with a nod and disappears.

“They’re expecting us? How can I land somewhere else if they are expecting us?” Jyn begins to panic.

“We just have to adjust our plan. We will land at the base then I will ask for a way for us to have transportation out from the base.”

“Why would they let us leave the base?”

“My mission is to find a kyber crystal. They’re in the eggs of the Kinrath and those do not live on base. So, to complete the mission I will have to leave base. I will be sure to have you come with me. Once away we can go to a town and find transportation off Dantooine,” You create a new plan. 

“That can get expensive. I’ve saved some credits like I said but without being able to sell this ship we will run out of funds quickly. What will we do for credits then?” You don’t even have to use the force to sense her anxiety. You know she is beginning to rethink her plot to go rogue. 

“We will find a way. We can rent ourselves to be bodyguards. You know we have enough training for it. Or we could become bounty hunters or Mandalorians or smugglers or farmers or junk traders or really anything. There are so many jobs out there. As long as we don’t have to be prostitutes, I’m fine with doing anything to make money. Aren’t you?” You give the numerous options. You hear Jyn take a breath.

“I guess,” She nods. 

“We’ll be fine, Jyn,” You put your hand on hers. 

“You don’t think that we should just give up on this idea and go back to the First Order?” Jyn waffles. 

You bite your lip. If you do return you, will be reunited with Kylo. You will stay at his heel as his protégé tending to his every sexual need and pining for his love which he himself has said you will never have. Jyn will go back to being FN-1226 and living out her days fighting for the people who have separated her from the man she loves. If you two go, then Jyn will be free to do whatever she pleases. She won’t be reconditioned or punished for having non-regulation feelings for someone. Maybe she can even go to Naboo and find the Naberrie family. You can go with her and see the festival of lights. Then you can go and learn the ways of the force once she is with the Naberrie family. After gaining more power you will then return to Ben. Then you can arrange for FN-0787 to leave and go back to Naboo. Yes, this is what you will do. 

“No. **_We_** will not go back,” Your resolve is firm. 

“If you’re sure then I’m sure,” Jyn straightens up having regained her assurance. 

Jyn successfully docks your ship in the Dantooine First Order base. Disembarking from the ship you are greeted with attentive troopers and the surprisingly tall General Nixlar.

The salute is surprising but you stay poised and accept the salute as if you were actually someone important like Commander Ren. 

“Welcome to Dantooine.”

“Thank you, General Nixlar. I assume you have a speeder prepared for us so I may complete Commander Ren’s orders,” You quickly drop your master’s name. You are sure to keep some authority in your voice as Kylo does. 

“Um, we will have them ready in a moment,” General Nixlar snaps his fingers and two cadet officers run off. 

“Very good, General.”

“Commander Ren informed us that you would need certain metal parts for your mission,” General Nixlar gives two quick snaps. A young lieutenant steps up with a box. He opens it up for your view. You stare at the pieces. You see a chrome pommel, various buttons of differing sizes, a sliding bar, a grip, a transition piece, a pilar, an upper and lower emitter, and then many other discs. There are wires as well. Staring at them you know they are meant to be pieces to build a lightsaber. 

Kylo had them get the parts? 

“Are they correct?” the general asks. 

“Yes, General. Thank you,” You take the box then hand them to FN-1226 as you are not sure if someone of your position should be carrying your own things. The troopers run up having brought two speeders with them.

“Here are your speeders.” 

“Grand. Thank you for your service today, General Nixlar,” You nod for Jyn to take a speeder. You start toward your own. 

“Just alert me of your return to base and I will be sure to show you to your accommodations,” He offers. 

“Thank you, General. I will be sure to inform Commander Ren of your gracious welcome and hospitality,” You give him a smile. He smiles in return at the prospect of being praised to his superior

You board your speeder. Jyn and you zoom off out of the base. Neither of you are willing to stop. 

You find that Dantooine is covered in lush forests and just fields and fields of green. The air is fresh and sweet. You enjoy the warmth of the sun on your face. You both slow your speeders then stop. 

“This looks like a good enough spot to change,” Jyn hops off. She removes the outer layers of her armor and her helmet. But she keeps her utility belt and blaster on her. 

“Much better.” You comment on her altered appearance. 

“We can just drop this here then too,” Jyn starts to put down the box of your lightsaber’s pieces. 

“No. Wait!” You grab the box from her. 

“You want a bunch of scrap metal?” Jyn raises an eyebrow.

“They’re pieces to building a lightsaber. I just need to put it all together and get my kyber crystal from around here,” You inform her. 

“You still want to get that?”

“Yes. I still wiled the force and stuff. It might benefit us in the future.”

“Where will you get a kyber crystal then?”

“They’re in kinrath eggs. And their nests are in caves around here.”

“Then let’s find one quickly. We want to be off this planet by nightfall,” Jyn begins her search for a cave. You notice several hills around the two of you. You split in search for a cave. She goes North as you go South. Finding nothing, she goes west and you go east. 

“I found one!” She exclaims. You race to her hill. As you do you think of Kylo’s lecture on Dantooine and the Kinrath. Your mind flies back to you sitting in your bed with Kylo sitting in the chair next to you. 

“The kinrath are blind but poisonous four-legged arachnoids that can sense another creature by heat. And once they hatch, they grow very quickly. The best way to fight these creatures is not with lightsabers or blasters as they give off too much heat. You must use the force to sway them whether physically or mentally.”

“How would I do it mentally?”

“Like how you did with the watcher in the woods. Kinrath should be easier to sway in that way than a trooper.”

“And where do the kinrath live on Dantooine?”

“In the subsurface of the planet. There will be entrances through caves in the hills.” He informed you as he should have.

Reaching Jyn’s side you stop. You look at the great hole then at your friend. 

“Stay here and watch this please,” You hand her your box again. 

“I’ll go with you,” Jyn takes a step forward. 

“No. The Kinrath are very dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt,” You stop her. 

“But-”

“Please. Just wait here. I will return,” You promise. She frowns but nods.

You step in and walk far. The ground tilts as it begins to go deeper into the earth. The light that had come from the cave’s entrance diminishes greatly the more you walk inside. 

“I guess this is like when he would blindfold me in the woods,” you murmur to yourself as you see nothing but darkness. It grows colder as well. You want to rub your arms to warm yourself but stop. You don’t want to create heat that will attract the kinrath. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. You give yourself over to the force to lead you. 

Silver lines come and form the traces the objects in the cave. You see rocks in you path. You avoid them as carefully as you can. You stop seeing the outlines of oval shaped items on the ground. They stick up straight. Are these the eggs?

How am I to tell which ones have kyber crystals? 

Krickicki. You hear the strange noise. You turn your head and see two creatures with four long limbs and fifth looking leg coming out of what you would call the face. You shiver at the sight of them. You hope they do not sense you. 

You step lightly around the eggs not sure which one to grab. You see more of the deadly creatures the further you go. They seem to fail to notice you though. 

There! You see something shining in your force sight. It is a simple white dot in the eggs. It is like a star in the darkness. It must be the kyber crystal. In your excitement you hasten your steps. 

Shit. You look down having stepped on an egg destroying it. The egg oozes a hot goo that coats your boot.

Krickicki. Kirickicki. They titter. You know they sense the heat coming for your shoe. Your desire egg is not far. You just need to reach it. You speed but end up stepping on more eggs. The hot goop splatters onto your pants as well now. 

You hear the kinrath coming toward you. You hold out your hand to the hidden kyber crystal. 

Come to me. Come to me. You call it. You turn your head back to the kinrath coming toward you then back to the hesistant crystal. 

“Come to me!” You verbalize the command. Four shining stones fly into your hand. 

Four? You ignore the amount and shove them into your top. Though they are rough against you breasts, you know they will be safe there. 

Krickiciki! Kirickicki! A swarm of the kinrath approaches you. You gulp. They tower above you. 

Crack. Crack. You hear some of the eggs around you. 

Are they hatching? You can see their outlines. The small beasts emerge from their shells. They begin to swell, gaining girth and height. How will you defeat this many? 

I wish Ben were here… You think of your master who would obliterate them all with ease. Your heart aches. 

No! You have to do this yourself! You shake away the pain. You raise your hands seeing them closing in on you. You inhale and exhale. 

You run through the nest not caring that by doing so you are covering yourself in the hot ooze. As you run you wave you hands sending many of the arachnoids flying into the cave walls or into each other. They soon regain themselves and chase after you. They run on the ground, the walls, and even the ceiling. You hear the eggs not crushed by your running feet hatch. The chittering of the quickly growing babies is nothing compared to the fully grown adult kinrath that are crawling out of tunnels you had not noticed before when you were seeking your crystal. 

“Shit!” Your foot catches on a rock causing you to fall. You try to push up but a sharp leg pins you down. You know it will strike you with the poison if you hesitate. You turn and wave your hand at the arachnoids around you.

“There is nothing here. There is nothing here.” You lowly and calmly chant. You feel the leg leave your body and nothing moves. You stand up. You face them still and begin backing away from them toward what you hope will be the entrance of the cave. 

“Go back to your home. Go back to your home.” You keep waving. 

Krickiciki. Kirickicki. You hear them and in your force sight see them leave. You sigh in relief. 

“He was right. Mind control is much better,” You think on Kylo’s former advice. You walk as quickly as you can. Before you know it, you feel the warmth of the sun. You open your eyes to actually see. You smile seeing the opening to the green fields of Dantooine. You reach into your top and look at your prizes. 

Four. You count the pointed clear crystals in your hands. The amount surprises you but also pleases you. Ben will we be so proud of how-no. He will not know or be proud. He will remain ignorant to you, your success, and everything else from now on until you can reach his level. You squeeze the crystals tightly in your hand as you exit.

“Are you okay? Is that blood?” Jyn looks you over. You look down and see yourself splattered in red residue. 

“Not mine,” You start to laugh. Jyn does not laugh. 

“Did you get your crystal?” She gets back to your mission. 

“Yes, look,” You hold your hand out flat and show her the stones. She stares at them unimpressed. 

“I thought they’d be…you know…red.”

“Me too. But I guess they will change once inside the lightsaber,” You shrug.

“Are you going to build that now?”

You look to the sky. The sun has moved much further than you like. 

“I’ll build it later. We need to get to a town and find a ship fast.” You take the box from Jyn. You put your crystals in it. 

You both run to your speeders and board. You head in the opposite direction than the base from which you came.

* * *

Much to Jyn’s pleasure, she was able to sell your two speeders for 2,000 credits each. You both began wandering the streets of Dantoo Town looking for anything giving a sign of ships leaving. But there is no luck. 

“I heard pilots often end up in cantinas,” Jyn stops outside of such said establishment. You look at the white stone exterior of the building. ‘Poli Cantina’ is painted on the sign. 

“Really? You think a good pilot will be in here?” You furrow your brows. 

“So I’ve heard. Come on,” She grabs your wrist and pulls you inside. 

Peppy music fills your ears as the stench of alcohol fills your nostrils. The cantina is darker than you expected except by the bar where a Mon Calamari makes drinks. You see Twi-leks, Togrutas, Lasats, Ortolans, Trandoshans, rodians and humans everywhere. 

“I’m going to go ask around about ships and pilots,” Jyn leaves you and heads straight to the bar. You know you should ask around as well but you are absolutely exhausted. You are surprised at your fatigue. But you did vomit a lot this morning and only ate a bit of Jyn’s rations on the flight to Dantooine. It makes sense. You go and sit in a booth by yourself. You look around the cantina not sure if Jyn will have any luck. 

Your eyes focus in a tall being covered in dark brown fur. He appears to be a Wookie. Next to him you see the back of a man with gray hair. You stand up. You feel the need to see who this Wookie and man are. They are so familiar. 

You pass by numerous people who chat and drink and even dance. You grow closer to the table where those you seek sit. 

“Well, hello,” A grinning man jumps in front of you. It is obvious he is a frequenter to the cantina as his stomach looks like a barrel meant for containing booze. His jowls remain shaved and his bulging eyes are half glazed over. 

“Hi,” You keep your response short and try to pass him.

“I’m Glorkin. Let me buy you a drink,” He points to the bar. 

“I’m not interested in a drink or you,” You try once more to pass but he blocks you. 

“Ooh. That’s not nice, kitten. That’s not nice at all,” He shakes his head disapprovingly. 

“Well, I’m not a nice woman. Let me pass,” You step again but he won’t move out of your way. 

“I bet if I get a little drink in ya, ya will be nicer,” He grabs your wrist and tries to pull you with him. 

“I’m not interested,” you pull out of his hand. You are ready to hit him when you see he has pulled out a blaster and points it at you. 

“Yar gonna get a drink in ya then ya gonna get Glorkin in ya,” He snarls. You didn’t want to but you know you’ll have to use the force on this scum bucket. 

“Glorkin,” An arm goes around the neck of the man threatening you. As it does, Glorkin’s body moves and his arm sways. A hairy arm grabs the gun. You look to see the Wookie has grabs the gun. The man with his arm around Glorkin is a silver haired man. You swallow hard seeing his face.   
“The lady said she wasn’t interested. If you persist my friend here will have to break your arm. Do you want that?” The silver haired man asks. Glorkin shakes his head making his furry jowls jiggle. The wookie takes the blaster and Glorkin is released. He runs to the bar. You look at those who interfered. You barely look at the Wookie. Your eyes are solely focused on the man. 

You know face. You’ve seen though it has aged a bit since the you saw the face. The man is tall but definitely as tall as you thought he’d be. His nose is long and straight. He has a heavy brow and thick lips. He holds a charming smile. His hazel eyes stay on you. His boots, brown pants, white shirt and black jacket do not give much as to what his physique has become in age. He keeps a belt with a blaster in it. He is handsome for an older man. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

“I am. Thank you.”

“Pretty young girls like you need to be careful in places like this,” He comments. 

“I am aware.”

“Well, Chewy, looks like she’s fine. Let’s get going,” The man starts to walk. 

“Wait,” You grab the man by his arm. 

“What is it?” He is puzzled. 

“You’re Han Solo, aren’t you?” You whisper. His eyes widen and look around the room as if he did not want anyone else to hear the name. He grabs you by the arm and begins pulling you into a corner. With your back against where the walls meet, you see Chewy stand behind the man thus blocking us from the view of the other patrons.

“How do you know who I am?” He grips your upper arms.

“So, you are Han Solo.”

“I am but how do you know?”

“I’ve seen you before,” You are not lying. You have seen him before in visions. 

“What do you want with me?” He keeps up his interrogation. You are not sure. You just wanted to know if it were him or not. It is. What do you do now? Scold him for leaving his son? Tell him you love his son? Just walk away?

“Aren’t you a pilot?” You recall his profession.

“Yes. You need one or something?”

“Yes. My sister and I need transport off this planet tonight.”

“I don’t smuggle people,” he lets go of your arms and starts to step back.

“It’s not smuggling. We just don’t have a ship to get home. We can pay you to take us,” You offer the money. 

“I don’t like taking people,” he begins to reject you. 

“We can pay you four thousand credits, all up front.”

You see his eye twinkle with some greed. He scratches his stubbled cheek. 

“What do you think, Chewy?” he turns his head halfway toward the Wookie. It makes a shrill noise that makes Han begin to nod.

“Where exactly do you and your sister want to go?” He finally asks for a destination giving you hope that he will take you.

“Naboo,” You decide on the destination. 

“That’s clear across the galaxy. I don’t know if four thousand credits will cover that much of a distance,” he starts to make excuses. You know he wants more money. 

“I am sure that the man who made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs will be able to make it across the galaxy fast enough that four thousand credits would cover it,”

You reference his past success. He grins a little at the mention then sighs. 

“Unfortunately, I no longer have the Millenium Falcon that made that run,” he shakes his head then curses under his breath “Damn Gannis Ducain.”

“Oh? What do you have now?” 

“The Eravanna. She’s a good ship but not very fast. That’s why she’s a bit more expensive,” he tries to explain. 

“Shouldn’t she be cheaper if she is slower? If she were as fast as your Falcon I’d pay more but if she is slow then four thousand should be enough,” You will not fall for his trap.

He stares at you for a minute stone faced then cracks a smile. 

“Alright, you have a deal,” he sticks his hand out to you. 

“Great,” You take it and shake it. 

“We need to leave now though. Where is your sister?” He looks past Chewy. You look as well and she were talking to the bar tender. 

“There. The pretty tall one,” You point her out. 

“Grab her and meet us at docking bay 94. Bring the credits,” he points his finger at you so you will not forget.

“We will.”

Han and Chewy walk away and leave the cantina. You do your best not to make a seen by rising to Jyn. You grab her shoulder. 

“I found us a pilot,” You tell her excitedly. 

“You have?” She grins. 

“Yes. He costs four thousand credits but he will take us all the way to Naboo,” You mention the planet. 

“Naboo,” She says it with dreaminess coming to her eyes. 

“Yes, but we must go now,” You take her hand. 

Leaving the cantina, you and Jyn find the local docking bay. You count all the way to bay 94. You stop at the Baleen-class heavy freighter. The door is open. 

“This is the ship taking us?” Jyn looks at the massive ship. 

“Yep.”

You begin to enter with Jyn next to you. You see Chewy the Wookie standing at the door. Once you cross inside, he closes the door. He escorts you two toward the cockpit. There you see Han sitting in the pilot see flipping switches and pressing buttons. He turns around and looks at you both.

“Credits?” He holds out his hand. Jyn reaches into her pocket and pulls out the proof of their credits. She holds it close to her chest and looks to you to make sure this is a good thing to do. You nod your head to encourage her. She hands it over to the pilot who smiles and tucks into one of his own pockets. 

“Chewy, find them a room to sleep in,” Han directs his co-pilot. The wookie give s tiny yell and begins to walk. You and Jyn follow him to a barrack not far from the cockpit. There is a set of bunkbeds against the wall.

“Thank you,” You are sure to express your gratitude to him. He makes a noise and leaves. Jyn climbs onto the top bunk. 

“So, who are these guys?” Jyn finally asks. 

“Han Solo and Chewy,” You answer. 

“The Han Solo?” Jyn’s eyes grow wide. 

“Yep.”

“Wow. How lucky are we?” 

“Very.” 

“Well, I’m beat. I’m going to sleep.” Jyn takes off her boots and drops them to the floor by you. She starts to get under the blanket. 

“You go ahead. I’m going to start working on building this lightsaber,” You tap your box. 

“Well, goodnight,” Jyn turns her back so the light won’t affect her much. 

“Goodnight,” You put your box on the bed. You get on your knees so you can be closer to the level of your pieces. You begin your work on your future weapon. 

* * *

Commander Ren enters the control room on Starkiller Base. As it has become night, there are less in the room. Still the occupants try not to attract their leader’s attention. 

“Get me in contact with General Nixlar on Dantooine,” Commander Ren order to no one in particular. A lower officer quickly gets connected to the Dantooine base. The hologram of General Nixlar appears. Unlike the confident man, Kylo had talked to earlier in the day, this one sweats nervously. 

“General Nixlar, I would like to speak with my apprentice,” Kylo gets right to the point. 

“Um, sir, well, um” he cannot make a clear thought or sentence. This is displeasing. 

“What is wrong, General Nixlar?” Kylo asks. 

“Um, it appears that your apprentice has not returned from her excursion off base.”

“She has not?” Kylo is surprised. 

“No, sir.”

“Where is FN-1226?” Kylo decides he will talk with his apprentice’s friend and trooper companion.

“She went with your apprentice,” He pulls at his collar nervously. Kylo’s fist tightens. 

“Neither have returned?”

“No, sir.”

“Have you sent anyone to look for them?”

“I-I did.”

“I do not like to be kept in suspense, General. Where is my apprentice?” Kylo’s body begins to radiate frustration. 

“None of our scouts can find them. We found FN-1226’s uniform in a field and found the speeders we gave them in the possession Lasats that claimed to have purchased them from some women. We have yet to locate them though.”

Kylo’s whole body stiffens. His breath is deep but sharp. Had his mask been off all would have seen him seething in anger. 

“I will be at Dantooine soon, General.” Kylo turns away and stops out of the room. The General grimaces at the news but disappears. In the hallway Kylo draws his lightsaber and ignites it. He lets a yell as he begins to swing it into the walls creating terrible gashes. Breathing heavily. he turns off his lightsaber and attaches it back to his hip. 

He storms down the hall till he reaches Captain Phasma’s room. She opens at his knock. 

“Sir?”

“Form a squad with your best trackers. We are leaving for Dantooine tonight,” He gives the order. 

“Yes, sir,” She salutes. Kylo walks away. He curses your name under his breath. 

“You’re going to regret leaving me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So going forward FN-1226 will be often referred to as Jyn and Y/N has the new alias of Meia. Sorry to keep adding more alternative names to Y/N. haha


	32. Aboard the Eravanna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Thank you all for over 500 kudos! I'm just in awe. Thank you all for the great comments too! It's so encouraging to receive feedback and suggestions. Please, keep them coming! I really do appreciate them all.  
> Now, please, enjoy this chapter.

Chapter 32

General Nixlar shakes seeing Commander Ren’s command shuttle dock in their bay. He and all under his control raise their arms and hands in a salute as the ramp lowers to allow the Commander to exit his ship. Kylo Ren is far taller and more terrifying than he appeared in his hologram. 

“Commander Ren, welcome to-” General Nixlar begins to greet. 

“Where are the people who bought the speeders?” Kylo cuts off the General. 

“They-uh-they’re here,” General Nixlars takes a second to process then snaps his fingers. Two troopers bring forth the Lasats who made the mistake of purchases the speeders.

They tremble at the sight of the First Order commander. Their pointed ears drop in their fear.   
Kylo holds out his hand toward the two Lasats. While other simply watch two Lasats grimacing in pain and Commander Ren just standing there with his hand out, Kylo can see into their minds. He watches as the Lasats approach two women with First Order Speeders. Kylo watches as FN-1226 speaks. She is confident and bargains a good deal from the males. Kylo’s attention goes to you in the vision. He watches as you stay silent during the transaction. You and FN-1226 left the males and began to walk away. The younger one watched you two walk further into the town.

Kylo lowers his hand and the Lasats drop to their knees and grasping their aching heads. Kylo turns on his heel and starts back toward his ship. 

“Captain Phasma, we are going to Dantoo Town,” Kylo informs this mission’s number two. 

“Yes, Sir,” She nods and begins loading the troopers back onto the ship. 

“I’d be more than happy to escort you th-” General Nixlar begins to offer.

“There is no need. Unless my apprentice returns here, do not contact me,” Kylo cuts off the General and boards the ship. 

The command shuttle zips across the land toward Dantoo Town. Having landed, Kylo is the first off the ship. He is followed very closely by the troopers and Captain Phasma. He orders for them to split up and search for FN-1226 and Sly. He himself joins the search. 

Kylo relies on the force to get a sense of where his apprentice could be. He feels a tug drawing him toward a cantina. He takes two troopers with him. Entering, the lively music dies. Almost all the patrons and workers stop and stare at the new guests. 

“Has anyone seen these two women?” Kylo holds out a device that projects an image of FN-1226 and Sly. The pictures are rather old as they from when both were newer troopers. Still the likeness is enough. The cantina gatherers shake their heads, look away, or look up in the air. No one wants to admit to seeing such people for fear they may be brought to the First Order for punishment. 

“Has anyone seen these two women?” Kylo walks further inside, his frustration growing. 

“Eyyyy. I sssaw that bitch,” A rotund man barely stands up at the bar. His finger wags as he tries to point at Sly. 

“When and where?” Kylo comes up close to the drunk. 

“Here. Not long ago. She wouldn’t let me buyyy er a dr-dr-drink,” he has a problem talking but then he smirks. 

“What was she doing here? Where did she go?” Kylo is not swayed by the man’s lack of ability to speak properly. 

“I don’t know. But sheeee wanted some Glorkin in er,” Glorkin starts to laugh and thrusts his hips. Glorkin is stopped when he is slammed down onto the bar by his neck. Kylo stands with his hand raised. Everyone watches as Kylo chokes the life out of him. He lets the body drop once Glorkin is dead. 

“Someone tell me where these women are or suffer the same fate as this lying pig?” Kylo looks at the people around him.

“I saw them. They left hours ago,” The bartender finally speaks up. 

“Do you know where they went?” Kylo approaches the Mon Calamari. 

“I’m not sure where they went. All I know if that they were looking for a ship and pilot to get them off Dantooine tonight and they left with a Wookiee,” The bartender is free with the information. 

  
“A Wookiee?” Kylo repeats the word. 

“Yes. A wookiee and some old guy.”

“What were their names?”

“I don’t know. They only had a drink before they rescued one of the women from Glorkin’s blaster. The women left with them then. I don’t know where to though.” The bartender holds nothing back.

“Does anyone know about the Wookiee and the old man?” Kylo addresses the room. There is only silence. 

“I know where they were docking,” A small Anzellan walks on the bar. 

“Where?” Kylo looks down at the tiny creature. 

“Bay 94. That’s all I know,” The Anzellan responds. 

“No one leaves this place till I verify this,” Kylo tells his troopers loud enough so all hear before storming out of the cantina.

Kylo finds the docking bay. Bay 94 is empty. It takes no threatening at all to get the docking bay attendant to give away the name on the registrar. 

“What is the name?” Kylo asks. 

“It’s…” The attendant pauses and frowns. 

“What is it?” Kylo rips the list away from the attendant’s hands. His eyes scroll to the name at Docking Bay 94. 

“Where is the name?” Kylo snarls. 

“I-I don’t know. I just got on shift. I-I don’t know,” The attendant cowers fearfully. 

“Get me who was on shift.”

* * *

  
“Yes. Yes,” You smile holding up your now fully constructed lightsaber hilt. It looks just as you had drawn. It’s perfectly identical. You intend to jump up having finished but your knees give way having been on them for hours as you built your hilt. You fall onto the bed. You turn onto your back and massage your knees till you feel able to walk. It takes a minute but you are able stand and walk. Your thumb itches to push up the bar that will turn on your lightsaber but a stroke of fear comes over you.

If you did this wrong then the lightsaber could explode. You would hate to accidentally kill Jyn. You step outside of the room into the hallway. You see no one about. You take a breath and push.

“Vvvvmmmmmmm” The light has emerged from the hilt. It hums lightly. It vibrates in your hand though not as much as Kylo’s has. You beam staring at the color. It is the same as you saw in that vision. You swing it about by yourself. You cannot believe that you did it. You made a lightsaber. 

“I got to show Jyn!” you start to go back to your room with it still lit. You grab the door and open it. Jyn still sleeps as she should. You turn off your lightsaber. You should let her sleep. You can always show her it in the morning. You put the lightsaber in your box before sitting on the bed. You look at your pillow.

You should sleep as well. So much has happened today. You told Ben you loved him, got your heart broken, got sick several times, ran away with Jyn, fought kinrath for some kyber crystals, met Ben’s father and are on a ship with him, and now you’ve built a lightsaber. You really should sleep. 

You get on the bed and lay your head on the pillow. You close your eyes and hope sleep will claim you. Your body begins to slip away. Your mind grows dark and blank. Sleep comes but in it there is no peace. 

You see Kylo mask and all. He stands in a hovel of a home. Troopers are with him including Captain Phasma. A blue Ardennian male stands surrounded by the group. His four arms are bound behind him. His large brown eyes are on Kylo. 

“Who was docked in bay 94?” Kylo asks. Your heart drops realizing bay 94 is the one Han was docked in. 

“I don’t know. They game. They just gave me credits,” he claims. 

“You’re lying.” Kylo kneels down and gets in the face of the Ardennian.

“I’m not. I don’t know their names.” He insists. 

Kylo holds out his hand. The large brown eyes of the Ardennian close as he bares his teeth in agony. You can almost feel the pain as Kylo searches his mind. 

“You say you don’t know their name yet you felt the need to send them a communication about us coming to look for them.” Kylo speaks so calmly. It makes the hairs on your neck stand. 

“I-I-I didn’t!” The Ardennian obviously lies. You know this because Kylo is reading his mind. 

“You did. Tell me the name, now,” Kylo curls his fingers. 

“Vykk Drago!”

Vykk Drago? That’s not right. You think knowing it is really Han Solo. Did Han give an alias to the docking company? 

Kylo straightens up having been given a name. He turns his back. He turns his head as if he were looking straight at you. 

“Kill him.”

You shudder at the order given. As the blasters fire, you sit up sweating in the bed. You look around you and find yourself in the bottom bunk. You fill your stomach raging inside you. You get out of the bed holding your stomach. In the darkness, you fumble about till you find the button to open the door. 

You practically fall out. You grope the wall as you try to find the bathroom. Why can’t you find the damn bathroom?

“You okay?” You hear someone ask. You look to your side and see Han Solo walking around. You wish he didn’t see you like this.

“Bathroom?” You ask though you won’t understand his words. He points to a door. 

“Thank you,” You nod your head to him then run into the bathroom. You make no effort to close the door behind you. It feels like your guts are bursting out of your mouth. You grip the toilet seat in hopes of some stability. 

You take a breath and sit back on the floor. You let go of the toilet and rest your head against the wall behind you. You make yourself get up and wash your hands and face.

You walk out into the hall. You want to sleep but fear of seeing Kylo again keeps you awake now. 

“You okay, kid?” Han is still out in the hall as well.

“Yes, I…I get motion sickness pretty easily,” You are not entirely lying. Although you believe your vomiting is more due to stress and anxiety than fly in a ship. 

“That’s unfortunate,” he comments. 

“It is,” You agree. 

“You should have a drink,” He starts to walk. 

“I don’t drink alcohol, Mr. Solo,” You start walk behind him. 

“Call me Han,” He gives his name preference, “And that wouldn’t be good for your stomach right now. I have some other stuff.”

You follow him to a room. You assume it the kitchen and eating area as there is a table with chair, a refrigeration device, a cooking top and drink dispensing machine. He grabs a clay cup and goes to the drink machine. He presses a button then pulls a lever. Holding the cup beneath the tube where the drinks are supposed to pour from, you see a hot liquid fill the cup. He hands it to you once it is full. 

“Here.”

“Thank you, Mr. Solo,” You take the warm cup. 

“Han,” He corrects you. 

“Thank you, Han,” You blow on the steaming beverage. You take a sip. Your eyes light up at the familiar taste. 

“Is this Gatalentan tea?” You need confirmation. 

“Yes,” He grabs a cup and begins to pour some for himself. “You like it too?”

“Oh, yes. I like it very much,” You take another sip. 

‘You taste better than Gatalentan tea.’ You hear Ben’s voice in your mind. You flush recalling when and why he said that. 

“So, you know my name but I have yet to know yours,” Han starts walking. You keep to his side as you assume he wants you to since he is still talking to you. Of course, he asks when your mouth has tea in it. 

“Meia,” You answer though your voice is a little strained from forcing down the tea that was in your mouth. Han pauses. His hazel eyes soften. 

“Did you say Leia?” He asks for clarification. 

“No. I said _M_ eia. Meia Naberrie,” You give the alias. 

“Oh. Sorry. Old ears,” He points to his ears. 

“That’s okay. I understand. Those names do sound similar,” You don’t want him to feel bad for the incorrect name. 

“And what is your friend’s name?

“She’s my sister, Jyn.”

Han nods his name registering the name. He walks to the cockpit where the Wookiee sits flying the ship. 

“Well, you know I am Han and this is Chewbacca,” Han pats the Wookie’s shoulder. Chewbacca makes a little noise as if to greet you. 

“Chewie, this is Meia Naberrie,” Han makes the introduction. Chewie looks back at you and makes a little noise as if to say hello. He then stands up. 

“Go ahead and get some rest,” Han nods taking the head pilot seat. Chewie stands and awkwardly passes you. You look around the room not sure of where to go. 

“You can sit there,” Han points to the co-pilot seat. You take it and sip your tea. The warmth is calming. You are a bit uncomfortable as things are silent between you and legendary figure. You don’t know what to say or do. 

Your eyes stay focused on the older pilot. You see so many similarities between him and his son. There is the cupid’s bow they share on their upper lip then the full lower lip, the strong chin, the proportional forehead, and some parts of the nose. You wonder if this is what Ben will look like when he is older. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you’re a bit too young for me.” Han turns his face catching your staring. You blush and look away from him. You did not intend to be caught staring. His use of the word ‘sweetheart’ also takes you aback as well. It is strange to hear another man call you that. 

“I’m sorry for staring. You just… remind me of someone,” You bring your tea back to your lips. 

“Someone good, I hope.”

You nod though you wouldn’t exactly describe your lover as ‘someone good’. 

“So, who and your sister on the run from?” Han surprises you with the question. 

“What? Why would you ask that?”

“You sure wanted to get off Dantooine fast. You must be running from someone,” He leans back into his chair. 

Your son. It is the answer that teases your lips but you cannot say that. 

“Do you two owe someone money?” He begins to guess. 

“No.” You shake your head. 

“Did you kill someone?” 

“Why would you think I killed someone?” You are appalled at the assumption. 

“Isn’t that blood on your clothes?” He points to the red residue you forgot was on your clothes. 

“No. It’s smashed Kinrath egg,” You answer.

“Kinrath? What the hell were you doing in a Kinrath egg nest?”

“I was searching for kyber crystals.”

“Kyber crystals?”

“Yes, the ones on Dantooine- the Dantari crystals- are especially rare,” You recall from your reading about them.

“Yes, and nearly impossible to attain.”

“Yes, _nearly_.”

“You got some?” His eyes grow surprised. 

“Yes, but that should not change the deal we’ve made,” You are sure to have him know there will be no change in price. He nods in agreement. 

“If you want to sell them for the highest price, I know a guy who would be willing to give you fifty-thousand credits a piece for them if they are a good size,” He informs. 

“Fifty-thousand a piece?” You’ve never had that much in your life. If you sell the other three then you’d have a hundred and fifty thousand credits. You and Jyn would be able to live quite well on that in Naboo. 

“Where is this friend of yours?” You inquire. 

“He’s not my friend, I just know him,” Han responds. 

“But where is he?” You still ask. 

“Cantonica. But that’s not on the way to Naboo,” Han makes you remember the geography of the galaxy. You purse your lips. Naboo is the goal so Jyn can be with the real Naberries and be safe. But if you go to Cantonica then you get the credits that can sustain Jyn on Naboo.

“Would you be able to swing by Cantonica and then continue on to Naboo?” You ask. 

“Well, that’s not what you’ve paid me to do,” He leans back and drinks more of his tea. You sigh knowing he is trying to shake you down for more money. 

“You’re absolutely sure this guy will pay what you say?” You have to know he is certain. 

“Yes.” Han nods. 

“I will give you four thousand credits after sale if you take us to him first then to Naboo,” You offer the deal and your hand. He grins. 

“Deal,” He shakes your hand. You drink more of the tea. You savor the flavor and look out to the stars. Surely, Jyn won’t mind the detour. 

A beeping noise draws your and Han’s attention. He presses a flashing button. A four-armed, blue skinned, brown eyed Ardennian pops up. You begin to sweat recognizes him.

How is he alive? You just saw him get shot. 

“Crio,” Han addresses the Ardennian. 

“Vykk,” Crio calls Han by the alias. “You better drop that cargo fast. The First Order is onto you.”

“What?” Han’s thick gray brows dip. 

“The First Order is lurking around the docking bay. There was even a Commander with them.” You know he speaks of Kylo.

“I can’t drop the shipment, Crio. This one will get me the money to pay back the Guavian Death Gang,” Han tries to explain. 

“I know, man, but if the First Order catches you, you’re dead,” Crio crosses one pair of his arms. 

“I won’t get caught then,” Han decides. 

“Good luck, Vykk. I’ll do my best to keep low as well so that-”

“Open this door!” Someone is banging on the door behind Crio. His eyes widen and go back toward it. Before he can make a decision of what to do, the door blasts open. Troopers enter. You know exactly who they are. You begin trembling. You know what is going to happen. 

“Crio!” Han calls out. Crio hits a button and ends the communication. Han shakes his head. You cannot look at him. You feel your stomach begin to gurgle. You suppress your anxiety vomit. 

“Don’t worry, kid, Crio has gotten out of worse scraps than this,” Han puts his hand on your shoulder having noticed your reaction. You look to him and shake your head. 

“No. He won’t get out of this one,” You tell him gravely. Han removes his hand from your shoulder. His eyes stay on you rather bewildered at your conviction over this matter. 

“It would be best if you do whatever you can to avoid detection and confrontation with the First Order even if means dumping your cargo,” You advise. 

“They won’t catch me.”

“I hope not. I think I will go try to sleep. Thank you for the tea and I will inform my sister of the change in destination,” you stand up. He nods his head and you leave the cockpit. You grip the cup in your hand felling yourself shaking. 

Kylo can’t find this ship. He is already upset. You could see that in your dream that you know now was a vision. If he finds this ship with you on it with his father who knows how he will react. Will he kill you? His father? Jyn? Chewbacca? You can’t let that happen.

Killing his father would devastate him the same for Chewie. You recall the feelings of love you felt when you were in his head. He loved them so much. To kill either or both would break him. You can’t let him do that to himself. You can’t let him hurt more than he already is. 

You can’t let him kill Jyn either. You would not be able to live with yourself if eh killed her especially since she began to have doubts and suggested not running away. If you had given into her doubts you both would not be in the situation. You must protect her. You must protect this ship from him. 

You know you cannot let Kylo find you till you are alone and more powerful. This will be the best way to protect these people and honestly, yourself. 

You return to your room. You get in the bed and finally go to sleep. A dreamless one welcomes you.

* * *

When you woke this morning, you felt your strength renewed in your body. You even felt rested. The only pains in your stomach were from hunger. Jyn quickly satisfied that need by giving you some of the rations from her utility belt. In exchange for the food you inform her of the deal you’ve made with the ship’s captain.

“Cantonica! That’s nowhere near Naboo!” Jyn exclaims. 

“I know but by going there first, we will get the money we need to sustain ourselves in Naboo,” You try to explain. 

“Can’t we find a buyer on Naboo? That way we won’t have to detour?”

“Are you sure there is a person on Naboo who will buy them for the same price?”

“We could probably find one.”

“But we might not. This guy Han knows is a sure thing.”

“How do you know we can trust this Han man? He is a smuggler after all,” Jyn crosses her arms. She is right. Why should two random passengers trust a smuggler to help find the best deal for themselves?

“Do you want me to mind trick him into telling me the truth?” You offer. 

“You can do that?” Jyn’s arm drop in surprise.

“Kind of…”

“Then do it. I don’t want to go to Cantonica unless I know for sure this isn’t some scam he has set up.”

You swallow hard but nod. You are not sure how you’re going to be able to convince Han’s mind without him or Chewbacca noticing. 

“Okay, I’ll do it.”

“Good. Go now. The sooner we know, the better,” Jyn starts gently pushing you toward the door. You leave the room and start toward the cockpit. You dread having to attempt to mind trick him. 

You see Han in the pilot’s seat and Chewbacca is in the co-pilot seat. It will be more difficult with the Wookiee there. He could rip off your arm without breaking a sweat if he thought you threatening Han. You need to get Han alone.

“Good morning,” You greet the men.

“Morning,” Han just raises his hand but does not turn around. Chewbacca looks back at you and makes a gruttal noise that you hope is a ‘good morning’. 

“Han, could I…speak with you privately?” You ask softly. Han looks over to Chewie then back at you perplexed. 

“Sure, kid. Take control, Chewie,” Han gets up. He walks back out of the cockpit with you. 

“What is it?” He sighs crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. 

“That buyer you told me about…um…what’s his name?” You ask. 

“Oh, it’s Urkum Blavo,” He answer. 

“Tell me the truth about your relationship with him,” You wave your hand over his face.

You stare into his eyes as you try to make him speak the truth. His eyes are big, his eyebrows pointed and his mouth open in confusion. 

“What the hell are you doing?” He grabs your wrist. You blush. Looks like he’s not easily tricked just like Ben wasn’t. You have to make up a cover. 

“I’m sorry. Sometimes my arm spasms and does that,” You pull your wrist out of his grip. He shakes his head and blinks his eyes. 

“That’s weird, kid. You need to a see a doctor about that.”

“I do. Sorry, please, keep telling me about this Urkum Blavo,” You try to get back to the original topic. 

“Oh, well, he-” Han begins again. 

“Rawwwggr,” You both hear Chewie. Han runs back into the cockpit. You are right behind him. Han takes the pilot seat immediately. You look out the large window and begin to pale. 

“How did they find us, Chewie?” Han doesn’t look at his copilot but begins pressing different buttons. Chewie gives some answer but you obviously don’t understand anything he says. Your eyes stay focused on the ship that has appeared outside the window. You recognize the black ship. The symbol on it is that of the First Order. There is a beeping noise and a red light that flashes in the ship like last night when Crio was contacting Han. Han’s, Chewie’s and your eyes all go to the light. You don’t want them to answer. You don’t want Kylo to pop up or for Kylo to see all of you. 

“Disable the visual communication,” Han looks to Chewie. The copilot nods and presses some buttons. Han presses the button allowing him to answer the call. Every muscle in your body tightens as you wait for Kylo’s filtered voice to speak. 

“This is Captain Phasma of the First Order. To whom am I speaking?” The voice gives away the identity of the speaker. There is some relief knowing it is not Kylo but still you cannot relax knowing it is your former captain. 

“Hello, Captain Phasma, this is Jav Kabadi,” Han puts on a strange twang in his voice and gives another alias. 

“Jav Kabadi, why isn’t your visual communications enable now?” She asks. 

“Oh, the darn thing has been on the fritz for ages now. I can only get vocal communications,” Han lies through his teeth. 

“I see. Then I will need to send some of my troopers on board to inspect your ship,” Phasma makes your stomach drop. 

“Why do you need to do that? I’m just a freighter,” Jav frowns. 

“If you are just a freighter then you’ll have nothing to hide, Jav Kabadi,” Phasma retorts. Han mouths a curse. 

“Well, send your boys then,” He encourages Phasma. 

“I will. Prepare to be boarded,” Phasma ends the call. You see a little pod flying toward the Eravanna. 

“Shit. Shit. Shit,” Han stands up. “How am I going to hide all of the cargo? It’s too late to drop it now.”

Chewie speaks but Han does not calm down. You know that the Order is not looking for the smuggler or his goods. They are looking for you and Jyn. You cannot let them find you and Jyn but you can’t let Han and Chewie be caught either. You have to do something. 

“You should probably go hide with your sister while I deal with these troopers,” Han gently tries to move you out of his way. 

“No. I’ll go with you,” You don’t move. 

“Trust me, it’ll be safer for you if you hide.”

“I’m coming with you,” You insist. Han rolls his eyes. 

“Fine.”

“You walk with Han a good distance to the spot where the pod should board the ship. At the hall before the boarding area, Han stops. He pulls out his blaster and hands it to you. 

“Do you know how to shoot one of these?” He asks. 

“Yes.”

“Stay here and if you see the Troopers getting ready to shoot me then you will need to shoot them. That will signal Chewie to drop the cargo and go into hyperspeed. Got it?”

“Yes.”

Han walks to the door. The red light at the door turns green signaling that the pod as successfully attached and the troopers are ready to enter. You swallow hoping Phasma or Kylo wont’ be with them. 

Han presses the button allowing the door to open. He steps back and lets four troopers enter. You recognize them: Nines, Zeroes, Slip and Eight-Seven. 

“Hello,” Han greets them. 

“To save time, tell us, are you boarding any fugitives?” Nines asks. 

“Fugitives?” Han puts his accents back on. 

“We are looking for these two women,” Zeroes hold out a hologram projector. The images of you and Jyn pop up. Now your secret is out. 

“One is a runaway trooper and the other is the apprentice of our commander. If they are on board and you return them, you will be rewarded,” Nines says. 

Your reward will be a hole in the head. You think knowing the ways of Nines. 

“I’ve never seen these women before in my life,” Han lies for you not giving into Nines. 

“Then we will need to search this entire ship to make sure you are not lying,” Nines takes a step forward. 

“Meia, why have we stopped moving?” Your heart jumps seeing Jyn walking in plain view toward you. 

“There is FN-1226!” Zeroes points at Jyn who realizes her mistake. You see all of your former comrades raise their blasters ready to shoot. Han and Jyn lift their arms into the air. You know you could fire a shot but Han and Jyn will get killed. You don’t care much about killing Nines or Zeroes, but you don’t want to hurt Slip or Eight-Seven. 

“Where is Sly?” Zeroes asks. 

“She’s not here!” Jyn attempts to protect you. 

“Tell us where she is, FN-1226, or I will shoot you. You’re not as important as she is to the commander,” Nines aims at Jyn. 

“I’m right, here,” You step out but leave Han’s blaster behind the wall. You put your hands in the air. 

“Very good. You two will come with us. Cuff them, Slip,” Nines orders Slip. He takes a step up toward Jyn. 

“Wait a minute,” You step closer to the group. You see Nines turn his gun toward you. You have to get rid of these guys without hurting them or having Phasma catch you. 

“What is it, Sly?” Nines addresses you. 

“We are not the women you are looking for. This ship is clear. There are no fugitives or illegals goods. There is just an old pilot and his little crew,” You speak confidently, clearly and commandingly. You see the troopers stand still but their holds on their blasters relax. Then they lower their weapons.

“These aren’t the women we are looking for,” You hear Eight-Seven repeat the beginning of your statements. 

“This ship is clear,” Slip adds. 

“There are no fugitives or illegal goods,” It is Zeroes’ turn.

“There is just an old pilot and his little crew,” Nines chimes in as well. You know the mind trick had worker. 

“You guys need to get going now and tell this to Captain Phasma,” You waves your hand again. 

“Hey, we need to get going,” Zeroes elbows Nines. 

“Yeah, and we need to tell Captain Phasma all this,” Nines agrees. The troopers turn and leave. With the light turned red signaling their departure, you all drop your arms and sigh in relief. 

“That was so close!” Jyn hugs you. Han looks are you rather knowingly. 

“I knew you two were on the run from something,” He crosses his arms. 

“We are just wanting to find a life for ourselves outside of the First Order,” Jyn speaks up. 

“I understand that, but you have put us all I great danger,” He is fuming. He looks so much like Kylo like this. 

“I’m sorry but this should not affect our deal especially since I just got the First Order off our asses,” You make sure he understands that nothing should change. 

“Yes, I saw your little Jedi Mind Trick. That’s what you were trying to do to me earlier, wasn’t it? Arm spasm my ass,” He brings up the incident from not long ago. 

“I just wanted to make sure we could trust you and that you aren’t going to scam us or anything,” You defend your actions. Han exhales harshly and shakes his head. 

“I don’t want a wanted First Order deserter and some Jedi-wannabe on my ship putting my and Chewie’s lives in danger. I’ll put you on a pod to a nearby planet. You can get some other chump to fly you to Naboo.” He start to walk away. You grab his arm. He looks at you shocked and angered by your audacity to touch him. 

“You will do no such thing. We have paid you for travel and have promised even more compensation after the sell of my kyber crystals. I’m sorry for putting you two in danger but you were already in danger for smuggling. I have been able to get rid of you being a suspect in anything for now. And I’m sorry for trying to do a mind trick on you but I will not do it again. I promise. So, you will keep our deal. You are not going to abandon us.” You lock your eyes with his. 

He pulls his arm out of your hold.

“Fine. But if the First Order comes back, I’m going to let them have you.”

“If you give me up to them then I’ll let them have you too.” You are not afraid to threaten the older man. 

Han narrows his eyes at you. You don’t blink or look away.

“Fine. Fine. Fine,” He is the first to break the eye contact. Han storms away back to the cockpit you assume. 

“Do you think the First Order will come back for us?” Jyn asks you.

“Not as long as we are on this ship. And with the report I made those guys give, we should only have smooth sailing ahead.” You smile gently to your friend. 

“I hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going forward there will probably be less smut for a while. I apologize as I know we all enjoy it but it will return to the story when the time is right. :)


	33. The Boarding of the Red Star Ring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thanks again for the kudos and comments! Please, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 33

You do your best to keep your distance from the captain of the Eravanna. Jyn happily keeps you company. You proudly show her your lightsaber in the privacy of the room you two share. She stares at in amazement. 

“I didn’t know it came in other colors,” Jyn remarks staring at the non-red blade. 

“Apparently they can come in almost any color. I didn’t choose this color but I really like it,” You smile.

“So, you just use it like a sword?”

“Yes. But it’s a little deadlier than a regular sword. It cuts a lot cleaner too,” You stare at the light. 

“Can I hold it?” Jyn asks quietly. 

“Sure. Just be careful,” You hand it over to her. She holds it tightly and grins as she holds it. 

“It’s vibrating,” She giggles at the feeling. 

“Yes. It does that.”

“Can I swing it around?” 

“Go crazy,” You step back. She does as well so she will not accidentally hit you. She cautiously moves the weapon about but laughs as she does. You do as well. There is just something so enjoyable about trying out a new weapon. 

“Maybe I should get one of these,” Jyn remarks swinging it and stopping it short of hitting the wall. She swings it back quickly. 

“Shit!” She gasps her hand letting go of the still ignited lightsaber. It flies and slices the bunkbed’s posts before shutting off. The crash of the bed is not a subtle sound. Jyn and you cringe at the damage down.

“Are you okay?” You ask Jyn. 

“Yeah…” She walks over and picks up your lightsaber and hands it back to you, “Maybe I shouldn’t use that anymore.”

“Maybe not.”

The ship stalls causing you and Jyn to both fall to the floor. You both get up as quickly as possible. 

“What was that?” Jyn starts for the door. You go with her into the hall and begin to look for your pilots. Before you can reach the cockpit, Han and Chewie pass. 

“What’s going on?” You ask tailing the men. Chewie begins making several noises. You have no idea what he is saying of course.

“Really?” Jyn gasps. 

“You understand him?” You look to Jyn surprised.

“You didn’t?” Jyn raises an eyebrow. 

“What did he say?” 

“The Red Star Ring has trapped the ship and are trying to board,” Jyn finally informs you of the situation.

“How many gangs do you owe?” You address Han. He looks back at you not pleased with the question. Chewie makes a noise earning a laugh from Jyn and glare from Han. 

“Get yourself ready, Chewie,” Han pushes his comrade as they turn a corner. You and Jyn do not leave the men. Chewie grabs a crossbow and Han grabs another blaster from a secret compartment in the wall. 

“I assume you know how to use this,” Han tosses it to Jyn. 

“Yes,” She catches it. 

“I’ll try to talk down the leader but if I can’t be prepared to fight,” Han grabs another blaster from the compartment. He tosses it to you. You catch it. You look at the little gun then to the lightsaber still in your hand. Both will be good. 

“I can try to do a mind trick on them,” You offer. 

“They’re not as soft minded as troopers,” Han remarks. You and Jyn try not to be offended as former troopers yourselves. Han goes to the door as he had done when the First Order boarded. Chewie stays behind the wall along with you and Jyn. 

The door opens letting in ten bald, flat nosed, pink skinned Ongidae men walk with blaster rifles in their large hands. Their protruding grey eyes all focus on Han. 

“Toik,” Han gives a smile to the front and center man. 

“Aalos Noorg,” This Toik fellow calls Han. 

How many aliases does this man have? 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen-”

“I don’t want any small talk, Noorg. I want my money and I want it now,” Toik cuts off Han.

“I know, and I’ve got your money,” Han claims. 

“Then give it,” Toik holds out his massive hand. 

“I don’t have it with me. It’s in a bank,” Han continues. 

“A bank? “Toik’s upper lips curls up at the word. 

“Yes, it’s the safest place for money after all,” Han has turned into an advertisement. 

“I’m not going to a bank. Give me the money now or-” Toik raises his rifle as do the ten others, “We will take what we want from this ship including your head.”

“I guess I need to get your money then,” Han begins to turn. 

“No tricks, Noorg,” Toik nudges Han with his gun. 

“Of course,” Han starts walking toward the wall where you, Jyn and Chewie hide. Seeing Chewie regrip his crossbow, You and Jyn remove the safety from your blaster pistols. Han stops next to the wall and winks at Chewie. Chewie jumps out as Han spin pulling out his own gun. They begin firing. You and Jyn jump out as well and begin shooting. 

Three of the Ongidae fall dead leaking green blood all over the floor. The other seven disperse to take cover. Jyn and Chewie dip behind the wall from where you had come. You and Han go to a wall across from your original position. Shots keep on being fired from all who can. 

“Dammit,” You hear Han beside you. 

“What is it?” You fire and hit another Ongidae. 

“My blaster is jammed,” He hits his gun.

“Take mine,” You hand him the weapon. You duck back nearly being hit by a blast. 

“But-”

“I have this,” You lift up your lightsaber. Han stares at you cylindrical hilt but takes your pistol. You ignite your lightsaber making Han’s eyes bulge. You know that staying hiding like this will just delay this battle and may cause everyone to run out of blasts. This needs to end so you can go on from here.

“Agghhh!” Chewie cries out. You see he has been hit in the leg. Jyn holds his Wookiee and puts pressure on his leg to stop the bleeding. 

“Chewie!” Han calls out to his friend.

You know what you need to do, but you’ve never done it before. It must be done though. 

“Han, get to the cockpit,” You tell him. 

“I can’t get there,” He fires at the enemies again.

“I’ll cover you. Get there and once the ray drops get us the hell out of here,” You point toward the cockpit again. 

“How are you going to get the ray down?” He leans against the wall with you. 

“Does it matter? Get to the cockpit!” You yell at him as you run out into the crossfire. You have no time to fear the lasers being shot at and around you. You have no time to run away. You have no time to do anything but give yourself to the force and use it to defeat this attack. 

Your blade whips back and forth and spins. It deflects and absorbs the blasts. Seeing that you are covering him as you said you would, Han runs for the cock pit. Jyn shoots what little blasts she has left as she still tries to hold Chewie’s wound. Chewie also shoots his shots in hopes of helping you. 

You jump and roll and slash those who would kill you. You ignore their cries of pain when you do. You were taught to turn a deaf ear to such things when you were a child. Heads rolls and limbs fly. You find yourself with the last of the group. Toik, you remember his name. You cut off his hand that holds his gun. You point your saber to his face. 

“Tell your people to release this ship and I’ll let you go,” You order. 

“I don’t take orders from a little bitch like you,” he spits at you. You look at the saliva on your boots. 

“Tell them release this ship and I’ll let you go,” You order again presses the edge of your blade against his cheek. He screams as it burns his flesh. You pull your blade away. 

“Fine!” He gives up. With his still attached hand, he grabs the radio on his chest. He looks at you in disgust. You don’t care. He just needs to make the call. 

“Release the ship,” Toik gives the command. 

“Release it? Have you got the money?” The voice on the other end asks. 

“I said to release the ship!” Toik yells. 

“Okay. Okay.” The other voice chirps. 

It takes but a moment for you to fell the ship drop slightly having been released. And another moment passes before you feel the ship lurch as it goes into hyper speed. You grimace realizing in the movement, you have impaled Toik’s face. 

“I’m sorry,” You tell the corpse since you had no intention of killing him. You pull your lightsaber out of his head and turn it off. You are unsure to do with all of the bodies.

Then you get an idea. 

You walk to the portal where is pod should be. You use the force to move the corpses of Toik’s gang and Toik into the pod. You try to put them neatly as there is no reason to desecrate the dead bodies any further. As you look at the bodies you don’t exactly feel regret. You killed them to protect yourself and those around you. Still, Toik’s was an accident. 

“Oh!” You look at Toik’s belt. It is a rather good belt with a holster that looks like it could be perfect to hold your lightsaber. You take it off the corpse and try it on. You synch it up as you are smaller than the Ongidae. You put your lightsaber in the holster. You smile seeing it fits perfectly just as you thought. You look at the other bodies and notice some small purses on them. You figure they will not need them now that they are dead. You collect the small bounty. You step out of the pod and back into the portal door.   
You close the door and press the button to lock it. Pressing another button, you send the pod flying into space. 

“Are you okay?” You come back to Jyn and Chewie. 

“Hold his wound here so he won’t bleed out. I’ll go get the medical kit from my utility belt,” Jyn lets your hands replace hers. She hops up and runs to find her belt. You look at the Wookiee who whines under the pressure. 

“I’m sorry,” You say hoping you’re not hurting him but you don’t lessen the pressure as you Jyn told you to keep the pressure. He makes some noises but you still don’t understand what he says. Luckily, Jyn runs back. 

“I’m here. Now, now, Chewbacca, you’re a big guy. You can handle a little pressure,” Jyn ttalks to the Wookiee. He makes more noises as Jyn pulls out a vial pf rubbing alcohol, a needle, thread, ointment and gauze. She motions for you to moves your hands. She pushes up his fur to see the bleeding wound. 

“I’ll get you sewn right up,” Jyn thread the needle. Chewie begins to move as if to run from the needle. 

“Hold him!” Jyn tell you. You grab ahold of his leg but his upper bodies moves. She pours the alcohol on the wound making Chewie slam his fists into the ground. 

“If you struggle it will hurt more, Chewbacca.” Jyn warns but he still moves and growls. You put your hand on his chest but he smacks you away. Jyn presses her hand on the wound and holds the needle close to Chewie’s face he stops moving. 

“We are trying to help you. If you don’t calm down and hit my sister again, I will let you bleed out,” Jyn threatens. Chewie stops his movements and whines lightly. 

“Good. Now I’m going to sew you up,” Jyn lowers her needle. Chewie howls at the needle in his skin. 

“I know it hurts, but it’ll be okay. Wookiees like you are tough. You can handle a little needle. Wookiees can handle all types of weapons, right? Wookiees like you are brae and tough and recover quickly,” Jyn tries to encourage the rug-like creature. 

You sit and watch them not sure of what to say or do. 

“See, we’re all done,” Jyn smiles to Chewie having sewn and wrapped him up. Chewie looks at the bandage and hums. 

“You’re welcome,” Jyn gets up from the ground, “You can use me as your crutch.

Chewbacca grabs a hold of Jyn and she helps him up. He looms above her but his hand stays on her shoulder. You come to the other side of the Wookiee and offer your body as aid as well. The two of you help Chewie walk the hall till you reach the room where he sleeps. 

“Go tell Han that he’s okay. Chewbacca doesn’t want him to worry. I’ll stay here with him,” Jyn sends you off. 

“Okay,” You leave the room. You make your way easily to the cockpit. 

“How is Chewie?” Han asks immediately. 

“He’s fine. Jyn sewed him and is with him now as he rests in his room,” You relay the message.

“Good,” Han sighs in relief and turns back to looking at the white blur made from the stars. You stand not sure of what to say or do. 

“Take a seat,” Han points to the copilot seat like he did the night before. You take it. Sitting you suddenly realize how tired you are. You did just fight all of those Ongidae. 

“Thank you for your help with the Red Star Ring and the First Order,” He expresses his gratitude verbally. 

“Oh, you’re welcome,” You look over at the older man. 

“I guess having a Jedi on board isn’t such a bad a thing,” He starts to smile. 

“I’m not a Jedi,” you correct him.

“Oh, right. The Jedi would never work for the First Order.” Han recalls your former loyalty.

“I guess they would not,” You shrug not knowing much about the Jedis. 

“So, is the master you’ve run from Snoke?” Han surprises you with the inquiry. 

“No. I’m not important enough to be trained under him. But he did name me ‘Sly’ and give me a master to train me in the ways of the force,” You relay the minimal relationship you have to Snoke. 

“It’s a good thing you’ve left. Snoke will use you till he gets what he wants then he’ll destroy you,” Han is not shy with his thoughts on the Supreme Leader. 

“Do you know him?” You ask. 

“Not personally.” You know this is true yet untrue. He must know that it is Snoke that masters his son. 

“He is very…unsettling, but my master trusts him.”

“Your master is a fool then,” Han snaps.

You wonder if Han would say that if he knew who your master is. Han takes a breath allowing himself to calm down a little. 

“Like I said, it’s a good thing you left, kid. It is better to be one’s own master,” Han gives his opinion. You suppose he is right. It is better to do what you want and not have to constantly follow orders. But you did not mind following Ben’s for most of the time. 

“Is your sister force sensitive too?” Han wonders about Jyn. 

“No. She’s just a good trooper. And we’re not actually blood sisters…” You try to be more honest. 

“I understand. Chewie and I are the same.”

You don’t mind the comparison. Han presses a button and suddenly brings you all out of hyper speed. The action jerks you a little. The motion makes your stomach stir. You grab it wishing it wouldn’t escalate to anything more than just uncomfortableness. Your body betrays you. You get up. 

“You okay?” Han look over at you. 

“I got to throw up,” You don’t look back. You find the bathroom from last night. You reproduce most of the purple goop ration you shared with Jyn. Your stomach feels so much better. You wash your face and hands before heading back to Han. 

Han’s hazel eyes glance over at you as you sit in Chewie’s regular spot. You notice the look. 

“What?” You raise an eyebrow.

“You must have some really bad motion sickness,” Han comments. 

“Yeah. It’s kind of funny. I never had it before but ever since we ran away I have,” You sort of laugh at the change in your body. 

“Hmm.” Han turns his eyes back to the stars, “Maybe when we get to Cantonica, you and Chewie can go to the doctor. He can get professional treatment and you can get some medicine for your motion sickness.”

“Maybe I will. How far are we from Cantonica now?” You ask. 

“You see that?” He points forward. You stare at where his finger points. You see a faint brown sphere. 

“That’s Cantonica?”

“Yes. We’ll be there in a couple hours,” Han gives a timeline. 

“Great.” You cannot wait to get your feet on some solid ground. You’re excited to sell your crystals too then get off to Naboo. 

* * *

Kylo stands in the Dantooine base control center having been alerted that Captain Phasma has message for him. He is surrounded by nervous First Order officers who do not dare to look at the helmeted commander. 

“Connect us,” Kylo addressed the communication officer. The pimple faced boy obeys immediately. His pressing of a button sends up a holographic version of Captain Phasma before Kylo. She salutes him. 

“Have you found Sly?” Kylo asks instantly. 

“After extensive searching of vessels that exited Dantooine, we have been unable to locate Sly, FN-1226 or Vykk Draygo,” Captain Phasma delivers the less than desirable news. Kylo rips his lightsaber from his side and ignites it. The officers cower or run as he begins to destroy the furniture around him.

“Anything else, Captain?” Kylo breathes heavily having finished his tantrum. 

“No, sir,” Her voice is still calm. 

“Then return to Starkiller Base,” Kylo gives a new order. 

“Yes, sir,” Phasma nods and ends her call. 

Kylo turns and leaves the destroyed control center. His long legs carry him swiftly through the halls of the base till he reaches his command shuttle.

“You two get a different ship to take you back to Starkiller Base. Now, get out,” Kylo barks at the pilot who more than happily leave the vessel and the angry Kylo Ren. Kylo locks the ship and sits in the pilot’s seat. He starts the ship and flies it out of the docking bay. 

As he flies through space, he begins dialing for a connection to make a transmission. He waits rather patiently till the connection is made. A masked man pops up. His black helmet has a steel grid looking face cover and a thin window for his eyes to look out. 

“Kylo? What is it?” The man recognizes Kylo.

“Vicrul, I have a mission for you and the other knights.”

“Oh?” Vicrul tone does not exude enthusiasm in the slightest.

“I need you all to track down my apprentice and bring her to me alive.”

“You have an apprentice?” Vicrul has become curious.

“Yes. Sly is her name. I will send her image to you. She is traveling with a former trooper and some old man named Vykk Draygo. Bring Sly to me,” Kylo gives more detail. He slips a flash drive out of his pocket and into the machine. It transports the images of Sly and FN-1226 across space to the Vicrul. Vicrul looks at the images sent to him. 

“Which is Sly?” Vicrul asks. Kylo gives a description about you. 

“I see. And what are we to do with this other one and the man?” 

“I don’t care. Just bring me Sly. I will be waiting on Dathomir.” Kylo ends the call. If anyone is going to find Kylo’s apprentice, it will the Knights of Ren. 


	34. Canto Bight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thanks for the kudos and comments! I'm serious. They make me so happy and more eager to write. This chapter is a bit long but I hope you all enjoy it!

Chapter 34

The Eravanna enters Cantonica’s atmosphere bringing you closer to your much-desired solid ground. You grip the armrests of the copilot chair as Han lands the craft in one of the public docking bays. 

“So where are we on Cantonica?” You ask the pilot who stands up and stretches having succeeded in journey. 

“Canto Bight,” Han answers. Your jaw nearly drops at the name of the galaxy renowned casino city. You stand brimming with interest to see the city. 

“We need to you and Chewie to the doctor then I have to get this shipment to Koin Lox,” Han begins to give an itinerary. 

“You have business here?” Your hands go to your hips. “I thought this place was out of your way which is why I had to pay you extra to bring me.”

He bites his tongue then forces a sheepish smile. 

“Well, I do have business here but I was willing to postpone it to take you to Naboo but when you offered payment to come here first, I changed my mind,” Han tries to explain so you would not be upset. But it is too late. You’re a little pissed, but you don’t have time to dwell on it. You have too much to do. 

“We can discuss this later. I need to sell my crystals, you need to get rid of this cargo, and Chewie needs a doctor,” You remember the more important things. Han agrees and starts off to find his loyal friend. You check your belt. You makes sure your lightsaber is in the holster and the little bags you took from the dead gang are on your belt as well. 

You leave the cockpit and go to your and Jyn’s room. The bed is still in ruins but you are abel to find your box. You open it and take out the crystals. You lay them on the lower mattress that is half covered but the upper bunk. You take of the bags form your belt. You open each to inspect what you have actually attained. 

“Wow,” You stare at the contents. One pouch is filled with colorful, rare gems. Another is full of Aureicoins. Another with peggats and zemids. You have collected yourself a small fortune here. You put your kyber crystals inside your top as you fear someone might try to snatch one of the pouches when you put them back on your belt. You grab Jyn’s utility belt and take it with you into the hall. Out there you see Han and Jyn serving as Chewie’s crutches. 

“Get the doors,” Han gives you a job. You do easily and lower the ramp to allow you all to leave the ship. A tall cone faced droid walks up to the ramp as you all begins to exit. 

“Name?” It asks. You look to Han. 

“Jav Kabadi,” Han gives the same alias he gave Captain Phasma. 

“Ship name?” 

“Eravanna,” You answer for Han.

“Length of intended stay?”

You once again defer to Han. 

“Twenty-four hours,” Han answers. 

“One thousand credits,” The droid’s chest open and shoots out a tray mean to collect the credits. You switch spots with Han to support Chewie. 

“A thousand credits for one day? This is ridiculous,” Han mutters angrily to himself as he pulls out a card and slide it in the tray. The droid makes a “ching” noise then prints an orange sticker. The droid sticks it on the side of the ship then walks away. 

“There’s a medical office just outside the docking bay,” Han replaces you as Chewie’s support. You all move as quickly as one can while supporting a limping Wookiee. You open all doors and gates that impede the path to the doctor’s office. 

Entering the medical building, your group draws many eyes as not many have seen an injured Wookiee. You walk up to the counter where a human sits with purple bob. She files her gold nails with a steel emery board. Her eyes lift up to you when you put your hands on the counter. 

“Can I help you?” She does not stop doing her nails. 

“My friend has been shot in the leg. We gave him some treatment but he needs more,” You point back to Chewie. Her eyes follow your finger. Seeing the Wookiee, she drops her file. 

“Tuka. Chul. We need an extra-large stretcher!” The receptionist stands and calls. 

A purple Twi-Lek and a very hairy Bothan in matching green jumpsuits come out of the back with a stretcher. Seeing Chewie they pale but have him sit on the stretcher. 

“What happened?” The Bothan asks Chewie as they begin to move toward the door from where they came. Chewie speaks but the two nurses look at each other confused. 

“I’ll translate,” Han volunteers and goes with the nurses. 

“I’ll go too since I sewed him up,” Jyn sticks with the group. The five people disappear behind the door to go back for a medical examination. You still stand at the counter. 

“Anything else?” The receptionist still does not sit. 

“I would like to talk to a doctor as well,” You remember Han’s advice to get medical attention. 

“Are you shot too?” She looks you over. 

“No.”

The purple bob girl sighs with some relief and sits down. She looks to her computer and scrolls. 

“Is this an emergency sort of visit?”

“No, I’m just feeling unwell,” You shake your head.

“Then I can let you see…” She scrolls on the computer and stops, “Dr. Flor.” 

“Okay.”

“It will be two hundred credits to see him,” She holds out her hand to you. 

“Two hundred credits? It’s not free?” You are shocked. You’ve never had to pay for medical attention before. Then again, all First Order members received free treatment. The receptionist laughs at you. 

“You must be new. Nothing is free in Canto Bight,” She snickers. Your lips downturn at this. Jyn has the credits. You open the bag you know has the Aurei coins. You are able to count out enough of the Aurei coins to equal two hundred credits. The receptionist grows wide eyed as you put the coind in her hands. She greedily smiles as she counts them. You sense her desire to pocket the money but she puts them in a drawer. 

“Meet me at the door,” She stands up again and begins to walk. You meet her at the door which she opens. She takes you back down a silvery gray hall with many rooms with closed doors. She opens a door marked with the number ‘5’. 

“You can sit there. Dr. Flor will be here soon.” She points to a high position reclining chair. You take a seat after the woman leaves. As you sit on the white leather with a thin paper covering, you look about the room. You see drawn images of several different species and their insides. You suppose this is for medical reference. You see on the metal counter in the room with many different medical tools. You have no idea what many of them are. There are two large cabinets over the counter as well.

“Hellooooo,” The door opens. A furry, blue biped, Balti doctor enters dressed in white. He smiles showing off his sharp teeth and prominent, long tusks. 

“Hello,” You return the greeting. 

“I’m Dr. Flor. And you are?”

“Meia Naberrie,” You give the name.

“Well, Meia, what has brought you here today?” He asks approaching you. 

“Um, I’ve been having a vomiting problem. Ever since yesterday morning I keep getting randomly sick. I’m not sure why I keep doing it. I think it might be motion sickness or stress vomiting,” You inform him.

“Why would you think it is one of those two things?” He crosses his arms and tilts his head. 

“Well, I haven’t eaten anything strange in the last few days. I’ve been under a lot of stress and I have been flying so that’s why I think it is those things,” You expound.

“Hm. Have you been experiencing anything else? Dizziness, headache, increased saliva production?” He lists more symptoms. 

“Not really. I’ve just been feeling a bit fatigued but again I’ve been under a lot of stress and have been doing a lot physically.” 

“Have you gained any weight recently?” He asks not thinking the query rude. It isn’t considering he is a doctor. 

“Um, I guess a little. My breasts are a bit bigger. But I haven’t been very active the past three weeks.”

“Are your breasts feeling tender?” He looks at them. You look at them. An ache comes to them. How strange?

“Yes.”

“Hmm…” Dr. Flor rubs his chin.

“Have you been urinating more frequently?”

“No.”

“Are you bloated?

“No.”

“Are you sexually active?” He makes you blush at the inquiry. 

“I don’t see why that has anything to do with me vomiting.” You don’t want to answer. 

“I need to know,” Dr. Flor presses. 

“Yes,” You mumble. 

“When was your last blood cycle?”

“Last week.”

“Oh….well, how long was it?”

“Um…two days?”

“Two days? Was it heavy or was it light or spotting?” He is far too curious about your period. 

“It was very light almost spotting,” You answer uncomfortable with the questions. 

“Well, well, well,,,” Dr. Flor practically sings the words. His dark black eyes twinkles almost in delight.

“What’s wrong with me, Doctor?” You ask as he seems to know. 

“I need you to take a blood test,” He turns around and walks to the counter. He opens a cabinet and pull out syringe. You frown seeing the needle. 

“Is this going to cost me extra?” You ask making the doctor stop. 

“Yes, but not much more,” He decides to approach you. 

“How much more?” You leans back from him. 

“Just a hundred credits,” He smiles.

“Can’t you just prescribe me a tonic for my stomach pains and let me go without a blood test?” You stare at the costly needle. 

“This blood test will help me diagnose you and give you a proper prescription.” 

You sigh. 

“Fine.” You stop leaning away. He pushes up your sleeve and inserts the needle into your arm. Your eye twitches as eh draws your blood. He pulls out the needle and replaces it with a bandage form his pocket. He walks away and transfers your blood to a sealed vial. He picks up a pen. 

“How do you spell your name?” He asks.

“Mern. Esk. Isk. Aurek,”You spell your first name. 

“And your family name?”

You pause. You are not sure how Naberrie is supposed to be spelled. You have to guess. 

“Nern. Aurek. Besh. Esk. Resh. Resh. Isk. Esk,” you hope you spelled it right. He finishes writing and turns back to look at you.

“Very good. I will have this tested. I will have your results in a few hours. You are welcome to stay here or leave and return in a few hours. You can give your name and ask for me,” he smiles. 

“Will I have to pay to see you again?” you purse your lips. 

“No. But you will pay for the test then,” He brings up the test payment. 

“Okay. Then I guess I will return in a few hours.” You get off the table. 

“Very good. I’ll see you then,” Dr. Flor opens the door. You leave with him following. 

As you walk down the hall intending to leave you see Han. You wave at him and go to him. 

“How is Chewie?” You inquire after the injured party.

“He will be fine. Jyn’s sewing helped him a lot but it needs to be redone. They want to run some tests on him for a couple hours to make sure he is all well,” Han gives out the information. 

“I’m sure for a profit,” You mumble. 

“My thoughts exactly!” Han concurs, “But if it will help Chewie, I’ll pay.”

“I understand. Is Jyn still with him?” 

“Mhm. She insisted to stay and will translate for him. Chewie told me to go get our money,” Han takes a breath. 

“Let’s go do our business then. It may cost all four thousand credits to pay for his bills.”

“I hope not.” Han shakes his head. You both leave the hall then the doctor’s office. 

“Did you speak with a doctor?” Han asks remembering your health issue. 

“Oh, yes. He made me a do a blood test. He says he can’t give me a prescription till he gets the results in a few hours,” You roll your eyes. 

“A blood test? For motion sickness?” Han is surprised at the medical process. 

“I know. It’s weird. But I definitely need to sell my goods now since I may be diagnosed with a ten million credit disease,” Your sarcasm earns an amused ‘hmm’ from the older man. 

“Well, I’ll take you straight to Urkum Blavo. You’ll need your money for these tests,” Han takes a right down the road. 

“Thank you.” 

As you two walk the streets of the city, you are amazed by the beauty of it. Almost every building has carved stone entrances with a liquid metal art designs around them. Those inside the buildings where Avant Garde and obviously expensive clothing. Though your clothes were not Avant Garde, you could pass here with the some of the clothes Kylo gave you at Starkiller Base. Being dressed in this now blood stained jumpsuit, you look far subpar to the others on Canto Bight. You notice many less than fabulous dressed persons like yourself walking about. You nearly crash into a man with a stubbled beard and a heavy black jacket on. Han pulls you close and out of the collision course.

“Don’t get to close to anyone here. They’ll bump into you then the next thing you know you’re enslaved to clean up after Fathiers,” Han cautions. You nod heeding his words.

You keep an eye out for those who would try to pickpocket. You back toward the man who almost hit you. He does not look back at you but instead bumps into a man behind you. You watch him apologize and keep walking. The heavy jacket wearer then holds up a shining watch that had just been on the other and now oblivious man’s wrist. You are glad Han moved you. 

You turn your head forward but still enjoy the sights of the city. You peak at the various shops and their names. There are several with large windows displaying the most gorgeous dresses you have ever seen as well thousands of different shoes. There are shop with the most sleek and stylish speeders available as well.   
Han suddenly stops next to a food stall. You eye the food and feel your stomach gurgle in want of it. Han looks to you. 

“Want a meatlump?” He asks pointing to the food at the stall. 

“How much?” You are concerned of the cost. 

“My treat,” Han offers and turns back to the Green spotted Patitite selling the goods. Han gives the man two coins in exchange for the two meat lumps. 

“Thank you, Han,” You take the meat lump he offers you. He says nothing but begins to eat his meat lump. You both move to lean next to the wall of the local shop to eat your food. You learned long ago not take small bites but not to chew. Somehow you manage to finish your meatlump before Han. As he tries to finish you turn to look at what shop you stand outside of. 

“No way!” You gasp and run into the shop. You beam staring at the tables filled with thousands and thousands of different comic books. There are many you’ve seen before but even more of such you have never seen. A man with flaming red hair dressed in a high collar blue tunic approaches you. 

“Can I help you?” He asks not smiling. You know your appearance must not be to his liking. You don’t care. You know exactly what you want to find. 

“Do you have the final volumes of the Kade Genti comics?” You ask without hesitation. He looks you over again and purses his lips in disapproval. 

“They are very rare and very expensive,” He purposely raises his head so he look down at you. This is starting to piss you off. 

“I didn’t ask if they were rare or expensive. I asked if you had them?” You see no reason to be polite to him now.

“We do. They are back here,” He turns on his heel and starts walking to the back of the shop. 

“Kid, what are you doing in here?” Han enters the shop. 

“I’m looking for something.” You follow the store attendant. Han comes behind you.

The attendant stops at the back of the shop where a large glass cases sits. He point the two middle comics in the case. You start to bend over it. 

“Please, don’t touch the glass,” The attendant stops your leaning.

“I won’t,” You put your hands behind your back. You look into the glass and smile seeing exactly what you want. 

“What is it?” Han looks into the glass.

“It’s the final two volumes of Kade Genti!” You do not take your eyes off the glossy covers. 

“Kade Genti?” Han snorts. 

“What?” You look back at Han not pleased at his snort. 

“You do know most of his stories are taken from the life of Han Solo,” Han refers to himself in the third person. You know this is to keep the attendant oblivious to who he is.

“Oh, really? Han Solo was frozen in Carbonite and fell in love with a princess?” You point out key points from the last issue you read and cross your arms. 

“Yes. He was frozen in Carbonite to be given to Jabba the Hutt and he married Princess Leia of Alderaan,” Han gives away the truth. 

“Really?” Your arms fall to your sides. Kade Genti and Han Solo were the same person?

“Of course, the writers took great liberties with their versions of the story and took some stories from other outlaws to make the story more exciting. You’ll notice they cut Chewie out of the story and replaced him with a sassy droid and there is no Luke Skywalker either. And the art is made to make him look much different than real Han. But most of it is based on Han Solo,” Han has no problem pointing out. It makes so much sense now. Princess Meia is Princess Leia. That’s why their names are so similar. And with the story based on Han Solo it is no wonder Kylo hated that you were reading it and sneaking it on base. Still, you want to see what happens to Kade Genti. You want to see how he escapes and him marry Princess Meia. You also want to see if they include Ben in this story. 

“I still want them. How much are they?” You look to the attendant. 

“Very expensive,” He answers vaguely.

“How much?” You glare at him. 

“Five hundred credits for both,” He answers. You consider the price. It is very expensive but you need to know. And when you finish you can send them back to base to FN-2187.

“I’ll take them,” You decide. 

“What?” Han is shocked at your extravagant purchase. 

“You will?” The attendant is surprised. 

“Yes.” 

“I…I need to get the key,” The attendant walks away. Han steps up closer to the case. 

“I could just tell you what happened to Kade Genti. It’s my story after all,” Han huffs. 

“I know but it is different than your story too. Like you said they took many creative liberties. I’ve grown up with this story and I want to finish it.”

Han shakes his head disapprovingly and looks down at the glass. His eyes stop and focus in on something else in the case. A small smile comes on his face as he looks at the object inside.

“What is it?” You ask. 

“This,” He points to a comic next to the ones you intend to purchase. The cover is has a gorgeously draw woman on it. Her hair is styled in halo braid as you have often down yourself. She is dressed in flowing white gown that is bit low cut. A crown of star shaped diamonds rests on her head. In one hand she holds a bloodied sword and in the other the head of a Rancour. She is absolutely splendid. You read the title. You pause.

She has my name. You think reading it. Sure enough, the comic has the name Kylo gave you. “Warrior Queen” is written after it but the main title is your name. 

“This was my son’s favorite comic,” Han doesn’t look at you but keeps his eyes on the comic book, “Though he wouldn’t admit it since it was ‘girly’. Still, he named his first speedster and pet fish after her.”

You don’t know how to process this information. Did Kylo really name you after a comic book character…and a speedster…and a fish? 

The attendant appears with the key. He unlocks the case and takes out the two comics carefully. He walks toward the register and you follow him. He begins to wrap the books in a clear film as to preserve them. Once finished he puts them in a small flat box that he then puts into a bag. 

“That’s a lot of effort for two comic books,” Han judges the effort put into all of this. 

“They are rare collectibles, sir,” the attendant does not look up from his work.

You look into one your bags and start counting your coins. 

“Where did you get that?” Han gawks at the money. 

“Toik and his friends,” You grin. 

“You didn’t tell that you looted-” You notice the attendant’s eyes raise as Han begins to say “looted”.

“I took what they didn’t need. Now, you said five-hundred right? Here,” You hand over the stack of coins. The attendant smiles for the first time. 

“Thank you,” He hands over the bag. 

“Thank you,” You turn around with your bag happily. Han stays with you. 

“You didn’t tell me you took their money off their corpses,” Han gets back to his issue as you both exit. 

“Well, I needed a belt so took Toik’s then I saw they had their little bags and they didn’t need them as they were dead. I took them and so their loss is my gain. If I didn’t take it I wouldn’t be able to afford anything. Surely, you can understand.”

“I do. I just…”

“You wish I had shared?” You finish his sentence with a smirk. 

“Yes,” He admits. 

“You’re going to get some money so don’t concern yourself over this,” You pat his arm and smile. You two walk onward. 

Han stops outside a rather small building with now windows. The doors are large and glass with swirling steel on them. You read “Canto Bight Bright Jewels” carved in the stone above the door. Han enters with no hesitation. You cannot hesitate either as you are to stick with Han. 

“Oh my,” You look around the shop. The black floor glitter as do the silver walls. There are glass cases upon cases filled with gorgeous gems and jewelry. The chandeliers hanging from the ceiling makes everything sparkle. It is all so beautiful. 

A man approaches you and Han. He is tall and slender. His gold hair is slicked back. He is rather handsome with his square jaw and fit body that is hidden beneath a silk suit. He smiles revealing his teeth that are studded with tiny diamonds. This is throws your attraction to him off a little.

“Han Solo,” he greets Han and offers his hand for a shake.

“It’s Jav Kabadi around here, Urkum,” Han gives his current alias. 

“Ah, yes. My apologies, Jav,” Urkum pats Han’s held hand with his unheld one. Han pulls his hand out of Urkum’s.

“Do you have some business for me?” Urkum inquires. 

“I don’t but she does,” Han gestures to you. The blonde’s green eyes turn to you. He keeps his smile. 

“Who is this?” Urkum points to you but speaks to Han. 

“My new business associate, Meia. She has something that might be of interest to you.” Han answers Urkum.

“Oh? And what could that be?” You are not sure if Urkum is asking Han or you. 

“I’ve recently acquired some gems,” You pull off the bag of gems you took from the Red Star Ring. You open it and hold them out to Urkum. He looks at them.

“May I?” He asks reaching for the bag. He takes out a special eyeglass and puts it to his eyes so he can inspect the gems. You nod giving consent. 

‘Where did you get those?’ Han mouths at you.

‘Toik’ you mouth back. You see his eyebrow twitch slightly angry that he failed to take anything from his former enemies. 

“These are some lovely gems, Meia,” Urkum holds them up individually as he looks at them.

“Great.”

“For thirty gems this size, cut and quality I can give you…” he pauses putting the gem he currently holds in his hand back into the bag. He pulls out a small calculating device from his pocket and is able to work with it with just one hand. 

“Seventy-five thousand credits,” Urkum gives his estimate. 

“Seventy-five thousand?” You repeat the number. It is a lot of money. You look at Han excitedly but he frowns displeased with the price.

“Seventy-five thousand? Urkum, you and I both know for that many it should be more,” Han’s hands go to his hips.

“This is between me and Meia, not you, Jav,” Urkum keeps his face turned toward you. You look at Han instead of Urkum. Is Urkum trying to scam you?

“I trust my associate. If he says it is too little than it is too little,” You start to grab the bag of gems from Urkum. He loses his smile as you take them but he puts it back on.

“A hundred thousand?” He offers.

“Jav?” You look to Han. He shakes his head. Urkum frowns. 

“A hundred and fifty thousand. That’s as high as I can go,” Urkum offers. Han nods accepting. 

“Deal,” You let go of the gems. Urkum sighs.

“Let me go get the money,” Urkum starts to turn.

“Wait. I have something else,” You stop him. 

“Oh?” Urkum turns back curious as to what else you could have. You begin to reach into your top. You pull out the largest of your kyber crystals and hold it out toward him. His eyes enlargen and his mouth drops open. He regains his composure. 

“Is that a Dantari kyber crystal?” He start reaching for the crystal. You hold it out of his reach.   
“Yes.”

“How did you get one?” His green eye don’t leave the crystal. 

“I took it from a Kinrath egg on Dantooine,” You answer truthfully. His is mesmerized by the rarity. You feel his desire for the crystal. 

“Would you like it, Urkum?” You ask. 

“Yes. It will make a great edition to my collection,” He answers honestly. 

“How much will you give her for it?” Han asks. This seems to take Urkum out of his trance. He straightens up and presses his lips together. 

“Fifty thousand,” He answers. You don’t even need to look at Han. You know this is the price Han said he would pay but you sense it holds far more worth to Urkum. Although he is already giving you a hundred and fifty thousand credits for the other gems you are not going to give him your kyber crystal for less than it can be sold for. 

“No.” You reject the offer. Urkum scowls at the rejection.

“Sixty thousand.”

“I almost died getting this,” You hold it closer to your chest.

“Seventy thousand.”

“I think we should find another jeweler who will appreciate my sacrifice and my crystal,” You turn to Han. 

“A hundred thousand!” Urkum grabs your shoulder. You smile. 

“Deal. But I won’t give it to you till you pay me,” You put the crystal behind you. 

“As you wish,” He turns away and goes to fetch your Two hundred and fifty thousand credits. You bubble with joy at the high sell. You look to Han who nods proudly at your upsell. 

Urkum returns from his backroom with a scannable card. You look at the amount on it and smile. You hand over the kyber crystal. 

“It has been a pleasure doing business with you,” You tuck the card into your top. 

“Mhm,” Urkum does not car for your words btu only cares to look at his new crystal. 

“Let’s go,” You turn around to leave. Han comes close to you. 

“What about your other two?” He whispers. 

“I’ll keep them for now. Who knows when I’ll need them again.”

You and Han leave the jewelry shop. You are over joyed with the trade. Han is happy for you though he wishes he could have gotten in on the gem sale. 

“What will we do now?” You ask. 

“I have to get my cargo to my dealer. You should not come with for that. He doesn’t like women,” Han thinks on his dealer. 

“Okay...”

“You should enjoy the sights carefully. I will meet you at the doctor’s office in an hour. Okay?” Han makes the plan. 

“Okay,” You agree. Han walks off leaving you all alone in the city. What to do, what to do. You look across the street from the Canto Bight Bright Jewels.

“Madame Jujol’s Luxe Fashion and Spa,” You read the name. You smile and cross over. Entering the building you inhale the sweet scent of flowers you have never seen before. A flat face woman sits with her yellow hair piled atop her head. It resembles a diamond shape. Next to her is a sign listing ‘packages’. You read over each. They all seem to provide a bath and then a personalized dressing experience. It would be good to clean up having been covered in blood and sweat. But you can not do or afford the all-day packages.

“Hello,” You walk up to her. She runs her eyes over you. She pales seeing the blood on you but when her eyes land on your bag from the comic book store she smiles. 

“Hello. How can I help you?”

“I’d like the Tarisian Rose package,” You point to the words on the sign. 

“A very good choice. That will be ten thousand credits upfront though.” This is her polite way to say if you cannot afford it then you should leave. 

“Wonderful,” You hand over your new card. Her smile grows as she scans it and it goes through. She hands it back to you. 

“Could I have your name?” The woman asks. 

“Meia Naberrie,” You answer. She puts it into her computer. i

“Minkal! Berua!” The woman calls in sing-song voice. Two women in white dress come out. One has a shaved head but the other has curls nearly reaching the floor It feels very reminiscent of the doctor’s office you left not too long ago. 

“Ms. Naberrie would like the Tarisian Rose package,” The woman gestures to you. 

“She needs it poor dear!” The shaved one looks you over.

“She does indeed, Minkal. She looks like she just fought some beast!” The curly one you assume is named Berua seems horrified. 

“Don’t worry, dear, we will take care of you,” Minkal comes to your side. Berua takes to the other. They escort you into the back. You are starstruck by the beauty of the crystal walls and the pools of water everywhere. You see some women being massaged, other having their hair styled, others bathing in the pools and other being dressed in dresses you could only ever fantasize about. This must be paradise. 

“You may put your personal belonging in here,” Minkal goes to a rotting wall with grid covered compartments. She opens it up. You put your bag in there and slip out your card as well as your crystals. You put them in the bag before putting them in the compartment. You put your belt of money bag and lightsaber in as well. 

“Is just anyone able to access this?” You ask before closing it.

“Oh no. Once it closes, it will scan your face so only you can access it,” Berua help squash your fear of theft. You close the grid. Sure enough a scanner comes from the top and scans your face. 

“Come this way. You need to get out of this clothes and bathed!” Minkal pulls on your arm. 

They take you toward a steaming pool. They quickly remove your clothes for you. A gold droid approaches with a tray. A glass of purple juice sits on the tray. 

“Juice?” It offers you. 

“Thank you,” You accept. The droid put it on a table near you. 

“Oh my!” You fear Minkal exclaim after your clothes have been removed. You blush. She must be talking of your body. You look down at yourself. Although Ben had put back over your body after your rough sex-capade, there is still bruising and marks from his body. 

“Minkal, you know better!” Berua scolds quietly.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Naberrie,” Minkal apologizes. 

“It’s fine. I know that my…lover leaves such passionate marks,” You do not cover up though. 

“Will he be displeased if we take the steps to remove them?” Berua asks coming in front of you with your dirty clothes in her arms. You see their concern in their eyes. They must think your lover a horrid brute. You want to laugh. He is rough but not a horrid brute. 

“He will not.” You shake your head. You see them ease slightly. 

“Step into the bath, Ms.Naberrie,” Minkal gesture to the water. You do as asked. You enjoy the feel of the warm water against your skin. You like the small of the Tarisian Rose that comes from it. Minkal hands you the juice that had been brought to you. You drink it all quickly not realizing how thirsty you were. Minkal puts the glass away allowing you enjoy the pool fully. You feel Minkal’s hands go to your shoulders and rub them. 

Over the next half hour, you enjoy the bath, massage and a washing of your hair. Once you exited the bath, they covered you in an ointment similar to Bacta but perfumed with more of the Tarisian Rose. They fix your crooked nails on both your hands and feet. They shape your eyebrows and remove excess hair from your legs and underarms. They put a mud mask on your face as they led you toward the area with all the clothes. 

“You are to received five outfits, Ms. Naberrie. Do you have any preferences?” Berua asks. You are practically overwhelmed with the choices. You want to select the flashy gowns you see but know they will not be practical for travel or for combat.

“Well, I love everything I see but I need something…practical,” you hate the word. 

“Not everything has to be practical. You should have some fun outfits too. I’m sure your lover would enjoy seeing you in something like…” Berua trails off and pulls off the hanger a gown, “this.”

You are breathless as you stare at the red gown. It is an elegant deep v-neck silk dress with a slit up on side. There is not back to it but there are straps to keep the dress up. Of course, you love it. You think on Berua’s comment though. 

Would Kylo love seeing you in this dress? He may. He’s probably just rip it off you like he did with your last dress. You still mourn the loss of that dress. But your mourning thoughts turn to the current loss of Kylo from you. He will not see you in this dress. Not for a long time anyway. Should you not get the dress because he will not see it?

“So?” Berua keeps holding the dress up. 

“I’ll take it,” You make Berua squeal pleased with you choice. She pulls out a set of matching heels and a purse. You take it all as you have no reason not to do so. 

“Now, for your other clothes, you wanted to practical. How about these?” Berua and Minkal show you several dresses. Though beautiful they will not be functionable. They are forced to go to the shorter dresses, pants and jumpsuits. 

You select a pair of black tights with a dark purple, asymmetrical tunic dress that has holes cut in the shoulders. They pair it with a black leather belt to go around your waist as well as black heeled boots. Your other choice is a halterneck, sleeveless white jumpsuit. White heeled boots and a white leather belt for the waist are given with it. 

“And your last two outfits?” Minkal asks. You could choose more but you think of Jyn who you will see soon. All she has is the underpart of her trooper uniform. She needs clothes.

“I would like the last two for my sister. She is a few inches taller than me and a size smaller than me. Your complexion fair and her hair is dark. Could you pick something stylish but practical for her?” You request. The women look to each other then back to you. 

“You want to buy something for your sister?” Minkal checks. 

“Yes. Is that okay?” You nod. 

“Oh, yes! We don’t get many people who buy for someone other than themselves unless it is a mother daughter pair or lovers. We will be sure to get your sister something great,” Berua explains. The women pull out a few outfits and talk among themselves before presenting you with their choices. One is a navy, long sleeve jumpsuit with a triangle cut outs at the waist band with adjustable boots to match. The other is a tunic dress outfit similar to yours except in green. 

“They’re perfect, thank you,” you genuinely are grateful.

“We will wrap everything up. Would you like a to wear any outfit out?” Minkal inquires. 

“The white jumpsuit,” You decide. 

Berua takes you away as Minkal wraps up your purchases. She removes your mud mask and spitzes you with perfume. You look in the mirror at your skin and see the marks Kylo had left are gone. Seeing your cleared skin you start to smile but then it leaves. There is no longer any trace of Kylo with you. There is no proof of him having touched you and marked you has his except your memories. 

“Is something wrong, Ms. Naberrie?” Berua notices your change. 

“I’m fine,” You bring back a smile.

Minkal comes and you are dressed in our white jumpsuit. You love the look and the fit. They sit you down and begin to play with your hair. 

“I think a pompadour will be most stylish,” Berua gives her opinion. 

“No. I think an asymmetrical bob is the way to go,” Minkal disagrees. Neither sound pleasing to you. 

“A braid will suffice,” You tell the two. 

“A braid?” They both sound disappointed.

“Yes, just a braid.”

You hear them hem and haw. They lift up your hair as they begin but stop. You feel a finger cover over your scar there. 

“Ms. Naberrie, I hope you don’t think it bold of me to ask but did your lover do this as well?” Minkal refers to the scar. 

“No. He did not. I got that from a Tusken Raider,” You are honest.

“A Tusken raider?” Both gasp horrified. 

“Yes. I was on Tatooine andgot separated from my-” You know you can’t say First Order trooper group “tour group.”

“Oh no!” You hear the woman having her hair done next to you gasp. You begin to notice the other patrons and stylists around you looking over at you interested. 

“How did you survive?” A large woman asks on the other side of you.”

You decide to regale the ladies around you with your tale of torture and survival in the Tatooine desert as Minkal and Berua braid your hair. They all listen intently to your story.

You are sure to leave out certain details like you being a storm trooper. You refer to your squad simply as your tour group. 

“Then I came into the town. I saw my sister Jyn. She came and caught me just as I fainted. She took me to a medic. As you can see I am alive and well now. But I will never go on another tour of Tatooine,” You finish your story. 

“My word! That is an extraordinary tale,” one-woman comments. Many more of the like are given.

“Have you had any other such misadventures?” A stylist with pink freckles asks. 

“Oh, yes. I’ve had many and with far more dangerous creatures like Wampas.”

“Wampas!” almost all yelp. 

“Yes, but that is a story for a different time. Is my hair finished?” You ask Minkal and Berua. 

“Yes.” They speak simultaneously. They hold up several mirrors so you can look at yourself. 

Your hair is plaited as if it were meant to resemble billowing waves while two braid come together and ripple through the center of it like a chain. It is beautiful.

“I love it.” You gently touch it. The women smile pleased with their work. 

“Can’t you tell us another one of your stories?” The women around you ask. 

“I-” Your eye flickers to the clock in the wall. 

“Is that the time!” You gasp seeing your hour is almost up. 

“Do you have a place to be?” Berua does not look at the clock. 

“Yes! I must go!”

“Oh, no. Stay. We want more stories,” The large woman grabs you. 

“I really must go. Sorry, ladies,” You pull away and start for the walk of compartments. 

“You are leaving already? You still have a complimentary meal and jewelry selection,” Minkal is at your heels. She orders a droid to bring your other bags.

“I must go,” You pull out your belt and bag. You are pleased to find you can clip your lightsaber to your new belt. You keep your bags of money in your bag though. You slip your crystals and card back into your top though. You look at your two attendants who still seem confused at your need to leave. You reach into one of your money bags. You pull out several of the higher value coins. You put them in he hands of the women. Their jaws drop at the sight of the money. 

“Thank you both so much for your help,” You tell them again and grab the bags of your other goods from the droid. You leave Madame Jujol’s as quickly as possible. You need to get to the doctor’s office. 

Though in a hurry you are even more careful now to not fall prey to potential pickpockets. You reach the office and enter almost breathless. You see Han inside. He looks you over.

“Did you go buy all of Canto Bight?” he jokes. 

“Just half of it,” You joke back. 

“Mr. Kabadi you can go back now,” the receptionist opens the door for Han. She looks at you and freezes. You must look much different than earlier. Han leaves you. You walk to the counter and wait for the receptionist to come back to you. 

“I’m Meia Naberrie. I was here earlier and I am expecting my blood test result from Dr. Flor,” You try to sound as proper as possible.

“Yes, that will be a hundred credits,” She looks at the computer. You give her enough coinage to pay. She goes to the door and allows you inside. 

“You look very nice, Ms. Naberrie,” She comments as she leads you down the hall. 

“Yes, Madame Jujuol’s was very nice,” You give away your not-so-secret secret. She lets you in room five again. 

“So, I have heard. Dr. Flor will be in soon with your results,” The receptionist leaves. You sit where you did earlier. Several minutes pass. You grow bored. 

“I could always start reading my comic books,” You tell yourself and look at the bag you’ve put on the ground next to you. As you begin to lean down, the door opens. Dr. Flor enters with a clipboard in his hand. He drag a machine with him.

“Hello, again Meia. Oh my! You do look nice!” He comments.

“Thank you. How are my results Dr. Flor,” You want to get straight to the point.

“Well, Meia, the test proved my hunch to be correct,” He smiles to himself pleased that he was right. 

“Your hunch?”

“Yes. Your symptoms were all leading to one answer and the blood test confirmed it. Of course, to know the severity of your condition I need to perform an internal scan,” He turns on his machine. 

“What?”

“It is not invasive. You will need to remove you clothes though so I may have direct access to your stomach. You shake your head not wanting to be naked before him. 

“Do not be embarrassed to be naked in front of me. I am a doctor after all and I have no interest in women. My husband can attest to that,” He tries to give you some comfort.

“Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong?” You still make no move to undress.

“I will be able to give a most accurate answer if you let me perform the scan,” He will not give up. You roll your eyes and sigh. You remove your belt and undo the top of your clothes. You hold your crystals and card in your hand as you push down your jumpsuit.

“That’s far enough,” he stops you as your jumpsuit is at your pelvis, “Now lay back.”

You do as he says and hold your arms over your breasts. He grabs a tube from his cabinet and squirts the cold liquid on you making your skin grow goosebumps. He grabs a stick from his machine that has a black screen. He presses the skin into the liquid and rubs it around your lower abdomen. He stares at the screen looking for something. The screen has a strange whitish look on it.

“So, I have an ulcer or a parasite?” You ask. 

“Some could call it a parasite but I wouldn’t,” he laughs as if this is some joke. You look at the screen not sure what he is looking for. 

“Ah. There you are”. He holds the stick still and looks at two dark circles in the white mess. There is a tiny white speck in each of the black circles. 

“Well. Well. That is surprising,” he remarks still staring. He presses a button.

“What is going on, Dr. Flor?” You grow tired of his elusiveness. 

“Do see those specks?” he asks pointing to them as he removes the stick. The screen stays the same though.

“Yes.”

“Well, they confirm that you are pregnant.”  
-  
-  
-

“Pregnant?” You repeat the word. 

“Yes.” He keeps smiling. 

“But-but-but-” You cannot process any of this. 

“I know you may be thinking that your last cycle would prove you are not but from your description I easily surmised that that was just implantation bleeding. It fools many new mothers,” Dr. Flor merrily explains. 

“But…”

“Now, looking at the ultrasound it looks like you are five weeks along. Would that be an accurate estimate from the time you and your partner had unprotected coitus?” 

You stare at the screen and cannot even speak. What does he mean unprotected? What is protected sex? How could you be five weeks pregnant?   
“And I am pleased to say that both embryos look to be healthy,” he points to both specks. 

“Both!” Your heart races realizing there are two object on the screen.

“Yes. You look to be blessed with twins.”

“Twins?” You lose all color in your face. Dr. Flor notices your reaction. He loses his smile. 

“Are you not pleased with this news?”

“I-I don’t know. I don’t know how to feel or think,” You confess your eyes locked on the screen. 

“Oh…you really did not think this was a possibility?” His forehead crinkles. 

“No. I…I never thought that I could be…”

Dr. Flor strokes his tusks nervously. 

“Well, there are options regarding this. You can obviously have the children. Or you could elect to terminate the pregnancy.”

“Terminate?” You look to the doctor. 

“Yes, I can remove them from you. They are still small so it would not be a hard process,” He alerts of this new procedure. You look at the screen. 

“I don’t know…I don’t know what to do.”

“If you need some time, I understand but the longer you wait the harder the procedure will be,” Dr. Flor relays the important information. You chew on your inner cheek not sure of what to do. 

“I will give you some time alone,” He decides and start to walks away then walks back to the machine. 

“Would you like to hear the heartbeats?” He asks. 

“Heartbeats?” You the word startles you. 

“Well, yes. With these modern ultrasound machines, we can often detect heartbeats at five weeks. So, would you like to hear them?” He asks again. You swallow. 

“Yes,” You decide. He flips a switch. You hear two faint thuds coming from the machine. They are not in sync but both are strong and unique. 

“I will leave you to think,” Dr. Flor leaves the room. You sit staring at the monitor. You listen to unrhythmic noise as you gaze at the specks that look more like distant stars.   
Berua and Minkal were able to remove Kylo’s marks from your skin but who knew that he would leave his mark inside you? Such permanent marks…

“How can I keep them? They will take over my body. They will make me weak and hinder me from gaining the power I need to be Kylo’s equal. After having them, should I survive childbirth, I will have to give them all of my focus. I will not be able to learn. And they will be in danger. As long as the First Order is looking for me, they will possibly be killed as well. It would be best for me and them to terminate like Dr. Flor said,” You look away from the monitor. You feel tears pearling in your eyes. You look back at the monitor then close your eyes. You listen to the beating. 

You are not sure how long you lay listening. Somehow, the noise has transformed into a song. A primitive one but a song still. 

“Meia?” You hear Dr. Flor reenter the room. You open your eyes to look at the blue Balti doctor. 

“Have you made your decision?” He asks. 

“Yes,” You nod. He looks at the tears on your cheeks and nods in understanding. 

“Termination. I understand. I will get a nurse to come and help me in the process,” He pats your legs comfortingly. 

“No.” You speak without thinking. 

“What?” 

“I want them,” You continue to speak though you don’t know why you say these things. Yet when you say them, they feel right to say. 

“I want to keep them.”

“You’re sure?” He checks again. 

“Yes. I want them.”

“Well, should you change your mind I will be willing to perform the procedure. But for now, I will suggest increasing your diet with protein, vegetation and fibers. Don’t drink alcohol or take recreational drugs. You should still be able to have sex. You can be active but do not put unnecessary strain on your body,” Dr. Flor lists his recommendations as he grabs a towel and begins to clean the liquid off your stomach. Once clean you pull up your jumpsuit and attach it around your neck again.

“Would you like a picture of the ultrasound?” He offers. 

“Yes,” you nod. 

“I will get that prepared for you,” He leaves the room with the machine. You put your crystals and card back into your top. Alone again you look down at your now covered abdomen. You put your hand on it. You feel a smile creep on your face. 

“We’ll be okay,” You tell them and yourself. “We’ll be okay.”

Dr. Flor returns with a photo of the two faint stars in your womb. You tuck the picture away in one of your bags. He alerts you of a new pill for his services. You pay him directly then leave. You walk out of the hall and into the waiting room. You see Han, Jyn, and Chewie out there. Seeing them you feel your heart pound. 

“Wow! Meia, where did you get these clothes?” Jyn come sup to you surprised. 

“I got them at a store. I also go some for you,” You are sure to let her know. She grins at the information. 

“I can’t wait to try them on!” She squeals then becomes more serious, “What did the doctor say about you?”

You look at her then at Han the back to her. You bite your tongue. What will she think of you being pregnant and by Kylo Ren? 

“He said it was stress vomiting. I just need to calm down. Just like I thought,” You lie. 

“Oh, well, we will make sure to keep you calm then,” Jyn pats your shoulder. You see Han behind her. His crinkled forehead and knowing eyes give away that he does not believe this diagnosis. But he says nothing. 

“How are you, Chewbacca?” You turn your attention to the Wookiee who sits. He answers and lifts up a stick. 

“They were able to redress his wound, treat him for infection and have him this walking stick,” Han translates. 

“Oh. Good.”

“We need to get back to the ship,” Han helps Chewie stand up, “I have to meet a client tonight and need to shave.” 

Chewie makes a remark that makes Jyn laugh but Han roll his eyes. You don’t bother to ask for the translation as it will probably not be as funny with the time lapse.

You all head back to the Eravanna. On board, Chewie goes back to his cabin to rest. Han goes as well to clean up for his meeting. You and Jyn go to your room. You put away your crystals into the box. After Jyn tells you of her day at the doctor’s office with Chewie, you tell her of your experience in Canto Bight. You leave out the doctor’s diagnosis though. 

“Let me see my clothes!” Jyn eagerly looks at the bags. 

“I don’t’ know which ones have yours, you look at the bags confused. As they all look the same including your comic book one. 

“Let’s just dump them all out and see then!” Jyn grabs them all from you before you can stop her. She empties them all on the bed carelessly. As she does your body seizes up seeing your ultrasound picture fall out with the goods. You grab it before Jyn can see. You can’t tell her. You can’t tell her yet. For now, this will just be your little secret. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of you have been right for many chapters. Y/N is pregnant. I had to hold out a little bit though. I do understand that the decision made in this story by Y/N may not be the choice made by you the reader if put in this situation. The decision made is obviously an important one and is important to the plot. I hope you all will still continue to read and enjoy this story. :)


	35. A Night in Canto Bight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers,  
> Thank you all for the kudos and comments. You all have no idea how much it means to me to have such vocal and dedicated readers. I appreciate all comments and suggestions given though I know I don't use all of them. I truly do care about what you all think, whether positive or -sadly- negative. I really do mean it when I say "feel free to let me know what you think". So, please do.  
> I also want to thank you all for putting your trust in me to provide an entertaining story for Y/N and Kylo. I have so many plans for our lovers and other characters. I hope you all will continue to enjoy this journey.  
> Here is the next chapter! Enjoy!  
> Love you guys!

Chapter 35

Jyn prances about the Eravanna in her new navy jumpsuit to “break it in”. You know she wants to show Chewie and perhaps get a compliment. You fold up your other purchases and put them back in the bags. With them all put up, you did your best to re-build the cut bunkbed. Having searched around the ship and finding quick drying cement paste, you fix the bed and hope for the bed. You lean against the wall and slide down to sit on the floor as the bed is still drying. You look at the ultrasound picture you’ve been hiding in the pocket of your jumpsuit. You rub your fingers over the spots Dr. Flor told you were your children. 

_Children._ One child is a lot but two? How the hell will you handle two? How did you even end up pregnant with twins? How did you even get pregnant? You know that in the basic biology booklet, all troopers were to read, eluded that children are made from intercourse. But you didn’t bother reading much about it since you never thought you’d have kids let alone have sex. A lack of education left you susceptible to this situation. How were you to know better?

But Kylo…he is far more educated. How could he let you get pregnant? Did he not know how to prevent it? Or did he want to get you pregnant?   
You doubt the latter option as Kylo has not once ever expressed any interest in children. He would be furious to have you show up with two kids in your arms. They would be weaknesses after all. 

Have you made a mistake? Should you go back to Dr. Flor? Should you give up these things that will only bring weakness and anger to you and Kylo? 

The image of a black-haired boy with a wide smile and face akin to Ben's pops in your mind. How could you forget your visions? How could you forge the visions you've had of this boy and Ben? You recall the moments you watched of the two together. They were so happy and you were happy around them. Ben was happy. If that vision is one of the true ones then this child will not bring weakness and anger. He will bring joy and love.

“I chose right,” You mumble to yourself, “Ben will love his son.”

You pause. 

“But there was only one child in my visions. Where is the other one?” You feel your heart drop. Where was the other one in the visions? You run your hand over your lower abdomen where Dr. Flor has put that cold liquid. 

“You were probably hiding or playing somewhere else. That’s where you were,” You tell the tiny spot inside you. 

You fold up the picture and tuck into your pocket. You stand up and leave the room. You feel the need for a walk. As you walk in the corridor you pass Jyn who sits in Chewie’s room talking with him. It is interesting seeing how fast they have bonded. You are not jealous of the new friendship Jyn has made. You enjoy seeing her smiling and joking with someone. You know she has not been allowed to do that, at least not since her reconditioning. Jyn really does blossom being free. 

“Dammit!” You hear Han in a room behind you. You walk to the door and open it. Han stands in front of a mirror changed out of his usual slacks, dirty shirt and leather jacket. He wears clean black pants, a crisp white collared shirt, a black vest and a white suit jacket. He attempts to tie a sort of black sash beneath the collar of his shirt. He cannot get the bow right. 

“Let me,” You make him jump at your voice. But he turns and allow you take the sash from him. 

“I could never figure out to tie these damn things,” He groans as you begin to loop the fabric about itself.

“Well, do you know how to tie knots?” You ask. 

“Yeah. What does that have to do with tying a tie?” 

“Well, think of tying it as if you are tying a knot but a funny one that won’t last,” You give a final tug and smile pleased with your work. You enjoy the bow design you’ve given. You did see in it a Kade Genti comic before and it is fitting that the real Kade Genti model should wear it. Han turns and looks in the mirror before him. He frowns. 

“I look ridiculous,” He murmurs. 

“I think you look nice,” You try to boost his ego, “But if you don’t like wearing this then why are you?”

“I have to meet a client at a casino,” Han tugs at the bow you made as if to loosen it to breathe, “He is obsessed with looks and would more than likely cast me out on sight if I wore something less than this.”

“I see. He must be a powerful person,” You pat off some dust you notice on Han’s shoulder. 

“Yes, I would call the man referred to as the Count of Canto a powerful person. He always gets what he wants or-” Han clicks his tongue and swiftly moves his thumb across his throat. 

“Does he pay well?” You fold your arms over your chest. 

“Very well,” Han looks at himself in the mirror again. He pats at his hair. It is strange to see the smuggler trying so hard to look fashionable.

“I wish you luck. Don’t get taken out before you can take me to Naboo,” You start to back out of the room. 

“Wait,” Han stops you with his voice. 

“What?”

“I should have asked you earlier but will you accompany me tonight to the Casino? My contact says he is more accommodating to business associates when they have a woman with them,” Han explains. You frown. If this man is powerful and dangerous, it may not be wise for you to go with him. Afterall, you are pregnant and shouldn’t put yourself in anymore danger. You can’t tell Han that is the reason.

“Well, I was planning to read my comics tonight…could you ask Jyn?” You think of your sister.

“I would but I’d feel safer with you there in case something goes wrong,” Han admits. 

“Jyn is one of the best trained troopers. She can protect you,” You are sure not to have Jyn’s skills doubted.

“But she doesn’t wield the Force.”

“She can still protect you,” 

“But she can’t make sure I don’t lose,” His true desire for you to be there starts to show. 

“You want me to make sure you don’t lose?”

“I know you force wielders can manipulate items to move certain ways. You could stay on my arm and make sure the dice always goes my way.”

“I thought this was a meeting not a gambling tournament,” You cross your arms. 

“Tomthee Kalamey, the Count of Canto, is the son of a former client. After his father was murdered, he has begun to only makes deals with people he knows or can beat him at Sabacc. I am already good at Sabacc but dice can always flip my luck. I have to win and I will get a good deal with him and some money. I will compensate for your service,” Han offers. 

“What if I’m unable to make the dice land how you want?”

“Then whatever I bet will be lost.”

“Will you still take me and Jyn to Naboo if you lose or if I say ‘no’?” 

“Yes.”

You lick your lips as you try to make a decision. His old eyes stay on your face patiently waiting if you will agree to his little gambit. He will still take you and Jyn to Naboo. As long as Han and you don’t get caught cheating, you two should be fine.

“I will do it but we have to be very careful,” You decide. He smiles at your choice. 

“Can I wear this?” You gesture to your current clothing. 

“Did you buy anything nicer? More…flamboyant?” The last word is strange for both you and Han to hear coming out his mouth. 

“Actually, I do,” You think of your red dress. 

“Wear it then. And take some money with you. You will be expected to play there.”

“I need to transfer your money and Jyn’s first before I can do that,” You cannot forget those you owe though Jyn would probably not say you owe her anything. 

“There’s a credit transfer spot here in the docking bay. We can do that first before you get yourself dolled up,” Han starts to leave the room making you leave it as you block him. You rush to your room to retrieve your card. You both alert Jyn and Chewie of your impending return from the transfer shop.

* * *

The Night Buzzard hovers in space just outside the Wobani atmosphere. The modified Oubliette-class transport ship is where Vicrul stands among his fellow knights around the table where they most often meet to discuss attack plans and other plots. Each one wears the mask they fashioned despite not needing them for any functionable purpose at this moment. 

“Kylo has sent a mission for us,” Vicrul informs the gathered men. 

“What now? I don’t want to go on another mission looking at outer rim planets looking for that old Skywalker bastard.” Ushar, the one who wears an iron weave vambraces and a slightly crushed helmet with breathing tubes and anti-ox filters, groans annoyed at the thought of another mission set by their leader.

“We are not to search for Skywalker. We have a new target,” Vicrul presses a button and the image of Kylo’s apprentice appears. 

“Who’s that?” Cardo, the pistol and grenade wielding knight dressed in a flame-resistant Riftiaworm-hide coat and tri-braced plasteel-armored greaves, asks. His eyes behind the blast furnace plate turned helmet study the woman’s face. 

“Her name is Sly. She is Kylo’s apprentice. She ran away with this trooper FN-1226 and an unidentifiable man called Vykk Draygo,” Vicrul show a picture of FN-1226 as well.

“An apprentice?” Kuruk, a sound sensitive fellow with soft soled boots and a coat of sound-dampening susurra-weave fabric, repeats the position given to Sly. Had his helmet with peripheral vision blockers, a breath screen and vocoder grid been of he may have scratched his head in confusion. 

“Yes. He has taken an apprentice,” Vicrul reconfirms her position. 

“But…she’s a woman,” Trudgen’s patchwork helmet made from a defeated death trooper’s does not stop the sexist remark. He stands in his heavy tabard, hood and scavenged armor plates and points at the obvious feminine face disgusted. 

“Trudgen, I’m sure Kylo has a reason for selecting a woman to be his apprentice,” Vicrul defends Kylo and the woman. 

“I know I’d let her be my apprentice as long as our training solely took place in my quarters,” Ap’lek admires Sly’s image through the visual opening of his crudely patched but menacing helmet. Thinking of the things he’d like to do to her mouth, gets his body beneath his water-shedding oiled cloak, and lightweight plastoid armor underneath his black tunic hot. He pets he raised teeth on his gauntlets as he keeps on with his thoughts. The knights ignore Ap’lek.

“Kylo wants us to find Sly and bring her to him on Dathomir alive. He doesn’t care what we do with the others,” Vicrul relays the message from the mission giver.

“Dathomir? I’d rather not go there,” Ushar crosses his arms. 

“Scared?” Ap’lek laughs. 

“No!” Ushar denies. “But everyone knows you don’t go to Dathomir unless you want to get killed.”

“I’m sure we can handle Dathomir. And it’s not up to us to choose were to meet our leader.” Kuruk is sure to remind Ushar of his place. 

“Who are to find this woman? Does he have any clue to where she is?” Trudgen asks the sensible questions. 

“No. But she just left Dantooine yesterday. We can have the droid search all systems for her likeness,” Vicrul points toward a short, round eyed intelligence droid that is plugged into the computer system behind him. 

“And what do we do if she does not show up anywhere like the Skywalker bastard?” Ushar huffs but does ask a good question.

“Let’s just see if the droid can find her first,” Vicrul walks back to the droid. “AI-92, find this woman. Only use images that have been taken in the past twelve hours.”

The droid beeps and extracts the image projected on the table to go into his computer. He beeps several times. The monitor suddenly floods with flashes as the droid begins to search every database in the galaxy for a visual match. 

The knights come close and watch the screen. They all dread the possibility of there being no matches. They have no desire to have to do an old fashion manhunt for this woman based solely on clues and useless people form around the galaxy. Just a single match would be enough. Just one. They just need one.

“Beepbeepboop,” AI-92 points to the screen. The men lean in and stare at the monitor of the very clear face of Sly. 

“Madame Jujol’s Luxe Fashion and Spa? What kind of place is that?” Trudgen is disgusted by what he reads. 

“Nowhere you’d be welcome,” Ap’lek snorts. Trudgen raises his fist with the intent to punch Ap’lek but Vicrul puts up his hand to separate them.

“It’s on Canto Bight,” Vicrul reads the location more carefully. 

“Excellent. I’ve been craving some rich blood,” Cardo pops his knuckles. 

“Set the course, Kuruk,” Vicrul gives the order. 

* * *

You place Jyn’s new credits card with a hundred and twenty-five thousand credits on it on the lower bed. Han already has four thousand you promised him leaving you with a hundred and eleven thousand credits to spend. Of course, this does not count the coins or the kyber crystals you have in one of your bags. With the money sorted you know you need to get dressed and ready for a night in Canto Bight. 

You remove your white jumpsuit, belt and boots. You strap on the red heels that came with your earlier purchases. You gain a few inches with the shoes. You pull out the red gown Berua picked for you. You slip it on and find it fits just right. The feels of the silk against your skin is very welcomed. In the dirty of the room you look at yourself. The v cut in the front nearly reaches your naval and gives a generous show of your cleavage. Turning you see your whole back is exposed. How glad you are there are no marks to mar your skin there. You love how at your waist the dress ceases being tight and flows down. The slight at your right leg is not noticeable till you walk and show off your leg and heel. You keep your hair in the braid as it will not hide your neck much. You grab the clutch purse that was also chosen to go with this outfit. You put your credits card in there as well as your lightsaber - just in case. You remove the ultrasound picture from your jumpsuit pocket and put it in the purse. Though Jyn is not the snooping type you don’t want her to accidentally find it. 

“Meia!” You hear Jyn as she enters the bedroom. 

“Jyn, how do I look?” You ask for her opinion. 

“Beautiful!” She confirms what you also think. 

“Thank you.”

“But where are you going?”

“I am going with Han to the Casino to meet one of his clients. Don’t worry I already have a credits card with a hundred and twenty-five credits on it for you right there. So, you will not lose any money on this trip,” you point to the bed. Jyn bypasses the bed and grabs your hand. 

“What is it?” You stop. She takes your other hand in hers. She softens her eyes almost in a pitying way. 

“I…I know that you are probably feeling lonely right now in your heartbreak and Han is giving you a lot of attention but…I don’t think you should fuck him,” Jyn advices. You turn to stone in her hold as her words. 

“What?”

“It is very tempting to give in to the attention and embrace of another man but you should really wait till your heart has mended some. You might feel disgusted with yourself if you fuck someone during this time. So, please, tonight, don’t fuck Han at the Casino,” Jyn’s sincerity is nothing to laugh about but you feel a laugh traveling up from your chest to your mouth. You cannot stop it. 

“Jyn,” You chortle. She frowns at your laughter. 

“What?”

“I have no interest in fucking Han or anyone else. We are going to the casino to get Han a client and that’s it. There’s no plan to fuck,” You clarify the plans having stopped laughing. 

“You really have no interest in Han?” She lets go of your hands.

“I am only interested in maintaining a positive relationship with him that will end once he takes you and me to Naboo. Furthermore, I have no interest in fucking anyone in the foreseeable future. Thank you for your concern and advice, Jyn. But don’t worry,” you put your hand on her shoulder. She gives a small smile. 

**Knock. Knock.**

“You ready, kid?” You hear Han outside the door. 

“I have to go. I’ll see you later,” You pull out of Jyn’s hold. You open the door. Han stops and stares at you. He looks you up and down twice. 

“Eyes up here, old man,” you point to your eyes. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, sweetheart,” He turns around. You wave ‘goodbye’ to Jyn and catch up to Han. You leave the Eravanna and begin your trek to the casino. Your heel

catches on a tiny hole in the ground. As you start to stumble, Han grabs you and keeps you steady.   
“If you’re going to keep tripping then hold on to me,” Han wraps your arms around his. 

“I’m not exactly used to wearing heels,” You remark.

“Yes, I don’t recall seeing many troopers running around in full armor and heels,” Han creates the image that gives you a chuckle. Reaching the dual exit and entrance of the docking bay, Han leads you to the left and toward the hill that you assumes leads to the casino. You glance to your right before you turn as it is where the doctor’s office is. It makes you think of your diagnosis. You unconsciously touch your stomach. Your head turn and stomach touch do not go unnoticed by Han. 

“How far along are you?” Han’s question makes your heart jump. 

“I don’t know. How far along are we on this walk?” You turn the question back on him, feigning ignorance as to what he could possibly be referring to about you. 

“Cut the bullcrap, kid. We both know you don’t have motion sickness or stress induced vomiting,” Han calls you out. You loosen your hold on his arm and turn your face from him. You don’t want to admit that he is right or that you are pregnant. He pulls you back closer just in time to spare you bumping into a child running by you. You glance at the blonde and rather dirty child who looks at you and gives a brief apology for almost hitting you before continuing to run. You look back forward.

“How far along are you?” He repeats.

“Five weeks.”

He nods his head processing the information.

“Does Jyn know?” 

“No. I haven’t told anyone yet except you right now. And you can’t tell anyone including Jyn.”

“Does the father know? Is that why the First Order is really hunting you down?” He forms a theory.

“No. He doesn’t know,” You shake your head.

“It’s not Snoke’s, is it?”

You gag at the suggestion.

“No! It’s my master’s,” You let slip the father but are glad you didn’t let out your master’s name. You see his eyes widening next to you. You guess he is surprised by the improperness of such a relationship between a master and apprentice. 

“But I don’t intend to go back to the First Order especially now that I know that I’m pregnant. The best place for us will be Naboo,” You have not lost sight on your destination.

“So. you want to keep the child?” He asks. 

“Do you think I should not?” You stop. He stops with you. 

“I’m not really the best person to ask.”

“But you’re literally the only person I know who has had a child.”

Han looks away from you. 

“But my situation was different. I’m a man and I was married. It made sense to have my son even though I wasn’t prepared.”

“You didn’t feel ready to be a father?”

Han’s eyes travel to a couple passing you two by. You notice a child in their arms. They look so irrevocably happy. 

“No. Some men aren’t meant to be fathers and husbands. I jumped into those roles completely unprepared and even after years of trying I still failed as both. I haven’t seen my wife in years and my son…Ben…he’s gone so far down a path that I can’t reach him. It’s all my fault. I was a bad father,” Han finally looks away from the little family. He finally has given his son’s name. You know this already in a way. You saw in Ben’s memories his rather absentee father. But Ben still loved him and had so many precious memories with the man who did seem to try. 

“I’m sure your son isn’t too far from your reach. Even if he has gone down this path, I’m sure he still holds love for you in his heart. You could reach him and try to fix things,”

You know this even if Ben won’t admit it. 

“You don’t know my son. The path he is on has led to mass destruction and death of innocents. I cannot simply take him home with me and try to fix this relationship,” Han scoffs not knowing the truth of your relationship to Ben.

“But you could ask. You could make it known to him that you still love him and want him as your son. Or do you regret having him now that you know what he has become?” You pose the query. Han doesn’t breathe as he listens to you. 

“I love my son. Even though he has become what I feared, I love him and don’t regret having him.”

Your heart lightens with his answer. If only Ben could hear what Han has said. 

“But my feelings for my son have nothing to do with your decision about your child,” Han tilts his head toward your stomach. You start walking and make Han start too. 

“It does and it doesn’t. But I have decided to keep my children.”

“Children?” Han stops again. 

“Yes, the doctor detected twins,” You give away the two number. Han stares off shocked. 

“Come on, old man. You need to win me some money,” You tug on his arm. You two continue to walk up the hill. 

“I’m not liking this ‘old man’ nickname,” Han comments. You giggle. 

“Well, I can’t call you Han all the time and I can’t keep track of all of your aliases. Which one are you using tonight, by the way?”

“Stevv Manosk,” He answers.

“Stevv. Stevv. Stevv,” You repeat the name several times so it can stick. 

“Here we are,” Han stops. You look at the building before you. It is tall with great white, wide pillars and a rounded navy stone roofs. The entrance is lit by bright lights. There are gold on the walls at the entrance as well. Everyone walking in are dressed to the nines in black or white. Every being that has hair has it styled elaborately and jewels are on full display. You feel a little out of place in your vibrant red dress and lack of jewelry. The corners of your eyes catch glimpses of the other guests looking at you as you and Han walk to the open doors. 

You can scarcely breathe as you enter the dome. Lights make wave shapes up the arching golden walls. Gold tables with red velvet tops are everywhere and surrounded by guests . A great window at the back looks out to the dark starry sky. You and Han walk down the lit stairs onto the main floor. Your eyes go everywhere trying to take in the sights. 

The band in the room sways as they play an upbeat melody. It is speeds up several times only to slow back down. It’s a ride for your ears. 

“Don’t let yourself get too dazzled, kid. You need to keep your wits about you,” Han snaps you back to reality. He leads you to a count near the entrance. A grinning girl who looks no older than twelve stands behind a glass case with a small opening at the bottom. 

“Welcome to the Canto Bight Casino. How can I help you?” She asks. 

“I want a hundred thousand credits worth of betting chips,” Han put out his credits card. 

“Is that all you want, sir?” She takes the card. 

“Yes.”

The girl slides the card and gives it back to Han. She then takes out a box with five rows of gold coins. She pushes them to Han through the opening. 

“Here, sir. Enjoy,” She turns her attention to you, “And you, miss?”

“Nothing for now, thank you,” You decline. You take Han’s arm and walk with him away from the counter and further into the Casino.

“See that man there?” Han points to a tangerine Tiw-Lek walking about in a black reptilian skin suit and a large diamond pierced in his nose. 

“Yes.”

“He works for the Count. He watches players and selects who can play the Count after seeing their skill and accumulated wealth. So, I need to win more money before I can play the Count. And you need to practice with the dice,” Han begins to lead you to a not so crowded table. Han takes a spot at the Sabacc table and his given some cards. He puts in the required opening bet of Twenty thousand credits worth of chips. You stand at his side watching the game. It has been a long time since you’ve played Sabacc. It had been a preferred pastime during training when you could win or lose rations from your fellow troopers. Of course, you all had to stop when FN-3181 snitched about it to Captain Phasma after he lost a week’s worth of rations to FN-0878. Ugh. You do not miss FN-3181. 

It comes time for the spike dice. The dice is passed to Han. He lifts it as if you are to blow on it as you have seen many make their partners do for “good luck”. As you bend to blow, Han whispers the desired number to your ear. You blow and Han shakes the dice in his hand. As he throws it, you focus solely on it. It flies in the air and you make it spin just a little more before letting it fall. Han smiles seeing it the correct number. 

Han wins many rounds and then games of Sabacc. Whenever he is to role the dice you are made to blow and control the dice. You find yourself more excited each round as you watch Han’s pile grow larger and larger. The gold coins stack up like towers making a tiny city in front of Han. How you would love to live in that city. 

“Meia, could you go to the bar and get me drink?” Han asks as a new game begins to be set up. 

“Um, sure. What would you like?” You ask.

“A Merenzane Gold. Here,” he hands you a betting chip from his piles. You nod and walk away. You head toward the bar at the side of the room. Approaching the crystal and gold bar where a few sit talking on stools, you look at the bartender. You start to smile recognizing the face. 

“Minkal? You work here too?” You are shocked seeing the shaved beauty assistant you had earlier. 

“Ms. Naberrie! Um, yes, I work here in the evenings. What are you doing here?” She asks. 

“I’m here for some fun. It is nice to see you again,” You are genuinely pleased. She smiles. 

“I see you chose to wear Berua’s choice. It fits you perfectly,” Minkal comments. 

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“What can I get you, Ms. Naberrie?” She asks remembering her job. 

“Oh, a Merenzane Gold, please.”

“Good choice.”

“It’s not mine. It’s for him,” You point back to Han.

“Oh, is that your lover?” Minkal furrows her brows. She is surprised at the sight of a much older man,

“No. We are just friends,” You shake your head. 

“Ohh. Well, let me get you that drink.”

Minkal walks away from the bar to the wall behind her covered in the most exotic alcohols one could find in the galaxy. She walks to the end furthest from you. As you wait you lean against the bar. You feel someone brush against your side as they also come to the bar. You immediately clutch your purse hoping you have not become a victim of a pickpocket. Your purse has not been opened. You turn to look at who is so close to you. 

He is not a very tall man but he manages to surpass you in height. Unlike the other guests of the casino, he wear a brown leather jacket with some red stripes on his upper shoulders. He has on boots, brown pants, and a not so clean yellow shirt. His shirt peaks open just enough to show some of his chest.

As your eyes begin to rise to his face you hear the music of the band behind you begin to change from a quick ditty to a slow “ooooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ah ooohh ooh ooh” with slight hints of ticks and tocks. It’s rather mesmerizing. You let your eyes finish going to his face. 

He is a handsome man with a strong jaw covered in black stubble. His pink lips though a bit chapped has a perfect cupid’s bow on top and a not too full bottom lip. His nose is straight and ends in a little bulb at the end. His dark eyes possess long, black lashes that you suddenly wish you had as well. His eyebrows are thick and dark but not overgrown. His skin is tan letting you know he must often go into the sun. Atop his head are black curls that call for your finger to run through. You ignore the call though. Taking a breath, he smells like oil, sweat and spice. It is not an offensive scent. 

This man notices you. He spreads his lips showing off a set of perfectly imperfect teeth. You are unable to speak or move. It’s like you’ve been paralyzed but you don’t mind. You can’t tell if it is the lights or something else that sparkles around him. He starts to speak. 

“Here you go, Ms. Naberrie,” Minkal appears before the man can. You turn to grab the glass for Han’s drink. 

“Thank you, Minkal,” You slide her the betting chip. 

“Let me get your change.”

“No, keep it,” You stop her with your words. 

“This chip is worth-”

“Doesn’t matter. Keep it. The old man doesn’t need it,” You insist. Minkal accepts the tip. You turn and let your eyes glance back to the man. His brown eyes are solely on you as you start to walk away. 

“Mr. Dameron, welcome back,” You hear Minkal greet the attractive stranger who had stood next to you. 

“Minkal, I’ve told you, call me Poe,” You hear him give his first name. His silvery voice makes you look back over your shoulder at him. You see him leaning casually against the bar. He flashes his smile to the bartender but you notice his eyes have come back to you. You turn around, your cheeks pinken at him catching you look at him. 

You return to Han. You hand him the glass of Merenzane Gold. He takes a sip. He exhales an “ah” after swallowing. He sets the glass on the edge of the table. 

“How many more games do we have left till you’re chosen?” You lean down to his ear. 

“I don’t know but we have to keep going.” Han laces his finger and thrusts them out making them pop. E

“Excuse me,” The long-awaited man of the Count comes to your table. 

“Yes?” Han tries to not to answer too eagerly. 

“Tomthee Kalamey would like to play you in a game of Sabacc in his private room,” The Twi-Lek finally gives the request. Han accepts. Han gathers his winnings with your help. You both follow the Twi-lek out of the main floor, through hall and into a back room. 

The room is very similar to main one except there is only one table. There is a large crystal chandelier above the table that is covered in practically a mountain of gold. At one end of the table is a large one eyed, pink Wermal. The sabacc player with that resembles a large worm with arms slams his three fingered hands on the table as a whistle sound escapes from his nasal slits. 

At the other side of the table is hoard of women. They all huddle around a young man who sits there. He sits in black suit with a white dress shirt beneath it. Though his tie is loose and his clothes are put on sloppily, he oozes wealth. A gold Tarisian rose rests on his lapel. The pale young man is blessed with a head of tousled brown curls. His straight nose stays in the air as his large hazel eyes lined with eyeliner look down it. His pink lips are spread in a snarky laugh. He is rather thin yet many of his women hold trays of beverages and food of which he has been partaking. You know this one is the Count of Canto, Tomthee Kalamey.

“Thanks for the game, Verm,” Tomthee snorts in his victory. Verm the Wermal makes a blipping noise as he angrily leaves the Sabacc table. The tangerine skinned Twi-lek in a plain black suit gathers the count’s winnings into a basket. He does so without any expression.

“You did so well as always, Tomthee,” one of his girls compliments. 

“You are undefeatable!” Another claims. 

“You are the greatest Sabacc player of all time,” yet another goes on about him. He accepts the praises form his attentive fans. 

“Here is your new opponent,” The Twi-Lek steps a side so Tomthee can see Han. 

“Very good, Hok,” Tomthee looks at Han directly and raises an eyebrow as eh looks over the older man. His eyes move over to you and run over you. He gains a smirk. 

“Come, let’s play then,” Tomthee waves Han over. You keep with Han as he takes the seat where Verm had been. 

“I’m Tomthee Kalamey. You are?” Tomthee leans back in his chair. 

“Stevv Manosk,” Han gives the alias as Hok begins to move the mountain of gold to Tomthee’s side. 

“And yours?” Tomthee’s eyes go to you. 

“Meia,” You answer. 

“Meia what?”

“Naberrie,” You answer. He smiles at the full name. 

“Naberrie? You must be from Naboo then. Lovely planet but not as lovely as you,” He licks his lips. You feel your stomach gurgle disgusted by the lick lip. You see the girls around Tomthee all begin to glare at you. 

“Thank you,” you play nice and accept his compliment. 

“So, Stevv, why have you come to Canto Bight?” Tomthee turns his attention back to his opponent as the cards begin to be dealt.

“Business.” Han keeps his answer short. He puts in his beginning bets into the main pot and the Sabacc pot. Tomthee does the same. 

“What sort of business?” Tomthee doesn’t even look at his cards as they are put before him. 

“I make discreet deliveries across the galaxy,” Han gathers his cards into his hands. 

“So, you’re a smuggler,” Tomthee gives the common name of Han’s occupation finally looking at his cards.

“ _Sa_ bacc, Sa _bacc_ ,” he gives the two different pronunciations of the game they are playing.

“Hand total call,” Hok speaks up. Han and Tomthee answer with their hand totals. The two men begin to discard and collect more cards for their hands. 

“I assume that you have come to the casino tonight in hopes of winning a deal from me. Isn’t that right, Stevv?” Tomthee takes a sip from a flute of liquor handed to him by one of his adoring attendants. 

“I would not mind entering a business deal with you for the right price,” Han takes a bite of the food being passed by a droid that comes to his side. You shake your head not feeling hungry in the moment. 

“I don’t tend to do business with strangers,” Tomthee states then makes an upping bet of twenty thousand credits. Han matches it.

“You should try it. You’d widen your circle and your business.”

Han increases the pots. Tomthee has no problem adding more.

“Yes, but the problem comes when I have to deal with liars,” Tomthee focuses his eyes on his opponent. 

“That is a risk run with any business partnership.”

“Yes, but I think when I know I am dealing with a liar, I should not deal with them. Wouldn’t you agree, Han Solo?” Tomthee smirks knowing the truth of Han’s identity. Han does not pause or even blink in shock. He just continues playing. 

“I would agree. But in our line of work, lying is a helpful way to get the job done and protect ourselves and our interests,” Han keeps his eyes on Tomthee. 

“I suppose you’re right. You have been in this line of work far longer than me. You used to do runs for my father before me, right?” Tomthee brings up his progenitor. 

“I did once or twice.”

“He told me all about the famous smuggler who managed to help take down the Empire and marry a princess. It is strange to see you here now wanting to smuggle again. Things not work out you and your princess?” Tomthee snickers. You see Han’s fingers tighten their hold on his cards but he does not show any other signs of irritation. 

“You obviously understand how a man’s needs change,” Han nods his head toward the many women around the Count. The boy keeps a smirk.

“Yes. But I wonder, Meia, does he fill your needs as well?” Tomthee speaks to you as if Han is your lover. Why does everyone think you two are lovers?

“If not, my darlings here can attest that I am more than capable to fill them,” He strokes the breast of the girl closest to his right hand. You put your hand on Han’s shoulder. If people want to think you two are lovers then so be it. 

“I’m not the sort of woman who would stay with a man who could not,” You answer. Tomthee’s smirk begin to curve down. He grabs a tart from the tray of one of his women. He takes a bite and spit it out. 

“What is this shit?” He yells at the red Togruta woman and throws the bit tart at her face. 

“Cyan-berry tarts, my love,” She answers hoping the pet name with appease him. 

“I hate cyan-berries, you useless bitch,” he snaps at her and hits the tray of tarts to the floor. You see tears in her eyes but she apologizes for her mistake.

“Get me Jogan fruitcake or you’re going back to slave bay,” He threatens. 

“Yes, my love,” She turns to leave. 

“Clean up this mess first,” He grabs her by one of her headtails. She kneels down to pick it up with her hands. 

“Not with your hands,” He hisses. She begins to pick them up now with her mouth. When she finishes. She leaves the room to get the proper treat. You frown at the display. Kylo would have his tantrums but he would never treat you like that, especially not in front of other people. Your stomach aches as does your heart. 

“Now, where were we?” Tomthee’s attention goes back to the game. You stay silent as you watch them play. 

It comes time for both men to roll the dice. Tomthee smiles pleased when he rolls his desired number. The dice is handed to Han. He holds it up to you. You bend down as you have done previously. He whispers his number in your ear as you blow. He throws and you make it land on what he has asked for. You notice as you straighten up that Han is sweating. It is strange for the room is not hot. 

“Could he have some water?” You ask the hospitality droid that had previously given Han his food. The droid walks away and returns with water. 

“Here,” You had the beverage to Han who gulps it down rather desperately. 

“It looks like we’ve reached a large enough pot, Han. Would you like to fold?” Tomthee asks. 

“No. I’d like to up it,” Han pushes in all of the chips he has to the middle. 

“I will see your chips and raise you a million credits,” Tomthee snaps his fingers and the women push the even large pile of chips to the middle. This is much more than Han has.

How will he meet the bet?

Han pulls at his tie. He is still sweating. You hear him cough slightly. 

“I don’t have a million credits with me but I do have a freighter ship worth that,” Han offers up the Eravanna. 

“You really think you can beat me?” Tomthee crosses his arms with a laugh. 

“Yes.” Han answer then begins coughing more. 

“Are you okay?” You put your hands on his shoulders. 

“I’m fine,” Han raises his hand but coughs again. 

“I don’t think you are, Han,” Tomthee makes you and Han look at him. 

“Why would say that?” Han looks to the much younger player. 

“Because my droid has given you poisoned you,” The count chuckles. 

“What!” You are the one yell as Han has begun to have another coughing fit. He pulls at his tie as if it will help clear his throat. 

“I know your kind, Han. You were a good smuggler once, but I know all about how you dumped my father’s cargo the moment you saw an Imperial ship,” Tomthee stands up from his seat. He enjoys watching Han choking. “My father lost millions because of you.”

“What is the antidote?” You demand to know. 

“It’s right here,” He pulls a vial out of his pocket. 

“Give it to me,” You order and, in your fury, pull out your lightsaber from your purse and ignite it. The women around you scream in horror. Hok and two body guards you never saw before emerge from the shadows. They all have blasters in their hands. Tomthee is not shaken by your presented weapon but rather intrigued. 

“Turn off your weapon or they will shoot both you and Han,” Tomthee speaks in a matter of fact tone. You turn of the lightsaber and put it back in your purse.

“Now, I don’t give anything away for free here. I will add it to the pot but something of equal worth must be offered and he must beat me to get it,” Tomthee sets his conditions. 

“Han, do you have anything else?” You ask. He has turned red and cannot speak. 

“I have a hundred and eleven thousand credits,” you pull your card from your purse. 

“I’m sure a legend like Han Solo is worth more than that,” Tomthee does not accept the offer. You begin to sweat not sure of what could be offered. 

“What do you want then as collateral?” You ask. Tomthee grins deviously. 

“I’d be willing to accept the offer of you.”

“Me?” 

“Yes, I like the fire you displayed moments ago. I wouldn’t mind having a woman ready to kill for me. So, here is the bet. If Han’s hand wins then you get all this money and the antidote. If his hand loses then I get the money, Han dies, and you…you become one mine for as long as it pleases me,” He leans back the vial still in his hand. 

You’d be his? You’d be the little sex slave of this brat? No way in hell would you let him fuck you. But you can’t let Han die. You just can’t. 

“He doesn’t have much longer, Meia. What’s your decision?” Tomthee asks. You look at Han who starts turn purple. 

“Fine. I offer myself as collateral,” You slam your hand on the table. 

“Excellent.”

“I call,” You state wanting to see Tomthee’s cards. He merrily lays down his cards. 

“Pure Sabacc,” He states. You stare at the hand totaling up to the value of twenty-three. You look to Han’s swelling hand that holds the cards you never bothered to look at earlier. You sweat as you go to grab them. There is only one hand that can beat a Pure Sabacc. Taking the cards, you lay them down. Everyone looks at the hand to see who has won. 

“Oh, maker.”


	36. Escape from Canto Bight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I love them!   
> Please, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 36

Kylo walks the swampy earth of Dathomir. His mask protects him from inhaling the red mist of the planet. His lit lightsaber provides much lamination as he walks. Beneath his mask, his eyes move side to side. He knows there are no more sentient beings on this planet as they were killed long ago. Rancours, however, still live and run rampant here. 

Kylo draws near the ruins of a building. He does not hesitate to use the force to remove the fallen pillars that block the entrance. He uses his lightsaber to cut away the plants that have overgrown there as well. 

Venturing deeper inside. His crackling red saber is the only source of light he has. He moves slowly careful not to slip on the old wet stones. He reaches a large room. The iron half circles filed with old kindling. He puts his saber into it. A fire begins. The light shows another half circle nearby. Kylo lights it as well. He finds more and lights them till the room is illuminated. With visibility in the old temple, Kylo is more comfortable walking around it. 

He sees papers and scrolls scattered about the place. Blood is one some and over some of the walls. He walks up some stairs to what looks to eb a former shrine. A woman’s image is there with eyes x’s on them. He turns and lets his lightsaber give him the ability to see the documents on the table near her. He read them carefully then descends the stairs with them. He finds a table with three fallen pitchers. He lifts the pitchers and shake them. The outer two still hold liquid despite having been turned onto their sides. The middle is empty. 

Kylo leaves the papers there. He turns around and finds a cracked table. The words carved in the stone are word and faded. Kylo looks at the crack in the table. He holds out his hand. His finger fingers shake as he tries to move the stones closer together to seal themselves. The table tremors as the force tries to push it.   
There is resistance against Kylo’s fingers as he tries to close them into a fist just as there is resistance in the stone. With great strength he finally closes his hand. The table is sealed. 

Kylo walks back to the other table where the pitchers wait. He turns off his lightsaber and puts it back on his side. He set up the empty pitcher before taking the other two and pouring their contents inside of it. He swirls the now filled pitcher in his hand as he brings it back to the freshly fixed table. He pouts the liquid over the table then tosses it away. He ignores the shattering. 

A wind blows and the fires go out. The darkness does not phase Kylo. He keeps his focus on what is right before him. A green mist being to emit from the wet table. It grows and billows out. Like lighting, a green light shoots upward. 

A haunting “shrahhh” echoes as two horrid green spirits emerge from the table. They float up with mouths and glowing eyes open. They swirl about before finally growing still in the air. They look down at Kylo. 

“You are not Maul or that boy,” One with a hoarse voice points out. 

“No. I am Kylo Ren,” He introduces himself. 

“Why have you come here, Kylo Ren?” the other with a gravelly voice asks. 

“I want to you find someone for me,” Kylo states. 

“You must pays us if we help you,” The first holds out her hand. 

“I have fixed your altar. That is enough payment,” Kylo claims. 

“No. We are owed flesh and blood. You will give it to us as our payment,” the second snarls. 

“My reconstruction is enough payment. Attempt to take my body and I will destroy it,” Kylo lights his lightsaber. The ghastly ghosts look to each other greatly displeased. 

“Fine. Who is it you seek?” They ask together. 

“Luke Skywalker and my apprentice -” Kylo gives your true name. 

“We will only tell you one for the altar. For the other, you must give us flesh and blood.” 

Kylo grits his teeth. He must choose. Skywalker or You. 

* * *

Patrika, the receptionist at Madame Jujol’s Luxe Fashion and Spa, sighs as she finishes locking up the back of rooms of the store. She is so over today. It wasn’t her fault that there was no reservation made for the group of Xi’Dec today. Yet, the four-armed, sac covered insectoids berated her for half hour about it before demanding to speak to Madame Jujol herself. Having to get Madame Jujol involved resulted in poor Patrika being forced to work until she personally cleaned out every inch of the spa used by the Xi’Dec women. Finally finished, she cannot wait to get to her home and sleep.

Patrika stops at her desk to begin shutting down her computer. She hears the entry door bell ring meaning someone has not read the ‘closed’ sign on the door.

“I’m sorry but we are closed,” Pratika says then looks up from her computer. Every nerve in her body seizes the ability to move as she stares at six men all dressed in black with varying helmets on. They come to the counter bringing the stench of noxious ship fuel with them. Their weapons are already drawn.

“Where is this woman?” Vicrul holds out a holo projector toward the receptionist. The image of Sly appears.

“I-I don’t know,” Patrika shakes her head.

“She was here though, wasn’t she?” Vicrul continues his questioning.

“Yes, but I don’t know where she is,” Patrika reiterates that fact.

“What do you know?” Ushar steps up to the counter.

“I-I-I can tell you her name,” Patrika offers.

“We know it’s Sly,” Ushar is uninterested in the little contribution the woman intends to give.

“Sly? No, she used a different name when she came in. It was something pretty. I can pull it up for you,” Patrika turns back to her computer. She puts in the time she remembers seeing the woman. She looks under those who also selected the Tarisian Rose treatment.

“Here. Her name is Meia Naberrie,” Patrika tries to smile giving the menacing men the information.

“And you don’t know where this Meia Naberrrie is?” Vicrul asks once more.

“No.”

“Then you are of no use to us,” Ushar raises his blaster and raises to the receptionist’s head.

“No! No! Please! I know where she might be!” Patrika throws up her hands hoping for mercy.

“Where?”

“Anyone who is anyone would go to the Casino. Everyone loves the Casino. She’s probably there!” Patrika spills out her guess.

“Then that’s where we will go,” Vicrul turns as do the other Knights except Ushar. Patrika stares at Ushar not sure why he isn’t leaving.

“Ushar, don’t waste your time on her,” Vicrul turns back and calls to his comrade. Ushar lowers his blaster and turns to go with the others. With the men gone, Patrika grabs her chest where her heart races. She trembles having just had a brush with death.

* * *

“Oh maker,” You cannot believe your eyes. You beam.

“An Idiot’s Array? This can’t be!” Tomthee’s jaw his dropped. You run and grab the vial of antidote before Tomthee can even change his facial expression. You open the vial and Han’s mouth. Once the liquid is in, you close Han’s mouth making him swallow it.

“This can’t be!” Tomthee stands and slams his delicate hands against the table making some of the chips fall from the towers.

“It’s okay, Tomthee. You’re still a winner to me,” One of his girls steps in to soothe him. He back hands her so hard she falls to the floor. She holds her cheek. Her lip quivers. The other women take a step back from Tomthee who turns back to the table and the recovering Han.

“You must have cheated!” Tomthee accuses. He is right but only about the dice but not about the cards. But you and Han will not admit to that either. You help straighten Han up in his seat.

“Just because you lost doesn’t mean we cheated,” You glare at the loser.

“You must have. I never lose!” Tomthee growls throw clenched teeth.

“Well, you did today. Han and I will be leaving with our winnings,” You help Han stand.

“No, you will not. You are cheaters and will take no money of mine,” Tomthee declares.

“It’s not worth fighting for, Meia. We should just get out of here,” Han speaks to you softly.

“You’re just going to let this brat have his way because he is throwing a tantrum?” You don’t look at Tomthee. Had you, you would see him turning red. His pristinely waxed eyebrows dip down, his teeth are clenched, and his eyes burn in rage.

“Yes. He owns the Canto Bight Police. He can make it impossible for us to leave alive,” Han tries to whisper this news of importance. Hearing this Tomthee gains some of his arrogance back. Your stomach swirls. You taste copper in the back of your throat. You’re not sure if it your children in you or disgust for this spoiled prick.

“Let’s just go, Meia,” Han takes your arm and tries to lead you out.

“You two aren’t going anywhere. You will get to leave soon but she will not. She took that antidote when she shouldn’t have. So, she must stay to pay off her debt to me,” Tomthee contrives a way to make you stay.

“I’m sure my chips are enough to cover all of that,” Han puts his arm around to keep you close.

“It is not.” Tomthee snaps his fingers. Hok and the other three blaster wielding bodyguards come up again.

You go to ignite your lightsaber.

“Turn on your pretty toy and I’ll shoot Han then you,” Tomthee threatens. Unlike on the Eravanna where Han could hide behind a wall while you fought of the blasts of the Red Star Ring, Han has no place to hide. He could be easily shot. Tomthee’s women could also be injured and you figure they have bene abused enough by the Count of Canto. They don’t need to die because of him.

You move your thumb away from the strip that will turn it on. Tomthee points and sands Hok to grab your weapon. He rips it from your hand and comes back to Tomthee’s side. Tomthee finally sits. He lounges in the chair so his hips are out toward the edge while the back of his head rests against the back of the chair.

“Now, you are going to crawl on all four to me and beg me to fuck you. You’re going to beg me to fuck you in front of this geriatric fraud. Then when I’m done, I’m going to turn him over to the Canto Bight Police. And when they arrest him you’re going to beg me to fuck you again in front of them. You’re going to beg them to watch as I fuck you senseless. Understand, cunt?” Tomthee directs these orders at you.

You look at Han who has grown pale. His lowered brows and saucer-sized eyes give away his horror and concern. You look back at Tomthee then Hok. He holds your lightsaber right next to the sitting Tomthee’s head. The opening is on the correct side. You start to chuckle then start to go into a full laugh. Han looks at you gulping knowing your laughter will only provoke the other man.

“What’s funny, bitch?” Tomthee scowls.

“This,” You hold out your hand. Your lightsaber ignites sending your blade into Tomthee’s head. You summon your lightsaber to you and catch in your hand as everyone else stares at the now dead Tomthee. No one screams. No one moves or speaks. You are not sure if it is due to shock.

“If you all will let us leave without any issue, you can all have the chips here,” You offer up the winnings, “Deal?”

The bodyguards and women exchange numerous looks then smile. They flood to the table to take what money they can.

“Let’s go, Han,” You push the old smuggler forward and turn off your lightsaber. You put it back in your purse. The two of you leave the room. You two stick to the walls as you re-enter the main floor of the casino. Neither of you want to be noticed.

Nearing the front of the Casino you notice six men arrive. Strangely, they all remind you Kylo when he is in his full garb. But their masks and clothes are all different. They laden with heavy artillery. Two raise blasters and shoot them into the air. The music dies as the mirth in the casino. There are few screams and many who duck but all turn and look at the men. Han instinctually wrapped his arms around you as if to make himself a shield to protect you.

“We are the Knights of Ren. Tell us where this woman is,” The one with a pastillion ore made to look like a grid in front of his face speaks. He holds out a disc and projects your image. You stare at your old photo. These are the Knight of Ren? They are after you now?

“You’re trembling,” Han whispers, “Does the First Order have control over these guys too?”

“I don’t know.” But you do. Kylo has control over these so-called Knights.

“Who has seen this woman?” The lead knight speaks again. You look around hoping no one sees you or recognizes you despite being mostly covered by Han’s body. Your eyes land on Minkal behind the bar. She know you were here. Just as you are about to look away from her, she looks across directly at you. She starts to gaps but stops. You shake your head at her hoping she will say nothing. She closes her mouth and nods her head. She will not betray you.

“I saw her!” You see Tomthee’s Red Togrutan lover speak up. Her hands hold a tray of fruitcakes. She must not have gone back yet.

“Where is she?”

“In a back, room. I will take you,” She volunteers. Only two of the knights go. The rest stand making sure no one else moves.

“Han, we need to split up.” You keep your voice faint so no around you two can hear.

“No.”

“Yes. I am going to slip away from you. When I am noticed and they come for me, you will run to the Eravanna. You will leave and take Jyn straight to Naboo,” You give your plan.

“And what about you? You’re going to let them have you?”

“No. I will figure out a way from them. Then I will bribe a pilot to take me to Naboo. I will meet you all there. Okay?”

“I don’t like this plan, kid,” Han gives his opinion.

“Too bad, old man,” You push yourself out of his arms. You begin walking backward and try to slip by the terrified people around you. You know if you can make it to the back of the Casino where the big window is, then you will probably find a back door. You can leave that way.

You open your purse and take out your folded picture and credits card. You slip them in with your barely covered breasts. You remove your lightsaber and keep it low at your side. You drop your purse so it will not burden you in your escape.

“Excuse me, you dropped this,” Someone picks up your purse and starts to hand it back to you. Seeing your face the small man freezes.

“She’s here!” He yells giving away your location to the knights. You punch the snitch in the jaw sending him flying back. The knight see though. As they start toward you, the people split to allow them easier access to you. You try to push by the people keeping you from the back window. Many try to lay hands on you to keep you still so you can be captured and they can return to their games. Turning on your lightsaber, they all let you go. They separate as well.

You have no time to look for a door. You take your ignited your and cut a hole in the window. The glass falls out to the ground below. You rip off your heels and step into the hole having turned off your lightsaber. You look back and watch the men grow closer. You look down at the ground below. Everything begins to shake. You see the cause approaching.

The Fathiers race is going. Jumping could mean getting trampled by the oncoming animals. Staying could mean death. You look back once more. You see Han running out the entrance. You look forward again. You have to jump. You have to do it. You take a breath. You jump.

“Ah!” You shriek as you are caught by your hair. You dangle out of the window. You look up and see one man with the helmet with blinders on holding your braid. He brings his other hand to grab it so he can work on pulling you up. The Fathiers are nearly under you. You ignite your lightsaber.

With swipe of your saber, you severe that which keeps you connected to the man. You know the sacrifice you make now is nothing compared the sacrifice you’d make if caught.

You fall from the window and land on the hard back of a running Fathier. You knock over the rider to the ground. You hope he is not trampled but you can’t worry about him. You have to escape. You grab a hold of the fur to keep you from falling off. You turn off your lightsaber as you fix yourself into the saddle.The Fathier wants to turn on the circle to finish the race. However, doing this will mean coming back near the men. You lead the Fathier to go straight. It jumps over the railing into the stands of people watching. The people scatter to avoid injury. You hear shots being fired at you but you keep riding up. Reaching the top of the stands, your Fathier jumps. It stumbles as it lands on the shores of the Cantonica Sea. You slow him down and slide off the saddle and beast. You smack his hindquarters sending him running. You in turn run back toward the city.

You manage to get into the city. You stick close to the walls as you try to find your way back to the docking bay. You walk quickly not caring if you bump into others. You need to get off this planet now. You hope Han has left.

In the docking bay you search for any ship that is opened. You reach the spot where the Ervanna was docked. It is gone. You smile bittersweetly. Han made it and Jyn will be on her way to Naboo. You wish you could have made it too.

You keep walking and see a rather small ship ahead. The ramp for entry is lowered. You climb inside hoping to find a friendly pilot who will take a bribe. As you walk in the ship you it strange that there is no cargo.

“Come on, BB-8,” You hear a voice from behind you. You panic unsure of what to do or where to go. You duck behind the box marked rations.

You watch as a small white and orange droid rolls into the ship. Behind him is the handsome man from the casino bar. Poe Dameron…He carries a box in his arms. You find yourself wishing you were invisible as he brings this new box toward you.

“No, BB-8. We are going straight back to the base. I’m not going to stop again. I promise,” Poe puts the box down. He looks down as he does. His eyes double seeing you. He grabs a blaster from the box he just put down and points it at you.

“Get up,” He order. You raise up with your hand also raised. Poe grabs your lightsaber and puts it on the box closest to his side.

“Wait. You’re the girl form the bar,” He starts to smile recognizing you, “What happened to your hair?”

You realize you have cut your hair. It must be different form your precious look not that you have any idea what you look like now.

“Some men were chasing me. They grabbed by my hair but by cutting it I was able to escape with my life,” You keep your hands up.

“Who were these men? Why were they chasing you?” He does not lower his gun.

“I’m not sure but I know they have something to do with the First Order.”

“The First Order? Why would the First Order come after you? Are you apart of the Resistance too?” He asks.

Ah. He is a Resistance man. Will he trust me if I say I am? You wonder.

“I am.” You lie.

“Then tell me what base you’re from and why you’re here on Cantonica?” He has not relaxed his hold. You have to remember something from all the searching for Resistance bases months ago. Where was one of the rumor bases?

“How am I supposed to know you are really apart of the Resistance? For all I know you could be with those First Order guys,” you turn it around on him.

“I’d rather be tossed into the vastness of space than ever be apart of the First Order,” He spits after he says ‘First Order’.

“You could just be saying that! How do I know you really are in the Resistance?” You keep playing concerned Resistance member. Poe presses his lips together.

“You just have to trust me.”

“Then you have to trust me too.”

Poe’s arm begins to lower but he does not lose his aim.

“What are you doing on my ship?”

“My pilot fled. I need a new one. I just starting looking for pilots in ships. I came in but was afraid when you came in after I saw no one,” You are not lying. You pull out your credits card from your dress. You do not fail to see his eyes follow your hand into you almost exposed breast. You hold up the card “I was going to bribe a pilot to take me away from here.”

“You’d let a random pilot take you back to a Resistance base? Do you want to endanger us?” Poe scolds.

“I was just going to make him or her take me to Naboo. From there I would get in contact with my friends and get back to base,” You construct a tale. Poe thinks on the words.

“That would be smart. But since I’m here I can take you to Naboo to meet the other Resistance members,” Poe lowers the gun.

“You will?” You are not sure whether to be happy or not.

“Yes. But I’m holding onto whatever this is until we get there,” He takes your lightsaber and shoves it into his pocket. You would frown at the confiscation of your weapon but if it means a free ride and your life, it must be permissible.

“Okay,” You agree to his term. Poe puts the blaster into an empty holster on his belt. He smiles at your acceptance.

“I’m Poe Dameron, by the way,” he introduces himself as you come around the box form where you were hiding. You tuck your credits card back into your dress.

“Meia Naberrie,” You give your alias.

“Meia,” he repeats the name. It sounds so nice falling from his lips. His well-formed, pink lips.

“You can sit up with me in the cockpit,” He points ahead. You start that way. You hear the only way out of the ship closes. You sit in the co-pilot seat. Poe quickly comes and claims the pilot’s.

“Get ready, BB-8,” Poe starts flipping switches and pressing buttons. You try to buckle but it won’t lock.

“That one doesn’t work,” Poe keeps his hands busy but informs you.

“Your seatbelts don’t work?” You still try to get it to lock.

“Just that one.”

“Oh,” You let go of the seatbelt feeling very uncomfortable without the safety of it. Poe finishes his pressing.

“Mine works though. If you want to you can sit here and we can both be locked in,” he lifts his seatbelt with one hand and gestures to his lap with the other. His mouth is curled up suggestively. His beautiful eyes beckon for you to give into his suggestion.

You cannot help remembering the last time you sat in a pilot’s lap. That was quite a fucking and loved every second of it. But this is not Kylo. You don’t know this man and will not reenact such an act with him, even if he does have pretty eyes.

“No. I’ll be fine,” You reject him.

“Suit yourself,” He buckles. You feel the ship shake as it starts and rises from the ground. You hold on to the arm rests. You hope you don’t puke.


	37. Three Ships in the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Readers! Thank you all so much for the kudos and uplifting comments! Please, enjoy this chapter. :)

Chapter 37

Kylo stands before the floating green spirits of the deceased Nightsisters. He knows he needs to find Skywalker. He has been hunting down his uncle for years. And the Knights are to find you. But what if they fail? They’ve failed before in other areas. What if you slip away and keep running? 

“So, who will it be, Kylo Ren?” One of the spirits asks.

“Skywalker or your apprentice?” The other brings up the options that Kylo already knows.

Kylo exhales sharply. 

“My apprentice.” Kylo decides. The green mist begins to take a different form. It creates a skipper ship. 

“Your apprentice is on a ship just outside Cantonica.” The first speaks.

The fog dissipates and shows a form of your face in it allowing Kylo to see you. Obviously, his knights have failed. But he can only focus on you and not of his knights. He reaches up and touches the mist that is your cheek.

“Is she well?” Kylo asks though he did not mean to do so. 

“Very well. No thanks to you.” The spirit hisses. 

“You are very cruel to your apprentice or should I say lover?” the second spirit gives her opinion and knows the truth of the relationship.

“You’ve lied to her and now she has been put on a difficult path,” the first tsks and shakes her head. 

Kylo frowns. The witches really do have the ability to see in all directions. It is no wonder they were feared. This sort of magick is hard to possess. Those who use the force cannot always see the future let alone the past. It would be nearly impossible to see the past of a person one has never met yet these Nightsisters can. And they can see where people are, their well-beings and true feelings. They even know of his lie about his feelings. Kylo wishes he could have such power. But magick is dangerous, more dangerous than the force. 

“But it looks like she is in good company now,” The first spirit remarks. Kylo sees the fog change shape and take the form of a man. 

“Handsome company,” the second comments. Kylo has not seen the man before but even in this green fog, Kylo can see the man is handsome as the witch spirit said. Kylo fists his hands. The spirits notice. 

“You are jealous. As you should be,” the second spirit smirks. 

“He should be a fine lover. He is far more handsome than this bucket head.

They both cackle in amusement as they criticize the man in front of them. Kylo’s breathing is harsh as he listens to them. His mind runs amok thinking of you and this Resistance pilot. He can just imagine the pilot touching you, kissing you and saying things Kylo cannot. 

“She is better with him,” The first spirit chortles her opinion. 

“NO!” Kylo yells and slams his lightsaber through the altar. The spirits scream in despair as they are sucked away back into the table that Kylo continues to slash. He completely obliterates the ancient stone surfaces still it is nothing but rubble. 

Panting, Kylo stops and turns off his lightsaber. The green mists and spirits are gone. He looks at the damage done in his anger. 

“Shit,” He realizes what he has done. But it is too late to fix it. He turns his back on the only way to contact the Nightsisters. He leaves the old temple and returns to his ship.

Closing it up, Kylo sits in the pilot’s seat. He takes off his helmet and stares at it. 

“Buckethead,” He repeats the term the spirit called him. He throws the helmet behind him. He grabs the controls of the ship and starts it off to leave. As he shoots out of Dathomir’s atmosphere his blood boils thinking of the other pilot. Do you think him more handsome? Are you going to fuck him too? Will you fuck anyone who is remotely attractive or just people who will help you get out situations you don’t like? You said you loved him and yet you left and now you’re with another man. Is this all because he won’t say that he loves you?

Kylo sees the flashing light indicating someone is trying to contact him. He summons his helmet back to him and puts it back on his head before answering. 

“Vicrul,” Kylo address the hologram. 

“Kylo, we found your apprentice on Cantonica, however, she-”

“Got away. I know.” Kylo interrupts the report. 

Vicrul does not ask how Kylo knows of their failure. 

“We will find her though. She could not have gotten very far,” Vicrul is convinced. 

“She is on a skipper ship outside of Cantonica with a Resistance pilot. Go now and you may catch her.” Kylo gives the instruction. Again, Vicrul does not question Kylo’s source of knowledge. 

“Are we to still bring her to Dathomir?” Vicrul checks. 

“No. Once you have her, let me know and I will come to you.” Kylo changes the plan and ends the transmission. 

* * *

Feeling the ship moving, Jyn wakes from her sleep on the top bunk of the fixed bunk bed. She smiles because this means she and Meia are finally on their way to live freely on Naboo. She climbs down the bunkbed to look at her friend. 

“Meia?” Jyn comes close to the bottom bunk and loses her smile that Meia is not there. 

“Maybe she is the bathroom?” Jyn leaves her room. She moves down the hall to the lavatory. She knocks as the door is closed. There is no answer and so she enters. Meia is not vomiting in there which is good. 

“Maybe she is with Han,” Jyn figures. She goes to the cockpit where Han sits flying the ship through hyperspeed. His white jacket, black vest and tie are discarded on the co-pilot seat. Meia is not there. 

“Han,” Jyn steps up to him. 

“Oh, Jyn, I thought you were sleeping,” He look back at her briefly. 

“I was but I felt the ship moving. We’re on our way to Naboo?” Jyn checks. 

“Yes.”

“Have you seen Meia? She wasn’t in the room or the bathroom,” Jyn picks up Han’s discarded clothes and sits in the co-pilot seat. Han doesn’t answer the question. 

“Han? Did you not hear me?” Jyn checks thinking the man may have lost his hearing due to age. 

“I did,” Han does not look at her. 

“So? Have you seen her?” 

“I have.”

“Okay, where?” Jyn finds Han’s elusiveness strange and a little annoying. 

“On Canto Bight.”

“What do you mean on Canto Bight?” Jyn’s blood pressure begins to rise. 

“I had to leave her on Canto Bight,” Han final gives away your last known location. 

“What! How could you leave her there? Why would you leave her there? Go back for her now!” Jyn stands screaming at the pilot. 

“She told to, now, sit down,” Han tries to have the woman sit. 

“She told you to? Why would she tell you that?” Jyn does not sit. 

“Those Knights of Ren guys came into the casino. Meia told me to get back to the ship and take you to Naboo. She will meet us there,” Han relays the plan. Jyn falls into the seat, her eyes large at the news of the group’s arrival.

“He sent the knights for her?” Jyn talks more to herself than to Han. Han brings the ship out of hyperspeed and brings her into a slower pace in the empty space. He looks over to Jyn. 

“You know who sent them after her?” Han asks. 

“Yes, of course. I’m just so surprised that he would go this far to get her. I mean after what he said he should just let her go.” Again, Jyn speaks more to herself. She cannot fathom why the man who said he could not love her best friend would send his own personal group to find her.

“Who sent them?” Han has to repeat the question. 

“Her master,” Jyn looks to Han not sure why he doesn’t know who she speaks of but then remembers he is not a part of the First Order and would not know. 

“Who is her master?” Han’s curiosity overcomes him. He knows it is not Snoke. But who is it that is her master and also the father of her secret children?”

“Commander Kylo Ren,” Jyn still gives her former commander his title. Han drops the ship’s controls. His body is limp. His mouth gapes open like a shocked Mon Calamari. His hazel eyes protrude out of his skull. He tries to process this news. 

Kylo Ren is the father. 

“I hope they did not catch her. She can’t go back to him. He will kill her,” Jyn voices her worries about Kylo. 

Han says nothing. He is too busy thinking of the paternity reveal. He just cannot grip the new knowledge that his son not only fucked a girl but also got her pregnant. Concern and a smidge of pride swell in Han. 

“But, knowing Meia, she must have escaped. I believe she has escaped. She will meet us on Naboo. Hell, she might even beat us there,” Jyn tries to stay positive. Jyn looks over at Han who is still sits in astonishment. 

“Han? Han, are you okay?” Jyn grabs his arm. The touch brings him back to reality. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” He regains his hold of the controls. He looks ahead to the stars. He must get to Naboo and to Meia.

* * *

Having cleared it with Poe, you go to the sole bathroom on the small ship. You go to use the facilities but stop and look at yourself in the mirror. You stare at your vastly altered hair. Since your hair had been braided so uniquely, when you cut it the hair has become wildly uneven. The ends are singed. How did your hair not catch fire?

Seeing that the mirror is the kind that doubles as storage, you open it. You notice a grooming kit. You snort piecing together that this is why Poe maintains his good looks and styled hair. Opening it you find scissors. You pull them out then close the mirror. Inhaling, you bring the scissors to your hair and begin to trim off the sing and to even the edges. Your hair fills the sink but you don’t care very much about the mess. Finishing, you lower the scissors and look at yourself. It is much shorter than before but…it looks good. It looks different. Maybe this will help in hiding you from those Knights. 

You put away the scissors and clean the hair out of the sink. You use the facilities, wash your hands and go out to return to the copilot seat. 

“You cut your hair more,” Poe notices. 

“Yes. I used your grooming kit. I hope you don’t mind.”

He runs his eyes over your face and hair. He smiles. 

“With you looking this beautiful, I don’t mind at all.”

You roll your eyes and look away but this does not prevent blush from coming to your cheeks. Poe enjoys your reaction. You feel a sudden chill come over you. You feel something against your cheek. It is familiar but it disappears. It is strange. 

“Is something wrong?” Poe notices your perplexed face. 

“It’s nothing. Um, I’m very tired. Is there a place to sleep?” You ask looking behind you into the hull of the ship.

“Uh, yeah. There’s a cot that folds out of the wall over there,” Poe points out the spot. 

“Thanks,” You get up and walk over to the back wall. You unlatch the foldable cot. It’s not as nice as the bunkbeds of Han’s ship and definitely not as nice as Kylo’s bed, but it is better than sleeping on the floor. You lay down and close your eyes. You need to rest. Your day has been absolutely crazy. You just found out your pregnant with twins! You gained more money than you ever imagined. You killed one of the richest men in Canto Bight. You jumped out of a fucking window onto a Fathier and escaped the Knights of Ren. Then you snuck onto a ship and have slightly convinced this random, sexy Resistance pilot to fly you to Naboo because you are pretending to be apart of the Resistance. You really need to rest. 

You do your best to clear your mind and relax your body. You feel yourself drifting. As you drift you hear something. You hear a voice. It sings softly as if it was not meant to be heard but you like it. It is soothing. 

Everything is still and calm. You are welcomed by the peace only granted by sleep. 

A violent shake that nearly throws you off the cot to the floor wakes you. You are able to grip the cot to prevent your fall. 

“What is going on?” You yell up to Poe. 

“Someone just shot at us!” He answers. You get up and come to the co-pilot seat right as another shot is fired. Poe turns the ship to avoid being hit. You are thrown about when he does but finally reach the chair. You take a seat. 

“Who is shooting at us?” You ask. 

“Those guys,” He points ahead to a Oubilette-class transport ship. “They flew passed us then turned around to start shooting.”

“Why?” You just don’t understand. 

A light flashes on the console. BB-8 beeps that there is an incoming transmission. Poe and you exchange confused looks before he turned the switch to answer the transmission. 

“Hello?” Poe speaks. 

“This is Vicrul of the Knights of Ren. You are harboring our master’s apprentice Sly on your ship. Surrender her to us and you will be spared,” The man on the other side of the transmission lays out the problem. Poe looks at you. You swallow and keep your eyes away from his. 

“Hello?” Poe speaks as if he still has not heard from the knight. 

“What are you doing?” You mouth to the pilot who begins pressing different buttons. 

“Did you not hear me? This is Vicrul of the Knights of Ren. Give us Sly or die,” Vicrul gives the simpler ultimatum. 

“Hello? Is anybody there?” Poe keeps feigning a lack of communication. 

“This is Vicrul of the Knight of Ren!” Vircul’s anger is not masked. 

“Since nobody is there I am going to sign off,” Poe goes to turn the switch. 

“Turn us off and-” Vicrul begins but Poe turns off the communications. 

“Hang on,” Poe looks to you then punches it. Into hyperspeed the skipper jumps over the area above the Night Buzzard. You grip the armrests with eyes closed and clench your teeth. Breaking out of the hyperspeed, you can untense.

“You okay, buddy?” Poe asks the droid that beeps an affirmative.

You look over to Poe who scowls at you. He’s pulled his gun again.

“I knew you were lying to me. Who are you? How did those guys know you were on my ship?” He presses the tip into your stomach. A shot might not kill you there but it will kill your unborn. 

“Put the gun away and I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” You point to the gun. 

“Who are you, Sly?” He his deep eyes lock on yours as he says your apprentice name. 

“I’ve been many things. But currently, I am just a runaway apprentice trying to meet my best friend on Naboo. Please move the gun,” You request again. He does not move it. 

“What sort of apprentice gets hunted down by the Knights of Ren?” 

You press your lips together before answering. 

“I am learning to wield the force from my master who is their leader…Kylo Ren,” You watch anger and fear come on his face at the name drop. BB-8 makes fearful noises.

“So, you work for the First Order. You sent some sort of communication to those asses to come once you knew I was in the Resistance, didn’t you?” He presses the gun into your abdomen hard. His finger hovers over the trigger. 

“No! Please, move the gun away. I will tell you everything. Just move the fucking gun away!” You shriek. Poe pulls the weapon back but keeps it pointed at you. 

“Tell me. Do you work for the First Order?”

“No. Not anymore.”

“What do you mean not anymore?” Poe is not satisfied with the answer. 

“I’ve been a trooper my whole life. FN-1971,” You give away the old call sign. 

“They were said you were an apprentice,” He points out the difference in positions.

“Yes. I showed that I can wield the force so I was chosen to be an apprentice to Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader Snoke gave met he name Sly and my position.”

“Snoke…” Poe says the name with disgust much like Han did. 

“But I left the First Order. I left Kylo Ren,” You feel a deep ache only when you say your master’s name.

“Why?” 

“Because…” You can’t tell me it is because Kylo broke your heart and you saw an opportunity to get you and your best friend free so she can live her life and you can get stronger and therefore show Kylo you are worthy of his love. Of course, now, you also want to be free to have your children and have them be free from the First Order. 

“I left because I wanted a different life. My best friend did too. We were given the opportunity to run away so we did. We got separated on Canto Bight but we are going to meet on Naboo. I made sure her pilot is taking her there to meet me.”

“Why are these Knights of Ren chasing you? How did they find out you were on my ship?” Poe gets back to the rather current problem. 

“I guess my master sent them after me. They almost had me in the casino but I escaped and found your ship. I don’t know how they found out I was on here though. Maybe they are just stopping every ship near Cantonica like the First Order did when I fled Dantooine,” You bite your tongue having given away that the First Order is also after you. 

“The First Order is looking for you as well?” Poe is growing a tad overwhelmed. 

“Yes. My master is a commander in the First Order as you probably know. He has them looking for me and my friend since we are ‘deserters’.” 

“How do I know that you are telling me the truth and that you aren’t leading them all to me by some communication device or tracking device?” Poe still has his doubts. 

“All I have on me is the lightsaber I’m letting you hold, this credits card and this piece of paper. I don’t even have shoes,” You pull out the other items hidden in your dress. 

“You could be hiding something else on you,” He crosses his arms but somehow keeps the gun aimed at you. 

“Will this prove it?” You stand up making Poe uncross his arms. 

“What are you-”

You briskly remove your dress exposing your full naked self to him. His cheeks turn a bright red as his eyes don’t know where to go. You turn around showing you have nothing else on you. BB-8 makes a revving sound. 

“Do I seem to be hiding anything now, Mr. Dameron?” You keep your arms spread. 

“N-” His voice cracks and he coughs to clear his throat before resuming a deeper voice, “No.”

You pull up your dress and cover yourself once more. You tuck away your card and photo. You sit back down. Poe is still blushing. 

“So, now that I have been so open and honest with you, do you think that we can continue this journey without the gun pointing and with my lightsaber back in my possession?” You ask and holding out your hand to receive your weapon. Poe holsters the blaster but does not pull out your lightsaber. 

“My lightsaber, please, Mr. Dameron,” You keep your hand out toward him. He slips it out and holds it in his hand. He hesitates to hand it over.

“Call me Poe,” He hands it over. 

“Thank you…Poe,” You are sure to call him by his first name. 

“What do you want me to call you? Sly, Meia, FN-1971?” He lists the various names you have possessed. He lacks your true name though. But you can’t let him call you that. Only Ben can call you by your true name. 

“I’d prefer for you to call me Meia,” You answer. 

“Okay, Meia.” 

“Now, I’m going to go back to get some sleep. Wake me if there is any more trouble,” You get out of the chair and head back to the cot. You lie down with your lightsaber in your hands. BB-8 makes faint noises. 

“I can’t believe she did that either,” You hear Poe whisper, “But I did like it.”

BB-8 rolls against Poe’s leg as if to hit him in a scolding way. 

“Hey, if she were that droid IVEE you would’ve like it too,” Poe points his finger at the droid that rolls away still feeling a bit more moral than his human friend. 

Knowing what they are talking about, you blush. You can’t believe you did that. But if it that will keep Poe from not trusting you then it was worth it. It was funny to see his reaction as well. He’s probably seen naked girls before…still his reaction was cute. He was blushing so much. You want to giggle but control yourself. You need to sleep after all. 

You close your eyes as you cradle your lightsaber. The ship is quiet besides the hum of the engine. As you are about to slip, you hear the singing again. You open a single eye and look toward the source of the sound. It is Poe who sings to himself. You can’t hear all the words but his voice is rich and lulling. 

“Fare thee well, oh honey, fare thee well,” you hear over and over before finally losing consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, I did borrow Poe's stalling bit from The Last Jedi. XD  
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I plan to keep updating as fast as I can.


	38. Kylo's Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! You guys are the best!  
> WARNING: There is some emotional manipulation in this chapter. If this is something that will upset you then please just skip the chapter. If you do read this chapter, please enjoy!

Chapter 38

Having docked in the bay, Kylo exits the command shuttle. The troopers and officers in the bay stand at attention and salute the commander General Hux walks down the path made by the separated underlings. He walks straight toward the commander. 

“Commander Ren,” Hux addresses the masked man and turns with him as Kylo does not stop walking. 

“Whatever you want, General Hux, I am sure it can wait till the morning,” Kylo feels the fatigue from his journey as he has not slept since you left. 

“Do you really want me to tell Supreme Leader Snoke to wait to speak with you?” Hux lets out who seeks Kylo’s presence. Kylo stops at the elevator wit Hux still by him. Kylo has no desire to see his master but if he does not, there will be very negative repercussions. 

“I will speak to him,” Kylo enters the elevator. He presses the button that will send him to the floor where he will have to meet his master. Hux starts to enter the elevator but Kylo makes the doors shut before Hux can. 

When the doors open again, Kylo does not shy away from going straight to the room where often he speaks with the supreme leader’s hologram. The doors open for Kylo. He almost stops when he sees Snoke before him in the flesh sitting in throne at the top of the stairs. But to stop would make the Supreme Leader think Kylo did not want to see him. 

“Master,” Kylo kneels at the bottoms of the stairs. 

“Rise, Kylo Ren,” Snoke croaks the order. Kylo stands up straight and looks up to his master. He wait for the supreme leader to speak first. 

“Where have you been my apprentice?” Snoke inquires. 

“I went to Dantooine,” Kylo answers. 

“To find Sly?” Snoke brings up the runaway. 

“Yes.”

“She was not there?” Snoke phrases it as a question though they both know the answer. 

“No.”

“Is that why you went to Dathomir?” Snoke brings up the second planet on your journey. Kylo swallows not wanting to admit that he did. 

“Answer me, boy,” Snoke hisses. 

“I did go to Dathomir.” 

“I told you to never go there!” 

“I know, Master, but-”

“But what, child? Did you think you could reason with the spirits of the Nightsisters and use their magick?” Snoke guesses.

“Yes. And I did,” Kylo is not sure if it is fatigue or just his annoyance with his master that makes him snap out the answer. Snoke’s blue eyes grow. 

“You did?” 

“Yes, I had them find-”

“Skywalker,” Snoke begins to smile, his eyes excited at the thought of having finally located the old Jedi. 

“No…” Kylo answers quietly. The Supreme Leader’s disappointment is as evident as the smile that has been lost on his twisted face. 

“No? Who did they find?” Snoke pauses then shakes his head as if disgusted. “Sly.”

Kylo does not speak up. 

“Where is she then?” Snoke keeps up with the questions. 

“Traveling in space with a Resistance pilot,” Kylo answers. His anger is not lost on Snoke who purses his lopsided lips. He leans forward in his throne.

“A Resistance pilot?”

“Yes,” Kylo remembers the face of this handsome man. He wishes he could crush his throat. 

“You hate this pilot,” Snoke states that is obvious only in Kylo’s mind. 

“He is a part of the Resistance.”

“You fear he will have the affections of Sly,” Snoke snickers. Kylo does not enjoy Snoke’s light mocking. Snoke stops sensing this. 

“You should not care for Sly. She is a traitor to the First Order. She is a traitor to you as well. I see now in your mind her promises that she made. She broken them and after claiming love for you,” Snoke has invaded the specific thoughts in Kylo’s mind. Kylo burns with his growing anger. Snoke rises from his seat and descends the stairs. The tail of his gold robe drags behind him.

“I should have known she would try to use you. Women are like that. They claim to love you and make their pretty promises. But when they get what they want out of you, they discard you like that,” Snoke snaps his fingers to show the quickness. He reaches his student. Kylo heeds the words his master speaks. 

“Sly used you. She used you to teach her to gain power. Now that she thinks she has it, she has left you and found this new man. Who would have thought she would be so devious?” Snoke shakes his head again disgusted by your actions. He puts his gargantuan hand on Kylo’s shoulder. He feels the young man’s muscles tighten to stone beneath it. 

“You must remember, Kylo, I am your only friend. I am the only one you can trust. No one will ever care for you the way that I do,” Snoke reminds him. 

“I know, master. I just thought that she really…” Kylo stops himself. 

“Loved you?” Snoke finishes the sentence with a cruel laugh. He removes his hand from Kylo’s shoulder. 

“Don’t delude yourself, boy. She knew what she was saying. She wanted you to trust her. She wanted you to weaken yourself. Never forget that love is a weakness. It is not for you.” Snoke’s words are cold but strike hard like an icicle to the chest. Kylo knows that he must believe what Snoke says. He is the more powerful one after all. 

“Now that you know the truth of her, you must never give into her tricks. Embrace these feelings of anger you hold toward her. Let it fuel you. You will find that hating her will be more powerful than loving her.” Snoke continues to advise. 

“I will, Master.”

“Make sure that when you find her, you bring her to me then I will let you strike her down. That is the only way she will never betray you or the First Order again,” Snoke gives the death order. Kylo accepts it with a nod. 

“And the pilot?” Kylo does not forget the other man.

“Question him to get what you can then kill him, in anyway you want,” Snoke gives permission. 

“Now, go and rest. We will resume your training in the morning,” Snoke turns around to begin his ascension back to his throne. Kylo turns around and leaves the room. 

Returning to his quarters, Kylo knows he should shower but he has no desire to stay up any longer. He removes his clothes and his mask. He puts his helmet on the desk. The impact makes the drawer open slightly. Kylo goes to close it but his eye is drawn to the book beneath the paper. It is barely exposed but he sees it. Pulling out the Cosmos Sutra, he opens it to the bookmark he has made out of the underwear he stole from you. He doesn’t look at the page. He just takes the pair of panties, closes the book, and returns it to the desk. He stares at the white cloth that once covered your ass. 

Clenching the underwear in his fist, he brings it up to his face. Alone with it he sniffs it. Your scent is still heavy in it. His mind is filled with the memory of you. His naked cock begins to stiffen. He pulls your panties away. He knows he shouldn’t allow himself to get aroused by the thought of you. You left him. You used him. You lied to him. When he finds you, he will be the one to kill you. He will after he brings you to Snoke, of course. Before he gives you over though, he will make sure you regret what you’ve done. 

Kylo thinks of you, your hands bound together above your head. You will dangle naked from the hook he will hang you on. Your toes will barely touch the ground to support you. Nothing will be hidden from his view. 

Kylo’s hand grips his cock as he closes his eyes to imagine you more.  
He won’t be gentle with you. He’ll take his lightsaber and beat your ass with it. He’ll enjoy it as you cry out in pain as well as when your ass cheeks shake with the hits. He’ll spin you around so he sinks his teeth into your breasts as he spreads your legs. He’ll take the hilt of his lightsaber and begin to push it against your entrance. 

“No! Please!” You’ll begin to beg him to spare you the hilt. 

“By your cock not your lightsaber. Please,” He remembers the previous plea you made. Kylo bites his lower lip imagining your begging. He brings the panties back to his nose wanting the smell of you to increase the fantasy. He sits on his bed now with his member still in his hand. 

He’ll give you his cock alright. But not right away. He’ll get rid of the lightsaber. He’ll unhook you which will give you the hope he will lay you down to fuck you. But no. He’ll turn you upside down. He will hold you so that your face is right at his erect cock and your wet cunt will be close to his. Your legs will wrap around his neck and his arms will stay around your waist. 

You’ll open your mouth and shove himself inside it. He will thrust in and out as hard and as deep as he wants. You’ll gag and choke but he won’t care. He’ll be busy tormenting you pussy with his teeth and tongue. You’ll moan and whimper even with your mouth full of his cock. 

Kylo feels himself about to go over just at the thought of those little sounds. 

Kylo plans to pull himself out of your mouth just before he cums. He will stop eating your tasty pussy and drop you to the floor. With you gasping and staring up at him from the floor, he will grab ahold of his cock just as he does now. He will stroke your saliva over this throbbing dick and then all over your face he’s going to-he’s going to-

“Fuccccck,” Kylo cums, his seed spurting all over himself. He lays back panting, your panties still against his face. He throws his arms down to either side of himself. His mind still thinks of you. 

He sees your face covered in his cum. You smile at him. Damn right you’ll smile. You love his cum after all. He’ll cover all of you in his cum. Then that fucking pilot will know you are Kylo’s. You are his and only his. In fact, he’ll make sure that he fucks you right in front of the pilot. He’ll make the pilot watch you suck Kylo’s cock, as you beg for him to fuck you, and when you cum over and over again because of Kylo and Kylo alone. Then he’ll kill the pilot right in front of you. He’ll kill any man who even attempts to entice you away from him again.

Kylo stops. He should not allow himself to think of you as someone he will keep in his life. Once he fucks you and turns you over to Snoke, he will kill you. He will end this hold you have over him. You are a liar after all. You lied about your loyalty and you love. He cannot forgive you for betraying him just like everyone else he has ever loved. 

Loved? No. He doesn’t love you. He cannot love you. He cannot.

Kylo sits up and looks to your balled-up panties in his hand. He throws it away from him as it will throw away these feelings from him as well. He gets up and goes to shower. Once clean he returns to the bed. He waves his hand to turn off the light. He gets in the bed intending to just fall asleep. He lays on his side. He faces the other side of the bed where you slept. He rolls over. He will not think of your past together. He will only think of the future, the future where he will kill you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is a little shorter than usual but I hope you guys liked Kylo's perspective/experience. I also hope you guys liked the little smut I included. :)


	39. The Journey to Naboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, Readers. Thank you all for your comments and over 600 kudos! I'm so thrilled. Please, enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 39

You wake gasping and sitting straight up. You check your wrists then touch your face. There is no rope around your wrists and your face has nothing on it. You look around and find yourself still on Poe’s ship not some dark, dank prison cell. You still have your red dress on and your lightsaber in your hands. You do feel a dampness in your lower region though. You have to guess that the dream you just had aroused you. 

Though Kylo was rough with you and the idea of being held upside down as you choked on his cock is a bit scary, you wish it were real. You wish you were back with him. You wish you were back to fucking every day and getting to spend any amount of time with him that you could. But you know you can’t give into these wishes or desires yet. 

“Good morning,” Poe greets huskily as he walks out from the bathroom.

“Good morning,” You return the greeting and watch him return to his pilot’s chair. You feel your stomach hurting. You know it must be the twins.

“Did you sleep alright?” He asks turning his chair around so he can sit and look at you. 

“Yes. I did. Did you fly the whole night?” You get off the cot and come toward the co-pilot chair hoping the walk might ease the urge to purge. Poe turns his chair as take the seat so he stays facing you. You start to feel your stomach bubbling but you think you can keep it down.

“Yeah. I kind of had to since I figured you’d not like me crawling into the cot with you last night. Unless, that is something you wouldn’t mind…” He raises and eyebrow curls up the corner of his mouth suggestively. 

“Blegh!” You vomit before you can stop yourself. Poe gags seeing the bile spray onto his shoes and the floor. You cover your mouth and feel your cheeks burn in embarrassment. 

“You could have just said ‘no’,” Poe half jokes. 

“I am so sorry! I get motion sickness. I didn’t mean to! I’m sorry!” You apologize not sure what to do.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Poe stands up but doesn’t move out of the vomit pool. 

“I’m really sorry,” You stare it. 

“It’s fine. I’ve been covered in worse. Just go to the bathroom. BB-8 and I will clean this up,” Poe keeps a smile that actually makes you feel slightly better. You get up and do your best not to step barefoot into what you’ve spewed. You pass the round droid that comes to help Poe. 

In the bathroom, you feel another wave coming. You make into the toilet this time. You clean yourself up like Poe said to do. You splash the water on your face and the back of your neck. You wish you had something to get the puke taste out of your mouth. You tuck your lightsaber into the band on your dress so it rests between your breasts as well since you have no pockets. 

You leave the bathroom and see the mess has been cleaned. You come to Poe who wipes his hands on a rag. 

“I’m really sorry about that,” You apologize once more. 

“It’s fine. Really,” Poe steps toward the cot you occupied all night. He lifts it up then moves to the box of rations near it. He moves the box from atop it before opening the rations box. He pulls out two pouches. He tosses one to you. You look at it. It is very similar to the rations you and the others of the First Order eat.

“Make sure to eat all of it. You need your strength after all,” He rips his open with his teeth. You open yours with your hands and sit down in the co-pilot chair. Poe comes back to his. You both eat in silence. Though the blue sludge tastes a bit too tart, it is better than the bile taste you had previously. 

You look out the window at the many starts then see a dusky, copper tinted planet in the distance. Behind hit is what looks like a large storm clouds. You know exactly where you are. You squeeze your empty pouch recalling the beautiful queen, her harem of fearless fighters, the hand to hand combat, the attempted murder, and the words Kylo said. 

‘You could offer me all of Kessel and every night of your life, and I would not give her to you.’

“You’re not going to fly so close to Kessel, are you?” You realize his growing proximity to the planet. 

“Yeah. Why? Should I not be?”

“You shouldn’t unless you want to be caught by the First Order?” You know of the change of power. Poe looks at you shaking his hair and gaining a patronizing smile. 

“Kessel is a neutral planet. In fact, I’ve been there a few times myself and never have had a skirmish with the First Order. This is made sure by their Queen.” He acts as if he is educating you. 

“Their queen guarantees this?” You ask in order to see how smug he can get. 

“Yes. She helps who ever will pay her the just like in Canto Bight. I know as a former trooper you are probably prone to think that the First Order has control over every planet but they don’t,” He pats your shoulder keeping up his sense of superiority. 

“Actually, the First Order does their best to properly educate us on what planets are under their control and which ones are not. As of a few weeks ago, the First Order took over Kessel,” You begin to correct him. 

“I think that’s some propaganda they’ve been feeding you. Kessel is still under the rule of Queen Moxa of the Yaruba family. She is-” 

“Dead.” You finish the sentence making Poe stop. 

“Dead?” He repeats the word struggling to believe you. 

“She is dead. Kessel is now under the control of the First Order.”

“That can’t be. I was just there like a month ago,” He furrows his brows still not believing in you. 

“It is true. I was there. It was about a month ago that my master and I came. The Queen tried to kill us so my master killed her. Kessel is not the First Order’s,” You summarize the events quickly. 

“But no one has said anything about the change of power,” Poe still tries to think himself right. 

“I guess the First Order has not announced it so they can trap cocky rebels like you,” You lift your jaw up to hold your head with the superiority you now have as the more informed person in the pilot. Poe absorbs the new information. 

“I need to tell the Resistance of the change so they too won’t fall into this trap,” Poe decides.

“You probably should. But we will have to pass by first without being detected,” You remind him of the current problem. 

“Yes. I guess we will have to go through the Maw,” Poe points to the storm clouds beyond the planet. You remember the Maw. You remember sitting on Kylo’s lap as he spun and whipped around the stormy course. You held onto him so tightly since you were in his lap. You were so afraid but Kylo…he was so pleased to fly. 

“The Maw…that is not an easy way to go,” You are unsure if this pilot could do as well as Kylo did. 

“I know. But I am the best pilot in the Resistance, so don’t have to be afraid, honey,” He winks and brags on himself. Unlike the confident vibrato in his voice when he spoke highly of himself, ‘honey’ comes out as sweet as the substance itself. You heard him sing last night as well. You should not like it but it does sound nice. 

“I am not afraid of the Maw. I’ve been through it before,” You don’t want him to think you a nervous cowardice. 

“You have?” His surprise is apparent on his face and in his voice. 

“With my master.”

Poe chuffs. 

“Well, if Kylo Ren could fly through it then it will be a breeze for me,” Poe flatters himself. The slight against Kylo makes you want to insult Poe but you hold your tongue. You don’t need to beat down his self confidence when he is about to try to fly you through the Maw. 

“Do you have anything that I could use as a seatbelt?” You change the subject slightly. 

“I’m sure I have some rope or something in the back,” He points over his shoulder.

You get up to find something to help secure yourself. You pass BB-8 who heads toward the engine area. You look about the cabin and find various ropes and cables. You take a rope and return to Poe. As you fashion a seatbelt, you look over to Poe who is smiling to himself. It reminds you of Kylo’s when he was flying in the Maw. Do pilots really like flying into dangerous places. 

“You secure, buddy?” Poe looks back for the droid. He is locked into a station and beeps that he is secure. Poe turns back around to look at the storm he is back to fly into. You grip the armrests and lean back as if you can make yourself still enough that you won’t feel it when he flies. 

“Ready?” Poe looks over at you excitedly. 

“Yes.”

* * *

You are able to make it to the bathroom to vomit after Poe clears out of the Maw. You know this time you are sick really due to motion sickness. The ride with Poe was much rougher than the one with Kylo. He jerked, barrel rolled, flipped and had an issue with stopping suddenly then jetting off again. It was agony. 

You wash your mouth out before going back to Poe. 

“I’m sorry,” Poe surprises you when you sit down. 

“You’re sorry?”

“I forgot about your motion sickness. I could have been a bit…gentler.” His large brown eyes do hold genuine regret. 

“It’s fine. If you hadn’t flown like that, we probably would have not made it out as well as we did,” You are not sure why but you don’t want him to feel bad about making you sick. You also do believe he needed to fly like that. He is not as great a pilot as Kylo but you won’t tell him that, at least not right now. Poe replaces his regret with something else but you’re not quite sure what it is but it is nice. 

“Now, that we’re out we’re just a half a day and a hyperspeed skip away from Naboo,” Poe gives you the updated timeline. 

“Great. I can’t wait to be on solid ground,” You lean back in chair holding your still sore stomach. 

“And I can’t wait to sleep,” Poe remarks. You remember now that he did not sleep at all last night unlike you. You notice that while you were in the bathroom that he has gotten a new ration pouch. He must be fueling himself to keep awake. You would feel bad for making him keep flying but it’s not like you can fly the ship if he goes to sleep. Jyn was the special FN Corps member trained for that since she scored highest on knowledge about ships on the testing. 

“What do you plan to do on Naboo once you get there and reunite with your friend?” Poe suddenly gets personal. 

“Um…” You have to think. There is a limit to what you want him to know. He’d probably shoot you now if he learned that you want to get training and go back to Kylo. And you don’t want him to know you are pregnant either so you can’t mention any of that either. 

“Well, I want to help my friend find her lover’s family. She can assure them that he is alive and she can maybe be accepted into their family. I’d like for her to have a family,” You think of Jyn. You imagine her surrounded by people who look like FN-0878-no, his name Robal. He is Robal. 

“But what about you? What will you do with your freedom?” Poe focuses on you. 

“I don’t know,” You shrug. 

“You don’t know?”

“No. I guess I’ll try to learn more about the force and stuff like that. But I don’t really know,” You keep up the pretense but add some truth.

“You could join the Resistance. As a former trooper and having worked closely with Kylo Ren, the knowledge you have would be of great service to us,” Poe begins his pitch for your new career.

You know the Resistance would love to pick your brain for the information. But how quickly would they discard you when you are no longer useful? How would you grow in force power with these people? How would Kylo ever forgive you if he found you working for his enemies? He’s already going to pissed at you for leaving. Unless…you go to the Resistance and collect data on them and give it to Kylo upon your return. He’ll be more forgiving then. Maybe with your gained power and the knowledge of the Resistance, he’ll accept you and the twins too. But can you really be a double agent? 

“We’re not as rich as the First Order or have as much of their weaponry and men, but we’ve got something that they don’t.” Poe keeps on about the Order.

“And what is that, Poe?” You are curious. 

“We’ve got-oh shit!” Poe gasps as the ship shakes. You both brace yourselves as the ship keeps shaking. Alarms begin to sound. The ship begins to move backward.

“What is happening?” You don’t understand. 

“I don’t know.” Poe stands and looks at the many flashing, noisy lights. He tries to make the ship move forward but he is only met with defiance. The ship keeps moving back. BB-8 rolls up beeping. 

“Oh, no,” Poe shakes his head. 

“What is it?” You hate not knowing what is going on now. 

“The ship is compromised. There is a tether on us pulling us back into another ship,” Poe explains. 

“Who has us? Is the First Order? The Knights of Ren?” You give the two possible options that you dread. 

“I don’t know. But you better get ready to fight,” Poe grabs his blaster from it’s holster. You grab your lightsaber from your dress. Poe turns off the ship just at the larger ship closes the hatch to seal your ship inside of it. In the darkness you watch go behind the crate of ration to act as his cover. 

“You hide in there, buddy,” Poe points to the engine area. BB-8 rolls away to find a spot. You are not sure where to go. Poe waves for you to come to him. You come to his side. You stay low while he keeps peaking up to see who will come once the hanger opens. 

You try to make sure your breathing is steady. You need to remain calm. No matter who it is, you will fight to survive. 

Kshhhhhhhh. You hear the hanger open. Disunified footsteps approach. You know it isn’t the First Order. The troopers would be walking in sync. It is probably the Knights of Ren. 

The lights turn on shedding light on the ship. You look to Poe who looks at you. You realize how close your faces are now. His nose nearly hits yours. 

“There’s barely anything in here,” You hear someone speak in Sriluurian. You know the speak must be a Weequay then. 

“Captain’s not going to like that,” another speaks in Dug. You don’t recall seeing any of the Knight of Ren carrying themselves on their hands and being small like the Dug. They cannot be the Knights of Ren. Who are these people?

“Where is the pilot?” The Weequay finally notices there is not a person seen.

“Here!” Poe jumps up and begins firing. You hear the bodies dropping having been hit. 

“You can get up,” Poe offers his hand to you but keeps his eyes out for anyone else. You take it and stand up. You see a Weequay and a Dug on the floor dead just as you thought you would. 

“Let’s see if we can get untethered and get that hatch open for us to fly out,” Poe lets go of your hand and begins to walk to go down the ramp. 

You stay behind him with lightsaber lit now. He makes it down first and you see him lower his blaster. He looks back at you and shakes his head. He waves his hand for you to go back inside. As you start to back up you see two large, white haired Gigorans like you had seen before on Kessel. They grab ahold of Poe’s arms. 

You jump into action. You cut through one only for the other to grab you back the back of your neck. His fingers are long and large enough to circle around your neck and hold you up. His hand squeezes prepared to break your neck. You send your lightsaber back and into the chest of the one who intends to kill you. As he falls dead, you fall to your feet and stand next to Poe ready to fight anyone who dares. But you look around and see now what Poe saw. You see why he gave up so easily. You gulp taking in the hoard a vicious, weapon wielding pirates. 

The scowling pirates in the center of the hold part allowing a gold skinned Noorian to approach. Her green and gold striped eyes stay on you. Her body is completely covered in black leather except her face. Hanging around her neck, you recognize the glowing pendant that once belonged to Queen Moxa. You remember this golden skinned woman. A chill comes over your body. 

“Asharr?” You call her name. Her lips twist into a hateful smile. She starts to laugh. You see her eyes wince as laughing causes her obvious discomfort. Still she laughs. 

“I can’t believe it. Of all the things to catch, I’ve caught the bitch I hate most in the galaxy,” Her hands find her hips. She looks to her crew around her. “Good catch, boys.”

“Thank you, Captain,” They all speak then grow silent again. 

“You know her?” Poe leans close to you and whispers. 

“Unfortunately.” You remembered the woman who tried to kill you all for the sake of her lustful, vain queen. 

“You better turn off that light-up stick before I have you and this pretty boy shot, FN-1971,” Asharr points to your lightsaber and calls you by your trooper name. You turn of the lightsaber.

“Take the weapons and cuff them,” Asharr orders to no one in particular. A short, bald, orange skinned Dwuni comes and takes your lightsaber and Poe’s blaster. He keeps his fat four fingers around them tightly as he steps away. Another Dwuni puts cuffs on your hands and Poe’s. The cuffs share a chain between them which will make it impossible to do anything without bring Poe with you. 

“I almost didn’t recognize you with that horrible haircut. I bet you never thought you would see me again,” Asharr insults you first then gestures to herself. 

“No. I thought you were dead like the others.”

Asharr’s upper lip curls up into a snarl. 

“I bet you did. Your commander saw fit to kill everyone except Dr. Freeto Gartak,” Asharr spits after saying the name. Her spittle barely misses your foot. 

“Where is you commander?” She looks around.

“I don’t know.” 

“You don’t? I thought you were is personal bodyguard. Did he demote you?” She smirks at your apparent loss. 

“No. In fact, having watched me beat your ass, he promoted me.” Technically, you were promoted after Kessel but not because of your fighting against Asharr. You still enjoy seeing her smirk disappear. 

“Then why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with him?” Asharr still wants some clarity as to why you are without your commander. 

“Why does it matter so much to you if I am with him or not?” 

“Because I need to know where to send your head,” Asharr gives away her plan. She begins laugh as do her surrounding crew. You start to laugh which makes Asharr stop confused. Poe looks at you just as confused as the captain. The crew stops. Only you laugh. 

“Why are you laughing?” She growls. 

“Because you think my death would upset Commander Ren. He doesn’t give a fuck about me,” You keep your voice light and jovial although the words would be upsetting to you if you thought they were true. 

“He killed everyone because they tried to kill you. He obviously care about you,” Asharr pointed out. 

“It was all a ploy. He knew Queen Moxa would try to kill me. He knew to use that as an excuse to kill her and everyone else to take control of Kessel for the First Order,” You contrive a new cause. But you know that isn’t true. He did it because you were his and he wasn’t going to let anyone take you from him, not even death. 

“That bastard,” Asharr bares her fangs furious at this new theory. 

“So, killing me will do nothing to upset Commander Ren. In fact, it will be doing him a favor since I’m a traitor the First Order now,” You keep coming up with reasons she shouldn’t kill you. 

“You’ve betrayed the first Order?” 

“Yes. Why else would I be with a Resistance pilot,” You gesture to Poe. Asharr looks at Poe. 

“Are you really Resistance, flyboy?” She gets in Poe’s face.

“Yes,” He corroborates. Asharr’s striped eyes go back to you. They stare hard and hateful.

“Killing you will do nothing to hurt Kylo Ren, so I guess I won’t kill you yet,” Asharr heeds your words. You like that she has given into your lies. You want to smile but you don’t want her to know she’s been tricked. 

“But I will make sure you suffer. Put them in a cell,” Asharr turns around. Two gray pykes take ahold of you and Poe. Asharr looks over her shoulder at you. She starts to smile cockily. 

“We will sell them at the slavre market on Tatooine,” Asharr gives away her plans for you.

You and Poe are led away into the bowels of the ship. You two are tossed together into a dank, dark cell without a cot, toilet or window. Fortunately, Poe’s body cushions your fall. You get off him as quickly as you can. You both sit on the floor with hands bound. 

“So, how do you know the captain?” Poe is still not sure of the relationship. 

“On Kessel, Queen Moxa and Commander Ren had their bodyguards fight. I beat Asharr in battle. Queen Moxa attempted to have me killed. Commander Ren slaughtered everyone and I recovered. I guess, Asharr somehow survived and became captain of these pirates,” You are quick with the information and assumption. 

“I thought you were Kylo Ren’s apprentice?” Poe cannot follow the different positions you have given him. 

“I was a trooper then Commander Ren’s body guard _then_ I became his apprentice,” You give the process.

“You have a very interesting past, honey,” Poe scratches his head. He calls you that nickname again. 

“You don’t even know the half of it,” You mumble. 

“Well, I think I’ll get some shut-eye before we get sold into slavery,” Poe starts to lay down in the cell. 

“You’re going to go to sleep? Shouldn’t we try to figure a way out of here?” You are surprised by his lack of desire to plot and plan. 

“My ship is probably being torn apart of scraps so I can’t fly it out. We’d probably be caught before could reach the ship. We don’t have our weapons. We’d be killed easily. And things will work out. BB-8 will stay in hiding to protect himself. Once we get to Tatooine, he can sneak off the ship and contact the Resistance members on Tatooine. We probably won’t even get sold before my friends come for us. So, I’m going to go sleep so when the time comes, I won’t be too weak,” Poe puts his hand’s behind his head to make a pillow. Your hand jerks as this pulls the chain. His plan makes sense but it does not satisfy you. There are so many things that could go wrong. His friends could not show up. You or both of you could be sold immediately to someone who leaves the planet quickly. Asharr could change her mind about selling you and kill you instead. 

“You’re thinking about what can go wrong, aren’t you?” You hear Poe. You look back at him. His eyes are closed and his hands are still under his head. 

“How did you-” 

“Know? Easy guess. I’m sure your training has caused you think of many outcomes for different situations,” Poe yawns, “My superior officers probably wish I did that. But I choose to hope for the best.”

“Because that’s smart,” You mumble to yourself sarcastically as you rest your chin on your hands and your raised knees support your elbows. You see his lips curling up having heard your comment. 

“Thanks, _honey_ ,” He says the nickname with a slight exaggeration as you are not exactly being sweet like honey to him. You look away from the pilot. You stay quiet as talking to this optimist will only anger the realist in you. 

Over the next few hours, Poe sleeps soundly. You give up sitting up and lie down next to him. You stare at the ceiling. This whole thing with Asharr mixed with the sexual dream you had last night, only makes you think of Kylo. You miss the fucking, of course. Why else would you have that vivid dream? But you also miss him. You miss his care and his protection. You miss the way he made you know you were his and no one could make that change. 

Your mind goes to this Tatooine future. You could end up a slave there forever. If you do then you’ll never be reunited with Kylo. Your children will be born slaves as well. They could be sold away or killed. You cannot let this happen. You have to return to Kylo and keep your children safe. 

You look over at Poe. He sleeps so peacefully. He is fully confident that his plan will work. 

“You better be right.”


	40. Parley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you again for the comments and kudos. I am so sorry that it has been a while since I've posted. I had a friend visiting and so I had no time to write. But here is the next chapter. Please, enjoy!

# Chapter 40

One of the many things you found disgusting about the cell you share with Poe besides the darkness, is how the floor has somehow become moist over the process of the hours. At first you feared that Poe pissed himself and the urine had leaked all over the floor but upon inspection of his pants you found him to be clean. After smelling the liquid, you believe that the cell must be above the engine room and the liquid is condensation permeating through the floor. Still you lie on the floor by Poe as there is not much else you can do since you can’t move too far as you two are bound together.

Another thing you’ve grown to attest are the shiny brown insects that scurry about looking for nourishment. They no longer come near you or Poe after you smashed several with your fists. You cleaned your fists off on your dress at is has already been ruined by the floor and your escape form Canto Bight.

The air filtering through the tiny slats on the ceiling is cold. It has gradually made your damped skin prickle. You try not to think of your chills as it will only make you colder. You are envious of Poe’s jacket now.

You hear footsteps approaching the cell. You sit up wondering if it is Asharr, who may have changed her mind and intends to kill you. Instead you see a boy, probably in his late teens, with a patch on his left eye. His stringy brown hair keeps falling into his right eye making him keep tossing his head in order to flip it up and out of his way. He carries a tray with food and two glasses of green milk on it. You notice no keys on him but he could have some information about Asharr.

He stops when he sees you. You see his pale cheeks color. His eye that is currently not obstructed by his hair looks over you. You can tell he is attracted to you. This is something you can use to your advantage. You saw Kade Genti’s ex-girlfriend Q’irri seduce a guard to let her out before in the comic, of course she ended up getting killed by a different guard during the escape…Still, it won’t you to try to get some information from this boy. You just need to act like Q’irri.

“Hello,” You greet him coming as close as you can on your knees to the door without tugging the connecting chain too much. You don’t want to wake Poe yet.

You rest in your knees with your cuffed wrists resting on your lap. You squeeze your biceps together to make your nearly exposed breasts seem bigger. He swallows the lump in his throat.

“H-H-Hello,” He looks down and puts the tray on the floor. He opens the small door at he bottom of your cell door.

“Did you bring us food?” You try to talk to the boy.

“Yes. Captain’s orders,” he nods.

“Well, thank you. I’m very grateful,” You speak softly and hold eye contact with him. His cheeks darken more with color. You know he is attracted to you.

“I’m-I’m just doing my job,” He rubs the back of his neck and deters his eyes from you.

“Still, thank you...? Sorry, what’s your name?” You ask in an attempt to begin forming a bond with him.

“I’m not supposed to say,” He shakes his head.

“Oh? Why not?” You tilt your head to the side and bat your eyes.

“I’m not supposed to become familiar with prisoners,” He answers.

“Ah. That makes sense. I’m sure you get a lot of unsavory people in here,” You validate his reasoning then sigh, “But it is a pity I won’t get to put a name with your handsome face. Oh! I didn’t mean to say that.”

You pretend to be embarrassed by the “slip” up. He is absolutely red at your remark.

“Well, I-I would hate to deprive you of such a simple thing,” He gain a goofy sort of grin.

“Are you sure you want to tell me? I don’t want you to get in trouble,” You make sure to have him believe you are concerned for his well being and lean forward being your chest closer to the barrier between the two of you. He glances down then back to your face.

“It’s Katuu,” He give the name.

“Katuu? What a strong name,” You flatter him.

“What’s your name?” He asks in return.

“Meia,” You start to offer your hand out to shake but stop since you are cuffed and there is the cell’s door.

“Meia. That’s pretty.”

“Thank you. So, are you the only one trusted enough to run this part of the ship?” You turn the focus back on him.

“Oh, no. I just bring food to prisoners,” He is humble.

“That’s a very important job. Your crew wouldn’t be able to sell prisoners for high price if they are malnourished.”

“I guess you’re right.” Katuu gains a sense of pride in role.

“Your captain is very lucky to have you.” You try to guide the conversation to Asharr.

Katuu keeps smiling.

“Do you like your captain?”

“I guess. She hasn’t been captain for long.”

“Oh?”

“No. She somehow got on the ship a couple of weeks ago.”

“How did she become your captain so fast then?”

“Oh, she called a parley so our old captain Jubal O’Takka had to see her. The she challenged him to a duel. She killed him and as is the way of our crew she became the captain,” Katuu clues you in to the rise of Asharr.

“Wow. So, anyone can just challenge the captain to a duel?”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t though. I don’t need anymore signs of my failures,” he points to his eyepatch and lowers his head.

“It’s not a sign of failure. It’s a sign of victory. You survived and have carried on with your life. You must remember such victories,” You honestly try to encourage him. You recall Kylo’s words to you about your own scar you once thought of as a mark of failure.

“You think so?” He lifts his face.

“Yes.”

He smiles then loses it as his eyes go to Poe behind you.

“Is that guy your boyfriend?” He glares at the still sleeping man.

“Poe? No,” You shake your head.

‘Really?”

“Yes. He’s just my pilot,” You insist. Katuu begins to smile then looks down at the food on the tray.

“Katuu! Are you done delivering the food to the prisoners?” A voice booms in the distance.

“Yes!” Katuu yells back. He looks to you.

“Make sure only he eats,” Katuu whispers. Your eyebrow shoots up.

Katuu slides the tray through the opening at the bottom of the door. The force of his push causes one of the glasses to spill onto the floor as it comes inside. Katuu runs away as fast as possible. You look at the food.

What is wrong with this?

A loud yawn brings your attention to Poe. He sits up and stretches his arms straight up and together as his cuffs will not allow for any other movement. He looks around blinking before his dark eyes settle on you.

“Sleep well?” You ask though at no point did he seem to have trouble sleeping while you watched him. He nods his head affirmative. His eyes leave you and go to the tray of food Katuu left. He moves to your side quickly and grabs the tray.

“Oh, yes, they brought that for us. But-”

“Oh, they spilled that one glass of milk. I guess we will have to share,” He grabs the full glass.

“Yeah. Well, actually-”

“Do you mind if I drink it first. I’m so thirsty,” He starts to lift the glass of milk to his lips. In an instant, you notice two things. First, the milk spilled on the floor has become the beverage of the brown bugs of the cell. They begin to spasm then stop moving having drunk it. Poe has not noticed this.

“No!” You push Poe’s arms making him lose his grip. He drops the glass to the floor making the milk spill beside Poe.

“What the hell?” He snaps.

“Look!” You point to the bugs near the first pool of milk. Poe angrily watches then relaxes his face. He returns his eyes to your face.

“It’s poisoned. I wouldn’t eat anything on the tray,” You glance at the ration bread. Your stomach yearns for it but you don’t trust it, especially after Katuu’s warning.

“You saved my life,” Poe takes ahold of your hands gratefully. Then he eyes widen.

“What?” You look behind you thinking something may be there but there is nothing.

“Your hands. They’re so cold. And look, you’re shivering,” His hands rub yours. His calloused hands are so much warmer than yours. You had forgotten about the cold as your mind was concerned on getting information from Katuu. Realizing the temperature difference, you finally feel your body’s shaking attempt to warm your body. With your haircut your back is especially cold.

“I guess this dress wasn’t meant for places like this,” You look at the dress that currently provides no warmth.

“I’d give you my coat but I can’t get it off with these on,” Poe lift his cuffed wrists.

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine,” You insist then sneeze. You hate how your body likes to betray you.

“Come here. I can at least share my body warmth with you,” He motions for you to move close to him.

“No. You don’t have to do that,” You don’t move.

“Come on,” He gets up on his knees. He comes to you and lifts up his arm. He slides them over your head and pulls you against his chest. Instantly, you feel the heat of his body. He sits back down pulling you into his lap. His hands are like fire against your back.

“Get into my jacket,” He encourages. You put your hands and most of your arms inside. It is much warmer in it. You keep your face against his collar bone. As you breathe you are forced to inhale his scent of engine oil, spice and sweat. Sweat is the most prominent odor now. It’s not awful though.

“Is that better?” His chest vibrates against you as he asks.

“Yes, thank you,” You stay still. His arms are tight around you but you suppose he can’t help that since the chain and cuff limit certain ranges of motion. It is strange to be held like this by a man other than Kylo. Kylo’s arms are much longer as well but the firmness if the same. You hear a sniff.

“Are you sniffing me?” You lean away as you look at him.

“I didn’t know if the Tarisian Rose smell was coming from you or not. I was just checking,” He defends his action.

“It’s me so you don’t have to sniff around,” You lean back against him. You with your face so close to his neck you notice for the first time a silver chain. Curious, you look into his shirt that is slightly parted from his body. A silver ring hang on the end of it.

“What’s this ring?” You ask before thinking.

“Ring?” Poe pulls back a little then remembers what he wears and brings you back closer to him. “Oh, that’s my mother’s wedding ring.”

“Your mother’s wedding ring?”

“Yes. It was given to me after she died,” Poe shares, “I’m holding on to it till I find the right partner.”

“You haven’t found one?” You don’t know why your voice gives out so much surprise.

“No. Not yet. There were two I thought might be right but in they actually chose each other. Oskaar and Elvinra were married right before I left on my last mission,” He thinks of his former lovers. You are surprised at his romantic flexibility but you aren’t entirely. It is understandable that a man handsome like him would attract persons of any gender.

“I’m sure that you’ll find someone. You’re good looking after all,” You did not mean to compliment him.

“You think I’m good looking?” You feel his chest swelling with his ego. You roll your eyes.

“In some lighting,” You try to knock him down just a little. He snickers.

“Thanks. I think you’re rather good looking too even in this lighting.”

You lean your head back against him. Your face begins to heat up at his compliment of your looks but you don’t want him to see.

“Did you have a partner in the First Order like your friend?” Poe flips the query of romantic pasts onto you. You can’t let him see your face or know the truth. You’re sure he would try to strangle you instead of holding you if he found out you were Kylo Ren’s bedmate.

“My master believes love makes one weak so that was not something encouraged for me.”

“Kylo Ren, was your master, right?” He recalls.

“Yes. He’s my master,” You confirm.

“Meia, look at me,” Poe’s voice is full of authority. His arms go lax around you and his cuffed hands lift up to hold the back of your head. You lean back so you can look at his face.

“What?”

“Even though we are in this prison cell, you are free. You are free of the First Order. You are free of Kylo Ren. He is no longer your master. Don’t ever call him that again. You are free.” Everything of Poe’s voice and face express his earnest call for you to embrace your freedom. He is right except you will never be free of Kylo. His children grow in your womb and he remains in your heart and mind. Still, you suppose Poe is right that you should not refer to him as your master, at least, not in front of anyone else.

“You’re right. It’s just…hard for me to disregard such things,” You admit. His eyes are soft toward you.

“You’ll get there. And while you’re figuring all that out, the Resistance will be here to support you.”

“The Resistance?” Why would bring them up as your support group?

“You did tell the Captain that you were in the Resistance now. So, welcome,” He refers to the earlier confrontation with Asharr.

“Oh, I was just saying that to-”

“No. You’re Resistance now. Don’t fight it,” He refuses to let you say anything contradictory.

“We’ll see…But now, I’m getting cold. Could you hold me closer?” You change the subject and lean against him so you can hide your face by resting it on his shoulder. You put your hands and arms back into his jacket. He does as you request of him and the heat increases for you.

“Why did you join the Resistance?” You find yourself wondering.

“Well, both of my parents fought in the Rebellion against the Empire. They raised me to know that people should be free. We should have the liberty to make own decisions. We should choose where we live, where to work, what to do with our property and money, and who to…love,” His lips spread with the last word. Such freedom does sound nice. 

“We need government to provide structure and to make sure our wielding of our freedom doesn’t hurt other. But it should be built up by selected representatives who have the best interests of their people at heart. There are flaws in this, of course, but when they occur the people should be able to vote them out. The New Republic gives us this but the First Order seeks to destroy this. They want to take control of the galaxy. They want to take away the freedoms we have. They want to make all kowtow to their rules and restrictions. Surely, you know how life is under their heel?” Poe has to make you think of your past as a trooper. You know exactly how oppressive the First Order can be.

“Yes, I do.”

“The Resistance is here to protect the New Republic from falling to the First Order. We are trying to protect the galaxy from losing their rights to live freely. This is why I joined the Resistance,” Poe finishes his explanation. If this is what the Resistance fights for then…maybe it wouldn’t be such a terrible thing to be a part of. It would be nice to be able to have your children grow up in a world where they are free to make their own choices and not have to adhere to the strict regulations of the First Order. But how could you ever have him love you and forgive you with you being a part of it? Could you ever convince Kylo to be a part of it? And would the Resistance even welcome Kylo?

“Does the Resistance always accept those who turn from the First Order?” You inquire.

“If they are truly sincere. If they are not, I am sure General Organa would be able to sniff it out,” Poe thinks of his superior with great fondness.

“General Organa?” It sounds familiar.

“General Leia Organa, the former senator and former princess of Alderaan,” Poe gives more light on the woman’s background.

Kylo’s mother! She’s the leader of the Resistance! You realize. Surely, she would welcome her son to the Resistance. Maybe Kylo does not know that she is the leader. If he did then maybe he would rethink…but then again, their relationship is strained. So maybe he wouldn’t…But he loves her. I know he still does as he still loves his father. He could be swayed if she is included.

“I am sure General Organa will be very pleased to have you join us,” Poe thinks you are concerned about yourself.

“Pleased to pick my brain,” You mumble.

“That too.”

“Let’s see if they’re dead yet,” You two hear a gruff voice. Poe lets you go and you two separate from each other. You two sit up straight and stare at the door.

“What do we do if they aren’t dead?” You hear Katuu asking nervously.

“We’ll kill them. Captain Asharr wants to send the head of the girl to the First Order and the man is just a burden.”

“Why does she want the girl dead?”

“Weren’t you there when we caught her?”

“No. I was cleaning the cells.”

“They have some sort of petty history. But if Captain wants to send her head to the First Order then so be it.”

Katuu comes before the door along side a large, bald dome headed Bith. The Bith’s large, glassy black eyes easily detect that you and Poe are still alive. He pulls out his blaster.

“You need to finish the job, Katuu, since your food trick didn’t work,” the Bith hands the blaster over to Katuu. The boy holds it with a pity in his eye. He holds up toward Poe and aims it through the bars of the cell.

“Wait a minute. Surely, this can’t be right. Killing us will make us unable to be sold on Tatooine,” Poe tries to appeal the financial and logical side of the men.

“Captain wants you two dead and we aren’t even going to Tatooine anymore. We’re going to Takodana,” the Bith gives the true destination.

“Takodana!” You and Poe exclaim. Your jaw tightens. That is absolutely nowhere near Naboo! At least on Tatooine you could follow Poe’s plan.

“I’m sure we could work something else out. We have over a hundred thousand credits on us. Surely, we could arrange for us to disappear on a pod out of here,” Poe offers.

“Where are these credits?” The Bith puts his hand on Katuu’s blaster. Poe looks to you. You pull out the card from your dress. You hold it up. The Bith’s black eyes stare greedily then he stops himself.

“No. We can kill you then take your money,” He is much smarter than you would like. You tuck it back in and frown. You have to get out of this.

“Shoot them,” The Bith orders Katuu removing his hand from the blaster. Katuu aims it at Poe again. You must do something.

“Parley!” You yell startling the men including Poe.

“What?” The Bith turns his attention to you.

“Parley. We both want parley. Right?” You elbow Poe.

“Um…yeah…parley,” Poe glances at you not sure what this is about but goes along with it.

“Shoot them, Katuu,” the Bith ignores the claim of ‘parley’.

“I can’t, Wagu. They’ve claimed parley,” Katuu refuses. Wagu groans then sighs.

“Fine.” Wagu pulls out his key. He opens the cell door. He takes the blaster back from Katuu and points it back at the two of you.

“Get up. Let’s go.”

Out of the cell, You and Poe are sandwiched between Katuu and Wagu. Wagu keeps his gun pointed toward Poe as he is closest to him. You are kept by Katuu who is weaponless. You could take advantage of that but know you will not.

You look to Katuu as you walk in silence. He holds such a look in his eye. You know he fears what will happen once you reach Asharr. 

A few halls and stairs lead to a large room. Many of the crew form a circle on the broad floor. Toward the back of the circle is an ornate chrome chair where Asharr sits upright with her purple painted lips turned down at the sight of you.

“What are they doing here?” Asharr bares her fangs.

“They have demanded parley,” Wagu pushes Poe forward which makes you move forward as well.

“Parley…” Asharr repeats the word, “What do you want to speak to me about then, FN-1971?”

“First, I thought you were taking us to Tatooine not Takodana,” You bring up what you overheard. You see Asharr look to Wagu and Katuu as she knows they must have slipped up with this information.

“I changed my mind on our destination. Captain do it all of the time,” Asharr waves her hand.

“So that’s why you want us dead instead of selling us into slavery?” You bring up the other change. Asharr starts to grin.

“Having more time to think I realized, by taking your life I would actually be depriving Kylo Ren of what he wants. If I have you killed, he will never get the satisfaction. That is why I want to send your head to him. I tried to kill you nicely but I guess I will get to make it a little messier,” Asharr explains.

“Why kill me too then?” Poe asks about himself.

“You’re worth nothing to me,” Asharr turn her eyes briefly to Poe.

“Wow,” Poe releases the word under his breath.

“Now, I will have my men shoot you,” Asharr raises her hand. The others in the room raise their weapons to aim at you and Poe.

“No, you won’t,” You step up toward Asharr.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Because, I challenge you to a duel,” You state. Asharr begins to laugh.

“You challenge me?”

“Yes. I’ve beaten you before, I can do it again,” You keep confident. Asharr scowls.

“You will not beat me again. I will crush you,” Asharr stands up.

“You will try but this time, I will kill you,” You state very sure of yourself. Asharr purses her purple lips.

“Clear the floor and release her,” Asharr orders. Wagu steps forward and releases you from your bindings. You rub your wrists before rolling them around to increase the circulation. You notice the Dwuni who took your lightsaber and Poe’s blaster earlier. He has them attached to his belt. You wonder if this fight will be hand to hand or with weapons.

“You really want to do this?” Poe comes close to you. He takes a hold of your hands.

“How else can we go on, Poe?” You ask him.

“Good luck,” He pats your hands and steps back with Katuu and Wagu. You turn around and see Asharr stretching her neck. Her striped eyes focus on you.

“We will fight as we did on Kessel. But this time we fight to the death.” Asharr gives the rules.

“Fine by me,” You agree.

* * *

Dr. Ryza sits in her chair at her desk finally getting a seat after a very full day of treating a full sector of troopers and officers exhibiting the Vlu-Virus. She lays her head on the desk after she plugs her data pad into the main computer system. The computer begins to run the sample put into it by the pad. Dr. Ryza takes several deep breaths before sitting up. She types into the computer’s search engine the word “positive” as she knows this will alert her of what tests she has run are positive. She sits back up and looks at the screen. She runs her eyes over the charts that pop up with a “positive” marking. She goes through each individual profile to write down names, possibly allergies and which ones can handle which dosages of the medicine.

Fifty-three. Dr. Ryza writes up fifty-three prescriptions for these suffering troopers. Luckily, the medical droids and fill the prescriptions so she will not have to do it by hand.

Dr. Ryza scrolls down to the fifty-third profile. Her brows furrow seeing the name “Sly” pop up. Why would Sly show up “positive” for Vlu-virus? She has been gone for a few days before this outbreak. You discharged after she passed her numerous physical tests. At no point was she tested for the Vlu-virus. How could she be marked positive for Vlu-virus?

Dr. Ryza clicks on the profile and begins reading through. Her tired as grow lazy as they reach her blood test results.

“Everything looks normal…” Dr. Ryza glances over the results indicating positive health. Then she sees it. Her breath catches in her throat upon seeing one blood test with the word “positive” blink. How did she not see this test result before?

“How am I going to tell Sly? She’s been gone and from what I’ve heard she is not coming back…” Dr. Ryza begins to ponder her problem. It is her duty to alert he patient of her condition but how can she reach her.

“Wait! I know!” She stands up. “Surely, _he_ will know where she is.”

Dr. Ryza leaves her office and exits medical bay. She begins her search around the base for the man she bets this year’s rations on will be in some sort of contact with Sly. She ventures out seeking the man.

Entering the cafeteria, Dr. Ryza sees the man she desires to see sitting at a table with his fellow officers. She approaches him quietly.

“Lt. Mitaka,” She addresses him. He turns and looks to the doctor. He shoots up out of his seat.

“Dr. Ryza,” He gives a little smile showing off his dimples.

“Could I speak with you in my office?” She asks politely.

“Yes! Of course!” He responds excitedly which is strange to the doctor as no one is ever really that excited about seeing her around here.

“Good.” Dr. Ryza turns to begin to head back to her office. Lt. Mitaka abandons his tray with his half-eaten food on it. He keeps to Dr. Ryza’s side. His eyes often look to the doctor who keeps her focus on returning to her office.

Once back in medical bay in the privacy of her personal office, Dr. Ryza shuts the door. She has Lt. Mitaka sit in a chair that she usually does not use as she takes her own.

“Is there something wrong, Dr. Ryza? I assure you have no symptoms of the vlu-virus,” He thinks of the only possible reason she would need to speak with him.

“It is nothing to do with that. Actually, I was wondering if you have had any contact with Sly?” She brings up the woman Mitaka once brought to medical bay.

“Sly? N-no. She’s been gone for days,” Mitaka shakes his head.

“You haven’t had any contact, _at all_?” Dr. Ryza leans closer to the officer.

“No.”

“Not even a tiny transmission? You can tell me. It’s okay. I won’t turn you in. We have doctor patient confidentiality,” She tries to coax the truth out of him.

“No. I haven’t seen or spoken or transmitted anything with Sly since the day she was discharged. Why are you asking?”

Dr. Ryza sighs and leans back into her chair. She leans her face against her propped up hand.

“I thought you would be. I have some very important medical news for her. It sort of includes you as well.”

“Me? Why would you think I would be in contact with her? And why would any of her medical news include me?” Mitaka touches his chest as his eyebrows shoot up into his forehead.

“Well, you’re her lover, aren’t you?” Dr. Ryza brings up the relationship that Sly told her.

Mitaka’s jaw drops and an uncomfortable laugh leaves his throat for a second. He closes his mouth and licks his lips.

“No. No. No. No. Sly and I are nothing of the sort,” Mitaka denies the position.

“But you brought her here and visited her. She also said-”

“I brought her because I found in the hall. I visited because Captain Phasma asked me to do so. I don’t know what Sly told you but I have no romantic feelings at all for Sly,” Mitaka gives the facts. It is Dr. Ryza’s turn to be confused.

“So, you’re not then who…” Dr. Ryza pauses. She bites her lower lip as she tries to think of who could have left such sexual marks on Sly and cause her blood test to be positive for pregnancy. If Mitaka is not the lover or the father, then who is?

“I’m sorry to have wasted your time, Lt. Mitaka. I am sure what we discussed in this office will stay in this office?” Dr. Ryza stands up.

“Yes.” He nods.

“Good. Thank you. You can go,” Dry. Ryza opens the door.

“Dr. Ryza,” Lt. Mitaka stops at the door.

“Yes?”

“I want you to know that I also came so often to see Sly so that I could…see you,” Mitaka admits with pinking cheeks. This new information is startling to the doctor but not necessarily unappreciated.

“You did?” She is flattered.

“Yes.”

“Oh, well…thank you?” She is unsure of what to say in response. Lt. Mitaka stands not sure of what to say or do next.

“I would like to see you again outside of medical bay, if you don’t mind?” Lt. Mitaka shoots his shot.

“Uh…” Dr. Ryza is stunned. After all this time on base, someone has noticed her in that way?

“I would like that as well.”

Lt. Mitaka smile. His damn dimples give away his pleasure.

“Are you free to meet for a meal tomorrow night?”

“I can make it so,” She smiles back.

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Mitaka waves goodbye and leaves. Dr. Ryza watches her future date walk away. Once he is out of sight, she closes the office door and sits. A giddy feeling comes over her. But the feeling is lost when she remembers why she went after Mitaka in the first place.

“Who could it be? How will I tell Sly?” Dr. Ryza holds her chin as she begins to go deep in thought.

Knock. Knock.

Dr. Ryza jumps at the sound. She opens the door and freezes at the sight of the man in the black mask towering over her.

“C-C-Commander Ren,” She tries to keep her nerves calm.

“I am out of bacta ointment,” He presents her with an empty tube.

“Oh. I will get you some more,” Dr. Ryza heads to a cabinet in her office. Commander Ren stays in the doorway of her office.

“Are you in any pain, Commander Ren?” Dr. Ryza asks opening the cabinet.

“No.” He answers shortly.

“Good. Good. Is the old bite wound still there? Is that why you need the bacta ointment?” You grab the new tube and start back to the commander.

“No. I wasted the ointment on my apprentice’s wounds,” He starts to take the tube from her hand.

“Sly?” Dr. Ryza grips the tube.

“Yes,” Kylo pulls the tube away.

“That’s right…you’re her master…” Dr. Ryza begins to put the pieces together in her head.

It is no wonder Sly would claim Mitaka as her lover. She did not want anyone to know that Kylo Ren was her lover. He probably would have killed her if it got out. And if Kylo is her lover then he is also…Dr. Ryza thinks on the situation.

“Dr. Ryza,” Kylo’s robotic voice is cold.

“Yes, sir?” Dr. Ryza turns attention back to him instead of her thought process.

“Is there something you need to tell me?”

“What? No. No, sir,” Dr. Ryza shakes her head.

“Nothing about Sly? I sense her in your thoughts,” Kylo steps closer to the doctor.

“I am just concerned for her well-being as her physician. That is all, sir.” Dr. Ryza plays it cool.

“And why are you concerned for her well-being at this time after her discharge and knowing of her betrayal to the First Order?”

“I-I-” Dr. Ryza cannot think of an excuse.

“What are you hiding, Dr. Ryza?” Kylo steps up again making the doctor step back.

“Nothing! Nothing!” She claims. Kylo keeps walking until he backs Dr. Ryza into her chair into which she falls. Kylo leans down. His hand grips the back of the chair. He brings his mask close to her face.

“Tell me what you know, doctor.”


	41. Captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for you comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 41

You and Asharr keep your eyes locked as you both walk around the circle making sure to keep opposite of each other. You know that no matter what you must kill her and you must protect your body from harm that could prove detrimental to the developing children within you.

Asharr begins to remove her gloves then the top of her leather outfit. You inhale sharply seeing her arms stop at about her elbows. From there they are robotic. A black bikini top covers her still flesh covered breasts. Queen Moxa’s pendant stays there. Her torso is mostly the same except it is seems to be held together in the middle by metal paneling. She pulls off her pants leaving her in a what looks like black underwear. Her thighs are hers but from the knees down she is robotic as well. It will be much harder to fight her without a weapon now.

“You see what he did to me?” Asharr gestures to her physical changes. You know Kylo did this. Thinkning on the memories you saw in kylo’s mind of his killing of Queen Moxa, you remember how he cut off the limbs of each body guard as they tried to protect their queen. He made watch helplessly as he decapitated her. Then he went back and slashed them across their middle to kill them. How Asharr survived this you do not know. You would ask but it doesn’t really matter. You need to kill her.

“I see what he did. But you know what?

“Hm?”

“He should have cut off your head like he did to your whore of a queen,” You provoke her. Asharr lets out a scream and jumps toward you. She flies with her metal fist raised to strike you. You pivot out of her way. As she lands on her feet you spin al the way around and send your elbow into the back of her neck making her stumble forward. She turns back to face you with fists raised.

The onlookers watch with boisterously. They shout out their cheers and their choices for the next moves. You and Asharr ignore them. You can only focus on each other.

Asharr’s metal leg swings high at your head. You duck to avoid it and move further out her reach. She comes at you gain with her heel intended to hit your face. You are able to block push aside her foot. She steps closer and swing her fist at your face. You deflect and send your own punch to her face. It barely phases her. She tries to bring her other arm but you once against block and punch her. As you begin to return your hands to block, her left fist runs into your cheek.

The cold steel is hard and painful. Her right fist is the same as she strikes the other. You kick her in the stomach sending her back though making contact with metals there is slightly painful. You punch at her but she manages to avoid the blows by bobbing and weaving. She tries to kick at you but you are able ot move out of her reach. She comes closer to throw another missed punch then tries to roundhouse kick your head. You duck. She kick up and you block her metal shin. After pushing it down, she tries roundhouse kicking twice more. You barely avoid the hits by bending over backwards. You roll back then push yourself upward when she tries to go low to swipe your feet.

Upright, you are able to send your knuckle into the bridge of her nose when she too jumps up. You hear the faint crack and see the blood come from her nostrils. As she stumbles back, you jump to do a spinning hook kick to her head. She falls to the ground.

Asharr pushes her self up and throw her leg down on you as if to chop at you like an axe. When she misses, she throws up her knees. Knowing she means to hit your stomach you block her with palms of your hands. You kick straight up but she catches your leg. You know she will try to twist it and so send each fist to her face. She still does not release. Using her hold, you push up and bring up your other leg to strike her head. She ducks. As you begin to spin, she flips you and releases your foot. You land on your feet and send the once held foot back into her jaw. She stumbles backward dazed. You run up and let your feet climb her torso. You kick her face right as you flip off her. You are able roundhouse kick her once more. She falls.

“Yeah!” Poe cheers behind you. You look to him and smirk.

“I will not be so easily beaten,” You hear Asharr. She gets up and spit out the blood that has filled her mouth.

Again, Asharr comes swinging. You duck and punch her ribs twice with each fist. Asharr thrust her fist up into your chin making you stumble backward. You both go to punch but your fists meet making you both recoil. She makes her arm horizontal in front of her with the intention to throw her elbow at you. You catch her wrist and tricep. Throwing her around, you keep your hold before bringing up your knee into her sternum thrice. She pulls out of your hold and gets her other elbow to come up to hit your temple.

You try to punch her but she catches your arm. She wraps her cold arms around you keep your one arm pinned to your chest. Again. she tries to knee you in the stomach. Your free arm barely makes it in time to protect your stomach. You throw hips in your pelvis and bring up fist to hit her already broken nose. This makes her lose her hold on you.

You lace your fingers together behind her head and pull her down onto your knee several times. She grabs your hands and spins out. She flips you but you land on your feet. You spin and kick her in the neck. She falls but once more gets up.

Running at you with open arms, Asharr screams. You catch her by the waist and hold her up high. You slam her down against the ground. With arms spread out by her side, you straddle her torso. You begin punching her face. You watch it grow bloodier and bloodier as do your fists.

Asharr tucks her elbow in against your thigh and twists to slight angle as she bridges her hips beneath you. Her leg crosses over her own and yours. She pulls your foot over and traps it between her legs. She manages to push your knee over then locks her ankle behind her knee. She slides arm around you and pushes her foot against your thigh allowing her to come out from beneath you. While you catch yourself on the floor, Asharr leaps up to her feet. You start to get up but Asharr’s metal heel hits right between your shoulder blades. Your body goes flat on your face. You are barely able to get on your back when Asharr is atop you. Her knees lock at your sides and her metal hand goes around your throat and squeeze. You grab ahold her wrist. It is nearly impossible to break her hold as she no longer has the weakness of having real arms that grow tired. You are still getting some air.

Asharr’s eyes move down from your grimacing face to your chest. She notices the folded photograph peaking out of your dress. She takes it out and opens it. Her striped eyes grow then narrow. She looks at your face. You try to breathe. She holds the photo so only you can see it. An evil grin comes over her face.

“You naughty, Bitch. No wonder he went crazy. He didn’t want to lose his whore, did he?” Asharr spits more blood onto you. Her voice can only be heard by you as the crew jeers and cheers. You try to grab the picture with one of your hands but she keeps it out of your reach.

“Is this how they make more troopers for the First Order?” Asharr looks at the picture again. You can’t respond. But you reach for it again. Your body feels weaker the less air you get.

“Well, they won’t get the chance to be troopers. I will be sure to gut them out and send them with your head to Kylo Ren,” Asharr chortles then using her teeth, rips up the picture. The pieces fall onto you. She balls her fist and raises it. You see that her eyes have focused on your stomach. You know she will beat it. You can’t let her. You have to protect them.

The hand you had held to reach for the now destroyed picture, you now direct toward Asharr’s face.

“I can keep my face away from you,” She straightens up so she is out of reach. You don’t need to touch her. You can destroy her without it. You focus every bit of you on destroying her.

“Haccckkkkk,” Asharr loses all mocking looks as she begins to choke. Both of her hands fly to her throat to pull away the invisble object crushing her windpipe. You keep your hand out controlling the force. Asharr falls back freeing you. You push your arm forward sending Asharr onto her back. She claws her throat making it bleed as she tries to get some air. You take some deep breaths before bending your fingers.

Everyone around you stops their loud noises. Everything silent except for the pitiful choking Asharr. You stand above her. You look her in her now bloodshot eyes.

“Once again you have failed, Asharr. Now burn in hell,” You brings your fingers together to form a fist. You hear Asharr’s throat crunch. Her limbs fall lifeless to her side. Her body remains still as well. The crew and Poe stare with mouth gaping open. You use the force to remove the pendant from Asharr’s neck. You always found this item of jewelry pretty. You put it around your neck. You look to the Dwuni who has your lightsaber. The force removes it from the belt and brings it back to your hand. Your other hand draws the pieces of the torn up sonogram to it. You hold the pieces tightly as you walk to the chrome chair where Asharr had sat earlier. You sit and look at the silent gawkers.

“I am the captain now.” You claim the role. The crew members beat their chests as a sign of their new allegiance to you. You look to Wagu and Poe.

“Free this man and return his blaster to him,” You order referring to Poe. Wagu obeys as does the Dwuni without any opposition. No one wants to disobey this new woman who apparently kill without even touching the victim. Poe stands still. You sense a mix of fear and admiration in him.

“He will be given full access to his ship and no one is to harm him,” You set some rules about Poe. No makes a peep.

“Take him to his ship,” You tell Wagu. He escorts Poe away. 

“Someone take her to an incinerator,” You point to Asharr. A wrinkled Weequay jumps into actions and carries off the corpse of your enemy.

“Now, who among you is the first mate on this ship?” You survey the crowd.

“I am, Captain,” A furry Bothan emerges from the crowd.

“What is your name?” You ask him.

“Aza Melan, Captain” He answers.

“Aza, when we arrive to Takodana you will personally see that this ship is refueled and prepared to go to Naboo in the quickest time available, understand?”

“Yes, Captain,” He nods his head.

“And I want Katuu promoted,” You point to the one-eyed boy.

“Katuu? But he has barely been on this ship two months,” Aza snorts.

“He saved my life. If you cannot give him a proper position then I will see that he takes yours,” You threaten Aza.

“There’s no need for that, Captain,” The Bothan changes his tune, “I will find him a better position.”

“Good. Now where is the ship’s doctor?” You call for a medical expert.

A Cerean with an enlarged skull that makes him taller than most comes forward. His black mustache and beard an excellently styled into curls. He is dressed in very clean white robes unlike the earthy toned dressed crew. You see he does have a satchel with him. You hope it has his medical supplies.

“I am Dr. Di-Lo-Pal,” He introduces himself.

“Is that your medical bag?” You point to the satchel.

“Yes, Captain.”

“You will escort me to the Captain’s quarters. Aza, you will alert me when we arrive to Takodana. You all can leave now,” You give your orders. The crew including Aza leave. You stand and come to the doctor’s side as you don’t know where to go. The doctor stays quiet as he leads you down a hall. You enter a room with a large bed and a desk. But nothing is especially special about the quarters.

“You may want to wash up before I treat you so I can see you more clearly,” He suggests. You go to the only other door in the room to find a bathroom. You put your lightsaber and the torn sonogram on the counter. You wash Asharr’s blood from your face. You return to the doctor who waits in the other room. You bring only your lightsaber with you.

“Tell me where you pain is, Captain,” The doctor set his satchel on the desk. You point out the different spots on your body where Asharr’s metal appendages hit you. He applies pressure at the sport to determine the damage. He asks for your move in odd ways. Though they make you feel the soreness in your body nothing truly pains you. He grabs a tube of bacta ointment and begin to apply it to your back and legs

“Fortunately, it all seems rather superficial. You will need to apply the bacta for bruising and rest your body. Try not to do anything that requires much physical activity for the next few days,” He instructs as he begins to put the ointment on your arms.

“Okay. So, you don’t think the damage is anything that could affect other areas of my body?”

“What do you mean?” The doctor is confused by your wording. He squirts out more ointment and puts it on you jaw and cheeks.

“You do uphold patient-doctor confidentiality, right?” You check.

“Of course.” He puts the cap on the tube he is finished using.

“I am currently, five weeks pregnant,” You revela the information.

“What?”

“Yes.”

“And you just did hand to hand combat with that half-droid parts woman?” Dr. Di-Lo-Pal;s voice raises in anger.

“I had to,” You uphold.

“Captain, that was a very dangerous thing to do!” He starts to scold.

“I know.”

“You could miscarry!” He brings up the possibility that concerns you.

“Do you think it likely? I protected that area the best I could in the fight.”

“Still, you put your body through much strain. The stress could cause a miscarriage,” He tries to educate you.

“Is there anyway you could check on the well-being of my twins?”

“Twins!” He exclaims instead of answering your question.

“Doctor, can you check on their health?” You ask again.

“I don’t have the technology here to do so. Do you feel anything strange in you body now in that area?”

“No. Everything there feels fine.”

“Hmmm…when we get to Takodana, you can go to a medical office there. They can check and make sure you haven’t lost them.”

“Is there anyway to know now without going to an office?”

“Well…if you begin to bleed of have great pain there then it is easy to assume you are having a miscarriage. Until then you can hold to the hope that you haven’t. But you must see a medical office as soon as possible.” The doctor gives his opinion.

“What can I do till I get to one then?” You must know.

“Lie down and rest. Don’t cause your body any more stress than necessary,” The doctor stands up.

“Okay. Thank you,” You thank him. He leaves you alone. You go to the bed and lie down. You put your lightsaber next to you on the bed. You stare at the grey ceiling above you.

You were so reckless. You endangered not only yourself but your children. You had to though. It was fight or die. You have to hope now that your fight will not lead to more death.

You can just lie down now like the doctor said. But you cannot let yourself stress anymore about this. Stress could cause a miscarriage, right? You must focus on being calm. Maybe this would be a good time to meditate.

You close yours eyes and take deep breaths. You try to think of the calm place where the bird flies in the sky and the water is still like mirror. You find yourself in that place. You float in the water staring at the bird. Your body is weightless but safe. No harm can come to you or the children. You are all safe.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You open your eyes and look at the door.

“Who is it?” You ask.

“Poe,” the knocker answers.

“Come in,” You sit up right.

“Hey, Captain,” he gives a sarcastic salute.

“What’s going on, Poe? Did you get BB-8?” You inquire after the droid.

“Yes. He’s good. I’ve come to check on you,” Poe comes to the edge of the bed.

“Oh? I’m fine. Just sore”

“In that fight you were…amazing,” He compliments you.

“Thank you…”

“I know better then to ever think to pick a fight with you,” He laughs.

“Good. I’d hate to kick your ass,” You smile.

You both grow quiet. Poe looks down awkwardly to his empty hand then back up to you.

“Um, thank you for fighting her and freeing us. We’d be dead if you didn’t,” He gives his gratitude.

“It was no problem.”

“But it was. You’ve saved my life, twice now. I am in your debt,” He speaks humbly.

“I’m sure you will repay me one day,” You try to give him some peace of mind.

“I promise I will.” He vows.

“The doctor tells me I need to rest till we get to Takodana. So, I’m going to lie back down,” You tell him so he doesn’t think it too strange. You back to lie on your back.

“Is something wrong?” He comes to bedside and looks down at you.

“I just need to rest. I’m sure you can understand.”

“Yes. Yes.”

Poe just stands at your side not speaking or moving. It is strange.

“Poe? Do you need anything else?”

“Um, no. no. I just…um…” He struggles to come up with an excuse for his behavior.

“If you want to stay in here with me then you can lie on the bed next to me. Otherwise, you are more than free to go,” You close your eyes. Poe crosses to the other side of the bed and lies down next to you. You move your lightsaber to make room for him. You are surprised by his choice but it is not unwelcomed.

“I don’t really feel like talking right now just so you know,” You make this clear to him.

“That’s fine. We don’t have to talk. I just want to enjoy laying on something that is not a floor or a cot,” Poe gives away his reasoning. You can completely understand this.

As you two fall into silence, you try to close your eyes and meditate. However, Poe begins to hum to himself. It is not awful but it is rather distracting. It makes you think of his singing on the ship. It was so nice. You’d rather hear him sing than hum since he seems to be the type that has to make noise.

“Are you going to start singing or just keep humming?” You wonder aloud.

“You want to hear me sing?” His chest swells against you.

“I wouldn’t mind it,” You admit. You don’t look up at him. You can imagine that prideful smirk he would wear.

“Any requests, Captain?”

“I don’t really know songs so just sing what you were humming.”

“Alright,” Poe smiles to himself. He clears his throat then begins to sing freely.

“When I go by Mandalore

Need a blaster at my door

You come along and follow me

We’ll go down in history

Shining bright, bright starry road

You promenade is gold

Tell me who you love

Tell me who you love

See that bird up in the sky

He don’t walk, he just fly

He don’t walk, he don’t run

Keep on flapping… to the sun

Shining bright, bright starry road

You promenade in gold

Tell me who you love

Tell me who you love

RZ-1 A Wing Interceptor

Do you shoot down a TIE Fighter?

If you shoot down a TIE Fighter

You’ll be in your RZ-1 A Wing Interceptor

Shining bright, bright starry road

You promenade in gold

Tell me who you love

Tell me who you love

Now when I go by Mandalore

Need a blaster by my door

You come along and follow me

We’ll go down…in history

Shining bright, bright starry road

You promenade in gold

Tell me who you love

Tell me who you love.”

Your body practically melts into the bed as he sings. It is nearly impossible to not enjoy how his voice makes such simple words sound like a rhapsody despite there being no instruments.

“You should have been a singer instead of a pilot,” You breathe out your opinion. He laughs.

“Thanks.”

“Sing it again, please.”

“Of course, Captain.”

* * *

Aza Melan does his duty and alerts you of the ship’s arrival to Takodana. You spare no time leaving your quarters and the ship. Poe and the now present BB-8 come with you despite the charge for them to stay behind.

“Why are you going to the medical office? I thought you said the doctor just wanted you to rest?” Poe asks as you three go toward the little building near the local cantina.

“I just need to pick up some…cycle sticks,” You lie.

“Oh…” Poe stops but BB-8 keeps rolling. You look back at Poe. Is he grossed out by the idea that you need cycle sticks? You chuckle.

“You can wait for me in the cantina,” You point to the building.

“Yeah…I think I will,” Poe agrees. He calls his good buddy BB-8 to come with him.

You continue into the medical office. There is not a soul in sight. You approach the desk clutching your lightsaber. You ding an old copper bell there.

“Hello?” You call out looking over the counter. You hear rushing footprints coming toward the counter. A grinning women with large red glasses barely staying on her nose appears. Her curly red hair goes in every direction. It contrasts to her crisp white medical coat.

“Hello!” She greets eagerly.

“Hi…” You are surprised by the enthusiasm.

“I’m Dr. Lahli Papps.”

“I’m Meia.”

“Meia, how can I help _you_ today?”

“Um…I’m pregnant and I am concerned about the possibility of a miscarriage,” You answer softly.

“Oh my!” She gasps. “You need to come back right now!”

Dr. Papps opens the door and lets you back into the main office. She puts you on scale to weigh you as she begins to ramble off many questions in a single breath.

“How far along are you? Is this your first pregnancy? Why do you think you might be miscarrying? Are you bleeding? Are you in pain? Does your family have a history of miscarriages? Does your partner’s family have a history of miscarriages? Are you just paranoid?”

You have to pause to process all of the questions.

“Sorry, did I go too fast?” She pulls you into a private room and has you sit on cushioned examination table. She pulls out her stethoscope and listens you’re your heartbeat. You begin to answer her questions.

“I am five weeks along. This is my first pregnancy. I was just in a physical altercation so I fear that the stress from that could have affected my pregnancy. I am not bleeding or in pain. I have no idea of my family’s medical history or the medical history of the man who impregnated me. I hope I’m not being paranoid.”

Dr. Papps nods her head as she listens.

“Well, the fight explains these bruises but I see you already put bacta on them. IN this fight did you suffer any trauma to your womb area?”

“No.”

“Good! I can get my ultrasound machine to check on the well being of your child,” Dr. Papps volunteers.

“Children,” You correct her.

“Children?” Her eyes light up.

“Yes, I’m having twins.”

“How exciting! Let me get my machine and we can make sure your little darlings are still doing well,” Dr. Papps dashes out of the room. She returns almost instantly.

“Lie back, Meia, and lift up your dress,” She start to hook up the machine. You lay back and lift the hem of your dress. You hold up in your hands along with your lightsaber. You are not uncomfortable exposing your lower self to the female doctor as she is a female doctor. She squirts some cool liquid on your lower abdomen before taking the wand from the machine to press against you. She moves around and looks at the screen. The screen is turned from you and there is no sound.

“Well?” You are anxious.

“I found them!” Dr. Papps announces with glee.

“And?”

“Let me turn on the sound,” She flips a switch. Relief comes over you hearing heartbeats. She moves the wand so it is focused on one embryo. That one’s heart beat is strong. She moves it over the other one. The heart beat is just as strong.

“They seem to be doing just fine. They are about the right size and have strong heartbeats,” Dr. Papps reaffirms your relief.

“Oh good.”

“But you have to be careful. These first few months of pregnancy can be tricky. You don’t want to get into any more fights,” Dr. Papps advises put the wand back on the screen. She pulls a towel from her coat pocket. She wipes off the liquid. You throw down your dress and sit up.

“I know. I have no plans to get into anymore.”

“Just take it easy. Don’t over exert yourself. Get lots of sleep, fluids and food. Everything should be fine if you do,” Dr. Papps is by far the most laid-back physician you have met.

“I will try to do all of those things.”

“Good. Good. Good. Now, is there anything else you need?”

“No. Thank you.”

“Well, thank you for coming in then, Meia. I wish you a successful and healthy pregnancy and birth.”

“Thank you. How much do I owe you?” You recall how Canto Bight practically charged an arm and a leg for their services.

“Oh, you’re good. This is a free clinic,” Dr. Papps waves her hand.

“Free? Really?”

“Yep.”

“Okay. Well, thanks again,” You smile and leave the doctor. You walk out of the office with the heavy weight on your chest gone. You head into the cantina.

Though the stone walls and dim lighting give a heavy atmosphere, the people seem light and cheery as they eat, drink and play games. You see Poe at the bar accepting a drink from the bartender. You go to him immediately.

“Hey, Captain,” He salutes you with two finger before taking a swig of his drink. He looks you over. “Where are your…”

“They were out. But it’s okay. Where is BB-8?”

“He’s rolling around here somewhere. Want a drink?” Poe inquires. You know you should not imbibe but you are thirsty. You turn to the bartender. A little orange lady with giant eyes behind glasses and wrinkles everywhere stands on stool.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asks.

“Do you have milk?” You feel a bit silly asking.

“Milk? You don’t want anything harder? You did just kill-”

“I just want milk.” You cut Poe off not wanitng to upset the bartender. “Do you have milk?”

“I sure do,” the orange lady turns around. She fills a copper cup with blue milk and gives it to you.

“How much?” You ask ready to pull out your credits card.

“I’ve got you, honey.” Poe pulls out some coins. He hands it to the woman who accepts it. She hops off and goes to see other patrons.

“Thanks,” You begin to drink your cold beverage. It is very satisfying.

“Let’s go sit over there,” Poe points to an empty table with plates of fruit om the table. You do not protest. Sitting you watch Poe grabs some fruit you’ve never seen and begin eating. You copy him. The taste is sweet and filling.

“So, where are you going to have the crew take us?” Poe brings another piece of fruit to his now wet lips. You realize eh was not there when you gave your crew the destination.

“Naboo. We will leave as soon as the ship is ready.”

“Ah. Yes. I should have known. Hopefully, we will not have any more interruptions on the way.” Poe talks after swallowing what he bit off.

“Yes. I am sick of these delays,” You groan. “I just want to find Jyn.”

“What will you do with your new crew after you reach Naboo? You are their captain after all,” Poe points out your new responsibility.

“I don’t know. I don’t need them. If Aza proves to be of good merit maybe I’ll gift him my position,” You muse.

“Hm…you could encourage them to join the Resistance,” Poe brings up his personal affiliation.

“I’m not going to force anyone to join a group they don’t want to be apart of,” You reject the idea.

“I can respect that.”

BB-8 rolls up to the table beeping loudly.

“Whoa, buddy! What’s going on?” Poe pats the top of the droid gently. Your and Poe’s faces fall hearing the droid beep out terrible news.

“Are you serious? Aza and the entire crew just took off with the ship? Poe asks the droid. BB-8 beeps an affirmative. Your face and palm meet. You put your cup on the table and sigh.

"I guess our interruptions are not over yet, Poe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random Fact: Poe's song in this chapter is a parody of the song "Green Green Rocky Road" which is sung by Oscar Isaac in the film Inside Llewyn Davis. If you want to hear the melody to Poe's "Bright Bright Starry Road" then look up this song. :)


	42. A Father's Soliloquy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers! I know everyone has been waiting to Kylo's reaction. Wait no more! Here it is. Please, enjoy!

# Chapter 42

Dr. Ryza’s heart pounds being so close to the commander known for brutal rages. Sweat beads on her forehead. She wants to look away from the alarming mask before her.

“I’m waiting, doctor,” He hisses behind the apparatus.

“I am not allowed to discuss a patient’s medical information without their consent,” Dr. Ryza brings up the oath she once took. She hears the leather of his gloves sort of creak as his hand tightens on the back of her chair.

“You tell me what I want to know about Sly or I’ll make sure you can never tell anyone anything ever again,” He threatens. Dr. Ryza shudders knowing the man is not bluffing.

“She-she,” Dr. Ryza struggles. She does not want to break the confidentiality she is supposed to have with Sly but she also doesn’t want to die for Sly either.

“Sly’s blood test came back positive,” Dr. Ryza gives away her discovery but leaves out the importance of the positive result.

“Positive? For what?”

Dr. Ryza takes a deep breath. Her lips tremble as they begin to form the word. She closes her eyes to brace for a violent reaction.

“Pregnancy.”

There is no blow or sound from Kylo Ren. Dr. Ryza opens her eyes and finds Kylo frozen before her. His hand releases her chair as he stands straight up.

“She is…pregnant,” the word sounds so strange coming from his mask.

“Yes. I didn’t notice it till today. I guess she is a few weeks along. Without her here, I won’t know anything else about it,” Dr. Ryza spills more out not wanting him to think you know anything more than you do.

Kylo doesn’t say anything else. He just turns around and leaves the office with his mind racing.

Pregnant. How could she be pregnant? His mind answers its own question as it brings up the numerous memories of your lovemaking where almost every single time, he finished inside you.

How could I be so careless?

He knows how though. He doesn’t exactly think everything through when he is with you especially when he is _in_ you. Still, he should have at least tried to pull out more or sought to find some form of contraceptive to give you. You wouldn’t have any access to such things but he would. It’s too late now to try to think of what he should have done. It’s done.

Does she know? Did Dr. Ryza tell her? Did she sense it with the force? Mother said she knew she was carrying me because she felt in the force. Kylo recalls the past conversation with his mother.

Did she know that morning before she left for Dantooine? IS that why she told me she loved me? Did she want to know if I felt the same? Did she think that if I loved her that I would love the child? Because I told I wouldn’t love her did she think I meant I could not love the child as well? Did she leave to have the child on her own without me? Did she leave and decide to terminate it as well? That way she would be free of me in every way…

But she wouldn’t do that. Her heart is too soft. He knows.

Kylo has somehow found his to his quarters and into the chamber where Darth Vader’s helmet rests. He sits in the chair he typically does when he meditates. He takes off his helmet and holds it in his hand. He inhales the stale air.

She must have run away to have her child…my child. She is carrying _my_ _child_. The fact hits him like a punch to the chest. He drops his helmet to the ground. You are pregnant with his child. _His_.

“I can’t be a father,” He exhales in defeat. He lowers his head to be held by hands. His fingers curl into his dark locks. He grips his hair as he tries to grip the notion that he is a father.

“How can I be good father? I’ve only had Dad as a model then Skywalker tried to fill that role. Both were no good. Dad was always off on some run and Skywalker tried to kill me,” He recalls the two men. He grinds his teeth at the painful memories.

Kylo raises his head up out of his hands. He stands up as if to fight the men of the memories.

“I’d never do what they did to my son!” He declares to no one. Kylo freezes. Did he just say ‘his son’?

“My son,” A smile creeps onto his face. He repeats the phrase. His hand goes to the back of his head and scratches.

“I wonder what he’ll think of me? Will call me ‘Dad’? Will think me the most powerful being in the galaxy? Well, I will be,” Kylo’s chest begins to swell at his own confidence.

Closing his eyes, Kylo can see the boy now as if he were in the room with him. He conjures a child so realistic, Kylo is tempted to touch him. Kylo can see the boy’s light trail of freckles going from his cheek over his nose to the other cheek. Dimples are in those rosy cheeks. A mess of black will be atop his head. He’ll be tall with dark eyes and will have big ears. The boy will be just like his father.

“I’ll bet he’ll be the spitting image of me. But he’ll have more attention and guidance than his father ever had,” Kylo shakes his head at his own father’s failure toward him. But there things Kylo does remember that his father did right. He is loathed to admit but there are somethings Han Solo taught his son that Kylo would not be opposed to teaching his own son.

“I’ll teach him to fight and how to shoot a blaster. I’ll teach him to gamble and how get out of a Wookie’s death grip. I’ll show him how to ride a speeder then how to fly a ship,” Kylo relives the moments he shared with his father. He shakes his head though. He must not allow himself to think of his father so fondly. He can’t allow himself to follow in that man’s footsteps. He will not abandon his son.

“I will never abandon my son, not my boy, not Anakin,” As the name leaves his mouth, he knows it is right. He knows this is his son’s name.

“Anakin. He’ll be named after grandfather,” Kylo makes the connection to Darth Vader. It would be an honor to name his son after the one he admires most. How he wishes his grandfather had lived. He wishes his grandfather had been there for him. He could have taught him the way of the dark side. He would have stuck by him in his training and encouraged him. He would take him with him on his missions to further train in the dark ways. Kylo laments what could have been if his grandfather had lived. But he will see that this new Anakin will be raised the right way. He’ll be raised the way he wanted to be.

Kylo can see the boy now. Anakin grows in Kylo’s sight. Anakin still holds a striking resemblance to Kylo himself though younger and more handsome. Kylo knows he will take some features form his mother after all.

“Anakin. He’ll be tall and strong in the force. Like a tree he’ll grow with his head held high and his feet will remain firm on the ground. No one will ever dare to try to boss him or bully him around. No pinched face general or old Jedi will try to boss him around!

I will train him the ways of the Force but then he will make his own decisions. He will choose his own path to follow. He can choose if he wants to be Sith or he wants to live an alternative life like as a…a pilot. Of course, it takes talent to be a pilot,” Kylo thinks of his own skill in ships. Would his son receive that ability from him?

“He could become the Supreme Leader of the First Order. After myself and after Snoke,” Kylo is sure to remember the order of succession. He tries to see his son dressed in black sitting on Snoke’s throne. Anakin’s face holds no joy in it.

“But he doesn’t have to be if he doesn’t want to be. I won’t make him like they made me. I won’t make him give up his dreams because some old bastard tells him it is his destiny.” Kylo decides shooting out of his seat. He won’t let his son give up anything. “If he wants to be a pilot, he will be a damn pilot!”

The boy disappears. Kylo takes several deep breaths to calm himself. Everything his dark in his mind now. He didn’t mean to get so upset.

“I can’t allow myself to get so mad around Anakin. I never want him to think of me as…a monster,” Kylo sits down. His heart pounds as his mind flies back to the day when he heard his parents talking. They called him a “monster”. The people who were to love him the most thought him a monster. He doesn’t want his son to feel that way about him. He can be a monster to everyone but not in the eyes of his son. Not Anakin. 

Kylo sees himself in his helmet in his mind. He sees himself surrounded by those who are aligned with the First Order. He sees Anakin before him. He does not want Anakin to look at him as others do when they see him in this mask. They are fearful, he knows. He does not want Anakin to fear. He wants Anakin to look at him in a way much like you do.

Kylo sees you and only you. Anakin and the Order are gone. But you are before him. You smile like you tend to do around him. He stares at your eyes. They always give away your affection and admiration for him. You don’t look at him as a monster. At least, not anymore.

“Maybe Anakin will have her eyes…” Kylo begins to reconsider the child’s appearance. The boy he invented appears again by your side. His image does not change. Your eyes weren’t meant to be with a boy’s face.

“A girl would be better suited to have her eyes,” Kylo thinks allowed. He pauses and realizes something he forgot.

“What if he is…a she? My son could possibly be…a girl.” Kylo drops the mask. He blinks his eyes several times.

“Anakin. Oh, Anakin…What could I do with her? What can I do for her? I’m not very experienced with girls. I can fun with a son, but I’d have to be different with a girl…” Kylo feels panic coming over him. His Anakin begins to change into a little girl. She barely resembles Anakin. They share similar lips, colored cheeks, and height. But otherwise she looks much like you. The girl is not so frightening now as he sees the similarity. She even has braids in her hair. Her smile is brilliant the galaxy’s core.

“My…little girl,” He murmurs. He can see her now so clearly. She Is bright and cheerful as little girl should be. He can see that she too will be strong with the force like her father and her mother. He can train like he would Anakin. But he would change the other things he’d teach her.

Diplomacy, art, calligraphy, and the other “proper” things his own mother taught him, he would teach her. You will teach her how to fight hand to hand. The girl will be a force to reckon with.

But her beauty as he grows in his mind is a problem. He can see as she grows to look more like you, how others will desire her as he desired you. She should be able to handle herself among men but he’ll damned if she be so easily seduced as her mother.

Her mother…you…The last he saw of you was in the smoke on Dathomir. You were with a pilot, a handsome pilot. Will you be seduced by him? Will he make you his and keep your child as his own? Or will he abandon you? Will he leave you having to struggle to provide for yourself? Will you have to turn to the pleasure houses like where your mother worked? Will you bring up Anakin or the girl in such a place?

“No!” Kylo slams his fists against the armrests. He stands up with eyes opened and determined. He summons his helmet from the floor and puts it on himself.

“I will find them even if I have to search every inch of the damn galaxy myself!”

Kylo storms from his quarters with a renewed resolve. Not even in all of his years of searching for Skywalker did he feel the need to find someone. He must find you. He must find you and the child. He doesn’t know exactly how he is going to get you but he will. He will!


	43. Takodana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this next chapter.

# Chapter 43

Kylo boards his TIE v/n Silencer and takes off before anyone has noticed him. He blasts through space not caring if anyone knows where he is. He tuns off the transmitter to avoid being called by anyone from the First Order.

In the vastness of space, Kylo is alone. He allows his ship to simply float instead of flying. He flips on the autopilot and releases the controls. He removes his helmet. He leans back and stares out at the trillions of stars. He closes his eyes as he did in the room where his grandfather’s helmet rests. He does not know why but being alone in space gives him more clarity. It always has. Out here maybe he can seek you out in the force.

Kylo focuses on you. He focuses on every little feature of your face. He focuses on the curves of you body. He focuses on the sound of your voice. He focuses on the way you breathe. He focuses on your essence and force signature. Surely, the Force will grant him something to help him find you.

* * *

“Do you want to go after them?” Poe asks you referring to the crew of pirates who were supposed to be your subordinates but instead they took your ship and fled. He stands ready to chase them down though it would be for naught since a running man can’t catch a flying ship.

“Why? They obviously don’t want me to be their captain and I only needed them for transport. Besides we won’t be able to catch them on foot,” You stand up from your seat. You run your hand though your hair as you come up with a new plan. “We can just buy a ship and you’ll fly me to Naboo.”

“Where will we get a ship?” Poe’s hands go to his hips.

BB-8 beeps.

“That’s right, BB-8. Someone around here should be willing to sell,” You gesture to the numerous cantina patrons. Poe looks at the others.

“Oh, yeah because smugglers and pirates are willing to part with their ships,” Poe rolls his eyes.

“I’m sure if I offer a high enough price, they’d be willing,” You pull out your credits card. You climb on to you chair. You clear your throat loudly drawing some eyes.

“Who here wants to sell me their ship? I’ll pay top dollar for a top speed ship,” You speak loudly. This makes the noise quiet down. The travelers look to their partners and talk.

“What are you doing?” Poe pulls you down from the chair by your waist embarrassed by the display. “You can’t just start offering money! People will think you a rich target!”

“I want a ship, Poe, and I don’t want to waste any more time trying to find one,” You climb back onto the chair.

“Meia!” Poe wants to scold you.

“Come on. I’ll pay ten thousand credits!” You offer a price. This makes some eyes grow while others toss their hands as the price is too low.

“I’ve got a ship for that price!” A red-skinned Zeltron man stands up.

“I do too!” A green Rodian pipes up.

A few more offer their ships for the price. You look to Poe and smile a little smug. You come down from the chair.

“See, Poe, now we have options.”

“They’re probably all a bunch of rust buckets,” Poe murmurs.

“Well, come with me and pick the best one,” You touch his arm then start heading to the crowd of eager sellers who have gathered close to you. Poe sighs but he goes with you as does BB-8.

In the local docking area, you and Poe are shown a variety of ships. Poe was right that most were run down ships that these people were hoping to get rid of quickly. The Zeltron almost had you fooled into buy his ship when Poe found the port airlock did not actually lock.

Sighing in defeat, you sit in a chair at the Cantina. Poe sits across from you feeling justified in being against your plan to just ask for a ship. You are sick of looking at ship and wish you were in a bed asleep. It is getting late, after all. You unintentionally yawn. You cover your mouth but Poe saw it.

“We should stop our search for the night and find a place to sleep,” Poe makes perfect sense.

“I agree. Is there a place to stay around here?” You inquire. Honestly, you could just sleep in the chair where you sit.

“You can stay here,” You jump not realizing that the little orange lady from the bar has no come by your side to collect your empty cup.

“You have rooms here, Maz?” Poe asks and gives the woman a name.

“Of course. I’m only one for miles who has rooms to rent,” Maz takes Poe’s empty cup as well.

“Could we, please, stay here then?” You ask politely. Maz smiles and nods.

“I can show you to a room right now,” Maz puts the tray down on your table.

“That’s be great! Thank you,” You stand up. Poe does as well. You two follow the smaller woman. BB-8 tags along as well. When you reach a stairwell, Poe picks up BB-8 to carry him. This makes Poe have to slow his speed behind you and Maz.

“How long have you worked here, Maz?” You ask curiously.

“Oh. About a thousand years,” She answers. You stop shocked.

“A thousand years! How old are you?” You cover your mouth realizing the rudeness of the question, “I’m sorry I didn’t-”

Maz just laughs.

“It is alright. Haha. After _I_ hit a thousand, I stopped counting,” Maz keeps climbing the stairs.

“Wow. I can’t imagine being over a thousand years old and still to be in such a great shape.” Honestly, you cannot. Your species is not known for aging as slowly or well as this.

“I like you,” Maz likes the sincere flattery. You smile.

“So where are you from, Meia?” Maz must have learned your name from hearing Poe yell at you.

“Oh, nowhere really. I’ve been traveling my whole life.” You cannot give away that you former First Order. 

“Ah. So where are you trying to go?”

“Naboo.”

“Naboo? Lovely planet. Why do you want to go there?”

“My sister is there. I want to be with her. But my journey keeps getting hindered. I hope after getting a reliable ship, Poe and I can go straight to Naboo,” You sigh exhausted from remembering all the inconveniences.

“I can help find you a good ship,” Maz offers.

“Really?”

“Yes. You look like you need all the help you can get,” Maz reminds you of your appearance. You must look horrible in you torn up, blood strained dress with bruises on your body and your bare feet. The only thing not atrocious is Moxa’s pendant that hangs around your neck but even that has blood on it which obscures the glowing coaxium there.

“I can get you some fresh clothes and shoes. Your room will have a bathroom so you can clean up.” Maz continues.

Maz stops before a large wooden door. She pulls out a key and unlocks it. Opening it, you see a stone walled room with a wooden bed with white blankets and pillows. Beside the bed is a nightstand with a lantern the illuminates the room. You could not be happier at the sight of it all.

“Wow. Thank you. How much do I owe you?” You pull out your credits card. Maz pushes your hand away.

“Nothing,” Maz shakes her head.

“No. I must pay. You are being so kind to us,” You insist as Poe comes up having put BB-8 down.

“It is my pleasure to serve. So, don’t worry about payment. Just rest.”

“Thank you, Maz.” You smile. The woman turns to leave you two.

“Maz, um, where is my room?” Poe inquires stopping Maz.

“This is your room,” Maz gestures to _your_ room.

“Huh?” Poe raises an eyebrow.

“This is my only room left and you two are married, right?” Maz assumes.

“Married!” You and Poe exclaim the word.

“No. No. No.” You and Poe shake yours heads in denial.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to put more pressure on your relationship by bringing up marriage. But you two are obviously together so this room should be fine, right?”

You and Poe are prepared to make a protest but a four-armed Volpai runs up.

“Maz, we’ve run out of Mezerane gold and a new batch of pirates have arrived!” the Volpai panics.

“Oh! We better fix that,” Maz’s mind goes back to her work. She looks back to you and Poe though.

“I will send up fresh clothes for you, Meia,” Maz promises then walks away with the Volpai leaving you, Poe and BB-8 alone to the room with the single bed.

“Um…” Poe does not know what to say about the situation. His hand just goes to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly.

“So…” You don’t’ know what to do.

“I can sleep on the floor as long as you give me one of the pillows,” Poe offers.

You consider the offer but the poor man already had to sleep on the disgusting prison cell floor today. You know he would like to sleep in the bed.

“No. It’s okay. We can share the bed,” You walk further into the room and close the door behind you.

“R-really?” Poe starts to follow you.

“Yeah. We’ve both been through a lot today. I’m sure we both deserve a comfortable place to sleep.”

Poe nods his head in agreement. He starts to smile.

“Besides, we both know that if you try something, I can kill you like that,” You snap your fingers.

“I would never try anything!”

“Good. Now, I’m going to go shower,” You inform Poe. He just nods and walks toward the wall furthest from the one that has the door for the bathroom.

In the bathroom you take off your no longer beautiful dress and place your lightsaber and credits car on the sink’s counter. You take off the bloody pendant as well. You frown seeing how it lacks its brilliance. You start to wash and scrub it in the sink till no trace of Asharr is left on it.

The incased coaxium shines like a star in your hands. You notice in the metal part of the pendant, carved words. Rubbing your thumb over the etched letters, you know the words are not Aurebesh. You cannot read them.

“Maybe Maz can read it,” You put it down. You turn your attention away from the freshly cleaned jewelry. You get in the shower and find on the wall of it, rows of different shampoos, conditioners, soaps and ointment. The container labeled bacta is the one you can tell is used most often. You yourself will be using it too after washing. 

The warm water of the shower feels amazing on your skin. It soothes your aching muscles. You pump out some of the shampoo labeled Tarisian Rose and let your fingers massage your scalp. You don’t do as good a job as the women did at the spa on Canto Bight but it is fine. Washing it out you get the conditioner with the same label and repeat your actions. You get a simple liquid soap to wash the rest of your body. When your hand reaches your stomach, you rub softly as if you were caressing your unborn children. But you do not dally to long there as you want to sleep. You wash off the soap and step out of the shower. You apply the bacta ointment everywhere.

Toweling off you, you wonder if Maz has sent up your new clothes. You walk to the bathroom door and crack it open. You see Poe kneeling before BB-8.

“I’m glad we’re back together too, but you can go into sleep-mode if you want, buddy. I know it’s been a long day for you too,” Poe talks to the droid so tenderly as if it were a person. BB-8 chirps then goes into his sleep-mode.

“Poe,” you call to him keeping most of your body hidden by the towel and the door.

“Yes?” Poe looks back to you.

“Did Maz send up clothes?”

“Yes,” He stands. You see now he has removed his shoes, jacket and belt. His shirt’s buttons undone exposing more of his smooth chest. He grabs something folded from the bed and brings it toward you.

“There’s a pair of boots out here too but I don’t think you need them tonight.

“Thank you,” You take the cloth from him. You find it is held together by a gray belt.

“Tarisian Rose,” You hear Poe mumble. He must smell you.

“If you want to shower, you can after I dress,” You tell him.

“I might, thank you,” He smiles. You close the door to give yourself privacy. You unfold the clothes Maz has brought. You put on the pair of gray pants and find they stop mid-calf but they have deep pockets. The white linen tunic is soft against your skin. You try on the gray belt and find it fits well. It even has a small holster. You put your lightsaber in it.

“Wow. It fits perfectly,” You smile. But you take off the belt as you don’t want to sleep in it. You lay Moxa’s pendant on the nightstand as well. You put you credits card in one of you deep pockets. You then recall the item you had kept hidden in your chest with the card. You have lost it now as you left the pieces of your torn ultrasound on the counter in the ship. You sigh but must know it is better to have your actually children within you than to just have a picture of them.

“The bathroom is free now,” You step out of the bathroom. Poe gets up from the floor and passes you. You lay your belt and lightsaber on the nightstand next to the bed before getting into the bed. You reach over to turn of the lantern but stop. Poe will need the light to see.

You go ahead and close your eyes. You are absolutely ready to sleep. You relax your body from your toes all the way to your jaw. It is easy to do in this comfortable bed. You feel yourself drift.

* * *

In the hours when all of Takodana sleeps, you wake with a sudden urge to relieve yourself. You sit up in the bed and find Poe sleeping on the far side of the bed. His back is turned toward you. BB-8 rests in sleep mode against the wall. You do your best to tiptoe to the bathroom. You slip inside and do as nature calls.

You wash your hands and towel them off. You look at yourself in the mirror. Your facial bruises have already healed. You can see your hair is somehow thicker. You run your hand through your hair then lower it. You hang the towel back on the hook. You look to the mirror once more. Your close your eyes as you start to rub them. You open them once more. You gasp.

“Ben,” You see him. He has replaced your reflection in the mirror. His lips are slightly spread allowing him to breathe rather heavily. His eyes run over you almost shocked. Is he surprised by seeing you as well?

“Ben,” you start to reach for him but you stop yourself. The last time you saw him without being with him in person, you touched him and ended up in the medial bay for three weeks. He may not even want you to touch him now. He must be furious with you. He must hate you.

You look to his face. There is anger. In fact, his eyes are soft and the corner of his mouth half the slightest upward curve to them. Your name slips from his lips. His voice is not exactly clear. It sounds like a distant echo yet you can hear all he says. 

You smile hearing your name.

Kylo thought he’d be pissed when he saw you. He thought seeing you would only further the aggravation in him but instead, he feels a calmness in him. His anger has turned to…happiness? His eyes go over you once more. He sees the new length of your hair.

“Your hair,” He notices the change.

“You can see me?” You touch your hair. Your cheeks burn in the nervousness that he may find you ugly with the change.

“Yes. I see you. You see me?” He checks.

“Yes.”

You still restrain yourself from reaching out to him.

“Do you see my surroundings? I do not see yours,” Kylo looks about himself before looking back to you. To him you seem to stand just beyond the glass of his ship. You can tell he is sitting. You assume by the way he sits that he is in his ship.

“No. I see only you. Is this a dream?” You wonder aloud. 

“No.” Kylo shakes his head. “The Force is connecting us.”

“The Force? “Why?”

“Because…you and I aren’t meant to be this far apart,” Kylo answers his dark eyes staying lock with yours. Such a statement makes you regret leaving him but you know why you are apart. You wet your lips with your tongue. You take deep breathe.

“Are you in your ship?” You try to change the subject back to your lack of ability to see his surroundings.

“Yes. Where are you?”

“A bathroom.”

“ _Where_?” He emphasizes the single word. You know he wants you to tell him exactly where you are. You can feel your blood rushing in your veins frenzied. You try to stay calm.

“I’m not going to tell you.”

Kylo’s jaw clenches. His eyes harden.

“Why not?” his voice grows clearer and firmer. There are many reasons for you not to tell him. You are pregnant. You still need to go to Naboo. You need t find Jyn. You have to get Poe back to the Resistance. You need to gain your own power so Kylo can love you.

“Because…I can’t be with you yet.”

“What?” His voice is harsh. His face grows pointed as his aggravation returns to him. You can see his teeth going on edge.

“I can’t be with you until I have more power. Then you can see me as your equal and then you can…you can love me,” You reveal the truth of your distance. You watch his anger change to confusion.

“You think gaining power would have any affect on me loving you?” Kylo’s voice has a slight laugh in it.

Does he think this funny?

“You don’t love me now. But if I get more power then you can-”

“Your level of power has no influence on my feelings.” He interrupts you. There is no laugh this time. Only frustration comes out. “You could be more powerful than all the Jedi and Sith together but that wouldn’t mean that I’d love you.”

You step back. The words feel like a literal blast to the chest. The air leaves your lungs and color drains from your face while tears rush to your eyes.

He doesn’t love you. No matter what you do, he won’t love you. Your body trembles. How could you be so stupid?

Kylo eyes expand seeing your physical reaction. He knows his words have not come out the way that they should have. He did not mean to make you cry. He senses the distance growing now between you two. He did not mean that either. He meant to bring you back to him.

“I-” Kylo starts.

“If you’re never going to love me then I don’t think that I can be with you. It isn’t something I can handle,” You shake your head.

Kylo struggles to verbalize what he knows he needs to say. “But you must come back to me. I-”

Kylo disappears from you and you from him.

“Ben? Kylo?” You look around yourself. He is gone. You wrap your arms around yourself and lower yourself to the lower. You lean against the wall behind you and cry. How could you not? Your heart is broken and there is no hope of fixing it. There is no hope that Kylo will ever love you.

“Meia,” You hear your newest name through the door. You know it’s Poe. You make no effort to open it. Instead you try to wipe away your tears. They keep coming though.

“Meia, are you alright?” Poe stays at the door.

“No,” Your voice breaks as does your ability to lie.

“May I come in?”

You see the door nob turn but the door doesn’t open.

“Uh huh,” You grant him the permission. Poe enters. Seeing you on the floor, he kneels down and puts his hands on you. He tries to check you for wounds.

“What has happened?”

“I-I- Please, just hold me,” You beg. Poe takes you into his arms. He holds you as you soak his shirt with your tears. There is something soothing about being held. You feel his hand stroke your hair.

“Meia, what has happened,” Poe keeps his voice tender.

“I’m an idiot. I’m so stupid,” You sob. Poe keeps his hold on you but his face is lost on why you would say such things.

“He doesn’t love me. He’ll never love me.”

It clicks in Poe’s mind. This is why you’re crying, heartbreak. But what is still a mystery to him is how now in the middle of the night on Takodana, you have been dumped in the bathroom?

I guess it is some force thing. Poe thinks and decides not to question you about it. He’s never understood the force.

“It’s okay, Meia. It’s okay.” He tries to comfort you despite barely knowing you for a full day. It takes several minutes but you cease your crying. You pull away from Poe and wipe your face.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying all over you and-”

“No. It’s fine. Really. You’re allowed to be upset. It’s natural. It’s valid. I’ve been exactly where you are before,” Poe puts his hands on your shoulders and gives a sympathetic smile.

You’ve been impregnated by the master you love but who refuses to love you back? Is what you want to ask but hold your tongue.

“When Elvinra dumped me for my own ex, I was distraught for weeks. I cried on the shoulder of almost everyone in the Resistance. It is a great pain to know someone you love doesn’t love you in return,” Poe shares his own experience with heartbreak. His brown eyes grow sad but he still smiles. He takes your face into his hands.

“The love you feel for him may never leave you but the intensity can decrease and the love can change its form over time. If you learn to spread your love to more people and be loved by them in return, this pain you’re feeling will lessen,” Poe does his best to share the wisdom he has learned and to encourage you.

“You think so?” You sniffle.

“Yes,” He nods.

You sniffle a few more time and try to wipe any excess wetness from your face.

“Thank you, Poe. I’m sorry to have disturbed your sleep with all this,” You gesture to yourself.

“It’s really fine. I don’t mind trying to help a friend.”

“A friend?” You are slightly surprised by his new term for you.

“You’ve saved my life twice when my death would have had no real affect on you. We’re friends.”

You finally smile.

“Let’s get back to bed now, honey. We’re going to have a busy day tomorrow looking for a ship,” Poe stands up. He holds out his hand to you. You take it and let him pull you up to your feet. You both leave the bathroom and get back in the bed. Poe keeps his distance from you but having his presence in the bed is now more welcomed.

You close your eyes to go back to sleep. Your mind goes to Kylo. You try not to think of him. You don’t want to think of him anymore.


	44. The Gilded Osprey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos. I am trying to be better at responding to comments but if I don't it does not mean that I haven't read them. I do and I really appreciate them all! You guys are literally the best! Anyway, here is the next chapter! Please, enjoy.

# Chapter 44

Poor Poe. You think sitting across the table from him in the cantina. He yawns for a third time as he tries drink a cup of tea. Several times in the night he woke to find you crying over Kylo. Each time he pulled you close and held you till you fell asleep. After the third time, he didn’t let go of you. You woke in his arms when the sun rose. You slipped out from his hold and put on your accessories. He woke soon after and you both agreed to go eat breakfast in the cantina with BB-8.

None of you speak. You don’t want to speak. Though you and Poe are friends, it is so strange that he has had to comfort you several times in one night over someone he would hate if he knew the truth. Poe, being a gentleman, does not speak of it either as to not upset you further or embarrass you. BB-8 is oblivious to all of it.

“Good morning,” Maz pops up out of nowhere. You nearly spit out your tea at her sudden appearance.

“Good morning,” You wipe your chin. Poe snorts at your reaction but also gives Maz a morning greeting.

“I think I have found you a ship,” Maz gives the news.

“You have?” Poe is the more excited of you two.

“Yes. My associate has come into a bigger and would like to get of his older one. It is in good shape but if you want to check it out, it is right outside,” Maz points toward the large door.

“Absolutely,” Poe stands up and looks to you. He tilts his head toward the door as if to ask if you will come with him.

“I want to finish my tea. You go ahead, Poe. I trust your judgement of the ship,” You give him the power to make the decision and hand over your credits card.

“Okay. Coming, buddy?” Poe looks to BB-8. The droid happily rolls away with Poe and Maz. You sit back in your seat sipping your tea. It is not Gatalentan tea but you don’t want anything that reminds you Kylo. This is why you’ve opted for this hot leaf juice that calls itself a “tea”. Finishing it, you put it on the table next to the plate that had once been covered in your breakfast. You take a breath and close your eyes just for a minute.

Someone calls your name. Not Meia not Sly. Someone calls your true name. You open your eyes. You are still in the cantina. You look around though.

“Ben? Kylo?” You softly say the name. Was the force connecting the two of you again?

There is no trace of the man.

“I must have imagined it,” You shake your head.

“Come,” You hear the voice and your name again. You stand up from your seat. Who is calling you? You walk away from your table.

The voice keeps calling. It calls away from the cantina floor. You see a set of wide steps leading down to a dark cellar. You stay at the top of the stairs. You hesitate to go. But you are beckoned again.

You let your hand drag against the cold stones of the wall as you step down. The air is cold here. You cannot stop though. Reaching the cellar, you cease to hear your name or any voice at all. You walk pass many metal doors with red lights giving away that they are locked. You stop at one. You don’t know but you feel that you should.

“Beep. Beep.” The door’s lock chimes. It flashes white and rolls up on its own. You enter the room. You see many objects that you assume Maz has collected over the years as most of them are covered in dust. You feel a faint warmth radiating from something further inside. You naturally gravitate toward it. The heat increases as you come to a table with a wooden box. You kneel down to better look at the box. There is a simple latch there with no lock. Before you can control yourself, your finger flip it up and open the lid.

“What?” You see a lightsaber inside. Why would Maz have a lightsaber? Is she a Jedi or a Sith or just a force wielder like yourself?

You reach into the box. Your fingers curl around the hilt. As they do, the room begins to spin. You try grab something but you fall. You fall to snow covered ground. You know exactly where you are.

“How am I back at Starkiller Base?” You look around the woods where Kylo has trained you (and fucked you). It is dark. But not quiet. You hear a scream. You looking behind you. A young, beautiful woman is there with her dark haired tied up in three buns. She wears light colored rags. How is she not cold? In her hand is the lightsaber you hold. She lights and prepares to fight. You turn to see who she is going fight.

“Kylo!” You gasp seeing the man maskless. His hair is wild and blood drips from his side. He still comes toward the girl with his weapon lit. You try to reach out to him but you fall through the ground.

You land on your feet on the lush green island surrounded by water with rocky mountains. You stand on a green grassy hill. You’ve seen this place before in Kylo’s mind that time he thought you were connected to Luke Skywalker. You can smell the salt of the sea and feel the wind. As you look around, you see the Skywalker there at a cliff in a hooded cloak. The girl dressed in gray hikes her way up the hill. She has a staff in one hand. She carries a bag across her and keeps a blaster at her side. Skywalker removes his hood. The girls is able to slide her arm into the strap attached to the staff so she have it out of her way. She pulls her bag to be in front of her. She slips the lightsaber out of it. She holds it out toward Skywalker. Her eyes are wet and desperate. She needs him to take it. Who is this girl?

Everything spins again. You sit in a ship. You know it is Han Solo’s Millenium Falcon. It just as you remember form Ben’s mind. You sit behind Chewie and the girl who flies it. The lightsaber is attached to her belt. Where is Han? WHO IS THIS GIRL?

Your body is sucked away. Breathless you register that you are back in the room where you found the lightsaber. You drop it in the box. You stand up and hold your naked arms as chills run through your body.

“Meia,” You hear someone behind you. You spin around and your hand goes to your own lightsaber.

“Maz,” You move your hand away.

“It called you, didn’t it?” Maz walks toward the open box. She picks up the lightsaber. She has a hopeful smile on her face.

“Is it yours?” You don’t answer her question.

“No. It belonged to Luke Skywalker and his father before him,” Maz answers.

“This belonged to Darth Vader?” You look at the weapon.

“Before he was Vader, he was Anakin Skywalker. He was Anakin after Vader as well.”

Anakin? Was the Anakin you’ve met this Anakin Skywalker? Is Anakin Darth Vader? If so, then Ben is his grandson? But why would he want Ben to not follow in his footsteps?

“It called you. You should take it,” Maz tries to put it in your hand.

“No.” You push it away.

“No? It called to you.”

“It’s not meant to be mine. I saw who it is meant for,” You do not forget the dirty but pretty girl of the vision.

“I see,” Maz puts the lightsaber back into the box and closes it. “It is strange. I thought it would be for you.”

“Why?”

“I sense the force with you and I saw your lightsaber.” Maz gestures to the weapon strapped to your side. “I thought you might be one of Luke’s former students who seeks to find him and bring back from his isolation.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you but I’ve never met the man. My intention is to get to Naboo to my sister, not to find Skywalker,” You restate your goal. Knowing now that no gaining of power will make Kylo love you, making a life on Naboo with Jyn and your future children is all you want.

“Mm. Well, I hope the ship will help you and Poe travel safely there,” Maz takes your hand and pats it.

“Thank you for your help, Maz. I don’t know how I will ever repay you for your kindness.”

“Knowing I have helped someone is payment enough for me.”

You two exchange smiles.

“You better get to your pilot. You two have a long journey,” Maz lets go of your hand.

“Yes,” you start out of the room with Maz by you. You almost trip over a loose rope in the room. You catch yourself and look down. Maz apologizes and moves the rope. As she does, you catch a glimpse of your new pendant. You realize it has been hidden in your tunic. You pull it out.

“Oh, Maz! Before we part ways, I was wondering if you could tell me if you can read this,” You kneel down so you can come closer to her. You hold out the circle.

“Where did you get this?” She grabs it and stares at it intently.

“I…I got from a woman,” You don’t feel the need to mention that you killed her.

“This is the royal pendant of the Yaruba family on Kessel. This is to never leave the royal family. How did you get it?” Maz still does not look up at you.

“The queen of kessel is dead. Her lover took this last token of her and when I killed the lover, I took this,” You summarize hoping Maz won’t think you a horrible person now. Maz lets go of the pendant.

“The queen of Kessel is dead?”

“Yes. She was killed by the First Order,” You enlighten Maz.

“Wow. I must make sure no smugglers go there then,” Maz speaks more to herself than you.

“Yes. But can you tell me what it says?” You return the attention back to the pendant. Maz takes a hold of it again. She reads the etchings.

“It says that this a part of the first ever batch of purified coaxium. This is a very rare item. You should keep it hidden on your person or someone may try to steal it,” Maz advices.

“I will. Thank you,” You tuck it back into your tunic. You straighten up and leave. You ascend the stairs and leave the Cantina. Stepping outside you see BB-8. He informs you that he has been waiting for you. You follow him away from Maz’s.

At the docking area, BB-8 leads you to a cooper colored, light freighter. It seems to be somewhere between a triangle and a circle. You can tell it is a bit older like Maz said but it is not as bad as the other ships you saw. BB-8 shows you the ramp and leads up into the ship.

There is a hall shaped sort of like paneled tube. BB-8 leads you to the right. You pass a few areas before reaching the large cockpit. There Poe stands checking the control system. BB-8 beeps about our arrival.

“Oh, there you are!” Poe turns to look at you with a smile. “Welcome to your ship - the Gilded Osprey.”

“Thanks. How much did she cost me?” You ask.

“I was able to talk him down to nine thousand credits,” Poe pulls your credits card out of his pocket and hands it back to you.

“Wow. Good job,” You put the card into your pocket.

“I’ll show you around her,” Poe steps away from the controls and begins to walk. You follow him and listen as he shows each room and storage area. His eyes are bright and lively as he explains the different parts of each place and the machinery. His enjoyment of the ship makes you enjoy it more though you have never had much interest in ships.

“Now, we’re back at the cockpit. If you’re ready to go, we can leave,” Poe leaves the decision up to you.

“Yes, please,” You take the co-pilot seat as Poe takes the pilot’s, as he should. You beam seeing this seat has a seatbelt that locks when you fasten it.

The Gilded Osprey takes off from Takodana. It jets into space quickly and, to your pleasure, smoothly. Unlike usual, your stomach is rather settled during the process even when Poe jumps into the hyperspeed.

“When do you think we will reach Naboo?” You ask Poe coming out of Hyperspeed.

“A few hours, I think. We’re going at a pretty good speed and we are not as far as we were when we were coming from Canto Bight.”

“Good. Good.” You relax in your seat.

“Don’t relax just yet, Meia.”

“What? Is there something wrong?” You stiffen up, panic coming.

“No. No. But we need to switch seat,” Poe hits the autopilot button and stands up.

“Why?” You do not touch your buckle.

“Because,” Poe unbuckles you, “You are a captain and owner of this ship. You need to learn how to fly.”

“What!” You grip your armrests as Poe grabs you gently by the shoulders to pull you for your seat.

“You have to learn how to fly, Captain. I can’t be your personal pilot forever,” Poe keeps pulling you.

“But-but-” You try to keep from coming out but Poe wraps his arms around your waist and forcibly lifts you from your chair. You wave your arms and kick your legs as Poe places you in the pilot’s chair and buckles you into it.

“You need to learn. You never know when you will be in a situation where you will have to fly alone,” Poe keeps his hands on your shoulders which keeps you down. With his face so close you can see how around the pupils in his eyes there is a starburst of umber while the rest of his iris is a tawny color. But then around the other rim of his eyes is a, almost black color. It is a bit similar to Kylo’s own dark eyes. But Kylo’s is less of a burst of umber and more a ring. Kylo’s eyes hold more sadness and tenderness in them than Poe’s. Poe’s holds a sense of excitement and zeal in them. 

Do not think about Kylo! You scold your mind.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be alone in a ship though…” You try to push up again. Poe keeps you down.

“You never know, honey. It is better to be prepared,” Poe insists.

“I guess you’re right…” You give up your struggle.

“I am,” Poe smirks confidently. He sits in your co-pilot seat. You grab ahold of the controls. You take several breaths but to your surprise and delight, the ship stays on course and flies smoothly.

“This isn’t so bad,” You look over to Poe smiling.

“It’s still on autopilot,” Poe laughs.

“Oh…” You blush realizing your mistake.

“I’m going to go over the controls before I turn off the autopilot. Okay, Captain?” He adds the nickname with the little intent to give you some confidence. Poe happily tells you each part of the control system. He gives the names and their functions. You listening carefully not wanting to screw it up. You even make him repeat himself once more so it is more ingrained into your head.

“Okay, so do you think you are ready?” Poe asks his finger hovering over the autopilot button.

“Yes,” You nod. Poe releases the ship from the autopilot. You feel the controls jerk in your hands and the ship begins to sway. You quickly take control and shift the ship back to its course. It is rather strange, you don’t feel too out of place steering the ship. In fact, it feels rather easy.

“Now, let’s try to speed up,” Poe wants to do a test. It takes a few tries but you successfully speed up the ship then when Poe says to slow it down, you are able to do so.

“You’re a natural,” Poe pats your shoulder.

“Ha. Thanks,” You take the compliment lightly.

“I guess I can trust you to fly while I get my nap in,” Poe begins to slump into this chair.

“What? No! You have to stay wake. I don’t want to screw up and wreck!” You verbalize your disagreement with his plan.

“What are you going to wreck into? We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Poe gestures to the vastness before you.

“Please, Poe. I’d really be more comfortable if you’d stay alert with me,” You plead. He gets a little smile.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll stay awake then,” Poe agrees. 

“Thank you.”

You two sit comfortably together.

“How long have you been flying, Poe?”

“My mom started teaching me when I was six years old,” Poe answers.

“Six? That’s young.”

“Yeah. But my Mom was a pilot and thought it was important for me to know how to fly. It was a nice way to spend time with her as well.” Poe remembers his mother. A smile comes to his face.

“She used to sit me in her lap when we would get in her RZ-1 A Wing Interceptor. Her arms would go around me like she was giving me a hug though her hands would be leading mine on how to guide the ship. She would laugh when I pretended to shoot TIE-Fighters. She had a great laugh. Everything about her was so…warm.” Poe recounts mostly for himself. You listened though intently. You can imagine a tiny Poe doing such things. It is sweet. You wonder if your own children will think of you so fondly one day.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to overshare,” Poe apologizes.

“Don’t be sorry! I like it. What was your mother’s name?” You inquire for more deatil.

“Shara. Shara Bey,” He answers.

“Shara. That’s beautiful,” You mean it.

“I think so too.”

“Tell me more about her, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.”

Poe proceeds to regale you with tales of his mother, Lt. Shara Bey of the Rebel Alliance. The stories of her battles against the Empire intrigue you. You especially enjoy the bits when Poe mentions the romance that began between Shara and the Poe’s father, Kes Dameron. You learn is it from his father that Poe has gotten his beautiful singing voice and songs. You share the sadness with Poe as he tells of his mother’s death.

“I am sorry for your loss, Poe,” You sincerely say.

“Thank you but it was so long ago. I have long since come to terms with it.” Poe does not want your pity. “What about you? What about your parents?”

“I never knew them. I was taken by the order as an infant.”

“Oh. You were raised by the First Order?”

“Lots of us troopers are. But some are taken away from their families.”

“That’s fucked up!” Poe bursts.

“Yes. Yes, it is.” You agree. You think of your own children. You never want them to become troopers.

“I can’t believe that they steal children. The Resistance must see that this ends. No child should be stolen from their parents and forced to become soldiers,” Poe shakes his head.

“I agree,” You enjoy his fervor.

“You must be sure to share this and any other atrocities that the First Order has done to you to General Organa,” Poe puts his hand on your arm.

General Organa…Kylo’s mother. How can you tell her that her son is apart of a group that kidnaps children and makes them soldiers? How can you tell her how her son is apart of a group that does their best to tear away one’s whole identity so they are nothing but another cog in the First Order machine? How can you tell her how her Ben used his position of power to get you alone then he seduced, impregnated you and broke your heart?

Tears spring to your eyes again.

You will not tell her about that. That’s none of her business after all. It would only hurt her as well to know her son is a scoundrel.

“I’m sorry. Is it painful for you to think of your time in the First Order,” Poe has noticed your watering eyes. You wipe at them.

“Oh, no. I’m fine to talk about it. I was thinking of something else,” You touch his hand to assure him of this.

“Your ex?” Poe guesses. You move your hand from his and he removes his from your arm. You look straight ahead.

“Is it _that_ obvious?”

“Only because of last night.”

“About last night. I’m sorry I-”

“Don’t be sorry. I told you already that I didn’t mind being there for you.”

“You’re a very nice guy, Poe,” Your eyes go from the stars to the pilot. He holds his finger up to his lips and shushes you.

“Don’t tell anybody,” He winks and smirks.

“I won’t,” You promise lightly.

“Do you see that cluster of asteroids up there,” Poe points forward to the growing group of floating rocks.

“Yes.”

“You’re going to fly us right through that.”

“What!”

Poe laughs at you.

“I’m just kidding. Let’s switch seats. I’ll fly us through it,” Poe starts to stand. He presses the autopilot button allowing you to let go of the controls. You unbuckle and stand. As you and Poe try to switch positions, you foot catches on base of the control panel.

“Oop!” You feel yourself fall. Poe’s firm body catches you.

“Careful there, honey,” He keeps ahold of you. You lift your head and find his face far too close to yours. You can look deep into his starburst eyes but you look away and set yourself back up.

“Thanks,” You finish passing him. You sit down as does he. You buckle again as you two get closer to the asteroids. You hope he can make it a smooth ride.

* * *

No one on Starkiller Base dares to get anywhere near Kylo Ren. After his return from his midnight flight this morning, Commander Ren has destroyed three cleaning droids that crossed his path and nearly choked a cadet that tripped before the commander to death. In the morning meeting with Commander Ren, General Hux kept his mouth shut as to not provoke the masked man. No one can figure out what has upset the commander so greatly and with Supreme Leader Snoke away from base again, there is no one who will even try to find out.

Kylo lies down in his quarters as he had no sleep last night. How could he sleep? You, his apprentice, the mother of his child, has refused to return to him. And all because he hasn’t said that he loves you. Why is such a simple expression so important? His parents rarely said the phrase to each other. In fact, he can recall maybe five times that they both said it to each other in front of him. They expressed their feelings through their actions not words.

“Sometimes, it is better to show someone you love them with your actions than to tell them and do nothing,” Chewie had told him this when he asked his Wookie uncle why his parents did not constantly declare their love for each other unlike the couples he saw in comic books.

Kylo shakes his head. He knows he should think about his past. He should not think of Han Solo, Princess Leia or Chewbacca. But he cannot help it. He cannot speak to Snoke of this problem as he is not around and he is convinced that you don’t love him. But you do love him. He knows this. He knew this before you even said it to him. You showed it often even when you two weren’t fucking. Didn’t he show it too? Could you not tell through his actions what his true feelings are? Could you not tell that he had lied because he was afraid of you knowing that you are his weakness?

Kylo turns onto his side. He knows he should sleep but he still can’t. He has no idea where you are and he cannot really rest till he finds you. He’ll find you and do whatever it takes to keep you with him. But he hopes it won’t have to be saying… _that_.

* * *

The ride through the cluster is rough and once you have cleared it, you rush to the bathroom to see part of your breakfast again. The vomiting leaves you feeling weak. You tell Poe of this and leave him to find a bed in the crew’s quarters. There are two bunkbeds. You take a lower bunk and lie down. You cannot fall asleep but it just feels good to lie down. You turn onto your side to get more comfortable. You close your eyes to rest them for a minute.

Opening your eyes, you lose your breath.


	45. Arrived

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 45

“Anakin!” You sit up seeing the man on standing on the floor near your bed. He does not look like he usually does. There is a haziness about him and a gray tinge about him.

“How are you here? I’m not meditating,” You do not understand.

“Force ghosts can appear even out of meditations,” He gives a simple explanation.

“Oh…”

“I need to talk to you.” Anakin comes closer to you.

“What? Do you need to tell me that you are Darth Vader? Because I know now that you were and you are the father to Luke Skywalker and you are Ben’s grandfather,” You update him on the information you just learned as you stand angry that he did not share these things with you himself.

“I am all of those things but that is not what I need to talk to you about,” Anakin tries to get back to his purpose.

“What is it then?” You cross your arms frustrated with the ghost.

“You need to go back to Ben,” Anakin states.

“What?” You throw your arms down at the statement.

“You need to go back to Ben,” The man repeats.

“No. I’m not going back to him,” You cross your arms again and turn your back to the ghost.

“You must. You are the one who can lead him to the-”

“To the light? Why? You embraced the dark side. Why shouldn’t Kylo?” You snap looking at him over your shoulder.

“My embracing of the dark side was a mistake. At the end of my life I turned back to the light. Ben needs to turn back to the light.” Anakin insists. You turn back around.

“Why can’t you bring him back to the light? He practically worships you. I know it is hard to reach him in the darkness but surely the great and powerful Darth Vader could reach his own grandson,” You don’t see why he cannot.

“I’ve tried but I’ve failed,” Anakin admits. He looks down ashamed at his failure to reach his only grandchild. He lifts his head again.

“You must be the one to help. You must go back to him,” Anakin maintains.

“I can’t. It is too painful. He doesn’t love me. I’m just his plaything,” you try to explain, “I have no influence over him.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I’m not. He told me himself that he doesn’t love me. He will never love me because loving me will make him weak. He won’t give into it,” Each statement makes you want to cry.

“He’s lying.”

“How would you know? You’ve never met him.”

“I’ve watched him. I know he is struggling between light and darkness, between you and what he thinks he wants. If you go back to him you can show him what is right,” Anakin reaches out as if to touch you but you move out of his reach. He does not come any closer. In fact, his light eyes go to something behind you. You don’t notice.

“I’m not going back! I’m going to Naboo!” You declare.

“Naboo?” A voice comes from behind you. A chill runs down your spine and the hair on the back your neck stands up. You know this voice. Anakin disappears. You turn around slowly. Kylo stands in front of the bed where you had laid not long ago.

He is absolutely colossal standing there. Only his pants cover his body. You involuntarily lick your lips seeing his bare chest, taut crossed arms and his more than pleased face.

“Did you see him?” You ask curious if Kylo saw his grandfather.

“I can’t see your surroundings or your precious little pilot,” Kylo sneers.

So, he didn’t see Anakin but he knows about Poe? How? You are confused and concerned.

“So, your pilot is taking you to Naboo?” He brings up your destination and Poe again. Each time he says pilot he seems disgusted. Is he jealous of Poe?

“No.” You lie.

“I heard you. I know that is where you are going,” Kylo knows the truth.

“You misheard me,” You raise your hand and wave it in hopes of mind tricking Kylo. He laughs. Though it is at your expense, you enjoy the sound of his laugh. You also feel a bit silly like the last time you tried to mind trick him.

“You know that doesn’t work on me,” He goes to grab your arm like he did before. You pull away before he can grab it.

“Don’t touch me,” You put more space between the two of you. You see all merriment leave Kylo’s face. Hurt comes to his dark eyes. It’s not that you don’t want him to touch you but it is dangerous for him physically and for you emotionally.

“If you touch me, you could get hurt like I did when I touched you that time,” You try to remind him of your past experience.

“Oh, right,” he moves his hand back. “I guess I will have to wait to touch you when I retrieve you from Naboo.”

“I’m not going to go with you,” You do change your mind.

“We’ll see.” He is not convinced.

“I mean it, Ben. I can’t be with you.” You put your hands behind your back. His jaw tightens hearing this. His eyes stay focused on your face. He sees how your eyes are downcast. He closes the space between the two of you. He has to merely mutter your name and you lift your eyes. You want to step back from him but you cannot. You can literally feel his breath against your skin. You can smell his natural musk as well as hints of leather, embers and cedar. His eyes are so focused on yours. All the anger you feel toward him and the sadness seem to dissipate as you keep looking at his eyes. He raises his hand and no longer fears the consequences of his actions. He rests his hand against your cheek. You naturally lean in to it. He starts to lean down. Your lips tingle ready to feel his. You want-no need them. He stops keeping his lips just out of reach from yours.

“I will see you on Naboo, _sweetheart_ ,” He vows. Just as suddenly as he appeared, he disappears. You touch your cheek where his hand had just been. You registered what just happened.

“Shit,” You groan. Now, he will be going to Naboo too.

* * *

Kylo lowers his hand as you have disappeared from him. He still feels your cheek’s warmth in the palm of his hand. He smiles to himself has he squeezes his own hand. He feels no side effects to touching you. He figures his stronger connection to the force must have prevented him from being affected they way you had been. He knows where you are going. He will find you and take you back with him. Then you two can get back to your lives and prepare for the child.

After dressing, Kylo speeds to send a transmission to his knights. Vicrul answers his leader.

“Yes, Kylo?”

“Where are you all?” Kylo asks.

“Just outside of Geonosis,” Vicrul gives their location.

“Go to Naboo. My apprentice will be arriving there soon. Detain her there till I arrive,” Kylo instructs. 

“Alright.”

“She will resist and may attempt to fight. Subdue but _do not_ harm her,” Kylo is sure to make this is clear. He will not say why as it is not his knights’ business but he does not want her hurt. Vicrul pauses at the last demand.

"What about the other woman?" Vicrul brings up the other female trooper. 

"She is of no concern. Just get my apprentice."

“We will get her,” Vicrul promises. It is enough to satisfy Kylo who dismisses the order of Ren member and ends the call.

* * *

You begin to walk back to the cockpit. You dread to tell Poe that Kylo Ren knows that you both are going to Naboo and that he fully intends on taking you away. Kylo will probably try to kill Poe or get information out of him about the Resistance. You cannot let that happen to Poe. He must return to the Resistance.

You want to stay in Naboo with Jyn but it might be safer to pick her up and go straight to the Resistance with Poe. Once you know Kylo is gone, you and Jyn can return to Naboo. You probably shouldn’t tell Poe any of this. You should just make it seem that you want to help the Resistance more. Then no one will panic.

“Feeling better, Captain?” Poe gives a kind grin to you as you come back to the co-pilot seat.

“Yep.” You nod.

“Good. You know when we get to Naboo, you should really see a doctor about your motion sickness,” Poe sounds like Han.

“I’ll be fine. How far are we from Naboo now?” You ask.

“See that,” Poe point outside the glass. You look out and see mostly stars.

“What?”

“That!” He points more intently. “Do you see that green dot?”

Looking harder you finally notice a tiny green dot.

“Yes.”

“That’s Naboo. We’ll be there in the hour.”

“Really?” Your eyes light up. Poe smiles pleased with your happiness.

“Yes.”

“Finally,” You sigh and allow yourself some ease. It will take much longer than an hour for Kylo to reach Naboo. You can find Jyn and leave before Kylo ever arrives.

* * *

Jyn’s townhome in the capital of Naboo though small in comparison to many homes on the planet is far bigger than she ever hoped to have and it is all hers. She loves that she can walk out of her bedroom onto a balcony and look out to the streets filled with people. Her balcony is nearly overrun with greenery but she likes it. Downstairs she has her own kitchen, a dining area and an area to have guests. On the upper level is her room, a room she has set aside for you and another room where she currently allows Han and Chewie to stay. She hopes you will like it as much as her when you come.

Jyn has also gotten know her new neighbors. They are all so kind on Naboo and hospitable. They seem have to accepted her as a fellow Nabooian the moment she moved into the house. It is strange to feel so welcome by people she does not even know. She has found out where Robal’s family lives and has been able to make arrangements to meet them tomorrow! She has also been invited to the annual Festival of Lights that is tomorrow night. She remembers Slip speaking of the festival. He witnessed it when He accompanied General Hux on a diplomatic mission on Naboo. You were more interested in Slip’s description than she. It will be a shame if you miss it when you wanted to see it more than she. How is she to enjoy this beautiful planet and new life until you come?

She accompanies Han and Chewie to the city’s docking bay every day since their arrival a couple days ago. It hasn’t been long timewise since you and she were separated but it feels so much longer since she has no idea if you are even alive. For all she knows, you could have been killed on Canto Bight or taken away by the Knights of Ren.

As Han and Chewie check on the new laden cargo on their ship they have gotten from a new client, Jyn walks about the bay. She looks at each of the dozens of new ships that have docked. She has heard many talk of how there is typically an influx of tourist at this time of year as they all come for the Festival of Lights. Alas, none has you. 

Jyn hangs her head in disappointment as she makes her way back toward the Eravanna. She will just have to come back tomorrow and look for a ship that could possibly be carrying you.

A loud noise makes Jyn raise her head. Looking into the sky she sees a copper looking ship landing three rows over from her current sport. Her heart jumps in hope. She runs to find the ship. She prays it is you.

Finding the new arrival, she sees the ramp has been lowered. She clasps her hands in front of her chest waiting to see if you will come out of the ship.

“Please. Please, be Meia,” She begs under her breath to no one in particular.

“Bweerrrrop,” A white and orange BB astromech droid rolls down the ramp. Jyn’s hope starts to fade. It is lost as a handsome man with dark hair and a leather jacket walks down with one hand on his hip and the other holding a credits card. Jyn’s had let go of each other. She bows her head with a downhearted sigh.

“Jyn?”

She lifts her eyes. Seeing you come down the ramp, Jyn’s face brightens. She runs to you and you to her. Wrapping arms around each other, you two hold tightly as if to never let go.

“I’ve missed you, Jyn,” You don’t pull away.

“I’ve missed you too. I’ve been so worried,” Jyn squeezes tighter.

“You would not believe all of the shit I had to go through to get here.”

Jyn breaks the hug but keep keeps her hands under your arms.

“But you’re here now and I couldn’t be happier.” Jyn’s smile is so warm. You give her another hug before fully separating.

“Come, let me take you to _home_ ,” Jyn takes your hand in hers.

 _Home_. That is exactly what you want. You start to let her lead you but you stop.

“Wait. I have to tell Poe that I’m going with you.”

“Poe?”

“He was my pilot. He’s just gone to pay for my ship’s docking fees,” you nod to the Gilded Osprey.

“Your ship?” Jyn’s eyes grow.

“Yes. You really won’t believe all that I went through to get here,” All of it hits you in a flash.

“You must tell me all of it.”

“I will when we get…home.” You like the word.

“I got us a pass to stay for-Oh, hi,” Poe walks up waving the docking pass but stops seeing Jyn. He smiles. BB-8 rolls at his side.

“Poe Dameron, this is my sister Jyn. Jyn this is Poe Dameron and this is BB-8,” You make the introductions.

“Hi,” Both humans shake hands.

“Jyn, has a house here. We are going to go there. You can come if you want or you can stay on the ship,” You give him the options.

“I have to contact my friends,” Poe references the Resistance, “But if you give me the address I will come after.”

Jyn gives away the address.

“Great. I will come by later then. Oh, here is your card back, Meia,” Poe hands it over.

“Thanks. I’ll see ya,” You and Jyn turn and walk away.

“He is very handsome,” Jyn whispers as she thinks you two might be in ear shot of the pilot. You look back at Poe. He kneels down to talk to his little buddy. He turns just in time to catch you. He smiles. You look away blushing having been caught.

“He’s okay.”

Jyn purses her lips sensing that you may be hiding your true opinion. But she won’t press you on that now.

“Oh, we must stop to let Han and Chewie know that you are here. Han will be very happy. He’s been very worried about you though he would not say a thing but Chewie told me he can tell,” Jyn reminds you of the old pilot and Wookie.

“They’re still here?”

“Yes. But they are leaving tomorrow. They’ve got another run.”

You are not surprised.

“Come. They are right over here,” Jyn leads you toward the Eravanna.

Boarding the ship, Jyn calls out for Han and Chewie. The Wookie emerges with a walking stick. He makes a cheerful roar. You hope it means that he is pleased to see you.

“Hi,” You wave to the Wookie.

You see Han come up behind the Wookie. Seeing you, he starts to smile.

“Hey, kid,” He walks up to you with his hands on his hips.

“Hey,” You greet him back.

“She just got here. Let’s go back to the house and we can all catch up,” Jyn decides to make the plans. Chewie agrees with Jyn and starts for the exit. You also nod in agreement to the plan. The three of you turn to go.

“Are you coming, old man?” You look back at Han and playfully call him by your preferred nickname for him. He gives a glare but then smiles.

“I’m coming.”

Traveling to Jyn’s home, you easily become enamored with the city. All of the elaborate stone buildings and mosaics are breathtaking. The people all smile so kindly and the air is so fresh. It is perfection.

“Oh, let me get some of the fruit here,” Jyn stops seeing a market filled with foods and handcrafted items. Walking through the stalls, you take in the smiling faces and bounty of Naboo. Jyn walks faster than you as she seems to know where she is going. Chewie and Han stop at a booth where a man pours free samples of his wine. You walk on.

Your eye is caught by a vendor to your right. The table Is covered in items intended for the care of infants. There are blankets and clothes. A cradle sits behind the booth with its attendant. There are booties and toys on the table as well. You run your fingers lightly over some of the items.

“If you see anything you like, let me know,” The attendant smiles. You nod and keep looking at them. Do babies need all of these things? Should you start buying now? You probably shouldn’t. You will just have to leave it behind when you and Jyn leave with Poe. You still need to tell Jyn about that plan and about the babies…

“Meia,” Jyn comes to your side with a netted bag full of fruit thus startling you. You move your hand away from the booth’s items.

“What are you doing looking at baby stuff?” Jyn’s brows furrows.

“Um…” You sigh. Now is a good time as any to tell you guess, “ Because…I’m pregnant.”

Jyn laughs.

“No, you’re not.” She smiles. You say nothing but keep looking her in the eyes. The long you stare silently, the more her smile begins to fade as she realizes the truth.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes.”

Jyn drops her bag. Fortunately, the fruit does not spill out.

“How? You can’t be. You-you-“ Jyn stammers then gains the ability to speak. “Is it Commander Ren’s?”

“Yes.”

“What are you going to do?” Meia takes your hands.

“I’m keeping it, I mean them.”

“Them?” Her brows shoot up.

“I’m having twins…”

“Twins! Oh, Meia, how are we going to raise them? We know nothing of childrearing,” Jun begins to worry. You smile hearing that she-without hesitation-has already inserted herself into the helping of raising them.

“We will figure it out.”

“I guess we will have to. Does anyone else know?” Jyn asks picking up her dropped bag remembering it.

“Han,” You point to the man who is on his third tiny cup of free wine next to Chewie who is on his tenth.

“You told Han before me?” Jyn grows a little cross.

“He guessed so I confided in him,” You hope she won’t be too mad. Jyn huffs.

“Well…okay, I will forgive you then. But we should get you home then. You should get off your feet in your delicate condition,” Jyn starts to lead you away from the booth.

“I’m really fine, Jyn,” You laugh.

Jyn leads you, Han and Chewie to her house. You cannot stop yourself from falling in love with it. Jyn has put flowers in every room. The furniture is simple but it suits Jyn. Your hand strokes your stomach on your own as you consider how you may raise your children here.

“Sit here,” Jyn makes you sit on her couch. She next to you as Chewie and Han sit in chair opposite to you two. You can see Han’s eyes keep glancing to your stomach.

“How soon did you guys get here?” You ask them.

“We got here within a day from leaving Canto Bight,” Jyn looks to Han, “Han practically hyperspeeded it here the whole way.”

“We needed to get here fast,” Han defends his actions.

“Yes. But tell us of your trip. What happened?” Jyn grabs your hand curious.

“Well…” You begin to tell the group of the chase by the Knights of Ren. You share how you hid on Poe’s ship, how he agreed to take you to Naboo, and your close run in with the Knight of Ren again. While trying to speak of the capture by Asharr, you are compelled to share your past with the former bodyguard with Han and Chewie who have no context. You see Han’s eyes grow larger and larger when you speak of Kylo Ren and his actions for your sake and for your vengeance. You continue to speak of the last duel between you and Asharr that won you a pirate ship and crew.

“You fought her in hand to hand combat in your condition!” Jyn gasps horrified at the notion of a pregnant woman in a brawl. You look away.

“It was the only way to make sure Poe and I survived,” You justify your fighting.

“That was still careless,” Han is the one to scold you.

“I’m find though. The twins are fine. When I got to Takodana, I went straight to a doctor and she made sure everything was fine!” You try to turn off the anger.

Chewie is confused and speaks out to his friend.

“She’s pregnant, Chewie,” Han gives away the news. Chewie’s mouth drops rather comically.

“Then my crew took off with the ship leaving Poe and I on Takodana. Luckily, Maz helped us find a ship and we came straight here,” You give the more recent events.

“Maz?” Han picks up the name.

“You know her?”

“Yeah, she’s Chewie’s girlfriend,” Han chuckles. Chewie growls and rolls his eyes. You assume this is a joke.

“Where is this Poe guy?” Han asks after the pilot featured in the story.

“He had to contact some of his friends to let them know he is safe,” You answer, “He will be coming here tonight though.”

“I look forward to getting to know him better,” Jyn smiles.

“But tell me what you all have been up to here. I heard you got a new run,” You look to Han and Chewie. Chewie begins to speak. Han translates and reveals their new job to carry some legal goods to Hosnian Prime. Jyn shares he joyous news of arranging a meeting with the Naberrie family.

“And the Festival of Lights is tomorrow night. You couldn’t have come at a better time,” Jyn beams. Your heart skips hearing of the news. You’ve wanted to see the festival ever since Slip spoke of it. But staying so long will give Kylo enough time to arrive to Naboo. But you can’t bring yourself to crush Jyn’s joy. Surely, you can leave with Poe and Jyn tomorrow night and before Kylo comes. 

“Great.” You smile with her.

“I’m going to start cooking some food. Chewie, will you help me break the nuts?” Jyn looks to the Wookie. Chewie stands up nodding and goes with Jyn to the kitchen. You sit silently alone with Han. He stares at you. You lick your lips anxiously.

“Your doctor really told you that you and the twins are alright after your fight?” Han brings up the unborn.

“Yes. We are all fine. Thank you for your concern.”

“I know who the father is,” Han surprises you, “Jyn told me your master is Kylo Ren.”

You press your lips together before opening them.

“Yes. Kylo Ren was my master and is the father. But I don’t see why that is important to you,” You try to play it off. Surely, he doesn’t know that Kylo Ren is his son Ben.

“How well do you know your master’s past?” Han presses. You know he knows. He knows that Ben is Kylo Ren. You swallow but you still feel a lump in your throat.

“I know he is…your son.”

It is Han’s turn to swallow hard.

“How is…what is…is he…” Han struggles to find the right question to ask.

“Do you want to know what he is like now? So, you want to know if there is any ‘Ben’ left in him?” You guess the questions. Han leans back uncomfortable but nods. You take a breath.

“Kylo Ren is…a very passionate, intelligent, and determined person. He’s a good leader and thorough teacher. But he is also a temper tantrum throwing ass,” You laugh with you last comment earns an unsurprised ‘hmmm’ from Han. He must know if his son’s rage.

“He gets that from his mother,” Han mutters under his breath.

“But deep down he is still Ben,” Saying this you see Han’s eyes lighten. You can tell he wants to hear more of this but he doesn’t want to indicate it verbally.

“He is gentle and kind. He is very considerate to the people he cares about. Even though he would never admit it and he’d be furious if he knew I said this, I know he still holds love and affection for you and for his mother. I’ve seen it in his mind. I’ve felt it.”

Something rises in Han’s eyes. Is it hope? Hope that his son is not the monster all believe him to be.

“However, he will not return to being Ben Solo. As Ben Solo he was abandoned and betrayed by those he loved. He was left lonely and weak. As Kylo he thinks himself powerful and untouchable. No one can hurt him or make him weak because no one is allowed close enough,” You give a possible explanation to the change. Han absorbs the theory.

“But he has let you close enough,” Han points out.

“Not really. He has shared his past with me and his feelings as we are master and apprentice. We’re not supposed to have secrets from each other. But he still won’t let me all the way in. Despite me loving him, he cannot love me back. He said so himself.” You will not cry over it again you tell your body.

“He’s lying then,” Han sounds like Anakin.

“He’s not.”

“He is. A man doesn’t kill to avenge someone he does not love,” Han brings up the side story you mentioned about your time on Kessel. “I don’t condone it as a good way to show your feelings but it does give some proof.”

“But he said-”

“Men lie all the time about their feelings, kid. I know Ben did a lot as a child and I am sure that if he hasn’t outgrown his tantrums then he hasn’t outgrown lying about his true feelings,” Han makes you begin to reconsider things.

Does Kylo love you?

“I still can’t go back to him. I don’t want my children raised in the First Order,” You have to consider the children. Han nods his head in agreement.

“It is a pity he will not know his children but as a parent you must decide what is best for your child and hope you are right,” Han gives the lesson he has personally learned.

“You will come to know them though, right?”

A humbled grin comes on his face.

“I’d…I’d like that very much.”

“Then we must make sure to keep in contact. Okay, old man?”

“Okay. But don’t have them call me that,” He refers to the aging moniker.

“I can’t control what they say. If they call you ‘old man’ then they call you ‘old man’,” You shrug leaning back laughing.

“Here’s some food,” Jyn comes back with a tray of fruits and nuts. Chewie follows. You all sit together eating. You and Han exchange merry looks.

Even if they can’t know their father, they will know him through their grandfather. You decide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took fifteen chapters, but Y/N has finally reached Naboo. Haha sorry for the long ride. XD  
> Also, it may be a few days till my next update as I have made some time consuming commitments that will take me away from writing. But the story will continue!


	46. A Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience! Thank you all for the comments and over 700 kudos! Wow! You guys are great. :) Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 46

Poe and BB-8 make their way through the capital toward the address given to him. Having been to the planet before, Poe does not take in the sights with excited and hungry eyes. His focus is on reaching you at your “sister”’s house and hopefully getting you to go with him to the base on D’Qar to meet General Organa. The contacts he just spoke with are very excited to have a former First Order member willing to give them any information.

However, Poe knows he shouldn’t try to rush you into leaving Naboo too soon. You told him of your plans to help your “sister” and he doesn’t want to give up on that. The base will still be there even after you help Jyn.

Coming to the door of the townhome, Poe knocks firmly not sure how close the occupants are to the entry’s barrier. He and BB-8 wait a few moments before the large door slowly swings open. He smiles seeing Jyn.

“Oh, Mr. Dameron, please come in,” Jyn plays hostess and steps aside for him and the droid.

“Please, just call me Poe,” he steps inside. He quickly finds you on a couch laughing with a Wookie and a much older man. He recognizes the man from the casino. Poe had seen you go to him after you two briefly crossed paths.

You look over your shoulder and see Poe. You shoot up with a smile as you greet him with a “hello”. Han stands up while Chewie stays seated to rest his leg.

“I’m glad you made it. Poe, this is Han Solo and Chewbacca. Han, Chewie, this is Poe Dameron and BB-8,” You make introductions for the men.

“Han Solo and Chewbacca!” Poe is starstruck but steps forward to shake hands with both men. “It is an honor to meet the both of you. My mother and father told me so much about the two of you.”

“Your parents?” Han raises an eyebrow shaking the young pilot’s hand.

“Yes. My mother was Shara Bey and my father was Kes Dameron,” Poe gives away his parentage.

“You’re Shara’s boy? I remember seeing your hologram. You’ve sure grown up,” Han smiles and pats Poe’s shoulder. “You have your mother’s eyes.”

Poe grins taking the comparison as a compliment.

“Are you hungry, Poe? Feel free to eat,” You gesture to the plates on the table.

“Oh, thank you,” Poe takes a seat and begins to snack. Han sits back down.

“I need to go to the bathroom. Where is it?” You whisper to Jyn. She points out the way. You excuse yourself and make your way to the bathroom.

Once finished, you return to the living area. You sit on the couch with Jyn and Poe. Han and Chewie make little remarks that make Jyn and Poe smile and laugh. It is such a nice sight to see everyone getting along. Your eyes do start to focus on Poe. He speaks of something but you don’t really register it. You are bit too busy seeing how his dazzling eyes, charming smile, and voice just captures the attention of all in a positive way. Even Han looks intrigued by the younger pilot. You wonder if everyone would have acted like this if Ben were here as well.

You stop yourself. You cannot think of Kylo. He is not going to be in your life. And you know things wouldn’t be like this with him. Jyn would be afraid of him. Poe would probably be fighting him. You have no idea how he would act with his father and Chewie. It probably would not be good...But if he and his father could get pass their issues, Ben became a Resistance ally and Jyn could accept Ben for your sake then maybe…maybe things could be nice like this. Then maybe the children could know their father.

But how will Kylo change? He is so determined in his mission to find Skywalker and establish the First Order as the galactic government. He will not change his ways on his own.

“You need to go back to Ben.” You hear Anakin’s voice in your head. He was so adamant about you returning to Ben. He said you could lead him to the light. You don’t care so much about the light side of the Force. It is restrictive…so Kylo said in his lessons. But if turning to the light means turning from the First Order then turning to the light would be good. Anakin kept saying that you are the one who will turn his heart. Han says that Ben loves you. Could it be that he does love you and you can turn his heart from the First Order?

How could you turn him being apart from him though? As long as you two are apart, the less influence you will have over him. Should you really go back to him? You want to. You want to be with him. You just don’t want to be with the First Order. But you could try to suffer the First Order till you can convince Ben to leave. Just as long as you two leave before the children are born. It will let you two be together then maybe you should go with him when he comes to Naboo.

You move your eyes back to Poe. You told him you would go to the Resistance with him. You would meet Ben’s mother. You’d help the Resistance learn information on the First Order. Going with Kylo you leave Poe high and dry. But in the long run wouldn’t you be helping Poe by getting Ben to turn to the Resistance?

You look to Jyn now. She is in real trouble when Kylo gets here. Who knows what will happen to her. She is a traitor to the First Order. You must make sure that she is safe. If she goes with Poe she would be safe. But you know she wants to stay here on Naboo and live her new life. Perhaps, you could make a deal with Kylo, a deal that keeps Jyn unharmed and safe on Naboo. But will she hate you if you go back with Kylo even if it is to turn him?

Then you look to Han. Surely, Han would be supportive. He misses his son. You could see it in his eyes when you spoke of Ben. If you can have him turn then the father and son could be reunited and reconcile. Then the children can have both their father and grandfather together. You smile at the thought.

But none of that can be for sure. You could go to Kylo and be completely wrong. He could only seek you so he can kill you or to keep you as his sex slave. He could make you terminate the children or upon their birth put them into the trooper program. Going to him could only lead to more pain for you and your children.

Maybe you should just not go back to him. You can leave with Poe, work for the Resistance, and raise your children in the Resistance. Han can be in contact as their grandfather. Chewie can play uncle as he did for Ben in his childhood. Jyn can be their Aunt. Poe…well, you’re not sure about Poe. You have yet to tell him you’re pregnant. How would he react? Maybe you can keep it a secret from him just a bit longer. He doesn’t have to know yet…

Night comes as does fatigue upon the group. You offer the room Jyn had prepared for you to Poe and BB-8. Jyn is more than fine with you sharing a bed with her. You two used to do so when you were being trained as children. Han and Chewie plan to share the room like they have been for the past many nights.

Jyn is sure to grab something from the room meant for you before Poe goes to rest. In Jyn’s room she sets the bag she took onto the bed.

“I saved your stuff for you. I hung up your clothes int eh closet in the other room but in here are your comics and your crystals,” Jyn opens the bag so you can look inside it.

“Oh good!” You start to pull the items out. Holding the comics in your hand you remember your desire to read them. You open the box in the bottom of the bag and look at your crystals.

Two. Maybe these two will be the crystals for the twins when they come of age and learn the ways of the force. You hold the crystals close to your chest.

But who will teach them the ways of the Force? You? You don’t know so much about it. You will not seek out Skywalker as you don’t want such a man near your child. Ben said his mother can use the force but she is a General and would not have time for such things. Ben could teach them. You know he can be patient in his teaching as he had been patient with you. He wouldn’t be too aggressive with them either as he would know that they wouldn’t be strong at first against him like you weren’t.

You imagine Ben with a stick in his hand showing your son how to hold his own stick. He would show him the proper ways to attack and defend. You see them in the snow crossing sticks but neither would land a blow one the other. Ben would smile and smirk as your boy tries to strike his father. Ben might let the boy hit him just once so the boy can feel some victory.

“I bought some nightgowns,” Jyn interrupts your daydream. She stands at the open closet and pulls out two simple white gowns. She hands you one and quickly change into it. You enjoy the feel of the soft silk against your body. You fold up the clothes that Maz gave you and put it on the dresser in the room. You put your crystals, comics, accessories, and lightsaber there as well. Jyn gets into the bed. You got the empty side closest to the balcony. You lie down next to Jyn and cover up with the blanket.

You turn on your side and look at Jyn. She smiles and reaches out her hands toward you. You take them.

“I am so glad you’re here,” Jyn sigh contently.

“I am too.”

“I feel so much better now that you’re going to be with me to meet Robal’s family tomorrow. I am so nervous. I’m afraid they won’t give a damn about me since Robal and I were never actually married and we never had a child…” Jyn voices her concerns.

“I am sure that they will be happy to see you and know that their Robal is alive and found love,” You try to encourage her.

“I hope you are right.”

“I am.”

You two exchange smiles.

“Now, Meia, tell me what all happened with you and Poe when you two were alone,” Jyn changes the subject.

“What? Nothing!” Your cheeks burn and you let go of her hand.

“I see the way you two look at each other. Tell me. What happened?” Jyn insists.

“We are just friends, Jyn. Just friends,” You want it to be clear but Jyn purses her lips and narrows her eyes in disbelief.

“Tell me everything and I’ll determine it for myself.”

You sigh. You suppose you should tell her everything. You do. You even tell her of your force conversation with Kylo which led to your night being held and comforted by Poe who still does not know the truth of Kylo or your pregnancy. You did leave out today’s visit from Anakin as well as Kylo’s attained knowledge of your whereabouts.

“I see. And you still think of Poe just as a friend?” Jyn lays on her back taking in your information. She turns her head to keep looking at you.

“Yes. He is just friend.”

“You don’t feel anything for him other than friendship?”

“No. I mean, I think he is attractive but I…I still love Kylo,” You look away from Jyn. You hear her sigh disappointedly.

“But you want to go with Poe to the Resistance, right?”

“I don’t know.”

“What?”

“I don’t know.”

“What is keeping you back?”

“There’s lots of things…I mean abig one is you. I don’t want to make you go. I can tell life here suits you.” You look back and Jyn. She looks down and grabs your hand.

“Will you hate me if I don’t go with you?” Jyn whispers.

“I’ll never hate you, Jyn. If you want to stay here, that is perfectly fine with me,” You squeeze her hand to reassure her.

“Okay. With that settled, what else is holding you back from going?”

“Well, I’m pregnant. I’d be putting myself and the children at risk by going to the Resistance. I might even have to give birth at a random base,” You think about the scenario.

“I am sure the Resistance has fine health care and you should be free to come back here with the babies. You could probably come back before you ever even go into labor,” Jyn tries to settle the issue.

“You’re right…” You nod but you still have your doubts about going with Poe. Jyn can see it on your face.

“What is the real problem, Meia? What is that is keeping you from fully committing to go to the Resistance with Poe?”

You know what it is, who it is. You turn your face from Jyn.

“It’s Kylo…If I go with Poe I know I will never be with Kylo again…”

“You want to go back to him?” Jyn sits up in the bed.

“I can’t help it. I still love him. I want to be with him but I know that if I am, I’ll lose everything.” You keep your eyes lowered sadly. Jyn just looks at you. For her it is an easy choice.

“But there is still a chance that if I go back to Kylo, I can turn him from the First Order. He could join the Resistance and then we could all be happy,” You voice your hopeful thoughts but Jyn does not smile at the probability. She shakes her head.

“I don’t think he will ever change. If you go back to him, I fear-”Jyn pauses, “I fear that you will fall back under the First Order.”

“I won’t. I have a stronger will than that.”

“Do you? When it comes to him, you seem to flounder easily,” Jyn deals out the hard truth she had observed.

You feel offense but don’t lash out. You understand what she is saying. You have been weak for Kylo and bend to him easily. But you were planning to never returning him but things keep changing. You keep realizing and learning new things. You know for sure that you want to have a free galaxy as does the Resistance. You know for sure you want Jyn to be safe and happy. You know for sure that you want your children to grow up free and loved. You are just not sure how to make everything happen. Is this done by going with Poe and losing Kylo? Or is this done by choosing to try to save Ben?

“I have been swayed by him often. I know. But, Jyn, I just know what to do. Do I listen to my mind? Or do I listen to my heart?” You are so unsure.

“I say…go with Poe even if it does break your heart,” Jyn gives her choice. Though you know she is probably right, you feel so sad with her advice.

“I guess I will go with Poe then…” You concede.

“In time you will find it is the better the choice,” Jyn lies back down with you. You nod your head but turn onto your side with your back facing her.

“I know…”

If you are to go with Poe then, you will have to leave tomorrow before Kylo can arrive. If Kylo comes and you see him…you will not be able to resist him. You know it. You will have to tell Poe in the morning to be ready to leave. You two can leave after Jyn meets the Naberries. You will miss the Festival of Lights but what must be done must be done.

* * *

You wake with breasts aching and nausea filling you. You open your eyes and find that Jyn is still asleep. You get up from the bed and seek the bathroom in the upstairs hall. After some dry heaving you are able to vomit. There is some relief in it.

Leaving the bathroom, you find yourself too awake and rather hungry. You head down the stairs to the kitchen to see if there is anything to eat in the kitchen cupboards. Rummaging through it, you find some bread. For some reason, it looks to be the perfect snack.

A light comes on making you jump. You turn around and see Poe standing behind you in only his pants. Your eyes run over his bare chest without you intending them to. His mother’s ring hang on a long chain around his neck. You make your eyes return to his face. Since your eyes were busy you did not notice him looking over your body as well.

“What are you doing up?” You both ask simultaneously.

“I got hungry,” You hold up the loaf of bread in your hand. “What about you?”

“I heard something so I came to see what it was,” He answers. You realize he has a blaster in his hand. He puts the weapon down on the counter.

“It’s just me.”

“Yes. You feeling okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just hungry,” You don’t want to worry him. You return to cutting the bread into a slice. You look back to him. “You want some?”

“Sure,” He comes next to you. You cut him a slice as well. You put the bread back before handing him his slice. You two stand in the kitchen awkwardly munching on the bread. Your eyes struggle not go back to his body. You knew he was muscular because you could feel him through his shirt the previous night when he held you but you’re still surprised.

“Meia,” He ends the silence.

“Hm?”

“I don’t want to rush you especially since you just reunited with your ‘sister’ but I wanted to know if you still want to go with me to the Resistance,” Poe asks. You put the bread in your mouth and hold it between your lips. You know what you are to say but you still feel something that makes you hold back. You push it out though.

“I do want to go with you,” You watch him smile. He has such a nice smile.

“You do! That’s great!” He comes closer to you and take a hold of your arms. You feel obligated to smile back to him.

“I talked with Jyn and she will stay here while I go with you. She is very supportive,” You make sure to bring up Jyn’s choice to not go.

“I understand her choice. I am glad that we will get to go to together though,” Poe doesn’t move his hands from your arms or lose his smile.

“Yes, I will be glad to go as well. I think we should leave tomorrow night,” You give your new timeline and finish eating your piece of bread.

“Tomorrow night? That’s um-that’s very quick,” He blinks a few times.

“Yes, well, I want to get to the Resistance as soon as possible after Jyn meets the Naberries.”

“But don’t you want to stay for the Festival of Lights. Jyn mentioned that you’ve been wanting to go,” Poe brings up the festival.

“I do but I think it would be better for us to leave as soon as we can,” You turn your arms in his hold so you can put your hands on his own arms.

“But we can stay for the festival. We don’t have to rush,” Poe tries to make you feel as if you have time. You know you don’t. But how can you tell him that Kylo is coming? He’ll know that you have been on contact with him.

“It’s really fine, Poe. I can come to the festival at another time,” You assure him.

“If you say so, Captain,” He gives you your rank making you chuckle.

“I do.”

“I’ll make sure the Gilded Osprey is ready to go after Jyn’s visit. Then we will go to the Resistance base,” Poe promises. You lean in and hug him.

“Thank you, Poe. I look forward to this new adventure with you.”

You feel his arms tighten around him. It feels so…safe and secure. Though joining the Resistance is dangerous, being with Poe doesn’t feel dangerous. He’s the opposite. Jyn was right. Poe is the right choice.

You break the hug but his arms are still around you keeping you close to him. His face is close to yours. Your eyes flicker between his eyes and his lips. His eyes do the same. You feel a draw between your lips and his. You lean forward to give into it. Poe closes his eyes in preparation on contact. You close your eyes briefly but open them.

You gasp and step back. Poe’s face is no longer his but Kylo’s. You blink again.

“What’s wrong?” Poe is himself again.

“I’m sorry. I just got a pain in my side,” You lie and put your hand on your side.

“Did I hurt you?” Poe looks to your side.

“No. It’s gone now. It must have just been a cramp,” You keep up the lie. “I should probably just go lie down.”

“Uh, yes. You should,” Poe awkwardly steps away from you. You hurry away and go straight to Jyn’s room. You close the door quietly as not to disturb her. You walk out of the room on to the balcony. You inhale the night air realizing you haven’t been breathing in your quick journey up.

You feel yourself crying. You don’t understand it. Poe is a good guy. He’s kind, caring and makes you feel safe. Why did you see Kylo’s face? Why did that stop you? You are choosing a life without Kylo. That’s the right decision, isn’t it? You shouldn’t be upset. You shouldn’t feel guilty to be with Poe. Poe is the right path, right?

You look up to the sky. With the capital dark as all are to be asleep, you can see the stars. They are rather faint but still there. You take deep breathes and feel your breasts ache again but they don’t seem to hurt as much as your confused heart.

“Why can’t someone make it clear to me what the right choice is?” You ask out to no one specifically. No one answers. You’re surprised. You didn’t really expect an answer after all. You sigh and go back to bed. It is hard for you to go back to sleep with your mind still muddled and body aching. Sleep does come to you eventually.

* * *

When morning comes, you wake before Jyn. You are glad you have as you rush to the bathroom to vomit. Why must your children make you so sick? You wash your mouth and face. As you start to leave the bathroom, you see Han right outside of the door.

“Han,” You smile seeing the older man.

“I got you something,” he reached into his leather jacket’s pocket. He pulls out a sizeable box. He hands it to you. Opening it your eyes light up. There is a set of gold bracelets. There are tiny flowers engraved on them.

“These are beautiful but…why?” You don’t understand the gift. Han takes them out of the box. He pulls the hard gold circle apart showing how they open similarly to a shackle though these are the prettiest shackles you have ever seen. Inside you see a pearl in each one.

“These bracelets are supposed to help control your nausea. These pearls go on specific pressure points to help. Leia had to use something like this when she was pregnant with Ben. I thought that you’d might need them,” he explains. You feel your eyes water in happiness as he puts one on you.

“Thank you, Han!” You embrace the man before he can put the other one on you. He awkwardly stands in your hold before you let him go. Pink comes on his cheeks.

“It’s n-nothing,” He looks away from you.

“It’s not nothing. It’s so sweet! I love them.” You hug him again. He lets you hug him.

“Come on now. I need to put the other one on you,” He acts as if he does not enjoy the hug. You step back and hold out your other wrist.

“In this one, I have the code that will let you reach my personal transmitter,” He points to the etching of numbers on the inside of the bracelet near the pearl. You look carefully at the numbers.

“This way no matter where I am you can reach me if you need anything or when you go into labor,” he locks the bracelet on you. You look at them now that they are on your wrists. They look very elegant.

“I really love them, Han. Thank you,” You take his hands instead of hugging him.

Chewie comes out of the room. You greet him and Han translates Chewie’s greeting to you. You see that Chewie has all of his gear on. You realize that Han too is fully dressed and already has his belt and blaster on him.

“Are you two leaving already?” You ask realizing their preparedness.

“Yes. We need to get to Hosnian Prime as soon as possible,” Han nods.

“Let me get dressed and I will see you two off to your ship,” you try to stall them.

“We really need to go,” Han tries to reject you.

“No! I will be right back. Please, let me go with you to the bay,” You rush pass them. You get into Jyn’s room and quickly dress in the clothes you wore yesterday. You tied on your belt and put on Moxa’s necklace which you hide beneath your tunic. You put your lightsaber in the holster.

“Meia? Where are you going?” Jyn starts to wake.

“I am seeing Han and Chewie off. I will be right back,” You promise.

“Okay,” Jyn yawns and lies back down. You leave the room and go downstairs to see that Han and Chewie wait there. You all leave the townhome together.

Han and Chewie tell you more of the specifics of their mission as you all walk. Han gives their timeline as you reach the docking bay. They lower the ramp.

Chewie gives you a hug then boards the ship to prepare it. He says something but you don’t know what it is.

“What did he say?” You ask Han who stays with you.

“He says that he looks forward to seeing you when we come back in three weeks. 

“Three weeks? Oh…”

“Is something wrong?”

“I-I might not be here in three weeks,” You start to break the news to Han.

“Why not?” He stops.

“I am going with Poe to the Resistance. I can be of some use to them and I want to have my children to live in a free galaxy,” You feel the need to explain yourself. Han scratches his eyebrow. 

“I do want to see my grandkids, so be careful, kid.”

“I want you to too so you be careful, old man.” You retort playfully. He smirks.

Han lifts his left hand up to touch your right cheek. His touch is so similar to Ben’s. You lean into the touch fondly and raise your hands to hold his hand there for longer.

Wordlessly, Han removes his hand from your face. You two exchange smiles before he turns and gets on the ship. You stand aside and watch as the Eravanna takes off. You stay in your spot watching the ship fly away till you no longer see them.

You turn and begin to leave the docking area. A foul stench makes you stop. You look into the air and see a ship approaching the area. You recognize the Oubilette-class transport ship immediately. Your heart pounds. How did the Knight of Ren get here?

You flee the docking area. You must get away before you have a run in with the Kylo’s knights. You need to tell Jyn and Poe. You need to make sure you all avoid the knights.


	47. Naboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I love them! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 47

“Jyn! Poe!” You call for the other occupants of the house. Jyn and Poe nearly fall over each other as they race down the stairs. BB-8 rolls down the stairs cautiously.

“What is wrong?” Jyn pants.

“The knights of Ren. They’re here. They’re here,” You find yourself struggling to catch your breath.

“How do you know? Did they see you?” Poe questions.

“I saw their ship but they didn’t see me,” You shake your head but still find it hard to breathe.

“How would they know to come here for you?” Poe doesn’t understand. You figure Kylo told them. He probably wants them to find you and keep you till Kylo arrives. You cannot tell them that though.

“Meia, sit down. Did you run all the way here?” Jyn notices your struggle. She makes you sit in the nearest seat.

“Yes,” You nod.

“You shouldn’t have. You need to be more careful,” Jyn rubs your back. You finally breathe normally.

“I had to tell you two right away. You have to avoid them, Jyn. They know what you look like,” You look up to your friend.

“They do?”

“Yes, when they came to the casino on Canto Bight they had your image and mine. They will be looking for both us.”

Jyn frowns and sits next to you.

“They’ll kill me for sure. I am nothing but a traitor after all…” Jyn hangs her head. You take her hand.

“I won’t let them hurt you, Jyn. You said the Naberries are an important family here, right? If you go to them, you could hide with them. Surely the Knights of Ren would not think to find you with them. They’ll be looking for us in places for low lives and fugitives,” You concoct an idea.

“And what if the Naberrie family doesn’t take me in?” Jyn brings up the possibility.

“Then come with Poe and I to the Resistance,” You don’t even look to the pilot.

“You’d be more than welcome there,” Poe puts his hand on Jyn’s shoulder. She gives a half smile. You know she does not want to leave Naboo.

“We will seek the Naberries first. When is your appointment with them?” You ask.

“In an hour,” Jyn answers.

“Then we will all go to them. Once you are safe with them then Poe and I will leave. Right, Poe?” Now you look to Poe. He nods agreeing to the newer plan.

“But what about you? You need to be extra careful. You know that if they catch you then they will take you back to the First Order,” Jyn knows what will happen.

“I escaped the Knights before. I can do it again. Now, let’s get you ready for your meeting,” You stand up.

* * *

With the Night Buzzard landed, the Knights of Ren gather together. They have been traveling all night. They have a desire to sleep but their desire to fulfill the mission given to them to find the bitch that escaped them on Canto Bight is stronger. Kuruk wears your cut braid around his neck as a reminder of the failure.

“Kylo says to forget the other girl but we must retrieve his apprentice without harming her,” Vicrul gives the changes.

“Without harming her? How are we supposed to subdue her then?” Ushar balls his fists frustrated with the limit.

“We will have to work together to surround and subdue with long range weapons, I guess,” Vicrul tries to think of their options.

“Or we could drug her. I have some left from our visit to Kuat.” Ap’lek brings up an alternative.

“Hm…maybe.”

“How are we supposed to find her here? If we come in like we did on Canto Bight she will have enough notice to escape again,” Cardo brings up the past.

“I think some of us should stay here around the docking bay to make sure she does not try to escape in a ship. The rest of us can look for her in the capital. We know her alias is Meia Naberrie. We can keep an ear out for either name and go where we hear about it,” Vicrul comes up with the plan.

“I will stay in the bay,” Trudgen volunteers.

“Me too,” Kuruk also volunteers. 

“Then the rest of us will go into the city.” Vicrul decides.

“What do we do when we catch her?” Cardo asks.

“Kylo said to detain her here. He should be arriving here this evening,” Vicrul gives the further instruction and his timeline for the arrival of their leader.

“Kylo is coming?” Ushar is surprised. Vicrul nods.

“What is so important about this bitch that Kylo is making us hunt her and he himself is coming for her? Why doesn’t he just let us kill her on sight?” Trudgen’s annoyance is not lost on the others. The men of the group shrug not sure why Kylo is so interested in his runaway apprentice. Then Ap-lek speaks up.

“I bet he’s fucking her. I would be if I were her master.”

The knights groan in disgust at Ap-lek’s suggestion.

“Everything has to be sexual with you, doesn’t it, Ap-lek,” Ushar shakes his digusted.

“Why else would he be after her if not to fuck her at least once more then kill her for running away. That’s what I’d do!” Ap-lek keeps up his reason.

“Kylo has no interest in women. The boy’s a bigger virgin than Trudgen,” Cardo remarks and thumbs to Trudgen.

“Hey!” Trudgen is offended by the term.

“Don’t act like you’re not, Trudgen,” Ushar scoffs at Trudgen’s anger. Trudgen begins to claim otherwise but earns many remarks of disbelief from the other knights. Kuruk snorts amused at the fight starting.

“Stop it,” Cardo is the one to bring silence again. “We need to find this bitch and complete the mission.”

“You’re right. Let’s go,” Vicrul agrees.

* * *

Sola Naberrie stands on the balcony in her chambers overlooking the fountain in her backyard. She sighs remembering the times there she spent with her sister and her daughters Pooja and Ryoo. There have were so many wonderful times they all spent together there. Even after Padme died, Sola was able to find some happiness with her daughters in their home. Her joy increased when Ryoo had her son Robal. Her grandson was the light of her life then he was snatched away along with Ryoo. It has been over twenty years since her five-year-old grandson and oldest daughter were taken from her. She has not been able to speak since she learned of her daughter’s demise and her grandson’s kidnapping.

“Mother,” Pooja enters the room. Sola turns to look at her younger daughter. Pooja is no longer the curly, blonde girl she was when Padme was a live or when Pooja became the queen of Naboo like Padme. Now, her hair is gray and her rosy round face is pale and wrinkled. Sola finds her daughter even more beautiful for it as there is no greater joy than seeing her alive and well even in an older age.

“The woman who uses the Naberrie name has arrived to the house. She has brought two guests and droid with her. Do you want to see her?” Pooja comes to her mother’s side. Sola nods her head. She accepts Pooja’s arm to help her walk out of the room.

Sola and Pooja come to the living area of their stately home where they often receive guests. Pooja’s own daughter Ruwee sits in there with her golden curls hidden inside a magenta headdress that matches her elaborately embroidered magenta and gold gown. Ruwee’s daughter Ryoobi has her red curls tied into pigtail and wears an orange dress while her toddler brother Darred wears blue and silver robes. Pooja has Sola to sit in a large plush chair while she joins Ruwee on the couch.

L-3PO, the Naberrie’s silver plated protocol droid, waddles into the living room. Behind him are three strangers. One is a tall woman dressed in a simple green tunic dress. Her hair has been put into a simple plait. Her eyes give away her nervousness.

Next to her is a handsome man. He is dressed in pants, a yellow shirt and leather jacket. His blaster stays in the holster of his belt. A droid stays close to his leg. On the other side of the tall woman is another woman with short hair who wears a tunic and pant. Sola notices a lightsaber hooked to her belt. It has been many years since Sola saw such a weapon. In fact, she has not seen one since that Jedi Anakin Skywalker visited.

Sola’s heart sinks remembering the Jedi. She still can’t believe that her sister hid their marriage from her.

“I present Ms. Jyn, Ms. Meia, Mr. Poe Dameron and BB-8,” L-3PO gestures to the tall woman then the other woman then the man. Everyone stays silent. Pooja stands.

“Hello, I am Pooja Naberrie. This is my mother, Sola. This is my daughter Ruwee and my grandchildren, Ryoobi and Darred,” Pooja gestures to the proper people.

“Hello. Thank you for inviting me here,” Jyn speaks softly. She holds her hand in front of her to keep them from shaking. She has faced some of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy and yet these people make her quiver in fear.

“We felt that we should, given that you have been claiming to be a Naberrie. You did register to buy your home using our family name, didn’t you?” Ruwee holds a sour expression. She resembles her deceased father with her thin lips and cold eyes, or so Sola thinks.

“I-I did use the Naberrie surname. I have been using for some time…” Jyn looks down worried now that she has done wrong by doing so seeing this reaction from Ruwee.

“We both have,” You put your hand on Jyn’s shoulder as sign of solidarity and to share the blame.

“Why? Why would think you could use our name?” Ruwee is so cold. You dislike this attitude.

“Well, I-um…” Jyn lacks any confidence.

“Our family has produced two queens for Naboo and our family name has become synonymous with justice and honor throughout the galaxy. A stranger like you should not be using it. Your usage could seriously damage it,” Ruwee continues her scolding of Jyn.

“Ruwee,” Pooja calls her daughter’s name in hopes of squelching her daughter’s anger toward the strangers.

“I’m sorry. I have never intended to cause any damage to the Naberrie name, Jyn apologizes, “I only used it because…it the only surname I know and-”

“The only surname you know? How is that? Do you not have your own people? If not, who told you this name?” Ruwee cuts Jyn off again. You feel Jyn shake beneath your hand.

“We are former First Order troopers so we have no family name,” You speak up for Jyn. You see the horror come on the faces of the older women.

“You are all from the First Order?” Pooja cringes.

“We were but we have defected. Mr. Dameron has no association with the First Order,” You clear Poe of the relation to the hated association.

“But how would _you_ two know of our family?” Ruwee holds sneer. Jyn lifts her head. You feel her courage has returned to her.

“There is a trooper in the First Order. As a child he was taken from his family and put into the trooper program. His name is Robal. Robal Naberrie,” As soon as the name leaves Jyn’s mouth you see Pooja’s mouth drop and Sola’s eyes begin to water.

“Robal Naberrie?” Pooja repeats the name. “You met a Robal Naberrie?”

“Yes. He and I…were lovers. He told me of his memories of this place and his family. When I escaped from the Order, I took his name. I came here to find his family,” Jyn gives more of her purpose.

“Is he alive?” Pooja inquires.

“Yes. He is,” Jyn nods. Sola’s tears roll down her cheeks.

“All this time…he’s been alive…I-I can’t believe it,” Pooja cries tears of joy like her mother.

“How do we know she is telling the truth?” Ruwee is the cloud of negativity.

“Ruwee, why would she lie?”

“She could have just learned of our missing relative and made up this story. What proof do you have that you really know Robal?” Ruwee crosses her arms. You want to punch the woman who dares to question Jyn’s verity. Pooja does not speak against her daughter but feels the need to have proof as well.

“Well, Robal has a birthmark on his left buttock,” Jyn begins to blush referencing her lover’s body, “It look like an AT-AT.”

Pooja and Sola exchange looks. They smile.

“I remember the birthmark. You really did know him,” Pooja comes to Jyn. She takes Jyn’s hands into her own.

“I did. I loved and still love him,” Jyn is no longer afraid.

“Please, come and tell us about him,” Pooja draws Jyn to be with her. Jyn sits with Pooja on the couch but it put closer to Sola. The older women are very excited to hear of Robal.

“How do you know she isn’t lying?” Ruwee wants to ruin everything.

“Enough,” Sola hisses. The members of the Naberrie family gasp hearing the old woman speak.

“Mother, you-you spoke!” Pooja beams.

“She is telling the truth. So, either be quiet or leave,” Sola admonishes her granddaughter. Ruwee scowls again. She takes her children by their hands and leaves the room. Sola turns to Jyn and puts her stiff hands on Jyn’s hands.

“Now, Jyn, is it? Please, tell me of my grandson,” Sola encourages. You and Poe are silently encouraged by Pooja to come sit down as well.

Jyn begins to tell the older women of Robal. The more Jyn speaks the more the women glow. Jyn does not speak of the horrors of the First Order or of her reconditioning because of her and Robal’s love. She speaks of Robal kindness and courage. She speaks or the tender moments between them. She speaks of the sacrifices he would make for her. She speaks of the love. The more she speaks of love the more love is felt in the room.

You enjoy listening to Jyn and her experiences with Robal. She has never shared much of her relationship with Robal with you. You know it is because she had to keep it a secret, and after her reconditioning she had to still keep her harbored love a secret.

“I know that I never married Robal and we have no children so I should not use the Naberrie name. I’m sorry for overstepping,” Jyn brings up the issue.

“Though you two have not married and you are not blood to us, you are a Naberrie. You will stay with us and be my granddaughter,” Sola pats Jyn’s hands.

“Really?” Jyn struggled to breathe.

“Yes.”

Jyn embraces the older woman. You watch on pleased. You look to Poe who shares a pleased look as well.

“May my sister continue to use your name as well?” Jyn remembers you. The women look to you. They open their mouths but are not sure what to say. Accepting Jyn was one thing, but they don’t know you. You realize that…you aren’t meant for the Naberrie name. Your children aren’t either. Jyn is meant for that surname. You and your children…they will have a different one. You know what surname the children should have. It should be the surname of their father and their grandfather.

“As much as I would be honored to use your family’s name, I have found a new name and I believe I have consent from that family to use it,” You get rid of the concern from the older women. Jyn looks to be confused but respects your choice.

“You all should celebrate with us tonight at the festival. I want all to meet my new granddaughter,” Sola smiles. You look to Poe and he to you. You both know that you two cannot stay.

“I’d love that!” Jyn is elated.

“We would be honored to stay, but Meia and I must be leaving,” Poe speaks up for you and himself.

“Leave? Why?” Pooja looks over at the two of you.

“We are with the Resistance. We are to meet with General Organa,” Poe gives away his loyalty. He knows of Naboo’s long friendship with Leia.

“Leia? I have not seen my cousin in so long. How is she?” Pooja asks after the general.

Leia is Pooja’s cousin?

“She is well but she is expecting Meia and I.”

“I am sure if you tell her that you stayed for the night with us, she will be forgiving,” Pooja waves off the issue.

“Uh…” Poe looks to you. You look to Jyn. She looks at you hoping you will give into her new family’s request but you both know that your staying is dangerous. But you want to make Jyn happy.

“We could stay for some of the festival,” You turn to Poe.

“But what about the Knights?” Poe whispers.

“In the darkness they might not be able to find us easily,” You bring up the natural camouflage. Poe does not smile but nods.

“Wonderful! We must get you all dressed properly for the festival. You can’t show up in these rags,” Pooja gestures to the clothes you all wear. You suppose that in comparison to the lavish gowns worn by the Naboo people, your clothes are rags. You give in. Pooja takes you and Jyn away as L-3PO comes for Poe.

* * *

You quickly learn that the Naberries have rooms purely dedicated to clothes and rely heavily on the help of droids. Pooja is more taken with taking care of Jyn than you. You are not offended at all. Jyn deserves to spoiled and pampered. You easily give yourself over to the care of a droid called XL-3P0.

The care given to you reminds you of the care you received at Madam Jujol’s. This time however, you do not bath, or pick out your own dress. But you do get a meal that you share with Jyn.

You finish being prepared before Jyn. Alone before a large mirror in the clothing room, you look at yourself.

“Are you pleased, Madam?” XL-3P0 inquires.

Your underdress is a white silk satin while the outer layer is a white chiffon that shimmers with specks of gold and silver. It is backless but the front is gather at the front at the top. It is secured around your neck by a mother of pearl necklace. XL-3P0 layered Moxa’s pendant to go over the necklace that keeps your dress together. You have arms cuffs made from the shimmering chiffon material that flows down your arms and covers your wrists. You have kept Han’s bracelets on as they have greatly helped with your nausea. XL-3P0 has replaced your boots with white slippers. At your insistence, XL-3P0 did tie holster to your thigh to hold your lightsaber while keeping it hidden from view. XL-3P0 also gave you a garter with a pouch to hold the kyber crystals you brought with you. IT stays hidden and unnoticeable under dress as well.

XL-3P0 styled you short hair by putting a little braid in part of it while leaving the rest loose. A head band with a tiny silver and gold stars is put on top of your hair as well. XL-3P0 wanted to cake your face in white powder and paint your lips bright red but you persuaded her to keep your make up simple and natural.

Having looked over your reflection, you smile. You look and feel beautiful.

“I am very pleased, XL-3P0.”

“Mistress Pooja will be pleased then.”

“Have you worked for XL-3P0?” You ask.

“Seventy years I have served the Naberrie family,” XL-3P0 answers.

“I see. So, you know the family’s history then?” You are feeling curious.

“Yes.”

“Then how are the Naberries related to Leia Organa.”

“Mistress Sola’s sister the former Queen Amidala was the mother of Princess Leia Organa,” XL-3P0 is very upfront with the information.

“Queen Amidala?” You repeat the name.

“Yes, she died in childbirth though none knew this till Princess Leia came to Naboo years ago. She enlightened the Naberrie family to this,” XL-3P0 continues.

“I see.” You do recall when Kylo shared that his grandmother died in childbirth leaving Skywalker and his mother to separated.

“Who was the father?” You press curious to know If the family knows it was Anakin.

“A young Jedi called Anakin Skywalker, but he became Darth Vader as announced in the news a few years ago,” XL-3P0 knows the truth.

“Are they buried together then?” You really don’t know if they are not. All you know is that both are dead. You are not sure if their bodies were interned together or what.

“No. I know nothing of the man’s final resting place. But Queen Amidala is buried very close by in a mausoleum.”

An urge comes over you. You must see this grave.

“Could you take me to see it?”

“Nothing in my program says that I cannot.” There is no resistance. XL-3P0 leads you away from the room of clothing. As you walk with the droid you see Jyn being dressed by Sola and Pooja. She wears a green velvet dress that hugs her curves. She smiles brightly as do the women. You smile at the sight as well.

XL-3P0 takes you from the house onto the street. You keep your attention on where the droid goes and do your best to not draw attention to yourself. It is easy as everyone else has dressed even more elaborately than yourself in preparation for the festival.

It is not too long of a walk but the further you go the less crowded it is. You cross a stone bridge over a gorgeous sparkling lake to a small round building.

“Here is it,” XL-3P0 stop at the entrance. You start to go inside but the droid puts her arm out to block you.

“It is recommended not to go inside.”

“I won’t be long,” You push the droid’s arm away.

You enter the little building. You are in awe seeing the stain glass windows depicting a beautiful brunette queen. There are large stands with vases of roses on top of them. In the center of the building is a stone casket with filigree on it. You come close to the stone. Your twitches as you hold it above the stone. You lower your hand. A gasp leaves your lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you all can't wait for Kylo and Y/N to reunite. It is coming. I promise!


	48. The Right Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

#  Chapter 48

You find yourself in large room full of long windows that shed light onto a circle of numerous chairs. They all sit fine dressed persons of varying species. However, in a rounded top throne sits a girl. Her what is covered in white powder. She has a red dot on either cheek. Her upper lip is painted red while her lower lip has a single stripe of red going down the middle of it. Her dark brown hair is styled up into a semi-circle above her head. Her dress is large and red with brown fur lining different parts. She has a gold and red headdress on her head. She is very beautiful though you don’t exactly like the ensemble. You figure she is Queen Amidala as she resembles the woman in the stain glass images.

Her voice is cold and firm as she speaks to those gathered about her. She keeps her head held high despite the tremendous weight of her hair and headdress. She is absolutely queenly though you can tell she can’t be more than fourteen or fifteen.

There is a hologram in front of the queen speaking. You walk around to see who speaks. It is an older man. His blonde hair has puffs of white in it. His eyes are light blue even in the hologram. It makes you feel so uneasy. There is a horrid familiarity about them.

The hologram disappears as does this throne room and the people. Unlike with the jerking in the visions given with the lightsaber, in this vision the change feels like you are passing through a gentle breeze. The queen is now alone. A young maiden comes to her. They share similar features.

“Padme, what shall we do?” The handmaiden asks the queen.

Padme? You are surprised by the name. Is it her real first name?

“We will do what we must, Sabe,” the queen answers, her voice softer and warmer.

Another breeze comes. You find yourself in a small building. It is filed with droid parts. The heat is barely tolerable. You see a young woman with long brown hair going down her back. She wears a black skirt and boots, a long-sleeved blue undershirt and a outer gray layer atop the shirt. She had no makeup on her ace. You can tell it is Queen Amidala. She holds a curious look. You can see her eyes clearly now.

Ben. You think. Her eyes are exactly like Ben’s. Your heart grows tender at the sight. This is where Ben has gotten his mesmerizing eyes.

“Are you an angel?” You hear a nasal voice. You and Queen Amidala turn to see a young blonde boy in dirty clothes sitting on a work table as he fidgets with some droid parts.

“What?” the Queen’s voice is soft and she holds gentle smile.

“An angel. I hear the deep space pirates talk about them. They’re the most beautiful creatures in the universe,” The boy states confidently.

You and Amidala grin at the remark. He thinks Amidala the most beautiful creature in the universe. Amidala comes closer to him.

“They live on the moons of Iego, I think…” The boy falters a bit with the information.

“You’re a funny little boy. How do you know so much?”

“I listen to all the traders and star pilots who come through here. I’m a pilot, you know. And someday I’m going to fly away from this place,” He declares in a matter-of-fact way.

“You’re a pilot?” Amidala asks not letting her doubt of his role slip into her tone.

“Mhm. All my life.”

“How long have you been here?”

“Since I was very little. Three, I think,” He is unsure of the details but continues knowledgably. “My mom and I were sold to Gardulla the Hutt but she lost us betting on pod races.”

“You’re a slave?”

The boy turns red at the query.

“I’m a person and my name is Anakin!” He grows defensive.

Anakin? This is Anakin? He looks so much different here as a child. You think.

“I’m sorry…”

The wind comes and you watch as if the world were ten times faster. You see young Anakin and Padme, as she has him call her, as they spend time together on the planet you realize is Tatooine. In a ship alone together, he gives her a carved japor root necklace. You watch as the two separate as Anakin goes with a handsome young man and Padme continues her duties as a queen.

You feel the loneliness Padme feels in the years as she continues in her queenship and then as she become a senator. She is often surrounded by her family and her friends. She does so much of her planet. Her actions are selfless and out of love for her people. But loneliness is still heavy on her.

Things slow down again as you stand in a blue room with gigantic windows that look out to the capital on Coruscant. Padme with her hair style up in a golden care headdress and a dark dress on her body turns as she hears the announcement of Obi-Wan Kenobi from a Gungan in the room. She smiles and approaches the man you can tell is a Jedi by his lightsaber and robes. She looks beyond Obi-Wan to the tall blond young man in brown robes. You know it is Anakin but again he is so young. His hair is cropped as well except for a small but long braid of hair. His light eyes focus solely on Padme. You feel the joy in the former queen.

“Ani? My goodness you’ve grown,” She is sure to note verbally. He steps forward.

“So have you. More beautiful I mean,” he compliments her. You see her begin to blush but says nothing.

“Well, for a senator, I mean,” Anakin adds awkwardly. Padme stills smiles.

“Ani, you’ll always be that little by I met on Tatooine,” Padme says as he has not changed much since he was a child.

As they all go to sit and speak of how endangered Padme is as a senator, her eyes often go to Anakin who stares at her ardently.

“We will find who is trying to kill you, Padme. I promise you,” Anakin vows. His master scolds him for the promise. The men argue but Padme knows Anakin only means well.

Things speed once more. You see that Padme is nearly killed by assassins but is saved by Anakin. He takes her to Naboo. You watch as Padme introduced him to her planet and her family. Sola is there with a young Pooja and the girl you guess is Robal’s mother. You feel the fondness and attraction grow in Padme for Anakin. Her loneliness begins to fade. It is replaced with something stronger. But you see the young woman struggles as she knows it is not her place to love a Jedi. It is forbidden in fact. You hear them say so. Yet they share a kiss.

Anakin confronts her about his feelings but she rejects him. You feel her pain as she does but it is what is right. But is nothing compared to the pain Padme feels when they go to Tatooine and Anakin brings back the body of his dead mother. As she gives him comfort, you know that she knows that she loves Anakin.

You see them kiss then fight with Obi-Wan Kenobi on Geonosis. You see their return to Coruscant though Anakin now has lost and arm.

You smile as you find yourself back on Naboo. You see Padme dressed in white with a veil on her head. Anakin is there and takes her hands in his. A man is there and reads from a book. The lovers promise themselves to each other till death parts them.

Time keeps flowing in front of your eyes. You watch as they remain secretly married over years and years. You see that they do fight but they always forgive and forget. They cling to each other in the hard times even when they are on opposite sides of the galaxy.

Time slows once more as the Anakin you see in your visits runs to a waiting Padme among many pillars. She had feared his death but is overjoyed to see him. They embrace and speaks in whispers. He wants all to know of their marriage but she fears what will happen to him.

“Are you alright? You’re trembling. What’s wrong?” Anakin stares intently into her eyes. She starts to smile. She is nervous but happy.

“Something wonderful has happened. Ani, I’m pregnant,” She gives the news.

“That’s,” He starts to smile but it falters. They both know that the pregnancy will reveal their marriage and can harm him. But he still happy.

“That’s wonderful,” He gives over to the smile.

“What are we going to do?” Padme is still concerned.

“We’re not going to worry about anything right now,” his smile just grows. “Alright? This is a happy moment.”

She feels herself losing her fear as his hand goes to cup the base of her skull.

“Happiest moment of my life,” Anakin kisses his wife. Their love is so pure in this moment.

You look away and down from the lovers. Your mind goes to your own. Will he be happy to know of your pregnancy?

Once more time speeds. You can barely keep up as Padme grows more pregnant. You see Anakin has nightmares of her dying in childbirth but she keeps reassuring him that it will not happen. Though she is so happy to be preparing for her child, you see her struggle with the fear in the Senate as it leans toward becoming an Empire and as Anakin becomes more distant. She finds comfort in Obi-Wan Kenobi as well as her friend the Senator Bail Organa. But all comfort is lost as Obi-Wan comes and tells her that Anakin has killed younglings during the attack on the Jedi Temple.

Disbelief and agony as Padme’s core feelings now. She flies to a lava spewing planet. There she finds Anakin. She runs to him longing for his loving embrace. She has to see that he is not the monster who has turned on the Jedi and slaughtered younglings. She has to see that he is still her Ani.

“What are you doing out here?” He rubs her arms.

“I was so worried about you. Obi-Wan told me terrible things,” She is breathless.

“What things?”

“He said you turned to the dark side. That you killed younglings.”

“Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.”

“He care about us,” Padme tries to make Anakin see that their friend cares.

“Us?”

“He knows,” She refers to the pregnancy. “He wants to help you.”

Anakin shakes his head.

“Anakin, all I want is your love,” Padme speaks in earnest.

“Love won’t save you, Padme. Only my new powers can do that,” Anakin tries to make her see. She cannot see. She feels this is wrong. His turning to the dark side is wrong.

“But at what cost? You’re a good person. Don’t do this.”

“I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother. I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I’m doing it for you, to protect you,” Anakin claims. Padme runs her hand through his hair and hold his face.

“Come away with me. Help me raise our child. Leave everything else behind while we still can,” Padme pleads.

“Don’t you see? We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the republic. I am more powerful than the Chancellor. I-I can overthrow him!” Anakin’s words and new ambition cause Padme’s heart to begin to break. This is not her Anakin. Anakin was a boy loved her and who did things because they were right he did not because he wanted something in return. This man is not her Anakin.

“And together you and I can rule the galaxy. Make things the way we want them to be.” He smiles. Padme backs away from this stranger.

“I don’t believe what I’m hearing. Obi-Wan was right. You’ve changed.”

Anakin loses his smile.

“I don’t want to hear anymore of Obi-Wan. The Jedi turned against me. Don’t you turn against me,” He gross angry with Padme. Never has he looked at her with such malice. He is not her Anakin. She starts to cry.

“I don’t know you anymore. Anakin…you’re breaking my heart,” You feel the agony in her. “You’re going down a path I can’t follow.”

“Because of Obi-Wan?” Anakin fails to see it has nothing to do with Obi-Wan.

“It’s because of what you’ve done. What you plan to do. Stop. Stop! Come back! I love you,” She gives one more attempt to sway him. His eyes go beyond Padme. You see Obi-Wan is on the ship but Padme doesn’t know.

“Liar!” Anakin yells. Padme looks back and now sees Obi-Wan. She knows what Anakin is thinking. He is wrong.

“No!”

“You’re with him! You brough him here to kill me!” Anakin paces.

“No!” Padme cries but he hands fly up to her throat. Anakin is the one making her. You can barely stand Padme’s anguish and heartbreak as the man she loved who swore to protect and love her chokes her.

“Anakin,” She tries to say his name. Obi-Wan comes and orders Anakin to stop. He does but it is too late. Padme falls to the ground.

You run toward her but as you reach her, she is gone and you are in a medical room. Padme is barely alive but on a bed. She cries as she gives birth. Obi-Wan is at her side. There is comfort in him being there yet she is still in pain from her broken heart. Something is wrong though. You feel something ominous. You feel her life essence slowly being sucked away.

“It is a boy,” A droid present Padme with a babe.

“Luke,” She breathes the name. Another babe is presented. It is declared to be a girl.

“Leia,” Padme gives the second name.

Padme barely looks at the children. Instead, she looks to Obi-Wan. Her essence is nearly gone. Everything around you grows dark and hazy. She pants struggling to have enough air for her finally words.

“There’s good in him. I know. I know there’s…still-”

Gasping, you find yourself once more in the tomb. You move your hand away from the queen’s stone casket. You wipe the wetness from your cheeks. How tragic the poor woman’s life was. You look away from the casket.

“Anakin,” You should be startled seeing the force ghost but you are not. His eyes are on the casket and not on you.

“Padme…She was the best woman I have ever known. I didn’t deserve her yet she…she loved me even at the end,” he comes to stone and puts his hand on it.

“I was a scared, vain fool. I allowed myself to be overcome with fear. I let my fear and arrogance enslave me and turn my mind and my heart to darkness. I lost everything because of it.”

You listen to him not wanting to interrupt. Anakin lifts his eyes to you now.

“My grandson thinks I turned to the dark side for power and control over the galaxy. None it ever satisfied me or gave me even an ounce of joy that being loved by Padme did. None of it brought me comfort the way my master Obi-Wan did. None of it was worth losing my chance to be a father to my daughter and son. Ben, needs to know that the path he is on is not one that will give him any joy, love or comfort. It will only bring him pain, disappointment and regret.”

“So, I should go back to him?”

“Please. Please, help him,” Anakin’s eyes are so desperate. You swallow.

“I will,” You make the choice. Anakin smiles then as quickly as he appeared, he disappears. You leave the tomb and find XL-3P0 still outside waiting for you. The sun has moved substantially since you last saw it. You know your vision must have taken longer than you thought.

“Come, Ms. Meia! You have been in there so long! I know other will be worried about you!” XL-3P0 chirps out her concern.

“Take me back then.”

You follow XL-3P0 through the city. Your mind is on Ben. You must go to him. You will have to make Poe leave you behind. You feel some guilt for saying you will go with him then change your mind. But Ben is more important. You must find away to have Poe escape though and for Jyn to stay unharmed.

You return to the Naberrie home through a back entrance. As you and XL-3P0 approach the receiving living area where you first met the Naberries, something tells you to stop. You make the droid stop as well.

“What is it, Ms. Meia?” The droid asks.

“Just be quiet for a moment,” You tell the droid but creep closer to the door that separates you from the room. You hear voice. You crack the door just enough to look into the room. You cover your mouth seeing some of the Knights of Ren are in the room standing before Pooja, Sola, Jyn, and Ruwee. You fear for Jyn. Are they also looking for her? But you see that in her heavy makeup she is almost unrecognizable. Thank goodness for heavy makeup.

“I am Vicrul of the Knights of Ren. We are looking for this fugitive, Meia Naberrie. We understand that this the Naberrie home and she may be here,” The silver-plated face one hold out your hologram to her.

“There is no such person here. We have no Meia Naberrie in our family. Please, leave,” Pooja speaks with a strong air of authority. This Vicrul puts the projector away.

“We will not leave until we have searched this house for her,” Vicrul states. Ruwee huff disgusted and steps forward toward the masked man.

“How dare you! Do you know who we are? We are the Naberrie family!” Ruwee’s familial pride fuels her anger. “We have provided Naboo with two queens. We are-”

Vicrul silence the woman and sends her to the ground with a backhanded slap. Pooja rushes to her daughter’s side.

“I don’t give a fuck who you or your family are. We are searching this house.”

You see the knights begin to walk. Toward the different entries. You back up. You must get away. If they find you in this house who knows what they will do to the Naberrie family.

You start to backtrack from the way you came. You almost make it out of the back door when you feel someone grab your arm. You spin with fist cocked ready to punch your grabber. You stop seeing Poe. They have made him change into a white, high collar shirt with a black silk suit jacket over it. He has a black cummerbund and black pants. His hair has been styled to smooth away any rogue hairs. His beard has stayed nicely trimmed. He looks so handsome but you don’t have time to admire his looks. BB-8 is also by Poe’s side.

“Oh, Poe! It’s you,” You lower you fist. His brow puckers.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“The Knights of Ren are here. They’re searching the house for me,” You quickly give the details.

“Then we must get away now!” Poe opens the door you were heading for. You two and BB-8 leave the house. As you to walk into the side walkway you look back to the house. Something in your gut makes you stop.

If you go, you will keep running. You will be running away from these Knights and Kylo. You’ll be running away from Ben. You told Anakin you would go back to Ben. If you run Jyn is not guaranteed safety. The kngihts might kill her and the Naberries out of frustration for not finding you. Poe will also be in danger as well as if they torture the women first they could mention Poe. Kylo also knows about Poe. You don’t know how but he keeps mentioning that you are with a pilot. If you go there is so much danger for everyone else. If you give yourself over to the knights they will give you to Kylo. You will be able to be with Ben. You can try to sway him. You can try to have him see the negativity of the path he is on.

You pull yourself out of Poe’s hold.

“What are you doing? We have to go.” Poe tries to grab you again. You avoid his touch.

“Poe, I have to go back,” You look to the house.

“What? No. That’s crazy. They’ll take you.”

“I know. But I must go. You, Jyn, the Naberries…you all will be hurt if I don’t,” you try to explain. Poe grabs your shoulders.

“ _You_ will be if we don’t go.” The care in his eyes is intense.

“I will be fine. As long as I know you all are safe, I will be fine. Take my ship and go to the Resistance and tell them what I’ve already told you.”

“I won’t let you go. I’m taking you with me.” His hold tightens. You are able to lift your hand a bit.

“You will let me go.” You wave.

“No.”

“You will let me go.”

“No!”

“ _You will let me go_.”

Poe releases you.

“I…will let you go,” The words come out so pitifully. You kiss his cheek.

“Thank you for being such a good friend to me,” You turn away and leave him behind to return to the house.

You walk through the main entrance of the home calm. It is strange but you don’t feel any fear. You know this is what is right. You enter the room where the women are. Pooja sits with her daughter who’s face swells. Sola holds onto Jyn’s hands.

“Meia!” Jyn exclaims seeing you. She rushes to you.

“You must leave. Go now!” Jyn tries to push you out.

“No. I am going with them,” You tell Jyn.

“What? No! They will kill you or give you back to the First Order,” Jyn tells you what you already know.

“I know but this is what I must do.”

“But-”

“I must do this, Jyn.”

“But-”

“I am so glad that you have been my sister.”

“There you are!” Vicrul and the rest of the knights come back into the room. You push Jyn behind you. The men prepare their weapons.

“Come with us or we’ll-” Vicrul starts.

“Okay,” You walk toward him.

“Huh?” You hear the confused sound from the knights.

“Take me. I’m ready,” You talk to them as if you have been the one waiting for them to get you.

“Cuff her, Ushar,” Vicrul turns to the knight with a smashed in helmet. He comes and places heavy shackles on your wrists. Above your bracelets. You feel Ushar and Vicrul grab your upper arms firmly and begin to walk you out of the room. The other knights follow.

“Meia!” Jyn calls out to you. You look back at her and smile.

“It’s okay,” You mouth then you are taken away.

* * *

Though the ship is not running, the Night Buzzard stinks. You want to vomit smelling the putrid air as you are brought before it. At no point have the knights released your arms as they brought you despite your request for them to do so. They practically lift and carry you by your upper arms when stumble walking onto the ramp to enter the ship. The knight with blinders come out with your braid around his neck. You hear Vicrul call him Kuruk. Another with the remnants of a Death trooper’s helmet forged with his helmet comes out as well. You hear him be called Trudgen. You are surrounded by the knights as they take you to an empty room. You hook your cuffs to a hook that hangs from the ceiling. You look at each one as they seemingly look at you.

“I don’t see why this is necessary. I came with you willingly. I have no plans to leave till Kylo comes. Couldn’t you just let me sit in a chair,” You are tired. Sitting would be preferable.

“Search her from weapons,” Vicrul points to you. The one with a crudely patched helmet and raised teeth on his gauntlets steps up before anyone else could. His thickly gloved hand begins to pat your sides. He shamelessly begins to grope your breasts. You try to pull away.

“Stop that!” You hiss.

“Ap-Lek!” Vicrul calls the name of the knight and looks back at Vicrul. He sighs and moves his hands from your breasts. He does grab your pendant.

“This is a rarity. I’ll take it off your hands,” He breaks it off you and puts it in his pocket. He continues to go lower. His hands slide and squeeze your ass. He brings them to the front and presses on your pelvis. He starts to touch your womanhood but he keeps his hands moving down to your thighs.

“I feel something,” He lifts your dress up. Your cheeks burn as he exposes your lower half to the men.

“How pretty,” Ap-Lek remarks. You know he is referring to you sacred area. But he pulls down your garter and the small holster for your lightsaber. He drops your dress and stands up with your hidden items. Ap-lek brings them over to Vircul.

“A lightsaber? And what are these?” Vicrul opens the pouch. He pours out the kyber crystals. 

“They are kyber crystals,” You answer.

“I can take those off your hands,” Ap-Lek offers.

“No, Kylo will decide what to do with them and her. He will also decide what to do with this,” Vicrul pulls the pendant out of Ap-Lek’s pocket. A displeased noise come from behind Ap-lek’s mask.

“You’ve taken my weapon. Can I sit down now?” Your legs are only growing more tired.

“Get her a chair, Cardo,” Vicrul speaks to the one with the simplest helmet. He leaves the room and come back with a small chair. He unhooks you and let you sit.

“Thank you,” You do not forget your manners. “Now, please, contact Kylo and tell him that I am waiting for him.”

The knights look around to each other. Did this woman who has been on the run seriously just tell them to tell Kylo that _she_ is _waiting_ for _him_?

“Let’s go. Trudgen you stay here and watch her,” Vicrul begins to leave the room. The others follow except for Trudgen. You sit silently looking at the knight. You can only assume that he is looking at you too but with his mask on you can’t tell as you cannot see any part of his face. You close your eyes. You need some rest. Your body aches and is so drained. You drift off to sleep for a brief time.

You open your eyes as you hear the door scrape open. You sit you head up right but see that it is Vicrul who has come to the room. You stand up.

“He is here,” Vicrul informs you. Your heart pounds. You can sense him now. You start to fiddle with yourself. You hope you do not look any less beautiful than you did when you first left the Naberrie house. Will Ben think you beautiful? Or on sight will he be so furious that he force chokes you as his grandfather did to his grandmother? No. Ben won’t do that. You know this. He was no angry when you were connected by the Force. Surely, he will not be too made with you. But you cannot be sure that he will be too happy either. You did leave him. But you did so in hopes of wining his love and respect. Will he forgive you?

You keep your eyes on the door. You cannot control your racing heart. Your skin prickles in your mix of excitement and anxiety. Your mouth becomes dry. Your breath grows shallow in the anticipation.

Tall, confident and foreboding Kylo Ren, commander of the First Order, leader of the Knights of Ren, the Jedi Killer, and heir to Darth Vader, enters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's here! :)


	49. Terms of Surrender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the kudos and comments. I love the feedback! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 49

Masked and covered in a cowl, the master of the knights steps into the holding cell. His knights stand with him curious as to what their leader will do to the woman he made them search the galaxy for. Will he run her through with his lightsaber? Beat her to a pulp with his fists? Strangle her with the force? Ap-Lek personally fantasizes about their master raping the girl and allowing each knight to take a turn as well.

You don’t speak or smile. You stay completely stoic. You do allow yourself to look directly as Kylo’s covered face.

“Leave us,” Kylo gives the order. The knights leave the room and the door shut with a loud scrape. You press your lips together unsure of what your former master will do to you now. You want to run to him, hold him and be held by him. Your body yearns for his touch. Your eyes are hungry for the sight of his.

“Have you been harmed in anyway by the Knights?” He asks keeping a distance between the two of you.

“No. One did grope me and lifted my dress to show the others but otherwise, I am not harmed,” You answer. You see Kylo’s hands turn into fists.

“Who groped you?” You can sense his anger. You restrain yourself from smiling.

“’Ap-Lek’ I believe was the name,” You have no reason not to tell him. Kylo turns around and leaves the room.

You want to call for him but you don’t. You hope he returns. You sit down in the chair again and wait.

Scccrrrrrrraape. The door opens. Kylo enters again. You stand up at the sight of him. Kylo steps closer to you. He dwarfs you causing you to have to look up at him. He waves his hand over you cuffs which causes them to fall from you. You rub your new free limbs.

“Thank you,” You look up from your wrists.

Kylo pulls off his gloves and drops them to the floor. He removes his helmet and lets it fall as well. You shudder at the sight of his face. You notice his face is perfectly shaved. His hair is styled to be as perfectly as it can be. It is like waves around him just like the first time you took off his helmet. His scent of leather and embers is there but not as strong as the cedar smell you know is from his soap. His eyes are solely on you. You see the resemblance between his eyes and his grandmother’s. Though he wants to be his grandfather, you see so much of his grandmother in him. You hope he is as forgiving as she.

His hands come to you face and cups your cheeks. You feel your nerves calming at his gentle touch. He says nothing and makes not other moves. You decide to speak.

“Ben, I-”

“I know,” He interrupts.

“You know? Know what?” You are lost.

“I know about the child,” He nods to your stomach. Your hands go to your abdomen protectively.

“How?”

“Dr. Ryza told me and I sense a force in you that is not your own,” He answers. You swallow hard and step back from him. You did not know that Dr. Ryza knew. She never told you.

“I’m not going to terminate if that is what you want me to do,” You clutch the area you believe you children grow. Kylo gains an almost appalled expression.

“I have no desire for you to terminate the child.”

“You don’t?” Your hands relax.

“No.”

“Good…”

“I would have preferred that you would have told me yourself when you found out instead of running away.” He brings up your past ‘misdeed’.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant till I reached Canto Bight. Did you think I ran away because I was pregnant?” You raise an eyebrow.

“You didn’t know? I thought…I thought you left because I could love you and you thought I wouldn’t be able to love the child,” He answers honestly.

“No. I only left because I thought you’d never love me until I gained power. Then when I learned I was pregnant I thought I needed even more power so that you would see that you could love me and would accept the children.”

“Children?” He picks up on the last word.

“I’m having twins.”

He remains absolutely still and stoic at the new information.

“I know now that nothing I can do will make you love me but I hope that you can love our children,” You look down to your hand that are still on your abdomen.

“My actions have failed to show you my feelings…” Kylo mumbles.

“What?” You did not hear him clearly.

“We will return to Starkiller Base now. I will see that no harm comes to you or the children,” Kylo holds out his hand to you. You start to take it but you stop. He does not understand your hesitation. You have to remember the ones you want to protect besides yourself.

“We have to speak before I go with you.”

“About?” Kylo lowers his hand.

“I have some…conditions for my return.”

“ _You_ have conditions?” He scoffs.

“Yes. I will go back with you but there are some things that you must promise me so I will have no regrets going.”

“You want to negotiate the terms of your surrender,” Kylo brings up the military comparison.

“I suppose I do.”

Kylo presses his lips frustration with your delay. He simply wants to take you back with him. Why must you be so difficult? He passes you and sits in the chair where you sat. You turn to face him. You feel as if you have to give him a presentation.

“What do you want?” He crosses his arms.

“Well, I-I want to know that no harm with come to the children. And I do not want them to be raised to be First Order Troopers or forced into the military training in the First Order. I want them to be free to choose their own paths. I know I was forced into mine and you weren’t exactly free to make your own decisions either as a child,” You do not fail to point out Ben’s past as well.

Kylo is surprised by your first terms. He too wants safety for his children and for his children to be free to make their own decisions. He completely agrees with that. But he must add some specifics to it.

“I will see that they protected and that they will be free to choose their own ways. But this means that I will be their father and you will not take them from me.”

“I do not want to take them from you. But you must not take them from me. We must raise them together as mother and father,” You will not be denied your roll to your children.

Kylo nods in agreement.

“Is that all then?” He makes a move to get up.

“No.”

He stays seated.

“No?”

“I don’t anyone to look for FN-1226. I want her marks retired on the First Order roster.” You cannot forget your friend.

“She betrayed the First Order by leaving.”

“I made her. She was not sure if she should would leave but I made her go with me,” You defend your friend’s actions. “I won’t see her punished because of me.”

Kylo considers your term. He does not like the idea of sparing a traitor to the First Order although you have become one technically and he is going to spare you.

“I also want FN-0878 to be retired and free to leave the First Order,” You add Robal to the mix. With him free he can go home to his family and to Jyn.

“You want two troopers retired!” Kylo stands displeased with the conditions.

“Yes. Did you know that FN-0878 is your own cousin, Kylo? He is a Naberrie,” You bring up his blood relation. The relation is news to Kylo but even so. FN-0878 is just another trooper just as his own mother is just another member of the Resistance.

“You ask for too much. I could concede in giving up the search for FN-1226 but to retire FN-0606 as well is…”

“What do you want in return for them?” You cannot give up the issue. Kylo runs his eyes over you and presses his lips again. His chin wiggles as he thinks. He gains a lusty look his eyes and a smirk.

“Anal.”

“What?”

“Anal,” He repeats. Your cheeks burn at the word. Of all the things to put on the line you didn’t think you’d have to put your actual ass. But if merely having anal sex with Kylo means the freedom and happiness of her your best friend and her lover, then you have no reason to say ‘no’. A part of you is rather pleased actually at the sexual request. This means he is still interested in you sexually at least.

“Alright,” Your agreement pleases Kylo.

“Anything else?” He asks.

“I…I can’t think of anything else at the moment…”

“I will tell you what will be expected of you when we return to Starkiller Base,” Kylo straightens up and returns his face to a more stoic look. You nod for him to continue and tell you.

“You will remain at my side at all times except when I give you permission to be on your own. We will continue your force training as long as it will not negatively affect your pregnancy. You will have a weekly visit with Dr. Ryza to ensure that you and the children are healthy. We will also uphold our former promise of daily intercourse unless you are unwell and during the time after you give birth. You will no longer have your own quarters. You will stay with me in mine,” Kylo lays out the expectations. The corners of your lips turn upward as you find these new requirements rather pleasing.

“I can live with that,” You try to respond casually.

“And you will never leave me again. You will be all mine. Never anyone else’s especially that pilot you were with,” He adds.

“I only ever want to be yours. I’d never be with anyone else even that pilot. But you will have to be all mine as well and never leave me either,” you found a new condition to add as you step close to him.

“I can agree to that,” His hands come to hold your face. You almost melt in this hold. You stare into his now tender eyes.

“We must be open and honest with each other though. You must tell me what you are thinking and feelings. I will do the same,” You have to establish the way you two need to proceed.

“I will try.”

“Do or do not. There is no try,” You remind him making him smirk.

“I will then.”

“And although you don’t love me and I’m nothing to you, I promise I won’t stop loving you.” You swear.

Ben rubs his thumb against your cheek. Your name escapes his lips.

“I keep telling you, you’re not nothing. You’re not just my cumslut either,” He refers to the term you called yourself before you left him.

“I told you. You are my…my sweetheart. And I…” He pauses. You hold your breath. What will he say? You stomach flutters restlessly.

“I lied. I lied to protect myself.”

“You lied about…” You need him to say. You feel his fingers tense against you. His jaw tightens. His eyes glance away from yours. His pale cheeks gain a light color. If you were sitting you would be on the edge of it.

“Tell me, Ben,” You press. He closes his eyes but when he opens them, they are on you. 

“I am not incapable of feeling _that_ for you,” He still refuses to say the words properly.

“Feel _what_ for me?” You will not get away with his elusiveness.

“Love.” He says the word as if it were a curse word. You start to smile.

“Do you… love me, Ben?”

“Have my actions not made my feelings clear to you?” He lets you go. Han and Anakin were right. He does…he does love you. But you need to say it. He has to say it. Then you will have no doubt.

“I just need to hear it. Just once. I’ll never make you say it again,” You promise. He looks to the ground. Why is it so hard for him to say? You know. All who he has loved has hurt him. Saying the words gives power to the one who hears it. It gives the listener the power to hurt him. But you don’t want to hurt him. You never want to hurt him.

“You promise?”

“Yes. Add it to my terms of my surrender,” You nearly gush.

“Then we are agreed on all of the terms?”

“Yes.” You nod. “Now tell me, Ben.”

You grab his hands. He still hesitates. He looks away from you.

“Your surrender must be sealed first and by something stronger than words,” Ben immediately makes you think of the oldest way to seal a deal. You won’t say it out loud but the idea of making love to Be after this time of apart to seal this promise is exactly how you want to do it.

“How will we do that then?” You play coy.

“I will have you legally bound to me,” He answers.

“Legally bound?” You do not understand. “Do you mean you will have me enslaved to you legally? I don’t believe it is legal here on Naboo.”

Ben lets out a soft laugh.

“No. I do not mean to make you my slave,” He answers.

“Then what?” You still don’t know or understand. What must he make you to accept your surrender and to be able to tell you what you want you want to hear most in the world?

“I am going to make you my wife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I put the wrong trooper number in this chapter so I have edited it.


	50. The Festival of Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! In the last chapter I accidentally put the wrong trooper number for Robal Naberrie. It has been fixed but for those who read the last chapter before the edit, the proper Trooper name for him is FN-0878.  
> Thank you guys for the kudos and the great comments! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 50

Wife.

Wife.

Did he really just say wife?

“You-you want to marry me?” You can hardly believe it.

“Yes,” Ben nods. You squeeze his hands. You cannot stop yourself from smiling. He holds his own smile.

“How do we…where do we…” You have no idea how you two can get married. You’ve never witnessed such an action. Ben licks his bottom lip suddenly realizing the complication of finding someone to legally wed them. A spark comes back in his eyes as does the solution.

“I came here before when I was a child. I know where a member of the brotherhood of the Cognizance should still be living. We will go to him.” Ben decides.

“Alright.” Giddiness is coming over you. This is not lost on Ben.

“Should I bring the knights to be our witnesses?” Ben asks himself more than he is asking you. 

“I’d rather not have them…especially that Ap-Lek,” You bring up the groper.

“Ap-Lek and Kuruk are tending to their wounds so they would not come anyway,” Ben looks toward the door. He must have punished Ap-Lek for his inappropriate actions. How sweet.

“Kuruk? He didn’t grope me.” You are not sure why that knight would be punished.

“He had your hair. None of them will have any part of you especially as a trophy,” Ben squeezes your hands. You remember now that Kuruk was wearing your hair.

“I see. Then will I have my items back from Vicrul?” You think of the other things taken from you.

“What has he taken?”

“My lightsaber, two kyber crystals and Queen Moxa’s pendant,” You list them off.

“Moxa’s coaxium pendant? How did you get that?”

“A lot has happened in our time apart…” You really don’t want to talk about the battle with Asharr. Ben stays silent for a moment. You know he wants to know but he is willing to not ask at this time.

“I will get them from Vicrul. Then we will go…without the knights,” Ben lets go of your hands. He walks out of the door leaving you alone.

You can barely breathe. Ben is going to marry you. You never ever thought you would get married. It is such a forbidden thing for troopers. You are amazed at how far you have come. Your rise is not what you care about though. You only care that now you will be with Ben and your children will be with their father. Jyn will be free and Robal can go to her. Now, you just have to turn Ben from the First Order. Then he can reconcile with his parents. Han will get to be an active grandparent like you and he want. You feel as if you want to thank the Force for this.

The door opens and Kylo returns with your items. His hands are so larger he is able to hold the kyber crystals and your lightsaber hilt in one hand and the pendant in the other. You cannot wait to have his hands on you and his fingers in you. He puts the necklace around your neck before you can even reach for it. His hand runs down the chain. The back of his fingers strokes your breast briefly as he lets go of the pendant. He takes the crystals from his other hand.

“I am amazed you attained so many crystals and on Dantooine,” He remarks sincerely.

“Had you not been such a good teacher I would not have even been able to get one,” You attribute your success in part to him.

“Where were you storing these?”

You grab the skirt of your dress. You lift the side slowly to reveal more of your leg. You hope he likes what he sees. You raise it high enough for him to see the garter with the pouch. Kylo kneels down and puts the crystals there. His hand goes to your thigh. It starts to move up but instead it slides down.

“And this?” he holds up the lightsaber. You drop the lifted side of your dress then being to raise to other side. Showing the holster. Kylo places it there. His hand again lingers on your leg. You want to throw your skirt over his head and have him eat you out right here, right now.

“We’ll have time for that later,” Ben stands. You blush.

“Did you hear my thoughts again?” Your hand covers your mouth.

“No. I was speaking to myself,” He answers slightly amused now knowing you are having dirty thoughts as well.

“Are you sure we can’t…do a little now?” You come and put your hand on Ben’s chest. His hand comes up and grabs your chin. You stare into eyes. 

“I don’t want to rush this,” he replies.

You can’t fault him for that. You know it will be worth it.

“I’ll put on my helmet and gloves then we can go,” he starts to hold out his hand to summon the items. You put your hand on his to stop him.

“Wait.”

“What?”

“I want to marry you like this. Not in your mask.” You voice your preference.

“I can always take it off.” He has the items come to him anyway.

“If you wear into the city you will raise concern among the people and they may go to the Queen and claim that the First Order is trying to cause issues. You don’t want to start that do you?” You hope the suggestion of a possible political error will sway him to keep himself uncovered. Ben considers your words and the issue.

“I understand what you’re saying…I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go unmasked,” Ben starts to agree.

“I don’t think it would hurt at all.” He starts for the door. It scrapes again as it opens. You see the Knights stands outside. All of them are there waiting except the groper and the hair-wearer. You do not see them anywhere. You sense the surprise in the knights though you cannot see their faces. They must be shocked you are not beaten or dead.

You keep your head up though and make sure they know you are not afraid of them. How could you be? You are going to be marrying their leader and at his own choice.

“Hold onto this till I come back for it,” Kylo hands his helmet to Vicrul then puts on hig gloves.

“Where are you going?” Ushar is not afraid to ask.

“It’s none of your concern. Just stay here till we return,” Kylo snaps. Ushar just nods in submission. Kylo leads the way to exit the ship.

Exiting the Night Buzzard, you see the sky has darkened greatly. You also see a group of troopers out there with Kylo’s Command Shuttle. Among the four-man group you see FN-0606, FN-2802, FN-9330 and FN-0878. They salute when Kylo comes near them though the salute is delayed a few seconds as you know the troopers must be wondering who he was till they recognized his clothes. You forget sometimes that not everyone has seen Kylo Ren’s face.

“FN-0878, you will come with us. The rest of you return to the ship and go back to Starkiller Base,” Kylo orders. The troopers leave except the FN-0878 who you know is Robal. How fortunate it is that he is one of the troopers who came with Kylo! However, FN-0878 does not feel fortunate in being chosen to stay behind with Commander Kylo Ren as the rest of his comrades are to go back their base.

Kylo begins walking again. You keep to his side not sure what he is thinking or where he is going. FN-0878 tags along behind the two of you. As you all walk through the docking bay, you assume he intends to leave the bay. You look around and see the Gilded Osprey is no longer in its spot. This means Poe is gone. There is some relief in this knowledge.

Leaving the bay, you see the streets are full of finely dressed persons. It is not much different than earlier when you walked the streets. But there are so many more and they all hold unlit sparklers in their hand. Is this a part of the festival? It is rather funny that despite this being a festival of light you see no lights except dim street lights and some lights in the buildings you pass.

People part and move when they see your group walk down the road. Even though the people may not know who Kylo Ren is, they can feel the ominous power he holds. The stormtrooper with you all also gives away the connection to the First Order. No one wants to provoke the First Order and have them come to Naboo with a stronger force.

Walking rather far out from the city, you see that you are approaching the edge of the lake. The buildings begin to disappear as the road comes closer to the water. You see a small stone villa at the lake. It is dark except for a faint light in the window coming from a candle. Kylo stops at the villa. From here you can see the city and the lake at the same time but it is all so dark.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Kylo’s knuckles hit the door. You all wait patiently for answer. There is none.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Kylo hits is a bit louder this time.

“Ah, stop your banging, I’m coming,” You hear a gruff voice from behind the door. It opens slightly. Though the door is barely opened, you can see an older man with a thick black beard with a strip of gray in it. He has a purple cap on top of his bald head that matches the purple robes he wears. His green eyes look Kylo over.

“What do you want?” He does not attempt to be polite.

“Are you Brother Bracken Kartak of the Brotherhood of Cognizance?” Kylo only answers with his own question.

“Yeah. So?” The man is clearly annoyed with the disturbance.

“We want to be married, now,” Kylo steps back allowing the man see you. You see his peridot eyes run over you. You see them stop at your pendant. Greed is in his eyes but he would not say anything. It is not the way of the Brotherhood to want such trivial things like riches.

“I can see why,” he mumbles then straightens up. “But I can’t tonight. The Festival is about to begin and I don’t want to miss any of it. Come back in the morning.”

The man begins to shut the door. Kylo puts his hand out to stop him. Kylo waves his hand.

“You will marry us now,” Kylo tries his mind trick.

“Are you some sort of Jedi?” The only ordained man knows of the Jedi ways scoffs at the attempt.

“Please, we just want to be married,” You speak up.

“I’m sorry, dear, but nothing is going to change my mind, not even some Jedi mind trick,” He starts to close the door again. You see Kylo begin to raise his hand. You sense the intention to choke the brother into submission. You put your hand on Kylo’s arm.

“Surely, if we compensate you for your troubles, you could perform our marriage?” You try to reach him without violence.

“Well…my time is very valuable tonight. I don’t know if you could afford to pay for my services,” His eyes keep flickering to your necklace. You take it off.

“Would this be enough?” You hold it out toward the man. He licks his lips hungrily as you dangle it in the air. “It is purified coaxium. The Queen of Kessel was the last owner of it. It is a very rare find.”

“I suppose it will do,” The man acts as if he will be taking a loss. You hold out closer to him. He snatches it and looks at it smiling. He looks back up to you and Kylo. He looks beyond the two of you as well.

“Why do you have a trooper with you?” He begins to be concerened.

“He is our witness,” You decide quickly to remove the concern. Brother Bracken pushes out his lips btu relaxes them again.

“I will get the paperwork. Come on in,” He opens the door the rest of the way. As he turns to go get the paperwork, he puts on the necklace. He checks himself out in the mirror in his hall before he keeps walking. 

You and Kylo enter the brother’s home with Robal following. There is hardly any furnishings or pictures. The walls instead are lines with bookcases with ancient scrolls and books. There is a mirror in the hall. The brother stops at the only large desk in the house that is covered in papers. It sits in the back room of the house. Reaching this room, you find large arches that give unblocked access to a balcony right over the lake’s water. You walk out onto the balcony. From here you can see even more of the city. The little lights that had been there before have no gone out. Why are there no lights?

“Here are the papers,” you hear the brother say. You come back to the desk in the room. You see he has laid out a scroll on the table. The words on the document are simple. They state that the two persons to sign this have agreed to be legally married and their union has been overseen by a member of the Brotherhood. There is a space for you, Kylo, the brother, and two witnesses to sign.

“You sign here,” He hands a quill in an ink stand to you. You raise up the quill and bring it to the paper. You stop. You look to Kylo.

“What name do I put?” You ask. You have had so many different names. Kylo leans down and whispers your name. You smile. You write it down and pass it to Kylo. He takes off his gloves and puts them into his pocket.

“You sign here,” The brother points to the blank space meant for the second spouse. You watch as Kylo signs the paper ‘Ben Solo’. Kylo realizes his mistake and putting his birth name. He goes to mark it out but the brother takes the quill away before he can. You are actually happy that the document will have Ben’s name instead of Kylo’s.

“I’ll sign this after you two make your vows as will your witness. Do you want to do the ceremony right here or-”

“Could we do it out there?” You jump in and point to the balcony. You’d rather be outside then in this room of musty scrolls. The brother nods and begins to walk outside. You start to go but Kylo stays still.

Ben takes your hand. You enjoy the hold as he walks you out where the brother is. The knights follow at a distance.

You and Ben stand hand in hand before the brother. Even in the darkness that is only lit by the moon and stars, you can see Ben’s eyes. They are the only light you need.

“We are gathered here for the union of these two persons. To keep this ceremony brief and to keep us from missing the Festival of light, I am just going to skip to the only real important part: the vows,” The brother speaks quickly. Any normal bride may have been upset with the brother’s attempt to rush the ceremony. You don’t care. You just want to be married. You do not turn your eyes from Ben. He does not turn his from yours.

“I willingly give myself solely to you. I promise to give my protection, my respect, my comfort and my love to you. Whether together or apart, we are one. Only death can part us.” The words are simple but powerful. Hearing this vow come from Ben to you is nearly overwhelming. Tears of joy come to your eyes but do not spill.

“Now you say the same thing,” The brother whispers as you have been silent for longer than expected. You take breath.

“I willingly give myself solely to you. I promise to give my protection, my respect, my comfort and my love to you. Whether together or apart, we are one. Only death can part us.” You pledge.

Ben smiles. He doesn’t care that the other witnessing sees.

“Does anyone object to this?” Brother Bracken looks to Robal. The trooper knows better than to object. In fact, he knows better than to ever speak of this matter either. It is a rare sight. Why was he chosen to witness this anyway? Does Commander Ren intend to kill him after his secret union? Is he merely to serve as a witness then be killed to keep silent?

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.” The brother announces. He steps away. He waves for Robal to follow him so they may sign the document as the witnesses and give you two a moment of privacy. You and Ben don’t notice.

Husband and wife. How strange it is to hear someone call you and Ben such things. Yet it is exactly the way you want you two to be referred to forever.

Ben takes your face in his hands. He leans down brings his lips close to yours. You close your eyes.

You almost melt his hold with his pillow-soft lips on yours. It feels like an eternity since you have felt them. Your eyes are closed but a tear rolls down your cheek. He pulls back and rubs the tear away with his thumb.

“I love you.”

Great orbs of light shoot into the sky and settle there. They twist and reshape themselves into various creations. Fireworks whistle as they shoot onto the sky before bursting in the air. The sight is astounding and breathtaking. But none of it can distract you or turn your attention away from Ben who has finally said ‘I love you’.

“I love you,” You tell him though he already knows. He kisses you once more.

“What do you mean you don’t know how to sign this? Just put your name,” You hear Brother Bracken scolding Robal.

Ben passes you and goes straight to the other men. Robal holds the quill in his hand not sure if he is to sign his sign name FN-0878 or not. He has never been put in this situation before. You come up as well.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m just unsure of how to sign,” Robal apologizes to his leader.

“I have been told your real name is Robal Naberrie. Is that correct?” Ben looks to his secret cousin.

“It was in the time before…”

“Sign it with that name. You are hereby retired from the First Order.” Ben frees the soldier.

“I am?” Robal nearly drops his firearm and quill in shock.

“Yes. So, sign your name and then leave. But do not speak of this to anyone,” Ben adds some conditions.

“Y-Yes, sir!” Robal signs his birth name to the scroll. You smile looking at the now official document.

“You’re all apart of the First Order?” Brother Bracken puts the information together.

“Say nothing of it and I will spare your life,” Ben threatens. The brother nods and swears his silence.

“Robal,” you walk to the now former trooper who has taken off his helmet and put his weapon on the table as well.

“Yes?”

You lean close to him and take his hands.

“Two-Six is here. She is with your family. She goes by ‘Jyn’ now. Your family desperately wants you home as does Jyn,” You whisper.

“Where are they?” He asks keeping his voice low. You tell him the address.

“Thank you. Thank you.” He looks to you then to Ben. He flees the villa. You go to the front and watch him run. You know he will run without looking back. You smile knowing that this will only set off a chain of happy events for Jyn.

Ben comes and you feel his hand take yours. He lifts your hand up and kisses the back of it. You look to him. You love this very soft side of him. It is strange from the way you’ve known him yet you know it is not uncharacteristic at all, not for Ben.

“Let’s go back now,” Ben directs. You agree. Going back can only mean one thing, the one thing you long for almost more than anything else.

You two walks slowly up the path. This allows you take in the light show. You can hardly pay any attention still. Everything is like a dream.

Reaching the Night Buzzard, Ben lets go of your hand. Coming inside, you see that the knights stand as if they have not moved since you two left.

“From now on you will refer to my _wife_ , Lady Ren,” Ben presents you to the knights.

“Wife?”

“Lady Ren?”

You hear them mutter among themselves. You are surprised at the new title as well. Ben grabs his helmet from Vicrul.

“Do no bother us till tomorrow morning,” Ben sets the ban on all persons from you two. You blush as you know they can probably assume what you two will be doing. Ben takes her your hand unashamed not. He leads you deep into the ship. He opens a door and steps inside. You come in after him. You find a large bed in the room with black silk sheets and pillows with matching silk coverings. There isn’t much else in the room. With the door shut behind you, Ben comes close. He tosses his mask away.

You look up into his eyes. Desire is etched into their very core as are yours. You want him, all of him. 

“I missed you, Ben,” You brings your hands to his face.

“I did too,” He kisses you hungrily, desperately. As his tongue wrestles yours, his fingers find the clasp around your neck that holds your dress up. He undoes making your dress fall. You squeal in the kiss at the sudden chill that comes over your body at the new exposure. But you take the moment to kick off your shoes. He runs his hands down your back then grips your buttocks. You moan into his mouth as he kneads the cheeks like dough. He raises his hands up so he can wrap his arms around your wait. Like this is he is able to lift your feet of the floor just enough so he can carry to the bed. As the backs of your legs meet the edge of the bed, he lies you down. His full lips leave your mouth. They move to your cheek then to your neck. He begins to moves his lips further down. His lips are like fire on your skin. They burn their way down through valley of your breasts, over the plains of your abdomen and settle at the entrance of your pleasure garden. His breath is hot at your entrance.

You spread your legs eager for his serpentine tongue to invade your garden. You feel the nerves in your pelvis begin to tingle as his mouth kisses your netherlips. His tongue moves as if to spell out his name into your cunt. You grip the sheets beneath you and gasp his name over and over. You look down at the black-haired man as he aggressively devours your honeypot. His lips move to suck your pink pearl as he brings two of his fingers to plunder your wet folds. He plunges them in making you through your head back. They reach far into you and turn about before spreading in and out. His teeth scrape your clit on purpose making it hard for you to stay sane.

Slipping a third finger into is too much. As you burst in pleasure you cry out his name. Your body collapses with the release. Ben gets to his feet. You watch him clean the excess around his mouth with his thumb. He licks it before taking his wet fingers and sucking ever last bit of your off them.

Ben removes your garter then your holster. He drops them to the floor before he begins to removes his shoes. His hands go to remove his clothing.

“Wait!” You sit upright.

“What?” He does stop himself.

“Let me,” you get on your knees on the bed and face him. You let your hands go to the cowl that is still around his neck. You remove it quickly then let your fingers go to the zipper of his shirt. As you drag it down your eyes gobble up the skin beneath. You cannot stop your lips from going and kisses his exposed skin. You kiss from his collarbone and shoulders down his sternum and stomach. With his shirt off, you move lower. You unzip his high waisted pants. Push them down you see his already hard manhood waiting for you.

“I’ve missed you,” You whisper bring your lips close to his tip. Your lips graze it as you speak. You do not wait for response as the uprightness of his cock is sign enough that it missed you as well. You take him into your mouth slowly. You keep your eyes upturn to look at Ben. His stay on yours. He likes watching you do your best to swallow him.

Up and down, you bob and allow your tongue to curve around his member to coat him in your saliva. Your left hand stays at the base of his cock to rub while your right hand goes to massage his balls. His hand goes to your hair. He grips the headband in your hair. Your name is the word leaving his mouth most often.

Ben grimaces as he shoots his load into your mouth. You swallow what you can before pulling up. You swallow the rest. Seeing some still on his cock you lick it off. He becomes hard almost immediately.

You know exactly what he wants. You want it too. He steps out the pants you lower. He climbs onto the bed keeping you beneath him. His mouth goes to your ignored breasts. He takes your right nipple into his mouth as if sucking it will give him the elixir of everlasting life. His hand massages your left breast. It is rather soothing as they had been aching earlier. He switches side but does not switch his vigor.

His hips rests between your legs. His pressed against your already soaked cunt. You move to signal the urgency of your need for him to finally himself to you.

“Please, Ben. Please,” You begin to beg.

“Please, what?” He pulls his lips from your breast and looks to you smugly.

“Make love to me, please. I need you inside me. I want to be one with you. Please, Ben,” You plead.

Ben gives into your pleading. He takes himself in hand and guides himself to you trembling lips. He pushes inside powerfully practically making his tip kiss your already occupied womb. You grip his shoulder in delight as he does. He stays like this unmoving for a minute.

“Look at me.”

You do. His eyes have no other intent but to connect to yours.

“I never want to be without you. Please, don’t ever leave me again,” he is so vulnerable.

“Only death will part us, Ben. I mean it,” You reference the vow you made.

“I’ll never let it,” He tells you. You smile at statement, You know it is impossible for that to be true but the sentiment still warms your heart. You grab him by the back of the neck and pull him down to kiss you. Though you both still hold the taste of each other on your own tongue, you two don’t mind.

Ben draws his hips back slowly pulling himself almost out before he throws them forward abruptly sending him deep in again. He repeats this. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast.

It’s just like the first time. You mentally recall. His movements are just like the first time he made love to you on Hoth.

Ben’s thrusts become deeper and harder. It is what you need though. You need to the power of your beloved inside you. You grip his hair and scratch at his back. You wrap your legs around him and lock your ankles. Although him cumming inside your will not lead to anything, you want it. You want his everything.

Ben breaks the kiss and looks you in the eyes again. Like this, you can see only him. Nothing else exists. There is no bed, no room, no ship. There is no Naboo or even a galaxy. There are no knights of Ren, no First Order, no Resistance. There is no Snoke, no Hux, no Phasma. There is no Jyn, no Han, no Chewie, no Poe. There are no Jedi and no Sith. There is nothing and no one. All there is to exist is you and Ben.

Toes curling, bodies shaking and names being cried out, you and Ben finish. He collapses atop of you as he fills you with his seed. You enjoy the weight on you even if It crushes you a little. He pushes up realizing he is practically lifeless on you. You raise your hand to touch his cheek.

“I love you,” You rub your thumb on his cheek. He kisses your lips once more.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know it was a bit fluffy but I like to think Ben is a little fluffy especially with Y/N. 
> 
> Also with this marriage, comes the return of the smut! Thanks for sticking with this story even with the lack of smut over the past twenty chapters. You guys are really amazing and make writing this story so much more fun! I look forward to continuing this journey with you all. :)


	51. Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I appreciate them. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 51

The sky is filled with exploding lights of almost every color imaginable. The light orbs twist to take shape to tell the story of Naboo and its union to the Republic, the fall to the Empire and then the rebirth of the New Republic with its ties to Naboo. The children hold lit sparklers and sing along with the adults the song of unity sung by the Naboo people of the last hundreds of years.

Robal runs. He runs without care for the show of lights. He runs without care that the people around him sing then song he learned once but has now forgotten over the years. He runs barely avoiding running into the singing, joyful people around him. He needs to go home. He needs to go home to his family. He needs to home to his love.

Robal stops. It this him. Though he has been given the address for the Naberrie family, he has no idea what streets have names and what numbers they are. Nothing on this planet is as he remembers from his childhood. He was just a child after all when he left. It has been about twenty years. So much can change in two decades.

Robal has been told his family is alive but who is in his family is? His mother was killed on the ship from where he was taken. His father died trying to protect her. Would his grandmother still be alive? Would his Aunt Pooja? Are they both dead? Are there just distant relatives with the Naberrie name around? If that is the case then will they even accept him? He has been gone for twenty years. He looks nothing like he did as a child. With no one from his childhood there to recognize him, how will he be accepted home? How will his family accept him?

Two-Six will be there though. All the Naberries he knows could be dead but the woman he loves will be there. To see her again is all he needs. To hold her in his arms and to call her ‘beloved’ as he did in what seems ages ago, is all he needs.

“Excuse me,” Robal approaches a woman taking a break from singing by stuffing a sweet roll in her mouth.

“Can I help you?” She gulps down the bit of roll in her mouth.

“Could you please tell me what direction the Naberrie household is?” He asks then gives the address.

“Naberrie…” She puts her finger to her sugar-coated lips as she tries to think. It comes to her and he points out the way.

“Thank you!” He bids her and runs. He runs without any more concern. He will find his love and hopefully his family.

The roads twist and turn sharply. They are overcrowded and result in Robal having to squeeze his way against the flow of the people. He even has to push pass droids. He ends up on a street before a large stone house with mosaic designs over the large red doors. It is familiar like from a dream. Robal knows it is not from a dream but a memory almost scorched from his mind thanks to the work of the First Order.

Despite having run all this way, Robal almost drags his feet as he approaches the door. He takes several deep but shaky breaths. He has not felt this nervous in a long time. He raises his hand to rapt on the door. He hesitates.

What if this is all a simulation? The First Order often simulated events to make them seem so real as to test what troopers would do in certain situations. When they were reconditioning him for his affair with Two-Six, they had her in his simulation a lot. Every time it broke his heart to shoot her when ordered even though he knew she was not real. But this could be an elaborate simulation from the Order to test is he has truly been reconditioned. This whole trip to Naboo, witnessing his commander marry FN-1971, and being freed could just be put in there for a bizarre twist to make him think this real. What will happen when he knocks? Will the First Order end the simulation to show that he is a traitor for running home instead of retuning to the First Order? Should he have protested his retirement? Should he have insisted on staying in the First Order when Commander Ren freed him? Or will the simulation allow him to come into this house only find everyone including Two-Six dead to show him that there is nothing for him but the First Order?

Robal’s stomach gurgles in the anxiety. His chest clenches and he grits his teeth unsure of what to do. He cannot take another simulation. If it is and they take him out of it, he will make sure he will never experience this again. He will never let them torture his mind again even if it means ending his life. He cannot take it anymore. He hits the door softly. He will see now if it is a simulation or not.

“Hello,” A droid answers the door.

“Hello. Is this the Naberrie household?” Robal nearly vomits his request.

“Yes.” The droid bends its torso to nod.

“I must see them. Are they here?” Robal asks.

“They are holding their annual Festival of Light party. Do you have an invitation?” The droid asks.

“Uh, no. I-I just need to see them,” Robal sweats.

“You need an invitation to come in tonight. It is the rule set by Mistress Pooja,” The droid states.

“Pooja?” Robal starts to smile. His aunt is alive then. “Please, let me in. I must see Pooja.”

“I’m sorry but without an invitation I must decline you entry.”

“Please! I need to see her. It is urgent!”

Hearing the word ‘urgent’ the droid’s programming makes it concerned. If a matter is urgent and concerns Mistress Pooja, then the droid needs to contact Mistress Pooja.

“I will alert Mistress Pooja that you have an urgent message. What is your name so I may tell her who has the message?” The droid ask.

Robal swallows.

“Robal Naberrie,” He gives his name. It is strange saying it instead of FN-0878. The droid closes the door and walks away. Robal stands at the door sweating bullets in what is left of his trooper uniform. He pats at his dark hair hoping to looks presentable before his aunt. His knees quake as he waits.

The door opens spontaneously. Any normal person may have jumped but Robal’s trooper training has left him unafraid of the sudden movements. His go over the beings in the door way. There is old woman with eyes he soft and kind like that of his grandmother’s. Another woman is there with graying curls and heavy white makeup. She is also seems familiar. But the last woman there he knows. Even under what looks like two inches of makeup he knows her immediately. He smiles as does she.

“Robal!” The one he knows, the one he loves, jumps before everyone else and embraces him. She plants several kisses to his cheeks, lips and forehead. He laughs at the affection. He would return it but his eyes go to the older women.

“Robal?” They both are unsure of you.

“It is him. It is him!” Two-Six looks to the old women. They smile with tears coming to their eyes. They join in hugging the ex-trooper. In the embrace of these women, he knows them all. He feels the love he has longed for so long. He is home. He is happy. If this simulation, he prays it never ends. 

* * *

“I know,” Ben smirks above you. You start to pull him down to bring him into another kiss, you stop. You feel a warmth in your chest that spreads throughout your body. It feels like joy but it is coming from a different entity. Yes, you’re are overjoyed to be with Ben and you already sense his elation but this feeling is coming from someone else. It is the feeling you have sensed before in Jyn. Jyn…it must be Jyn. Robal must have found Jyn and you are feeling her joy. You know that is it. Jyn has Robal, finally.

“Why are you crying again?” Ben start to wipe your fresh tears.

“I feel it.”

“Feel what?”

“Jyn. She is happy. I can feel her from here,” You inform him of your feeling.

“You can feel her feelings all the way from here?” Ben is honestly surprised and impressed.

“Yes. I feel yours as well.” You out your hand on his chest.

“Oh? And what am I feeling?” He raises an eyebrow suggestively. You feel him hardening against you again. You bite your lower lip while you smile. You push Ben off and over so that he lies on his back. You get atop him and straddle him. Your spread lips press his erection against his stomach. You pull off your sleeves as they are the last of any clothing you have on your body. You rub yourself against the underside of his cock. His hands come up and you take them in your hands. You lace your fingers with his. You lean down.

“You are very, very, very happy,” You answer still rubbing yourself. “But you’re always happy when we fuck.”

Ben grins.

“You are not wrong.”

You push your lower half up enough to let his unsatisfied member straighten up. You lower yourself onto it. You moan as it fills you up. You slowly begin to rock your hips so his cock stirs up your deepest parts. You look down at Ben as you ride.

Ben’s large lips are open to allow him to take deeper breaths. His dark eyes move between watching your breasts bounce and your womanhood consuming his manhood. You bring his hands to your breasts. You move them so he massages them. He sits up on his own and brings his mouth to them. He takes charge of sucking and massaging. He has one hand go lower to tease your clit. You wrap your arms around his head as he works.

“Yes. Yes. Oh, that feels so-it feels so-so-so good!” You allow yourself to be vocal. You begin to lean backward. You practically fold in half backwards. Ben lets his mouth and hands leave your breasts. His had go to your hips and pull them down hard against him letting your legs lose the control over the speed. You don’t mind. How could you? He is hitting you in a new angle and the power is mind blowing.

“Oh, yes! Yes! Don’t stop! Oh, don’t stop!” You cry out the encouragement as your grip the bed beneath you. He raises himself to his knees. He pulls you against his now thrusting hips.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” You scream. Your third orgasm of the night ripples through you leaving you barely able to breathe. Ben gives a grunt and one more thrust. He leaves himself inside you as he also tries to catch his breath. He pulls out of you allowing you to lying without him touching you.

Ben lays back on the bed, his head hitting one of the pillows. You sit up and crawl back to lie next to him. You lie your head on his chest as well as your hand. He puts his hand on yours and stays still for a minute. You look up at him and he down at you. His eyes move to your wrist. He touches it.

“What is this?” You realize he did not notice them before as your sleeves had covered them.

“They are bracelets to help with my nausea,” You answer with their purpose and not with who gave them to you. You don’t want to bring up his father and any negative feelings in this time.

“Right. Right. The children,” You realize Ben had forgotten about your pregnancy during this time. “I didn’t hurt you or them, did I?”

You giggle at his concern. You grab his hand and put it on your lower abdomen.

“We’re fine. One of the doctors I saw said that I _can_ have sex,” You recall Dr. Flor’s words.

“I just don’t want to hurt them or you,” Ben is still concerned.

“I think if the twins survived me battling a pirate captain to the death, we can survive a good fucking,” You laugh. Ben gains a mixed look of horror, concern and anger.

“What?” he sits up making you sit up as well. You bite your tongue. You shouldn’t have said that.

“What did you do?” You feel Ben’s anger. It is out of concern but still you dislike his anger.

“Well…after I left Canto Bight, I got caught by some pirates. Their captain was actually Asharr, you know Queen Moxa’s bodyguard from Kessel,” You bring up the woman he should know.

“But I killed her,” Ben points out.

“Apparently, she survived and someone replaced her limbs with droid parts as well as her stomach,  
You inform him of the way she lived. Ben tries accept this way the woman survived.

“She tried to poison me but that didn’t work. So, I challenged her to a fight to the death because that was the only way I would be able to live and get off the ship. We fought, I killed her and I got off the ship. I went to a doctor right after and she said everything was fine with the twins!” You are sure to include how responsible you were in seeking a doctor and that you and the twins were and are fine.

“You should not have fought her. You could have been killed or miscarried,” Ben gets off the bed furious.

“But I wasn’t and I didn’t. I told you we are fine. You can see we are all fine,” You point out the result.

“Still! You can’t be so reckless!” Ben scolds.

“I wasn’t being reckless. I was doing what I had to do to survive,” You defend your actions. Ben balls his fists.

“If you hadn’t runaway in the first place you wouldn’t have had to try to survive,” He has not forgotten that you left him. You know you could scream at him for making you feel like you had to leave but you don’t. You two already spoke of this. You both know better now. You take a breath and reach out to take his wrists.

“Ben, let’s not fight about this. It’s all in the past now. I am alive, the twins are fine, and we are together. I’m never leaving you again. Please, let the past go and let’s enjoy our new life together,” You speaks softly and calmly. Ben relaxes and releases his fists.

“I just…I don’t like…I don’t want anything to happen to you or the twins. I hate to think of what could have happened to you and what could happen to you.”

You reach up to hold his face. And stand on the bed to gain some height. You look down at him. His eyes do not turn from yours.

“The past is done and I am fine. So, don’t worry about that anymore. And don’t worry about the future. We will be together and go through everything together. I will protect you and you will protect me. I’ve seen glimpses of our future, Ben. We will be happy and together.”

Ben’s hands rest on your hips. His thumbs are long enough to stretch to your pelvic area and rub as if he were trying to rub the children.

“You’ve really seen our future?” He does not ask because he questions your ability.

“Yes. I’ve seen you and me and…our son,” You see him start to smile as you say ‘son’.

“A son?”

“Yes, a son. He’ll look just like you,” You think on your vision of the little boy. You push some of Ben’s hair away from his forehead. Ben lowers his head and press his face against where your womb should be.

“Anakin,” he mumbles against your stomach.

“Anakin?” You are surprised hearing the name of the force ghost you often interact with lately.

“I want to name our son Anakin, after my grandfather,” Ben looks up to you. You smile.

“I like it,” You do. Anakin is the one who has encouraged this relationship since nearly the beginning.

“Anakin Ren,” Ben leans back from your stomach.

“Anakin Solo,” You correct him. Ben shakes his head.

“Ren,” Ben gives his preferred surname.

“Solo,” You cross your arms. You prefer Solo to Ren.

“Ren.” Ben’s hands go to his hips.

“So-lo,” You lean down so your face is right in his.

“ _Ren_.”

“ _Solo_.”

“I am Kylo Ren. You are Lady Ren. Our children will be Ren,” He makes his argument.

“I am legally married to Ben Solo, so our children will be Solos,” You make him remember the mistake he made when signing their marriage scroll.

“You will give into me. You always do,” He points out the pattern of your faltering for him. You blush.

“I don’t _always_ give into you,” You look away annoyed.

“You do. You can’t resist me,” He smirks.

“I can’t resist you?” You start to laugh.

“You can’t just as I can’t resist you.” His hands leave your hip and go to hold your face. He beings down close to his.

“You can’t resist me, can you?” You rub your nose against his.

“No. I can’t, wife.”

“Wife…” You like the sound of him calling you that. You start to smile.

“You like me saying that?”

“Yes. Say it again,” Your smile turns to more of a grin.

“Wife,” he speaks huskily.

“Again,” You urge bring your lips close to his.

“Wife.” He closes the space between your lips. You put your hands on his shoulders as his tongue twists around yours.

Ben’s hands go to the back of your knees and pulls making you fall onto your back. You gasp and the sudden change in your position. He grabs your hips and turn you over to your stomach. He gets back on the bed behind you. You lift your hips and get on fours to prepare for his entry.

“Mhm!” You clutch the bed sheets as he delves himself deep inside of you. He bucks into roughly and grabs the back of your hair and pulls making you look back at him.

“Tell me, _wife_. Whose cock can you not resist?” Ben’s voice is anything but gentle as are his movements. You love it. You love the zeal in his eyes.

“My _husband’s_! I can’t resist my _husband’s_ cock!” You cry out. You feel Ben’s rod grow even bigger inside you. He lets go of your hair. Instead he grabs your arms pulls them back toward himself. He slams harder into you. You yelp at the action but revel in the sensation.

“Tell me what you want your husband to do to you,” Ben huffs.

“Fuck me. Fuck me hard. Fuck me hard all night till I can’t move anymore,” You shriek. He lets go of your arms. Your upper body collapses against the bed trapping your arms beneath you. You keep your hip upturn as to not stop Ben’s movements. One hand lifts up your leg and brings it back to wrap backwards over his hip. Your body rocks violently but it is just what you want.

“I’m going to make you cum again and again and again till you can’t feel anything anymore,” He promises.

“Please, yes. Make me cum! Make me cum!”

He drops your leg and leans down so his chest presses against your back. He mostly crushes you as he drills further into you like he is trying to find oil in the mine that is your pussy. He sticks his tongue into your ear before nibble on the lobe. His fingers find and play with your clit as roughly as he thrusts. You can’t take much longer.

“I’m going to cum. You’re going to make me cum!” You whine.

“Cum for me. Cum for me,” His voice is barely above a whisper. He is relentless. You pant as you grow closer and closer and-

“Ahhhhhhhh,” You convulse. Ben kisses your ear and your neck then cums. He turns you over when he pulls out of you though he wants to linger there. You exchange a kiss. You take a breath so satisfied from the lovemaking. You start to close your eyes tired from the passionate activity. Your eyes pop open thought feeling Ben’s erection again.

“I told you, wife, I’m going to make you come till you can feel anything anymore,” he reminds you of his latest promise. You gulp but smile. If this is what it means to be Ben’s wife, then so be it. You are more than happy to always be in his embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the request for Robal's return, JayReza.   
> Also if anyone has any sexy requests, don't be afraid to let me know!


	52. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Here is the next chapter! Please, enjoy!  
> (Yes, I do love using exclamation points! lol)

# Chapter 52

The Knights of Ren should have been able to get a long night’s sleep given that they no longer had to search for Kylo’s apprentice and they were not traveling anywhere yet. However, Lady Ren’s loud moaning and cries of pleasure echoed throughout the ship during most of the night. Just as there was a lull of silence that made the men think they were going to get some peace, Lady Ren would start up once more. Ap-Lek wouldn’t have minded if his injury would have let him masturbate to the sound. Alas he could not and so he had to listen without being able to do anything about it.

For those who believe their leader to be a virgin knew for sure he was not one anymore. Lady Ren’s loud expressions made it clear to the knights.

Kylo emerged from his quarters in the morning looking fresh of face though all knew he did not sleep much either. He gave Kuruk the order to start for Starkiller Base before he went to their food facilities. He returned to his quarters with some portion bread and tea. He made sure to get enough for himself and his bride.

You stay asleep in the bed completely exhausted from the night of passion your husband would not let you take a break from until you literally couldn’t feel anything anymore. Ben sets the food aside and stares at you while you sleep. He undresses not seeing a reason to keep his clothes on when it is just the two of you. He gets on the bed next to you again. As you lay flat on your back, he moves his body down so his head rests at your hip. He lets his large hand rest on your lower abdomen.

Feeling the light pressure where Ben’s hand is, you begin to regain some consciousness. Your eyes barely crack open but seeing Ben lie there you don’t speak or make any indication that you are awake. You don’t want to have him think you are ready for another round of love making, at least not yet.

Ben rubs your lower abdomen lightly. He moves his fingers in circles as is to massage you. He begins to whisper. Your ears strain to hear his words.

“I promise…there’s nothing I won’t do for you. I’ll come through for you. I won’t abandon you. I’ll always be with you.”

You know these promises aren’t for you and not for your ears. They’re for the children, but it is hard to talk to them when they are just little specks of stardust inside of you. You treasure this moment though it is not meant for you. You stay still so Ben won’t know that you heard. Ben presses the lightest of kisses on your womb and pulls away. You can hardly hold yourself back from the gentleness.

Ben repositions himself so that he lies on his side next to you with his head at yours now. You roll over while still pretending to sleep and cuddle against his chest. He doesn’t push you away. Instead, he puts his arms around you and holds you close to his chest. You love this. You love this side of Ben.

You pretend to wake up and yawn as quietly as possible. You look up to Ben’s face and smile.

“Good morning, husband,” You greet him.

“Good morning, wife,” He replies. You blush and snuggle closer to him.

“I don’t know how I will be able to walk at all after last night,” You sigh against him. You feel the vibration of his chest that gives away that he is silently chuckling happy at is affect on you.

“You’ll have to learn how. I can’t promise to hold back,” He runs his hand over your hair. 

“We both know I don’t want you to hold back either…But you might have to help me get around this morning,” You are not joking.

“I guess I will have to take responsibility for my actions.”

Ben lets you go and gets off the bed. He rips the sheets off you. He leans back down and manages to scoop you up into his arms. You hold onto him as he moves you off the bed. He is careful to carry you to the restroom in his quarters on this ship.

The restroom is different than the one at Starkiller Base. It is darker and not a sleek as Kylo’s other bathroom. The mirror is murky except for in the center. There is a toilet and sink but instead of a shower there is a bathtub. Ben puts you down on the ground. You are able to stand. He moves to the tub and turns it on.

“You’ll feel better after a soak,” he puts his hand in the running water to make sure it is not too hot or too cold. You smile at the effort he is putting in to care for you. Nausea comes for you though killing your rather happy feelings. You move toward the toilet but don’t want him to see you puke up your guts. You were so embarrassed when you did in front of Poe.

“Ben, could you…could you get me something to drink?” You try to get him out of the room.

“I have some tea in the room,” Ben walks from the tub to go back to the bedroom. With him gone you rush to the toilet. You let your morning sickness take over. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Fuck. Are you okay?” Ben stands in the doorway holding your tea, not sure of what to do but just stand there and stand. You stand up.

“I’m fine. It’s just a part of the pregnancy,” You walk to the sink to wash your hands.

“I thought your bracelets would prevent this?” He nods to the gold jewelry on your wrists.

“No, they just help in suppressing it some. Oh, thank you,” You take the tea from his hand. You take a sip and smile. It’s your favorite. Ben’s brows dip and his lips are downturn.

“I’m really fine, Ben. I’m sure Dr. Ryza will tell you this is perfectly normal when we get back to base,” You think of the future.

“Yes, I will make sure she tells us everything to know about what to expect,” Ben makes his intentions known. You drink more of the tea and enjoy its warmth and how it soothes your throat and stomach.

Ben walks to the tub that is nearly full now. He puts his hand in the water and shakes it off when he pulls it out. He turns off the water.

You can get in now,” He waves for you to come to him. You walk slowly to the tub after putting the cup on the counter by the sink. Coming to the tub’s side. Ben picks you up again. You enjoy the way he cradles you then lowers you into the water. You sit allowing yourself to relax in the hot water. He pulls his arms away from you but you grab his hand.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” You ask wanting to just be with him.

“You don’t want some time alone?” He seems surprised.

“I want time alone with you,” You don’t let go of his hand. Ben turns his head but you see the small smile coming onto his face.

“Come. Get in with me,” You tug at his hand. You spread your legs creating some space on the tub floor for him to sit.

“You think I’ll fit in there with you?” He snickers observing the size of the tub. He is well aware of his great size.

“We can try it,” You tug again. Ben slowly gets in the tub with his back to you. As he sinks into the water, he bends his legs so he is able to fit better inside. You wrap your arms around his broad back pulling against your breasts. You have him lower himself who his head leans back to lay on your shoulder. You are able press your cheek against the temple of his head. Your hands venture to his chest and rub in circles as to massage his pecks. Ben’s arms lay on top of your legs beneath the water. His hands rub the muscles there. You didn’t realize you were that sore there but enjoy the massage. You inhale his hair enjoy the cedar scent of what must be the shampoo he uses. You bring your hands up from his chest and put them in his hair. Your wet hands dampen his hair but not my much. You massage his scalp as your run your hands through his hair. You enjoy the softness of his lush locks.

You can tell Ben enjoys it as he does not stop you and slides lower so you can have easier access to his head. With the back of his head at your breasts and his lower half of his face submerged in the water your keep your fingers working. You smile seeing the opportunity to have some fun with his hair.

You section the hair on the top of his hair into four parts. You twist and cross them till you turn each section into a braid. You leave the rest of his hair loose. You smile proudly at the style you’ve made.

“What are you doing?” He starts to raise his hand to his hair.

“I’m just playing around…” You answer.

“Did you braid my hair?” He turns his head. You giggle.

“Yes.”

He sits up straight with both of his hands going to his braids.

“Aw! Don’t undo them! I think they look good!” You grab his hands.

“Come on now. I can’t have my hair all braided up. If anyone sees-”

“Who will see besides me? You wear your mask everywhere else. Just leave them for now. For me, please,” You don’t let go his hands. Ben pauses then sighs.

“Alright. I’ll keep them in,” He gives in easily. You let go his hand and put your arms around his shoulders. As you hug him you squish your cheeks against the top of his spine while your naked breasts push against his back. You give the back of his neck a kiss. You plant a few kisses on his shoulders as well.

“Careful. If you keep going, I’ll have to fuck you right here in the tub,” Ben makes it sound like a threat. Though he nearly left you unable to move this morning because of last night, you are not entirely opposed to heating up things in this bath more. Your hands drop down from being joined at his chest to going down beneath the water to where his resting dick waits. As you take it in your hands, it grows quickly. Ben groans your name. You set your mouth on his neck where you suck and nibble to leave your mark upon as he did last night all over your body.

You enjoy hearing him breathe heavily as you play with his hot and hard member. You love that you are the one making him breathless from your touch. You want to tease him and make him say embarrassing things like he does with you.

“You like this, Ben? You like me playing with your cock? You like me making you dirty when we’re supposed to be cleaning up?” You put out the questions.

“Yes.” He grunts.

“Yes, to what? I ask a lot of questions,” You tease and focus rubbing your thumb over his tip as your other hand gets a grip on his balls.

“I like you playing with my cock even hear in the tub,” He answers with his voice straining slightly. You grin against his back.

“You want me to make you cum right here? Do you want me to bathe in your cum?” You stroke him firmly. Ben does answer but considers the image of you covered and bathing his cum. It is almost too much for him. But there is something more he wants.

“No.”

“No?” You stop your movements.

“No,” He turn so he can look at you.

“What do you want then?”

Ben pulls your hands away from him and pushes himself up from the tub then turns around. He lowers himself on to his knees. He faces you now with his erect dick pressing against your stomach.

“I want you to keep your end of the deal,” He answers. You flush.

“My end of the deal? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You look away though you do. You know exactly what he is talking about.

“Don’t play coy with me,” He puts his hand beneath the water and put two fingers inside your pussy that automatically tightens around him. His thumb goes to rub your clit as he curls his fingers in you. Is he trying to get you turned on so you’ll be more willingly to let him inside that one spot?

“You know what you promised me,” He comes closer to your face. You press your lips together anxiously.

You did promise him access. You did it for Jyn and Robal’s sake. Still, you’re hesitant to let him inside there. You’re scared.

“I’ll make it feel good,” He slips a third finger inside you, “Like how I always make you feel good.”

“Promise?” You ask timidly. He smirks and nods his head. You push yourself up making his finger leave you. You turn around and hold onto the edge of the tub. You lift your backside out of the water though half of your womanhood stays submerged. You grit your teeth and your muscles tighten in preparation for the penetration.

“You need to realx,” You feel his hands on your hips and rubbing you in an attempt to relax you.

“I can’t. I’m scared,” You don’t relax. You feel him lean over you and his face come next to yours.

“I promised to make you feel good. I’ll keep my promise, sweetheart,” He kisses your ear. Still hunched over you, he grabs your breasts and gently rubs them as his lower self rubs against your entrance. The friction down there feels good but you’re still not sure about the new entry spot.

Ben kisses your spine as he sinks backward. He releases your chest and his hands move down you with his mouth. He rests on his knees as he has his hands spread your cheeks. Without hesitation he begins kissing and licking your third hole. He moves between it and your vagina. He does this as if to associate the known pleasure with the known. As his tongue buries itself in your preferred spot, his finger delves slowly into your less preferred one. He moves it about in an attempt to stretch a little. He brings his second finger to help stretch. Though your ladyship feel great with his lapping, you still are unable to enjoy the finger in your ass. Ben easily senses this.

Ben holds out his hand. You heard the rather dirty mirror open. You look back and watch as a tube of bacta ointment flies from a shelf in there to his hand. He pulls away his mouth and fingers. You hear him squirt the ointment.

“Why are you using that?” You ask.

“It can serve as a lubricant. It will help you,” He covers his fingers and pours some over your asshole. He rubs over and into the hole. Oddly, it feels much better with the ointment than with just his plain fingers. His mouth goes back to eating your special spot as his fingers do their best to stretch your other hole. The sensation is not as terrible as you thought. In fact, it is turning you on even more having his tongue in one hole and his fingers in the other.

“If you-if you keep licking and playing with me like that I’ll-I’ll come, Ben,” You alert him.

“Good,” His words are muffled as his mouth refuses to leave your lower lips.

“Ben, I’m-I’m-I’m-” You can’t stop yourself. You flood his mouth with your pleasure. He laps it up happily. He pulls his mouth away and his fingers as you rest for a moment. You look over your shoulder and see him pointing the ointment on his bulging phallus. He grabs your hips that lowered into the water after your orgasm. He set them up and rubs more ointment between your cheeks. He spreads the cheeks once you hold your hips in the proper position. He brings his tip to the now coated hole.

“Are you ready?” He waits for you to consent.

“Yes,” You nod.

Gently, he pushes inside. Your fingernails scrap against the tub as the head of his cock enlarges you so the rest of him can enter. Sheathed inside you, he stops.

“Are you okay?” He asks. You let out the breath you’re holding.

“Yes.”

“I’m going to move now,” He informs you and begins to move his hips languidly so you can adjust. It’s not as horrible as you thought but it sure isn’t as nice as him inside your vagina.

“You okay?” He checks again. You nod. He puts his forearm under you belly and raises you up.

“What are you-” You start to ask as he makes you lean against him and practically sit on his fleshy probe. Your legs spread and your feet grip the sides of the tub. He keeps one of his arms around your waist as he still pumps inside your ass. His other hand goes to insert his finger inside your open hole. You wrap your arms around his neck behind you. His mouth sticks to your neck.

You gasp and squirm as he fills both holes. He pushes himself inside at the same time he pushes his fingers inside. With the length and width of his three fingers inside you, it feels almost like you’re getting fucked by two men. But you are glad it is just Ben.

“You’re so tight. Fuck, you feel so good,” he puffs against your neck. “Do you feel good?”

“Mhm,” You do. You thought you’d hate it but you don’t. It feels good like this. And now he really has possessed all of your body.

You notice his finger move more rapidly now throwing off the rhythm but it does not decrease your pleasure. It brings you closer and closer to your climax.

“Ben, I’m going to-”

“Me too,” you feel him twitching in you. You turn your face and find his right there with yours. You both open your mouth and let your tongues reach each other. They twist and try to hold on to each other but they are too slippery to hold.

“Ah! Ah!” You burst. Ben exclaims as he can no longer hold off from cumming. He leans back and falls to the other side of the tub taking you with him. As you two pant, he pulls himself and his fingers out of you. You turn onto your side so you have a better look at him. You both claim each other’s lips. With your lips sealed to each other, your tongues have a fighting chance to keep hold of each other.

Bang! Bang! You hear the door. You two stop your kissing. The door opens making you sink into the tub with your arms over your chest as to cover your nakedness. Ben remains unmoved as Ushar walks into the room.

“What is it, Ushar?” Ben demands to know.

“Supreme Leader Snoke is calling the ship to speak to you, Kylo,” Ushar answers.

“I will be out in a minute,” Ben tells Ushar.

“Okay,” Ushar turns around and leaves.

“I have to go talk to Snoke. You clean up. I have some food in the room for you,” Ben moves you off his lap. He climbs out of the tub dripping water everywhere. He holds his hand out and summons a black towel from a shelf you had not noticed earlier.

Ben leaves you. You would clean off in the tub but as it has a mixture of varying things in it, you drain it. You sit on the empty tub though not directly on your bottom as it is sore from the recent sex. You turn the faucet back on and wash off with the running water instead of letting the tub fill back up.

You get out of the tub and summon a towel to yourself. After your towel off and use the facilities, you walk to the counter to grab the tea left there. It has grown a bit colder but it is still warm enough to be enjoyable.

You go back to the bedroom. You see the wheat cakes and quickly devour a few but leave some for Ben. He doesn’t need to not eat because you are greedy. You look around for something to dress in. You notice Ben has taken his clothes and your dress from the previous night is still on the floor. You pick it up and put it back on as you have nothing else to wear. You blush looking in the single mirror in the room as the dress even with the sleeves back on, do not cover the recent love bites given to you by your new husband in the night. You go back to the bathroom and find the bacta ointment he used for your anal dalliance. You apply it to the visible marks. Though you don’t mind them you don’t want to flaunt the results of your sexual escapades to everyone when you return to Starkiller Base.

Across the ship, Kylo stands before the hologram of his Supreme Leader. He Is rather relaxed though he knows he shouldn’t be so before his leader.

“Tell me, my apprentice, have you found our traitorous Sly?” Snoke asks seeing Kylo.

“She has returned to us,” Kylo tries to make it clear that you came to them.

“Returned? She came back willingly?” Surprise is clear in the old man’s blue eyes and malformed face.

“Yes. She came back of her own accord,” Kylo answers. This does not seem to please the old man. His wrinkled lips purse against the hand he has brought to it.

“Bring her to me upon your return to the base. I will deal with her then.” Snoke orders.

“I will,” Kylo nods and the hologram cuts off. Kylo begins to sweat. In his joy to be reunited with his beloved apprentice, he forgot Snoke’s desire to punish you and have Kylo kill you. He will have to make sure that Snoke will not harm you or the children. But how will he do so? Snoke is not one who easily forgets or forgives.


	53. A Slip Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Over 800 kudos! Thank you guys so much! I appreciate it so much!

# Chapter 53

You manage to replace your garter and full holster on your legs under your dress when the door opens. You smile when Ben returns to the room. He removes his helmet and puts it on the bed as you come to hug him.

“Are you okay?” You notice a look of displeasure on his face.

“I’m…fine.”

“No. What’s wrong?” You are not convinced as you let him out of your arms.

“Nothing.”

“What did Supreme Leader Snoke say?” You know what ever is bothering Ben must be in relation to Snoke.

“When we return to base, Snoke will be there. He will want to see you,” Ben brings up the possible future.

“Oh? He will?” You pale thinking of the supreme leader, “I doubt he will welcome me back as easily as you…”

“No, he will not. He is…not happy with you,” Ben gives no comfort. You look down to the ground. What will this mean for you? Ben’s leather covered hands go to your upper arms. You look up at him.

“I will do I must to protect you,” His thumbs rub against your skin. You give a faint smile. You hope he will but you both know Snoke is more powerful.

“Is there a way to earn his favor so it will not lead to you having to protect me?” You step out his hold. You don’t want Ben to put himself in danger. Ben begins to try to think of ways you could have the Supreme Leader not be too upset with you.

“Did you learn anything from the Resistance pilot you were with?” Ben brings up Poe. You stop yourself from saying Poe’s name.

“What do you mean? I learned some things from him…” You grow uncomfortable thinking of Poe. You don’t know how Ben will react to learn of your time with the pilot. Even though nothing really happened with Poe, you don’t know if Ben will believe you.

“Did you learn anything from him about the Resistance? If you have then you can use it to your benefit,” Ben explains what he means.

“I…” You pause. You think about on your journey with Poe. You two did speak of the Resistance and of the First Order. But you did learn anything of use about the Resistance. Even if you had, you feel that you would not want to give over that information. You don’t harm to befall those people.

“I only learned of their purpose. I never learned any more information about them. I would have if I had gone with him to the Resistance Base,” You tuck some hair behind your ear.

“You were going to go with him?” Ben loses all pleasantness in his face. Jealousy creeps into his eyes.

“Yes. I was.” You don’t know why you can’t stop yourself from speaking the truth.

“You were going to join the Resistance?” Ben’s voice turns colder like Kylo’s. You cross your arms over yourself and divert your eyes from him.

“I was.”

Kylo breathes deeply and angrily. You hear his gloves as he makes some fists. You know this must feel like a betrayal to him.

“You were going to join those rebel scum and stay with that pretty boy pilot?” Kylo grits his teeth and his left eye twitches.

“Yes.”

“Did he fill your head with a false utopia of freedom for all when he was fucking you?” Kylo’s words are hateful. You drop your arms and look him in the eye. Your finger point and presses into his chest.

“How dare you! How dare you! Do you think so lowly of me that I’d bed any handsome guy who can fly a ship? I have been completely faithful to you. I didn’t even kiss Poe let alone fuck him because I love you. Yes, he told me of the ideas for a liberated galaxy under the New Republic. And, yes, I think it sounds a lot better than staying under the oppressive regime that is the First Order. But do not dare accuse me of infidelity and having my mind easily bent!” You can almost feel steam leave your ears as your blood boils. Kylo’s lips sty together as his chin wiggles and his eyes stay on you.

“If you think that then why the fuck did you come back?” Kylo growls.

“Because I love you! Have I not made that clear?”

“You loved me and still left me. What changed your mind?”

“Anakin,” You cover your mouth. You didn’t mean to bring up the Force ghost. Dumbfounded, Kylo’s mouth is set agape.

“Anakin? Our son?” He only thinks of the unborn.

“No…Anakin Skywalker,” You will not lie.

“My grandfather? How the hell did you talk to him?” Kylo finds your claim impossible.

“He keeps coming to me. He came to me when I nearly died on Kessel. He’s come to me in my meditations and lately he has come to me in the form of a Force ghost thing,” You finally tell him about the interactions.

“He…He’s come to you? He speaks to _you_?” Kylo struggle to process how his own grandfather has been coming to this random woman instead of his own grandson. He has not come to his only grandson who has often called out to him.

“I know it is strange. But he has.” You know Kylo is shocked.

“What has he said to you?” Kylo needs to know. He needs to know what his grandfather could possible have to say to you.

“He has said so many things. Btu he mostly has encouraged me to study the Force and to be with you. After I left, he kept coming to me and pressing me to return to you. He doesn’t want you to make the same mistakes he did. He thought me being with you would keep you from fucking up like he did. I love you and so I want to be with you and help you like Anakin said,” You share parts of the conversations between you and the ghost. Kylo stays still taking in your words.

“Why didn’t he say this to me? Why didn’t he come to me?” Kylo questions.

“I asked the same thing. He told me I’m…easier to reach.” You don’t want to tell him of Anakin’s insistence that you are light.

“But I…I should be easier to reach than you. I’m his grandson and stronger in the Force than you,” Kylo’s jealousy over his grandfather’s visits to you are not hidden.

“I know but…I can’t explain it,” You really don’t know what to say.

You both stay silent for several moments. Neither of you can look the other in the face.

“I shouldn’t be mad. Being able to communicate with someone beyond the grave is a difficult thing to achieve. You must be much stronger than I thought. But I am jealous and I wish you would have told me about your conversing with him before now.” You are surprised at Ben’s calmness now.

“I will tell you if he speaks to me again.”

“You should not mention any of this to Supreme Leader Snoke. Don’t mention my grandfather your pilot or your near switching of sides. This will only anger him more,” Ben advises.

“I won’t then.”

You two stay quiet once more. It feels awkward.

“But you really didn’t learn anything about the Resistance? Did he not tell you where the base he was going to take you to was?” Ben returns to focusing on finding the Resistance.

“No. He was very careful to keep that a secret.”

“Did he mention anyone else that the Resistance associates with or who any of their leaders are?” Ben continues. You bite your lower lip. He only mentioned one name.

“You know a name, don’t you? Tell me. Tell me who it is,” Ben applies the light verbal pressure. You don’t want to say. You don’t know how Ben will react. You shake your head.

“Tell me. It can help you.”

You shake your head. You don’t want the name to hurt Ben.

“Don’t protect these people. Your safety is more important than theirs.”

“I’m not withholding to protect them. I just…I don’t…I don’t want to upset you.”

“You’re upsetting me by holding back. Just tell me the name.” Ben is growing annoyed again.

“He mentioned a general.”

“General who?”

“General Leia Organa,” You hate to say it. His eyes lower and the corner of his lip upturns giving his face a rather bittersweet expression.

“I know about her already.”

“You do?”

He nods.

“I’m sorry. It must not be easy to fight against your own mother. I know that you love-”

“Don’t.” he stops you.

“Don’t?”

“She has made her choice and I have made mine. I don’t want to speak of any past feelings I had toward her again,” Ben sets his boundary.

“But you shouldn’t forget those feelings, Ben. She loves you and you love her even though you are on different sides,” You takes his hands.

“I doubt you know what my mother feels for me,” He pulls his hands away. His eyes grow hard and he steps back from you.

“I am sure she loves you still,” You reach for him again. He shakes his head and stay out of your reach.

“No. She thinks of me as a monster. She doesn’t love me, not anymore. I know that if she had known what I’d become she would not have had me,” Ben’s mind descends.

“That’s not true. It isn’t. Your parents don’t regret having you. Even though you are not what they thought you’d be they do love you and don’t regret having you.” You have to tell him this truth.

“How the hell would you know? You’ve never had parents and just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you are an expert of parental love,” He snaps.

“Because I met your father.”

Now you know Ben is surprised. His eyes are twice their normal size. They twitch alternatingly.

“You met my father?”

“Yes. I traveled with him to Canto Bight. In that time, he spoke of you often. He never spoke of you with disdain. I asked him if he regretted having you. He said that he didn’t. He said that he-”

“Stop!” Kylo orders turning from you.

“He said that he loved you and-”

“Stop!” Kylo orders again.

“Why? Don’t you want to know that your father still loves you despite everything? That he doesn’t regret-”

“I said stop!” Kylo throws his arm and hand. In his motion, he makes the force throw you back. You hit the wall. He is right on you and holds your hands by the wrist.

“He is a liar. He was bullshitting you so you’d think him a great father when he was shit! I never want to hear you speak of him or my mother again. Do you understand?” His grip is bruising and his voice is harsh. You see it is pain and heartbreak that is causing this. But your heart aches at not only his words and pain but by his current action. Your lips quiver. Your eyes do not hold back the evidence of your sadness.

Ben’s face turns from tight to long. His eyes dart to his hands as he realizes what he is doing and what he done. He lets go of your wrists and your hands automatically go to your abdomen. Though the action did not have an effect on the twins, it only made you see that Kylo’s rage could possibly lead to more dangerous outbursts.

Ben looks at his hands and then to you. He is frozen unsure of what to do. He’s really fucked up. He’s done what he never wanted to. He’s acted like the monster he did not want to be for his children. He’s hurt you maybe not necessarily physically but he’s hurt you.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” He apologizes earnestly. He takes you into his arms before you can resist. He holds you tighter than usual and buries his face into your hair and your nose is crushed into his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” He keeps repeating.

You take in his apologies and keep in his hold.

“Don’t ever do it again. I don’t care that you are to embrace your feelings. You can never do that to me or the children.” You speak into his chest.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry. I will not let it happen again,” He swears.

“If you do, I’ll cut your balls off,” You threaten though you don’t know if you actually could. Ben starts to chuckle in your hair but suppresses most of it.

“Cut me in half if I do,” he goes further.

You are not sure how long you stay in Ben’s arms. You do forgive him but you know what he is capable of now. You love him and would die for him but if he ever hurts the children, will not be forgiving. You hope he never slips up again. He has the same hope as well. 

When Ben lets you go, you look up at him. He wipes your face. He brings his hand up again for another wipe but you hold him. You turn and kiss his massive palm. Your lips leave his hand which you press to your face.

“Now what can I do to sway Snoke to be merciful?” You ask.


	54. Meeting with Snoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 54

The Night Buzzard lands in the docking bay of Starkiller Base in the darkest hours of the night. The Knights gather behind Kylo Ren. You stand at Kylo’s side. You feel sort of out of place among the men. Not only are you the only woman but you are wearing a white, flowing, sparkly dress while they wear their various dirty, black garbs and helms. You put a braid in your hair short hair but having it makes you feel some closeness to Kylo who still has his braids on under his helmet. Kylo did not bind your wrists in cuffs as a sign that you are there willingly which may help show your sincerity in returning to the First Order.

You still keep your back straight and your head highly held. You cannot show any weakness to these men who are subordinate to your husband. You also cannot show fear to anyone in the base. You may be a returned “traitor” but you cannot be intimidated. You are under Kylo Ren’s protection and are able to handle yourself on your own as well.

As you all begin to descend on the ramp, you give off the air of confidence. Inside, your stomach drops and your nerves want to shake seeing the several groups of armed troopers, General Hux and Captain Phasma waiting for you. Hux’s face is the only one you can see unobscured by a helmet. His nose is scrunched up and his purple-pink lips are set in a frown. His blue eyes go to you then to Kylo.

“Welcome back, Commander Ren. I see you have captured the traitor,” General Hux gestures to you, “We are ready for her execution.”

You nearly gasp seeing FN-2187 step forward with a laser axe. You restrain yourself from reacting. You don’t want to show any fear for death. You see that Eight-Seven’s hands tremble holding the laser axe. You sense is distress at the possibility of having to kill. Never did you think he would be assigned execution duty the day you may be killed. Eight-Seven has never killed anyone and you’d hate for the first blood he sheds to be that of his friend’s. You’d also hate to die.

“As always you are overeager and overstepping, General Hux,” Kylo remarks deepening Hux’s frown. You withhold from smirking at Kylo’s words. You don’t want to appear arrogant and disrespectful even if you despise the red haired general. “Supreme Leader Snoke wishes to see her.”

Kylo resumes walking. You keep in step with him as best that you can. General Hux huffs but steps aside with Captain Phasma and Eight-Seven allowing you all to pass unblocked. You do your best not to look at the troopers although you know they are staring at you. Their thoughts are very loud but you try to ignore them. You are to focus on your impending meeting with the Supreme Leader.

Reaching the elevator that opens almost instantly, you enter with Kylo as well as with the knights. The men surround you and Kylo as the small room shoots up.

Ascending higher and higher, you feel your blood pressure rising as well. You are almost to Snoke’s throne room. You have not seen the Supreme Leader face-to-face since the last time General Hux wanted to kill you. That time you were spared as you were force-sensitive and had Kylo’s promise to train you himself. Snoke named you Sly and that was it. Though then he was “kind” to you, he still makes you anxious. He could kill you in an instant. He is that powerful in both the force and in his command. You have betrayed the First Order, your master and the Supreme Leader. You have nothing to offer the Supreme Leader. If he wants your life, he will take it.

Ben’s gloved hand lightly touches yours drawing your attention from your thoughts. His fingers naturally lace with yours. He squeezes your hand. You are surprised that he is holding your hand, especially in front of the knights. But you are glad he does. It calms you. You do not forget that Ben is there for you, for the children. He will protect you and them. He promised.

The elevator door opens to the hall just outside the throne room. Exiting, Ben lets go of your hands. He is Kylo once more as he must be before Snoke. The knights stop outside the throne room’s door. They will not be going in with you and Kylo. You reach under your dress and pull out your lightsaber.

“Present him your lightsaber as your lightsaber is your life. To give it to him will be to give him your life. He will know that you are truly committed to being a loyal subordinate,” Kylo had told you on the ship. You must be prepared to swear your loyalty to the leader.

The door slides open. Kylo enters first and you behind him. The room is lit brighter than the last time you were there. Snoke sits on his dark throne. He lounges fully aware of the authority he holds. Reaching the center of the room. Kylo kneels. You come beside him and kneel as well. You do not raise your head or stand up even though Kylo does.

“Well, well, well. I see you succeeded in finding your faithless apprentice,” Snoke speaks to Kylo and points to you with his talonlike finger.

“Sly returned to me of her own volition. She has realized her folly in leaving the First Order and made the correct decision to come back,” Kylo begins your defense.

“Is that so, Sly?” Snoke speaks to you.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. I was a fool to have left but I chose to return as I know this is the path I am meant to take. I come before you now and ask that you forgive me for my recklessness. I present you my lightsaber as a gift as I also present my life,” You say the words Kylo suggested on the ship when you two were planning for the meeting. You lift up the lightsaber up on your open palms. You feel the lightsaber leave your hands and fly away. Snoke catches the weapon you forged in one of his hands. He looks at it then back to you.

“Stand up, child,” Snoke bids you. Standing up, you lift your face to look at the ancient man. He lets your lightsaber dangle from his fingers.

“You are right that leaving was a mistake. The First Order has done nothing but help you since your parents abandoned you. We have raised you since infancy. We have clothed you, fed you, trained you, and provided you medical attention. I have allowed you to rise beyond your humble ranks to be an apprentice to _my own_ apprentice. Yet, you left. Why?” Snoke desires to know. Your cheeks flush.

“There was a misunderstanding between my master and me. It has since been cleared up,” You try not to give too much detail. You are sure Snoke could not care less to know about your heartbreak over the belief that Kylo did not love you back.

“What was this misunderstanding?” Snoke presses. Your eyes flicker to Kylo then down. You press your lips together uncomfortable in sharing this incident with the supreme leader.

“I have been told that embracing the darkside also means embracing your emotions. I did so and when I brought them to my master, I was led to believe he did not share the emotions I did. I left because of that. But I have since learned that I was wrong and my feelings should no dictate my loyalty to the First Order,” You lie a little at the end.

“What emotion were you feeling?” Snoke pushes. You still do not want to say.

“Love,” You know you cannot keep it a secret from him.

“Love,” he repeats the word with disdain. His lips go together and move about as if he wants to spit. He opens his mouth to speak instead. “You children must learn that love is a fleeting sensation. It is not something that will benefit either of you in the long run of things.”

Neither you or Kylo speak against the older man. In your heart, you know Snoke is wrong.

“You think I am wrong?” Snoke has sensed your thoughts. You gulp.

“Of course not, Supreme Leader. You are wise and know far more than I,” You praise him.

“Yet I can tell you disagree with me,” He calls you out then his old eyes turn to Kylo, “Even you disagree with me, Kylo.”

Neither you or Kylo speak up.

“Before I can accept you back into my fold, I must know what you have done when you were on the run. Come closer, child,” Snoke’s empty hand beckons you forward. You step forward to the stairs leading to his throne seat. You stop as the base. He holds out his hand toward you.

“If you do not want to feel pain, you will not resist me,” Snoke advises. You know he wants to probe your mind just as Kylo’s has done before. Though you do not want pain, you do not want Snoke to know the truth or what you did in your absence. You and Kylo also agreed not to bring up our marriage or the twins yet as neither know how the leader will react.

“I swear, Supreme Leader, I did not betray the First Order. I also have no information that will provide any benefit to the First Order. My master has already learned that,” You try to sway Snoke from entering your mind.

“I will see for myself,” Snoke snaps, his pale eyes cold and hard.

“Ah!” You shriek feeling hot iron pokers in your skulls. Your eyes feel like flaming coals and your body feels aflame. You feel Snoke trying to invade your mind. You should let him but you can’t. There are so many you want to protect including yourself.

Snoke scowls as you somehow resist him. It has been so long since anyone resisted his mind invasion. He did not know you were this strong in the Force. But he cannot trust you if he cannot get into your mind. He continues trying to bore into your head. He even causes your body to rise into the air.

“Stop resisting, girl!” Snoke spits.

Kylo stands watching his master reaching out toward you. He balls his fists and his arms shake as you levitate in the air screaming in pain. Your pain-caused tears fall from his face to the floor of the room. They darken the already dark floor. Kylo can feel your pain. He feels your fear. He feels your concern. He knows why you are resisting yet he does not. He does know that he hates watching you screaming, crying and suffering at the hands of Snoke. Your suffering is his suffering. It is also the suffering of your children. He cannot just stand by. He cannot.

“Stop.” Kylo takes a step forward.

“What did you say, boy?” Snoke turns his eye to his apprentice but keeps his hold on you.

“Stop. Let her be!” Kylo takes another step. Snoke waves his hand and sends Kylo flying back.

“You do not tell me what to do, boy,” Snoke hisses. As Kylo gets up he grabs for his lightsaber. He is ready to use it against his master. Snoke sees the move. He lowers you to the floor. You lay out struggling to breathe. You watch in horror as Snoke raises Kylo into the air. His force grip chokes the young protegee.

“You would dare to grab your weapon to use against me?” Snoke slobbers and stands livid. He moves down the stairs drawing Kylo closer to him and carrying your lightsaber in his hand. You feel absolutely powerless as your body still labors to recover from the torment Snoke has put you through. Having to see Snoke strangle Kylo does not help with your recovering. You want to help him. But you can’t.

“I am your Supreme Leader. I am your master. You will not attempt to strike me down especially over some whore who makes you think she loves you!” Snoke gnashes his teeth.

“She’s…my…wife,” Kylo chokes out the words. Somehow Snoke’s beady eyes become huge at the words.

“Wife? Wife!” Snoke drops Kylo. He pulls off his mask so he can breathe in more air. Snoke sees the braids in Kylo’s hair. He looks over to you. You reach out toward Kylo. His attention returns to Kylo.

“You have married her? When? Where?” Snoke questions Kylo has he still tries to breathe.

“Last night…on Naboo,” Kylo breathily replies. Snoke steps back trying to process this news.

“Why? Why would you-” Snoke starts.

“She’s pregnant with my children,” Kylo answers looking to you. He moves to you and helps you sit up. His hand goes to your stomach protectively and he holds you in his arms. Snoke gapes at you. He cannot believe this news. His fuzzy white brows dip in anger. He grips your lightsaber tighter. Will he strike you down?

Snoke’s eyebrows relax. You see his anger turns to something else in his eyes. Something not good. Something…devious. He gains a twisted smile showing off his crooked teeth.

“I sense them now…the different force signatures. You are having twins,” Snoke comes closer to you and Kylo. You grip Kylo’s arm fretfully.

“I am,” You nod.

“You should have said so to begin with,” Snoke keeps his smile.

“You are pleased?” Kylo is surprised by his master’s reaction.

“Yes. This is…great news. Stand, Kylo and Sly,” Snoke motions for the upright movement. Kylo rises then helps you up. You still hold onto his arm.

“I will see to it that this pregnancy shall proceed with the best care the First Order can provide. I know these children will be strong in the force and will do great things for the First Order,” Snoke already has plans for the unborn twins. You dislike the claim on your children’s future that he is making. But how can you speak up against Snoke when he could easily kill you and Kylo?

“So, you have accepted Sly’s return and she will not be executed?” Kylo wants total confirmation.

“Yes. Yes,” Snoke comes and your cheek with his long fingers before taking your chin in his grip. He keeps smiling. “Our dear Sly is welcomed back. She will remain in your care. And I know she will not betray us again. Will you, Sly?”

“I will not,” You agrees.

“Good girl,” Snoke releases you and hands you your lightsaber. “Take your wife to rest. I sense her fatigue.”

Kylo nods. He summons his helmet to himself and puts it on before allowing you to take his arm. You two near the door. You look back to Snoke. He still holds his wicked smile as you two leave. You should be relieved at his pleasure but it feels wrong. You know Snoke is up to something. You just don’t know what.


	55. A Check Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear Readers, it was pointed out to me earlier that some of the behavior exhibited by Kylo/Ben in previous chapters has been leaning toward that of abuse. I absolutely do not support abuse in relationships whether it is be verbal, emotional, or physical. I do know that this whole thing started with honestly the abuse of power and sexual harassment. In real life, I think such things are absolutely unacceptable. Many actions done by Kylo/Ben and even Y/N are inappropriate and are not conducive to a healthy relationship. This couple is problematic and working on trying to become healthy. Though this is a slow process that is starting to work for Kylo/Ben and Y/N, it is definitely not one to be mirrored. I say this because I wish someone would have told me when I was younger reading fanfictions that this sort of stuff isn't how it works in the real world. Anyway, This is just my personal opinion so do with it what you will. I know many things I have written and will write are not things I personally would go along with in my real life. However, this is just a fanfiction I’ve been using to cope with this pandemic and I add many things simply for the drama and spice.  
> That’s enough with my little public service announcement. I apologize for the length and if it seemed preachy. (not my intention at all!) Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 55

Reaching Kylo’s quarters, you still have not stopped shaking from your interaction with Snoke. Kylo takes off his helmet before holding you. You drop your lightsaber onto the bed where his helmet also rests.

“We’re okay now. You don’t have to be afraid,” He rubs your back.

“But I am. I am afraid, Ben. Snoke is…” You clutch at his clothes.

“He is our ally. You heard him. He will make sure you have the best medical care and you have been accepted back. We have nothing to fear now,” He tries to assure you. You step back from him and out of his grip.

“He almost killed you, Ben. I saw him choking you. He was going to kill you,” You shudder thinking of how powerless Kylo was in the incident with Snoke. You have never seen Kylo that way in a fight.

“He was not. I am too valuable to him. And I could have killed him if I wanted,” You are not sure if you believe Ben’s last claim. Nothing about what happened gave any evidence that Ben could have killed his master while being choked.

“He also wants the children. He wants to use them for the First Order. I thought we both wanted them to be free to make their own choices. With Snoke involved, he will not give them any choice but to serve him.” You point out the break of your and Ben’s plan. He puts his hands on your arms again.

“They will be free. They will not be slaves to Snoke or the First Order. I will make sure of it,” Ben truly believes what he says.

“You will?”

“Yes. I will do whatever it takes.”

“You’d stand up to Snoke?”

“Did I not stand up to him today?”

“You nearly died. I won’t let you get killed for-”

“He won’t kill me,” Ben’s hands go to hold your face and hold you so you must look him in the eyes. You are still not sure of this.

“I will become so powerful he won’t even dare. Trust me, I am growing stronger every day. I will be able to protect myself, you and the children,” He is so confident. You know he is powerful and the idea of him always protecting you is comforting. But you can’t always rely on Ben. He must be able to rely on you too.

“I want to protect you and them too, Ben,” You put your hands on his though they are still on your face.

“I will keep training you. Your power will develop more as well. You have already resisted Snoke’s mind probe. I don’t know how you did but damn I’m proud of you. You and I will be the most powerful couple in the universe. But we just have to wait and train. Then when the time is right, we will make known our true abilities and be free.” His excitement for the future flows into you. But his mention of making your powers known brings a little concern. His eyes have a similar spark to that you saw in Anakin’s when he spoke to Padme when he wanted to have a new empire. You wonder what he means and how you two will be free. Still, you smile and nod agreeing to this plan.

“Just as long as we are together. All of us.”

“We will be.”

You hug him and hold him tightly. He holds onto you firmly as well.

“Now, we should go to bed. We will be seeing Dr. Ryza in the morning,” Ben lets you go. He begins to remove his gloves and clothing. You remove yours including your bracelets from Han. You lay your items neatly on the back of his desk chair as does he. You put your garter and holster on the desk. You grab your lightsaber to put there as well. You kick your shoes off and have them go under the desk. Ben puts his helmet on the desk once he has stripped down to nothing like yourself. You get into the bed on the side closest to the bathroom as you always have in this room. You love the feel of his silk sheets and the smell of him all in the bed. With your head hitting the pillow, you want to sleep. Ben crawls into his side of the bed. He pulls you to his bare chest after he uses the force to turn off the room’s lights. In the safety of his arms, you can sleep easily.

* * *

Wet and hot is mouth around your nipple. A semi-smooth finger rubs against your slit and teases your clit. Another pair of fingers tweaks your nipple not set upon by a mouth. The sheet has been removed from the bed leaving your naked form open to the cool air of the room. The sensations wake you. Your opened eyes look down to see Ben suckling you hungrily. You put your hands in his hair as he does. You quickly notice his braids has been taken out. His dark eyes peer up at you when you moan is name. His lips stay latched up but they curve up pleased with you also enjoying it. His finger finally slips in between your folds with another to accompany it. You can feel his growth against you.

“Well, good morning to you too,” You chuckle.

“I couldn’t resist,” He speaks with his mouth still full of your breast making his words rather garbled. “You were rubbing yourself against me all night.”

“Mm. I’m…sorry…mmm…I didn’t mean to…disturb your…sleep,” You try to talk with his finger scissoring inside you.

“I liked it.” He removes his mouth from your chest. He kisses his way down to your navel. He sticks his tongue in your bellybutton making you squeal.

“I like your naked body against me,” He kisses the tender flesh beneath the button. He kisses your pelvis.

"I like that even in your sleep your body wants mine,” his lips press against your pubic bone. He pulls his fingers from inside you. He sucks on them. He positions himself so his face and easily go in between your spreading legs while his knees straddle your upper body leaving his stiffness dangling above your mouth. As his tongue gives you a lick, you shiver. You see his member grow larger as he eats your pink flesh. You raise your hand to grip his base and sit up just enough to flick his tip with your tongue. You take him into your lips and suck. You move your hand up and down to give attention to the area your mouth cannot easily access in this position.

The more Ben’s tongue ventures inside you, the more you find yourself struggling to give his third arm the attention it deserves. To help with the problem, Ben lowers his hips to gently fuck your mouth. You move on of your hands to grasp his ass cheek to help control the rhythm of his hips.

When Ben’s teeth graze your clit more than once on purpose, you squeeze his meaty arse. You don’t care that your nails leave marks on his backside. You care about the explosion building inside you and the pleasure you hope you are giving to Ben. You wiggle nearing your end and feeling his cock pulsating in your mouth. You cannot last much longer. Neither can Ben.

You writhe blissfully as your ecstasy comes from your core. You swallow Ben’s release at the same time. He moves off you and shifts himself so his face is at your again. He kisses you letting your fluids mix with his. You’ve come to enjoy this strange mixture. You believe Ben has as well. Breaking the kiss, you and Ben take a breath.

“Now, we need to get ready for Dr. Ryza,” Ben sits up. You sit up with him.

“We’re not going…?” You want more.

“Not yet,” He grabs your chin and has his thumb wipe away the excess of mixed juices that has leaked there. You grab his hand and take his thumb into your mouth. You suck it clean. His nostrils flare. Though you just had him in your mouth, he wants to return there. But he knows it isn’t time for that.

“Take a shower,” He pulls his thumb out of your mouth. You pout but get out of the bed. You go into his bathroom. As you shower and use the facilities, your nausea develops. You are glad now that Ben did control himself as now you are puking and would have hated to do so during sex.

You come out of the bathroom to grab your Naboo clothes. Ben stands in his Kylo garb. He holds out a dress to you.

“I grabbed this from your old room. I will have some droids move the rest in here later,” He informs you. You take the dress and quickly put it on. The sleeves are long and loose while the upper half of the dress clings to your breasts. From your ribs down it flows till it reaches your ankles. You see that he has also brought some heeled booties for you to wear. You put them on as well. You grab the bracelets form the desk and latch them onto your wrists.

“Where should I put my lightsaber?” You pick up the weapon in the leg holster. “Having it under my dress is not ideal.”

“You can use one of my belts,” Ben moves to his closet. He pulsl out one of his belts. He puts it around you. You both laugh seeing the difference in your sizes.

“It will adjust to you,” Ben presses a button on the belt. The belt siding moves till it grip your sides but not too snuggly. You are able to attach your lightsaber to the latch on the side.

“Let’s go now,” Kylo turns to go to the door. You go with him. You go to hold his hand. He moves it out of your grasp.

“What? You’re not going to hold my hand?” You put your hands on your hips frustrated with his lack of intimacy.

“We can’t have people thinking that we are all…lovestruck.”

“And why not? We are married and Snoke knows it. Why shouldn’t the whole First Order know?” 

“It is fine if they know but we don’t have to be…so…obvious with our affections. It’s not becoming of a commander,” Ben pulls the rank card. You can understand what he is saying but it is rather frustrating that your own husband doesn’t want to hold your hand in public.

“Well, I guess we won’t hold hands then,” You concede. Ben opens the door and steps out. You exit after him. He may not hold your hand but he never said anything about other public displays of affection…

The two of you make it to the medical bay where Dr. Ryza stands near the entrance. She knows of your impending arrival. She puts on a smile when you and Kylo approach.

“It is good to see you again, Sly,” Dr. Ryza greets you then looks to Kylo and salutes, “And you, Commander.”

“It is good to see you as well, Dr. Ryza,” You keep it polite.

“Please, follow me,” She turns around. She leads you and Kylo to a private examination room. You see she has an ultrasound machine like the ones you’ve seen previously in other medical offices. She directs you to sit on the examination table as Kylo stands next to it.

“I’m going to have to ask you to step outside, Commander. Doctor-patient confidentiality,” Dr. Ryza tries to have the man leave the room.

“No. I am going to stay.” Kylo refuses.

“Commander, I have to insist. I know she is your apprentice but-”

“She is my wife now. Her health and the health of my children are not to be kept confidential from me,” Kylo does not defer to the doctor’s wishes. Dr. Ryza is not sure what she is more surprised about: the marriage or the twins?”

“Children?” Dr. Ryza’s eyebrow shoots up.

“Yes, the last doctors I saw told me I was having twins,” You speak up.

“We will see then during the ultrasound. But I need to perform a few tests before we have a look,” Dr. Ryza comes toward you. She feels different parts of your body as she asks you of your symptoms. You share with her about your nausea, your breasts’ tenderness, and fatigue. She begins to take your blood pressure.

“How far along did the other doctors say you were?”

“Five weeks but that was last week. So, I guess I’m six weeks now,” You figure up the timeline.

“Hmmm, if you are that far along then these symptoms are normal,” Dr. Ryza informs you. She takes away the blood pressure device and puts it away. She writes down your results before coming back toward you. 

“In this stage you may begin to have mood swings, frequent urination, gas, bloating, and possibly some cramping or spotting. These are not all guaranteed but it could happen. If they do there is no need to be overly concerned. However, if the spotting is more than a few marks, then you must come to me immediately,” Dr. Ryza does not mean to give you any more concern but you have it now.

“So, it is still possible for me to miscarry?” You ask.

“You are in your trimester and in this one you are far more likely to miscarry than in any other but technically you could miscarry or have a stillborn even in your final month of pregnancy,” Dr. Ryza gives the hard truth. Your heart leaps in fear at the news. Dr. Ryza sees you paling.

“But only about 20% or less of women have miscarriages,” Dr. Ryza tries to give you some reassurance and puts her hand on your leg.

“What are the best ways to prevent a miscarriage?” Kylo speaks for the first time since his refusal to leave.

“Well, um, you need to have a nutrient rich diet, keep yourself at a healthy weight, avoid radiation and poisons, exercise moderately, stay hydrated, reduce stress, have some prenatal massages, and have not too rough sex,” Dr. Ryza’s eyes go to Kylo as she knows what sort of marks he has left on you. “These are just some steps to take. But do not live in fear of miscarriage. Again, it is not extremely common.”

You nod your head but you are still concerned. 

“I will write all of this down as well as what foods to eat and specific stretches to help your body in this time. I can perform the prenatal massages as well,” Dr. Ryza offers.

“Thank you,” You go ahead and give your gratitude.

“Now, lay back. We will have a look at the embryos,” Dr. Ryza pats your shoulder. You lay back. Dr. Ryza turns on the machine before grabbing some ointment.

“I need you to lift your dress,” Dr. Ryza point to your clothing. You lift it up above your stomach. Kylo keeps his eyes on the screen and not on your lower half. The ointment is put on the lower section of your abdomen making you shiver. Dr. Ryza grabs the ultrasound wand. She prepares to press it again you. You want to reach for Kylo but you don’t. You keep your hold on your dress instead. Dr. Ryza presses the wand and moves it about to get as clear a picture of your womb as she can.

“Okay, I’m trying to find-oh! There they are,” Dr. Ryza moves the stick in a specific spot. In the screen you can see the odd dark and light lines that are supposed to be your womb. She points to a dark spot on the screen. There are two faint specks of light there. They are bigger than they were in the last ultrasound.

“There’s one and two,” She points out the duo, “I’ll turn on the sound to see if there is a heartbeat.”

Dr. Ryza presses a button on the machine. When she holds the stick over one of the white blobs, you hear in a loud, fast beat in the wateriness. She moves to the other and you hear the other heartbeat. You look away from the screen and over to Ben. You wish you could see his face. Is he happy like you? Is he happy to see his children inside you, alive with hearts beating?

“They look to be the right size for six weeks. Their heartbeats are very strong,” Dr. Ryza moves the stick away silencing the heartbeats. She grabs a towel from a lower part of the machine and wipes off your stomach. You put your dress back down.

“So, they’re fine then?” You sit up.

“As far as I can see. As they grow over the next several months, we will be able to learn more about them,” Dr. Ryza answers.

“When do you think I will have them?” You ask eager to hold your children in your actual arms.

“I would say in eight months but sometimes twins come early,” Dr. Ryza mentally refers to the lessons she learned in medical school.

“That wouldn’t be so bad,” You mumble.

“Well, the earlier they come the more at risk they will be and you as well. Which reminds me, does anyone in your family have a history of miscarriages, stillborns, or hemorrhaging?” Dr. Ryza needs to know the family history.

“I don’t know any of my family history,” You frown.

“Right. Right…” Dr. Ryza remembers your trooper beginnings now. She looks to Kylo. “Do you know any of your family’s medical history, sir?” 

“My grandmother died in childbirth,” Kylo answers.

“She did? Do you know what from?”

“No. But she was having…twins…” Kylo makes a negative connection now in his mind. You and Dr. Ryza can tell where Kylo’s mind is going.

“Well, since Sly is not a blood relation to your grandmother then I’m sure she won’t have a similar fatal end,” Dr. Ryza tries to push some worry away.

You still sense Kylo’s unease.

“I will go write up some dietary plans and exercises. I’ll be right back,” Dr. Ryza excuses herself and leaves the room. With the physician gone, you sit up and look to Ben.

“Ben, I’ll be fine. I won’t end up like Padme,” You reach for his arm. He does not move it from you. He puts his hand on top of yours as it sits on his forearm.

“Padme? Who is Padme?” You realize he doesn’t even know his grandmother’s real name.

“Queen Amidala, your grandmother,” You answer.

“How do you know her name?”

“Anakin told me and I saw her in a vision,” You share the interaction. Ben stays still accepting this newer information. It is strange that he knows so little of his grandmother yet is obsessed with his grandfather. Should you share with Ben more about the woman his grandfather loved so much?

“You know, in the vision, Padme, your grandmother, had your eyes,” You bring up the similarity.

“She did?”

“Yes. When I saw them, they were just like yours. I hope our children will have your eyes,” You bring the attention back to the unborn. His thumb rubs your hand.

“I know our son will have them. He will favor your countenance,” You think of the only child from your personal visions.

“Our daughter will look like you,” Ben surprises you.

“Daughter?” You have never considered the possibility of a daughter.

“Yes. We will have a son and a daughter. I…can feel it,” Ben keeps his hold on you. You smile at the thought of having a son and daughter.

“I hope you are right.”

“I am. I can sense it.”

“Then we will have Anakin and…” You cannot think of a name for the girl.

“We have time to pick a name for her. We just need to focus on keeping you and them healthy,” Ben pushes away the burden of naming the child. You agree to this shift of focus. He brings his hand to your face and hold it tenderly.

Hearing the door open, Ben removes his hands from you. You roll your eyes and his bashful moves in front of the entering Dr. Ryza. She has some papers in her hands. She hands them to you.

“Here. I have detailed some meal plans and exercise routines. If your nausea increases, I can get you medication to help,” Dr. Ryza offers.

“Thank you. My bracelets have been helping me a lot,” You lift your sleeve to show off Han’s gift.

“Pressure point bracelets,” Dr. Ryza is surprised, “Those can be very helpful. I haven’t seen any like these in a long time. Where did you get them?”

You hold your tongue for a second. You still haven’t told Ben the truth of the giver.

“On Naboo,” You answer with just the place.

“Hmm, very good. Now, you should come back in a few weeks and we can see how the twins are developing.”

“No, we will be back next week,” Kylo makes the decision.

“I can understand wanting to check up that often as a new father but unless I detect something wrong, I think we can wait a few weeks in between appointments,” Dr. Ryza gives her preference.

“No. We will come every week,” Kylo does not back down. The woman sighs but agrees. She does not want to go against her commander.

You get off the examination table and with Dr. Ryza’s allowance for you and Kylo leave the room. As you two start to leave Dr. Ryza grabs your arm.

“Oh, I forgot to ask about your bowel movements,” Dr. Ryza makes you blush at the mention of your literal shit.

“Uh, well,” You really don’t want to say in front of Kylo.

“I’ll step outside,” Kylo finally gives you some privacy but takes your papers from your hands. In the room with the door shut you feel more comfortable to tell your doctor the truth.

“Well, it all seems to be normal,” You begin to say.

“Sly,” Dr. Ryza interrupts and takes your hands. She gains a serious look on her relatively young face.

“What is it, Dr. Ryza?”

“If you don’t want these children, I can make it so. We can say that you’ve miscarried. I can perform an abortion and you won’t have to go through this.” Dr. Ryza tries to give you a way out.

“I don’t want an abortion. I want my children,” You state clearly.

“You can be honest with me. Is he forcing you to have these children against your will?”

“No. He is not.”

“He isn’t?” Dr. Ryza seems genuinely surprised.

“He isn’t. _I_ want these children,” You clarify. Dr. Ryza takes a breath.

“Okay then. I’m sorry I stopped you. I just wanted to make sure this is something you want and aren’t just being abused by the First Order,” She surprises you with her slight against the First Order. You’d say nothing of course as you also have issue with the First Order.

“Thank you for your concern, Dr. Ryza.”

“Please, don’t mention this to Commander Ren,” Dr. Ryza makes a sudden plea realizes her offer could land her in very hot water.

“It will be our secret,” You promise. You leave the doctor and find Kylo in the rest of medical bay waiting for you.

“Everything okay?” He asks.

“Yes. Yes. Now, can we eat? I’m very hungry,” You say half-truthfully.

“Yes, let’s go,” He starts off. You stay with him and look behind you to Dr. Ryza. You give her a smile then look ahead again.


	56. The Last Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I’m without my laptop so I wrote this chapter on my phone so there might be some weird autocorrects or something haha. Please, enjoy!

#  **Chapter 56**

Having you fed, Ben intends to take you to train in the woods. Walking in the hallway together you keep a small distance between the two of you as your husband is unsupportive of public displays of affection. You can’t even make it to the elevator before a droid comes to Kylo.

The droid beeps the important message of Kylo’s presence being required for a meeting with General Hux and a few admirals. The droid rolls away having delivered its message. 

“I have to go then. You can go back to our quarters and meditate there,” Kylo points back toward the room from where you just came.

“I can’t go with you?” You frown.

“Not right now. You have been forgiven by Snoke but others are not so forgiving. As much as I want to see Hux have a conniption at me bringing you, this is an important meeting and he needs to be sharp.” Kylo explains. 

“I guess I’ll go meditate then,” you sigh but start back to the room. Kylo gets in the elevator as you reach the room’s door. Just as the elevator closes you realize you don’t have the key. 

“Kylo, wait-“ you turn but his elevator and him are already gone. 

You look at the locked door again. You have three options. 1. You could go after Kylo and get the key from him. 2. You could go find a droid to unlock it. 3. You could use the force. 

You know Kylo would not be pleased at you interrupting his meaning for a key. Finding the proper droid to unlock the door will take too much time. Using the force is the most reasonable option. You raise your hand to open the door. 

“Oh.” You hear the soft expression. You turn your head and see FN-2187 pushing his sanitation cart toward you. You smile seeing your friend. It pleases you to see that he is back holding cleaning supplies instead of a weapon. It is a little strange to be like this as the last time you saw each other he was being ordered to execute you as you were a traitor to the First Order. Now, you stand outside Commander Kylo Ren’s quarters all forgiven and held in a high station despite the betrayal. FN-2187 stands awkwardly not sure of what to do or say.

“Eight-Seven,” you come toward him.

“I can come back later,” he starts to pull the cart back to leave the hall.

“No. Come on. Are you here to clean the room?” You ask beckoning him to you while waving your hand. He pushes the cart toward you and nods. You see him pull out a key to the room. You smile having gotten your access to the room. 

FN-2187 enters the room after you. Suddenly, you become very self conscious about the room. The bed is a mess from this morning’s sexual play. Fortunately, you put up your Naboo dress into Kylo’s closet.

Eight-Seven stands there almost as uncomfortable as you. If you weren’t there, if you weren’t who you were now, he would have gotten work and even asked for your help. But you are there and you are who you are now. You want to know what he is thinking. What does he think of you now?

You focus on him. You focus on entering his mind.

_ What do I do? What do I do? Seven-One is here and her being just confirms what people are saying. I really can’t believe it. I can’t believe that her being an apprentice is really just a cover for her being...Commander Ren’s sex slave. _

You are surprised. He thinks you’re Kylo’s sex slave? He thinks your apprenticeship is just a cover for you being a sex slave?

_ That must be why she left. I can’t imagine being forced to have sex with a monster like Commander Ren. Why did she come back? He must have found her and made her come back. But where is FN-1226? Did he kill her?  _

You want to answer Eight-Seven’s questions and tell him the truth. You want to tell him that you’re not a sex slave. You’re Kylo Ren’s wife. You want to tell him the FN-1226 is alive and is called Jyn. FN-0878 is free as well. But to tell Eigh-Seven these things could give away that you are reading his mind. You also don’t know how happy Kylo would be with you telling Eight-Seven of him freeing your friends for your sake or rather for your ass. But you still want to end this awkwardness and continue being friends with Eight-Seven.

“Eight-Seven,” you speak up.

“Yes?” He straightens up at the call of his number.

“Can you help me make the bed?” You make a move for the bed.

“Uh uh yes!” Eight-Seven heads time the side where Kylo sleeps as you go to your side. He helps you make the bed. You are so glad to see there are no stains on the sheets from this morning’s escapade. 

“How have you been, Eight-Seven?” You inquire after him to break up the silence.

“Um...fine..,” he is unsure how to answer. The shift in your position is strange.

“I’m glad to hear it. It has been some time since we’ve been together,” You remover the last time before last night being when he was among the troopers who boarded the Eravanna. He should have no memory of that as you did the mind trick on him. 

“It has.” He agrees. 

“If you want to take off your helmet you can. Just put it in the desk,” you point to the desk.

“Ummm…” he keeps hesitating.

“Eight-Seven, it’s me. If it’s just us we can be Eight-Seven and Seven-One,” you attempt to put him at ease. 

“But you’re not Seven-One anymore. You’re...Sly.”

“I have a new name, position, and look but I’m still me. I’m still your friend,” you offer a soft smile hoping he will accept your friendship.

Eight-Seven removes his helmet making your smile broaden as this is a sign of his acceptance. He puts it on the desk. You both go to the cleaning cart and take items off to both clean the room.you dust as he sweeps.

“Tell me what you have been up to?” You ask genuinely curious as to what your last close friend on base has done. 

“Nothing exciting. It’s ya who should tell me what you did off base,” Eight-Seven diverts the topic and turns it back on you. You pause in your disting. You bite your lower lip not sure what you want to share-what you can share.

“Well...FN-1226 and I went to Cantonica…” you skip the Dantooine mess. Eight-Seven stays silent and keeps working while waiting to hear more. You don’t want to mention Han or your murder of the Count of Canto Bight. You can’t really mention Poe or the Resistance either. But you know one thing you can mention!

“You won’t believe what I bought there!” You spin around to look at him.

“What?” He looks up at you.

“I found the final two Kade Genti comics!” You squeal. Eight-Seven’s eyes light up at the mention of the comic hero you two love.

“You did!” He comes closer.

“Yes! They cost a lot but I got them!” You keep grinning.

“And what happened?” His ears are hungry for the story. 

“Well…” Your eyes for to the ground. You never got to read them and you left them on Naboo in Jyn’s townhome. 

“You have to tell me, Seven-One!” 

You like him calling you by the name he has always called you. Sadly, you can’t tell him what happened. You don’t have that information.

“Well, I didn’t get to read them...and I left them on Naboo…” you inform him. The excited light starts to leave his eyes.

“Oh...on Naboo? I thought you were on Cantonica?” He points out the change in the planets.

“Well, yeah. I left Cantonica and I fought some space pirates. Then I ended up on Naboo with Two-Six. Commander Ren found me on Naboo an so had to leave my comics behind.”

“Wait. You fought space pirates?” His spark of exient returns to his dark eyes.

“Yes, I fought their captain to the death.”

“No way!” He is impressed. You set the scene for your friend but are sure to cut out Poe and your pregnancy. As you tell him of Asharr and even the brief backstory of your interaction with her on Kessel, you and Eight-Seven sit on your bed. He listens intently. His luscious lips often spread, showing off his brilliantly white teeth. 

Like you, he is displeased when your crew abandons you in Takodana.

“And they just left you?”

“Yes. But it was fine. I met a pilot who took me to Naboo,” you give some hint to Poe.

“What sort of pilot?”

“Oh, just a pilot. You’d have like him. He was very kind, handsome and had a beautiful singing voice,” you think fondly of Poe and remember his tenderness of his voice and the beauty of his smile. Eight-Seven is a bit confused by your flattering description.

“Anyway, we came to Naboo and Two-Six was there! So I stayed with her until the knights of Ren came and Commander Ren came too.” You continue the story.

“I know that you’ve come back but...where is Two-Six?”he finally asks after the other trooper. You know the two were never that close. But there is a sense of family among troopers even if it isn’t the kind of family you want. You know she is fine and happy now. You felt her joy. But you are not sure how to tell him.

“Did Commander Ren...kill her?” He brings up the possible incident.

“No. She is alive. She’s on Naboo. But we won’t see her again,” you know you won’t, at least not till you can convince Ben to leave the First Order. Then maybe…

Eight-Seven just nods his head accepting that Two-Six is alive. 

“Your journey sounds like something straight out of a comic book.” He comments.

“I guess so,” you chuckle.

“It’s too bad you left the Kade Genti comics on Naboo,” he points out the little tragedy.

“It is. I would have loved to have read them with you,” you pat his hand.

“I guess we’ll never know what happened to Kade and Meia,” he sounds so defeated.

You look down to your hands. You see your wrists and the gold bracelet there. You smile remembering the giver. An idea pops into your head.

“I think I know how to get us the comics!” You grin.

“Really? How?” His ebony brow furrows.

“I know someone who could ship it to us. I just need a long distance transmitter,” you voice the need for the object.

“A long distance transmitter?”

“Yes. Could you get me one?” You ask.

“Me? Couldn’t you get one from Commander Ren?” He brings up the more powerful being. You shake your head. You know he would question the reason for your need and deny it as it involves the comic he supposedly hates. 

“I need you to get it for me.” 

“I don’t know, Seven-One...I could get in a lot of trouble if I’m caught.” 

Eight-Seven is right. He could get in a lot of trouble. He doesn’t need to risk his neck for the sake of some comic books. But to get the comic books would mean getting to contact Han. You told the old man that he could be involved in his grandchildren’s lives and he gave you his transmitter code to contact him. If you get a transmitter you can talk to him and bring him closer. Then maybe you can reconnect the father and son as well. 

“You won’t get caught. If you do, tell them it’s for me and if there’s a problem to come to me,” you give him the excuse.

“I don’t know…”

You take his hand and hold it firmly.

“Please, Eight-Seven. I really do need it.” 

He chews on his lower lip as he struggles to deny your pleasing eyes. You are tempted to do another mind trick on him but you really don’t want to make him do something against his will.

“Okay…” he gives in making you smile. You hug him. 

“You have no idea how much this means to me.”

The door slides open. You look beyond Eight-Seven who you still hold. Your breath sticks in your throat. Your husband stands in the doorway watching you embrace a trooper on your bed. You let go of Eight-Seven. 

“It’s not what you think-” You are prepared to explain but you feel the rage and know it is too late. 


	57. Commander Ren's Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! I appreciate them so much. :) Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 57

Sitting in the conference room, Kylo sits utterly bored as General Hux speaks on his initiative to -well, in a truth Kylo does know has he is not listening. Most of the time when the ginger prick speaks, he wants to tune him out and occasionally he does. Kylo’s mind cannot focus on such dull things as how many ships they currently have or where a possible location is for a resistance base. So much has happened in the last couple of days.

Kylo found his apprentice. He married her. He has a _wife_ now. He stood up to Snoke for the first time. He saw the proof of his fatherhood.

Kylo thinks mostly of the visit to Dr. Ryza this morning. He thinks of the machine’s screen showing the darkness and then the light. The two little lights that he knew were his children. And then he heard the heartbeats. His own heart practically stopped when he heard them.

Everything stopped when he heard them. Everything froze then then sped up and turned. He was no longer in the doctor’s office.

Everything is hot. It is sweltering. There is lava everywhere except on the land where he stands. Before him are two young people. The young man Ben knows immediately. It’s his Anakin. It has to be. He looks almost just like Ben himself. His features aren’t as prominent as his own but he can attribute that to your genetic input. Anakin is dressed rather similarly to how Ben once wanted to dress with plain brown boots, navy slacks, a loose black shirt and a navy jacket on top. His brown belt holds a blaster in its holster. Around his neck is a chain with a crystal on it. Ben sees how much the boy’s look holds a similarity to his own father Han.

Beside Anakin is a young woman the same age as Anakin. She bears a strong resemblance to you. Even the shape of her figure is similar to yours as he can see in her black jumpsuit. Her hair has been tied up into four small buns on the back of her head. She has a black belt with a lightsaber attached to it. Ben knows this is his daughter.

Ben cannot hear what they say but he sees that they both draw their weapons. They share a quick hug then separate. They exchange smiles and confident nods. They walk away from Ben. He can feel that they are going to kick ass. Whose? He does not know. He is proud of them though. He is happy as well. So happy to see _his_ children. He doesn’t know why but he is. He wants to follow them but he is frozen again.

Ben was back in the doctor’s office again next to you. The machine was off and her dress was down.

“So, they’re fine then?” You had sat up.

“As far as I can see. As they grow over the next several months, we will be able to learn more about them,” Dr. Ryza answered.

Ben knew they would be. His vision confirmed it. His heart began to beat faster in excitement. He hadn’t been this excited to see someone in person since he found you. How could he not be excited? He had missed you and he had just learned that you were carrying his children. But before you he had years without this level of excitement. That last time was when he was told that his father Han was coming to Skywalker’s temple for his birthday. That was the last time Han came. He hated how unpredictable his rolling stone of a father’s visits had been. He was so unreliable.

With the children still unborn, there is still an uncertainty about when he will meet them. Hearing Dr. Ryza mention the possibility of you miscarrying also gives him concern that he may not meet his children. Meeting them is not necessarily rely on till they are actually born. He could be disappointed just as he had been when Han did not show up. Of course, losing his children would be far more devastating than not seeing his rolling stone of a father.

Ben must make sure that his children are born. Visions are not always reliable. He’s learned that over the years. Some are true and others are not. He must make sure you are careful, that nothing happens to you. He can’t let anyone, not even Snoke, hurt you. Ben cannot let himself hurt you. He must control himself. He can’t let himself lash out at you when he is mad. He hated how you looked at him the last time he forced you to the wall. He hates himself for it as well. He has to control himself for the children’s sake and yours as well. He won’t lose any of you.

But Dr. Ryza also said that he couldn’t be too rough during sex. It is a disheartening request. He loves the way you moan and gasp when he is rough. He loves feeling the power you give him over your body to pleasure himself as he sees fit and to pleasure you. There is nothing like the sensation of your sopping wet walls clenching around him as you cum. There is no taste sweeter than the tie still held between your mouth and your cunt. There is no sound better than your voice especially when it is saying his name.

He cannot wait to go back to your quarters and fuck you. He had to wait this morning but once he is freed of the meeting, he will have time to properly dick you down and hold each other afterwards.

Ben blushes finding himself thinking of the rather strange desire he has to simply hold you especially post sex. But he loves to feel your soft body against him when neither of you wants anything more than just to be held by the other. Of course, no one can ever know this. Commander Kylo Ren can’t be known to like cuddling. Such a thing must remain a secret.

“Am I boring you, Commander Ren?” General Hux brings Kylo back to the meeting.

“I see you are becoming more self-aware, General Hux,” Kylo snaps making the general’s face sour. Ben smirks beneath his mask at the reaction. The present admirals press their lips to keep themselves from chuckling at the remark.

“I motion to adjourn this meeting till this afternoon when Supreme Leader Snoke is able to join us,” Admiral Hoit stands up.

“I second,” Kylo stands up as well.

“But-” Hux begins to protest but the others in the room stand up wanting to end the meeting as well. The motion passes and everyone begins to leave. Kylo waits a moment letting the others out though he has the urge to run pass them to you. That wouldn’t be fitting for him though. He can never seem excited in front of these people. That’s only for you to see.

“Ren,” Hux blocks the door when Kylo makes his attempt to finally leave.

“What?”

“I know you think that with your mask on that no one can tell if you’re paying attention or not, but I can. As much as I don’t care if you are present or not for these meetings, Supreme Leader Snoke says I must have your agreement for this task. So, I would appreciate it if you would actually listen during our next meeting,” Hux calls Kylo out on his lack of attention. Kylo would be impressed that the General could tell that he lacked focus but since it is Hux, Kylo doesn’t really give a damn. Kylo doesn’t even want to take the time to dignify Hux’s comments. Seeing Kylo starting to move to pass him Hux grows more irritated with the lack of Kylo’s reaction.

“I will see you at the meeting this afternoon,” Kylo simply says, “Enjoy your break.”

Kylo makes it through the door way as Hux stands still inside the conference room.

“Enjoy fucking your whore,” Hux comments under his breath. Kylo turns on his heel.

“What did you just say?” Kylo uses the force to grab Hux by the throat. Hux grows even paler than usual realizing that the Commander heard his snide comment. He grabs at his own throat feeling the pressure there.

“Nothing, sir,” Hux chokes out. Kylo replaces the force with his own hand and draws to him so their face and mask are close.

“Don’t ever refer to my _wife_ as that again.” Kylo orders.

“Wife?” Hux’s eyes bulge more. Kylo drops the general to floor. He lands on his backside.

“Sly is my wife now. You will refer to her as Lady Ren. I will see you in the afternoon,” Kylo turns back around to leave.

Hux watches Kylo walk away. Hux cannot believe what Kylo just said. He has married the former trooper?

Kylo is livid over Hux’s remark about his wife. _His wife_! Granted, Hux did not know that he had married you but still! No one is to call his wife a whore. You are far from it. He knows this. You have only ever been with him. You have only loved him. You vowed to be his faithful lover till death. Of course, he will not death ever come between the two of you. He’s heard of the secrets the Sith have learned of such things. That’s not important right now. What is important now is to find his faithful, loving wife and fuck your brains out…gently.

He reaches the door to his quarters. He unlocks and has it slide open. He stops in the doorway. There on his bed sits his wife in the arms of a trooper. He senses the happiness you feel. You feel it because of this-this boy.

The boy is happy but uneasy. As he should be. How dare this boy hold you? How dare he be the quarters of his superior and embrace his wife? He is just a trooper. He is nothing and yet he dares to act this way.

Kylo knows that there is love here but not the kind between you and him. In his mind he knows the two of you are friends, just friends. Still he cannot abide this. Troopers can’t just think that because you rose up from your position that they can have the confidence to do whatever they please. They have to know their place.

Kylo sees you see him. You pull away from the trooper and open your mouth. You speak but he doesn’t hear it. How can he hear it over the blood raging in his ears? His anger gushes through every fiber of his being. He is going to teach this boy his place. And you… he’s going to have to teach you yours.

Eight-Seven’s body is ripped from the bed and he is slammed against the wall.

“Eight-Seven!” You gasp at the poor boy who didn’t even know what had happened. You go to help him but Kylo grabs your wrist.

Eight-Seven’s terrified eyes dart from you to Kylo. He doesn’t know whether to stand up and salute or stay down and bow before him for mercy. Eight-Seven knows that his commander must have thought he was fooling around with his sex slave. He wasn’t though.

“Don’t hurt him,” You pull out of Kylo’s grasp. “We were just hugging.”

“He must be reminded of his place,” Kylo hisses and raises his hand. He raises Eight-Seven with it. The trooper loses his breath as Kylo’s hand squeezes it from afar. 

“Stop! He knows his place. I am the one who overstepped! Don’t punish him because of me,” You pull of Kylo’s arm. Kylo looks to you then back to the trooper who can no longer breathe.

“You will never come into this room alone with her again.” Kylo orders the trooper.

“Stop it!” You demand once more. Kylo drops Eight-Seven to the floor. You run to your friend. You hear him breathing again but he is unconscious from the choking. You look up to Kylo with a glare.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Me? What is wrong with me? I come in here and find you in the arms of another man and you expect me not to act?” Kylo replies.

“He is just my friend. You know that! You’ve seen it in my memories!” You stay with Eight-Seven.

“I know he was your friend but he must remember his place here. And you need to remember yours. You can’t bring whoever you want into our room and onto our bed. No one else is welcome here but you and I.” Kylo sets the new rules of the room.

“Okay, but you didn’t have to hurt him,” You summon a pillow from the bed. You put it under Eight-Seven’s head.

“He’s fine. He had to be taught a lesson and now he knows never to come here again,” Kylo will not apologize for his actions. You stand up still displeased from what has happened.

“He came in here to clean,” You point to the cleaning cart.

“I can understand that but you are not to associate with him especially here. You are my wife now. He is far beneath you,” Kylo brings up your new role.

“That may be so, but he is still my friend. I won’t give up my friendship with him just because I’m your wife,” You stand your ground.

“You won’t?” Kylo dislikes your refusal.

“No. But-” You know you have to compromise a little or Kylo may do worse to Eight-Seven. “I will not meet him alone here anymore and I will restrain myself from being overly affectionate with him. Okay?”

“I suppose I can…accept that,” Kylo gives in a little, “But-”

Kylo’s “but” makes your stomach turn nervously.

“But what?”

“But…your actions today are unacceptable and now…you must be punished.”

Punished. You haven’t heard him tell you that you needed that in quite a while. You the corners of lip twitch a bit excited. You know exactly what it means to be “punished”.

“I understand, sir. But first, let me take FN-2187 out of the room,” You got to pick up your friend.

“Leave him. He is unconscious after all,” Kylo orders.

“But-”

“Do not disobey me further. Get on the bed and then get on all fours,” Kylo continues to boss you around. You look to Fn-2187. He is a sleep, but still…you don’t want him to wake and see you and Kylo engaging in your punishment game. You come to the bed but you hesitate to get on the bed.

“Sir, I…I think he should be moved to the hall first. I don’t want him to wake and see,” You state again.

“If you don’t want to see then you need to hurry and obey my orders,” Kylo will not give into your want for Eight-Seven to leave the room. But he is right. If you two hurry, it can all be over before Eight-Seven wakes.

You get on the bed on your hands and knees. You look back at Kylo who stands behind you. He his hands go to your wait and removes your belt. He detaches your lightsaber and tosses it to the desk. He grabs your right arm and bends it behind you then grabs your left and bends it as well. He positions your right forearms above your left one then uses your belt to tie them together. He lets you go allowing you fall over with your cheek pressing against the bed and your lower half staying high in the air. You face the side where Eight-Seven lays on the floor. You turn your head to look away.

“Turn your face back,” Kylo notices the change. You do as you are told. Your cheeks redden though. You hope Eight-Seven doesn’t wake.

Kylo grabs the hem of your dress. He pulls it up and throws it on your slanted back thus exposing your backside and womanhood. You hear his breath become a bit heavier behind his mask as he stares at you. Knowing that he likes the view and still being unsure about how he is going to punish you excited you. You squirm at the known fact and the unknown possibilities.

“Look at you squirm. Do you want your punishment that much?” He mocks you.

“Yes, sir. Teach me my place,” You wiggle on purpose knowing he’ll like how it shakes your ass. He keeps his gloves on as his hands hover over your backside. He moves his hands away and steps back from the bed. You don’t understand. Why isn’t he acting on you?

Kylo walks over to Eight-Seven. Your eyes do not blink as you watch him go through Eight-Seven’s utility belt. You see he opens the compartment holding the collapsible baton that troopers are given as a non-lethal weapon. You begin to shiver as Kylo makes it expand. He comes behind you with the baton.

He presses the tip of the baton into your right buttock. He drags it from the right cheek and over to the left. You shift uncomfortably dreading the strike of the baton.

“Are you going to bring random men back to our room anymore?” Kylo asks then flicks his wrist making the baton strike your left buttock. You whine at the hit.

“No, sir,” You answer. But you would argue you didn’t bring a random man to the room. You know better than to bring that up though.

“Are you going to show lower level troopers like him or anyone else more affection that your own husband?” Kylo sends a blow to your right cheek. You grunt at the hit.

“I’ve never shown anyone as much affection as I’ve shown you and you’re the one who doesn’t want public displays of affection,” You will not keep from arguing that fact. He swats your cheek again.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“No. I won’t show lower level troopers like him or anyone else more affection than my own, husband. Sir,” You huff.

“Are you going to obey me the next time I tell you to go to the room and meditate?” he hits your left buttock.

“Yes, sir,” You whimper. You hear him drop the baton. He gets on the bed on his knees. He bends himself over you keeping you in your vulnerable position. He brings his mouth guard to your ear.

“Are you going to still going to love me even when I punish you like this? Even if I do disgustingly depraved things to you? Even if I don’t put our love on display in front of everyone?” His questions surprise you.

“Of course….sir,” You answer. He gets off you but stays behind you. You hear him open his pants. You feel his hot, hard self spring forth and touch you.

“Do you want me to fuck you senseless?” He asks.

“Yes, sir,” You start to lean back against him. He puts a hand to your eagerness blocking his cock to your entrance. His still gloves middle finger rubs over your slit then presses it inside. He stirs it inside you making you whine. You want more than his finger.

“Dr. Ryza says I can’t. I can’t be rough with you,” He slips a second finger inside you.

“Yet, you spanked me…sir. You’ve already broken Dr. Ryza’s instruction,” You bring up his “rough” action. Even with the second finger pushed inside you all the way to his knuckle, you want more.

“Yes. I guess I have. Do you want me to keep breaking her rules?” He starts to add his third finger. But it sits partially inside as he waits for your answer.

“Only if you’re going to use your cock, sir,” You voice what you want. He pulls his fingers out of you. He pus his hand on your hip. You feel the wetness of gloves that has come from your juice covering them.

“I don’t know. Dr. Ryza will be very displeased,” he keeps his hand on your hip and his penis away from you. You know he is teasing you. You know he wants to fuck you too but he won’t. At least, he won’t yet. He has to get what he wants first.

“Then just be careful. I know you can be. Please, sir,” You begin to beg. He loves it when you beg.

“Please, what? Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” He starts to bring himself closer. You feel his tip at your lady’s lips.

“Please, I want you to fuck me. I want you to fuck me senseless and safely with your cock not your fingers,” You whine.

“You do?”

“Yes, please, sir,” You are desperate. Even with your back to him and with his mask on, you can literally feel him smirking.

Kylo pushes his hips forward. You revel feeling him stretch you as he enters. He keeps pushing in till he balls deep. You love it. He pulls out gradually before pushing back in fully. Though at the angle and with his deliberate full insertion he reaches your deepest spots, you find his pace agonizingly slow. You try to rock your hips to make him go faster. He grips your hips making them still. He tuts at you.

“Use your words,” He encourages.

“Faster,” You groan.

“Faster what?”

“Please, move faster, sir,” You say it properly. He obliges. He rocks his hip to a quicker rhythm. He is still able to savor the feel of you around him while also creating more friction by increasing his speed. Your body rocks with his movements. You moan loudly as he hits your sweet spots. You see Eight-Seven stirring. You don’t want to wake him with your moans. You bite at the sheets. It does not do much to quiet your moans.

“He’s waking up, isn’t he?” Kylo notices the little stirring of the trooper. You bite the sheets even harder. But you nod your head hoping this will make Kylo hurry and finish before Eight-Seven wakes.

“I think,” Kylo picks you up. He sits back on his ankles. He makes you sit up. He leans you against his chest. One of his hands goes to your sternum keep you up. His other stay around your waist. He Turns the two of you on the bed. You gasp when he makes you face where Eight-Seven lies. Having reach this spot. He moves his arms one at a time to go beneath your knees. Your feet sit on the bed but his hands make your legs spread wide. He has also tucked your dress to be behind you but leaving you fully visible. Like this nothing will be hidden from Eight-Seven should he wake. He will have a full view of Kylo’s cock going in and out of you. 

“We should give him a show,” He finishes his sentence with wickedness clearly evident in his voice.

“Kylo,” You hiss in a whisper but wanting yell at the fear of waking Eight-Seven. “We cannot!”

“We can.”

“No. I don’t want him to see,” You are turning red.

“Don’t lie. Doesn’t it turn you on at the possibility of someone seeing you experiencing the ultimate pleasure? Don’t you want to show him that despite the rumors, you want to be here, you want me to fuck you? Don’t you want him to see you love getting fuck by me?” Kylo whispers through his mask to your ear. It would clear up Eight-Seven’s idea that you are unwilling sex slave but then again seeing you bound and fucked might only enforce it more.

“No. I don’t want him to see, Ben. Not him. Anyone but him. Please, don’t let him see,” You plead. Kylo doesn’t speak or answer. Instead his thrusts become stronger. You bite your lower lip trying to hold in your cries of pleasure.

“Come on. Scream for me. Scream out my name when you cum. Come on,” You hear Kylo ordering knowing you are growing closer. You shake your head resisting the urge You can’t let Eight-Seven hear or wake.

Kylo grunts as he begins to turn. He undoes you’re your bindings. He pulls you off of him and makes you go onto you back. He spread yours legs again and reenters you. Kylo leans down. Your arms go around him as you like them to as it keeps him close to you.

“He won’t see now. Cum for me. Cum for me and scream my name,” Kylo pressures you and finds your clit. You know you are nearing your climax. You want to cum and scream his name. You want to please him. But you’re scared.

Kylo grabs the pillow from above your head. He throws it over the bed and onto Eight-Seven’s face. He lies there covering his face but not obstructing his air flow. The trooper does not move.

“He’s not going to see. He’s not going to see,” Kylo insists. Seeing that Eight-Seven is truly shielded you feel far more comfortable. You still don’t want him to hear but you think much more about it. The way Kylo hits your depths and teases your clit is almost unbearable. Your toes twitch as does Kylo’s cock. He is close too.

“Cum for me, sweetheart. Cum for me,” His voice is strained behind his mask.

“Ben. Ben. Ben!” You cry out with toes curling and orgasm hitting. You cling to Kylo as you cum. Your name is repeated by Kylo as he too finishes. You both pant as you two wait to come back down from the high. You pull Ben down and kiss the mouth guard as his lips are covered.

In all honesty, Ben wants to just lie down and hold you close. He’s wanted to do that for a while but he can’t now. He has to get rid of the trooper. Ben gets off of you and pulls down your dress to cover your semen filled pussy. He tucks himself away. He gets off the bed and removes the pillow from Eight-Seven’s face. He throws the pillow back on the bed. He picks Eight-Seven up by his breastplate. He drags him out of the room and into the hall. He pushes the cart out to be next to the trooper propped up against the wall facing the doorway. He goes back in once more to get Eight-Seven’s helmet and the baton. He puts the helmet on the trooper and the baton on Eight-Seven’s lap before returning to his room and closing the door. He takes off his mask and gets back on the bed with you.

Ben pulls you close to him. You still breathe heavily from the intimacy. He just holds you close to him. You close your eyes as he holds you. You take in his scent as he inhales yours.

“I should probably rinse off,” You murmur.

“No. Just stay here with me for now,” He won’t let you go.

“Okay,” You smile against his shirt. You are more than happy to stay in his embrace. You still can’t believe he fucked in front of Eight-Seven’s unconscious body. You hope he doesn’t try that again. But you have to admit to yourself it was rather thrilling. You won’t tell Ben though. You don’t want to encourage such behavior.

Ben calls your name and your attention. You look to his face.

“What is it, Ben?” You ask. He brushes some of your hair from your face.

“I’m sorry if I upset you. I was upset seeing you with him. And I wanted him to see us together. I shouldn’t have made you so scared,” His apology comes off sincere and his voice is gentle.

“I’m okay, Ben. I understand that now with this new role I don’t fully belong to myself. I am representation of more than myself. I am an extension of you. I don’t want to embarrass you, undermine you or decrease your authority here to others,” You see Ben’s eyes gain surprise. You are surprised yourself but you know you are right. But you continue.

“But you have to trust me. I know I’ll make a few mistakes but still trust me. I know how to care for myself. And I will never betray you.”

“I know. I do trust you. It’s the others that I don’t trust.”

“I can understand that. In these times it is hard to know who is our ally and who is our enemy.” You think of Snoke in particular. You see Ben thinks of someone but you are not sure if it is the same person as you.

“But we are allies. I love you. I’ll choose you over everyone here, every time. So, you don’t have to fuck me in front of someone else to prove that to yourself and to them. Okay?”

Ben is pleased by these words.

“Okay.” He pauses. “But what if I want to fuck you in front others just for the sake of fucking you?”

“Ben! No!” You flush and smack his chest. He laughs at your flustered expression.

“Okay. Okay,” He calms down. He draws you closer. “I’ll do my best not to get carried away in front of an audience. But I can’t promise anything.”

You roll your eyes but you sense he is joking.

“I’m sure if you put your mind to it, you can succeed,” You encourage him. He smirks and keeps holding you. He presses his face into the top of your head. He mumbles something but you can’t hear him.

“What did you say?” You ask.

“Nothing. Nothing,” he shakes his head. You would try to figure it out but honestly, you’re tired. Pregnancy is fatiguing and so is getting railed by your husband.

“I might fall asleep, Ben. Will you keep holding me?” You ask.

“Yes. I’ll hold you till I have to leave for my next meeting,” He promises. You cuddle closer to him and enjoy his warmth. His arms are so comforting. You rest peacefully in them. As you begin to sleep, Ben doesn’t let you go. He enjoys the burden of being your personal body pillow. Finally, he can embrace his secret interest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone concerned about Finn he is ok! He’s just snoozing in the hallway. Haha


	58. Transmitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thanks so much for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 58

Eight-Seven wakes in the hallway completely disoriented. His throat aches and he isn’t quite sure why. Why is baton open and on his lap? How did he end up on the ground in the hall? He goes to touch his aching throat. In an instant it all comes back to him.

“You will never come into this room alone with her again.” Commander gave the command as Eight-Seven struggled to breathe. Eight-Seven shudders thinking of how he almost died. He still doesn’t know why his baton is out but he collapses it and puts I back away in his utility belt. He holds on to his cleaning cart as he gets up from the floor.

Eight-Seven looks at the door that leads into Commander Ren’s room. He is disheartened by the fact that you are still inside there. He heard you begging Commander Ren to stop when he was being choked. He hates to think what horrible things Commander Ren must do to you. Does he choke you like that when you make a mistake? Or does he just rape you? He doesn’t know which is worse.

Eight-Seven’s stomach tightens at the possibility that his presence in the room may have led to more harm toward you. He should have refused to stay alone with you. He has endangered you by doing so. Eight-Seven hangs his head ashamed of himself.

Now, Eight-Seven rethinks his promise to you. Getting a long distance transmitter will only cause more problems if he gives it to you. If he is caught you said to tell who ever catches him to say it is for you. But he can’t snitch on you like that or you will be hurt and all because you two want to reads some comics. He doesn’t want that. But then again what if you asking for the transmitter isn’t really for the Kade Genti comics? What if you are actually trying to get the transmitter to contact that pilot who you traveled with for a short while. You didn’t say it but Eight-Seven has a sense that maybe the pilot was a smuggler or a Resistance member. Do you really need the transmitter in order to make contact and escape from here, from Kylo Ren? Is him getting a transmitter going to help you escape? If he were being forced to be Kylo Ren’s sex slave, he too would want help escaping Starkiller base. He probably would ask you for help as well as he knows you never snitch on your friends. He remembers what you did for FN-1226.

“I’ll do it,” He tells himself. He will get you the transmitter and if he is caught, he will take the punishment, not you.

Eight-Seven pushes his cleaning cart away. He must finish his tasks and then he will find one. He will find you a long-distance transmitter.

* * *

Satisfied, Kylo attends his afternoon meeting with a clear mind. He focuses on the topics brought up by General Hux to the other admirals and Supreme Leader Snoke. The expansion of the First Order into the Outer Rim planets via colonizing them, is the true purpose of the meeting. General Hux makes a passionate case to send himself as an envoy to many of the Outer Rim Planets to bring them into the First Order.

Such an endeavor would increase the power of the First Order. Kylo knows though that General Hux only desires to take this position as a way to increase his own personal allies. In doing so, Hux can gain more power and when he does decide to stab Snoke in the back like he did his own father, he will have support. Kylo despises his power-hungry colleague. Kylo himself is eager for power and knows that when Snoke does inevitably die, he will take the spot at Supreme Leader. But unlike Hux, Kylo has no intention on betraying his master to gain the higher position. But he knows that once he is Supreme Leader, if Hux has not gotten himself killed, Hux will betray him. Kylo has long sensed Hux’s true loyalty is only to himself. Even though Kylo has told Snoke this, Snoke still does nothing to General Hux.

“And you believe that you are the best fit to negotiate with these outer rim planets?” Snoke asks the young general.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” The redhead nods gaining a confident smile.

“And what do you think?” Snoke looks to the others at the table. Hoping to please their leader, the admirals voice their agreement with General Hux to send him away. Snoke’s pale eyes go to Kylo who has remained silent.

“What do you think, Commander Ren?” Snoke asks. His face remains neutral as he asks.

“I believe that General Hux’s idea for expansion through personal negotiation instead of fighting is a great idea,” Kylo’s answer makes General Hux smirk.

HUx is surprised at Kylo’s support. ‘Maybe Kylo isn’t absolute ass after all?’ Is the thought that crosses Hux’s mind.

“But I believe the General Hux is far too inexperienced in negotiating to be successful,” Kylo makes Hux frown and lose any positive thoughts he once had about Kylo.

“Hmmm,” Snoke takes in the words of his apprentice. General Hux tenses displeased at the possibility he will lose out on this opportunity and all because of Kylo.

“Well, I am sure that with you accompanying him, he will be very successful, Kylo,” Snoke decides.

“Huh?” Both Kylo and Hux are shocked by the pairing.

“You will accompany General Hux to the Outer Rim Planets,” Snoke decides and stands up making everyone else stands.

“Supreme Leader, I can do this mission on my own. I don’t need Commander Ren,” General Hux protests.

“I have faith in you, General Hux, but I think having Commander Ren with you will be most beneficial,” Snoke does not change his mind. Kylo frowns behind his mask. Going on this Outer Rim tour will take weeks due to the number of planets Hux has listed to visit. It will be weeks of being stuck with this pompous brat of a general. They will be able to travel on the Finalizer though so he could get some space from the prick but not enough. And what about his wife? Will he be forced to be apart from his wife with who he has only recently reunited? He will miss out on many of the doctor’s appointments by being on this mission.

Snoke dismisses the meeting but stays in the room. Again, Kylo waits to be the last to leave besides the Supreme Leader.

“Kylo, stay a moment,” Snoke calls to his student. Kylo stays in his place. Snoke walks around the large table to come to his apprentice’s side.

“What is it, Supreme Leader?”

“I know you are displeased to be going with General Hux, but this will help the First Order. It will also give you more face time with our future subordinates,” Snoke explains some to Kylo.

“I understand. It is a great opportunity,” Kylo tries not give away his annoyance with the assignment.

“I could sense your concern in the meeting about the length of this endeavor,” Snoke is not ignorant to Kylo’s feelings. “I assume it is your desire to stay here with your new wife that hinders you.”

Kylo swallows at the mention of you by Snoke.

“I will allow you to take Sly with you on this journey. It will be good for you to continue her training and keep a close eye on her. I’d hate for her to become lonely and slip away again,” Snoke proposes the possibility of your defection should the two of you be separated again. Even if Snoke thinks you might runaway, Kylo doesn’t care. He is simply pleased that now he will be able to take you with him.

“I will inform her of the trip, Supreme Leader.”

“Good. Go. Tell her now. You all leave in the morning,” Snoke waves Kylo away. The young Commander leaves the room and begins back toward his now shared quarters.

* * *

Pushing his cart closer to the tech storage room, FN-2187 looks both way down the hall. His skin is prickled beneath his armor the closer he comes to the room. His forehead perspires. He knows that what he is about to do could get him sent to reconditioning if he is caught. But this is all to help his friend.

Eight-Seven reaches the door and positions the cart so he is sandwiched between the cart and the door. He pulls out the access key. His hand shakes as he does. He his breath is becomes unnervingly ragged. Fear eats at him. He has heard of what they do at reconditioning. He already hates training. How will he do in reconditioning?

“Come, Eight-Seven! What would Kade Genti do?” He asks himself. He straightens up. He knows what Kade Genti would do. He would stroll into the tech storage room, take the long-distance transmitter and take it right to Seven-One. Kade Genti would probably steal a kiss for compensation but Eight-Seven could not do that, especially with Seven-One. Still, she is his friend and getting her this will help her. He must grow some balls and do it!

Eight-Seven unlocks the door and slips inside. No one else is in the room. Why would they be? No one hardly ever comes to the tech storage room. He flips on the light and begins to look at the numerous rows of shelves covered in tech pieces. He does not want to linger too long in the room in case someone comes in but it is hard to find a personal long distance transmitter.

Eight-Seven passes a seventh row without any luck. He sighs to himself his eyes growing tired from scanning every single piece of equipment he can find. Why does the item he wants have to be so elusive?

“Ah ha!” He exclaims as his eyes land on the object of his desire. He reaches to the back of the shelf where it is nestled among personal local transmitters. He can tell that is long distance by the larger size. Grabbing ahold of the handheld device, he looks at it. He checks it for any signs of damage.

“Good. Good,” He smiles and tucks the transmitter into his utility belt. He begins heading back toward the door.

“What is this cart doing here?” Eight-Seven stops hearing a voice outside.

“Yeah. Shouldn’t there be a droid or sanitation worker with this?” Another asks.

Eight-Seven’s confidence slips away. He stands frozen waiting for the speakers to walk away so he can exit unnoticed.

“I guess we need to report an abandoned cart,” The first voice reasons.

Eight-Seven knows this will get him in trouble as he was assigned to sanitation. He has to prevent a report.

“Oh! Hi,” Eight-Seven pretends to be surprised when he exits the tech storage room. He sees the two speakers are GX-9801 and GX-9802. 

“Oh, FN-2817, what are you doing in the storage room?” GX-9801 asks.

“I was cleaning in there,” Eight-Seven lies.

“Oh, okay,” GX-9801 and GX-9802 both accept it with no problem.

“I’ll see you guys around.” Eight-Seven quickly grabs his cart and pushes as fast as he can from the other troopers who turn down a different hallway. They literally do not give Eight-Seven a second thought.

Eight-Seven’s heart still pounds in his chest at the close call. He knows he will not be able to rest till he can get the transmitter out of his utility belt and into your hands. He shoots up the elevator to the floor where Commander Ren’s quarters are. He pushes the cart slower now as he approaches the room. He takes several breathes. His throat still hurts.

“You will never come into this room alone with her again.” The order comes back to Eight-Seven’s mind as he reaches the door. He knows he is not supposed to be anywhere near this room when you are alone. But he cannot come here to you when Commander Ren is there. He cannot know about the transmitter. How is he going to give it to you?

“Hmm,” Eight-Seven thinks of loop of hole. He walks to the door and knocks lightly. He prays that Commander Ren is not in the room.

The door slides open. Eight-Seven eases seeing you alone at the door. You smile at him. You do not leave the room, but you do not make any gesture to call Eight-Seven inside. You both know that cannot happen.

“Eight-Seven, I’m so sorry about earlier,” You apologize reliving the choking in your mind.

“It’s not your fault,” He does not want you to feel bad. But you still believe it is. If it were not for you Kylo would not have cared who Eight-Seven was hugging.

“Are you okay though?” You check.

“My throat hurts but I’m fine.”

“Good. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he had killed you,” You touch his shoulder.

“I’m alive and well. So, don’t worry about me.” Eight-Seven still tries to make you relax. He starts rummaging in his utility belt. “I got this for you.”

“Got what?” You look to his hand. He pulls out the personal long-distance transmitter. You smile.

“I found it in the tech storage room,” He puts in your hands, “I didn’t see any damage so it should work.”

“Thank you, Eight-Seven,” You go to hug him but stop yourself. You told Kylo that you would not be overly affectionate with him. Instead you squeeze his hands.

“I have to go now. I’m really behind on my cleaning schedule,” Eight-Seven pulls his hands from yours.

“I understand. I’ll let you know when I get the comics,” You smile not forgetting why he got you this. He nods his head and pushes the cart away. He disappears around the corner and you go back into the room. You sit down on the bed where your clothing wardrobe lays from when a droid brought it to you. You do not care about the dresses as your eyes are fixated on the transmitter.

You cannot believe Eight-Seven got it for you. But you are glad he did. Now you can reach Han. You can begin taking the steps to reconnect Han and Ben. You have to hide for now though. You are not sure where to hide it though…


	59. I'm Not Cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!  
> Warning: In the second half of this chapter there are some references to previous childhood abuse.

# Chapter 59

The door slides open. You quickly tuck the transmitter behind you under one of your dresses. You smile seeing Kylo enter the room. He takes of his helmet once the door shuts.

“How was your meeting?” You ask immediately. Ben exhales and comes to the bed. He lies down flat on his back and looks to the ceiling.

“Was it that bad?” You ask turning to face him. You shift the transmitter as well, so it won’t draw his attention. Ben closes his eyes and rubs his forehead.

“Snoke has assigned me to travel with Hux to outer rim planets to bring them under the First Order for the next few weeks.”

“Oh, wow…weeks…” Your lips go together to make a line.

“I really can’t stand Hux. I don’t know how I’ll put up with him,” Ben groans.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just don’t let him get to you. If he really gets on your nerves then you can just force choke him,” You half-joke as you start to lay down next him.

“I’d like to but Snoke wouldn’t be pleased with me,” Ben opens his eyes to glance at you from the side.

“I would be,” you smirk and drape your arm over him and wiggles closer to him. Ben smirks as well. He wraps his arm around you pulling you closer.

“How long are you really going to be gone?” You ask thinking of the possible separation.

“I don’t know…But I do know that you are coming with me.”

“I am?” You grin and shoot up excitedly.

“Yes. Snoke said so himself. You will not leave my side,” Ben is pleased with your excitement.

“Oh, good! I was worried we’d have to be apart again. I hate when we are apart,” You hug him as you get on top of him. He wraps his arms around you to keep you against him.

“I do too.” He strokes your hair.

“When do we leave?” you ask.

“Tomorrow morning. So, we’ll need to pack at some point tonight.”

“We should pack now!” You push off him. You are not sure why, but you are kind of excited that you will be able to go on a trip with Ben. You try to think of the trip that lovers go on after they marry. What is it called? A Mallow moon? A Sweetweed moon? A sweet moon? A syrup moon? You cannot think of the proper term but this is sort of like one, right?

“I just realized I don’t have luggage to pack things in…” You stop standing and staring at your bed full of clothes. Ben gets off your clothes.

“You can just pack your items with mine,” Ben bends down and pulls out a trunk from beneath the bed. You had no idea it was underneath there. He opens it up to show the trunk is empty. He moves to his closet and begins to take out the copies of his everyday clothes. As he does, you fold up your newly brought clothing. As you stack them you turn your eye to Ben. When his back is to you, you slip the transmitter in between the items. You put them in the trunk. You feel more at ease with it hidden away more securely. Ben puts his items in after you. Ben goes into the bathroom and returns with arms full of bacta ointment and toiletries. He arranges them in the trunk very meticulously. It is rather funny to see the feared commander being so delicate in arranging hair products, soaps, and ointments. He goes to his Vader room. He comes out with the deformed helmet. Delicately he places it in the trunk. You sit on the bed watching him.

“What?” he looks up and closes the trunk’s lid.

“You’re so cute,” You comments.

“Cute? I’ve told you before that I am not cute.” He stands up.

“But you are. You’re very, very cute,” You giggle. He comes to the edge of the bed. His knees goes between here your legs hang off the bed. He leans down bringing his face close to yours.

“I’m not cute,” He glares. You put your hands on his face.

“Yes, you are. You are so cute,” You press your lips on his. His hand goes to the back of your head and yanks on your hair pulling you mouth away from his. You gasp at the action.

“I am not cute,” He growls. He really dislikes this adjective. You like it though even if the grip in your hair is slightly painful.

“Yes, you are.”

Ben lets go of your hair. His hand moves to your jaw. He pushes you down by you jaw onto your back. His hand slides down from your jaw to your neck then to the collar of your dress. With one swift motion, he tears the dress exposing your chest to him. You yelp at the ruination of you dress. 

“My dress,” You lament the loss of another dress.

“Not so cute now, am I?” He chuckles darkly. You will not let him get off so easily.

“No, you’re still cute. Trying hard like this to disprove it just makes you even cuter in my eyes,” You watch him purse his lips. He stands up while you stay down with your torn dress not covering any part of your front. You watch him take the ripped fabric and rip it more. You are confused by him.

“I guess I have to fix that problem then,” Ben drops two parts of the torn fabric on the bed before leaning down with the other third. 

“What are you-” You start to ask but he answers you by tying the cloth over your eyes. This is solution to your eyes finding him cute. You do not like the covering.

“Ben, wait, I-” You start to grab for the makeshift blindfold. He grabs your wrist.

“What? Am I not cute anymore?” he asks. You know if you agree he might uncover your eyes but that is not how you want to play this game.

“No. You’re still cute even like this. Your efforts are so cute,” You keep up. He keeps a hold on your wrist then uses his other hand to grab your ankle. He bends your leg and pushes you knee up with your wrist and ankle are next to each other. He is able to hold your wrist and ankle together with one of his massive hands as he grabs something. You feel the fabric of one of the torn pieces being wrapped around your wrist and ankle. He ties it tight but not so tight that you lose blood flow. He goes to the other side and copies the action with the last piece of fabric. You bite your lower lip knowing that in this position that you are fully exposed to your husband and you are unable to use your legs or and hands. The thrill of being completely at his mercy is exciting. You wonder what he will do next. Will he finger you? Eat you out? Just start fucking you straight away? You have no idea. You cannot see him after all.

The waiting is killing you. You want to know what he is going to do to you. What is he going to do? What is he going to do?

You hear the door open and close. You are confused. Did Ben just leave the room? Did he really just leave you tied up in the room?

“Ben? Ben, are you still here?” You ask.

There is no answer.

“Ben!” You yell out hoping that maybe the door you heard is the bathroom door and he will come right back into you. There is no response. You scowl. Now, you know you need to use the force. You can use it to see if he is out there like you did that time in training. You take several deep breaths as you focus all of your energy on seeing beyond what your own eyes.

Slowly, the room takes shape before you. You turn your head about to scan the room. It is empty. Even his mask is gone. Your chest bubbles in anger. He really left you tied up and blindfolded on the bed.

This is definitely not cute anymore.

Ben stands outside of his quarters chuckling darkly to himself. Even from outside of the room he senses your anger. It pleases him some to tease you so after you’ve been teasing him.

A serving droid rolls up to Kylo with trays of food intended for him and you for dinner. Kylo grabs the tray from the droid that rolls away just as quickly as it had come. Kylo holds the tray. He still waits to enter. He wants you to grow even more impatient and angrier at him. He likes the way your face contorts when you’re angry. To him, it is cute.

You hear the door open and you know it is Ben. Who else could it be?

“Ben,” His name comes out of your mouth like a swear word.

“Oh, you’re still here?” He acts as if you had the ability to leave.

“Of course, I am. Why the hell did you leave me?” You grit your teeth as Kylo puts the tray down on the desk. He uncovers the tray to see the evening’s meal. You hear the light clattering but are not sure what he is doing.

“What? I wasn’t gone long. Did you miss me that much?”

“No. I just can’t believe you’ve left me blindfolded and tied up!” You turn your head trying to figure out where he is in the room. Your frustration as hindered your ability to use the force to see.

“Oh, so you didn’t miss me,” He speaks lowly but you feel him come to the edge of the bed.

“No. Now, untie me!” You order.

“Untie you? You don’t think this is cute?” he brings up the word and goes back to the game. You know now why he left. He wants you to lose this teasing game. Being pissed you can’t lose now! You take breath.

“Of course. You are still trying so hard. It’s very cute, Benny,” You make up the nickname. If you could see his face you would see him cringe at the nickname.

“Benny?” He repeats it disgusted. Hearing the tone, you know you can add this to your teasing.

“Yes. That’s what I will call you from now on, my cutie Benny,” You bring up the possibility.

He tightens his jaw.

“If you call me that then I’ll have to punish you for insolence,” He threatens. You like the threat.

“Go ahead, Benny,” You don’t stop. You feel him step away then come back to the bed.

He brings something to your almost open slit. It too big to be his finger but not girthy enough to be his penis. It hard yet smooth. There is a strange texture on it like plastic. He rubs it against the length of slit. He moves it in a circle over your clit then drags it down. He dips it in just a little, but he never penetrates you with this foreign object.

“W-what is that?” You don’t hate the feeling. Ben does not answer but instead pushes it inside you. You moan at the feeling of this object entering you. It’s almost like having a cock inside but different. It’s not as big as Ben but it’s still sizeable. It doesn’t reach as far as Ben either but the way he moves it about reaches different angles. As he pushes it in and out of you, his fingers go to tease your clit more. Your mouth cannot stop from making obscene noises.

“You like that? I can see you sucking it in. You don’t want to let it go. Do you really it that much?” He asks.

“Yes. Yes, I like it,” You moan.

“Even more than my cock?” He poses the question but does not stop moving this other thing in you. You know he wants you to praise him. He wants you to beg for his cock. You both know you prefer his cock but you want to finish. You’re so close with whatever this is and you want to still tease him.

“Feeling insecure, Benny?” You ask. You hear him snort disapprovingly at his remark and harshly twists your hard clit making you cry out in the painful pleasure.

“I guess I need to remind you how much better my cock is,” He says and lets go of your throbbing clit. He stops moving the object but leaves it inside you. You hear his clothes falling to the floor. The bed dips as he climbs on it. You feel his body heat above you. He turns on the bed but you are not sure what is happening. You feel something hard and fleshy poking your cheek. It reminds you of this morning. Does he want you to suck his cock like this again? You open your mouth. You reach for it with your tongue. You graze his velvet tip. He repositions himself and inserts his penis into your mouth. With his tip in your lips, you feel him begin to move the object again. His tongue laps at your clit as you suck. You lift your head to reach more of his dangling member.

Ben removes his mouth and you hear him suck on something. His tongue returns to your clit as your feel his wet fingers venture south to your third hole. When he puts one in you arch your back. You can’t believe all three of your holes are being filled. Having your mouth full of his cock while he teases your ass and penetrates your pussy is too much. It’s too much.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmm!” You cum but your voice is muffled by his still hard member in your mouth. You struggle to breathe with him still in your mouth but you feel him take out the object and his fingers from your lower half.

“What a dirty girl you are coming while being thrice penetrated. You’re selfish too. I didn’t even get cum,” He taunts you and pulls his cock out of your mouth. You gasp for air while he moves so his hips are no longer are above you. Your chest heaves up and down.

“I’m sorry...” You apologize for his lack of realize though your head is still spinning from the experience.

“What are you going to do to make it up to me?” He asks.

“Anything. I’ll do anything.”

Ben turns you over. He turns your head so you can breathe. He still keeps you tied up making you lay on your tight knees and breasts. His tips stays just outside of your entrance. You feel him bring the now soaked object to your buttocks. He wiggles it between your still baton marked cheeks. He inserts into your asshole making you groan then pushes his dick into your folds. You grit your teeth at the double penetration.

“Shit. I can feel it rubbing be from the other side,” Ben remarks referring to the object he thrusts into your asshole at the same time he thrusts in you. You can feel it too.

“Do you like that? You like feeling two cocks in you?” He seeks your feedback though you both know the second “cock” isn’t one.

“Yes. Yes. I do.”

“Which one do you like more? Which feels better? Your pussy or your ass?”

“My pussy! My pussy feels the best,” You whine.

“Damn right it does. You love my cock. You can’t get enough of it, can you?”

“No, I can’t. I love your cock.”

“Yes, you do, you little cumslut,” He hips grow wilder in their thrusting. Your whole body shakes from the movements. You can barely breathe or think. All you know is everything feels amazing. It won’t be long till he brings you to ecstasy again.

“Do you want me to make you cum again?” He huffs.

“Yes. Yes, please!”

“Then tell me. Tell me I’m not cute,” He makes his pay for the win of this little game. You don’t’ care about the game anymore.

“You’re not cute. You’re a fucking beast,” You accede to his demand.

“That’s right, sweetheart.” He seems to grow even larger inside of you.

“Ben! Ben, I’m going to cum again! I’m coming!” You alert him of your status. You writhe beneath him as your body explodes. You go limp beneath him. He pulls out the object from your ass. He pulls his drenched dick as well. He turns you back onto your back. He straddles your ribs. He brings your breasts together over his penis. He rubs himself between your breasts not caring that he makes them sticky with your own love juice.

“Open your mouth,” He grunts. You do as told. Hot and thick, his semen splatters over your chest, face and into your mouth. You close your mouth and swallows what you catch in there.

Ben gets off you and quickly unties your limbs. You stretch them out glad to feel control over them again. But you cannot move them. Your body is utterly worn out.

You feel Ben take the former cloth restraints and begin to wipe away his cum from your chest and face. His fingers go to the bridge of your nose and lift the fabric. Pulling it off your eyes blink to adjust to the light. You are met with Ben’s smug face. You do not care that he may be feeling a bit arrogant right now having won the game. You won by being the one getting to cum twice. He gives you a chaste kiss on the lips.

“Are you okay?” He inquires.

“Yes.”

“Good. I know I got a bit carried away…”

“It’s okay. It felt…amazing. And I don’t have any pain. But I don’t know if I’ll be able to move much for the rest of the night,” You admit. His ego makes him pleased to hear such words.

“I’ll take care of you then,” He takes responsibility. He removes the remnants of your ruined dress from your body. He scoops you up into his arms and carrying you as one should carry their bride, he starts for the bathroom.

“Wait,” You put your hand on his chest.

“What?”

“What were you using in me?” You ask.

“Well, dinner came so I used a part of it,” He turns and you see the tray of your dinner. You see an array of cold meats, cheeses, vegetables, and fruits as well as cups of tea. Many of the items are wrapped in film to protect them from rotting prematurely. You look to the bed and see there lies a film-wrapped but now cum covered cucumber. You are very surprised by the truth of what he used as an impromptu sex toy.

“I’m not eating that one then,” You decide. Ben laughs.

“I’ll throw it out,” he promises. He takes you into the bathroom to properly clean you up.

He showers you and applies Bacta to your sore bum. He dries you off and then carried you back into the bedroom. He feeds you by hand after throwing away the soiled cucumber. You enjoy this aftercare. He is so gentle with you like you are made of glass. You could get used to this treatment. He puts you into bed and makes sure your naked body is covered. Everything about it is cute. You will not say so out loud though. You cannot take anymore fucking tonight. You close your eyes to rest.

Ben works at his desk while you flirt with sleep. But you are unable to give into until Ben gets in the bed with you. He turns the light off without touching the switch as his force ability lets him. He reaches for you. You turn onto your side to face him. He pulls you against him. You put yourself so your forehead is at his lips. You bring you arms up to press against his sizeable pecs. His arm goes beath your head to make it a pillow. His arm curves for his hand can go into your hair. His other arm goes to cradle the back of your head. You feel his lips kiss your head softly as he says your name and a ‘goodnight’. You murmur a ‘goodnight’ as well.

* * *

The morning comes and it means you must go. You are able to get one of your dresses out of the trunk without revealing the hidden transmitter. You don the not surprisingly black dress. The sleeves are long but tight on your arms. There are holes cut out at the shoulders. The fabric clings your chest which you are pleased it does as there is a deep ‘v’ on the front and back of the dress showing off much your enlarged chest and back. The rest of the dress flows to your ankles. There is a single slit going up to upper right thigh which will give you more ability to move your legs. Even with the slight weight gain, you look gorgeous in your dress. You put on the belt Kylo gave you so you can have your lightsaber with you. You put on your black heeled ankle boots as well.

Ben makes no remark when he sees you dressed. You have learned he is not one to compliment you on your appearance. His desire to fuck you multiple times a day proves that he must find you somewhat attractive though. Still you have adapted to having to be satisfied in knowing yourself that you are beautiful whether he says so or not. 

You stay at Kylo’s side as you two leave your quarters with a droid carrying your joint trunks behind you. You two reach the command shuttle that is to take you to Finalizer. General Hux glowers when his eyes land on you.

“What is she doing here?” General Hux asks Kylo and nods to you.

“Supreme Leader Snoke told me to bring her,” Kylo answers.

“He did?”

“Yes.”

“Oh…” General Hux is still not pleased but cannot go against the wishes of the Supreme Leader. Kylo leads you inside and the trunk holding droid rolls behind. General Hux follows not sure why Snoke would want you to accompany them on this mission.

In the shuttle, Kylo takes his seat behind the pilots. You start to go to the chair next to him but General Hux stands ready to take it as well. He looks at you offended at your assumption that you would take the seat. He is a general after all and you are…not. You do not want to start any more problems with General Hux especially as you will have to be a little closer to him in the coming weeks. You know you could handle sitting in the back. This is just a short flight anyway.

“Is there a problem, Sly?” You hear Kylo speak. You look to him not sure of what to say or do.

“No. I’m fine. I’m just going to go to the bathroom,” You excuse yourself. With you walking away, Hux takes the seat. You go into the bathroom and you are glad you did. You feel your stomach souring. The ship takes off and it sours even more. You stay in the bathroom expelling the little breakfast you and Kylo shared before dressing. You do not leave the bathroom till you feel the ship stop. You know it has docked within the Finalizer’s docking bay.

It has been some time since you have been on the Finalizer. It had at one point served as a training ground for troopers. That was when Captain Cardinal and his team did the training. They were harsh and grueling. Captain Phasma is the same but less sexist. You know that training still occurs on the ship at times but most of it has moved to Starkiller Base. You have not been on the Finalizer since your meteoric rise.

You exit just as Kylo comes near.

“Are you okay?” He whispers as no one is around. You nod.

“Just morning sickness.”

Kylo easily accepts this as he has observed your ailments due to your pregnancy. He waits for you to come to his side before he heads to the exit. General Hux has already left the ship. You and Kylo exit and find the captain of the ship there waiting.

“Welcome back Commander Ren and Gerenal Hux.” You recognize Captain Gork speaks after saluting his superiors. He was one of the worst of your trainers. He especially enjoyed humiliating you when you messed up by making you undress and spraying you with a hose or flogging you. He often threatened you as well that he would send you to Kessel to be a slave there. Because of him you made sure to lessen your mistakes. You hate that he is here. His eyes go to you. He has the same look in them that he would get when he would discipline you. You step closer to Kylo. You want to take hold of your husband’s hand but you know he would be upset in thinking you are just trying to make a display of your affection. 

“What are you doing here, FN-1971, and out of uniform?” Captain Gork remembers you.

“ _Lady Ren_ , is no longer a stormtrooper, Captain Gork. She is my wife and apprentice. She will be treated as you would treat me,” Kylo answers for you and gives his expected standards. Captain’s muddy brown eyes grow.

“Yes, sir,” He must agree to Kylo’s orders. The Captain, General and OCmmander make plans to go discuss important matter pertaining to the trip. Kylo turns to you.

“The droid will take you to our room. Wait there for me,” He instructs.

“Yes, sir,” You turn and follow the droid that now leads you. You look back at the three men as you walk. Neither Kylo nor Hux look at you. Captain Gork though turns his head just enough for one of his eyes to see you. He gives a smile. It is the same twisted smile he would get when he was about to begin your torture and when he would make you break. He loved making you cry and submit to his will. You shudder fearfully. He knows you still hold some fear of him. 

You straighten and turn back to follow the droid. It takes you to the chambers you are and Kylo are to share. It lowers the trunk then leaves you with it. 

You begin to unload the clothing and items. You find that the make of Kylo’s quarters are very similar to Kylo’s quarters on the base. There is bathroom but this one also has a tub beside the shower. It is there you take the soaps, shampoos and other toiletries that Kylo packed. There is another room set up to be Kylo’s meditation room. You pick up Vader’s helmet and put in the room on the altar. You leave the room and begin to hang up the clothes in the closet of the room.

As you go through the items you find the transmitter you hid. You are unsure of where to hide it in the room. There is a desk but Kylo will be using that and would find it easily. You can’t put it in the closet as Kylo will go there as well. You will also share the bathroom so you can’t hide it there. You sit on the bed unsure of what you can do.

You look at your wrist to your bracelet. You put the transmitter down next to your leg as you unclasp the golden accessory. You look inside to the code there. You know that Kylo will be taking some time with Hux and the crew. Maybe you could try to reach Han.

You pick up the transmitter and begin to type in the code. With each number you press, your heart beats harder and harder. The pumping blood fills your ears nearly deafening you. If you are caught you do not know how Ben will react. He threw you against a wall the last time you spoke to him about his father. He said he would never do it again. He was able to restrain himself yesterday when he was mad about you and Finn. He had to dominant you sexually afterward. You did not mind that but that was different. Bringing up Han and his family is a far more sensitive issue than you hugging a friend.

You hesitate about pressing the button that will connect you out to space. You do not know if it nerves or your pregnancy that makes you nauseous in the moment. You take several breaths in hopes of calming your body. You press it. You clench your teeth as you wait for someone to answer your call.


	60. The First Transmission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thanks so much for the comments and kudos! I really do appreciate the feedback. Please, enjoy this chapter. :)

# Chapter 60

Hosnian Prime, the capital of the New Republic, is in a constant state of having ship flying in and out of the planet. People of all creeds and species flow through the urban planet going about their personal businesses. Han Solo and his ever-loyal Co-Pilot have taken their time on the popular planet having dumped their cargo to the proper buyer. Every night they have lurked about in seedy cantinas in search for a new client and cargo. Such late-night activities have left the older man in need of much sleep in the mornings.

Han sleeps in his bunk as Chewbacca has gone to get more supplies for their ship. Sleep deprivation has not affected the Wookie. He is still in the prime of life unlike his friend who is transitioning into his golden years.

Han snores with his limbs stretched out over his bed. He has no reason to limit his reach in his sleep. He has not had a bed companion in years. When he did, his arms always ended up wrapping around his personal princess. Sometimes when the old pilot struggles to sleep at night he takes his extra pillow, cuddles it, and pretends it is his estranged wife. On those nights he dreams of Leia and Ben. He dreams of the times gone by when they were all together and happy. Such dreams have eluded him since their arrival to Hosnian Prime as most nights he just collapses on his bed and has dreamless sleep.

A shrill beeping noise causes the sleeping smuggler stir. He turns onto his side but the noise continues. He covers his ears not wanting to wake but the noise will not be blocked from his ears.

“Chewie, get it!” Han yells. Of course, the absent Wookie does not respond or stop the noise. Han lays still unable to rest because of the noise. A rant of curses leaves the man’s mouth as he gets out of his bed and goes to find the source of the noise.

Han rummages through his belongings till he finds the loud object. Seeing that it is personal long distance transmitter, his brows furrow. Who would be contacting him on this?

“Hello?” He clicks to answer.

“Han?” Han hears his name spoken tentatively.

“Yeah? Who is this?” He asks not sure. He knows it is not Leia. Her voice is quite different. 

“It’s…Meia.”

The mention of the name fully wakens Han. He sits back onto his bed with a grin. He lies down putting one hand behind his head and crossing his ankles.

“Hey, kid. How’re ya doing?”

“I’m doing fine. How are you holding up, old man?” You ask.

Han rolls his eyes at your nickname for him but he does not lose his grin.

“I’m good.”

“And Chewbacca?” You do not forget the Wookie.

“He’s practically fully recovered. How’s Poe doing?” He mentions the pilot.

“Um…I don’t know. I hope is fine,” You have had no contact with the young pilot since you made him leave you with your ship.

“You’re not with him?” The information surprises Han. The last time he saw you, you had decided to go with Poe to the Resistance Base.

“No. I decided not to go with him…”

“Oh. So, I guess you’re still on Naboo then. How is Jyn? Chewy misses her. I think he’s developed a little crush on her,” Han laughs at his own suggestion though Chewie is no where near by to be embarrassed by the remark.

“She is very happy now. The Naberrie family has accepted her. Her lover was released from the First Order and has been reunited with her. I am sure she would love to introduce him to you and Chewy when you guys go back to Naboo. I hope Chewie won’t be too heartbroken,” You go along with Han’s joke.

“I’m sure he’ll get over it.”

“Good. An upset Wookie is not a good Wookie to be around.”

“You’re telling me,” Han chuckles, “So how are the twins doing?”

“They’re growing just find. Their heartbeats are strong. They make me sick and tired though,” You mention the negative side effects.

“I’m glad they are growing. You know if you’re getting sick a lot then that means your babies will have a lot of hair when they are born. At least that’s what the midwives on Chandrila would tell me and Leia when she was pregnant. And Ben was born with a full head of hair,” Han gives away the old wives tale and some more background on Ben. Han still remembers when he got to first hold his son after Leia’s excruciatingly long labor. The babe was so tiny in his hands. He was pale but his head was covered in thick black hair already. Han wonders if his son still lets it grow long or has he cropped it short to be more uniform with the First Order?

“Then my twins are going to be born with more hair than Chewy,” You laugh as does Han. “But the bracelets you’ve given me have been a great help. Thank you again for them. I’d hate to know how sick I’d get without them.”

You clasp the bracelet that you opened back so it can stay on your wrist and hide the code to reach Han.

“I’m glad to have helped you out, kid.”

“Speaking of helping me out…” You see an opportunity to bring up the comics which could lead to a reunion with him and Ben.

“Is something wrong, kid?” He uncrosses his ankles as if he could get up and help you now. But being lightyears away it would be impossible.

“Nothing is wrong. I just was wondering if you could do me a favor,” You do not want him to worry.

“What is it?”

“Well, I left something on Naboo. I was wondering if when you got back there, you could get what I left and bring it to me,” You lay out the scenario.

“You’re not on Naboo? I thought you didn’t go with Poe?” Han is confused.

“I’m not on Naboo and I’m not with Poe. I’m…” You stop. You don’t know how to tell him the truth. You do not know how he will react to you returning to the First Order. He and Chewy went through so much to get you away from them. Han knows the truth about the father of your children and that is the father is his own son. But Ben is still Kylo Ren. Would Han be happy that you have gone back to him? You also don’t want him to think you are trying to lure him to the First Order to be captured. You would never want to betray Han like that. You never want him to think you would either.

“Where are you?” Han asks as you have paused for a long time.

You still hesitate to answer.

“Han, I’m…” You stop your answer. You sense Ben. As you hear the door start to open you stuff the transmitter under your pillow.

“Ben!” You shoot up and great the entering commander. The door closes and Kylo takes off his mask.

“Did I scare you?” He asks noticing your jumpiness.

“No. I’m just surprised is all. How was your meeting?” You leave the bed and cross over to him.

“Fine. We will be heading to the planet Noonar,” Ben gives away the destination.

“Noonar? Isn’t that planet a pacifist one?” You remember learning of it.

“Yes. So, they won’t really put up a fight in coming under our control,” Ben points out the good fortune for the First Order.

“But they won’t pose a threat to the First Order if they do not come under it. Couldn’t we just skip that one?” You do not see the point of taking control over the neutral planet.

“Our enemies can take them over if we don’t. We have to act now and take control before the Resistance can,” Ben explains, “And it’s not like we plan to hurt them or make them join our ranks. We just want to put troopers there to makes sure they don’t help the Resistance. Otherwise, they will live as they regularly do.”

Ben’s plans do not sound bad. In fact, if troopers are just there to monitor Resistance activity and do nothing else then it would not be too intrusive. Still, something bothers you about it all.

Ben comes up to you and takes your face into his gloved hands.

“Don’t worry about these things, sweetheart. All you need to concern yourself about on this trip is training, your health, the twins and…taking care of this,” He brings his pelvis forward and presses it against you. You can feel the hardness in his pants. You look down to I then back to his face. His eyes are already clouded with lust. You start to laugh.

“What is it about meetings that makes you like _this_?” You slip your hand into his pants. You take a hold of his erection. You slid your hand up and down.

“It’s not the meetings. It’s you. You always make me like _this_.” His breath already begins to become uneven. You smirk at how he grows bigger and bigger in your hand. You look him in the eye as you jerk him off. You like how his lips part to help him breathe more as you increase the speed of your rubbing. His eye begins to twitch, and you know he is about blow. You pull down his pants to expose his engorged manhood. You lower yourself and as soon as you put your mouth around his tip he curses and cums in your mouth. You swallow it all to avoid having it spill out and make a mess of either of your clothes. You rise up having let go of him. He tucks himself away. You wipe your mouth with back of your hand.

“I guess I should return the favor,” He starts to grab you by your waist. He puts you on the bed. You lay back as he begins to lift the hem of your dress. As your head hits your pillow you feel something hard beneath it. You remember now that you have the transmitter under your pillow. Ben’s head comes next to yours as his arms and hands are long enough to reach your nether region from this position. You hope he does not feel or see the transmitter. You begin to wonder, did you actually end the call?

Han sits on the other side of the transmitter very confused by the muffled voices he hears. One second you are about to tell him where you are and the next all sound is barely audible. He was going to call out to you but hearing another voice he deduces that you are hiding the transmitter. He is not sure why. But he knows it must be that you are afraid of whomever you are speaking to and cannot let them know that you two are communicating. Since you said you are not on Naboo or with Poe, he can assume that you are somewhere you should not be. You may be taken by the First Order. Is that why you called? Did you want him to rescue you?

Han Solo is not exactly in the rescuing business. Saving you from the cantina on Dantooine was one thing because he knew he and Chewie could handle a drunk pervert. But the First Order is a whole different issue. That is an army. He is just an old man with a Wookie and freighter. What could he do to rescue you?

“Ben,” Han hears you say rather clearly. You are right on top of the transmitter after all.

Han sits up hearing you call his son’s name. You are with Ben?

Ben took his glove off before bring his fingers to the apex of your legs. He skillfully dips his fingers inside you and plays with your womanhood. You spread your thighs to allow him more access. As long as he is distracted on pleasuring you, he will be less likely to notice the transmitter. Even you begin to forget about the transmitter as his finger press deeper in you. Ben covers your mouth with his. You open your lips so his tongue can enter there. You love the taste of his mouth. He turns to be on top of your body. Your hands go into his hair. You grip the lengthy black locks.

“Mmmm!” You cum on his hand. Ben breaks the kiss and takes out his re-excited penis. He rubs your excess over it before pressing to your wet quim. You grip his bicep when he drives himself into you without a second thought. His hair falls in his face nearly obscuring his lustful eyes and hitting the top of his large nose. Raising your hand, you let your fingers push away the hair so you can look to his face without any blockage. You keep your hand on his cheek for a moment before sliding it to go behind his head. You pull at his neck to bring him down. He captures your mouth with his own again.

You suck on Ben’s lower lip and nibble as his hips keep rocking. As he nudges a deep spot in you, you bite down hard on his lip. He grunts. You suck on the injured lip to apologize. Ben grips your hips and begins to turn your hips up to fold you. His thrusts are relentless and purposefully hit your deepest spots to elicit cries from you. You claw at his shoulders that are covered by his uniform as you are feeling yourself about to explode.

“Ben!” You writhe in ecstasy. Ben calls your name when he finishes. He lets your hips go allowing you to lie beneath him unbent. He kisses you more despite the two of you having finished.

Han sits on his bed unable to believe what he just heard. Should he be proud that he now knows his son has a consenting partner who he can actually bring to orgasm? Should he be concerned that his son just called the girl he knows to be Meia by the name of the comic book queen Ben liked the most growing up? Should he be even more concerned to know that you are back at the First Order while pregnant? Han is very confused and uncomfortable by this transmission. He also cannot believe that the first time he has heard his speak in years is during this sort of act.

“I’ll go get a washcloth,” Ben gets off you. He heads to the bathroom. With him in the bathroom, you lift your pillow and find the transmitter. You blush seeing it is still on!

“Han…are you still there?” You ask softly hoping he is not.

“Yeah…” He confirms your fear.

“You didn’t hear any of that, did you?” you ask hoping he did not.

“Uh, it’s not important,” He answers. You want to die knowing that this means he did.

“Oh, maker. You weren’t supposed to…I’m sorry. I have to go now, Han. Can-can I call you another time?” You ask hoping that having listen to you and his son copulate, he will not turn his back on you.

“Of course, kid,” He answers though he hopes it will not be while you are having sex. You smile. You end the transmission, turn it off, and stuff the transmitter on the mattress on your side. Ben walks back out.

“Were you talking to someone?” He asks.

“Just myself,” You lie.

Han exhales still processing what has happened. He is still curious now about why you want his help. What do you need? Are you going to try to leave the First Order again? Could he really do that to his son? Could he help his son’s pregnant lover leave him? Han does not want to hurt his son, but Ben is in a bad place now and Han does not believe that his grandchildren should be raised anywhere near that bastard Snoke. But what can Han do?

Ben gingerly cleans you up. You have a feeling that Ben enjoys cleaning you as he gets to see the mess he has made of you. It gives him some pride to know that he brought you such pleasure and has marked you as his own. Does every man enjoy clean up so much or is it just Ben? Does he actually like cleaning you or does he just like getting to keep touching you? You do not know if there is any other man who loves this specific area as much as Ben.

Ben returns to the bathroom when he is done. You stay lying on you back and waiting for him to come back. He comes back and takes the glove he discarded to put it back on his hand.

“We will have lunch with Captain Gork and General Hux today. We will discuss some of the details involving Noonar. You’ll eat with us,” Ben informs you of your new schedule. You frown. You have no desire to eat with those people. You sit up.

“How about you eat with them and I stay here and meditate,” You give an alternative. Ben shakes his head and sits down on the bed.

“No. I need you there with me,” He answers.

“You need me?” You crawl toward the foot of the bed where he sits.

“Yeah, I need you with me,” He makes no move to turn to look at you.

“Why?” You do not understand.

“I need someone I can stand in the room with me,” He answers. You smile at the reason. You hug him from behind.

“Well, if you _need_ me, I guess I will have to go with you,” Your only choice is to agree. His hand touches your arms that around him. You sigh and lay your cheek against his shoulder. You suppose that with Ben there you can be able handle being with Captain Gork again.


	61. Powerless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! They bring me so much joy! I am doing my best to update as quickly as possible. I start back at my job soon but I will not stop writing because of it. But my updates might get slower...I hope they won't as I don't want to make anyone have to sit and wait forever to find out what happens next to Y/N, Kylo, and the other characters. Thank you all for your continued readership! Please, enjoy this next chapter.

# Chapter 61

You sit at the table with Ben at the head of it and you on his right. General Hux sits at the other end of the table while Captain Gork sits across from you. Captain Gork’s appearance has not changed much since you last saw him. He is still a large man in height and in muscular proportion. He is shorter than Kylo. And even though Kylo is shredded with an eight back, Captain Gork’s muscles are larger. His hair line has receded greatly and the light brown and gray hairs there have been close to his head. He keeps his beard short like stubble. His nose his long but flat and crooked from having it broken a few times over the years. You had heard how some of the older female officers thought his lips were plump and made him more handsome. To you he is only revolting including his Cupid bow lips. 

It is hard for you to eat with Captain Gork’s feces colored eyes on you. It is hard for you to listen to the discussion about Noonar when Captain’s Gork’s voice is like a screeching Acklay gargling crumbles rocks. You swallow more of the nutrient rich jogan fruit blended beverage you were given to drink. You look to Ben who speaks in an almost monotone voice as his eyes give away his annoyance with this conversation.

The door of the dining room opens. A petty officer enters. He is tall, pale and skinny as a rail. But even with his short nose and rather small eyes, he is not too bad to look at not that you want to look at anyone besides your beloved husband.

“What is it, Officer Thanisson?” Captain Gork’s eyes finally leave you and go to the young, saluting man.

“We are approaching Noonar, sir,” He relays the information.

“Prepare the Command Shuttle for General Hux and myself. Have ten troopers prepared to go as well,” Kylo orders putting on his helmet.

“Yes, sir,” Thanisson salutes and leaves the room. General Hux and Kylo stand up. You and Captain Gork stand as well.

“Captain Gork, please escort Lady Ren to our quarters,” Kylo gives the responsibility to Captain Gork. You feel as if the blood in your body is running out of your body at the news of your escort.

“I can find my way back on my own, Commander,” You look to Kylo you try to be respectful but confident.

“Now, now, Lady Ren, we should not disobey Commander Ren. I will make sure she does not get lost, sir,” Captain Gork salutes his superior. Kylo leaves the room with General Hux. You want to grab Kylo and tell him ‘no’ or ‘take me with you’. But such defiance and begging would not please him, at least it would not please him outside of the bedroom. You slip out of the room with them. You force yourself to watch Kylo walk away with Hux.

“Shall we go, _Lady Ren_?” Captain Gork pops up by your side. The way he says your new title holds no respect. You take a step away from him to put some space between the two of you.

“Yes, Captain Gork,” You start walking. You walk with great speed as to keep this interaction as short as possible. You do your best to not make eye contact with the Captain as you two walk alone in the halls of the Finalizer. Your palms grow clammy having to be near him. You want to upchuck your lunch. You want away from this man. Everything about him makes your skin crawl.

“So, tell me, _Lady Ren_ , how did you rise so high and so fast?” Captain Gork asks the question he probably has had since he learned of your new position.

You sure as hell are not going to tell him the truth about how Kylo’s sexual harassment turned into genuine affection and love. Nothing about your life is any of business.

“The last time I saw you, you were FN-1971 and just moving to Starkiller base. That was…what a year ago?”

“It was.” You give him just a two word to answer. You do not want to talk to him at all.

“So…what happened?” Captain Gork wants the details.

“Commander Ren would not like my divulging of such private information,” You keep the facts close to your chest. You hope bringing up Kylo will get him to leave you alone.

Captain Gork frowns at your lack of compliance. It is not every day that people he questions refuse to answer with the information he wants. He did not expect this from his former trainee. He does not like it. He does not like it at all.

“I don’t need any intimate details. I just want to know what in our training led to your success,” he offers a fake smile in hopes of luring you into conversing with him. He also seeks praise. You don’t want to give into anything he wants. You just want to get back to your room and get away from him.

“It was not because of anything _you_ taught me, Captain Gork,” you respond and turn the corner to go down the hall. He keeps with you.

“I suppose it wasn’t. We weren’t exactly allowed to teach young troopers how to fuck their way to the top,” he remarks purposely slighting you.

“You would have greatly failed in that sort of education had it been allowed,” You retort. Captain Gork blood burns at your insolent words. He grinds his teeth and fists his hands at his sides though the urge to grab you by your hair, throw you to the ground, and beat his version of respect into you consumes him. 

“You should be careful not to forget yourself, _Lady Ren_. I am a captain and you...well, you are just an officer’s bedmate. I outrank you as I always have and when Commander Ren is gone, _I_ am your master,” he puts out his view of your roles. His attempt to impose himself over you infuriates you. He may still frighten you, but he is not your master. No one is except Ben and he only is as you let him be.

“Captain Gork, I believe you are confused. Not only am I the _wife_ to Commander Ren but I am also his apprentice. Commander Ren is second only to the Supreme Leader Snoke and I am Ren’s second. In ranking I would be third and you...you’re no admiral or general. You are just a captain. I outrank you. You take your orders from my husband and when he is gone, _I_ am _your_ master,” You correct him and verbally assert your dominance despite the fact you have no idea what your actual ranking is. Captain Gork grabs you by your shoulders and slams you against the way behind you. He gains a nasty snarl in his face. His eyes are filled with wrath. All of your confidence is gone. It is replaced with fear.

“Do you really think I won’t hurt you because you’ve been given a new title by becoming Kylo Ren’s whore, FN-1971? I will not hesitate to remind you who your superior truly is. I’ll drag you down to the shower and spray you down like the bitch you are like I used to do. And then I’ll show you what it is to get truly fucked,” He threatens, his breath hot in your face. He is just as you remember, terrifying. Your heart races frantically. You tremble in his hold. Your mind flashes to the past. Your skin can almost feel the painful sting of the ice water hitting your naked body as the grinning captain sprayed you. You feel almost helpless in this moment. Being with this man has made you feel like a powerless child again.

Seeing your reaction, Captain Gork smiles. He loves that you still fear him. His eyes go from your face to your body. In this outfit he sees much of what he used to like to look at when you were being punished. Of course, he has not punished you or seen you naked in several years as you did shape up quickly to avoid such punishments. He was glad to produce a good trooper but disappointed that he did not get to torture you. He found solace in tormenting other young female troopers in training. But none of them made the noises you did. He liked how you whined, squeaked, and squealed. Your easy submission also pleased him greatly. Although you are older than he usually likes, he would not mind pressuring you to submit to his carnal desires. You are afraid of him after all. If he has learned anything over the years, it is that fear makes people do things they never thought they would. Maybe he could even make a commander’s plaything become his plaything.

Puts his knee between your legs and leans down. Bring his face closer to yours, you turn your face away and close your eyes. He exhales deeply on your cheek.

“You talk a lot of shit, FN-1971, but you’re still a little scared girl in need of my disciplining. I can do so now more thoroughly now that your vow of chastity is broken,” he whispers huskily. You shudder. The mere thought of Captain Gork raping you is enough to bring tears your eyes. He licks his lips seeing the wetness in your eyes. It has only aroused him more.

“Leave me alone, Captain Gork,” Your voice is barely above a whisper. He grabs you by your jaw and makes you look at him.

“You have no authority over me, FN-1971,” He begins to bring his mouth toward yours. You feel frozen. You do not want him to kiss you. You do not want him to touch you at all. But your body will not move. His body is so much larger than yours. You are not able to get away from him. You are not able to get away. He is too powerful and you…you are powerless.


	62. Defense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments. I hope no one was too stressed out from last chapter. Please enjoy this one!

# Chapter 62

You hear the thoughts coming all at once in Captain Gork’s head. He wants to shove his tongue down your throat and rip your dress open. He wants to grope you in the hall and hear you whimper for him to stop. He wants to drag you by your hair into the storage closet near by then force you on your knees. He will shove himself so far in your throat that you will not be able to breathe. Then he will cum all over your face. He will turn your around and shove himself up your ass. You will beg and plead for him to stop, for him to let you go. He will not. He will teach you to fear him once more.

His lips have still yet to reach you, but you hear it all. Your eyes cannot stop the tears. You dread what is to come.

All at once time moves exceptionally slow. It is as if Captain Gork’s disgusting lips are moving a millimeter per hour. You still cannot move but his actions are not fast. You are given over to defeat as you know the horror he has planned for you. You wish Ben were there. But then you think of Ben and how heartbroken he would be to see you in the embrace of another man. He was furious over Eight-Seven who was just hugging you. To learn you were kissed and defiled by this asshole, would it enrage him or break him? It will break you. You never thought you would have to put up with this shit now that you are Kylo Ren’s wife. But how can you stop this. You are small, weak, and powerless.

You hear your name. It is not your mind that says it. The voice…it is feminine. There is something familiar about it but you do not know why. You hear your name again.

“Defend yourself. You are strong in the force. You are more powerful than mere men like him. Use the force. Use the force.”

The voice is right. You are not weak. You are not powerless. You wield the force. Even before you knew that you fought Tusken Raiders. You killed a herd of Wampas. You survived life as female trooper. You fought the top guardians of Kessel. Now, that you do know how to the wield the force you have taken on pirates and troopers. You can take on this pathetic excuse of man. You will not yield to him. You will not let him break you.

With this renewed sense of empowerment, you no longer fear the man who tormented you in your youth. Your tears cease. You now longer cower. You look him in the eye. Time begins to quicken again.

Even though his meaty hands hold your arms, you can still move your hands. You lift them just enough to touch his incoming chest. Feeling your touch, he pauses.

“I _said_ , ‘Leave me alone, Captain Gork’,” You glare at him. His eyebrow quirks just in time for you to summon the force to help you push him back from you. Your use is stronger than intended as he is sent flying across the hall and hits the wall behind him. He does not fall or slide down as his body is too strong for that but he does gain a look of stupor on his face. You hate his face. You hate him. You take a few steps toward him. You put out your hand. Kylo might have choked the bastard but you focus your grip elsewhere.

“Agh!” He yowls as he feels an invisible hand clutching his balls. It squeezes them so tight he fears they will burst. He strains at the pain.

You take another step forward and twist your hand. This twists his bruising balls. He shouts for the end of it. Your force releases his testicles but moves up to grip his throat. You raise your arm and he is raised into the air. You come close to his face. The pain has made tears come into his now bulging and blood shot eyes. You want to laugh at him. You want to laugh at his pain as he had done so often when you were under his tutelage. You do not though. You just want to make yourself clear to him.

“I am Lady Ren. I am the wife of Commander Kylo Ren. I am his apprentice in the force. As you can see now, he has taught me well on how to use it. I have killed Tusken Raiders, Wampas, pirates, royal guards, the most powerful man in Canto Bight, and one of our own Admirals. I am no longer the little girl you could bully. I am your superior in every way. You are at my mercy. I can kill you as easily as I can snap my fingers,” you snap the fingers on the hand not controlling his choking. He winces at the action.

You see his face turning a reddish-purple. You drop him to the floor before he can have the pleasure of passing out. He holds his throat as he wheezes. You put your shoulder making him go flat on his back. You move your foot this chest and apply pressure making it harder for him to recover.

“You will never touch me or threaten me again. Do I make myself clear, Captain Gork?” You look him dead in the eyes, so he sees you have no more fear of him. He cannot even nod his head.

“Yes,” He chokes out.

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Lady Ren,” He give you your proper title. You take your foot off his chest.

“There is no more need for you to escort me to my room. You should spend what time you have left preparing yourself. When my husband returns, he will learn of your disrespect. He will not be as merciful as me,” You warn him. You walk away and do not look back at your former abuser.

You reach your room. You still feel a buzz of power through your body. The feeling of victory is one you have come to strongly enjoy.

You wish you could tell Jyn about this. She would be so happy. Captain Gork tormented her as well. She would love that you were able to make him feel as weak and fearful as he had made the two of you.

You sit on your bed. Loneliness comes upon you. It feels like a decade since you were with Jyn but you know it has not been that long at all. Maybe one day you and Ben can go back to Naboo. You can see Jyn and Robal. She can meet your children and help you with them like she wanted to despite the two of you knowing nothing about child rearing. You hope for the reunion. You wonder what Jyn is doing now.

Han could find out. You can ask him to check on Jyn when you ask him to go to Naboo for the comics for you. Maybe he could even get a transfer code from Jyn from him. Of course, you need to call Han again first.

You blush thinking of this morning’s call. You cannot believe you left the transmitter on and running while you were having sex. It was so embarrassing! You can never tell Ben about it. Who knows how he would react?

You pull the transmitter out from beneath the mattress. You look at it. Should you call Han? Maybe you should wait. He may be busy and you have no idea when Ben will return. You do not want a repeat of this morning. Well, the sex was grand but you do not want his father to hear again.

You put the transmitter back. You need to wait for a time when you know you will be alone for a while. You cannot be reckless with this sort of thing.

You do not want to anger Ben at all. He will not hurt you, but you do not want to hurt him. You hope your incident with Captain Gork will not upset him either. Surely, he will not be mad at you. The anger should be entirely on Captain Gork. But…what if he does not believe you? What if Captain Gork lies and no one believes you?

Ben will believe you. He has to…right?

* * *

When the door to your room opens you turn your head and see your retuning husband. You jump up as soon as Kylo enters. He barely takes off his helmet when you wrap your arms around his torso. You can breathe easier now that he is back.

“I was not gone that long, was I?” He puts one hand on your back as the other lowers with his helmet in it.

“Oh, Ben,” You just sigh against him.

“What’s wrong?” He just knows something is up with you. He drops his helmet and grabs you gently by the shoulders. He pushes you back so he can look you in the face.

“Oh, Ben, please believe me. Please,” You start.

“Believe you about what? What’s happened?” Ben does not understand your plea.

“Captain Gork - he might say he did nothing but he did! He did Ben and I defended myself. I did not attack him out of spite,” You try to explains but you have not told anything Ben needs to know. His hands go to your face. He calmly says your name.

“What happened?”

Tears start to come to your eyes. Thinking about how weak you felt and the thoughts Captain Gork had still makes you shudder. You hate to think about what could have happened. But you have to tell Ben everything. You take a breath.

“Captain Gork…ever since I was a child he’s tormented me. He would strip me down and spray with icy or boiling water or beat me. He always did that stuff to me to assert his dominance or whatever. Even though I came with you he still thought of me as FN-1971. When I refused to answer his questions, he-he grabbed me and tried to…to force himself on me. I heard his thoughts. He wanted to rape me. He wanted to rape me, Ben. I stopped him and defended myself. I did not attack him out spite. I did it out of self-defense. You have to believe me,” You give the summary and hope he will believe the truth.

Ben’s hands stay on you. But you feel his rage. It is not directed to you though. You know it is not. He pulls you close against his chest. His hold his tight almost constricting.

“I believe you,” he does not let you go. “I believe you.”

“Please, don’t ever leave me alone with him again,” You add you request. Ben lets you and pushes you back so he can look you in the eye.

“I’m never going to even let him breathe again,” Kylo is sure. His threat against your attacker fills you with pride over your mate. He lets you go and grabs his helmet. He puts it on his head. He surprises you by grabbing your hand.

Kylo leads you out of the bedroom still gripping your hand. He storms his way through the halls dragging you with him. Although it is his fury that fueling his movements, you are secretly glad that he is holding your hand even in front of the people you two pass.

Reaching the bridge, Kylo finally stops. General Hux and several officers are on the bridge. Captain Gork is not. The officers salute their Commander upon his entry. Kylo lets go of your hand.

“I was just telling them of our success on Noonar, Commander Ren,” General Hux is very pleased with what has happened.

“Where is Captain Gork?” Kylo does not register anything said by the general. The officers look to each other unsure.

“He is not here. We are not sure where he is,” A lieutenant answers.

“Find him and bring him here now,” Kylo orders. The nervous men gulp, nod and leave the room.

“What is going on, Ren?” General Hux did not leave.

“You will see. Get all of the other officers here as well. I want everyone’s attention,” Kylo tells Hux. Hux’s light eyes give away his wariness of the possibility that Kylo is going to go ballistic on everyone. He does not understand why. Then Hux looks to you. He sees the evidence of tears on your face.

What has this woman done now? Hux wonders. He moves to call for all officers to report to the bridge.

Officers begin coming to the bridge and standing at attention. No one knows why they have been called. They sweat unsure what Commander Ren might do.

Captain Gork is practically dragged into the room. He winces as he moves inside. He has not recovered from the testicular twisting or the choking. Seeing you and seeing Commander Ren, he knows he is fucked.

“What is the meaning of this meeting, Commander Ren?” General Hux is the only one willing to ask.

“Captain Gork has overstepped and I want everyone to see what happens when you forget your place,” Kylo takes off his lightsaber. He turns it on making everyone but you flinch.

“Commander, please. I did nothing,” Captain Gork falls to his knees.

“You deny attempting to rape my wife-Lady Ren?” Kylo questions.

“I…” Captain Gork looks to you. “I did nothing to her, sir.”

“Is that so? Then when I pull up the security tapes I won’t see you anywhere near her?” Kylo threatens to bring in the hallway footage. Captain Gork knows the tapes will not confirm his words. He knows now he cannot go this route. He looks at you again. The hate in his heart grows more.

“So what? I am a captain, her superior. She’s just a trooper turned whore,” Captain Gork spits the insult at you.

Kylo’s hand goes out and Captain Gork’s hands fly to his throat. He is lifted into the air once more. Captain Gork defecates as Kylo’s grip is worse than yours.

“Lady Ren is subordinate only to me and Supreme Leader Snoke. No one else commands her. And no one insults my wife!” Kylo fingers curls. His words are not just meant for the choking captain but for the present officers. All know now where you are ranked. All know now what will happen should they disrespect you. The display makes you surprisingly happy as he publicly defends you and refers to you as his wife.

Kylo runs his lightsaber through Captain Gork’s chest. He drops the man to the floor and turns around to look at the other officers as he turns off his lightsaber and puts it back on his belt. No one dares to speak, breathe, or move. Even General Hux is still.

“Come, Lady Ren,” He holds his hand out to you. You take his gloved hand and allow him to escort you away.


	63. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I can't believe you guys have given this over 900 kudos! Thank you all so much. It means a lot to me. :) Please, enjoy this next chapter.

# Chapter 63

Walking through the halls, your heart flutters. In front of the most important people on this ship, Ben told them all in his threatening way that he loves you and will do whatever it takes to protect you. He even held your hand in front of them. He still holds your hand now.

Reaching your quarters, Ben removes his helm and puts on the desk along with his lightsaber. You stand at the door just admiring your husband who is still heated from the past events.

“No one better ever try that again. I’ll fucking kill them all,” Kylo slams his fist into the desk with his back still toward you. He is speaking more to himself than to you anyway. You come up behind him and wrap your arms around him. You press your cheek into his back as your hands rest against his chest. You can feel his heartbeat being to slow down as well as his breath.

“Thank you, Ben. You have no idea how grateful I am to you,” You squeeze him in your arms.

Ben brings his hand to touch one of yours on his chest.

He makes you let him go so he can turn around to look at you. He takes our face into his hands.

“I will always protect you and do what is best for you. I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again.” His words almost make you swoon.

“I love you,” You make his lips corner turn upward. He kisses you lightly. You would wrap your arms around him to deepen it but your stomach as other plans.

“Excuse me a moment,” you say when you pull away. You go into the bathroom and allow yourself to vomit. You wash out your mouth before going back into the room.

“You’re okay?” he checks on your status coming close to you.

“I’m fine. I’m just making some hairy babies,” You pat your womb thinking of Han’s earlier comment.

“Hairy babies?” Ben’s eyebrow rises.

“I heard someone say that getting sick a lot means the baby or in this case babies are growing a lot of hair,” You explain.

“Hm,” He eyes turn and he mumbles, “You must be making Wookies.”

You laugh hearing him makes the remark like the one you had made earlier. You reach up and push some his hair that has fallen into his face away so you can see him fully.

“I don’t know about that, but I’m hope they’ve got hair like yours. It’s just so pretty,” You refer to his majestic, soft ebony hair. He runs a hand through the said hair almost as if he were nervous while some pink comes to his cheeks.

“I wouldn’t call it pretty…” Ben mutters.

“But it is. I love your hair. I know Anakin will have it,” You think of your vision child.

“Hm. Our girl will have yours, but it will be much longer than what you have now,” He reaches and touches some of your hair.

“Oh? How do you know?”

“I’ve seen her. I didn’t tell you, but I saw them. I saw them in a vision during the sonogram,” He finally shares.

“You did!” You grow excited.

“Yes.”

“Oh, Ben, tell me what you saw. What do they look like? What were they doing? What were their names? Did they say them? Were we there? How old were they?” Your questions ramble off the tongue.

“They were early twenties, I think. We weren’t there. Anakin…he does look like me but the girl…she was so beautiful. She looks like you.”

Did he inadvertently call you beautiful? Ben has ever called you beautiful.

“They were going to fight someone. But the vision was short so I don’t anything more about it,” He is disappointed he does not know more. You are not though. You are happy that he has gotten to see the possible future of your children.

“Did you hear her name though?” You are still curious.

“No,” He shakes his head.

“I guess the burden is still on us to find her a name then,” You do not lose your smile. Though you have no idea what to call the girl, if it truly be a girl, it will be an interesting process to go through with Ben. Anakin was so easily picked. You wonder if the girl will be the same.

“We have time,” Ben is in no rush.

“I know. But it is something we need to think about.”

“Yes. We must also think about preparing for them. We haven’t had much time to discuss these sorts of matters since you’ve returned.”

“Well, we’ve already agreed we want them to be raised to be free to make their own choices.” That is the biggest issue for you.

“Yes. But that could be difficult if we stay on Starkiller Base,” Ben brings up the location. You had not exactly thought about where you would be raising the children. Starkiller Base is not exactly the best place to raise children given it is meant for First Order members only. Your children would not be free there.

“You’re right. But…are we allowed to be away from Starkiller Base?” You ask as you assume he would know more about these things than you.

“I may be able to persuade him. But I can’t go to him without a plan. So, we should consider our options. There are many planets suitable for children,” Ben lays out the possibility. You immediately know where you want your children to be.

“Naboo. Let’s raise them on Naboo,” You grab his arm excitedly. Your eyes light up at the chance you could be with Jyn again.

“No.” Ben flat out rejects the planet.

“No? Why?”

“It is not under the First Order yet. We will have to choose a place under the First Order’s control,” Ben clarifies.

“Oh…” Your face falls. There is not another planet that interests you like Naboo. You are not sure about the planets under the First Order. So how could you choose one?

“We have many options and as we continue this journey over the next few weeks we will gain more,” Ben tries to give you some hope.

“How will I be able to choose a place if I don’t see them or experience them?” You point out the problem. You do not want to sign off on a future home without seeing it. Ben pauses and thinks of what you say.

“Then I will have you come with Hux and me when we go into negotiations so you can see the people and planet. Would that suit you?” He propositions. You do like it. You begin to think how when you select a planet then you can tell Han and Jyn. Then they can visit!

“Um…yes. I suppose. I doubt Hux will like me going with you two,” You think of the sour general.

“Surely by now, you know I don’t give a fuck about Hux’s feelings.”

“No. Really?” Your sarcasm is not lost on Ben.

“Besides, this way I can keep an eye on you and protect you,” His arms go around you.

“I can protect myself, Ben. I have been trained well to do so,” You remind him.

“I know. But after things like today, I-I want to keep you closer,” He admits. You lean yourself against his chest and wrap your arms around him.

“That’s fine by me.”

* * *

A hearty morning meal gives you enough energy to go with Kylo to one of the few training facilities on the ship. Knowing you two may spar, you decided to wear one of the few pant outfits you have. The only problem you have with them is the small tightness around your stomach and breasts, but it cannot be helped.

Kylo keeps his helmet on as he positions himself across from you on the sparring mat. He takes his lightsaber from his belt but does not turn it on yet.

“Since you have a lightsaber now, we will use these in our fighting. Have you used your lightsaber before?” Kylo asks having never seen you use it.

“Yes. Many times,” You answer.

“Good. Then I won’t have to do a tutorial,” the burden is taken off him.

“What do plan to teach me today?” You ask gripping your lightsaber.

“The same as before. It will be much different fighting with lightsabers instead of sticks.”

“Are you still going to try to beat up my ass with your lightsaber?” You ask recalling the numerous times he would swat your buttocks and leave marks as if to show your progress. You see his hand twitch. You know he loves hitting you there though you really do not know why.

“If you’re not careful, I might,” He answers. You tighten your hold on your lightsaber. Kylo’s red blades shoot out of his hilt and so you turn on yours.

“Your color is…” Kylo does not move but points out the color of your lightsaber. You realize he has never seen it on before now.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” You admire the unique color.

“It suits you.”

You smile at his words. You think so as well. Kylo gets into his fighting stance and you take yours.

You start swinging your blade low but Kylo blocks. The vibration of your blade and his hitting is very powerful but you cannot let it make you slow. You continue with several jabs but he deflects it. You step back.

You raise up your blade and start to come down but with your torso fully open you see Kylo takes the opportunity to poke his blade toward your abdomen. You immediately lower your weapon to block him and step further back. He has also stepped back.

“You must not leave yourself that open or someone can run you through easily,” he critiques you. You nod accepting the tip.

You start at him again hopping from side to side as you know it will be harder for him to hit you the faster your move but he still manages to block you. You take a jump back and stare at him not sure how to land a hit. You do not want to hurt him at all but you would not mind getting close enough to make him sweat a little.

He holds up his lightsaber with both hands near his face and points it toward you. You raise yours up to mimic him. You both walk in a circle making sure the two of you simply mirror each other. Seeing him not making the first move, you do.

Back and forth you both swing and block. Neither of you hit the other though his blade comes close to many deadly blows. You know he restrains himself from following through. He does not want to hurt you after all.

You breathe heavily having space between you and Kylo again. He seems completely unaffected from the dueling.

“Do you need a break?” He asks.

“No,” You shake your head. You will not be satisfied until you have Kylo panicking.

You start toward him again. You go up then down. You spin around but each time you are met with the clash of your sabers. You go for his long legs but he jumps over the swinging blade. He jumps over it again as you bring it back. He brings down his blade but you protect yourself. Standing up from the crouched position you had to take to aim at his legs, you push him away. The two of you attack and parry. Your feet scuffle around the room. Your feet staying in one spot as does his. You press the blades together not wanting to back down. Where his red blade and yours meet turn white as the heat between them. You feel the vibration of his weapon and yours all the way up your arms.

You look at his helmet and the cowl he has on top of it. You smirk to yourself seeing an opportunity to distract him. You move one hand from your hilt. Using the force, you make his cowl come down over his mask blocking his vision.

“What the-” He steps back confused at the sudden lack of vision. You jump and send both of your feet into his chest knocking him down. He drops his saber as he falls. You put your foot on his chest and hold out your saber to his no uncovered mask. You are elated at your rather unexpected success.

“Ooh, I like this position,” You smirk.

Your success is short lived as he sends you off him with the force. He is up and summons his saber back to him as you try not to fall backward.

Spinning around he approaches you. Your blades continue their violent kisses. You know he must be pissed that you had gotten him on his back. You take a knee briefly when his blade comes for your head. You spin on it and gain your feet. You try to jab at his ribs but he hits it away. As you are preparing for another hit, he raises his boot and kicks your saber out of your hands. You fall on to our bottom and begin crab walking away as he keeps coming toward you with his lightsaber pointed at you.

“Not so confident now, are you, sweetheart?” He is the arrogant one now. You hold out your hand from your lightsaber. As it flies toward you, Kylo catches it in his hand. He turns it on so now he has two lightsabers pointed at you.

“Are you just going to let me kill you?” He asks as you back into the wall. You know he means to challenge you. But you are you not sure of what to do. You could beg to be spared but in these situations begging does not always help. You must defend yourself. How would you protect you and yourself if you were being attacked and had no weapon?

Holding out your hand, Kylo becomes still. You cringe as you hear him choking. He drops the lightsabers as he grabs for his throat. Seeing him struggling to breathe your eyes water. You put your hand down and free him of your force choke. You embrace him.

“I’m sorry, Ben. That was the only thing I could think of to protect myself. I’m sorry,” You cry out your apologies hoping he is not hurt and will not be upset with your move. You hear him breathing regularly. His hands clutch your shoulders. He pushes you back from hugging him. Looking up into his mask you fear his wrath. You did not want to force choke him but else could you have done?

“You did the right thing. If you are ever put in that sort of situation, do whatever it takes to protect yourself,” He is not angry at all.

“So, you’re not mad at me?”

“Not at all.”

You smile and go back to hugging him.

“Good. I hated seeing you choke. Really hated it,” You confess. He pats your head.

“You didn’t do any real damage,” he tries to ease your further.

“Really? Nothing hurts?” You look up again.

“Really. I’m fine.”

“If you are, I’ll do _anything_ to make it up to you,” You put your hands on his chest.

“Anything?” He repeats your word. Somehow the way he says it gives you a sense of deja vu. You hear the sound of doors locking around the sparring room.

“Ben, what’s happening?” You look around the room.

“You said you’d do anything,” he reminds you of your words. You lower yourself to your knees and bow your head.

“What do you want me to do, Master?” You play the contrite student.

“Take off your pants,” He gives his first order. You comply and remove the clothing from your lower half as well as your shoes. You fold them and put them next to where you two are. You get back on your knees.

“Now what, Master?” You look up at him growing aroused at the uncertainty of what he wants to do.

“Sit on your bottom and spread your legs as far apart as you can.”

You do as bid. Like this he can see everything below. He enjoys the view. You can tell at the stiffness coming into the crotch of his pants.

“Is this good, Master?” You ask.

“Very good. Now…touch yourself.”

“Yes, Master,” You bring you hand to your spread self. You begin rubbing yourself lightly and make sure to look up at him while you do. You wish his mask were off so you could look him directly in the eyes. You want to see his face as he watches you pleasure yourself.

You tease your own clit as you begin to put two fingers inside yourself. You moan as you curl your fingers inside yourself. It feels good although you wish your fingers at this moment were as big as Ben’s.

You lick your lips when you see Kylo take his penis from his trousers. You hope his intention is to fill the hole you play with now. He brings it near your lips so you know he has other plans.

“Take it into your mouth,” He presses the tip against your lips. You open to take him in your mouth. You start to move your hand away from your vagina to grasp him.

“Don’t stop touching yourself,” He uses the force to move your hand back. You work on yourself as you suck on him. You take him in deeply till you feel his tip hit your uvula then you pull back. You hear his breath losing its steadiness. You like that he is enjoying it. You are enjoying yourself as well.

Your toes grip at the mat as you take your mouth off of Kylo’s cock. You close your eyes as your fingers do their final exploration.

“Ahh,” You throw your head back as you climax. You lay down on your back and look up at Kylo and his still hard friend. You hear Kylo ‘tsk’.

“I thought you were supposed to please me not yourself,” He shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, master,” You pant.

“Get on all fours,” He commands. You turn yourself over and get on all fours. You tilt your hip so your ass is lift. You look over your shoulder and see Kylo kneel down behind you. He rubs your dripping entry with the head of his manhood. He just rubs and rubs making you whine. Why won’t he put it in?

“Beg me,” He answers the question you thought only you knew.

“Please, master. Please, put it inside me. Please, master, I want your cock inside me,” You start to beg like he likes. 

“Louder,” His hand grips your right cheek hard.

“Please, master! Fuck me with your cock! I want your cock, master!” You project. Kylo finally thrusts inside of you. Immediately, you lose strength in your arms. You fall forward but Kylo holds your hips keeping your lower half up so he will not slip out of you.

“Oh, master! Yes! It feels so good!” You cry loving his hardness slamming into you.

“Of course, you do. You love my cock. You can’t even go a day without it.” He acts as if he is not the one who renewed your deal of having daily sex as a requirement.

“I can’t, master. I always need your cock. I need you all the time, master. I want you all the time, master,” You whine. Your words are honest though. You do want Ben all of the time though not just sexually.

Your insides begin twitching. You know you are about cum again. You feel him increasing his speed in you.

“Master, I need to cum. Please, let me cum!” You alert him and beg. Kylo turns you over making you lie in your back. He does not stop moving. You look at the slits meant to protect his eyes.

“Master, let me see your face! Please, I want to see your face when I cum,” You reach up for his helmet. He grabs your hands and pushes them down to either side of your head.

“No,” He rejects your request.

“Please, master. I want to see your face. I love your face. Please, master,” You keep begging.

“No.”

“Please! I can’t cum unless I see your eyes, master. Please!”

Kylo grunts but lets go of your hands. He removes his mask and slams it next your head. His hair is stuck against his forehead and cheeks. You look into his eyes. You lose yourself in the galaxy hidden in them. His hand goes down to your clit. He thumbs it knowing it will make you finish. You reach up for his mask with your free hand.

“Oh ahh!” You end up gripping the helmet’s mouth guard as you orgasm. Kylo’s hips shake as he too has reached completion. He leans down pressing where his forehead against yours. You put your arms around his neck. Pull him down and press your lips onto his. Your hands go into his hair as your tongue goes into his mouth. His kisses are sweeter than honey. You do not want to free his mouth but you know you must. 

“Thank you, Master,” you continue with the title. He gives you a light kiss then moves. He gets off and out of you. He grabs your pants and shoes and redresses you. He is very careful as he does so. He gets up and pulls you up after him. He gets his and your lightsabers.

“You will need to go back to our room, clean up and dress. You will meet me in the room where we ate lunch yesterday. We will dine with Hux and discuss the next planet on our tour,” Kylo gives you a verbal to-do list.

“Yes, master” You take your lightsaber from him and put it on you belt. You sneak in one more kiss then start to walk away. You use the force to unlock the doors that Kylo locked earlier.

You do all that you master had asked. You pick a conservative black, velvet dress. The neckline starts at the base of your neck, the sleeves are long and the hem comes to your ankles. The dress is no too clingy which you like given your constantly changing weight.

You go to the room where you ate the day before. It will be different today. Captain Gork will not be staring you down during the meal which will make it far more enjoyable even if you have to eat with General Hux.

You enter the room and see Hux already seated. He does not stand when you enter. Instead he looks like can smell shit coming from you. You know that cannot be the case as you just showered and used a floral soap.

“Hello, General Hux,” You greet him trying to be polite.

“Hello, Lady Ren,” He nods his head toward you. You take your spot in the chair you took yesterday. You two sit in an awkward silence. Kylo has not arrived yet. You wonder what could be keeping him…

General Hux taps his foot growing impatient. He knows the droids will not serve the food till everyone slotted for the meal has arrived. However there are glasses of water on the table.

“Do you know what is keeping your husband, Lady Ren?” The general inquires after your spouse. I would make sense for you to know of his location but alas you do not know.

“I have no idea, General Hux,” You answer.

“You don’t? I thought you two were constantly up each other’s asses,” his aggravation has made his tongue sharp and disrespectful. You know he has no respect for you unless in the presence of someone else. You know he must be frustrated with your impromptu promotion over him yesterday as well. He begins to drink from his glass.

“No. I try to limit how much anal we do,” You take sip of water. Hux chokes on his water at your remark. You smirk to yourself as he tries to regain his composure. He coughs several times till finally his airways are cleared.

“Are you alright, General Hux?” You pretend to be concerned about his health.

“I’m fine,” He takes another breath. As much as you enjoyed seeing him choking and flustered, you figure that if you are going to be with him for long amounts of time over the next few weeks, you might not want to always have this heavy air of hostility and awkwardness. You turn to him.

“General Hux, could we…could we try to start over? I know you don’t like me at all. You’ve tried to have me executed twice now. But I think going forward we should try to be…friendly. It would make times like this less awkward and hostile. And don’t you think it would be beneficial to the First Order for their members to get along?” You propose the change in your attitudes.

General Hux keeps his face neutral. His air is stoic. He must be considering your proposal.

“Is this some sort of test Ren has come up with? Is he trying to see if I will play nice with his little who-wife? Hux stops himself from saying ‘whore’. He knows if you tell Kylo of the comment, Ren may choke him like he did Captain Gork.

“No. Commander Ren does not care enough about you for him to test how well we get along,” You take jab at Hux’s sense of importance to the Commander. With his tongue in his cheek, Hux leans back in his chair.

“If you want to stay in this uncomfortable, antagonistic acquaintanceship, that’s fine. I’m happy as long as I am in the company of my husband. But if you don’t want to feel like the odd man out in every meeting that will occur with Commander Ren and myself - which will be increasing, by the way, as he has decided to take me with you two on your negotiations - I would agree to making an effort to restart this relationship on an amicable note,” You point out the future to him.

You see his skin turning red like his hair. He must not like the news that you will also be joining the negotiations. You do not really care if he likes it or not. You are not going for the sake of negotiating. You are going to essentially house hunt. That’s not any of Hux’s business though. 

“What do you say, General Hux?” You want to know his choice.

The door opens. Kylo enters and you both stand up. He takes his seat and looks to you. He apologizes solely to you for his tardiness. The droids bring in the food. Once they leave, Kylo tasks of his helmet to eat. You are surprised when you see his hair has been fixed. When did he do that?

“So, our next destination is Shaum Hii, correct?” Kylo looks to General Hux.

“Yes. We will arrive tomorrow. The intelligence I have received has said that the council of the planet are divided on whether or not to join us,” General Hux takes a bite of his salad.

“Did your intelligence give away what keeps half of them from agreeing to join?”

“No. I am sure we will discover the cause tomorrow. I do know that they are highly conservative when it comes to clothing. You may want to consider wearing something modest like that tomorrow, Lady Ren,” General Hux acknowledges you. Is this him accepting your offer? You are not sure.

“Oh, then I will take your advice, General Hux,” You show that you are listening to him.

“So, you know I am bringing her with us then, General Hux?” Kylo picks up that the general knows some of it from his suggestion.

“Yes, Lady Ren informed me of the decision. I would prefer if you would consult me on such matters as adding members to our group, Commander Ren,” General Hux points out the issue he has.

“I do not answer to you, _general_. I should not have to consult with you if I want my wife to be with me,” Kylo stabs the meat on his plate. You put your hand on Kylo’s forearm.

“I am sure General Hux is just surprised. This is short notice after all and could possibly affect the manner in which he was planning on negotiating. I’m sure he did not mean to question your ability to bring me along. Right, General Hux?” You continue to show your willingness to be his ‘friend’. His answer now will tell you what he has decided. He presses his lips together then opens his mouth.

“Yes. You are right, Lady Ren,” he nods. You smile. He accepted. Kylo looks at you then Hux. The agreements are strange but he will say nothing about it.

“What are your plans then, General Hux?” Kylo opens the floor to the other man. You sit and listen. You hope this will be the beginning to a smoother trip.


	64. Two Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! I've started back to work so updating may be slower. I'm not going to stop writing so please, don' stop reading! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 64

It has been two weeks since the tour of outer rim planets began. You have been to about twelve different planets on this trip. None are satisfactory as none compare to Naboo. But you do not mind visiting the planets. It is interesting to see these new worlds and their differing cultures. You especially like watching Kylo work. He never cowers or falters from his mission even when he had to face the mountain giants of Thila. Seeing his lack of fear and experiencing his commanding presence has more often than not led to you needing to make love to him after leaving the meetings.

A routine has developed over the course of these weeks. You breakfast with Ben in your chambers each morning. He either takes you to a sparring room to train you on physical feats or he keeps you in the room to train your mind. He has become practically unable to read your mind at all these days. You are glad as you still harbor some information from him. After whatever training Ben picks, your lunch with him and Hux to discuss whatever planet your group will be going to visit. If you do not visit a planet, you go back to the room to nap as you find yourself sleepier than usual lately. If you are to visit a planet, you stick close to Kylo. Either way, by the end of the day you eat with Ben in your room and go to bed with him as well. There is always at least one if no more points in the day you and Ben give into your carnal natures.

At the beginning of each week, Ben did make you visit the ship’s doctor, the cold handed Dr. Jorner. He was hardly interested in the prenatal check ups but would never say such a thing before Kylo who came with you each time. You definitely prefer Dr. Ryza to this man. You will be pleased when you can be her patient again.

Funnily enough General Hux had not been as cold as he had been before to you. He is not friendly. He is just…civil and polite. He does include in conversations now. In return you do your best to persuade Kylo to consider Hux’s ideas when you agree with them.

In these passing weeks you have only been able to contact Han once. You have called thrice but he only successfully answered one time last week. Fortunately, it was not during your daily rendezvous with Ben.

“Han,” You smiled to yourself when you heard his voice. There was an exchange of inquiries after each other’s health.

“So where are you now, Han?” You sat on the bed with the transmitter in hand.

“We are headed back to Naboo.”

“Ah, I wish I were going there too. Will you go see Jyn?” You asked hoping that he would.

“Yeah. I know Chewie really wants to see her.”

“Can you tell her that I miss her?” You put in your request.

“Mhm.”

“Thank you.”

“So, where are you now?” Han brought up the issue of your location again. You knew that he knows you are with Ben. He heard you two fucking after all.

“You must know that I am back with Kylo Ren and the First Order…” Your stomach hurt when you told him. You still worried he would be disappointed in you.

“Why?” He asked surprising you.

“Why? Well…I had to choose whether to save Jyn and go back to the First Order or let Jyn and the people of Naboo suffer while I ran off with Poe. I chose Jyn. I’m sure you would do the same for Chewie,” You would hope he would choose to save his best friend. You continued with your other reason as well. “Also, I do love Ben. I want to be with him and have him in the lives of our children. I hope that…that by being with him, I can persuade him to…change. Maybe now that we are married and expecting children, he will rethink his path.”

“You two are married?” Han had not known this information. You had forgotten to enlighten him of this. Han struggled to process that his son is married. Once Ben had gone to train with Luke, Han thought that Ben might never marry. It was not the Jedi way. When Han learned of his son’s dalliance with you, he thought it was just that. He never thought Ben would marry you. He is not upset though.

“Yes. He knows of the twins and he is excited for fatherhood,” You shared more with your father-in-law. Han was even more shocked. Ben is excited for fatherhood? Han himself had been excited when he learned of Leia’s pregnancy. Fear came over him several time during the pregnancy however as he thought more about the responsibility he was going to have. Then Ben was born and he was elated. He had never loved anything like he loved Ben. Leia often said she was tied with Chewie for third in his heart. Ben was first but the Millenium Falcon was a close second. Han doubts that Ben knows that though. He knows he failed in fatherhood. Han hopes that his son will not repeat his mistakes with his children.

“I know that things between you and Ben are not…great but I want both of you in the twins’ lives. They should have their father and grandfather,” You finally told him what you really want.

The idea of being with his grandchildren and son is a lovely one. It is a simple fantasy that most fathers have when their children are having children. But it is just that, a fantasy. Han knows that such a thing will be impossible until Ben turns from the First Order and the dark side. But can you turn him?

“We’ll see, kid.”

“I suppose we will…”

The two of you were silent for several moments.

“I will be arriving on Naboo soon. Is there anything else you want me to do while I am there?” Han wanted to know if there was anything he could actually do for you.

“Besides talking to Jyn? Um…well, actually…” You did not forget the things you left behind. “Could you go to Jyn’s townhome and get my Kade Genti comics?”

“You didn’t read those before you left?” Han huffed. He could not believe of all things you want the comic books.

“No. I did not have time. If you could get those and bring them to me, I will be very grateful.”

“How would I bring them to you? I cannot bring them to the First Order. I don’t even know where the First Order is,” Han pointed out the problem.

“I’m not on base. We are traveling in the Outer Rim territories. You know you could-you could meet me on one of these planets. We could meet and you could given them to me and you find another client to smuggle for,” You brought up the option.

“That’s very dangerous, kid. If we get caught, I could get killed and you…well, I don’t know what would happen to you,” Han was concerned more than you.

“I would be fine. No one is allowed to harm me including Ben. I could protect you and make sure you are not caught,” You tried to persuade him.

“I don’t know, kid.”

“Please, Han, I really want to see you. I…I need to see a real a friend.” It is true. You have not seen a close real friend in weeks. The last one you saw was Eight-Seven. No one on the Finalizer is a real friend. You only have Ben. You love Ben and your time with him. But sometimes one still needs a friend who is not also her lover.

“Kid, I…” Han was not sure if he should give into your plea or not. Seeing you would be nice and he might even catch a glimpse of his son…but as he said, it would be dangerous.

“If you can’t, I understand,” Your voice held defeat and disappointment. The sound was one familiar to Han though the voice he knows to hold those tones belongs to Leia. He often disappointed her when he would not come back to Chandrila because he had a job. He knows now what a mistake it all was.

“What planets are you heading to?” Han made you start to smile in optimism.

“Over the next week we are going to Toprawa, Serenno, Praadost, Thila, Ferro, Tantive, Cadomai, and then Bonadan,” You listed the planets that had yet to be visited at that time.

“I can try to meet you on Bonadan next week. Do you think you can do that?” Han made your heart jump in joy at the possibility of meeting.

“Yes! I can contact you when we are near there to set a place to meet!” You were giddy. Han smiled hearing the glee in your voice. It had been a long time since anyone besides Chewie expressed any happiness at the possibility of seeing him.

“Alright, kid. I have to go now. We are about to land in Naboo,” Han had to get off the transmitter.

“I’ll see you on Bonadan then, old man,” You ended the call contentedly.

Now you stand in your room with the transmitter in your hand. Ben believe you are dressing to go see the leaders of this planet. You have dressed in accordance to the ways of the planet as advised by General Hux. General Hux described the planet as a luxurious, cosmopolitan planet. The more he described it, the more you thought it sounded like Canto Bight. You know your clothing cannot be subpar on this planet. Even though Ben said you could wear whatever you wanted because he did not care, you know that if you look anything less than striking and rich, the leaders will not take you seriously.

You picked a mauve, chiffon a-line gown with a deep v cut to show off your cleavage. Your belt is placed around your upper waist making you have some shape but allowing your swelling abdomen to be hidden with the flowing chiffon. Your trumpet sleeves are mostly see-through. You wish that you had your Kessel pendant as it would have made the perfect accessory to this outfit but it was worth losing to bribe Brother Bracken to marry you and Ben.

You look at your reflection in the mirror as you wait for Han to answer your call. You tuck some of your hair behind your ear as you pray that he answers.

“Hey, kid,” His voice is welcomed by your ears.

“Hey, old man,” You respond.

“Chewie and I are almost to Bonadan.”

“Wonderful. Ben and I are about to shuttle there to meet with some leaders. He told me we will be here for at least two days as the ship needs fueling and restocking. I should have enough time to see you,” You inform him of the plans.

“Okay.”

“I’ve never been here before. Have you?”

“Yes. Do you want me to pick a spot?”

“Yes, please.”

Han pauses and tries to think of a safe location. He would prefer a seedy cantina to meet but that would not be a safe area for you and harder for a member of the First Order to reach. The spot would have to be somewhere with enough people that it is common for all types to be there and for no one to notice him.

“There’s a bazaar in the center of the capital city. To get anywhere, people have to pass through there. There are public bathrooms on the south wall. I can meet you there,” Han picks the spot.

“Um, alright. I don’t know what hour I will be able to arrive there,” You admit your lack of ability to pick your time.

“I will worry about that. You just get there at some point in the next two days. Okay?”

“Okay.” You agree. You sense Ben coming. “I have to go, Han. I’ll meet you soon.”

You end the call and tuck away the transmitter under the mattress again. The door opens and Kylo enters. You smile your masked husband. He stops. You cannot tell if he is looking you over or not.

“It is time to go,” He informs you.

“Great,” You walk to his side. You two leave together. You almost cannot stop smiling. You are so excited that you will get to see Han and maybe Chewie. Maybe you will be able to convince Han once you are in person to come with you and talk with Ben. You would love to reconcile the men. This may be your only chance.


	65. Bonadan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! Thank for you the comments and kudos. Please enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 65

Exiting the Command Shuttle, you do not leave Kylo’s side. As it is just you, he and General Hux coming to the planet, you stick close as you do not know this planet. You easily learn that Kylo does not either has General Hux takes the lead in directing the way where you all are to meet the leaders of Bonadan.

The capital city reminds you much of Canto Bight yet it does not. The streets here are made of smooth slate and the buildings are cut from black stone. The windows in them are cut into various types of triangles. But like Canto Bight there is an air of expense in everything. The people do not wear outrageous clothes but they still finer than that of the other outer rim planets. You are glad you dressed the way you have as you appear more like these cheery people you pass.

“Ahead is a bazaar so ignore the salesmen,” General Hux advises as he points away to the distant booths. You see that people crowd around each booth looking over the goods that are to be sold. It reminds you slightly of the market on Naboo. You know this must be the bazaar that Han spoke of today. He will be here soon. Walking through the path meant for pedestrians to go through the bazaar, you look for the south wall. You struggle to figure out what way is south and to see above the scores of people for any signage of a public restroom.

“Is something wrong?” Kylo notices your turning head and eyes. You shake your head and give a smile.

“No, I’m just looking around at all the booths,” You partially lie. He returns to silence.

Passing through the bazaar, the road becomes calmer. You look back once more toward the bazaar. It is now on the other side that you notice along the wall an opening and sign indicating it is for public use. Is that the restroom? You cannot go check it out now. You have the meeting with the Bonadan leaders.

Continuing south, the buildings grow larger but keep the style of black stone and triangle windows. Ahead you can see a large dome. Unlike the black stone buildings, it is white. The windows are oval and misted. It is not an eyesore but it is a great contrast. As you near the white stone steps that lead to a half circle door, you can clearly see two guards dressed in white stand by the door. Unlike troopers, they have no helmets and no armor. Their white clothes look to be made of light silk. But they still have large electric spears. The guards put out their spears to block entry. General Hux stops before them. Kylo stops and you copy him.

“What business do you have here?” The left guard asks.

“We are the First Order. We are to meet with the leaders of Bonadan,” General Hux answers.

“There are no mean allowed beyond this point,” The right guard speaks up.

“What?” Both Kylo and Hux dislike this news.

“No men are allowed into the inner sanctum of the Bonadan leaders unless they are citizens of Bonadan,” The left clarifies the conditions.

“The lady may enter on your behalf,” The right nods to you. You are surprised at the suggestion.

“General Hux,” Kylo calls the general in a harsh tone, “Step aside with me.”

General Hux and Kylo step away from the guards.

“Why did you not know of this rule?”

“I have never heard of it! I had no idea this would happen. We can go back to the ship and contact Supreme Leader Snoke. He will know what to do,” General Hux begins to turn to leave. Kylo grabs his arm.

“No. There is no need to contact him. We have an easy solution,” Kylo lets go of the redhead.

“And what is that, Ren?”

Kylo turns his had so the face of his mask is toward you.

“Lady Ren will negotiate for us.”

“What?” It is your turn to express shock simultaneously with General Hux.

“Her? She knows nothing of negotiations and term setting,” General Hux voices his reasons to not support this.

“She has seen us do it. I am sure she will be more than capable to represent the First Order,” Kylo has too much confidence in you.

“I don’t know, Master…I’ve only ever negotiated with you,” You remember what lead to your marriage. General Hux rolls his eyes. He can imagine what “negotiations” you two have had.

“You will do this. Consider it apart of your training,” Kylo will not let you pass on this opportunity of sorts. He points for you to go. You walk back to the guards.

“I am here for the First Order,” You tell them. The guards look to each other, nod and move their spears. The half circle door opens. You look back to Kylo and Hux. You can hear Hux thinking “Don’t fuck this up”. You swallow the lump forming in your throat. The air is cold inside. Outside had not been hot or particularly warm but stepping inside is almost like stepping into an ice box. You shiver involuntarily.

The hall is wide and kept in the half-circle chape. There are oval misted windows that allow in light but otherwise there is nothing in the hall. At the end of the hall, another door can be seen. Another set of guards are there. They do not try to impede your entrance. Instead they step aside so you three can easily pass through the door when it opens.

The coldness disappears as you step into high ceiling circular room. The ceiling goes so high is seems it does not end. There are at least a hundred oval windows over the ceiling allowing in more light. The circle walls have several half circle doors. You wonder where they lead. In the center of the room, is a round pedestal where three chairs stand with three persons sitting in the them. The steps leading to these chairs go all around the pedestal.

Looking up you see the leaders wear white silk gowns that are so loose the bodies seem shapeless. Their faces are veiled as well leaving them faceless to you. Most would find it strange but you have lived all of your life with people who have their faces constantly covered from your fellow troopers to Captain Phasma to your own husband.

One stands up.

“Madam, welcome to Bonadan. I am Madame Balilo. You must Commander Ren,” She speaks to you and assumes incorrectly. The voice is very feminine.

“Thank you for your welcome, Madame Balilo. But I am _Lady_ Ren. Commander Ren and General Hux were told their gender prevented them from entry here,” You give the corrections and inform the leader of the regulations. You hope they will appreciate that Kylo and General Hux respected their rules.

“Oh, I apologize for the wrong assumption. But tell us, Lady Ren, what has brought you here to Bonadan?” Madame Balilo inquires.

“We come on behalf of the First Order,” You reply.

“The First Order?”

“Yes. Supreme Leader Snoke has sent me and my comrades here in the hope that your planet and the First Order may be of use to each other,” You try to phrase it in a way that is appealing.

“We know that our oil lakes, corusca mines, and handmade goods are highly desirable assets to all in the galaxy. We are constantly being asked to join differing government systems. Currently we are apart of the Corporate Sector Authority which is its own independent government. What does the First Order have that would even tempt us to associating with them?” Madame Balilo crosses her arms.

“Your planet is an exceptional one which is why the First Order desires to protect it,” You state.

“Protect? From what?” A second members stands. The voice also sounds female. You have to remember what Kylo and Hux used to say in the other meetings.

“Bonadan has no military system, correct?”

“We have the Corporate Sector Authority Security Police,” The second speaker answers.

“Which is similar to the police on Cantonica, correct?” You recall the police there.

“Yes.” Madame Balilo nods.

“So Bonadan has no real military. The police can handle local problems but is Bonadan prepared for an interplanetary war?” You bring up the problem.

“An interplanetary war? There is no war going on. There hasn’t been an interplanetary war in nearly thirty years,” The second speaker huffs.

“And yet your black-market business in weapon trading is booming. It has increased by fifty percent in the last three months,” You bring up the factoid that you had overheard Hux reading over on the flight to Bonadan.

The veiled leaders say nothing. They know better than to confirm their black-market business. As the leaders of the planet they are supposed to ignorant of such dealings. The spy Hux had on the planet who gave him many facts shared that the leaders do know.

“Though a war has yet to begin, sides are being formed. The First Order offers Bonadan its protection when such dire times come to fruition. We have an excellent military that is constantly ready and able to defend the people who have promised allegiance to the First Order. Our stormtroopers are prepared to lay down their lives so yours do not have to do so,” Your words are not your own but again words you have heard General Hux say before in other meetings.

“Oh, really? So, you’re saying that the First Order has a well-trained army full of troopers who are willing to die for the sake of a bunch of strangers who could give a damn about them?” Number Two is very hostile.

“Yes. We have been trained since childhood to know our place is to protect those who cannot protect themselves and to fight for the First Order till we cannot fight anymore,” You remember your trooper training and add some flourish.

“You say ‘we’. You do not dress like a trooper,” Madame Balilo points out your clothing.

“I was a trooper but I have grown out of that position. So, if anyone could tell you of what our troopers are willing to do, it is I,” You share the small detail of your past.

The Bonadan leaders are quiet again before Madame Balilo speaks once more.

“What is it that the First Order wants from Bonadan in exchange for this future protection?”

“We merely ask for the allegiance of Bonadan which would include a fifteen percent gift of your mineral resources each month, the ending off _all_ weapon dealings with non-First Order members, and the allowance of troopers to be stationed about the planet,” You give the terms. These were the terms discussed the day before at lunch. The three members scoff at the terms.

“That is ridiculous!” Number two stands up appalled at your apparent audacity to ask for such things. Your face remains neutral.

“We understand that your economy may dip for a few months once your black-market is limited but it not the comfort of knowing your people are safe worth that?”

“And what is no war comes, Lady Ren? Will be reimbursed?” Madame Balilo brings up.

“I do not have the authority to say. My hu-my commander Kylo Ren would know more of that. But as he is a man and not allowed in here, your answer may go unanswered,” You point out the issue of denying Kylo access.

“So, what will happen if we refuse these terms and reject swearing allegiance to the First Order?” The second speaker has the rather important query.

You know what _could_ happen. Orders could be given for an invasion to take over the planet and the resources. It will be a slaughter, a massacre. You have been apart of such endeavors before when you were a trooper. Of course, this action on a planet as popular as this could result in turning this cold war into a heated one. Telling them this could cause them to become upset and think you are threatening them. This can lead them to rejecting your proposal. You do not want to fail. Kylo will be disappointed and General Hux will never let you live it down You also do not know if you can tell them the results of the refusal. It will invoke fear. Though fear is a tool often used by the First Order and one you have used yourself, you do not know if it will go over well here.

“We are willing to negotiate till we find a compromise,” You bring up the other option.

“And if we cannot find a pleasing compromise and ask for your departure?” Number two keeps being negative.

“Then…I will leave with my commander and general. We will return with this news and wait for further instruction from Supreme Leader Snoke. What he says to do we will…even if I do not like it,” You will not do into detail.

“Are you implying that the First Order will attack us upon our refusal?” Madame Balilo wants a clear answer.

“That will be up to Supreme Leader Snoke.”

The two standing members turn their backs to you and whisper to the still seated third member. You stand nervous about what they will decide. You hope they will defer to the First Order but you fear they will not.

The third member stands and is much shorter than the other two. Her voice is gravelly and low.

“Lady Ren, as the leaders Bonadan, we are in charge of making sure that the best is done for our people. Their burdens are our burdens. We are in charge of making sure our citizens are fed, sheltered, protected, and free. Swearing allegiance to the First Order may provide protection for a _possible_ war but it will limit us on our ability to take care of our people and their abilities to make their own livelihoods. We put our people before ourselves. Every citizen on this planet is a member of our family. You may not understand this. Militant groups seldom do. And having learned that you are former trooper, we have reason to doubt your ability to relate to our situation as you may have never had a family of your own that was not a government fixture,” The short woman explains and slightly calls you out on you possibly lack of ability to understand their problem. But you do.

“I do understand your difficult decision here. But I am a mother. I do know what it is to make a hard choice that will directly affect those you care about and love. I too was faced with the choice of either submitting myself and children to the First Order or not. I was promised protection for my children and limited freedoms with the First Order. My other choice…I was given unlimited freedom but I would always have targets on my back and the backs of my children. I would have to live a life in fear. I would have to wonder when would be the day my loved ones would be taken from me because I could not protect them or myself. I chose the First Order. Now I can rest knowing that my children will be safe and when the war comes and goes, they will remain,” Your words are not lies. You chose the First Order for Ben’s sake but you are not wrong in what the First Order will provide for your children. If you had gone with Poe…who knows what dangers you and your children would have to face.

The three women turn to each other once more. They speak in their hushed tones so you cannot hear them. The short one steps forward.

“If you will consent to bring the percentage down to ten percent every month instead of fifteen, then we will align ourselves with the First Order,” she gives a condition. Twelve percent is least the First Order will accept.

“Twelve percent and we will have a deal,” You return. The women sigh.

“Twelve percent then,” Madame Balilo speaks for the group now. They begin descending the steps till they reach the floor where you stand.

“Come, we will draw up the paper work,” Madame Balilo and the other leaders lead you toward one of the side doors. You pass through another cold hall before reaching another door. It opens to allow the four of your into a room made of glass but filled with lush green plants and vibrant flowers. There are tables and chair in there. The women pull out two rolls of parchment. You stay with them and go through the process of making contracts. You see when they sign their names the Number two is called Madame Noonri and the short one is Madame Orvaleen. You sign your name to the documents. You are given your copy. You lead back the way you came.

You step into the cold hallway you had first entered. You enjoy the coolness now. You did not know how hot your nerves had made you during that meeting. You leave the hall and find yourself back at the front entrance. General Hux waits there btu Kylo is gone.

“Where is Commander Ren?” You ask General Hux as you approach him.

“He is arranging a meeting with a weapons dealer here. But what has happened with the leaders?” General Hux’s hands stay behind his back. You present the contract to General Hux. Ge takes it and opens it. As he reads over it, his eyes grow wider and wider. He rolls up the paper.

“I can’t believe you did it,” General Hux is baffled but pleased. He even starts to relax his body. “Well done, Sly.”

General Hux’s praise is unexpected but not received unwell. It is strange but you still like the praise from your former superior.

“Thank you, General.”

“We should locate Commander Ren,” General Hux turns to start walking. You keep close to him but not as close as you would with Kylo.

“How did you convince them?” General Hux begins to question your way to success.

“Having seen you and Commander Ren in previous meetings I did my best to repeat your words and the facts you have learned and shared with me during lunch and on the ship ride over here. I was just a voice to your notes,” Your answer makes Hux straighten up a bit pridefully as he believes without him you would have failed. Still, he likes that you have listened to him and you are not taking credit. It is a rare thing for him to see.

“But what really seemed to convince them was relating their predicament to my own,” You add.

“Your predicament?” General Hux raises and eyebrow.

“Well, yes, about choosing what is best for one’s family. They view the planet as their family and want to choose what is best for it while I am pregnant and must choose what is best for them. I chose the First Order and now they have as well,” You elucidate. General Hux stops. He turns fully to you.

“You’re pregnant?”

“Yes. Didn’t Commander Ren tell you?”

The dipping eyebrows and pressed lips on Hux’s pale face give away that Kylo did not. Now, you wonder if you were supposed to keep it a secret from the general. But how will you keep your twins a secret when they are born? You figure it is better for the general to know now.

“Well, I am pregnant with Commander Ren’s twins,” You add the extra news of you carrying multiples.

“Twins!” General Hux exclaims then immediately calms himself. He did not mean to have such an outburst.

“I suppose I should congratulate you then,” His tone is anything but celebratory.

“Thank you.”

“Does Supreme Leader Snoke know?” He does not forget their leader.

“Yes. He is very…excited,” You answer though thinking of Snoke makes your stomach lurch. General Hux nods his head.

“Well, now it makes more sense as to why Supreme Leader Snoke insisted on you coming along with us,” General Hux resumes walking. You know General Hux has been opposed to your presence but at least he has more clarity.

“I hope I have not been a burden on you, General,” You are not sincere as you do not care if you have been.

“I suppose having you with us has not been entirely burdensome. You have brokered this deal with Bonadan and have made Kylo listen to me during our meetings,” General Hux points out the positives of your company.

“You do have good ideas _sometimes_ ,” You tease him though after saying it you are not sure if he hears the playful tone in your voice. He chuffs having heard your inflection and receiving it as it was intended.

You look ahead and smile seeing your husband approaching. You hurry your steps toward him while General Hux keeps his normal pace and returns to a non-expressive look.

“Master,” you want to hug him but restrain yourself.

“What has happened with the Bonadan leaders?” He asks straight away. General Hux reaches the two of you and hands over the contract.

“She was able to convince them to agree to our terms,” General Hux puts his hands behind his back. You watch Kylo read over it before turning toward you. You smile waiting for his praise.

“We will be attending a party with Baga Tetron tonight at his home. There we will discuss our weapons trade,” Kylo informs General Hux as he rolls up the contract. He hands it back to General Hux. Kylo spins around and starts walking on to head back toward where the command shuttle is. General Hux starts walking as well. You stand confused. Is Kylo not pleased with your work? Why did not say anything about it?

Seeing them getting several feet ahead of you, you start walking to catch up to them. You position yourself behind Hux as you are not sure of Kylo’s feelings at this time.

You see that you will cross through the bazaar again. You wonder if Han has arrived yet. You see the alcove for the restrooms as you near the bazaar. You can check. You make your way to Kylo’s side.

“I need to use the restroom,” You whisper to him.

“There is one on the shuttle,” He responds.

“I need to go now. There is one there,” You point to the public ones. Kylo stops.

“Go quickly,” He allows you. You walk quickly toward the opening while Kylo and Hux stay in their spot. You look back and see them speaking which will distract them for a time. Knowing you are out of Kylo’s sight you walk in the cave like hallway. There is a door on the left marked for females while the door on the left is marked for males. A few persons pass through the hall not stopping as they use the hall as another path through the bazaar. You stand by the bathroom door waiting to see if Han will come. The door to the males’ restroom opens. You grin seeing the gray-haired smuggler you have been waiting for come out.

“Han!” You exclaim and hug him. He blushes at your physical affection but does not push you away. When you let go of him, he pushes back some of your hair. Your smiling face reaffirms his visit here was the right thing to do.

“Hey, kid,” He gives you a smile.

“I’m so glad you are here.”

“I can tell. You look well,” He comments.

“Thank you. So, do you. Is Chewie with you?” You look for the Wookie.

“He’s on the ship. Wookies don’t blend in well here.”

Han is right. A giant Wookie would stand out even at the bazaar.

“I understand.”

“I brought what you asked for though,” Han opens his jacket and pulls out the folded comics, “I had to fold them to back them fit.”

You take them almost greedily.

“That’s okay. Thank you for bringing them to me.”

Han nods his head but is quiet. He is not sure of what to say or do now. He would ask her to come to his ship so they could talk more and she could see Chewie but he knows he cannot. The Firs Order must be nearby. His son should be nearby as well. As Han thinks, you have folded the comics more and stuffed them into your thick belt. You may look thicker in the waist but that is fine with you to have you comics.

“Is…is he near?” Han asks.

“Ben? Yes. He is waiting for me out there,” You answer.

“He is?” Han’s eyebrows shoot up. His heart begins to pound. He has not been this close to seeing his son in years and years. He wonders how his son looks now. Does he still have those dark eyes that pierce his heart like his mother? Is he handsome or has Snoke warped his body in addition to his mind? Would he greet his father with the smile he always did as a child when Han would return from a job? Or would he shoot him at first glimpse?

You grab Han’s hand.

“You should come see him,” You encourage. You believe that having the men make actual physical contact would help their relationship.

“I…I don’t know about that, Meia,” He does not pull away though.

“He’s your son. Don’t you want to see him?” You want him to come with you.

“I do but-”

“Come then, Han. Come see your son.” You tug on his hand. Han starts to take a step to go but he stops. If he goes out there who knows what will happen. Fear consumes Han. The possible outcomes terrify him. Death of himself and Chewie are the end result of the many scenarios that flash through his head. He is afraid.

“Han, come. Please,” You tug his hand again.

“I’m-I’m sorry, kid. I can’t. I…I have to go. I have to get back to Chewie,” Han pulls his hand out of yours. You grab him again.

“Han, please. Come and see him. I won’t let anyone hurt you. Just come see him even from a distance,” You tighten your hold. Surely, seeing him from a distance will give Han the courage to come closer.

Han’s feet move though his mind does not want to go. You lead him by the hand to the edge of the alcove. Han hides mostly behind the wall and looks out to the street where many Bonadanians walk. IN the midst is General Hux and Kylo talking. Han knows that Hux is not his son.

“He is the one in the black helmet,” You point Kylo out to Han. Han can see even from here that his son has grown very tall. He had always joked that Ben would be big like a Wookie. Now he sees his son’s stature is nearly as high as Chewie’s. With the helmet on he can see nothing of his son’s face.

“Why does he wear the helmet?” Han asks, “Is he disfigured?”

“No. He is _very_ handsome. I am not sure why but he wears in public.”

“It reminds me of Vader…” Han mumbles. He recalls the terrifying masked Imperial leader. He still cannot believe that man was his father-in-law. Seeing his son dressed like the Sith lord, Han shudders. It is unsettling and shows him how far his son has gone to become like his grandfather.

“Come and speak to him,” You urge.

“No,” Han steps back.

“I know he looks First Order, but trust me, he is still Ben inside. Come, and see for yourself,” You try to take his arm.

“No.” Han steps out of your reach.

“Why not?” You do not understand.

“What would I say? ‘Hey, Ben, congratulations on your marriage. Now, take off that mask and come home with me?’” Han gives the line that more than likely would not work.

“Well, no, but-”

“I haven’t talked to him in years. I do not know what to say or do. I can’t…I can’t speak with him. Not yet. I’m not-I’m not- I’m not ready.” Han shakes his head. He is already defeated.

“Han, please,” You step close to him. Looking into your eyes is like looking in Leia and Ben’s when they would ask him not to leave. His hand goes to your cheek as he did the last time that he left you.

“I’m sorry, kid. Maybe next time,” He takes away his hand leaves. You frown watching him walk away. You keep your eyes on his gray head till you no longer see it in the bazaar. You force yourself to turn around. You go out the other entrance to where Kylo and General Hux still wait.

“I’m sorry to have made you wait,” You apologize.

“Let us waste no more time now,” Kylo starts walking. You drag your feet behind the men. Your heart is heavy. This opportunity for father and son to reconcile has been foiled and by Han’s fear. Why could he not be the brave general from rebellion days? Why could he not muster some confidence like when he is scamming and smuggling? Is he that afraid of rejection from his son?

Even though you know Ben knows nothing of his father’s presence on the planet, your heart hurts for him. He would never admit but Ben misses his father. Had Han revealed himself, Ben’s heart surely would be altered. But Han was…a coward. He has greatly saddened you. You do not hate the man but you are disappointed in him.

You all reach the command shuttle that quickly takes you back to the Finalizer. General Hux takes the contract away and Kylo silently begins escorting you to your shared room.

“What’ wrong with you?” Kylo asks in hushed tones.

“Huh? Oh, nothing,” You put on a smile.

“Are you pouting because I didn’t praise you immediately for your success?” He asks turning into the hall that leads to the bedroom. 

“What? No. No. I was disappointed but-” You shake your head but you don’t finish your statement as Kylo opens the bedroom door. You two go inside and he pulls of his head immediately. His hands take either side of your face before he kisses you. You are shocked by the sudden kiss.

“I am very proud of you,” He removes his lips from yours. He gives a tender smile. You can smile sincerely now.

“You could have told me that on Bonadan,” You pick at him.

“I couldn’t kiss you on Bonadan so…”

“I see. You can freely kiss me as much as you want now,” You grab at his clothes and pull him close again making his nose bump against you face. Neither of you care. Instead he just kisses you again. It is a sweet reward.

His hands run up and down your body as your hands do the same. You want to feel closer to him. His hand goes to your belt buckle. He undoes it and immediately remember what is there. It is too late. As the belt falls so do the comics. Ben pulls back and looks down to the floor have heard multiple thuds. You watch terrified as he bends down and picks up the comics. He stares at the last two editions of the Kade Genti series. His eyes come back to your face. You cower not knowing how he will react.


	66. Baga's Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, dear Readers! I know it has been a long time since I've updated, but I am still writing. Thank you for the comments and kudos. Please, feel free to let me know what you think. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 66

“What the fuck?” Ben mutters holding the Kade Genti comics in his hands. You do not know what to say or do.

“Is this what you were doing instead of going to the bathroom on Bonadan? You were buying fucking comic books? Don’t lie to me.” He starts to crush the comics in his hands. You lower your head. You should not lie to him but…how will he react to the truth?

“Answer me!” He yells.

“I didn’t buy them on Bonadan!” You answer truthfully.

“Where did you buy them then?”

“Canto Bight. I bought them on Canto Bight.”

“Canto Bight? I have never seen these in your possession before,” Kylo has no memory of them.

“That’s because I left them on Naboo.”

“Then how the hell did you get them here?” Kylo does not follow your confusing timeline. You keep your eyes on Kylo’s boots on the ground. You do not want him to hear your answer.

“Your father…”

“What?” Kylo did not hear your whispered answer. He gabs you by the chin and makes you look at him.

“Your father. Your father delivered them to me here,” You do not lie. Kylo lets go of you as his face contorts into a scowl of contempt.

“You have been in contact with Han Solo?” His teeth are clenched as he speaks.

“Yes, and he came here and gave me these comics,” You hate how angry he looks.

“He is here?!” Kylo’s hands are only fists and the comics in them crunch.

“He was. He’s gone now,” You say but you are not actually sure where Han is now. Kylo rips the comics. You want the paper fall to the floor. You want to collect the pieces and put them together but you know this will only enrage Kylo further.

“You met with him? You kept in contact with him? How?” Kylo is shaking. You know he wants to hit something but he will not hit you. He knows better than that.

“I did. I’ve been talking to him on a long-distance transmitter. We agreed to meet here and he gave me the comics when I went to the bathroom,” You do not hold back the information.

“Where is the transmitter?” Kylo eyes are almost red in fury. You walk to the bed and lift the mattress. You pull out the transmitter. You hold it out to him. He takes it from you and throws it to the ground. He stomps on it with his boot, destroying it. Finished, his nostrils are flared as he breathes heavily. You are on the verge crying.

“I’m sorry I hid it but I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to-”

“Why the fuck would you want to talk to him?”

“He’s my father-in-law and-”

“He is nothing to us!” Kylo

“Not me. Not to our children. I want him to be in their lives,” You admit.

“You want that old bastard in their lives? How the fuck would that happen? He’s a worthless nomad and an enemy of the First Order. How would he have any part in their lives?”

“I wanted you two to meet and work things out. I thought-”

“You wanted us to meet and yet you didn’t tell me anything about him. How could I meet with him when I didn’t even know he was around?” Kylo points out the flaw in your plan.

“I just needed to get him here then I thought I could convince him to come with me to speak with you but he…” You look away and his reluctance and then refusal to do so.

“He didn’t want to see want me, did he? He didn’t want to see his monster of son,” Kylo is convinced.

“He did want to see you he just didn’t know what to say to you. I begged to him to speak but he was too nervous. But he wants to be in our children’s lives,” You try to defend Han.

“He knows about them?” Kylo’s voice booms.

“He was with me the night I learned I was pregnant. He did not know that they were yours till later. But he wants to be in their lives,” You never did get to tell Kylo about your time with Han. He refused to hear about it after all. Kylo shakes his head. His voice becomes low and rather melancholic.

“He’ll change his mind. Han Solo is not a family man. He’ll only ever disappoint them and you.”

You see the sadness replacing the anger in his brown eyes. You step closer to him and take his hand.

“I know he’s disappointed you and he’s disappointed me too. But I want our children to have the fullest life they can and be surrounded by people who will love them. Han will love them and-”

“Han only loves the Millennium Falcon and himself.” He takes his hand from you.

“He loves you too, Ben,” You know it is true.

“No. That’s enough. I want nothing to do with him. You will have nothing to do with him anymore,” Ben decides.

“But-”

Ben grabs you by your upper arms. His doleful eyes stare into yours almost pleadingly.

“It’s either him or me,” Ben sets the choice before you.

Choose me. Choose me. Please. You hear his thoughts. You raise your hands to his face.

“I choose you. I choose you forever, Ben,” Your decision is easy. Relief comes over him.

“You must not contact him again and don’t hide things from me. You are the one who said we had to be open and honest. So be that with me and I’ll be that with you,” He reminds you of your charge.

“I will.”

Ben frees your arms as leans in and kisses you. You slide your hands beyond his face so your arms can hook around his neck so he knows you mean it.

 **Knock. Knock.** There is someone at the door behind you. Ben lets go of you with a groan of frustration. He grabs his helmet to put back on his head. He opens the door. A young officer is there saluting.

“What is it?” Kylo snaps.

“There is a message from Supreme Leader Snoke, sir. He wants to speak with you, sir,” The officer reports. Kylo nods his head. He walks out without giving you a second look. As you heard of what he must do, you are not offended that he did not tell you where he is going. Instead, you get on your knees and begin to pick up the pieces of the broken transmitter. You take the pieces to the trash bin in your room.

You clutch the pieces for a moment as if you were clutching Han. You did make your choice. You cannot contact Han again. You know now form your interaction with Han that you cannot make them reconcile. It is up to Han and Ben. Only they can fix their fractured bond. Your job now is to be patient and hope for the best while fulfilling your vow to Ben to give him your comfort and love.

You drop the pieces in the bin. You go back to the floor where your tattered comic books lie. You can just imagine that rude sales clerk from Canto Bight shrieking in horror at the sight of these comics’ state. You get on your knees and you know you should collect them and dump them as well. But you cannot bring yourself to throw away the books. You grab the pieces and do your best to set them with the pages from where they were ripped. You also try to put them in order. Managing to get most of them into groups, you lift them up and put them on the desk. You plan to take more time to finish repairing the books but the door slides open. Kylo enters but does not take of his helmet.

“How was your talk with Snoke?” You walk from the desk.

“Fine. He is pleased with our deal with Bonadan,” Kylo answers.

“Good.”

“I have to get to the meeting with Baga Tetron. If you are tired you can stay here and rest.”

As much as you want to finish your Kade Genti comic restoration, you want to be with Kylo.

“No, I’ll come with you, if you’ll have me,” You grab your belt and put it around your waist again.

“Come then,” He goes to the door.

-

Baga Tetron’s house on Bonadan is a fabulous mansion made of polish red and yellow stones. From an aerial view the home takes a hexagon shape. Light pours out from the diamond shaped window that expand nearly from floor to ceiling. In the middle of the house is a large circle pool with a grand patio surrounding it. Baga’s special guests lounge or dance on the patio as other swim in the clear, sparkling water. The rest of the house is still filled with persons invited by Baga. There are areas with tables set up for gambling while other areas have employed various attractive species to dance in cages for entertainment. The lack of walls gives no privacy in the house. Only simple crimson curtains try to serve as partitions. Human, Twi-Lek and Chiss women walk about in nothing more than leather thongs and bands to go about cover the middles of their breasts. They hold trays of glass filled with either a red drink or a flaming blue one. Some hold trays of a pink treat shaped like a thirteen petaled flower with a golden jelly center. The air is thick with a mixture of odors. There is a floral aromas coming from the serving women, tobacco smoke coming from several men, and a different earthy scent that is more foul than the tobacco. A group of Bith play loud music in the background to keep spirits upbeat.

Kylo and General Hux stick out like sore thumbs at this party with their fear-inspiring mask and perfectly combed hair, respectively. No one will make eye contact with the two First Order members when they walk through the house though much of that can be attributed to their partying and thus lack of focus.

You walk through feeling like you have entered a more scandalous but smaller version of Canto Bight. When you had been on Canto Bight, you had been able to hold onto Han as he guided you through the casino. But here, you do not have a steady arm to hold. You know Kylo’s feeling on public displays of affection and you would not dare to hold onto General Hux. Instead, you walk at Kylo’s side as General Hux is on your other side thus making you a First Order sandwich.

Reaching the inner most part of this “party palace”, you see sitting along the edge of the water is a shirtless Devaronian. Like other Devaronians, his skin is red, his teeth are yellowing and pointed as are his long fingers and ears, and from his head are two large curling, black horns. He laughs as two women are pressed up against him. Seeing your trio, he stops laughing but does not stop smiling.

“Commander Ren, welcome!” He keeps his toothy smile.

“I thought you said this would be a small party, Baga,” You can tell Kylo is annoyed at the amount of people present.

“This is a small party,” Baga laughs as do his fawning ladies. He reminds you Tomthee Kalamey in a way. As not laughter comes from Kylo, Hux or you, Baga stops laughing. He clears his throat and frees the women. He stands up in the water exposing his lower half. You divert your eyes as you have no interest in seeing any man nude besides Ben.

“I see you’re not into jokes,” Baga grabs a robe brought to him by a waiting Twi-Lek girl. He wraps himself up in the silk cloth. Baga’s yellow eyes go to General Hux then to you. His gaze lingers on you and he smiles.

“I see you have brought friends. I’m Baga Tetron. And you are?” He introduces himself to you and holds out his hand.

“Lady Ren,” You stick out your hand to shake it but he twists your hand so he can bend down and press his lips onto the back of your hand.

“Lady Ren? Your sister I hope,” Baga looks up to Kylo as he slowly releases your hand.

“My wife,” Kylo puts his arm around your shoulders. Your lips twitch in satisfaction at his possessive move.

“Wife? You brought your _wife_ to _this_ party?” Baga’ eyebrows shoot up. What sort of party is this that it is strange for Kylo to bring his wife?

“Is there cause as to why I should not have brought her?”

“No. No. I am more than happy to have her here,” Baga smirks. It is not pleasing to your eye.

“And who else have you brought?” Baga looks to Hux.

“I am General Hux,” the general does not stick out his hand as Baga does not stick out his.

“Welcome, General.”

“We should discuss our potential partnership now, Baga,” Kylo wants to get business done.

“Yes. Yes. Follow me then. I know a place that will be a little quieter than here,” Baga starts to walk. It is rather too loud around the pool area with the swimmers, dancers and band. Baga goes through several ‘rooms’ that are split by curtains. As Baga walks he gives many passing waves and acknowledgements to his guests. He grabs a glass of the flaming blue drink as he finally stops in an are where a large table is surprisingly empty. The table is set up very similarly to the ones of Canto Bight where Han played Sabacc. A pale-white skinned Palliduvan in a robe with dark bags under his eyes and small horns sprouting up from his blue-black hair comes to Baga’s side.

“This is my number two Errk-Kel,” Baga introduces the Palliduvan who nods respectfully to the First Order members. Baga takes a seat at the head of the table.

“Please, sit,’ Baga gestures to the three other seats at the table. Kylo takes the other head. You sit to his right as Hux sits to his left. Err-Kel takes out a deck of Sabacc cards from his pockets and begins to shuffle.

“What is he doing? Aren’t we here for negotiation?” General Hux glares at the cards swirling in Errk-Kel’s hands.

“Commander Ren and I made a deal to play Sabacc. Only if he beats me will I accept the terms of the contract he presented me earlier and give him whatever else we bet in the game,” Baga responds.

“You’re going to gamble for the future of the First Order’s weaponry supply!” General Hux whispers harshly to Kylo. Hux cannot believe that Kylo would be so careless, so stupid! Kylo and you know this is what Hux is thinking. You too are surprised that Kylo is going to gamble instead of doing a normal negotiation. 

“Unlike you, General, I do know what I’m doing when it comes cards,” Kylo snaps. You see Hux blush frustrated at the remark. Is there something you do not know about General Hux and card playing?

The shuffled cards are dealt between Kylo and Baga. The men hold their cards then place their bets. You are surprised at the amount of credits, Kylo has. You two never did really discuss finances before so it is understandable that you know nothing of his money. Or is this the First Order’s money?

A blue Twi-Lek server comes into the area with a tray of the petaled food. She brings it to Baga first who takes one with a smile. The server walks toward Errk-Kel.

“You all should really try these. They’re a delicacy here on Bonadan,” Baga holds up his floral treat. Errk-Kel takes one. THe tray is brought before General Hux.

“What are they?” General Hux hesitates to grab one.

“Honey Thirfleur. It’s essentially a sweet bread with a honey middle,” Baga answers and takes a bite of one of the petals. General Hux takes one. Though he’d be loathed to admit it, General Hux does favor sweets. The server heads back toward Baga so she passes him to get to you. You look at the sweet treats. As you have not eaten lunch or dinner, you find it more than appetizing.

You go to grab one but look to Kylo first. He nods his head and you take one. The server goes to Kylo who also takes one. You bring the dessert to your mouth. The semi-hard exterior of the warm bread breaks with the bite to give over to a cloud like fluffiness inside. As you grow closer to the center you finally reach the honey. The sweet taste is nearly addicting.

Kylo does not eat his flower. You eye it hungrily as the serer is out of the room. You lick your still sticky lips.

“Master,” You whisper to Kylo.

“Hm?”

“May I have your Honey Thirfleur?” You ask softly. He hands it to you. You smile and happily eat it.

“If you want more, my dear, I can send for more,” Baga does not fail to notice the interchange.

“This will be enough for me. Thank you,” You wait to take a bite till after you answer.

“But you will need a drink to help wash it down. Ah, here comes a good girl,” Baga gestures to a new woman coming with a tray covered in the red and blue flame drinks. Baga takes another blue drink as Errk-Kel takes a red one. She comes to General Hux.

“And these drinks are-?” Hux looks to Baga.

“Bonadan blue flames and Corellian reds,” Baga answers. You know from the names that there are highly alcoholic drinks. Hux picks the last blue for his poison. Theis server goes by Kylo before you. He picks the red as it is the only choice left. Kylo takes of his helmet so he can drink. You see that the server stares at Kylo’s face as do the other members of the table. You can tell the server finds Kylo attractive by the way she blushes and keeps walking but not sure where to. Kylo sips the Corellian red.

“Ah!” You yelp as the server stumble and spills the rest of the drinks all over your dress. You shoot up from your seat.

“I am so sorry!” She apologizes immediately but has no way to help dry you off. She goes to her knees as if to beg for forgiveness.

“It’s fine. It’s fine,” You tell her but she stays on her knees. Baga stands, shakes his head and tsks.

“I am so sorry, Lady Ren. This must be remedied immediately,” Baga snaps his fingers and the serving girl stands to look at Baga.

“Take to my wife’s chambers. Get her clean dress for her to change into,” Baga orders then looks to Kylo, “As long as that is alright with you, Commander.”

Kylo looks to you, his dark eyes going to the stains on your dress.

“That’s fine.” Kylo permits.

“Please, come this way,” The serving girl begins to lead. You follow the young woman away from the Sabacc table. You two silently pass through several curtain rooms till you reach one of the exterior walls. There is a door there that the girl opens. Inside you find silence and a large bed. The windows are misted unlike the others in the house.

“Please, remove your dress,” The girl gestures to your ruined purple one. You take off your belt and lay it on the large bed covered with a white fur blanket. You take off the dress as the girl moves to a wall where two doors slide open. You see inside dress after dress after dress. You come close to them.

“Pick whatever you wish. Mistress Tetron will return home with an entirely new wardrobe next week,” the girl explains. You look at the dresses hanging up. You blush seeing that most are either see-through, covered in cut-outs, or have hardly any fabric to them at all. Your eyes settle on the dress that is the most modest though you would not call it that.

The fabric is a metallic blue that shines in the light of the room. It feels almost like elastic against your skin but it looks softer than that. The dress is short and barely reaches your lower thighs. The plunging ‘v’ neckline barely covers your breasts. There is not a back to the dress that his held up by two small silver chain straps. The front of the dress as two slits going up from the thighs to just below your breasts. There are silver chains that hold the slits to the outer fabric and to the single inner piece of fabric. You feel nearly naked but at least you have on a clean dress. You put your belt back on and redden as the dress rides up just a little more because of the cinching.

How does is wife where such things? You wonder.

“Shall I take you back to them now?” The girl asks.

“Yes.”

You follow her out. You are not blind to the looks you get from the men you pass and even some of the women. All their eyes seem glazed over and their skin flushed. You hear moans but they seem to be distant. Are some of the guests having sex here?

As you keep walking you notice more sexual noises. You gasp entering one curtained area. Nearly ever guest is naked. The serving girls are in various positions. Some are on their knees sucking off men while another fuck them from behind. One rides a man while giving hand jobs with two other men and sucking a fourth man. Some girls take a man in each lower hole while others have a single partner. You look back from where you came and see the guests have begun doing the same things as those in this room.

You grab the girl who is to be your guide.

“What is going on?” You do not understand how the slightly sleezy party has turned into a sex den.

“Oh, the drinks rare just taking affect,” she answers nonchalantly.

“The drinks? Surely, a little alcohol does make this happen,” You keep trying to look somewhere else but when you do you see more people copulating.

“Well, all of the drinks are spiked with ‘O’,” She acts as if you should have already known this.

“What is ‘O’?”

The girl’s eyes widen as she begins to realize you did not know anything about the true nature of this party.

“Do you really not know?”

“I do not.”

“Well, it-it causes the drinker to become aroused. Baga uses it at all of his orgies,” She answers. You try to process what she has told you. This is not regular party that Kylo was invited to and brought you to.

“This is an orgy?” Your jaw drops. She nods. You look around and see the various cups of the red and blue liquids scattered about half empty. Then you remember two more of those who have drunk these spiked drinks.

“Take me back to Baga’s table now!” You order the girl. She quickens her steps. You avoid the people copulating near you and the attempts of some of the men who try to grab at you and the girl for the purpose of satisfying their drug induced desire.

You reach the curtained room and find the men still there. Baga’s red skin is even darker now. His drink has done its work. Errk-Kel finally has some color to his otherwise snowy skin. His eyes have even begun to glaze. You see General Hux. Pulling at his collar uncomfortably. His eyes are focused on the table as if he is trying to distract himself from the urges his drink has brought to him. You are most concerned about Kylo of course. You see his glass sits on the edge of the table completely emptied. Your eyes go up to his face. His pink lips are parted as his breathing has become strained. His cheeks are coloring. His eyes like Hux’s are focused on the table of cards and credits.

“Oh, there are some ladies. Come here, girl,” Baga waves at the server. She comes immediately. Kylo’s eyes find you. You come close to him. As you approach you see his pants barely conceal is erection. His eyes run over you and your new dress.

“Fuck,” He pants. You know the sight of you like this most only worsen his sexual wants.

“Master, Baga has spiked everyone’s drinks with some arousal drug,” You whisper.

“What!” Kylo glares at Baga. Baga smirks. The serving girl stands next to Baga and drinks the last few gulps of his blue drink.

“Don’t be so upset, Commander. It is well known on Bonadan that I put aphrodisiacs in my drinks. How else are we to get everyone on board for an orgy?” He laughs.

“An orgy!” General Hux is the one now to express shock and distress. Deep down he and Kylo are both glad to know they were not just getting painful aroused simply from a card game. Still they both are furious at the trickery.

“Now, don’t be so upset. Let’s finish this game then you can choose any of my girls to finish you two off,” Baga finds the whole situation humorous.

Kylo’s scowl is only rivaled by General Hux’s. Kylo grips the cards tightly in his leather-bound hands.

“Lay your cars, Baga,” Kylo snarls.

“Pure Sabacc,” Baga is pleased with his hands.

“Pure Sabaac,” Kylo also lays down his hands. Baga frowns seeing now the two must go into Sudden Demise. Errk-Kel passes out a single card to Kylo and Baga. Baga’s face remains neutral looking at his card. Kylo also does not give away his feelings seeing his card that is obscured from your view.

“We show on three, two, one,” Baga leads. Baga and Kylo let down the cards. Kylo smiles as Baga puts down a star card as Kylo puts down the Idiot card.

“I guess I’ve bombed out. I agree to your contract, Commander Ren,” Baga stands up having lost graciously. His robe does not easily hide his arousal.

“Now, let me gets some girls in here for you gentlemen or some men if that is your taste,” Baga totally disregards that you are Kylo’s wife and that you would care if he released himself with another woman.

“We have no need for them. If you weren’t going to run this contract, I’d kill you for you drugging of our drinks,” Kylo stands and snaps at Baga. Baga just shrugs.

“But I am running it. So, forgive for this time, Commander. Now, I need to go find those girls I left in the pool. Errk-Kel, come with me,” Baga leaves. His number two follows but takes the serving girl by the wrist and drags her behind him fully intending to use her other services.

“I cannot believe you brought us to an orgy, got us drugged and gambled instead of negotiating,” Hux tries to find release through letting out his anger toward Kylo instead of seeking a body to release his frustration in.

“Don’t you raise your voice at me, General Hux!” Kylo yells. You know it is because it is the disrespect and the lack of sex. Had you had sex with Kylo this morning maybe he would not be so affected by this drug but you did not. Now he has gotten to this point.

“Let’s just get back to the ship,” You suggest. General Hux now notices you. His light eyes wander over you. His pants tighten. He looks away.

“I won’t make it to the fucking ship especially with you looking like that,” Kylo nods to your outfit. You are not too surprised that Kylo likes this sort of outfit on you. But you know he prefers you naked. As disgusting as this den of iniquity is, seeing Kylo so desperately horny has peaked your own craving.

“Then let’s just…do it here,” You suggest you touch his arm.

“Get out, Hux. Now!” Kylo points at General Hux. Hux strains as he tries to leave the room though he is stiff as an iron rod in his pants.

Kylo grabs you by your hips and sits you on the table. His mouth attacks yours as he pushes up your dress the few inches it must before your lady bits are exposed. He unzips his pants freeing himself from the one thing separating you from his erection. You spread your legs and just in time for him to push inside.

“Fuck! You’re so tight. Fuck,” Kylo curses breathily as he his hips recklessly rock into yours. His hand pushes aside the fabric covering your right breast. His tongue lathers your nipple with his saliva. You grip his long hair in your fingers as you hook your legs around his hips.

Kylo leans more and makes you fall onto your back on the Sabacc cards. He does not stop his bucking as he looks down at you.

“Shit. How could I have made it to the ship with you looking like that? It’s like you’re begging to be fucked. I bet every one you passed here wanted to fuck you,” He comments with his right thumb moving to tease your hardening clit.

“But I only wanted you to fuck me. No one could ever fuck me like you,” You moan.

Kylo leans down so he can suck at your breast again. His left hand moves to hold your hand. Your fingers intertwine with his as your other hand goes into his hair. You love his hair. You love his mouth. You love his cock. You love everything about him.

“I’m going to cum. You’re squeezing me so tight,” He tells your nipple.

“Release it! Release it all into me!” You encourage him. You feel yourself about hit your peak as well.

You almost rip out Kylo’s hair as he brings you to climax when he fills you up with his seed. Panting he gets off of you but does not pull out yet. He stares at your heaving breasts then pulls out. The moment his penis hits the air it stiffens.

“Shit,” He sees the drug is still affecting him. You sit up.

“Let me take care of it,” You offer. He steps back. You get off the table and on your knees. You drag your tongue up, down and all around his cock. You lap up the mixed fluids there. You eye the pink tip of his manhood. You look glance up to his parted lips then back to the tip. You smile. You never noticed before but the tip of him is the same color as his lips. You softly kiss the tip as if they were his lips. You part lips enough to let your tongue out to tease it. Enjoy making out with the velvety pink tip and you can tell form the precum leaking out that he does too. You smear the leaking liquid over your lips like it were lipstick before taking his full length into your mouth.

Kylo’s gloved hand goes to rest on your head. His fingers squeeze at your scalp as you lips squeeze around him. Your hands go to his pants and pull down exposing more of him. One of your hands begins juggling his balls gently as your other hand grabs his hip to keep you steady as you bob your head.

From behind the crimson curtain, General Hux stands with one glove in his mouth and his bare hand on his cock. He strokes it gently as he listens to the ungodly noise you and Kylo make. He’s cum once listening to you two much to his chagrin. But his libido has not lowered and neither has his ramrod dick.

Hux tells himself that he is getting off watching the Twi-Lek serving girl riding a green skinned, reptilian Rodian. But in truth watching these two strangers does nothing for him. Even the Rodian’s grunts and the Twi-Lek’s declarations of pleasure are just din to him in comparison to the sincere moans and gasps he knows are came from your lips. Now he has to listen to you suck. You do it so loudly, you even moan while you do it as if you enjoy giving head.

Hux never thought he would feel like this for some one especially you. You have always just a dangerous nuisance. At first you were just a trooper then you became a cocky trooper who got away with murder because Kylo allowed it. You slept your way up the ladder to even now surpass him. He has wanted you dead as eh has also wanted Kylo dead. He thought you a whore and bitch. But he never could fault you on your looks.

Even the first time Hux ever saw you spar with your helmet off, he had to admit that he found you more beautiful than any other female in the First Order. But he knew better than abuse his position to have his way with you. Yet, Kylo did not. Kylo got to do whatever he wanted including making you his plaything. Hux, of course, believed you to be a power-hungry slut even until the beginning of this journey. But over the past two weeks, you have shown you are not intolerable. You listen to him and encourage Kylo to as well. You’ve proven yourself useful to the First Order even today when you negotiated with the Bonadan leaders in an appropriate way and got them to give their allegiance to the First Order. He is beginning to see you are more than he thought. And even though you now carry the unborn children of the man he might hate most; you have only grown more attractive in Hux’s eyes. And his desire for you have only grown. Now, being aroused by force and having to listen to you with Kylo is torture.

A blue-skinned, naked Chiss girl starts to walk pass Hux but seeing his pitiful state of just jerking himself off, she approaches him. She gets on her knees before him.

“Want me to help, sir?” She winks at him and reaches for him. Hux knows this woman is probably one of the many women being paid to provide sexual services to the guests tonight and may have already been soiled by who knows how many other men. But he is need and if he does not have to chaff his hand with the constant rubbing, he would be better off. He lets go of himself and grabs his glove form his mouth.

“Suck it,” he brings the pale appendage close to her face. She takes it in her hand before putting her mouth around him. He should be staring at the face of the girl sucking his cock and listening to her slurping but his head turns back toward the curtain. He listens for your noises.

“Swallow it all,” Kylo grunts gripping your hair and starts pulling you forward to take more of him in your mouth and throat. You gag slightly as he hits your uvula. He gives one more thrust and shoots out an amount that you are forced to gulp down. He takes himself out of your mouth so you can finish swallowing. You take several breaths. In that short time, Kylo’s resilient cock straightens back up ready for more action.

“Am I not pleasing you?” the Chiss girl asks stopping her sucking. She has noticed Hux’s distraction.

“You’re okay,” Hux does not praise her but he does not tell her the truth that it’s not her mouth he wants around him. He does want her to finish and make him cum. The girl goes back to sucking.

You get stay on your knees but raise yourself so that you are on all fours. Kylo walks behind you with cock in hand. You make sure your dress is up exposing yourself. You put one hand back to pull at your labia. You show Kylo how his semen still drips from you but you still want more.

“Please, fuck me more,” You request. Kylo kneels down and more than readily gives into your entreaty. Feeling his length stretching your insides again elicits happy moans. Kylo grips your hips that rock back against him when he thrusts.

Hux clutches the curtain hearing your panting. He knows you’re being fucked again. He pulls at it just enough that it opens. He sees you on your knees with eye closed enjoying what Kylo does to you. Your breasts have left your dress and swing back and forth with Kylo’s thrusts. He grits his teeth seeing Kylo’s arrogant smirk. He must be proud to make you whine in ecstasy.

Hux grips the curtain tighter as he feels himself about to cum. He focuses his eyes on your breasts. He grabs the Chiss girl’s thin hair as he finishes in her mouth. He looks away from you and to the girl. She does not swallow but instead coughs it out. He rolls his eyes. He bets that you would have swallowed. The girl wipes her mouth. Hux’s member is still not satisfied.

“Get over here,” Hux pulls the girl by her hair to be closer to the curtain. He lets her go then tells her to get on all fours. She obeys and holds up her rump so Hux can easily access her. He kneels down as Kylo did. He puts himself in and opens the curtain more than before but neither you nor Kylo notices.

Hux mimics Kylo’s thrusts into this stranger. He copies the technique of the commander as best he can but from this distance it is hard to know what hall Kylo does. The blue girl makes noises expressing her enjoyment of the moves but Hux does not care if she is pleased. His eyes are still on you.

Kylo leans over you and grabs your breasts. He begins sucking on the flesh of shoulders making sure to leave marks. Hux does not do this to his temporary girl as this would block his vision. Kylo begins to whisper but Hux cannot hear what he says. But you know Kylo is saying your name over and over.

“I can’t get enough of you. I need you. I never want you to leave me. Always choose me. Please,” Kylo murmurs your neck. He is still on the earlier topic of your choice. You already told him your answer but he must need to hear it again. He stops for a moment. You turn back to look at him. You sit up with him still in you. You lean against his chest but keep your face turned toward him. You bring your hand back up to touch his cheek.

“I’m yours forever. I’ll never leave you. I need you. I choose you. I love you.”

Ben kisses your lips. His hands go around your abdomen then he resumes his thrusting. Like this Hux can see your breasts freely as well at your stuffed womanhood. Hux increases his speed seeing them.

Ben fingers your clit as his tongue stays with yours. Your hands are in his hair again. You love his silky, soft hair. You love the length and the thickness.

Hux watches you grip Kylo’s hair. He hats Kylo’s hair. It is too long for any proper officer. Still, Kylo gets away with it because he is Snoke’s pet. If Hux had it his way he’d shave Kylo’s head. Yet, Hux begins to feel jealous that there are no fingers running through his well-trimmed hair.

With your faces still turned you are able to look into Ben’s eyes. You keep your eyes locked with his. There is only him and you. That is all there is and all there needs to be.

Exploding together, you put all of your weight on Ben who holds you close. He kisses you more as his dick finally goes limp and slips out of you. You enjoy his kisses.

“Shit,” Hux turns his head away from you two. He pulls out of the Chiss girl who is orgasming. He shoots his load onto her back as he has no desire to repeat his father’s mistake of fathering a bastard. Hux puts himself away and stands up. The girl turns back to praise him but her words fall on deaf ears. He does not care for her feedback. He instead pulls the curtain till there is only a slit left for his eye. He watches you and Kylo get off the floor. You fix your dress as Kylo pulls up his pants and zips it. He starts to put the helmet on his head but you stop him before he can cover his mouth. You give him one more kiss then let him cover the rest of his face. Kylo takes off his cowl and puts it on you to help cover your barely sewn together dress. Hux sees Kylo’s semen trickling down your leg. Hux does not understand why Kylo finishes inside you when you are already pregnant.

“Let’s find Hux and go,” Kylo decides. Hux steps back from the curtain and turns his back to it. He crosses his arms and acts as if he did not just watch you two having sex.

“Let’s go, General,” Kylo opens the curtain.

“Hm. Oh, yes. Let’s go. Baga will send us his signed contract in the morning,” Hux turns around and follows you and Kylo. You three maneuver through the orgy and out of the house. It is easy to reach the command shuttle.

Sitting on the ship you reach your hand out to Kylo who sits next to you. He shyly takes your hand only because the pilots have their backs to you two. But Hux sits and watches the little show of affection. He finally looks away. Hux will not let himself want that too. That would mean he wants more than to simply fuck you. He does not. He just wants your body. That is all. He does not need your love. But having that too would hurt Kylo and Hux would not mind that at all.


	67. Stalled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I appreciate them! I love getting know what you guys think so feel free to tell me.  
> !!!WARNING!!!  
> This chapter has some heavy themes near the end involving Y/N's condition. So read with caution!!!!!!!

# Chapter 67

You are glad to be in the Finalizer. You have no desire except to go back to your room, shower, and go to bed. You might even skip the shower. You are exhausted. Halfway through your flight from Bonadan back to the main ship, you startled feel some uncomfortableness in your abdomen and some pain in your back. It’s not the normal uncomfortableness that you have when you are nauseated. It’s sort of like the pressure you used to get when you were on your menstrual cycle. Your back pain is probably from getting fucked on the Sabacc table. You will have to tell Kylo to keep your sexual endeavors to the bed from now on or at least nowhere crazy.

Getting into the elevator on the Finalizer with Kylo and General Hux, you hear your husband curse. You turn your eyes to him to see what is wrong. You look down and see he is once again erect in his pants. Hux makes a frustrated huffing noise as well. You glance and see he also has the same problem. You all realize the drug must have resurfaced in their system.

“We’ll take care of it when we get back to the room,” You whisper to Kylo and touch his gloved hand. He nods his helmet covered head. You do not look at General Hux as there is no way that you would help him with his problem.

“Woah!” You grab onto Kylo’s arm as the elevator suddenly shakes. The men grab the railing son the wall as the elevator suddenly stalls. The lights flicker.

“What’s happened?” General Hux is the one to ask what all are thinking.

“We’re obviously stuck,” Kylo presses the red emergency button in the elevator and speaks, “This elevator is stalled. When will it be fixed?”

He let go of the button that flashes. A cheery voice comes over the intercom obviously not knowing to whom he speaks. 

“Sorry about that. There’s a been a shortage. The droids will fix it as soon as possible!”

“What is the estimated wait time?” Kylo asks what you all want to know.

“Oh, well…maybe thirty minutes to an hour. It depends on what’s wrong,” The elevator intercom speaker answer.

“That long!” General Hux is frazzled. He cannot last that long in his condition. You know that Kylo cannot either.

“You do understand that it is Commander Ren and General Hux in this elevator,” Kylo brings up who the occupants are.

“Oh shit,” you hear faintly from the intercom, “I’m sorry, sirs. The droids will be working as fast as possible but I’m afraid the wait time may still be the same.”

General Hux’s nostrils flare and you suspect that Kylo’s do too underneath his mask. You suck your lips into your mouth to keep from smiling or laughing as you are slightly amused with the situation. Both of these powerful are struggling to control their bodies and release and relief as all dependent on the quickness of droids doing their work. Even with their ranks in the First Order, these men are being forced to wait just like everyone else while also having to control their bodies. It reminds you so much of your trooper training when you were forced to hold your full bladder for hours in rain while standing at attention waiting for _all_ officers to arrive to base. General Hux and Kylo were actually the last to arrive and had taken their sweet time to do so which turned an hour-long process into a four hour one.

Your eyes do go to the bulge in Kylo’s pants. You know it must be aching for you. But there is no way you are going to have sex in this little room in front of General Hux. 

“Sly,” Kylo calls your First Order name.

“Yes, Master?” You look up to him. He takes your arms and pulls toward his corner. His body is so large that it blocks Hux from your vision and traps you in the corner.

“I can’t,” is all he says as his hand goes to his zipper. Your eyes grow and your hand goes to his to stop him.

“No. We can’t. Not in here. Not right now,” You whisper hoping Hux does not hear.

“ _Sly_ ,” He says your names as if it is a warning. His keeps moving his hand down.

“No,” You stop his hand again.

“Just go ahead. I’m turning around,” General Hux huffs and turns around. Kylo looks back to make sure General Hux did turn around. Kylo finishes unzipping his pants and his pulsating penis pops out. He moves his hand away waiting for you to take action. This situation is frustrating. You did not want to do anything sexual here with General Hux present, but now you are being pressured into it. General Hux has even given his permission for you to do something. It is embarrassing. Yet…now you have the power. You are the one who is able to give Kylo relief. If he is going to embarrass you by making you do these sort of acts with a witness, then you are going to switch it on him.

“What do you want me to do, Master?” You ask.

“Touch it,” He answers softly.

“What?”

“Touch it,” He repeats still softly.

“I can’t really understand what you want me to do,” You play dumb.

“I want you to touch me, _now_ ,” He does not like your playing.

“Oh, you do? Then you should ask,” You reach out to touch him but you stop. You look up at him waiting for him to ask.

“Will you touch me?” He asks barely above a whisper.

“What’s happened to your manners, Master?” You still withhold your touch. He slams his fist into the wall. You would have flinched but you will not give him control.

“Please,” He finally says. You smirk.

“Very well then,” You take hold of him. You rub your hand up and down his shaft gently and rub your palm on his tip. You look up into the visor of his mask.

“Is this helping?” You ask. He nods his head.

“I need a verbal answer,” You stop moving.

“ _Sly_ ,” He starts that warning tone again. You pull your hand away but he grabs your wrist. You raise your eyebrows at him.

“It is helping,” He says and lets your wrist go. You go back to stroking. You can hear his breathing growing heavier. You feel him twitching in your hand. He is almost ready to finish. You lean yourself against his chest but do not stop rubbing him.

“Do you want to cum, Master? Do you want me to make you cum?” You speak so only he can hear, or so you think.

“Yes,” He nods.

“Manners, Master,” You tsk.

“Please,” He answers. You like him following your directions. You get on your knees and begin sucking on his balls. His fingers grip at the wall as he nears orgasm. He is struggling to breathe. He curses. The elevator wall is splattered when Kylo cums. You let go of him and stand back up. You look at the semen beginning to drip down. You take your finger and scoop some up. You turn around and bring it to your mouth.

“Very good, Master,” You lick it off your finger. You look down and he is re-erected. You suppose a handjob will not do the trick. A blow job might not either. You look beyond Kylo at Hux’s back. You wonder how he is doing not that you would help him. He is hunched over and you faintly hear his uneven breathing. Is he…masturbating? If he is you cannot fault him. He has no other way to relieve himself.

“I need you,” Kylo grabs your shoulders. You know what he means. You are still hesitant. General Hux could literally turn around and see that two of you. You do not want his pale little eyes watching you. You also are so tired and not feeling your best.

“I _need_ you,” Kylo repeats. You nod and begin to lift the hem of your dress. Kylo turns you around. He presses you against the wall. His hand goes between your thigh making them spread. You gasp when without much warning pushes himself inside of you. Your fingernails scrape the wall as you try to hold onto it to brace yourself with his hard thrusts. You bite you lip to avoid making noise. You do not want General Hux hearing you moan. It is difficult to keep your teeth in you lip as you want to moan. You put your hand over your mouth. Noticing this, Kylo moves you hand away then replaces it with his own. The extra layer of his glove serves as an extra layer of silence. You are able to moan a little as it is more muffled. Even with his mask on, you can hear Kylo moaning, groaning, and grunting.

General Hux’s ears are filled with your muffled moans as well as Kylo’s filtered ones. He rubs himself trying his best to reach completion. He tries to pretend his bare hand is your mouth or your cunt. Your moans are because of him not Kylo. However, your voice is being overpowered by Kylo’s. It is Kylo’s sounds that dominate Hux’s ears. Though his mind’s eye intends to have you has the receiver of his swelling member, he finds your mouth has morphed into the mouth of another. General Hux burns as the image of Kylo on his knees before him sucking him off. He should not think of Kylo in this way. Kylo is superior and more importantly, he hates Kylo. However, he cannot stop imagining Kylo sucking his cock especially having to hear Kylo right behind him.

Hux’s imagination begins to take control. He sees Kylo’s thick pink lips gobbling him. His brown eyes that Hux knows Kylo inherited from his resistance scum mother, look at him. It gives Hux so much power to have Kylo like this. Hux is the one in charge. Hux is the one Kylo must submit to in every way.

Your voice leaks again and Hux sees you know his mind. You are there too on your knees. While Kylo sucks his cock, you play with Hux’s balls. You whine as you are jealous of Kylo’s position. Hux smirks to himself.

“Kylo,” Your knees are growing weak as he continues to pound you against the wall. Hux opens his eyes and looks back. He sees Kylo’s back and only your arms and your legs. He fails to see the better parts of you. But he remembers what they look like. He just saw them not even an hour ago when he was peeping on the two of you at the party.

Hux looks away not wanting to get caught. He closes his eyes to return to his imagination. He is still in the elevator with you two. But now he has you pinned against the wall. He is the one mercilessly thrusting inside of you as you try not to cry out too loud.

Hux sucks on two of the fingers from the hand he is not using for stroking. He takes the fingers out of his mouth and puts them into the back of his pants. He pushes them in to his butthole. Hux pumps his fingers in and out of his ass. But his mind it is not himself or his fingers. It’s Kylo and Kylo’s dick. Hux is in the middle of you two. He fucks you as Kylo fucks him. You moan because Hux’s dick is the best you have ever had while Kylo cannot stop himself from enjoying the asshole of his “true superior” more than he has ever enjoyed your cunt.

In reality, you have managed to turn around to face Kylo. He has picked you up. You keep your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips. His arms keep you up and the wall behind you helps to support you. You lean your head against his shoulder as you bite the fabric there. You are reaching your end. No matter how much you get Kylo’s cock, you can almost never have enough. You know no one else could ever make you feel this way. Kylo also cannot get enough of you. Nothing in the galaxy could ever feel as good as you. In a time such as this when he literally has to have sex, he is so glad he has you.

“M-ma-master!” Your body shudders then finally goes limp against Kylo who quickly finishes inside you. 

“F-F-f-f-fuckkkk,” Hux finishes spraying the wall with his bodily fluid. He pulls his fingers from his bum and leans against the wall. He takes several breathes hoping to regain his composure.

Kylo puts you down but lets you hold onto him for support. You are pleased to see his body has given up trying to go for another round. You tuck him away for him.

You lean against him feel exceptionally weak. Though you just had great pleasure, your discomfort has returned as well as your fatigue. You really just want to lie down. You just want to sleep. Maybe you will feel better after you get some sleep.

General Hux straightens up having put his now flaccid penis away. He puts on his gloves and faces the closed elevator door. Kylo also turns leaving you lean on Kylo’s back. It is absolutely silent in the elevator. You enjoy the silence as you close your eyes.

The tiny room you are trapped in shakes and starts humming as it runs again. You open your eyes as it does. You stop leaning on Kylo. You come to his side and wait for the doors to open. There is a little chime when the elevator reaches the floor meant for General Hux. The ginger does not look at you or Kylo as he exits. You glance over to the corner he had been in moments ago. You blush see the product he has left on the wall. It is almost as thick at the genetic sample Kylo left on the wall behind you that you know is on your dress since you were pushed up against it.

The elevator continues till he reaches you floor. When the door opens you and Kylo exit. You hold onto his arm feeling unsteady. He allows you as no one is around. You reach the bedroom and see the bed. You want to strip down and get in but the semen leaking down your thighs and legs hinder you.

“I’m going to shower then sleep,” You sigh and go to the bathroom. Kylo does not respond. You remove your belt and borrowed clothes. You get into the shower and let the warm water soak your skin. Enjoying the heat, you find yourself drifting. You cannot drift though here. You take the shower head and bring it down. You wash away the proof of your and Kylo’s pleasure. You get out, towel off and attempt to use the bathroom in hopes you are just needing to pee or maybe even poop to make the pressure in your body leave. Even relieving yourself has down nothing to really alleviate your problems.

“I just need to sleep,” You tell yourself. You leave the bathroom and walk toward the bed. Ben has stripped down. He passes you to go to the bathroom. You crawl beneath the covers and rest your head against the soft pillows. You close your eyes excited for sleep.

You open your eyes almost startled when you feel the bed shift and the breeze of the lift covers hitting you. You see Ben is just joining you in the bed having turned off the lights. You relax. He reaches out to you and caresses your cheek.

“I’m sorry for making you…in the elevator,” he apologizes.

“You didn’t make me. I know you needed me,” You close your eyes.

“Still…” His hand does not leave your cheek.

“It’s fine. Let’s just sleep. I’m so tired,” You touch his hand. Ben Leans and kisses your forehead. He moves his hands and arms to wrap themselves around you and you against him. You enjoy his warmth and soon find rest.

Sleep is temporary. Several times you wake with the pain in your back and some in your belly. But you body feels paralyzed. You cannot move so you fall asleep again only to wake again. It is a vicious cycle. Finally, you gave some movement in your limbs. Though you like being nestled against Ben’s chest, your pain is too much. Surely it is just constipation mixed with all the lovemaking.

You break free of sleeping Ben’s hold. You get out of the bed and begin walking to the bathroom. The pain increases. You make it to the toilet and sit. Something is wrong.

“Ben…Ben. Ben! Ben!”

Ben sits up in the bed rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand. He gets out of the bed. He calls your name looking for you.

“Ben!”

He comes to the bathroom door.

“Ben!”

Ben opens the door. Ben is frozen as he sees the sight in front of him. He has seen things no man should on the battlefield. He has seen the horrors in other people’s minds when he would interrogate them. He is no stranger to seeing the cruelties of life. Yet, nothing has prepared him for this sight. The sight of his wife sobbing with her hands cover in her own…her own…

“Ben, why is there so much blood?”


	68. Possible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. I know my updates have been taking a while. I'm sorry. This chapter does deal with one of the heavier issues of pregnancy but I hope you all will still read and enjoy.

# Chapter 68

Useless. Helpless. Ben feels useless and helpless standing and staring at you with blood on your hands. He knows from where it came as well as the assumption that can be made. You are trembling and crying. He has no idea what he can do or say. He does understand what has happened.

“Ben, why is there so much blood?” You look down at your hands again.

Ben does not have an answer. Tears prick his own eyes. How could this have happened? They had been rather careful. He never pushed her too hard in training. He made sure she was eating properly. He never detected much stress from her. Whenever they have been together these past weeks, they have been so happy. Even having to be around General Hux and planetary leaders, Ben has still been happy. Your presence has made life so much…better. He has not been this happy in…years. Ever since you two got married he has not even had a single nightmare. The only sour note between the two of you recently has been your contact with Han Solo. But one argument could not have produced so much stress that you would miscarry. And he did not have a physical reaction against you in the fight. He would never do that again. Never. And he has not been too physical with you. Sure you two have sex but he has not been too rough or push you too hard except…tonight. His drug induced state made him nearly insatiable. He even had to fuck you in the elevator next to Hux. Had it been too much? Had he been too indelicate? Did having so much sex cause this? Has he lost his children because of his own libido?

No. No. Ben still senses them. They have not passed yet.

“I’ll get Dr. Jorner,” Ben turns and leaves.

Dr. Jorner did not know what was more jolting, being literally dragged out of bed by Commander Ren in the early hours of the morning or that Commander Ren was fully naked when he did so. Of course, the physician knew that the reason for his early rise was one of the utmost importance. When Dr. Jorner arrived in the bathroom, he immediately frowned seeing Lady Ren crying on with blood on her hands. He could easily guess where the blood was coming from and what was to be assumed about her pregnancy.

“I’m going to clean you, Lady Ren,” Dr. Jorner gets a washcloth and runs water over it. He looks to his commanding officer who is still unabashedly nude.

“You may want to dress, sir,” Dr. Jorner suggests. Kylo realizes his nakedness and takes the doctor’s suggestion. Dr. Jorner helps wipe away the excess blood. You cannot stop crying. Dr. Jorner says nothing but does his best to clean you. Though in your eyes the blood is everywhere, dr. Jorner mentally notes the blood loss is not too great. When Kylo returns dressed but with his face and hands uncovered, he comes to your side unsure of what more he can do.

“Lady Ren, I know this is upsetting but I need to move you from here to your bed. Can you do that for me?” Dr. Jorner keeps his voice calm but firm. You do not process any of his words. Your mind is spiraling.

“Commander Ren, I need you to carefully, take her to the bed,” Dr. Jorner turns to his superior. The commander cautiously picks you and takes you from the bathroom and to the bed. He lays you down gently. Dr. Jorner follows pulling out the pager form his medical bag that he was able to grab while being brought to the commander’s room.

“MED-139, bring an ultra sound machine and an HCG blood test kit,” Dr. Jorner speaks over the pager to the medic droid that is programmed to hear him from this pager. Dr. Jorner puts the pager down. Seeing you trembling and growing incoherent, the doctor folds the blanket from Kylo’s side over you to help warm your body and cover your nakedness. He reaches into his medical bag and pulls out a pair of clean gloves. He then lifts the blanket to expose your lower half that is bleeding. He spreads and pushes up your legs.

Kylo grabs the doctor’s shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Your wife may be having a miscarriage. I need to test some things to see if she is including a pelvic exam. Can you hold her knees up and apart for me, sir?” Dr. Jorner explains. Kylo nods. He awkwardly stands next to you. He holds up your knees and keeps them apart so the doctor can have full access. You cannot look at Ben or the doctor. You bite your lower lip to suppress your crying but the tears come and your body shakes.

“You’re not dilated,” Dr. Jorner pulls his hand from within you. He motions for Kylo to let your legs down. Dr. Jorner covers you up again just in time for there to be a knocking at the door. Dr. Jorner opens it and allows his medical droid MED-139 to enter with an ultrasound machine and a bag.

The droid hooks up the machine as Dr. Jorner goes through the bag. He pulls out a small rectangle and brings it to your arm that he uncovers. A small needle pops out the rectangle. It pokes your skin and draws a little blood. He puts a small adhesive bandage on the spot after the needle retracts. He steps away and looks at the rectangle. It dings indicating it has finished its calculations.

“Hmmmm,” Dr. Jorner does not share his findings. He pulls back your blanket further to show your stomach. He takes out a container of gel. He rubs it on your abdomen before grabbing the ultrasound wand. He turns on the monitor as he presses the stick against you. You cannot even look at the screen. You cannot look at the box that will confirm your fear.

“There is fetus A and…” Dr. Jorner keeps moves slightly, “There is fetus B.”

“And?” Kylo has no idea what the images on the screen even mean.

“MED-139, turn on the sound,” Dr. Jorner order the droid.

Buh-bump. Bu-bump. Buh-bump. Buh-bump.

You turn your head at the sound. The beating is fast and loud. It disappears for a moment as Dr. Jorner moves the wand but it is replaced on a different spot with more beating. There is relief that comes over you as you listen to the proof of their lives. Still you are nervous as you do not understand what has happened.

“They’re alive,” You breathe.

“For now,” Dr. Jorner takes away the wand and turns off the machine. He pulls out a wipe from beneath the machine and wipes away the gel on your stomach. These words are not comforting.

“What do you mean ‘for now’?” Kylo also dislikes the physician’s turn of phrase.

“As of right now you just have a threatened miscarriage. But you could still miscarry. Sometimes a miscarriage can take several days and even weeks,” Dr. Jorner answers.

You do not like this new information.

“Do you have any idea what could have caused this?” Kylo asks.

“There are many possibilities such as physical trauma, a stress induced reaction, improper hormone levels, narcotics, alcohol…” Dr. Jorner lists.

“Sex?” Kylo asks.

“Unless you have been beating her during sex, sex should not have played a factor,” Dr. Jorner squelches Kylo’s fear of his sexual activities being the cause.

“But what is the reason for mine? I have been careful and not really stressed. I have not done any narcotics or alcohol. At our last check up you said my hormone levels were good,” You remember the last appointment.

“According to this blood test, you have high levels of thirfleur in your system,” Dr. Jorner answers.

“Thirfleur? How can cake start a miscarriage?” You do not understand.

“Thirfleur is a powerful Bonadan herb that is intended to prevent pregnancy in females or if the taker is in the early stages of pregnancy it can cause a miscarriage. It has a temporary sterilizing effect on males. Did you eat a cake made of Thirfleur?” Dr. Jorner’s explanation only causes horror in you and Kylo.

“Yes. I had two. The honey was so sweet and I didn’t-I didn’t know,” You claim starting to tear up again realizing your hunger has caused this.

“Well, you should avoid eating strange foods from now. Only eat what you know. You are still at high risk now to miscarry. You will need to rest. Avoid most physical activities. Do not allow yourself to become too stressed as it will affect your body. So, I recommend not attending any more interactions with any person who will stimulate stress such as foreign dignitaries. I will make sure the kitchen staff know to prepare a special diet for you to promote the well-being of the fetuses. Please, do not eat anything else you do not know,” Dr. Jorner looks from you to Kylo, “And no sex.”

Kylo nods. Dr. Jorner looks to you once more.

“I will check on you tomorrow unless you miscarry later today. Please, excuse me now,” Dr. Jorner nods his head to you and signals for MED-139 to follow him while taking the machine with it.

You lay in the bed so exhausted and concerned. Although you have not miscarried, Dr. Jorner has said that you still could. How could you not be afraid? You should have never gone to that party last night.

Ben comes to your side and takes your hand. You look up at him.

“Ben, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I-”

“It’s not your fault.” He shakes his head.

“But it is. I ate the thirfleur. If I hadn’t then-”

“Stop. It’s not your fault. You didn’t know,” Ben kneels down so his face is more level with yours. He pushes back some of your hair from your face.

“I should have been more cautious. I should have stayed here. I shouldn’t have gone to that damn party,” You start crying.

“I shouldn’t have taken you. I should have made you stay. It’s my fault,” Ben takes the blame.

“It’s not yours, Ben.” You do not want him to have any guilt.

“It is. I should have protected you. I knew Baga has a terrible reputation and I turned a blind eye to it because I wanted to get this deal made. I endangered them for the sake of winning over a fucking smuggler,” Ben’s blood boils over his folly.

“Oh, Ben, you didn’t know what he was going to do. How could we have known he was going to drug food and drinks at this party,” You will not let Ben take fault.

“You’re right. It’s not your or my fault. It’s Baga’s,” Ben knows who is the wrongdoer, the cause of this turmoil. You sense the rage building in your husband. You have no time for anger. You are not allowed to be stressed which is a lot easier said than done. You must make yourself for the sake of the children. 

“I’m going to teach that horned bastard a lesson,” Ben stands up, hate in his eyes. He moves to step away to go exact his vengeance. You do not let go of his hand. You do not want him to leave, not right now.

“Ben, please, don’t leave me. Stay with me for now,” You do not want to be alone.

Ben is not going to deny your request. He takes off his boots and gets in the bed with you. He does not get under the covers with your but he does hold your hand. You close your eyes. You cannot rest easy knowing miscarriage is still a possibility, but you are no longer distraught. Your children still grow inside of you and you must hold onto the hope that you will still have them.

* * *

Baga Tetron confidently comes to the Bonadan Docking Bay to meet the First Order. Having spent the night with pleasuring himself with a variety of female kinds and few males with pretty enough faces, Baga is more than ready to hand over his signed promise to work for the First Order in his seedy ways. He still smirks to himself at the look on the face of Commander Ren and the red-haired officer when they learned of their spiked drinks. He chuckles to himself at how easy it was to dupe them. He only wishes he could have seen the commander in action when he inevitably began fucking his little wife in his drug induced state. We would not have minded joining that duo. He wonders if he will see the Commander and Lady Ren today.

Baga watches as the command shuttle begins to land. He strokes his strong, noble horns as the ramp lowers. There is much steam that leaves the ship as someone begins to exit. Four troopers walk out then Kylo Ren with the ginger general come out. The troopers part allowing Ren and the redhead to come near Baga. The horned smuggler smiles.

“Hello, gentlemen. I hope you are both feeling well this morning,” Baga greets. He cannot see the commander’s reaction as his face is covered. But the unmasked general holds a scowl.

“I’ve brought my contract and your winnings from last night, Commander,” Baga presents the papers and a bag of credits to them. Commander Ren does not come forward.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re still mad about last night? I saw you with one my servers,” Baga points at the general blushes then to Commander Ren, “And you, Commander Ren, I am sure you had a very fun night with your wife. Is that why she isn’t here? Can’t walk this morning?”

Baga laughs but it turns to a choke as an invisible hand begins to crush your throat. Baga sees Commander Ren’s hand is out toward him. It is if he is choking him without even touching him. Baga’s body flies through the air till it is caught by Commander Ren’s hand. Baga looks into the windows that cover the choker’s eyes. Baga grabs at the wrist of the hand choking him. He taps at it as if to tap for mercy. Commander Ren opens his mouth. Out of it comes a slew of insults and words so foul that anyone in ear shot of the screaming First Order man blushes including the choking Devaronian.

“It wasn’t personal. I was just having fun. Didn’t you end up having fun?” Baga manages to get out a half-assed apology.

“Fun? You think I had fun watching my wife lie in bed trying to stop her miscarriage that your thirfleur cakes induced? Is that fun to you, Baga?”

Baga’s eyes bulge from the even tighter grip and from the new knowledge that Lady Ren is pregnant. The First Order general’s eyes also grow at the news that Lady Ren has bee trying to stop a miscarriage.

“I didn’t know,” Baga’s larynx is nearly crushed. Commander Ren throws Baga to the ground. He coughs violently then looks up to the cowl wearing officer who steps nearer to him.

“I swear. I had no idea she was pregnant. I would have never allowed her to eat that or drink anything had I known. I swear!” Baga’s voice is rougher than gravel now.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not. It is your fault that my children may die. And now you will pay!” Commander Ren takes off his lightsaber from his belt. As the crackling red blades turn on, Baga grasps at the ground and tries to get up to run but his feet slip beneath him. He looks back and raises his arms up as if it they will defend him from the lightsaber.

“Ahhh!” Baga screams as his arms are severed from his body. But his screams are cut short when his head flies off as well. Commander Ren slashes the Devaronian to pieces. The troopers and general divert their eyes.

The lightsaber is turned off and returned to its spot on the belt. The commander turns around and reenters the ship only to be followed by his subordinates.

* * *

You wake alone in the room. You have no idea how long you have slept. You’re not in pain like you were earlier. You sit up disappointed to see that Ben is no longer with you. But you know that just because you are unwell does not mean that Ben is unable to go about his own business.

You pull off the covers and find no more traces of blood. This lessens the anxiousness in you slightly. You get up with mouth dry. You see a tray on the desk. You walk to it and find a smoothie you know should be full of the nutrients you need. You drink it slowly as the taste is a mix of aquatic broccoli and Jun-lime. You suffer through it though. It does moisten your mouth and fills your stomach. Putting it down you look to the desk. Your eyes begin looking for the ripped-up comic book you put there last night. Alas, it is gone. Ben must have thrown it away. You walk to the little closet where your clothes are. You feel chilly naked. You look through your clothes till you find your nightgowns. You pull a black sheath style one with long bell sleeves. The silk is smooth against you skin and warms you a little. You return to the bed. You do not want to do anything physical as it could risk everything.

The door slides open drawing your attention. Kylo has returned.

“Ben,” His name comes from your lips lightly. He takes off his helmet and comes to your side.

Ben takes your hands and sits on the bed. He brings your hands to his mouth and kisses them gently.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m not hurting,” You answer.

“Good. I see you drank whatever Dr. Jorner prescribed.”

“Yes. It was disgusting.” You remark making the edge of his lip curl up. It is funny how the trooper who could eat anything now has become almost picky.

“But since it is to help, I will stomach it,” You add.

“Of course,” Ben nods his head.

Ben is being so gentle and kind. There is still hope in his brown eyes. It is the hope you have too. But you do not know if it will last. Dr. Jorner did say it could still happen even over a course of weeks. You never want the hope and affection in Ben’s eyes to leave but it might. Other things might leave him as well. You love him and he has confirmed his feelings as well. He married you after all. But he did marry you as to seal your verbal contract that mostly involved the two of you and how to raise your children. You know Ben will do anything for the specks of starlight in your womb. It is very well feasible that had you not been pregnant, he may not have tried so hard to find you. He may not have married you or admitted his feelings. Had you not been pregnant would he have given up on you or still hidden his feelings? If you lose the twins, will you lose him as well?

“Ben,” Your voice unintentionally cracks when you say his name.

“What is it?”

“If…if I miscarry-”

“You won’t,” Ben cuts you off. You put your fingers on his mouth to keep him quiet so you can finish. You lower your fingers.

“Ben, it is possible that I might. I don’t want to. I want these children more than anything. I know you want them too. You even searched the galaxy for me so you could be a father to them. So, if I lose them, I-I’m afraid that not only will I hate myself, you will…you will lose your love for me. You’ll stop loving me and hate me too,” Your emotions make your voice waver and eyes water.

Ben takes your face in his hands as he breathes your name. His own wet eyes gaze into yours.

“I will not hate you. I want these children but I will never hate you if you lose them. I searched the galaxy for you because I wanted to find **_you_**. When I learned of your pregnancy it pushed me harder to find you but I was never going to stop looking for you. Even if you lose them and never have a child, you will still be my wife. You will still be my everything,” Ben’s truth makes you lose all control over your eyes. You throw your arms about him. He moves his to hold you close to him. Love and security are in his embrace.

“I love you, Ben.”

“I love you.”


	69. Snoke's Orders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thanks for the comments and kudos! Thank you all for your patience. You guys are wonderful. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 69

General Hux stands before the Hologram of Supreme Leader Snoke on his own. The deformed leader stares at his subordinate annoyed.

“What is you wish to speak to me about, General Hux?” Snoke leans against his knuckles as he sits on his throne.

“I needed to report to you the recent recklessness of Commander Ren,” Hux keeps his spine straight and his hand held together behind his back. Snoke wants to roll his eyes but does not.

“What has he done now to upset you, General Hux?” Snoke asks with a sigh.

“Well, sir, Commander Ren had made a deal with a weapons smuggler here at Bonadan. He himself and his underlings were going to work with us to gain more weapons and to sabotage any weapons that were being sold to the Resistance,” Hux explains the details of the deal.

“And?” Snoke sees no problem.

“And this morning, Commander Ren killed the smuggler thus ruining our new connection,” Hux gives away the problem. Snoke’s eyes grow and he stops leaning on his knuckles.

“Why did Commander Ren do this?” Snoke is more invested now.

“We went to a party to negotiate with the smuggler and at the party apparently Sly ate some sort of cake that caused her to start miscarrying. Ren killed the smuggler over it,” General Hux huffs. Snoke stands now.

“She has miscarried?” Snoke only cares about his apprentice’s apprentice.

“Well, I don’t think she has fully miscarried but it could still happen or something. I’m not privy to all the details. But Commander Ren did kill the smuggler over it,” Hux does not understand why Snoke cares.

“Send for Commander Ren now and have him speak to me,” Snoke orders sitting back down. General Hux smiles and nods his head. Surely, Snoke will punish Ren for his behavior.

General Hux wastes no time making his way to Commander Ren and Lady Ren’s room. He knocks on the door then puts his hands behind his back. He tries to make his face neutral as he does not want to give away his pleasure that Ren may be in for a punishment from the Supreme Leader.

The door slides open and Kylo stands at the opening. Hux cannot tell anything about Kylo’s feeling as his mask covers him. Hux’s eyes go beyond the dark commander to the bed in the background. He sees you asleep there. His eyes go back to Kylo.

“What do you want?” Kylo snaps.

“Supreme Leader Snoke is on call and wants to see you _now_ ,” General Hux relays the order.

“Fine,” Kylo steps out of the room. Hux intends to walk behind the commander. He takes another look into the Rens’ room. You are still asleep and he wonders if you finished miscarrying. Hux keeps up with Kylo but does not speak at all in the way. Hux cannot wait to hear Snoke scold Ren for his carelessness with Baga Tetron and maybe punish him.

Kylo and General Hux enter the room where Snoke’s image is. Kylo kneels before his master then rises at Snoke’s permission. The supreme leader’s eyes are only on his apprentice and not the young general.

“You sent for me, Supreme Leader,” Kylo looks up to the golden robed man.

“General Hux has alerted me that Sly has miscarried. Is this true?” Snoke disappoints Hux who does his best to not frown.

“She has not. She has had a threatened miscarriage but as of now, she is still pregnant,” Kylo answers his superior. Snoke nods his head understandingly.

“I see. Then all measures must be taken to prevent the loss,” Snoke determines.

“I agree.”

All the likeminded talk displeases the tall general. He wanted condemnation and embarrassment.

“I believe Sly should return to Starkiller Base and be under the watchful eye of Dr. Ryza. Dr. Ryza has more medical supplies and it will be a more stable environment than the Finalizer,” Snoke decides what he thinks is best.

“If you think so, sir. Should I tell the captain to take the ship back to Starkiller Base?” Kylo asks.

“No. I am sure that you can contact the Knights of Ren to come be transportation. The uniting of the outer rim planets to the First Order is still a priority,” Snoke shakes his lopsided head.

“I will contact the knights then to take Sly and myself back to the base,” the commander nods. General starts to smile. This means he will be solely in charge of negotiations. He will the highest rank on the ship and no one will boss him around. This is working out so well. He is once again glad that he told Snoke about the pregnancy issue.

“No.”

Kylo and Hux are shocked by the word.

“No. You will stay with General Hux and finish the tour. Your knights will take Sly back to base so she will be secure and you will have no distractions.,” Snoke’s plan makes Hux’s mouth open in want of protest while Kylo’s jaw tightens beneath his mask. He has to voice is disagreement.

“But, Supreme Leader, I should be with her. I-”

“Do you not trust your knights to protect and deliver her safely?”

“I do but-”

“You will stay on the Finalizer. You and General Hux will finish this mission. Sly will go,” Snoke makes it clear what is to happen.

“Yes, Supreme leader,” both Kylo and Hux nod their heads. Snoke ends the call leaving the two men alone. Neither are pleased. Hux has lost his place as sole leader and Kylo is losing his wife. Kylo draws his lightsaber and begins slashing the room to pieces as he yells. Hux stands still afraid that he might be the next to be struck. Kylo turns of his ligthsaber as he huffs. He puts it back on his belt then turns his head to the pale Hux.

“It was none of your business to tell Snoke about _my wife’s_ condition.”

“I had no intent on having her sent away,” Hux honestly replies. Kylo raises his fist toward Hux’s long face but sticks out his finger toward the general instead of hitting him.

“I know what you intended. And now I will make my intentions clear to you. I have put up with your bullshit this long because my wife interceded for you. I will no longer lend an ear to your suggestions. What I say goes and if you disagree you can suck it up or run back to Starkiller Base,” Kylo clarifies his plans. He turns away and leaves the unsatisfied officer.

General Hux glowers at the back of the commander even as it disappears behind the door that closes. Left in the semi-destroyed room, Hux lets out a shout of frustration. He takes some of the broken pieces and throws them around the room further ruining the room. Once again what he wants is taken from him by Kylo.

Hux throws down one more piece then straightens up and catches his breath. As part of his gelled hair comes down onto his forehead, he pushes it back into place. He steps out of the room and walks the hall till he finds some technicians working on a loose panel. He gives them orders to go and fix the room Kylo Ren has destroyed.

* * *

Gently, finger brush down your cheek making your eyes flutter open. You smile seeing Ben sitting on the bed leaning over you and touching you so. Though his lips are curved to form a smile, his eyes hold no gladness.

“What’s wrong, Ben?” You want to now why his eyes are so gloomy. He sighs.

“Snoke knows about this morning,” He takes his hand from your face. The mention of the supreme leader makes you shiver.

“What did he have to say?”

“He was concerned and thinks you should go back to Starkiller Base and be under Dr. Ryza’s watch.”

“Oh, is that all? I know you’re better at negotiations and getting planets to join the First Order but maybe you can go back out after I’m cleared of the chance to miscarry. It would be nice for us to get back to base and get ready for the babies,” You touch his hand to comfort him on the loss of opportunity. He shakes his head.

“Snoke won’t let me go with you.”

“What?” You start to sit up but Ben’s hand goes to your shoulder to keep you down.

“He has ordered that I stay on this mission with Hux while my knights come and takes you back to base,” Ben relays the orders made by Snoke.

“You’re sending me away with the knights?” You cannot believe your ears.

“Not by choice but I cannot defy Snoke. It is for your well being and the children’s,” Ben tries to rationalize.

“But why can’t you come with me? I don’t want to be alone with those guys and I don’t want to be away from you. We promised we would not leave each other,” You grip his hand. Your hormones intensify your emotions and causes you to cry once again today.

“I know, but I cannot go with you. My knights will protect you and safely take you back to base. They will not do anything to you. And I will come back,” He tries to assure you.

“But we will still be apart. You’ll be out here for who knows how long. I don’t want to be without you especially right now. Please, go with me or let me stay with you,” Your plea might as well have fallen on deaf ears.

“I can’t. I can’t,” He hates your tears.

“I won’t go then. I’ll be the one to defy Snoke. I’m not going away from you,” You are willing to take on the burden.

“You will not. You are going to go back to the base. I will come back to you. This is what must be done. It will be for the best,” Ben insists.

“Us apart is never for the best,” You turn your face away from him. Ben tuts your name and uses his hand to make you look back at him.

“I promise, I will come back to you.” The earnestness in his eyes makes you know he means what he says.

“You better,” You grab his shirt. He nods and pulls you up enough so he can hold you against his chest. He keeps his arms around you as there is nothing he can do. He cannot and will not disobey Snoke now even though he wants nothing more than to be with you.

How cruel it is to separate spouses especially when one is in such a delicate state as this. But Snoke is not known for his kindness.

Three days after Snoke’s orders, you stand in docking bay with Kylo and General Hux. You have been cleared by Dr. Jorner for the journey but instructed on what to do and not to do as miscarriage is still possible.

A trunk containing things that Kylo packed for you as well as prepared meal drinks from Dr. Jorner rest on top of a floating cart. The nearby general’s sharp nose crinkles in disgust as three of the Knights of Ren track dirt into the otherwise clean docking bay. Vicrul, Ushar, and Cardo approach the waiting Finalizer occupants. They stop and nod to their leader. Kylo pushes the cart to Trudgen.

“These are her things. Be sure to put them in my room,” Kylo charges Cardo with luggage duty. He grunts and takes the trunk off of the cart and turns to return to the shuttle that brought him from the Night Buzzard to the Finalizer.

You turn to Kylo and look at him with puffed red eyes. You make no move to touch him. You hate that he is wearing his mask now as he bids you farewell and sends you away with his weird friends. You want to see if his eyes hold as much torment as yours. You two agreed to no displays of sad longing before these onlookers. Your tearful embrace was given in your room. You wish you were not on the verge of miscarriage then you could have made love to Ben before your left and you would not even have to leave him!

“Goodbye,” He only gives you the single word.

“Goodbye,” You repeat the word. Kylo spins around and walks away. You sees Hux’s eyes watch shocked at the abrupt departure of the commander. Hux’s eyes go back to you.

“Save travels, Lady Ren,” He wishes.

“Thank you. The same to you, General Hux,” You nod to him then walk toward the waiting Vicrul and Ushar. You look to each.

“I’m ready now,” You inform them. They lead you to the shuttle that stinks almost as badly as the Night Buzzard did. But you say nothing. You sit quietly looking out the window toward the Finalizer as your ship flies away. You touch the window wondering if Ben has gone to a window to watch you leave since he left so quickly or has he just gone off to do his work?

Arriving at the Night Buzzard, you switch ships trying not to gag at the odor. Do these men never clean? You find the rest of the knights makes up your welcome committee. It is an uncomfortable silence as you all just stand still. The last time you had seen these men, you had just been married to their leader after briefly being their prisoner. Now you are here alone. You do not know what Kylo has told them to do except take you back to Starkiller Base.

“Hello, again,” You greet them but they say nothing. You keep your head held high. Kylo did tell you that you must keep an air of preeminence over them as you are Lady Ren and their superior. No weakness should be detected. Even with Kylo’s revenge as a consequence, these knights might attempt to bully you just to assert their dominance.

“I assume you all know why I am on this ship. Be sure that anything should happen to me or to your leader’s children, Kylo will not be merciful,” You set out the warning.

Yeah. Kylo would hate to lose the only girl willing to fuck him. You hear the thoughts coming from Ap-Lek. You hold out your hand causing Ap-Lek to slam against the wall. The men go to grab for their weapons btu know they cannot use them on you. You come near Ap-Lek impressed with yourself that your force use is not affecting you physically.

“Yes, he would hate to lose the only girl willing to fuck him, Ap-Lek,” You address him and make him gaps behind his apparatus as he realizes you heard his mind and have been able to slam him against the wall with the force.

She can read minds like Kylo? Comes from many minds. It is funny how open their minds are right now. You lower your hand and look to the others.

“Yes, I can. Kylo and I share many abilities as you can see. So, don’t fuck with me.” You hear a single gulp but you are not sure from whom.

“Now, Cardo, please take me to my room with my trunk,” You turn to the one knight holding the trunk. He nods and starts to lead you.

“Oh, and thank you all for your upcoming service. It is much appreciated,” You give a smile unnerving them further. There is nothing scarier than a powerful woman they are literally banned from harming no matter what she does to them.

Cardo leaves you and your trunk in Kylo’s quarters on the ship as quickly as possible. You open the trunk knowing you should take out the meal shakes. As you take out the last of the sealed bottles you notice something on top of your folded clothes. You put the shakes down on the nearby desk before going back to the trunk.

You reach into the trunk. One hand covers your mouth in disbelief. You cannot stop smiling and a tear rolls down your cheek. You wipe it away.

“Oh, Ben,” You sigh admiring the carefully pasted together copies of your formerly torn Kade Genti comics. You cannot believe he actually fixed them and gave them back to you. You know it is a gesture of love and meant to help keep you entertained on your journey. Now, you only miss him more.


	70. Night Buzzard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers, thank you all so much for being so patient with me. I know it has been a while. I did not mean to be so delayed. I plan to update at least once a week. Thank you all for the comments and kudos. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 70

You had wanted to take your time and savor the last two volumes of the adventures of your beloved Kade Genti comics. But you could not. Your eyes absolutely devoured the books without restraint as a sarlacc does when victims fall into its pit.

How could you pace yourself when every page had a new twist? Princess Meia frees Kade form the carbonite only to be enslaved by Guppa the Hutt. Kade is forced to fight a Rancor but defeats it only to be sentenced to death by being dropped into a sarlacc. Kade is to be killed with another prisoner, a force-wielding kid who prevents their death by using the force. Princess Meia kills Guppa the Hutt and all three of them escape.

Kade leaves Meia on her home planet while he goes with the kid to find the villainous Marth. But after Kade leaves, Meia’s planet is taken over by Marth who forces her to become engaged to him. Kade returns, fights Marth with the help of the kid. As Kade, the kid, and Princess Meia fight Martha and his legions, Kade marries Meia between blows exchanged. You could not stop smiling seeing the vows they exchange while dodging shots and swords are the same vows you and Ben said when you two were married. Of course, Marth is defeated and Kade and Meia are free to begin their life together.

You know from your talk with Han that this story is based off his life but you know they have switched many things from the truth to fit a more exciting narrative for the comic book. It is most obvious to you that there were creative liberties taken when you read the epilogue. The last pages show Kade and Meia traveling together in his ship the Silver Shrike with a young daughter om Kade’s lap. The instant you read the child’s name you cannot let it slip from your mind. It is beautiful and strangely perfect. You smile and rub the printed word that is the name you know is meant for your daughter. How funny you should find it in the representation of your husband in his least favorite comic. You wonder if Ben was pissed when he found out that he was represented in the comic about his father as a little girl. But you could not help liking seeing the fictional version of Han with a little girl on his lap helping him fly the ship.

Did Han hold Ben on his lap to teach him to fly? Would Ben put Anakin and your future daughter on his lap to learn to pilot? You would love to see that even if you would not want to have to experience the turbulence that would most likely come from their lessons. You recall how the ship shook when Poe taught you to fly.

Poe…

You wonder how the young pilot is. Did he make it to the Resistance base? Did he tell Ben’s mom about you and the information you let him know? Has he gone on more missions? Does BB-8 go with him? Does he still sing when he flies for long amounts of time? Will you two ever meet again as friends or will your next encounter be as enemies or not at all?

You probably will not see Poe again. You are going straight back to Starkiller Base till the end of your pregnancy. You hope after that, you and Kylo will move off base. To where? You do not know as you never did find the right planet. You doubt Poe will come to a First Order controlled planet and so you two would not meet. Unless you succeed in turning Ben to the light and the Resistance, you are more than likely never to see the dashing young pilot again.

This is what you chose. You chose Ben. You do not regret it. But there is sadness in knowing you will not be with friends. You will not see Poe or Jyn or Han now.

You look to your bracelet where Han’s number is. You could have lied to Ben about Han but you could not. Then you chose Ben over Han. You hate that you cannot contact that man who truly wants to be in the life of your children but that is that way it must be now.

Your last interaction was not what you wanted. It was so disappointing. But your fond feelings for your father-in-law have not faded or changed to hate. You still have to hold onto the hope that he and Ben will reconcile and he will be in the lives of your children. Han and Ben can be pilot and co-pilot with a child on each lap. You can sit in the back with Chewie. Hopefully, you will learn some Shyriiwook so you can actually talk to him. It is a sweet thing to imagine.

If Snoke keeps any control then Ben will be Kylo and your children…they will be tools for the First Order. You will have to be Lady Ren. Kylo will become Supreme Leader but you doubt if he reaches that level of power that he will turn from the dark side. Of course, that is if Snoke does not turn on Kylo.

What will happen to you if Kylo falls out with Snoke? The Supreme Leader is more powerful and can easily destroy you two. And what would he do with your children?

Your heart begins to pound with anxiety as you think of the possibilities. You know you should not let yourself stress. It is not good for you or the babies. You take several breaths and walk back to your open trunk. You start to put the comic books back inside when you see another piece of paper and a long-distance transmitter. It is much newer than the one Kylo destroyed. You pick it up as well as the piece of paper. There is a number written on it. You know it is not the same transmitter code as Han’s. Did Kylo give you a transmitter so you can talk to him?

You dial the number and hold the transmitter as it rings. You wait patiently knowing that the receiver might not be available. The ringing stops. A hologram of Ben appears. Hearing Ben say your name makes your heart become fuzzy.

“Ben,” You simply say his name happy to know that he has provided a way for the two of you to be in contact despite the distance. You can be at ease now. You sit on your bed and hold the tiny Ben in your hands.

“Are you well?” He inquires after you.

“Yes. I’ve had a shake and I found the comics. Thank you. I couldn’t put them down,” You thank him. Ben snorts at the comment.

“You read them both already?”

“Yes.” You blush.

“I’m glad they have provided you some entertainment.”

“They have. I will probably read them again. I loved them, especially the ending.”

“I bet you did,” Ben mumbles.

“I’d like to see our children sit on your lap when you teach them to fly like in the comic,” You speak of your daydream. Ben smiles at the idea.

“I’d like that. I could teach you then too,” Ben offers. You bite your lip not sure how to tell him that you already learned from Poe. But you think of how differently it would be with Ben. You would actually sit on Ben’s lap.

“Maybe when the children are asleep,” You snicker suggesting what could follow the lesson. You should not think about sex with Ben, especially now. You cannot act on it because of the distance and your condition.

“Hmm.” He thinks of the possibilities.

“But tell me, Ben. How was your day?” You return to the present. He groans. Ben proceeds to complain of General Hux and speaks of the upcoming negotiations he will have on newer planets. You advise him when he asks for it. Even if the content is not necessarily positive, you are just glad to be able to speak with Ben and that he still trusts you to tell you everything.

“I have to go. I am to have dinner with the royals of Mytus,” Ben has to bring an end to your conversing.

“I understand. Let me know how everything goes,” You make sure he knows you are interested.

“Of course. But it might not be until tomorrow,” He lays out the very real possibility.

“Then I will be patiently waiting. Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight.”

“I love you,” You are sure to add. You see he is pleased to hear the words.

“Me too,” He nods then the transmission ends. You lay flat on your back and hold the transmitter close to your chest as if would be able to transmit your hug to Ben. You do hope this meeting on Mytus will be quick along with the rest of his meetings. You want him with you as soon as possible.

You receive no call in the morning despite waiting by the transmitter for hours. It is rather frustrating that he has not called. You know he must be busy but being unoccupied yourself, you are bored and restless waiting for him to call. You pace your room after drinking one of Dr. Jorner’s shakes. But the room is too small. You need to walk out your restlessness. You put the transmitter into one of the pockets of your new, loose, long black wrap dress. You decide you will walk the ship.

Up and down the halls you go not carrying to take much notice of what is what and where anything really is. Why should you? It will not be long till you get back on base and you will not have to be on foul smelling ship anymore.

The more you walk the more you do notice how filthy the ship is. You barely avoid stepping on a rat and walk around spills of differing liquids. There is dirt almost everywhere. How is this ship so disgusting? Do they never clean?

You reach the kitchenette and the room you assume is where these knights relax together. There are seats with torn padding around a round table with different colored squares on it. There are glasses and plates scattered around with some drink and bits of food on them. Some insects nibble on the leftovers. You gag. Going from the pristine Finalizer to this floating price of garbage is unsettling. It is also shocking how only Ben’s room is clean.

As much as you hated sanitation duty on Starkiller Base, you hate this mess more. You begin to collect the glasses and dishes. You carry them into the kitchen area where you find the sink full of more dirty dishes. You groan and drop your collection into the mountain. You turn on the water, brown liquid comes out at first but it soon turns clear. You bend over and find in a lower cabinet a bottle full of soap. You begin working. It is mindless work to be sure but it is nice to be distracted from your thoughts of what the future could hold.

You wipe your forehead with the back of your forearm as you smile at the work you have done. Every dish and cup in the kitchen is clean as well as the utensils. You find spaces in the cabinets to put them away. Then of course you see that the kitchen itself needs to a good cleaning as well. You use what you can to scrub down the surfaces and remove the grime. Only after you finish do you sit down on one of the poorly upholstered seats. You rub your stomach feeling some irritation there.

“I’ll win this time, Cardo,” Ushar and Cardo enter the room only to stop as if their boots stepped in tar. Their heads turn as they look over the kitchen. Their masks face you.

“Did you…did you clean this place?” Ushar asks.

“Yes. It was filthy.”

“Yeah…I know. And you…cleaned it?” He seems confused.

“Yes.”

“Hmmm,” He starts walking around and looking no longer covered, dirty kitchen. He drags his gloves fingers over the counters and appliances. Cardo also copies Ushar in checking out the cleanliness

“You did a good job,” Cardo remarks. You roll your eyes not caring about their opinions.

“You guys really need to clean up this ship. It’s disgusting and unsanitary,” You keep rubbing your stomach.

“We don’t really have a problem with how things are,” Ushar goes to the fridge. He pulls out a bottle of Axillian Ale and then a second one for Cardo. They come to the table where you sit. Ushar turns on the table causing a holochess game to appear. Ushar takes off his helmet and drops it to the ground next to his seat. You stare at Ushar when he does. You have never seen the man without his mask.

You are surprised to see he is a bit older than Ben. His brown hair is cute short and combed to the side. He sports a thick but short beard. His nose is proportional to his face and wide. He is missing a quarter of his right eyebrow. His rounded brown eyes look dull and bored.

Cardo also removes his helmet. He is about the same age as Ushar. He also possesses dark hair that has some curl but is kept short. His nose is straight and sharp at the end as if to make a point. His lips are thin and pressed together. His green eyes go to the holochess board as he too drops his helmet next to his seat.

“But feel free to clean up the place if you want. I know the guys and I wouldn’t mind having a little maid service,” Ushar is strangely too comfortable with the woman who should be his superior.

“I am no maid. I may have cleaned some in here but I expect you and the other lazy bums on this ship to clean up the rest. These conditions are unacceptable,” You state. Ushar eyebrows sink covering most of his eyes.

“You can’t be serious?”

“I am. It is not good for anyone’s health to live in this squalor,” You gesture to a rat literally passes the two of you on the floor.

“We’ve all been living just fine this way for years. You can suffer through it for a few days,” Ushar puts his ale on the table. You dislike is obvious lack of care for your orders.

“I don’t think you are understanding me, Ushar. I want this ship clean,” You straighten up.

“Our job is just to transport you and not hurt you. We don’t have to obey you. And frankly, I’m not scared of you so I’m not going to do anything you say,” Ushar grows cockier.

“Oh? So you’re not afraid that I could force choke you to death right now?”

He snorts.

“You may have scared Ap-Lek last night with your little force move but I doubt you have the stamina to choke me for long. I also have the force so I could counter out of self-defense,” he takes another swig.

“Maybe. But then you’ll have to deal with Kylo about your actions, and you who do you think he will side with? One of his knights that he barely sees or his wife?” You lay out the difference in importance. He keeps his bottle pressed to his lips though he does not drink. Cardo watches both of your silently. He considers your words. You know you are only making him dislike you more. You do not really care but you also know it is better to not make more enemies.

“Lady Ren,” Cardo speaks up.

“Yes?”

“I think it might be best for you to remain in your room till the end of the trip. Arguing with Ushar and forcing yourself to experience living in ‘squalor’ as you said will just bring about more undo stress to you. That isn’t exactly good for your condition, right?” Cardo speaks calmly and brings up your delicate pregnancy. He may be right but your pride refuses to have you follow these men’s orders. You are Lady Ren after all and they are your husband’s subordinates.

“I see your point, Cardo, but I still hold to my opinion and my desire for this ship to be more than just passable for living.”

“I understand but there is no way you could make us clean,” Cardo returns. Your lips purse at his resistance. Their eyes are on the holochess board. You know they care far more about the little game they are about to play than about your opinion.

“Ushar, Cardo,” You call their attention back to you though you can see the irritation in their eyes.

“What?” Ushar snaps.

“Before you two start your game, I’d like to make a proposition,” You see their eyes grow skeptical but interested. If they are anything like the competitive Kylo, then they may listen to you.

“What sort of proposition?” Cardo leans closer to you.

“I’d like to challenge on of you knights to a game of holochess. If I win you all have to clean the ship to my specifications and if I lose, I will not leave my room till we arrive to Starkiller Base and say nothing more about the ship and will not say anything negative about you to Kylo Ren,” You put up the offer. The men look to each other as they consider your proposal.

“It would be nice to not have to hear her whining,” Ushar speaks to Cardo as if you are not there.

“And not to have to worry about upsetting Kylo…” Cardo adds.

“You said any of us, right? So, any knight?” Ushar looks back to you finally. You nod.

“Yes.”

The men’s eyes go once more to each other and they smirk.

“Alright. We have a bet then. We will get your opponent,” Ushar stands with Cardo after they turn off the board. They leave you alone. You swallow. You hope you have dug yourself into a hole. Holochess is not that hard, right? Sure you have not played in years but surely, these meatheads are not very skilled. Right?

Ushar and Cardo return to the room with the other knights excluding Kuruk who continues to fly the ship. Ushar and Cardo stand very pleased with themselves as they push forward the one they believe to be their champion.

“You will play Vicrul. He is the best at Holochess,” Ushar smiles.

“Okay,” you sit closer to the round table. Vicrul takes a seat across from you. He takes off his helmet while Cardo and Ushar reclaim theirs. You like that you will get to see what your opponent truly looks like. You are not disappointed.

Unlike the others in the knights, Vicrul looks rather youthful but you doubt that he is younger than Ben. You learned from Ben a while back that he is the youngest of the group. Still, Vicrul looks fresh faced and handsome. His skin is darker than Cardo, Ushar and Ben’s but not quite as dark as FN-2187. There is a cleft in his chin that has some stubble. His lips are pert and slightly red. The beginnings of a mustache are below his upturn nose. His eyes are lovely, you think. They hold an almond shape and are a dark brown just like his hair. He had some closely cut curls on the top of his head while the sides and back of his head have been shaved to keep trim. It is a flattering cut.

“I do expect that you will not do the mind reading thing,” Vicrul brings up the display you did yesterday.

“I will control myself,” You answer as he seems to want to keep this an honest match. 

“So, you promise that if you lose you will stay in your room till we arrive to Starkiller Base and say nothing to Kylo about us that would provoke him against us, right?” Cardo reviews the terms.

“Yes. And if I win, all of you have to clean this ship to my specifications,” You remind them of your side. The knights all nod in agreement. You reach over to seal the deal with a handshake with Vicrul. He takes your hand and shakes. Vicrul turns on the holochess game. You look at the pieces.

“I should warn you. I have never lost a game of holochess in my life,” Vicrul smiles. You know this is meant to intimidate you. You are intimidated. You do not have the same record as him and now you realize that he probably plays all of the time. But it does not matter. You will win and you will have a cleaned ship.

“Is that so? Then I look forward to tarnishing your record,” You return. He snorts and rolls his eyes. He is very sure of himself.

“You may move first, Lady Ren,” He gestures to your pieces. You nod and begin.


	71. Dejarik

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! I'm on sick leave so I have more time to write while my body is trying to heal. Thank you all for over a thousand kudos! I am so grateful! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 71

Two moves into dejarik (or holochess as you prefer to call it) and you are already starting to sweat as Vicrul has killed one of your preferred pieces. You will not allow him to see how nervous you are though. You do not want him to grow too confident. You learned from your former opponents that distracting them with conversation can work to your advantage. Of course, you are not sure how to speak to this man.

“That was a very good move, Vicrul,” You compliment him as you plot out your next move. “Are you as bold in battle?”

You move a piece forward.

“It depends on my opponent,” He stares hard at the board.

“Oh?”

“Some are better to attack outright while others are the sort I must take my time with,” His eyes do not leave the board.

“And how do you determine who is what type?” You are curious.

“The weaker the opponent, the quicker I attack,” He returns and makes another move causing another piece of yours to die.

“You think I’m weak, I see,” You do not fail to notice his move. His lips curl up snidely.

“Your moves give away your lack of forethought. So, in this battle of minds, you are weak,” He is not afraid to belittle you. You sense the amusement the other knights share.

“I am not as experienced as you in this game but I believe this battle will end in my victory,” You send forward another piece.

“You are confident, Lady Ren. Are you genuine or putting on a brave face?” He makes a simple move forward with no attack.

“I try to always be genuine, Vicrul. Pretending to be someone I’m not is tiring.” You make a quick move. Vicrul studies the board again.

“So, are you really the devoted, overly-attached, cock-hungry wife you have made us and Kylo believe you to be?” Vicrul makes you blush especially at the term “cock-hungry”. His eyes lift up to you as he makes a move. You will not let him embarrass you. You are not ashamed that you are exactly that.

“As a matter of fact, I am devoted, overly-attached and absolutely cock-hungry for him. I know that must seem unusual to you as you clearly have no one willing to be like this you,” You are sure to make a jab at him as you allow your piece to clobber his. He scowls at your move and slightly at your comment.

“I have no need for love, Lady Ren. Love is weakness,” Vicrul glares at you. His words remind you of Kylo’s from when you first told him you loved him. You suppose his mindset is these men’s fault.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Someone in love such as yourself is utterly vulnerable. I do not even have to harm you at all to destroy you. I just have to hurt the ones you love and you will bend to my will,” He explains further. He makes another dominating move on the board.

“I suppose you are right. Love leaves us open to harm but…I have found that love gives one a strength that cannot be gained by physical feats or even through the force,” You share your experience. Vicrul rolls his eyes.

“You don’t really believe that Kylo loves you, do you?” Vicrul makes you freeze.

“Do you think he does not?”

“Yes.”

Yes? Why would he say yes?

“Oh? Why is that?” You try to remain casual as you move a piece that takes his. He does nto seem to care anymore about the game. Vicrul focuses his eyes on yours.

“A knight of Ren is loyal to his brothers but loves none but himself. A knight must embrace hate and anger as this deepens his bond with the dark side of the force which will give him power. Power is everything and a knight must not let his power drain away for such novelties as love, family and friends. Friendship is only tolerated within the group. Other relationships just lead to us having to develop consciences, morals and concerns. We are to live without those. These are the tenets set by our original Ren. We have all followed it.

When Kylo came to us he was just a padawan under that old shit Luke Skywalker. We taught him these tenets alongside Ren. We helped train him to be our master and fearless leader. He is the best of us. Yes, he is wholeheartedly indulging in the pleasures of sex as most do after losing their virginity. But that does not mean he actually loves you. As he is inexperienced with how these sorts of relationships, he has gone so far to keep your pussy in place that he married you. Now, you have tried to trap him further by getting yourself pregnant. You have given him an obligation to stay with you. I know I’d have left your ass long ago and would not give a second thought about you being pregnant. Kylo is different because of his sensitive upbringing. But I know at his core he is still a knight. He knows at some point you will be betray him. That is why he will not allow himself to ever love you or the little bastard growing in you. He will always end up choosing himself over you. I mean if he loved you, he would have defied Snoke’s orders to take you back to base. But he chose to save his own skin,” Vicrul full heartedly believes what he says. He has known your husband much longer than you after all. He moves a piece. He takes it.

You are silent as you consider Vicrul’s words. You look at the board though you are no longer considering the game. Vicrul’s mention of you current issue with Kylo hits harder.

Vicrul can obviously sense that he has hit the nail on the head. He smirks.

“Are you going to move, Lady Ren?” Vicrul points out your lack of movement.

“Of course, I am,” You go to move your piece. You hate how Vicrul has touched a nerve and provoked a question in you. Does Kylo really not love you? Will he always choose himself over you?

You stop. You see what Vicrul has done. Your piece hovers in limbo over a new space. You realize you and your piece are falling into his trap. He wants you to lose this game. He wants you to also lose your trust in Kylo. You know Kylo loves you. He has shown it and verbally acknowledged it. He did not come because you both know it will be better in the long run. Kylo loves you despite what his friends say or think. You may never convince them of this but it is not your place. It does not matter if these knights think that Kylo loves you. You just need these knights to know you are not weak.

“You know, Vicrul, you almost had me but…” You move your piece to a better place. You smile watching yours attack his. “I know Kylo better than you and apparently this game too.”

Vicrul glowers when your piece defeats his strongest one. All that is left now are your last piece and his. He has to move his weaker one to your still strong one. They must battle to be the last on the dejarik board. Your Ng’ok destroys his K’lor’slug. You grin at your victory. Vicrul’s hands ball into fists. He slams them on the table.

“Sonvabitch! Fucking shit! Shit! Shit!” Vicrul swears as he stands. His reaction is juvenile and something you have seen with Kylo. You stand up calmly.

“I’ll be in my room preparing a list for you boys. I suggest you go ahead and find your cleaning supplies and some aprons,” You start away from the game table. The men all curse, groan, and express their frustration over their new duties they will have to perform.

As you walk back you feel very satisfied. You cannot wait to watch these overly macho men clean this piece of junk to your liking. You grow giddy at the thought of sharing your victory with Ben when he calls. You slow your walk. If he calls… Why has he not called?

You pull out the transmitter wondering if there is something wrong with it. Is the signal jammed? Is it turned off? Is his turned off? Did he break during a tantrum? Did he misplace it? You wish you could just call him but he said he would call you…You do not want to call and interrupt an important meeting especially just to tell him you bested one of the assholes he has for friends.

You put the transmitter back into your pocket. You reach your room and begin to detail the cleaning list for the knights.

* * *

You walk around the Night Buzzard with a smile on your face that you know the knights will consider bitchy. You do not care. You beat Vicrul and you enjoyed seeing Vicrul and the others on their knees scrubbing the floors till they shine and cleaning every disgusting crevice this ship has. Finally, there is a clean scent in the air and not the noxious fumes there was earlier. You drag your finger of the surfaces to see if there is any dust or dirt. There is none so you turn to Kuruk who was charged with cleaning the cockpit.

“Very good,” You express your pleasure. Though his eyes are hidden you bet he has rolled them. The other men stand in the cockpit waiting for you to free them of their cleaning duties.

“You did good, boys,” You refer to them this way as to degrade them just a little bit. “I am satisfied. You can go about your daily routines now.”

You wave your hand dismissively and walk between them as they part for you. You can hear some of their unblocked thoughts. ‘Bitch’, ‘cunt’, and ‘whore’ are the reoccurring titles they have for you. You do not care about the opinions of vermin. You have asserted your dominance over them now. You return to your room and lie on the bed. You did not realize how tiring it is to inspect an entire ship.

Just as you are going to close your eyes to sleep, you hear the transmitter in your pocket ringing. You pull it out and sit up. You answer the call and see Kylo in little hologram form. You beam.

“Ben,” You make him smile. He calls you by your name.

“What took you so long to call? I’ve bene waiting all day!” You want to know.

“We had some difficult negotiations I could nto get away from until now.”

“Oh, I see. Did they end well?”

“Yes. But I don’t care to talk about it now. Tell me what you have done. I am sure it will be more exciting than my day,” Ben inquires after you.

“Well, I played holochess with Vicrul.”

“Oh? I hope you didn’t take the loss too hard,” Ben assumes the other is the victor. You grin.

“You underestimate me, Ben. I am the one who won,” You state proudly. His mouth drops open slightly.

“You beat Vicrul?”

“Yep. And so, the he and the other knights have spent the day cleaning this ship form top to bottom before my instructions,” You are pride yourself on the victory. Ben snorts amused at the thought of the knights having to clean. Not a single day with the knights did Ben ever see one clean. He was the one who kept his quarters clean.

“I wish I were there to see that and Vicrul’s loss,” Ben admits.

“I wish you were here too. When will you begin coming toward Starkiller base?” You hope it is soon. Ben presses his lips together. You do not like what this could mean.

“We still have several more planets to visit. I don’t know how long it will take,” His answer is not pleasing.

“I understand,” You have to understand. It is his job to do this.

Ben sees the disappointment on your face. He starts to reach out but stops. He cannot touch you through the transmitter.

“How have you been feeling? Any more bleeding or pain?” Ben brings up your condition.

“Nothing is out of the ordinary. I feel fine. I’m just a bit tired.”

“You should sleep then,” Ben recommends.

“I will but I want to talk to you,” You give away your current priorities.

“I will talk with you tomorrow. Sleep now,” He presses.

“But-”

“Sleep,” He will not stop insisting. You nod your head.

“I love you,” You inform him about what he already knows.

“Me too,” He ends the call. You lie down with the transmitter next to you. You wish the transmitter would somehow magically turn into Ben. You imagine him there next to you. He could hold you in his arms giving you extra warmth. You could listen to his steady heartbeat or his smooth voice. His scent would fill your nose and his body your arms. You fantasize until finally you are given over to slumber.


	72. Ansion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 72

Three days on the Night Buzzard and you are about to lose your mind. You only seem to speak with Ben at night and the conversations are short as he wants you to rest. You spend the rest of your time drinking Dr. Jorner’s shakes, walking the still clean Night Buzzard and being ignored by the knights of Ren. You have reread the Kade Genti comics a few times but you need something else to entertain you.

You walk about the ship bored. You wish you could get off this blasted ship but alas the knights have said they are not stopping till you reach Starkiller base. Every time you have asked how much longer that will be, you are met with shrugs, silence or ‘how long it takes’. It makes you almost scream when they say that last line.

You pass one of the large windows of the ship. You see a vast sea of endless stars and a planet. You are surprised at the close proximity you are to it. It is mostly a mix of yellow and green colors btu you can see large splotches of blue indicating an ocean. You stand and stare at it wishing you on there instead of this ship. If only you could convince the knights to take you there.

“Huh?” You realize the planet is getting bigger meaning the ship is getting closer. Had the knights someone heard your secret wish and are fulfilling it? That would be impossible. Still, you are growing closer to the planet. You scurry away from the window in search of one of the helmet covered men for an answer.

As you round a corner you see Trudgen and Ushar speaking. You stop before they can see you.

“Kuruk says we have to stop here on Ansion to get fuel or else we will run out before we can reach base,” Ushar informs Trudgen and unknowingly answers your question.

“It will be good to get off ship. Maybe get some Ansion whiskey,” Trudgen voices the possible perk of stopping.

“Yeah. The others also want to get somethings here,” Ushar references the others.

“So, who is going to stay on board with the bitch?” Trudgen is referring to you of course.

“We might have to play boulder, paper, saber to decide,” Ushar brings up the old rather childish game.

“Or we could just lock her in the ship,” Trudgen suggests.

“She could probably use the force to open it or go bitch and whine to Kylo about being left alone on the ship,” Ushar groans.

“Or I can just go off ship with you dolts,” You finally make your presence known. They jump at your reveal.

“Lady Ren,” They address you.

“How soon till we reach Ansion?” You inquire.

“An hour. But you should not go off ship in your state,” Ushar pretends to care about your pregnancy.

“I am fine. Thank you for your fake concern,” You are not afraid to call out his falsehood.

“I do not think Kylo would be happy to have you roaming about Ansion with us while you are pregnant,” Ushar brings up Kylo.

“If I’m happy, Kylo is happy. So, I will be coming along,” You straighten up more and hold your head just a little higher. “I’ll see you two and the others in an hour.”

They groan among themselves but you quickly set course for your room. You are so excited. Finally, you will get off this ship and out into the real world. You cannot go out in the loose box dress you wear now that you slept in last night. You go through your trunk and look at the packed dresses. You begin to realize the dresses Kylo packed are the more modest ones. You laugh to yourself. Did Kylo want you to look more conservative during your journey with the knights? Are the more sexualized clothing just for him? You do not want to look “sexy” for others but these shapeless dresses are not exactly flattering. You find a few decent ones. You pick a maroon dress that has a scalloped hem that reaches your knees. Your wrist length sleeves end with scalloped edges as well as the v-neckline. You style your hair having found it has grown a lot since you cut it at Canto Bight. It is not as long as it was before but still it is longer.

You attach her lightsaber holding belt around your waist and put the transmitter into one of the pockets of your dress. You squeal in delight several times knowing you can get off the ship. You leave your room when the hour is up. You feel the ship land. You go toward the ship’s exit where the except Kuruk stand. The knights go silent when you come up to them.

“Are we waiting for Kuruk?” You ask. Ap’lek nods.

“I see. Now, who has the arduous duty of keeping an eye on me?” You bring up the issue they probably were discussing before you arrived.

“We have to wait for Kuruk so we can decide,” Vicrul answers.

“I see. Then will is be boulder, paper, saber?” You recall the game Ushar had mentioned earlier. They do not answer as Kuruk enters the room.

“Come, Kuruk,” Vicrul calls him. The men form a circle with their backs to you. There is a titter as they pick an opponent to play. They shake their fists and you can hear the faint chant ‘Boulder, paper, saber, shoot!’. Three step out as they are the victors in their group. Kuruk, Vicrul and Ap’Lek stand at the last three. They turn to each other.

“Boulder, paper, saber, shoot!” They say. Kuruk and Ap’Lek produce boulders as Vicrul produces paper. Vicrul steps out leaving the other two. You find yourself hoping it will be Kuruk who loses who you will not be stuck with Ap’Lek.

Three times they produce the same hands sign. They huff in frustration at their inability to defeat each other.

“One more time, guys, or you will both be stuck with her,” Vicrul sets the new condition.

‘Boulder, paper, saber, shoot!” They go once more. Their fist fall.

“Fuck,” Kuruk sees that his saber is crushed by Ap’Lek’s boulder. He throws his hands down as Ap’Lek walks away haughtily.

“We all meet back here in three hours,” Vicrul gives the time limit. You nod along with the knights. You follow the group off the ship. You want to walk away from the ship but Kuruk grabs your arm.

“What is it?” You stop.

“We have to get fuel,” He points to the ship.

“Ah, right,” You remember now the whole purpose for this stop.

Getting a tour of the docking bay and the fuel depot is not exactly what you wanted to do on your little stop. But it is something different in comparison to being cooped up in the ship. You stand with Kuruk and the fueling droid at the ship waiting for the reserves to be filled. You find nothing fascinating about it and so you begin to walk.

“Where are you going?” Kuruk snaps at you.

“I’m walking the perimeter of the ship. Don’t worry, I’m not going to run off or whatever,” You do not stop but wave your hand.

The Night Buzzard is huge and so you know the walk will take some time. You have it so you do not mind. You do not focus on the exterior of the ship but instead take in the various ships docked nearby. They come in all shapes and sizes. You see different group exit the ships. There obvious merchants and some pirates that come off their ships. You prefer the families that exit their personal ships. Seeing happy husbands, wives, and children make you happy. You watch one particular family leave their modest ship. The husband and tall and dark haired. The children share their father’s dark locks. The wife has look similar to your own. She holds the hands of her children but exchanges loving looks to her husband. Will you and Ben like this one day?

As they pass on by you, your eye catches something glimmering in the sunlight. You walk further forward to see the shine comes from a ship. You cover your spreading lips as you recognize the sparkling copper ship.

You start for the ship. If the Gilded Osprey is here then surely that means that Poe is too!

You stop as you reach your old ship. You see the ramp is not lowered meaning it is safely locked and secured. Poe must be off the ship and somewhere local on this planet. You have to find him. You have to see that he is well and let him know all went right on Naboo for Jyn and that you are alive. He will probably be at a cantina so you will have to start at those. It will be a worthy hunt. You must go find him now!

You start away from the Gilded Osprey and start toward where the exit of the docking bay is to be. As you soon as you turn you remember where you are and what you are doing and who you are with. You are not a free bird allow to fly about willy-nilly and titter to whomever you want. No. You are Lady Ren on Ansion with the Knights of Ren while on your way to Starkiller Base so you can have Kylo Ren’s babies. You cannot find Poe. He will be put in danger if the knights see him. You would not be able to protect him from them either as that would raise suspicion about you. A suspicion that would not be easily swept away.

You head back to Kuruk. When you reach him, you are relieved to see that the fueling is over.

“Can we leave this dull docking bay now?” You ask. He just nods and starts walking. Kuruk does not break the silence as the two of you walk. You do not attempt to break it either. Your mind is on possibly seeing and avoiding Poe not trying to connect with Kuruk.

You take a deep breath once out of the docking bay. The air is much cleaner out in the city than in the bay or even on the Night Buzzard. You know the air would be fresher elsewhere but you are content with the city air.

You follow Kuruk through the city as he seems to know where he is going. You just enjoy the walk. You can smell sweets in the air but you know you cannot eat any of it as you do not want to risk anything that can compromise your pregnancy again. Kuruk does not stop for food either. He ventures deep into the city and finally turns into shop. You read the sign before you enter.

“Sassanbrach Comics,” You are surprised this is the shop where Kuruk stops. You enter the dark store where there are table covered in boxes full of paper comic books. 

“Welcome to Sassanbrach Comics,” An Ansionian greets smiling. You smile to the single nostril, bug eyed shopkeeper.

“Is there anything I can help you find?” The shopkeeper approaches you and Kuruk. You turn to Kuruk. You have nothing you need since you got the last Kade Genti comics on Canto Bight.

“Where are your Kade Genti comics?” Kuruk surprises you with his answer.

“Oh, we have these boxes here,” the shopkeeper leads the way. You stick next to Kuruk as he begins searching the boxes. You are amazed at the amount of Kade Genti comics before you. It took nearly your whole life to collect each issue and here they are all together with multiple copies in a box.

“I didn’t know you like Kade Genti comics, Kuruk,” You finally speak to Kuruk.

“They are a good source of entertainment,” Kuruk does not lift his head to look at you. He is focused only on the books.

“I think so too.”

“You read Kade Genti comics?” Kuruk still does not lift his head but slows his searching.

“Yes. I’ve read them all now.”

Kuruk stops and raises his head.

“You have read them all?”

“Yes. It took forever but I finally finished the series,” You share.

“You read the final two volumes?” Kuruk seems surprised.

“Yes.”

“But there were only a thousand copies printed and released before the comic press was destroyed. How did you get to read the final volumes?”

“I bought them on Canto Bight.”

“Canto Bight had them? Fuck. I knew I should have looked there when we stopped,” Kuruk berates himself.

“Is that what you are looking for here?” You look to the box.

“Yes. They are the only ones I am missing from my collection,” He turns attention back to the box as well.

“Hm. I see,” You begin looking through the other box marked for Kade Genti comics.

“What are you doing?” Kuruk notices your searching.

“I’m helping you look,” You answer. He lets out a confused noise but otherwise says nothing and returns to his search. You look through the box but find no copies of the volumes he desires.

“Are these the only boxes you have?” Kuruk asks the shopkeeper. He nods an affirmative. Kuruk slams his fists on the table then shoots for the door. You rush to follow him. He just stomps down the road. His disappointment is obvious. You know you could solve his problem easily by letting him at least read your recently repaired copies. You barely know this man though and do not know if he is really worth giving over you comics to him.

“I need a drink,” Kuruk steps into the closest cantina. You go in with him.

Strangely this cantina is well lit. There is no air of smoke. Everything is very clean. The surface of the bar reflects the bright lights that hang from the ceiling. Yellow curtains hang from the ceiling in front of the booths where patrons can sit. There is a band of Ansionians and Gwurrans who play a light ditty. Some people dance on the floor near them. The cantina is rather full but that does not stop Kuruk from coming up to the bar where a green, three fingered Armalat works.

“Two shots of Ansionian and whiskey, a pint of Adumaran Beer and a bowl of foodstuffs,” Kuruk orders. The bartender nods and begins to work right away. You do not know how well you trust him to fly the ship hearing his drink order. You have to assume he has a high alcohol tolerance. The bartender hands over the items after taking some credits from Kuruk. Hands full, Kuruk walks to a booth that has just been emptied. You go with him and sit behind the yellow curtain. He takes off his helmet so he can quickly take his two shots.

Kuruk’s yellow and brown hair is a surprise. As are his large, deep blue-green eyes. His square jaw clenches as he recovers from the two shots that burn his throat. He rubs his rather short nose with his finger which plays causes a game of peek-a-boo with the noticeable freckle by his right nostril. He brings his pint to his tight pink lips as he starts to drink. Watching the liquid disappear makes you realize your need for the lavatory. You start to get up.

“Where are you going?” he puts his cup down.

“I am just going to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” You open the curtain and walk away. You have to shimmy pass other guests on your way. Once you find the bathroom, you quickly relieve yourself. You splash some water on your face after washing your hands. You start back out of the bathroom. You see the cantina has become even fuller since your short departure. You pause and wait by the bathroom trying to ready yourself to cross through the masses to get back to Kuruk. 

Passing through the dance area, you near the musicians. Their instruments send good vibrations through the room with their speedy melodies. You find your own head nodding along with the beat. Just as you are tempted to begin to dance, the song ends. The players take several breaths before they prepare for the next song. You suppose you might look silly dancing alone, and so you decide to return to your search for Kuruk’s table. You turn your back to the players who return to their instruments. As your eyes search over those preparing to dance, someone comes into view. The band begin their song. It is a mesmerizing one you have heard before from what feels like forever ago. There are hints of ticks and tocks among the prominent noise of “ooooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ah ooohh ooh ooh”.

Of course, this is the song that plays the moment you see him. Your heart skips seeing the black curls, stubbled face, kind eyes, and full lips on the man you thought you would never see again.

“Poe!” You call out before you can control your mouth. His neck almost snaps when his head whips to the one who calls him. His eyes take a minute to run over the crowd before they land on you. He smiles.

“Meia!” He calls to you. You and Poe weave through the crowd till you two meet against a curtain wall just a foot away from the caged dancer. Arms wrap around each other once he reaches you. Neither of you care who sees you two embracing.

“I thought that I would never see you again,” He breathes into your hair.

“I thought the same,” You pull back to look at his ruggedly handsome face but you keep each other in your arms, “Why are you here?”

“I’m on mission for the Resistance. I was just about to leave my meeting with a dealer here when you called me,” He whispers his answer not sure of who might be listening. He pulls you to the side of the room away from the dancing people.

“Oh! Well, is BB-8 here too?” You look for the droid.

“He’s on your ship, Captain,” he teases your nickname. You remember now you had seen the ship. You also remember that you were not supposed to see him. But you ar ein a crowd and Kuruk is drinking at a far away table. Surely this is fine.

“But how are _you_ here? The last time I saw you, you were going to give yourself up to the Knights of Ren. What happened? How did you escape?” Strangely his hands tighten on you as if you secure you from moving anywhere away from him.

You bite your lower lip and downcast your eyes. Poe would not be pleased to know what you did and what you are actually doing. 

“I didn’t escape,” You look back up at him.

“You didn’t? Then how are you…here?” He does not understand.

“I…I did what had to for Jyn… and the Naberries,” You keep it vague.

“What did you do?”

You still do not want to answer.

“You can tell me, honey,” He gently pressures you and calls you by the pet name you do not mind.

“I gave my life back to the First Order so that Jyn could be free. She and the Naberries will be safe from now on,” You still do not give too much detail as to what that means.

“You have joined back with the First Order?” Poe’s brows come together perplexed.

“I am. It was a part of the deal I had to make. But I did not tell them anything about the Resistance,” You swear not wanting to lose Poe’s faith in you.

“I didn’t think you would. But how are you here? Would they not have made you a trooper again?” Poe’s reasoning is sound. You should have been sent to reconditioning and set back as a cadet if not executed for desertion. Of course, you are now number three in the First Order, according to Kylo.

“They should have killed me but the deal made has kept me in my former position as an apprentice to Commander Ren,” You give another vague version of the truth.

“Kylo Ren…I am surprised he showed such mercy,” Poe does not know if he should laugh or not.

“He has his moments.”

“Is he here now? Is he in the Cantina?” Poe begins to look around the area.

“No. He is on a mission. I am just here with the knights of Ren while we travel back to base.”

“I do not see the knights anywhere,” Poe keeps looking.

“There is only one in here and he is busy drinking,” You answer.

“So, you are unattended then. We could go now. I can take you with me and-” Poe starts to hastily plan an escape.

“No. I can’t go with you. I have to stay with the knights and go back to base. I cannot leave,” You shake your head.

“Why not?”

“I will have broken my promise. Jyn could be hurt and Commander Ren will not be merciful a second time.”

“We could get Jyn too. I can you safe,” Poe’s eyes are soft but desperate for you to agree to his plot.

“He will find me. He always does.”

“I doubt he will look for an apprentice who has abandoned him for a second time. He can find a new one,” Poe scoffs.

“There are certain bonds between masters and apprentices that are hard to break and to replace. Our bond is especially hard to break,” You turn your eyes from again. Poe stares at you long and hard. His mind begins to piece certain things together.

“He’s your ex, isn’t he?” Poe’s hands leave you.

“Um…uh….well…yes and well…no. I mean he-he’s not my ex anymore…”

You see the look of disgust on Poe’s face.

“You got back with him? He’s a fucking monster who has caused the deaths of so many _and_ broke your heart. You said yourself that he doesn’t love you. How can you be back with him?” Poe does not understand.

“I had to.”

“Had to? Was that apart of your deal? You become his fuck toy in exchange for Jyn’s life?” Poe’s theory makes him disgust subside a smidge.

“I did not become his fuck toy. I became his…” You struggle to say.

“His what?” Poe is impatient for the rest of the sentence.

“His wife.”

Color drains from Poe’s face. His eyes begin to lose their light. Immobile, he stands unsure of how you could marry the First Order’s personal monster. It pains you to look at him and to feel his disappointment, confusion, hurt, and anger.

“Poe, please, don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. Binding yourself to him for the sake of your best friend’s freedom is admirable. But I-did you even hesitate to accept that deal?” Poe wonders but his real question is ‘Did you even like me enough to think of refusing him or did you blindly return to the man you once loved?’

“I had my reservations but I had to do what was best everyone.”

“You married a man for the sake of others. How is that best for _everyone_? How is _he_ of all people _best_ for _you_?” Poe wants you to focus on yourself. You take Poe’s rough hands in yours. You do not move your eyes from him.

“I don’t know if he is the best for me but I do know I love him. I want what is best for him and I think us being together is that. “

Poe pulls his hands out of yours. He takes a deep breath.

“Love has made you a fool…and my enemy.”

“I may be a fool but I am not you enemy. Poe, please, don’t end our friendship over this,” You try to grab him again but he avoids your hold.

“You are First Order. I am Resistance. We cannot be friends,” He has made up his mind. He steps to leave. You grab him by his wrist.

“I am not First Order. I am just me. Please, Poe, don’t leave this way,” You beseech him. You see the moisture in his eyes.

“You’ve made your choice and now I am making mine,” he rips himself from you.

“Poe,” You find yourself sob as he walks away. He does not look back at you. Feeling your tears on your cheeks you wipe at them. You cannot cry here. You cannot cry on the ship either. You have to hold it and suppress it. You made your choice. You chose Ben and because of that you must face the consequences. Ben is the right choice. You know this. But…hopefully, one day Poe will be you friend once more. Perhaps he will forgive you once Ben turns. 

The people around you still smile and hold merry moods. But you do not feel any mirth and hold no positive facial expression. The loss begins to weigh you down. You start to wish you had just stayed on the ship.

“Lady Ren,” You hear Kuruk’s voice. You tense up hearing him. You slowly turn to look at him, he has his helmet back on him. You fake a smile.

“Kuruk,” You nod to him. You hope he did not just see you with Poe. “What are you doing away from the table?”

“You were taking a long time so I came to find you,” he gives his reason.

“How sweet of you, Kuruk. I was just on my way. The crowd is very thick so it was taking a moment,” You lie.

“So, who was that? One of your secret lovers from when you were on the run the first time?”

You bite your tongue.

“He’s nobody,” you deny your association with him.

“Oh? Then if I tell Kylo about him, he will have no reason to get angry?”

How can you not be nervous now? Telling Kylo of your passing with Poe will only upset him. Though you were rejecting Poe’s offer to leave, Kylo might not see it that way especially if it is one of his knights telling him. You cannot let him see that he has you.

“No. Kylo would not be upset,” You bluff.

“That is good then. He has a nasty temper,” Kuruk tells you what you already know.

“Yes, you should have seen what he did to my final two volumes of the Kade Genti comic books. Fortunately, he fixed them and let me bring them with me on this trip,” You eegway back to something know Kuruk likes.

“You have them on the Night Buzzard?” His interest is not hidden well in his voice.

“Yes. I’d be willing to let you read them if you stop teasing this whole thing about me speaking to a stranger to Kylo,” You offer. Kuruk is silent for a minute making you wonder if he will get on board.

“It could slip my mind,” Kuruk accepts. You smile.

“Good. Let’s get back to the ship then so you can have time to read.”


	73. Heading to Bases

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! You guys are the best! Please, enjoy this chapter.

#  **Chapter 73**

You do not leave your quarters after you hand over your comic books to Kuruk. You are sad after all and know that tonight you should arrive at Starkiller Base so what is the point with interacting with anymore of the knights.

You lie on your bed thinking of Poe. You hated the way he looked at you. You hated how he left you. You have lost him all over again. Jyn is gone, Han and Chewie are on the no communication list, and Poe now has completely cut you off. You have FN-2187 but that is a delicate situation because of Kylo’s jealousy.

You only have Ben now. But these past few days show that also do not have him. He is not around now and all your conversations with him on the transmitter are short and superficial. You have no idea when he will join you back on base. You only have yourself.

No. You have the twins. They may not be born but they are with you. You just have to wait for seven-ish months to hold them in your arms. Until then you get to hold them inside of you. You cannot miscarry. You have to hope that Dr. Ryza tells you better news than Dr. Jorner did. 

You rest your eyes. You will allow yourself to sleep with the mindset you will wake at Starkiller Base and have a communication with Ben that is not less than ten minutes long. 

* * *

The Gilded Osprey shoots through the sky on its long journey back toward the Resistance base on D’Qar. Although his mission on Ansion was successful he feels no pride or happiness in his work. He only feels disgust, anger, betrayal and sadness. 

BB-8 beeps out his curiosity as to why Poe seems to be in such an ill mood.

“It’s nothing, buddy,” Poe lies. As much as he does trust the droid, he does not want to talk about his broken heart now.

No! He is not broken-hearted. That would imply that he felt something more for you than just friendship. He has told himself several times over the past weeks that he had not loved you. He had not. If he had loved you he would not have allowed you to go with the Knights of Ren on Naboo. He would have made you leave with him and saved you. He also could not be in love with you as he had not known you long. It took months before he thought himself in love with Oskarr and Elvirna. He could not have fallen in love with you just within a few days. 

But it had been different with you in comparison with his exes. They had been his friends and comrades for years before he developed any sort of attraction or feeling for them. With you...when he first saw you in your red dress on Canto Bight, everything in the world seemed to slow even the music. You stole the air out of his lungs. 

_Damn._ He had thought. 

Immediately all history of beautiful women in his mind had been wiped away. When he had to conjure an image to be synonymous with beauty, this woman in the red dress was the only answer. 

Had he more courage and had you not already been in the company of another man, Poe would have attempted to bewitch you as you had him. He had pulled out lines and moves he had been taught over the years in hopes of convincing you to spend some time with him. But he had let you walk away and thought you a passing glimpse of the divine that he would never see again. 

Poe nearly shat himself when he found you hiding in his ship. He could not believe the odds. Sure he had to do the logical thing and question you. After he learned that you left the First Order and then you saved his life twice, he could not stop himself from liking you more.

When he found you crying because your heart was broken he wanted to help you. He wanted to kill the one who hurt you. He was not exactly sure why. Yes, he knew it was a man from the First Order but it was more than just because this mysterious man was from his enemy. He had hoped that maybe in time your fresh friendship could mature into something...more. You two almost did kiss on Naboo. You did kiss him on the cheek when you made him leave you. How he treasured that feeling, the feeling of your lips on him. He often thought about the rather platonic kiss with the secret wish it had been somewhere else and not a sign of farewell. 

Hearing you call his name in that Cantina, the dwindling flame of hope he had to see you again flared up. Seeing you everything was like the first. No air, no time. There was only a need to hold you in his arms and know this was not an illusion. 

Holding you in his arms, gave Poe such relief. He was even pleasantly surprised to find you felt thicker which allowed him to know you had not been starved after your capture. His eyes ran over your fresh face and your growing hair. You were healthy and alive. He had been so happy. So happy. 

Now, he is just...disgusted. He was yearning for a woman who loved not just some random First Order bloke but their monstrous leader Kylo Ren. How could you? How could you love him? How could you marry him and return to the organization you no longer supported? 

Jyn. You had told him it was for Jyn’s sake. He could respect that. He did respect that. He has known of your unfailing loyalty to your claimed sister. He understands sacrificing things for those you love but you had to go this far? You had to marry Kylo fucking Ren? 

Did you really have to be forced to marry Ren? You said you loved him. You had loved Ren when you and Poe first met. Of course how could you tell him that you were running away from Kylo Ren because he did not love you and not because you hated the First Order and wanted a better life? Poe knows you were not lying about your feelings for the First Order or your desire for a new life. But knowing that Kylo Ren being a terrible lover is upsetting new information. And now you two have married. Why would Kylo Ren marry you? You said he did not love you. Did he change his mind? Does Kylo Ren love? 

No! Kylo Ren cannot be capable of something so human. Kylo Ren is a monster who must have used the force to entrance your mind. Poe has heard of force wielded being able to mind tricks. You must be a victim to a powerful one. 

Or maybe you said all of that because the knights were nearby. You had said one was in the cantina with you. She could not risk being seen running away or who knows what would have happened. 

Still, Poe should have made you go with him. He should have dragged you out of that cantina, shot the knight there, and taken you with him to D’Qar. Why did he let his anger overtake him? He should not have stormed away. He could see in your eyes how you wanted him to stay, to forgive you, to not end what you two had. 

“Dammit!” Poe throws his head back hitting the back of his seat as he slaps the controls of the ship. BB-8 chirps his concern and curiosity as to Poe’s sudden action.

“I’ve really messed up, BB-8,” Poe sighs looking to the round droid. 

It is too late to fix this mistake. He cannot go back to Ansion to find you. You are probably gone already. The odds of you seeing each other again are even lower now. But he cannot lose hope. General Organa always says to never lose hope. So he must keep his hope that he will see you again.

* * *

Setting foot back in Starkiller Base, you feel minimal relief. You are glad to be off the Night Buzzard and back somewhere familiar. But you would rather be somewhere unfamiliar and with Ben than here by yourself. 

You are not greeted by anyone except a droid that intends to take your trunk. You make the quiet journey to your and Ben’s bedroom. After the droid leaves the trunk in the room, it rolls away without a sound. You undress and put on a nightgown as you know tonight you will have to sleep single in this cold bed wishing for Ben’s warmth. 

You unpack your trunk. You put the last shake on your desk then grab the returned comics there as well. You were glad that Kursk returned then to you after he read them. 

“How did you like them?” You asked when he brought them back and you put them in your trunk.

“Meh. I think they indulged the fans too much by having Kade and Princess Meia marry,” he shocked you.

“What?”

“How can Kade go on living his life as a rogue smuggler with a royal wife and then a kid. It just wouldn’t work,” Kuruk gave his plan.

“Kade does not have to go on as a smuggler. He and Meia can live on her planet as princess and prince.”

“As if Kade could enjoy being a kept man. He needs adventure and freedom. A wife and child would hinder him.”

You knew that was how it was for Han who Kade is based off. So Kuruk was right as it was what happened in real life but you have to believe that Kade would be different. 

“But Why would Kade need another big score when he has scored a title as a prince? He basically has a whole planet at his disposal. He has risen from a street rat to a prince. It would be illogical for him to give that up to be struggling the rest of his life,” You defended the comic’s end.

“Kade is not necessarily a logical man. If he were he would not have the adventures he had,” Kuruk had to disagree with you.

“Even so, men change when they get older. They get new priorities which make them make different decisions than they used to do.”

“Priorities do change but not a man’s core. At his core Kade is a rolling stone and even love will not change that.”

You knew Kuruk speaks of Kade but you could not help thinking there was another meaning to his statement. Victim had said Kylo would not truly change. Was Kuruk trying to elude to that as well? Was he saying that even if Kylo loves you he will ultimately choose himself and his own dark path over you and your children?

“I guess we will have to agree to disagree.” You closed your trunk.

“I guess we will,” Kuruk nodded and grabbed your trunk to carry out to the base.

You go to lay down on the bed as you do not have the energy to unpack the rest of your trunk. You put the transmitter next to you and wait for Ben to call.

He does not.


	74. Loyal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! Please enjoy this chapter!

**Chapter 74**

Dr. Ryza has no problem getting between your legs to check in the status of your uterus. You lay silent not registering Dr. Ryza’s touch and movements. 

Why did Ben not call last night? Why? He said he would. He has called every night since you had to leave. You stayed up most of the night waiting for him to call till you could not stay awake any longer. He still did not call. You did not see any sign that you had a miss call either. Why did he not call?

“Everything is looking and feeling good. You are not dilated at all and from the earlier ultrasound it looks and sounds like all is in order with the twins,” Dr. Ryza comes out from between your legs and pulls off the gloves she wears.

“Great,” you are pleased with the news but your mind is still on Ben.

“You still need to do what you have been and do your best not to dwell on the threat of miscarriage as the stress is not helpful,” Dr. Ryza’s advice is easier said than done.

How can you not stress? Yes, everything is alright with the twins for now but one mistake and you endanger them again. And Ben is supposed to be with you through all of this but he is somewhere across the galaxy not calling you. Who knows what is going on with him? Did he just forget to call because he is working so diligently to finish these negotiations so he can get back to you? Has he been hurt and that is why he is not calling? Has he chosen not to call because he has changed his mind about you? Did he realize that marriage to you is not all that he wanted especially with you endangering your children? Is sleeping better without you these days? Has he found someone new to fill your spot in his bed? He is prone to loneliness as you are nowadays.

“Are you alright, Lady Ren?” Dr. Ryza has noticed you lack of response.

“Um...yes...I’m fine,” you doubt Dr. Ryza wants to talk about your concerns over Commander Ren.

Dr. Ryza’s hand goes to her hip and her eyebrow goes up. 

“You shouldn’t lie to me, Lady Ren. If something is wrong I should know about it as I am your doctor and concerned for your health,” Dr. Ryza does not move her eyes from yours. You press your lips together. 

“I’m just...I’m just a bit anxious right now.”

“About the pregnancy? That’s totally understandable. But everything is looking good now. You have a few more weeks till you are in your second trimester and after that the likelihood of you miscarrying goes way down. You’ll just have to be extra careful for a bit longer,” she tries to encourage you about the future.

“Yes. I’ll do my best to be extra careful,” you nod though that’s not the main reason for your anxiousness. 

“Is there something else?” Dr. Ryza detects. You swallow. Are you allowed to confide in your doctor about your fears and worries involving your romantic relationship? 

“Um...no...I’m fine,” you shake your head getting up from the examination table. Dr. Ryza grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you back down.

“Lady Ren, if there is anything you need to talk about you can do so with me. We have doctor-patient confidentiality and I want you to be healthy in all areas of your life,” Dr. Ryza looks you straight in the eyes. 

“I’m having anxiety because of the pregnancy and because...I am not used to this separation from Ky-Commander Ren. It is hard sleeping without him and only communicating once a day via a transmitter. And last night he didn’t even call me which has made me start overthinking and stress out over why he hasn’t called. Did he just forget? Did something happen to him? Has he met someone else? I can’t stop thinking about the possibilities.” The words leave your mouth like vomit.

“Oh,” Dr. Ryza leans back at the sudden personal information bomb. She brings her bent index finger to her lips.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t care about my overthinking,” you believe her uncomfortable.

“No. No. I do as it is a stressor and not good for your health,” she puts her hand in your leg reassuringly. 

“But what can you prescribe for it?” You laugh.

“You can talk to me. I am not a psychologist but I can help with this. I was married for a while after all,” Dr. Ryza gives a glimpse into her past. You are not sure why but learning that Dr. Ryza was married is strange. You never really thought about anyone in the First Order being married besides you and Ben. Then again you are pretty sure that First Order officers do have relationships and families. They just might not be on base.

“You were married?”

“Yes. My husband died a few years ago.” Her eyes grow misty but she blinks it away. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is. But I am able to understand your predicament some better because of it,” she keeps a friendly smile.

“So, what should I do, Dr. Ryza?”

“Have you tried calling him?” She gives an easy answer.

“I can’t do that. He might be in a meeting,” you shake your head.

“If he is in a meeting he won’t answer. Then he can see you called and he will be more likely call back,” the physician tries to get rid of your reason not to call.

“What do I say if he answers?” Your mind blanks on how to interact with your husband.

“Just talk to him. Ask why he didn’t call. That is the fastest and easiest way to get an answer and relieve yourself of this anxiety,” Dr. Ryza advises.

“Ok…” you still have your nerves.

“It’ll be fine, Lady Ren,” she pats your leg again then pauses seeing no relief on your face, “Is there something else scaring you, Lady Ren?”

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone on base knows of your husband's quickness to…anger. Does he ever take out his frustrations or anger on you physically?” She feels the need to ask. She has not forgotten the bruises and other marks you had from previous visits that you told her were from your sexual escapades. Were some also from abuse?

“No. He will _never_ harm me,” you state clearly as you know Ben will not. He promised and if he breaks it, it will cost him his life. 

Dr. Ryza likes this information. It gives her peace of mind to know the woman before her is not being abused.

“Good. Then you should not fear calling Commander Ren.” She reasons.

“I guess you’re right. I just don’t want to upset him. It’s already so hard nixing sex then being this far apart. I don’t want to put anything more between us,” you figure out your bigger problem.

“I understand. But I’m my experience, not communicating clearly and honestly only puts more distance between couples,” The slightly older woman shares her experience.

You nod accepting these words. You thank Dr. Ryza for her time and advice before you finally leave. You return to your room and grab your transmitter. You sit on the bed and take a deep breath. You type in the code you were given. You wait and hope he answers.

“Lady Ren,” you see that he is all Kylo Ren when he answers. 

“Master,” you call him as you are not sure if he is alone. You have to assume he is not as he wears his helm and he has addressed you so formally. 

“Why have you called? Is there a problem?” He questions shortly. You bite your tongue not sure what to say. You wonder who he is with. You do not want to say something that would embarrass him in front of others.

“I did not realize you were occupied. Please, call me when you are free to speak privately,” you try to free him and yourself of this call.

“Feel free to talk to her in front of me if you want, Kylo,” a strange voice comes from the other end. You freeze. The voice is not one you have heard before and it is not masculine in slightest. The owner also calls Kylo so informally. You do not hide the shock in your eyes. He is with a woman who feels comfortable enough with him to not call him by his title. What the hell?

“I will call you later,” Kylo tells you and ends the call. Your chest bubbles with emotions you struggle to name. 

You have been gone from him a few days and he has already found a new woman to kill his loneliness with? What the hell?

No. No. Ben is not that sort of man. He would not cheat on you. He loves you. He has told you and shown you that. He loves you and will be faithful to you. He vowed to do so. He will keep his promise.

This woman must be someone who does not know her place. Or perhaps he is doing as he did with Queen Moxa. He must be pretending with this woman. He is lulling her into feeling comfortable so she will give him what he wants.

Has he done that with you? Has he made you believe he loves you so you will let him have his children and to keep you in his bed? That’s what Vicrul said. “...he has gone so far to keep your pussy in place that he married you.” 

No! Vicrul is an asshole who does not know the true Ben. You know the true Ben. He loves you. He loves you, is loyal to you, and you should not doubt it. He has never given you any reason to think differently. Stop letting these dark thoughts impute your mind. You trust and love Ben as he does you. There is a logical explanation to all of this. Ben will explain everything. You just have to be patient.

“I should meditate,” you tell yourself. Perhaps that will help your mind. You lie down on the bed to be comfortable and you focus on connecting to the force.

* * *

Incessant knocking brings you out of your meditation. You get off the bed and go to your door. Opening you see ST-1999.

“Yes?”

“Supreme Leader Snoke requests your presence,” ST-1999 delivers the message you can sense he dreaded to deliver. More than likely he has been scared by being in the Supreme Leader’s presence.

“I will go to him then. Thank you,” you wave him away. You close the door and run to the mirror you check yourself in the mirror to make sure you do not look a mess before Snoke. You smooth your black dress several times before you leave the room.

You are not sure why Snoke wants to see you but you dread the meeting no matter the reason. The closer you come toward Snoke’s receiving room, the colder everything seems to get. It might be all in your head but your body does shiver. 

The door opens when you arrive. You enter and see Supreme Leader Snoke seated far above you as he likes. You begin to kneel.

“Do not strain yourself, Sly,” Snoke stops you. You straighten up and look to your leader. His milky eyes are focused on you as well.

“You sent for me, Supreme Leader?”

“Yes, I wanted to see how you are doing,” he rises from his seat.

“I am well, Supreme Leader, thank you for your concern,” you put on a smile.

“It is only right for me to be concerned over the wife and apprentice of my treasured apprentice. If anything happens to you or your children, my poor apprentice will be very affected,” he speaks as he comes down the stairs toward you. 

“I would hate to negatively affect my master, sir,” you knees tremble as the colossal man comes closer to you. 

“Yes. I’m sure it would. Yet-” the word leaving his crooked mouth causes the hair on the back of your neck to stand upward.

Yet what?

Snoke eyes pierce yours.

“I know you have been conspiring with a resistance pilot against the First Order,” he finishes.

“What?” 

“Have you not been in contact with the Resistance pilot Poe Dameron?” Snoke brings up the man you saw yesterday. How could he know? 

Kuruk. He must have told Snoke. But he said he would not tell Kylo...but that did not mean he would not tell Snoke. 

“I am not sure what you have been told, Supreme Leader, but I am not conspiring against the First Order,” you shake your head.

“You did not answer my question,” Snoke purses his wrinkled lips. 

“I happened to run into a Resistance pilot but I did not conspire with him. We talked for a moment of personal matters then separated,” You divulge. 

“What sort of personal matters would you have with a Resistance pilot?” He crosses his arms. You press your lips together. That is private but you know Snoke will not care about that. 

“When I had that issue with my Master and left, the pilot transported me places. I had not known he was Resistance until later. I did not learn anything from him when we traveled together and he learned nothing from me. I saw him by pure chance on Ansion. He mistook me for having left the First Order and wanted to recruit me for the Resistance. I rejected him of course as I am loyal to the First Order. We went our separate ways and that is the all of it,” you need to Snoke to believe you. There is no telling what the Supreme Leader will do if he thinks you a traitor. 

“You should have brought him back to base. We could have interrogated him,” Snoke points out another mistake you have made.

“You are right, sir. I’m afraid my mind was more concerned with returning to base to be in a stable environment for my pregnant self than bringing in the Resistance pilot. I am sorry, sir. But since Kuruk knew the pilot was Resistance, he should have reminded me or taken the pilot into custody himself…” You throw the knight under the bus as he is the one who ratted you and Poe out. 

“Hmmm, I suppose you are right, Sly,” Snoke unfolds his arms, “I will speak to Kuruk of this matter.”

You feel some pressure coming off you. You are glad it is shifting to the knights now. They really need to be held in check, in your opinion. 

“I will trust for now that you are as loyal as you said,” Snoke relieves even more pressure and begins ascending the steps again with his back to you. 

“Thank you, Supreme Leader,” You bow your head to his back. He takes his seat and leans against his right hand. 

“However, if I learned of even the slightest betrayal of the First Order from you, I will not be as understanding as I have been today. Do you understand?” His index finger scratches at the skin near the hole in his cheek. 

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“Good. I see great potential in you, Sly, and I can sense great power in your womb from you children’s force signature. To execute you and lose the children would be unfortunate. I would hate to have to do that to Kylo but I will not tolerate disloyalty,” Snoke makes it known his consequences for your actions. 

“You will have no disloyalty from me, Supreme Leader. I am your obedient servant,” You bow your head once more to him. 

“As you should be. Go now. Rest,” he dismisses you. You leave the room. As you are alone in the elevator you begin to breathe deeply. You cannot believe he learned of Poe and that any slip up will end with you being killed. You must make sure that nothing you do can be misconstrued as treason. You will not lose your life and that of your children. You must make sure you return to being the ideal First Order member.

It was much easier to be a member of the First Order when you had not experienced freedom and when you were just a trooper. You cannot be a trooper again. You are Lady Ren, wife and apprentice to Commander Kylo Ren. With Kylo away it is hard to be those roles. You are stuck training on your own and have to limit what you can do because of your pregnancy. Things were so much easier before you got pregnant and before you began your relationship with Kylo. But life was also bleak and bland. Now life is brilliant and bold. You do not want your old life at all. You love Ben and your children. You just do not want to live in fear of Snoke or have any more reason for him to keep an eye on you.

“Excuse me,” a young cadet steps out of your way. You nod to the young woman then pause after you pass her and her partner. You watch them walk away. An idea comes to your mind. 

You change your course. Quickly you find Captain Phasma as she is about to go watch some potential troopers go into a simulated battlefield to test their abilities. 

“Captain Phasma!” You call out to her making her stop. She turns to face you.

“Lady Ren?” She is confused by your presence here.

“Captain Phasma, I have a request to ask if you,” you come to her instead of her coming to you.

“What is it, Lady Ren?”

“Well, I have been thinking that you must be very busy with so many cadets that perhaps as a former trooper myself, I could help train a small corps of cadets. I was one of the top troopers in the program and often helped with training demonstrations before so I thought perhaps you would allow me to take on such a role again with these young cadets,” you explain your idea. 

Captain Phasma remains quiet as she considers your idea. You know that you did not turn out troopers should as you broke your vow of chastity, smuggled in contraband often, and left the stormtrooper program to become a force wielding apprentice and wife to a commander. Still, you were on of the best troopers Captain Phasma had.

“Does Commander Ren approve of this plan of yours?” She brings up your husband.

“I can ask him. If he approves, will you as well?” You want to make sure she is on board.

“I will follow whatever Commander Ren directs,” Captain Phasma nods. You grin.

“Great! I will speak with you once I know then, Captain Phasma,” you end the conversation freeing her to continue to her destination and sending you back to your quarters. 

You hope Ben calls soon so you can talk to him about this new opportunity to prove yourself a loyal member of the First Order and give yourself something to do while Ben is gone. 

You also know you should tell him about Poe before Kuruk or Snoke does. You have to explain it is all innocent as it was. You rejected Poe’s offer and made it clear you are Ben’s. Just as you hope Ben has made it clear to this other woman with him that he is yours. He better tell you who this other woman is. 


	75. The Call Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos. I cannot believe it has been seven months since the start of this story. Thank you all so much for sticking with me this long. The story is not going to be over anytime soon but thank you for all of your patience. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 75

Finally, alone in his room, Ben takes off his helmet and lays it on the desk. He takes the transmitter from his pocket. He sits on the bed he has not slept in for days. He fixes his hair before dialing the number he knows will connect him to you. He does not want to look disarray in anyway. He wants to look for you. He waits patiently.

“Ben,” you answer the call and smile when you see it is ben and not the Kylo mask. He smiles at you reaction and calls you by your name.

“Why did you call earlier? Is something wrong?” He brings up the earlier call.

“Well, you didn’t call last night. I was worried about you so I called,” You explain.

“Oh. I worked very late last night and I didn’t want to wake you so I didn’t call,” He gives his excuse.

“I see. Next time, just call. I don’t mind being woken up if it means I get to talk to you,” You voice your preference.

“I don’t want to bother you.” He does consider that calling in the night would be bothersome.

“It isn’t a bother, Ben. I want to talk to you. I want to be with you even if it has to be over a transmitter like this. Please, don’t avoid me because you think it will bother me,” You want to your desire to be clear.

Ben pauses. He shares this desire. He knows the struggle of trying to maintain a relationship from a long distance. He had to do so with his mother and father. They seemed pleased enough when he would call them but they always had to cut calls short because they were busy. His mother was constantly at Senate meetings and his father was always on a run. Though they claimed to want to talk to him, he never felt that they wanted these talks to be more than a few minutes. Even before he was sent away to be with his uncle, he remembers how short his correspondence would be with his traveling parents. He even witnessed how quickly ended the transmissions between his parents were. He could feel the disappointment his mother had when Han would end his calls with a “Talk to ya later, sweetheart.” He would feel the loneliness of his father when Senator Organa would sign off with “I have to go, Han. I will speak with you soon.” Disappointed, lonely, and sad are not what he wants to feel. He does not want you to feel that. His children should not have to suffer that either. This is part of why he wants to be together every day with you. He wants his children to also not be parted from him as he was from his parents. His children will not have a distant, overworked father. They will know him and not feel abandoned as he did. He will not make his wife feel this either.

“Alright then. I’ll call everyday even if you are probably sleeping,” He agrees. You smile pleased with the agreement.

“Good. I was so worried when you didn’t. I thought-it doesn’t matter what I thought. I’m just glad you are alight and we can talk now,” You have pushed away your anxious thoughts.

“I’m glad too. Did you see Dr. Ryza today?”

“Yes. She thinks all is well. I still have to be extra careful until I reach the second trimester. She thinks once I get there I won’t be as high risk,” You relay this morning’s appointment.

“How many more weeks is that?”

“Um, about three or four more weeks,” You do your best figure out the timeline.

“Ah.”

“You will be back by then, right?” You hope that his answer will be ‘right’.

“I…don’t know. We have several more planets to visit and negotiate with before we can start back to base. There is no real telling when I will be back,” He does not give the answer you want.

“Ah.” Your disappointment is not lost on Ben.

“I am doing my best to get this done as quickly as possible,” he means to reassure you that all that can be done is being done.

“I know. I know. I don’t mean to make you feel anymore pressured. I just…I miss you.”

“I do too.”

You cannot help smiling hearing him share the same feeling you do.

“So, please, tell me, Ben, what have you been doing? Tell me everything.”

“It would bore you,” He groans.

“I don’t care. Tell me. I want to know what is going on with you.” You insist. Ben sighs but gives into you. You listen intently as he discusses his negotiations with various planets and their leaders. But one leader he has been dealing with sticks out more than the others to you.

“The king of Almania agreed to our terms after we agreed to allow one his daughters come with us with intent to train her to be an officer in the First Order. Now Princess Albassa is traveling with us. She is an overtly friendly person. You might have enjoyed her company,” Ben brings up the woman you assume was on the other end of the call earlier. You doubt you would like a woman who addresses your husband so informally.

“Oh, was this princess the one who was on the call earlier?” You bring up the incident.

“Yes.”

“So, you two must have become close very quickly. She did casually call you Kylo after all,” You cannot help being a bit petty. Ben rolls his eyes.

“The princess believes her royal rank entitles her to call people by whatever she wants. But it will be made clear that in the First Order ‘Princess’ does not surpass ‘Commander’,” Ben makes that ranking clear.

And what of ‘Lady’? You think of your own title. You are sure in a royal court ‘lady’ is lower than ‘princess’. But how is it in the First Order?

“I see. Well, I look forward to meeting her when you return,” You try to put on your civil self.

“She has made the same remark. I think you two will get along well,” He assumes.

“That would be nice.” It would be, but something in your gut tells you that you will not.

“But tell me about your days. How was your trip with the knights?” Ben shifts the focus to you.

“Well…” You know now is the time you should bring up Poe and Snoke. You do not want to upset Ben, but Dr. Ryza did say to be honest with him.

“The knights were cold and distant which was fine with me. That allowed me to rest peacefully. But we did stop on Ansion and I got off. I happened to run into an old associate there,” You try to find a positive way to phrase.

“An old associate? Who?” Ben cocks an eyebrow.

“The Resistance pilot…”

Ben scowls.

“You did?”

“Yes. By the end of our conversation it was clear that we will never see each other again. But I wanted to tell you because I don’t want to have secrets from you. Please, don’t be upset with me,” You watch his lips press together but he releases them.

“How do you know you two won’t see each other again?”

“Because I told him I wouldn’t run away with him and he left,” Your answer makes a little curve come to the corner of Ben’s mouth.

How could Ben not be pleased to know his wife chose not to run away with another man?

“Well, thank you for telling me.”

“Of course. But Kuruk did see us and told Supreme Leader Snoke about it,” You have to bring up the Supreme Leader. Ben frowns.

“How do you know this?”

“Supreme Leader summoned me. He made it clear that if I display anything that could be seen as disloyalty to the First Order again that,” Your hand goes to the bump forming on your abdomen beneath your dress, “he will not be merciful.”

Ben’s body shakes and his jaw clenches. How dare Snoke threaten his wife? But what could he do? Snoke is his master and he is across the galaxy. Ben would not be able to reach you if anything happened. Dammit! He needs to get back to Starkiller Base and you. He must protect you.

You sense his anger. But you know it is not toward you.

"But I have a plan to show Supreme Leader Snoke that I am loyal. I want to start help training the cadets,” You tell him of your plan.

“You can’t do that. You are in no physical condition to be sparring with cadets!” Ben scolds you.

“I wouldn’t spar with them. I know better than that. I’d focus on weaponry and having them spar but not with me. I could train without being too physical,” You try to elaborate better.

“I don’t know…” Ben tries to consider the new idea.

“I would be very careful and then Supreme Leader Snoke will know I am nothing but loyal to the First Order. There’d be no way he could think differently,” You try to give the positive of it.

Ben still dislikes the idea of you with sniveling cadets who are untrained in combat and weapons. What if they stumbled and hit you or misfired at you?

“Please, Ben, it will help with Snoke and it will give me something to do. I’m tired of just laying around worrying about the development of the twins and when you will be coming back to me. Grant me your permission,” You need his approval. You do not want do anything without it being okay with him. You do not want any problems with Ben especially with a transmitter being your only way to communicate.

“And what about your own training?” Ben brings up your force training.

“How can I train without my master? I can’t do anything physical and there is only so much meditation I can do,” You sigh.

Ben presses his lips together again and you watch his eyebrows dip together. He has to consider the pros and cons of giving you permission.

“Fine. But be careful,” he begrudgingly gives into you.

“Thank you.”

“You will have to give me a daily report on their progress,” He returns to business mode.

“Yes, Commander,” You salute him rather mockingly. You giggle then yawn unexpectantly. You cover your mouth embarrassed.

“You should go to sleep,” Ben takes your yawn as a cue that he should end the call. He often knew from his transmissions with his father that a yawn means the other person wants to stop talking and go to sleep.

“No. I’m fine. I want to talk to you,” You shake your head. Ben has heard his father say this before but Han always ended up falling asleep.

“No. Go to sleep,” Ben insists.

“No. I’m really fine, Ben. I don’t want to go to sleep. It takes me forever to fall asleep these days. You know, I have to pretend that you are with me in order to fall asleep. Or I wait till I pass out from exhaustion,” You alert him to your newer sleeping habits.

“You shouldn’t let yourself get to the point of exhaustion. That could be bad for your health and the children,” He starts to scold you. You love that he is concerned about you.

“Then you need to hurry back to me so I can sleep, _Master_ ,” You playfully say his title and apply some pressure on him.

“Maybe then I’ll get some sleep then too,” He mumbles.

“Are you not sleeping well, Ben?”

“No. I haven’t slept since you left,” Ben confesses.

“Oh, Ben, _you need_ to sleep,” it is your turn to be the concerned and scolding partner.

“I’ll be fine. The force will sustain me.”

“No. You need to sleep.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Even my imagination is not enough to come up with the feeling of your body next to mine. I can’t sleep without you anymore,” He admits. He has the problem you do but you always find away to end up asleep. Your pregnancy helps with that.

“Maybe I could stay on the transmitter with you until you fall asleep. We can’t touch but maybe seeing my face and hearing my voice can help.”

“Maybe.” He is willing to try this tactic.

“Get undressed and into bed. It will help,” You point out the actions he should take. Ben puts the transmitter on the bed and begins to remove his clothing. You watch him remove his gloves, then boots, belt, shirt and finally pants. Though his hologram his small, you can tell nothing about your man is small. Your mouth waters. It wants to kiss and taste his flesh but you cannot. He walks to the closet you two shared and pulls out one of your older dresses. He starts back toward the bed. You swallow your extra saliva as he picks up the transmitter and gets into the bed. He puts the transmitter next to him making only his face available to him as it was before he undressed.

“You should get ready for bed as well,” Ben points out.

“You’re right,” You put the transmitter down. You know the he will be able to see you just as you saw him. You make sure your body is in view as you begin to undress. You take off your shoes then belt. Slowly, you begin bringing up your dress. You want him to look at your body. You want him to remember what is waiting for him here on Starkiller Base.

Ben feels himself harden beneath his sheets as he gazes at your thighs then garden his snake favor to slither into. He takes a hold of him self when your breasts come into view. He brings the dress from the closet below the sheets as well. His eyes run over your figure as you stand there. His eyes do go to your abdomen. It has grown more even over the past few days. That means his children are growing in you. How he wishes he were in you too.

You hear his breathing becoming uneven. You realize he is masturbating to the sight of you. You smirk.

“Are you touching yourself, Master?” You ask. His already flushed face becomes more so at the question. But his eyes do not leave your body. His parted lips give out his confession.

“I am.”

“You’re getting off watching me change? How naughty,” You cover your breasts pretending to be modest.

“Don’t cover them,” he hisses. You start to lower your hands but stop. You want to have fun with him and yourself. You begin to rub your breasts and let your nipples peak out from between your fingers. You enjoy the stimulation you give yourself. You want to move your hand lower to your womanhood but you are nervous. You know you cannot have sex yet but does masturbation count? You know you should not even risk it.

Ben stares at your nips as they poke through your fingers. He wishes his fingers were yours. He wanted his hands on you, his mouth on you. He wants to suck your breasts till they are raw then mark them with his teeth. He wants to cover your torso with kisses. He wants to feel your swollen abdomen where his children grow. The he wants to bury his face between your thighs and taste that which is sweeter than fruit in any galaxy. He wants to make you cry out his name when he makes you cum. It is then that he wants to thrust inside you till you come again and again with him.

“Show me your pussy,” He huffs struggling to breathe. You come to the bed’s edge and lift up your leg so your foot rest on the bed. You angle yourself so he can clearly see what he has requested. You have grown wet from touching your breasts and staring at his lusty expressions. You know he wants to fuck you. You want him to as well but distance and circumstances prevent. Still, you like that even just the sight of you is making him this way.

Seeing that which has been hidden from him this week, Ben cannot last much longer. He grasps the sheets of the bed as he curses and cums into your old dress. You watch his face as he does. You have missed that face. You let go of your breasts and lower you leg again. You grab the transmitter and slip beneath the sheets into you bed with it. You smile watching him catch his breath.

“I hope that helped some,” You snicker.

“It might have,” He does not let his eyes go to you yet. He is slightly embarrassed that you just watched him masturbate. Yet he is not ashamed. You are his wife and he has done things far more embarrassing than that before you.

“When you come here, you better make love to me and make up for the days we are having to miss,” you charge him.

“As long as Dr. Ryza approves,” He brings up the doctor again.

“Of course. I’m not going to risk Anakin and-” You stop before you say the name you want for your girl, if the other baby be a girl. You want to share that name with Ben in person not on transmission. “the other one for the sake of cumming.”

“What a responsible mother you are,” He kids.

“I am trying my best. As I know you will, Daddy,” You chuckle calling him by the term you have heard children you have passed on different planets all their fathers.

“Daddy?” Ben’s eyebrows go up as do the corners of his mouth. He has never been referred to by that term but he likes it, especially coming from your lips.

“Do you not want the children to call you that?”

“No. I like…daddy. And I really like it when you say it,” His tongue swipes over his lower lip briefly.

“You like me calling you ‘Daddy’?” You do not know why but you start to blush. Your reaction makes him grin.

“Yes.”

“Okay then… _Daddy_.”

“And what do you want the children to call you?” He turns the question back to you.

“I don’t know…” You never had a mother so no version of that title comes to your mind. “What did you call your mother?”

Ben had not wanted to bring up his parents but he knows you did not intend it as an attempt to sway him back toward his parents.

“When I was a youngling, I called her ‘Mama’ but as I called older I called her ‘Mom’ and ‘Mother’,” he thinks on his transition. You listen to the way he says each name. ‘Mama’ he says softly and sweet. ‘Mom’ comes out relaxed. ‘Mother’ sounds completely distant and formal.

“I like ‘Mama’,” You decide. You smile at the thought of your little ones calling you ‘Mama’. You do not mind it when Ben says it either. Daddy and Mama. You like it but you think Ben likes ‘Daddy’ in a way more than just paternal. You are sure to log that in your mind.

As you two lay and talk you notice his eyes growing heavier and yours too. Even though you two are not actually together, you are and it is relaxing and calming. You do not know you falls first but in the end you are both lost to sleep even though the transmitter stays on call.


	76. Another Day and Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 76

Ben had turned off the transmitter when he woke in the morning. You woke and dressed excited for the new day. It had been so good spending the night talking with Ben. You practically glided down the halls of Starkiller Base in search of Captain Phasma. You kept you smile hidden from all as it is unprofessional for someone of your rank to be all smiles before all. When you found Captain Phasma, you keep your face neutral.

“Captain Phasma,” You do your best to keep your voice monotone.

“Lady Ren, Commander Ren informed me of the approval for you train a group of troopers,” Captain Phasma surprises you with the information involving your husband contacting her.

“Oh, he has?”

“Yes. You will be training the TZ platoon,” the chrome covered captain hands you a data pad. “They will be waiting for you in the sparring room.”

“Great. Thank you, captain,” You nod to her. She nods back and leaves to go about her other duties. You press the ‘home’ button on the data pad giving you access to some already open information about the TZ platoon. Your lips pursed seeing the number of cadets you are to lead is the smallest that can be in a platoon. You see Kylo does not want you to overdo yourself and Captain Phasma does not trust you with a large number of troopers incase you screw up.

Still You look through the pictures of your sixteen troopers. They are all very young but they are at least in the teen years. You are glad they are not younglings. It is hard disciplining younglings because you know how the First Order wants them to be disciplined. There are no kind words, positive reinforcement, or chances to make mistakes with no punishment. You remember the harsh scolding, negative reinforcements, and physical repercussions when even the slightest error occurred. You know you could do it but you do not want to do it. You do not want to teach your children that way either. That will have to be one of the things you will have to discuss more with Ben. Maybe you two can talk about it tonight when he calls.

You enter the sparring room where you see the sixteen cadets standing at attention in their black mesh clothing. Of the sixteen, ten are male. You are not surprised as the stormtrooper program is predominately male. Looking over the cadets, their youthful faces all hold a stony expression while their eyes are still anxious but innocent as they have yet to actually be on the battlefield. You had that same look when you were in your early teens but you lost it when you were even younger than these cadets. That is what happens when you have your first kill. These cadets are still green and their hands are clean. Yours are not and have not been for some time… You hope your children will not have to live with the burden of having taken the lives others, but you know that this may not be possible especially if they grow up in this world.

You realize you have been staring them down for longer than you intended. You must speak. You must quickly establish your tone and dominance. You cannot let them think that you are weak but you do not want to make them hate you the way that you hated most of your leaders growing up. You want to find a balance.

“I am Lady Sly Ren and you all will address me as Lady Ren or Ma’am,” you speak clearly and do not let there be any shred of nervousness in your voice. “I am going to make sure this platoon is the best in the First Order. Do not fail me.”

“Yes, Lady Ren,” They salute you.

“I am going to go upstairs to the overlooking balcony and then I want you all to start brawling until only one has not submitted or has not been knocked unconscious,” You turn to ascend the stairs. Reaching the balcony, you look down to the cadets who have formed a circle. They all get into their fighting stances. They look to you to await their signal to begin.

“Begin!” You call out the word that gives them permission. You watch as the former younglings fly at each other with fists and legs going everywhere. You watch the cadets fall and either get up or stay down. Most stay down. Finally, there are two left fighting. One is brawny boy with a shaved head and warm tanned skin. He is about a half a foot taller than the chestnut girl with a black curls that have been short enough to be stuffed into a trooper helmet. Unlike the boy you see on your data-pad is called TZ-1818, this girl has a determined look in her umber eyes. Her plush lips spread showing off her clenched white teeth as she breaks out of TZ-1818’s sleeper hold. You do not look away from her as she slops between his legs and crawls up his back. She locks her arms around his neck until he falls to his knees then to the ground incapacitated. She lets him go only for him to fall on his face. The huffing girl stands victorious over the others in her platoon.

You stand watching as the cadets come back to their senses and stand once more. You wonder if the girl will be able be the champion again?

“Do it again,” You call to the cadets. They go at it once more. You watch them fight with as much vigor as the first time. In the end it is the girl once more.

“Again!” You order to the panting group. You see them trying not to look at you bewildered. Their moves are not as refined as before and you see more flaws in their techniques but not this girl’s. She is the last one standing again.

“Again!” You order. You make them over and over and over again till you see that they can barely stand. You allow them to rest for half an hour while you get some lunch. You return and demand them to return to fighting. You are impressed at how despite your energy plummeting, the first winner keeps her streak of victories. You do not intend to be vain but she reminds you of yourself and Jyn as you two were always fighting for the top spot though you loved her instead of hating her for beating you sometimes.

All the cadets lie on the ground barely breathing. The girl struggles to stand but she stays erect. She pants and wobbles. You sense the hope among the group that you will finally relent and free them of this miserable trial.

“TZ-1719,” You call to the victor as you begin walking down the steps. She looks to you and salutes with her chest heaving. You reach her and look her over again. She is older than the others which may be why she is better skilled.

“You will be the platoon leader under me,” You inform her of her new position in her group.

“Yes, ma’am,” She nods and puts down her hand. You look down at the other fallen cadets as does TZ-1719. You wait for them to at least open their eyes and show signs of cognition.

“When you are fighting on the battlefield, your body is no longer yours but that of the First Order. You cannot grow tired. Until you are dead or the battle is over, you have to keep getting up and fighting,” You lecture your small group with the words that your own trainers taught you. 

“You are all dismissed. Tend to yourselves. I will see you all at eight hundred hours tomorrow morning,” You know they have no more energy in them. You leave the sparring room to head back to your own room. You are hungry and know you will have food brought to you there by a droid.

Once you have eaten, you shower then go back to your bed to lie down for meditation and wait for Ben to call. When your cleared mind is interrupting by the ringing transmitter, you beam. You answer eagerly. He sits in his desk chair giving you the impression that he must have the transmitter sitting on his desk. He says your name softly.

“Good evening, Ben.”

“You are well?”

“Yes. And you?”

“Of course. How did you first day of training go?”

“Very well. I like my little platoon. Thank you for picking them,” You are sure to show appreciation as he did pick them for you.

“Good. Now give me a report on their activities,” Ben takes on his commander role.

“Yes, sir,” You nod and proceed to relay the events of the day. You are sure to praise TZ-1719 for her lack of failure. He nods as he listens.

“When I return, I will have you show me your platoon. I will see then if you have not been wasting time,” Ben plans ahead. You are a little irked by his wording as if you want to waste time.

“I assure you, I have not and will not be wasting my time with them. They will be one of the best platoon in the First Order,” You claim.

“We’ll see.”

You are not sure if he is trying to tease you or if he really doubts your leadership.

“We will. Now, tell me of your day,” You want to hear of him.

“It was fine. We brought another planet into the First Order. Princess Albassa was very instrumental in helping persuade the princes of the planet to join us,” Ben brings up the other woman. You know you should not be jealous or even irritated by the woman. Ben is yours and she is just his associate. However, you are jealous that she is with him while you are not and you are irritated that he is praising a woman that is not you.

“Oh? How is that?”

“Princess Albassa can be very convincing when she needs to be, especially to get what she wants,” He has the faintest of smirks on his lips. Why is smirking? Has she been convincing to Ben? What did she convince him to do?

Stop. You need to stop. Ben would not be manipulated by some princess no matter her method of how to convince people to do things. Besides, she probably has no interest in Ben and she probably is not even someone Ben would find attractive. You tell yourself these things to help calm you down.

“Princess Albassa…what does she look like? You said she is from Almania. Is she like the Almanians I’ve heard of with four tentacles, sharp teeth and six eyes?” You describe hoping he says ‘yes’.

“I think you are getting Almanians confused with Almacians,” Ben corrects you.

“Oh.”

“Princess Albassa is human like us. She is _very_ beautiful,” He just had to inflect on ‘very’ and avoid actually describing her so you know nothing of this woman’s appearance except that she is ‘ _very_ beautiful’.

“I see. Well, how is General Hux?” You switch to the person you know Ben does not like.

“Hux? He’s a whining prick as always,” Ben rolls his eyes thinking of the general, “If it hadn’t been for Princess Albassa intervening, Hux would have fucked up our deal with the princes today. He does nto know when to shut up.”

“You need to help guide him then, Ben. He is your subordinate and one of the leaders in the First Order. You need to see that he succeeds so the First Order does too,” You do not care that much about Hux or their relationship but you do feel bad for Hux in a weird way.

“You want me to help Hux?” Ben crosses his arms.

“It is helping the First Order, Ben,” you reframe it for him. His lips press together almost disapprovingly.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think it would be helpful,” You are not going to push Ben.

“I’ll think about it.”

You like that he will consider your advice.

“I have something else I want you to think about,” You recall the other topic you wanted to talk to Ben about earlier.

“What is that?” His arms relax.

“I wanted to talk with you about how you think we should go about disciplining the children. I grew up with only negative reinforcement and physical punishment. I would prefer not to go that route with the children but I want your input, of course.”

Ben’s arms go down as he thinks about your request. He has to think of his own childhood. His mother was not one for physical discipline. She was one to give him a scolding when he misbehaved or take things away. But that was when she was around to watch him and not at a meeting. When Han was around, Ben got away with pretty much anything he wanted unless his father bribed him. But there was one incident that still send chills down Ben’s spine and made Ben never disobey his father again when Han would sternly call him ‘Ben’.

Han had been home and agreed to go to a fancy dinner with many foreign dignitaries with Leia and Ben. Ben was excited to have both of his parents together at this event. Typically, when his mother would drag him to these dinners, he would be by himself. He thought having his father would everything fun. It was not.

Han was forced to play dutiful husband and sit with the dull officials while Leia made Ben entertain the only other child at the dinner party. Leia had thought having her son and the Senator from Balosar become friends would be wonderful and beneficial to their dealings. However, Leia had no idea that the son of the other senator was a little shit.

Ben did his best to do as his mother taught him and be polite and try to speak about that which interested the other boy. But the boy only wanted to criticize, whine and insult everyone. Ben attempted to be diplomatic and shut down the boy with his words. But the boy did not relent. Then he insulted Han then Leia. Ben could not stand it anymore. He had to use force-correction-the force.

Ben only saw red and did not realize he was force choking the other boy till his father grabbed his arm and heard him sternly yelling ‘Ben!’. Han took Ben from the room and for the first time Han beat Ben’s ass.

Ben did not cry until his father stopped, looked him in the eyes and saw the mix of anger, fear and disappointment in his eyes.

“Ben, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” Han attempted to hug Ben but Ben ripped himself from his father’s arms. Ben said the words no parent wants to hear.

“I hate you!” Ben screamed and ran away crying. His mother came to him after and found him in his room. He can still feel her cool hand in his hair as she softly tried to talk to him.

“You must forgive him, Ben. What you had done was wrong. You cannot use the force to harm innocent people even if they are jerks. Your father was afraid. He has seen people, bad people, abuse the force like that. He doesn’t want you to be like those people. Please, forgive him,” Leia urged her son. Ben refused to speak anymore of it. But he considered his mother’s words after she left. He had decided to go and speak to his father man-to-man. But that was the night he hears his parents call him a monster behind not so closed doors.

Ben was shipped off to his Uncle Luke a few months later. Luke liked scold and lecture. He was also a fan of the silent treatment or making Ben be alone to ‘think about what he has done’ and that bullshit. Then Luke started to not even pay him attention since he had more students to attend. 

Ben did not like any of the styles of discipline he grew up with but he knew that the discipline you grew up was far worse.

“Ben?” You call his name as he has been silent for a long while. His eyes come back to you.

“I am not fan of the physical punishment,” He surprises you. Not because he is a violent person but because he sure enjoys punishing you physically.

“I know you must be thinking about how I punish you but that is different. You’re not my child,” Ben brings up your thoughts.

“I would hope you would not punish them like you punish me.”

“Of course not. But I don’t want the children to be spoiled.”

“I do not either.”

“I think we will have to figure it out together over time. We just have to be better than my parents,” Ben brings them up to you.

“What did they do?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Ben shakes his head. You wish you could reach through the transmitter and touch him to comfort him and to assure him that it would be okay for him to talk about it to you.

“Ben, we should talk about these things. I need to know what I shouldn’t do and what you are comfortable with us doing,” You try to point out the benefits. Ben sighs as he knows you are not wrong.

“Fine. But I don’t want you to start defending them. I know how much you like my father,” He sneers though you do not think it is such a bad thing for you to like and get along with Han.

“Alright. I won’t defend them especially Han,” You agree.

Ben begins to share his experiences with his parents’ and Skywalker’s discipline styles. You can tell that his parents though absent loved Ben and their rather lax styles were probably because they loved him and did not want the short time they got to spend together to be full of punishments. But Skywalker’s style is most displeasing to you as you do not think children should be ignored for doing wrong. What is worse: being physically reprimanded or being treated like you do not exist?

“Fuck, it’s late,” Ben realizes the time and that you two have been talking for hours.

“It is, isn’t it?” You finally look to a clock.

“We should stop and get to bed,” Ben suggests.

“As long as you stay on the transmitter with me till we fall asleep,” You want to go to sleep looking at his face. He nods in agreement.

You both get into your separate beds and place the transmitter next to you. You stare at his projected face and he stare at you.

“I cannot wait for you to be with me again,” You murmur.

“I know. And I have found out how long it will be now,” Ben surprises you.

“You do? How long will be? A week? Two? Three?” You hoping for one week. Ben lips go together and his chin wiggles as it does.

“Ten weeks.” The horrible time frame leaves his mouth.

“Ten weeks?” You can hardly believe. You are around ten weeks pregnant now. You will be double that when Ben comes. He is going to miss so much.

“I know it is quite a bit of time but we can do it,” He is encouraging you. You nod. He has to be right.


	77. Batuu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 77

Han walks the streets of Batuu with lips pursed to the side as he stares down at the long-distance transmitter in his hand. He cannot believe what the electronics shop worker said.

“There is nothing wrong with this transmitter,” The scrawny, pig nosed punk snorted.

“Then how come I’m not getting any calls?” Han huffed.

“Guess no one wants to call you, Grandpa,” The worker mocked making Han almost draw his blaster to shoot the bastard out of anger. Instead, Han took the transmitter and left without paying.

There is no way that the transmitter can working. If it were, he would be getting calls. You are calling him after all, right? You are still calling him…

Han stops on the street. He recalls the look of sadness and disappointment you had on your face when he left you on Bonadan after refusing to talk to Ben. He thought you would have forgiven him. It has been a month since then after all. Did you not? Are you punishing him by not contacting him? Are you going to keep him from his grandchildren because he had cold feet about talking to his son?

“She wouldn’t do that,” Han shakes his head and keeps walking. You have never given Han a reason to believe you would be that petty. Something must be wrong with his transmitter or yours. Or maybe, you came clean to Ben about the meeting and he has refused you to make contact. Han would not be surprised if that were the case. Still, would you not try to contact him?

Han stuffs his transmitter into his jacket. He turns into the cantina where Chewie should be waiting for him. Sure enough, the Wookie sits at the bar swallowing a pint of Ambrostine. Han takes a seat by his best friend. He orders a Corellian Twister. Chewie’s growl holds the query as to the success of Han’s stop at the shop.

“The punk there said it was fine. I think the brat was wrong though. Meia’s calls should have come through,” Han take his glass from the four-eyed, bald Aqualish bartender.

Chewie shrugs and offers alternatives that Han has already considered.

“I know those could be possible. I just wish I knew for sure what it was so I could just move on,” Han takes a sip. Chewie mutters before taking another gulp.

“I know it’s ironic, Chewie,” Han rolls his eyes. In Han’s experience, it was him who did not call. Leia often voiced her frustration at the lack of contact Han would make to her and Ben. He was busy though and knew Leia was busy with her intragalactic meetings. And in all honesty, he liked the idea of Leia waiting for his call… wanting him to call…wanting him. Of course, now he does not call Leia and he knows she is waiting for him to either. Having to step into Leia’s shoes now as the waiter, Han does hold some regret for his lack of communication.

Han drinks more of his Corellian Twister before he turns around and leans against the bar so he can look at the crowd in the cantina. He sees many like himself just drinking and/or talking to friends. His eyes casually scans them but they stop when they reach a couple giggling and canoodling as lovers do. As he and Leia would do alone on the Millenium Falcon when Leia would have a little too much Merenzane Gold.

Maybe he should call Leia… No. She’s busy and she probably would not answer. Why would she answer? Why would she want to talk him after all of this time?

Well, she does love him and he loves her. That should be enough reason, right? He could tell her about how he saw Ben, met their son’s wife, and tell her how they are going to be grandparents. He wonders if she would like being called ‘grandma’. He wonders how she would like their daughter-in-law. He knows she would like you. He likes you after all and Ben does as well. Leia would have to like you just for the mere reason that you love their son and are carrying their grandchildren. He should call her.

As Han starts to turn around to take another sip of his drink, his eye catches a familiar head of black curls. Han stops and focuses on the back of the head to see if the man will turn around so he can see if the face is the one he thinks it is. Sure enough, the man turns his head and as he starts toward the bar. Han smiles recognizing the young Resistance pilot he met on Naboo.

“Dameron,” Han calls to the young man. Poe looks around to see who called him. His soft brown eyes land on the older smuggler. He smiles as he approaches Han and Chewie with BB-8 at his heels.

“Han, Chewie,” He greets both and exchanges a clasping of hands with them. “What are you two doing here on Batuu?”

“Just dropping off some cargo. What about you, Dameron?”

“Just stopping for a drink,” Poe flashes that handsome smile Han remembers Kes Dameron having. Poe briefly turns to the bartender. “A syrspirit, please.”

The drink is quickly poured and given to Poe.

“Where are you headed next?” Poe inquires after taking a sip.

“Naboo,” Han answers making Poe lower the drink from his lips.

“Naboo?” The planet name is said delicately. Naboo only makes him think of one person.

Chewie gives away the purpose of their journey to the far-off planet. Poe nods as he listens but he is not completely focused. His mind keeps going back to the you. He cannot forget how he left you on Naboo and more recently on Ansion. He wonders is Han and Chewie know that you are not there anymore. Maybe if he tells them about what happened to you then they may team up with him and try to retrieve you. They did seem fond of you after all.

“You aren’t going to see Meia, are you?” Poe brings you up.

“No. She isn’t there anymore,” Han finishes his drink.

“How do _you_ know?” Poe is surprised. How did Han know?

Han should not have said that. How would Poe react to knowing you are back with the First Order?

“How do _you_ know?” Han turns the question back on Poe.

“I saw her on Ansion a few weeks ago. She was with the Knights of Ren. I know she chose to go with them to protect Jyn. Hell, she went as far to marry that monster Kylo Ren to protect Jyn,” Poe brings his glass to his lips hoping the alcohol will take away some of the emotionally based pain. Poe is taken aback that Han does not seem flabbergasted with the information that you married Kylo Ren.

“You saw her with the knights of Ren? The last I saw her she was with Kylo Ren on Bonadan,” Han gives away the last exchange.

“Well, when was that?”

“Four or so weeks ago.”

“Ah. Well, I saw her on Ansion three weeks ago,” Poe straightens the timeline.

“How did she look?” Han is sure not much could have changed from the time he last saw her to when Poe last saw her but he is not sure.

“She looked…” Poe pauses so the word ‘beautiful’ will not slip out, “fine. She looked healthy but sad.”

Han is still not sure why she was the knights of Rena and not his son.

“I offered to take her away. She herself said Kylo Ren was away from her. It was the perfect opportunity. But she…she said she would not run away. She wanted to stay to be with… _Kylo Ren_ ,” Poe stares down at his drink. He knows he does not hate and he is bitter. But he still does not fully understand why she would marry Kylo Ren and not run away when she got the chance.

“Well, that is understandable.” Han mutters mostly to himself and Chewie.

“What do you mean?” Poe looks up to silver haired pilot.

“She is carrying his children after all,” Han replies.

Poe’s hand releases the glass in it. The cup shatters as it hits the floor of the cantina. Han, Chewie and BB-8 step back but Poe stays still. He steps in the glass as he grabs Han by the jacket.

“She’s pregnant by that monster!” Poe’s eyes are red in fury. Han push the boy back.

“Didn’t she tell you on Naboo?” Han pats down his jacket.

“No. She never told me that. She never-” Poe shakes his head in disbelief. You are pregnant and by Kylo Ren. You knew this on Naboo. No wonder you were so distraught on Takodana. You must have known then too. It makes sense. Poe knows how many women think they should have their children know their fathers. Still, how could you want Kylo Ren to play any part in the life of a child? He is a murderous snake! Poe should have forced you away. You could have gotten an abortion and be free of Kylo Ren. Or if you wanted to complete the pregnancy then Poe would have stayed at your side and been a better father than Kylo Ren could ever be.

Father? Poe cannot believe where his mind has gone. Why would ever he want to play father to the child of Kylo Ren? He would do it for you because…shit. He cannot be. He cannot be in love with you.

Han puts his hand on Poe’s shoulder. The older man sees the fret in the younger one’s eyes. He can easily realize that Poe is hurt, confused, and in love. But Han cannot offer any words to comfort the boy or promote the hope of uniting him and you. You are Ben’s and Han will not play any part and taking you from his son.

But knowing now that you have been apart from Ben, Han thinks that perhaps the knights took your transmitter away. If that is the case then he will have to hold onto the hope that you are alive, well, and wanting to call but just unable.

“Han, Chewie, we have to get to her away from the First Order,” Poe still does not care that he is standing in glass.

“I’m sorry, son, but that is not something Chewie and I do. It is not something you should try either. Meia is a big girl and she knows what she is doing. If she ever wants to leave, she will do it on her own. We don’t have to get involved,” Han does not tell Poe what he wants to hear. Poe steps away from Han’s shoulder touch.

“How can you possibly just stand aside not caring about her being trapped in a forced marriage and being impregnated for some foul scheme?”

If Han learned anything from overhearing his son and daughter-in-law fucking, it was that there is no way this marriage is force and that your impregnation was apart of any scheme except for Ben wanting to cum inside.

“I know her a bit better than you. She is going to be fine just as you are.”

“Fine? She will not be fine! And I will not be fine either till she till I know she is free. You use to do rescue missions. Why not now?” Poe brings up the past.

“I told you I don’t do that anymore.” Han shakes his head.

“General Organa was right,” Poe looks at Han disgusted. Both Han and Chewie’s ears wiggle hearing ‘General Organa’ leave Poe’s lips.

“You’re a coward,” Poe spit out the insult. Han grabs Poe by his lapels.

“Listen here. I get you’re in love with that girl but she has made her choice. She didn’t choose you. Get over it. Stop trying to be her hero. You’ll get yourself killed and her,” Han lets go of Poe. Poe glares at Han. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out some currency he slams on the bar. He storms away with BB-8 with him. Han and Chewie just have to watch the pilot leave.

Han shakes his head. He is disappointed in the hothead pilot. He is also curious; did Leia really call him a coward?


	78. The Twentieth Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, wonderful readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Feedback is always appreciated! Please enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 78

Reaching the twentieth week of your pregnancy, you are well into your second trimester. Your morning sickness has mostly subsided in part due to the new vitamins supplied by Dr. Ryza. You have taken to using any pillow you can find to put around your body as you sleep especially since you cannot cling to Ben’s body. Your increased appetite has made you carry snacks in the pockets of your clothes. Your new clothes that is. Your body has drastically developed over the past ten weeks. You are now wearing compression socks supplied by Dr. Ryza for your often-swelling feet. How you have been longing for someone to rub them besides yourself…

You have lost your cute baby bump and slightly fuller than normal breasts. Now it looks as if you are trying to smuggle a storm trooper helmet beneath your dresses. Your breasts feel as if they way a hundred pounds each though you know that is not the case. You know this is supposed to be a very precious time in your life being pregnant and all. Still, somedays you look in the mirror and feel gross.

You had no issue with your looks during this pregnancy till one night a few weeks ago before your substantial weight gain. You were undressing so Ben could watch you. He had requested to see you naked so he could pleasure himself at your image. You were excited to watch him pant, moan and play with himself. Then he spoke. He made a small and true observation. One you, Dr. Ryza, and anyone with eyes would make.

“Oh, wow, you’ve really put on some weight.”

Maybe it was the hormones that heightened your emotions, but you suddenly felt so unattractive, self-conscious, and unloved. You ended the call then and there and did not answer when he attempted to call back.

You did not want to talk to him. You wanted to cry and so you did. How could he mention your weight and in such a negative way? What would he comment about your appearance next? “Oh, wow, you’ve really gotten ugly.” You would die if he said such a thing. And so, you refused to answer his call for the rest of the week. Why would he want to talk to a fat and ugly wife when he can spend all his time with the _beautiful_ Princess Albassa?

When you did decide to answer his calls, you kept your body hidden and no longer showed it off to him. He did not ask to see either. Neither of you brought up the faux pas. Since that time your conversations have been more and more formal. All talk seems to be about your and his work days. Occasionally the two of you speak of the children. It is strange. It feels as though the two of you are becoming more and more Commander and Officer instead of Husband and Wife.

You have turned your attention to your platoon. Everyday you work them till they nearly drop from fatigue except once a week when you lecture them on protocols and the other day in the week you have them rest. It was the way you were trained in your youth. However, you do not berate your men and women. You do not harm them either. You work them hard and that is all. You are very pleased with the results. It took time of course, but you found that you do like your troopers and they in turn have begun to respect you and not just because of your rank. The incident that confirmed that for you occurred a few days ago.

Your current physical state can no longer be hidden easily beneath flowing dresses. Everyone on Starkiller Base knows you are pregnant. Your new title of Lady Ren has also alerted all to your marriage to their commander and your rank among them. However, in the lower ranks, there are whispers about you and the “true” paternity of your unborn child.

You had no clue that there were rumors claiming another was the father of your children. You were blissfully unaware till the evening when you were going to the cafeteria to speak with your platoon about a change in their training the next day. You were outside of the cafeteria when you heard a verbal altercation beginning.

“You really think Kylo Ren is the father? Your so called ‘Lady Ren’ is the biggest whore in the First Order. It is known to have fucked her fellow trooper FN-2187, Lt. Mitaka, and General Hux. She’s probably fucked more but no one will come forward now. I bet she’s even fucked Supreme Leader Snoke. Then she ran away for a while and who knows who she fucked while she was gone. The chances of her child being Commander Ren’s is slim to none,” You heard some high-pitched boy make his flawed statements.

“How dare you speak of Lady Ren in such a manner and spread these horrible lies!” You recognized TZ-1719 stand up for you. You peered inside the cafeteria. TZ-1719 stood with her hands on her hips as she scowled at the lanky straw haired boy in front of her.

“Lady Ren, is an honorable woman. She is what we all should be striving to be. She started just like us as a trooper and worked hard to rise out of our lowly rank.”

“She was only promoted because she slept with her superiors and ended up being force sensitive,” The straw head retorted.

“There is no proof that she slept with her superiors. No proof at all. It is all gossip and rumors. Unless you can produce any evidence that she slept around, you must accept that her promotions were based on her merit and then her force sensitivity,” TZ-1719 gaveher rebuttal.

“No proof? She’s married to Commander Ren! She must have been sleeping around him and got promoted.”

Although you did have sex with Kylo, your promotion was due to your work.

“Even if she did sleep around with Commander Ren, there is no proof their relationship began before her promotion or that she slept with anyone but him. And who cares when she started her relationship with him? It is no one’s business but theirs. They are our superiors and deserve our respect. And Lady Ren has been nothing except a good leader to our Platoon. She is tough but she treats us like people. I will not stand by and let anyone disrespect her. If I hear anyone say one bad word against her I will personally kick their ass,” TZ-1719 stated. Although you do not need someone to stand up for you, it is nice. Happy tears came to your eyes but you did not cry.

“As will I,” You hear another of your troopers say.

“And I.”

“Me too.”

You hear every one of your sixteen troopers claim their intent to beat anyone who maligns you.

“Tch. If you want to defend that whore then-”

You watched as TZ-1719 sucker punches the boy. His platoon members attempted jump in to intervene but the other members of your platoon came in as well. The cafeteria became a war zone. Only after watching your group easily gain the upper hand, you walked away. You decided you did not need to change the next day’s work.

You did not tell Ben about the incident. You did not tell him about the rumors either. There is no need to worry him about such trivial and untrue things. Dr. Ryzaagrees with you on this.

“I do believe you should always be honest with your husband but there are some things that you don’t have to say especially of he doesn’t ask about.” Dr. Ryza mentioned in one of the may meetings the two of you have had in the past weeks. Your weekly appointments with the doctor are for the twins’ health but lately they have become more focused on your mental health and your relationship issues. You are glad to have Dr. Ryza and her advice. It is It is nice to have someone to talk who has also been married.

Your last meeting with Dr. Ryza was one that started out with very good news. News that is good for you and for Ben.

“Everything looks healthy and safe. When Commander Ren returns, you may begin to resume the sexual part of your relationship. But you must insist that he not be rough,” Dr. Dryza made your heart jump in excitement. Your body has been longing for Ben’s. The smile that came to your face began to fall though. Would Ben want to resume your sexual relationship? You are looking different than before you parted ways. You have ‘really put on some weight’ after all.

Dr. Ryza noticed your lack of enthusiasm. She had thought this would make you happy. She realized quickly what the issue was.

“Is this about your weight? I told you, you are a healthy weight. You are the exact size you should be for carrying twins at twenty weeks,” Dr. Ryza tried to give you reason for you to not be so focused on your weight.

“I know. I know. It’s just…” You cannot push it away.

“I am sure he did not mean to imply you are fat and undesirable. Sometimes men speak without thinking. My Reichnar always put his foot in his mouth. I always forgave him though. Our marriage would not have survived had I held on to every stupid thing he said. You must forgive and forget his wrongs, Sly. Do not let a slip of the tongue bring down your self-esteem” Dr. Ryza put her hand on yours. You smile at her but it is hard to forget. Your self-confidence is still knocked.

“You know, I bet when Commander Ren sees you, he will not keep his hands off you.” Dr. Ryza gave one more attempt. You nodded. You have to hope she is right. You hope that Ben will not be disgusted by your weight gain and still want you.

You stand now in the docking bay. You wait for the command shuttle from the Finalizer to arrive with your beloved. You spent the morning primping and prepping for Ben’s arrival.

Since your hair has not been able to stop growing due to your hormones, you leave it down to show it off. But you do take some of it and gather them up into two small buns to sit at the back part of the top of your head. You put on a high collar black dress. There are circle cut outs on your shoulders and a half circle cut out on your upper chest giving a peak at your cleavage. The sleeves of the dress cling to your arms as they reach your wrists. The dress loses the tightness that it has in the upper body once it passes your breasts. The dress is loose and reaches your ankles. As your waist has ballooned and you did not feel comfortable with a belt around your ribs, you have adjusted the belt Ben gave you to be worn on your upper thigh beneath your dress. Now your lightsaber is hidden but on you. You have made it so there is a hole in the pocket of your dress so you can easily slide your hand in it and grab your weapon from the hiding spot. You wonder if Ben will think it a good spot or not. No matter his opinion it has been working for you.

When you left your room, you thought you looked pretty. You know that your conversations with Ben have not been…stirring but maybe seeing you in person will stir the passion again. Even last night he seemed distant.

“I can’t wait for you to come, Ben,” You told him honestly.

“Yes. It will be good to be back at Starkiller Base,” His reply was not exactly what you wanted to hear. You wanted him to say that he could not wait to see you in person, to hold you, kiss you, and be with you.

“Dr. Ryza and I put off the anatomy exam and gender reveal so we can do it tomorrow with you.”

“That was considerate. Thank you.” His face remained neutral.

“Is something wrong, Ben?” You decided to ask.

“No. No. I am just tired is all” he answered.

“Oh… okay then. I’ll let you go. Sleep well,” You started to end the call. He did not protest at all. In fact, he hit the end call button. It was strange. You did not understand. You still do not understand. Why was he not excited?

Your palms sweat and your stomach flutters seeing the command shuttle approaching. You close your eyes for a minute. You take several deep breaths.

How will he greet you? With a cold nod showing he acknowledges you? You know what you wish he would do. You wish he would come out, whip off his mask and embrace you. You want him to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much he has missed you. But he would not do that. It would not be proper of a Commander to do that. He would especially not do it as you stand waiting for his arrival with Captain Phasma, the other officers, and most of the storm troopers.

You open your eyes and watch the shuttle land. You keep your hands to your side and try not to hyperventilate.

As the ramp lowers from the shuttle, it hisses. You clench your jaw and listen to your pounding heart in your ears. Someone starts down the ramp.

You see it is General Hux. He is as pale as ever. He holds his signature look of aloof disgust as he comes off. Behind him comes another. It is not your man. Instead it is a woman. You know who it is immediately. You grind your teeth as you stare at her. She is beautiful.

Princess Albassa possesses many qualities that the Zeltron people do. You have to assume either her mother or father is a Zeltron that married the leader of Almania. Princess Albassa’s skin is pale pink and looks as soft as a kitten’s ear. Her figure reminds you of an hourglass in how her bust is full and perky, her hips are wide but too wide, and her waist is small. Her stomach is flat so much unlike yours. Her strapless velvet column dress has fitted bodice and a sweetheart neckline as to accentuate her curves. On the back of her black dress is a long purple satin overskirt. She wears a sheer black cape that is held together at her neck by a large purple gem. Her indigo hair falls into a long, loose curls while some has been gathered and put up into a bun behind her head. She has some long wisps of hair that come to either side of her face to frame it. Her oval face is clear and sleek. Her dark lips are full and turned into the most pleasant of smiles. Her almond eyes are purple and sparkle like stars. Her eyes lashes are long and dark. She has made them more dramatic by using her makeup to give her eyes wings.

She is beautiful just as Ben had said. What is worse is that even though she is still far from you, you can smell Princess Albassa’s pheromones. They are sweet, alluring and also calming. You had heard of Zeltrons and their rather special abilities. You wish you would have known Ben was alone with a woman who is part Zeltron for this long. Now, you know his recent distance could be due to his new attraction to her. How could he resist her? Even you are feeling the attraction from her pheromones. And who knows what else she could have influenced? Zeltrons are also known to have the ability to project emotions on others. This beauty could has projected what ever she wants on Ben.

Stop this! You do not even know if she is interested in Ben. For all you know, she could think him a monster in a mask or just an associate. You must calm down! You order yourself.

You tear your eyes away from the princess. Finally, the one you want exits the ship. Tall, menacing and masked, Commander Kylo Ren strides down the ramp. He passes Princess Albassa and General Hux as to gain the leading position. As he comes toward you, you stiffen and hold up your head.

Kylo stops before you and the saluting Captain Phasma. General Hux and the princess stop as well. You see Hux’s eyes go to your stomach then your face. You wonder if that is how Kylo first looked at you too. You put it away. It is time for you to greet him.

“Welcome back, Commander.”


	79. Returned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the great comments and kudos. I know many of you have expressed stress over the events occurring in the past couple of chapters. Just keep holding on, be strong and please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 79

“Welcome back, Commander,” You greet Kylo then look to General Hux, “And welcome back, General Hux.”

“Thank you,” Kylo has no inflection in his filtered voice.

“Yes, thank you,” General Hux starts to smile. What an odd sight to see.

“Captain Phasma, we will convene in conference room eleven,” Kylo informs the captain. Without even looking back to you, Kylo moves to keep walking. Princess Albassa and now Captain Phasma follow him. You stand still. He just walked away. He just said ‘thank you’ and walked away. He talked to Captain Phasma more than you. Captain Phasma! What the fuck?

“Lady Ren,” General Hux nearly makes you jump. You had not realized he stayed behind.

“Yes, General Hux?”

“You are to come as well,” He points out what he assumed was obvious.

“Oh. Yes,” You begin to walk. How were you supposed to know you were to go as well when Kylo said nothing to you?

You are still a distance behind Kylo, the princess and Captain Phasma. The three of them get on the elevator before you and General Hux reach it. Once it come back you and the General enter alone. 

“You look well, Lady Ren,” General Hux is the one who attempts to make conversation. It is so odd.

“Thank you. You do as well. I trust your journey went well,” You make yourself look to him. The elevator opens. Stepping out you see Kylo, the princess and Captain Phasma walking in the hallway before you.

“As well as it could be with those two,” Hux nods his head toward Kylo and the princess.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“I take my husband did not heed my suggestion to play nicely with you then,” You hope that is all he means.

“You wanted him to get along with me?” Hux’s left eyebrow raises.

“It is good for co-workers to get along,” You answer.

“Hm…well, we did not. He preferred to play nice with the princess. I have not seen two people so attached since…well, since you left the Finalizer,” Hux reveals and points toward the princess who has come to Kylo’s side and talks to him with a dazzling smile. Your stomach drops. Kylo and the princess…were they…did they…are they…? You cannot even dare to say think the words.

Kylo opens the door for the conference room. He steps by and lets the princess enter before him. He follows then Captain Phasma goes inside. You stop. General Hux stops when you do.

“Is something wrong?” He does not move to touch you at all.

“I need to go to the bathroom. I will be back,” You begins walking backwards. You find the nearest women’s restroom. Inside you grab the sink and try to breathe.

You want to cry out of the frustration and fury. How dare he practically ignore and then go off with that princess? Yes, there will be others there but you cannot stop fearing that the pheromone wielding, emotion influencing princess has some hold on your husband.

You also want to cry because he did not say anything more than “thank you” to you. There was no embrace, no kiss, no sign of any sort of affection for you. Does he not love you anymore? Has your pregnant appearance and his long time spent with this other woman made him fall out of love with you?

You cannot hold in your tears. You let them fall and slide down the drain of the sink. You look up and see yourself crying. You hate how you look. You make yourself stop. You use some water to freshen your face. You take several long and deep breaths to try to regulate your breathing. Having calmed down some, you stare at yourself in the mirror.

You have returned to looking mostly like yourself pre-cry. But you start to compare yourself to the princess you just saw. Even before you cried, she was far more beautiful than you, at least in your mind. And now you have learned of her closeness to your husband over the past few weeks. How could he resist her?

“Princess Albassa…” Even her name sounds perfect. You wish she had a flaw even if it were something as simple as her name. Even if it was something as stupid as her name being Princess Al- _ass_ -a. 

You sigh but lift your head. You cannot dwell on this. You have to go to that conference room. You must see how Princess Al-ass-a is with Kylo and see is Kylo even cares for you anymore.

You leave the restroom and start off for the conference room. As you near the door, Captain Phasma exits the conference room.

“Is the meeting over?” You ask the captain.

“No, ma’am, just my part in it,” She answers. You nod and let her on her way. You enter the room. At the head of the long, black, rounded rectangle table stands Kylo. To his left is Hux and to his right is the princess. She is sitting in _your_ place.

“Excellent point, Albassa,” Kylo speaks to the princess. Having dropped the title, you can see just how informal they have become. It is when the door shuts that the eyes come to you. Princess Al-ass-a smiles at you as a Hutt would after winning a bet. Hux stands as if to give some respect. You do not understand why he is acting like this today. You walk around the table to the right. You want to grab the princess by her hair, yank her out of your spot, and sit. You do not let your hormone charge wishes control you. The princess stands up now as you come near her.

“Princess Albassa, this is Lady Sly Ren. Lady Ren this is Princess Albassa,” General Hux takes it upon himself to introduce your two. Her lips spread to show her almost too white teeth. She puts out her hand to shake yours. You smile back. You feel the overwhelming urge to like her. You assume it is her emotion manipulating ability. You will not be tricked. Your force training has helped with that.

“Is this your sister, Kylo?” the princess looks back to Kylo. You want to bite her for calling him only by his name.

“I’m his wife,” You correct her. She does not stop smiling and you do not either although now you wonder why she has assumed you are his sister and not his wife. She pulls her hand from yours.

“Wife? Oh! Of course. Sorry, I totally forgot he was married. I didn’t expect his wife to look like you,” Her laugh is melodic but her words are like shots to the back. Why would she forget Kylo is married? And why has she said ‘was’ instead of ‘is’? And what the fuck does she mean by not expecting his wife to look like you?

“I see you are pregnant as well. Congratulations, Sly,” She speaks to you informally now. Her eyes run over you, “Are you due soon?”

Do you look that pregnant that you are to pop out a child? Still, you do not lose your smile You will not let her out-smile you.

“I have around twenty weeks left,” You answer, “But thank you, Princess Al- _ass_ -a.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth you know you messed up. Her smile falls. You hear a cough from General Hux and an almost disapproving noise come from Kylo. You did not mean to say your petty nickname for her.

“It’s Princess Al ** _b_** assa,” She regains a fake smile.

“Oh, I must have misheard your name when General Hux introduced you. My apologies, Princess Al _b_ assa” You try to save yourself.

“I think we can adjourn this meeting. General Hux, show the princess to her room,” Kylo speaks up finally. Hux nods his head. He and the princess walk around the table and meet at the door. They leave the room together. Finally, you are alone with your husband. But you are not happy. How can you be when it is apparent that he has become close to this woman who conveniently forgot he is married? You just want to walk away. You also do not know what to say to him.

“I believe it is time for _my_ appointment with Dr. Ryza,” You turn around to start for the door. Kylo grabs your arm. Though his touch is hard and meant to control you, you love it. You missed it. You look to him.

“I think _we_ have time,” he lets you go.

“It is better to be early than to be late,” you start walking again.

“Stop,” he grabs you again and makes you face him.

“I need to go,” You try to pull away again but he holds you in place.

“Dammit! We are finally together and you keep trying to leave me. What is going on?” You feel is frustration and anger. It is close to your own level.

“I mad at you!” You confess.

“Why?”

Does he really not know?

“Because-” the tears start again. You step out of his hold. Every negative thing you have felt in the past ten weeks and the last half hour bubbles up inside your mind. It pounds at your lips wanting to get out.

“Because, you don’t love me anymore!” You blurt out but hearing yourself say it you know you are wrong. Kylo steps back from you with that exclamation.

“You think I don’t love you anymore?”

“No. That’s not what I meant. It _feels_ like you don’t love me anymore,” You try to correct yourself, “It feels like there is this great divide between us. You stopped talking me. I mean really talking. We fixed it for a time but over the past several weeks, our calls have become shorter, stale and superficial. You did not even seem excited to come back to me when we talked last night. Your actions upon your return only showed your lack of desire to be with me more. I mean you only said two words to me before you walked away.”

“You are the one who started pushing me away. You ended a call mid conversation then didn’t talk to me for a week. You made it very clear you did not want to talk to me,” Kylo defends himself.

“You called me fat! Do you know how hurtful it is to hear your husband call you fat when it is his fault you are and you were only undressing so he can jack off?” You grow red.

“I never called you fat.”

“You said ‘oh, wow, you’ve really put on some weight’.” You repeat his remark.

“Because you did, you have!” He gestures to your stomach. You cover yourself.

“You didn’t have to say anything about it!”

“I wasn’t trying to insult you. I was glad to see you gaining weight. Your breasts are huge and now it is clearer to all that you are carrying my children. I was glad to see it,” He explains.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh…” You look down.

“That’s why you didn’t talk to me? Because you thought I called you fat?”

“Yes. It hurt.”

“I did not mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. But you shutting me out hurt me,” He points out your wrong.

“I’m sorry…” You apologize. “But why did you start shutting me out?”

“I wasn’t trying to shut you out. But things became…so hectic. I was doing all I could to end the damn trip as fast as possible. I was stressed and talking to my wife who went unresponsive was not helping. But I was excited. I just was more concerned about finalizing the details before coming that I didn’t voice it,” Kylo sheds more light on his stance.

“I see…I guess we both fucked up in our communicating,” You look down.

“It is something we have to work on then,” He puts his hand on your shoulder. You look up at him and nod. You stop again.

“But why did you treat me so coldly when you returned? You only said two words to me. Two fucking words!” You hold up two fingers. He moves his hand from your shoulder.

“You know I am not to show affection in front of everyone,” he brings up his issue with public displays of affection again. You want to stomp and tell him to ‘get over it’ but that will not help.

“Still, it was awful. I haven’t seen you in ten weeks and when I finally see you, you say two words and walk off. You left me with Hux. Hux!”

“I had to put distance between us.”

“Why?” It is all so dumb to you.

“Because, I needed to have that meeting with Captain Phasma and Albassa without too much distraction,” he answers. There. He said her name again. He said it so causally as if he were talking about an old friend. The princess had left your mind for a minute but now she is back as is the jealousy and doubt of fidelity.

“Right. I am sure you wanted some undistracted time with your princess,” Your arms cross and you turn your head disgusted.

“What are you going on about now?”

You feel your tears coming again. You know what you are about to go on about. You know that with a distant, pregnant wife who has not been communicating, the company of a beautiful, friendly princess is more than tempting to any man. Your husband is man and an often lonely and horny one at that.

“I am not blind. I am not dumb either. I see how you are with her. You let her call you ‘Kylo’ and you call her without her title. You kept her close and let her sit in my spot. Hell, she could sense no bond between us except maybe that of brother and sister. Then again it might be because she forgets you are married. Why she would forget that fact is beyond me unless it is not reiterated before her by you. But why would you want to bring me up or talk about me around her? Why bring up your fattening wife when that princess is around? No one would want to take away from the sight of her with thoughts of me. She is _very_ beautiful, just like you said. And her pheromones are almost irresistible. It is no wonder why you are so enamored with her,” You hate that you are crying but how can you stop?

“Do you think I’m having an affair with Princess Albassa?” He is genuinely shocked.

“Yes.”

Kylo shakes his head. He backs away from you.

“You really do?” Even though his voice has the filter, you hear it crack. It hits you and hard. You have told him just how much you do not trust him. You have hurt him. You did not mean to hurt him. You begin to rethink. Is it like Ben to cheat? Is it like Ben to lie to you? Is it like Ben to pursue women? No. No. No. Ben is not that sort of man. You know this. But it is easy to doubt when you are insecure, lonely and afraid.

“I have never even been alone in a room with that woman. I have never thought about her in anyway other than her being a pleasant cohort. I have found her pheromones nauseating and my force training has left me immune to her attempt to alter my emotions. She is overly friendly and I think I liked that and allowed it as it reminded me of you. But I never, will never do such a disgusting thing as to betray you. I vowed to give myself solely to you. I pledged to only give you my love. I wasn’t lying. But I guess my word isn’t good enough for you anymore,” His tongue is sharp and pierces you. 

“Ben,” You reach for him.

“We need to get to Dr. Ryza’s office,” He turns away. You come from behind him and wrap your arms around him. You bury your face in his back as your stomach presses against him.

“Ben, I do trust you. I was just afraid and insecure. I know deep down you would never betray me but I let my fears get the best of me. Ben, I’m sorry.” His back grows wetter and wetter from your spilling tears. His hand goes to the ones you have wrapped around him. He pulls them apart and off him. He turns around and puts his arms around you making you press against his chest now. Your arms curl around his back. You clutch his tunic. You cannot stop crying. You hate having hurt him. You hear him say your name. He whispers.

“I am yours alone and you are all mine.”

Being in his embrace and feeling his chest vibrate as he speaks as well as hearing his heartbeat and smelling his natural musk, is like being in vat of a soothing, healing balm. You feel the distance now between you diminishing. It is not fully closed. Clearly, there are problems you two will face as you continue in this marriage, but you know with him being there with you, it will be easier. You thank the force he has returned to you. You pray he is never taken from you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are put at some ease. Ben DID NOT cheat on Y/N. I am not a fan of infidelity (but I like to tease it for the spice). Please, keep an eye out for updates! I'll try to update as fast as possible but it still might be a week depending on my work and life. Thank you for reading, Readers!


	80. Interruptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 80

Kylo pulls back from you. He wipes your tears. Even though it is leather against your cheek, you can feel Ben’s tenderness. You raise your hands and put them on his mask where is cheeks should be.

“Let me see your face, Ben. Please.”

Kylo moves his hands from your face. You let him go so he can take off his mask. With a hiss, the mask comes off. He sets it on the table. His face is pale and long. He has some stubble on his face. There are some dark circle under his wet eyes. You had not noticed theses things last night but transmitter quality is not always clear and your talk was short. Still you cannot help yourself from finding him handsome.

“I look awful, don’t I?” He is suddenly self-conscious.

You love that his looks have betrayed how tired he is. He too has been a wreck due to the distance. It shows he really has been working tirelessly. You love him even more for it.

"You look exactly right,” You reach up for is face again. The roughness from his stubble excites your hands. Going onto your tiptoes, you bring your lips toward his. His hands return to your face as he brings his mouth down to meet yours. His full lips are still soft. Your body wants to melt right there but you do not want your body to in anyway move from him being kissed by him.

Though it has been a long, long time, he kisses you the same as before- loving, hungry yet gentle. There has been no change in his moves and style. It is all Ben and you cannot get enough. He kisses you once, twice and once again, but you will not let him stop. He moves his hands from your face to your hair then down so he can wrap his arms around you again. Your hands venture into the luscious locks of his that you adore.

More. More. More. You want more. You _need_ more.

Ben lifts you up just enough to sit you on the table. You begin to lean back on it as his body not so subtly pressure your body to go down. He crawls onto the table as his tongue tangles with yours. His hands grope your breasts and your feel something hard against your stomach. You know it is not his lightsaber. You want him. You want all of him right now on this table in the middle of this conference room.

“Kylo, are you still-Oh!” The two of you stop your kissing and look up to see that the Princess Albassa has re-entered the conference room in search of Kylo. Her cheeks flush at the sight of you two atop the table.

“Excuse me!” She leaves the room. You grin smugly. Now this other woman has seen that Kylo desires his wife even so much that he would want to fuck her on a conference table without locking the door. You look back to Kylo and stroke his cheek.

“We need to stop,” he grabs your hand.

“I don’t want to,” You shake your head. He kisses the palm of the hand he grabbed.

“We need to. We have to see Dr. Ryza, after all,” He gets off you then helps you up and off the table. You smooth out your dress as he puts his mask back on himself. You sigh but know he is right. 

You two quickly arrive to Dr. Ryza’s office in Medical Bay. The good doctor saluted Kylo when he appeared.

“Come sit over here, Lady Ren,” Dr. Ryza was sure to me more formal in front of your husband. You move to the examination table and sit. She does not ask you many questions as you had just seen her and she knows the answers. Kylo stands at your side motionless and voiceless. You lift up your dress to expose your stomach. Dr. Ryza already has the ultrasound machine prepared. She spreads the chilly jelly on your belly making you shiver. She brings over the ultrasound machine. You suck air through your teeth as she presses the wand onto your stomach. She begins her search for your children.

Your eyes are glued to the dark screen. You almost jump when you see the silvery outline of a skeleton. As she moves around, Dr. Ryza shows the skull, spine, and other appendages of this baby. Your hand moves out toward Kylo. He takes it. You feel the children move inside you. The pressure goes to your bladder.

“Here is baby A. The bones look good. The heart looks….good,” Dr. Ryza is not the most descriptive person but ‘good’ is not a bad word to hear. She moves the wand showing the two legs of baby A from a bottom view.

“So here is baby’s bottom. I can tell you the gender if you want,” She offers. You look to Kylo. You want to know though you two have already discussed what you are thinking you are having.

“Tell us,” Kylo speaks.

“You see that right there,” Dr. Ryza point to a little mass on the screen between the two femurs.

“Yes,” You and Kylo both nod.

“That’s his penis. It’s a boy,” Dr. Ryza smiles. You grin. You knew he would be a boy. He is your Anakin. You feel Kylo squeeze your hand.

“Now, let’s look at baby B,” Dr. Ryza moves the wand away from your Anakin. Another skeleton shows. It is similar in size to Anakin. Still, looking at the skull, spine, arms, legs, and tiny feet thrill you.

“Baby B is just like brother. Bone development is good. The heart looks healthy as well,” Dr. Ryza keeps a pleased look on her face. She moves so the ultrasound focuses on the lower region of baby B.

“Now, Baby B is…” Dr. Ryza pauses. You are not sure if it is for dramatics or if she is struggling to see the genitals of the child.

It will be a girl. You think. That is what Ben saw after all. It has to be a girl. Then again, visions can be wrong. It might be a boy. You would not mind having another boy. You’d love to have two little Bens. It could explain why you have only seen one boy in your own visions and no one else. They could be identical twins who just switch around making your visions seem to only have one child. Two boys would be fun. Anakin and…well, what would you want to name him? Though you like Han, Ben would not go for that. He would reject the name Kade as well. But maybe he would like the name…Jacen. Yes, Jacen is fine name. It was the name of a warrior in the Kade Genti comics. Of course, you would not bring that up during your crusade for the name. Surely, Ben would like the name Jacen. Jacen Solo. That sounds good. Of course, Kylo would insist it be Jacen Ren. Maybe one day you will convince him to going back to using Solo at least for the children. Anakin and Jacen Solo. You smile at the thought. You can see the two boys now in your mind.

“Is?” Kylo does not like this delay in giving information.

“A girl,” Dr. Ryza finishes. Your grin turns into a beam. You liked the idea of two boys but knowing you are having a boy and a girl has excited you more. Ben’s vision was right. You are having a little girl. You feel Ben squeeze your hand before you can squeeze his.

“You are sure?” Kylo asks.

“Yes, sir.” Dr. Ryza nods, “You’re getting one of each.”

“Isn’t that wonderful?” You look to Kylo. He nods his head. Dr. Ryza wipes you clean and allows you to lower your dress.

“I can print off the ultrasounds, if you two want,” Dr. Ryza offers.

“Yes, please,” You speak for you two.

“Okay. I’ll be back,” Dr. Ryza takes the machine with her out of her office.

“You were right, Ben. We’ll have Anakin and our little girl,” You touch where you children are hidden.

“Yes. Anakin and…her,” Kylo can only refer to one of his children by name.

“You are happy that we are going to have girl, right?” The question pops out before you can stop it.

“Of course,” He answers without any hesitation. You smile at that. You wish he were not wearing his helmet so you could see his face and his reactions.

“When I give birth, will you be by my side?” You suddenly bring up the biggest event of your pregnancy.

“If you want me to be,” He answers.

“I do. I would like though for you not to wear your mask then,” You give away your preference.

“With Dr. Ryza there I don’t think I-”

“Please. I want the first time our children see you for them to see _you_ not your mask,” You make a case for your request.

“Alright,” He agrees. You squeeze his hand pleased. “It will just be us, Dr. Ryza, and a medical droid after all.”

“Yes. Then it will just be you, me, Anakin and…” You have yet to name the girl. You know what you want to name her. “Ben, I think I have a name for the girl.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I saw it and I loved it immediately,” You want him to know you already love it before you say it.

“It’s not Meia, is it?”

It is strange to hear your alias coming from his lips. Of course, you do not know if his dislike for the name comes from you using as an alias or because it comes for the Kade Genti’s love interest who you have learned is based off his mother.

“No.” You shake your head.

“Alright. What is it?”

“Hanamé.”

Kylo is silent. You press your lips together hoping he will not realize the name is from the Kade Genti comics and he will not hate it.

“Hanamé,” he repeats the name as if to test it out. “It sounds very familiar. Where did you see this name?”

“I just read it somewhere,” You try to hide the source.

“Hanamé. Hanamé,” he repeats a few more time.

“Here they are,” Dr. Ryza reenters the room with the printed pictures then hands them to you, “This is the boy and this is the girl.”

You look at the pictures and smile. You see she wrote on the back which is which.

“Thank you, Dr. Ryza,” You look back to her.

“You’re welcome. Now, remember to keep taking your vitamins, eat well, drink fluids often, and get a lot of rest,” Dr. Ryza gives her recommendation.

“Is she no longer in danger of a miscarriage?” Kylo asks.

“I see no signs of possible miscarriage anymore. Obviously, she shouldn’t do anything reckless but she can resume her lifestyle in a moderate fashion,” Dr. Ryza answers but eyes you. You know what she wants you to be moderate in and you blush. You wish to even be active in _that_ specific area of your life.

“And when will she be due?” Kylo keeps up with the questions.

“She is at twenty weeks now. A typical human pregnancy should be about forty weeks. Some women go longer but most are shorter. Multiples pregnancy like hers are often much shorter. We will try to last for the forty weeks but most twins come around thirty-four weeks. As long as they don’t come before then, there shouldn’t be any big complications,” Dr. Ryza informs the couple. Kylo nods his head absorbing the information.

“Unless you have any more questions, I will be going to attend my other patients,” Dr. Ryza starts for the door.

“Thank you, Dr. Ryza,” You tell her once more. She nods and leaves the room. Kylo helps you off the examination table. You are about to put the pictures in your pockets but you stop.

“Ben, do you want to carry the pictures?” You hold them up to him. He takes them from your hands. He looks at them then carefully puts them in his pockets. You smile. Now you are both carrying them in a way.

You take your husband’s hand as you walk in the hall. He does not pull it away which pleases you. You do not like it when Kylo acts aloof. You go together back to your joint room.

Inside, Kylo takes off his helmet allowing himself to be Ben again. He takes the photos from his pockets and sets them on the desk. You sit on the bed watching how carefully he puts the photos down and positions them so they are easy to view even from the bed.

You kick off your shoes as to free your feet and to not dirty the bed. You want to be free of your dress as well and for Ben to be freed of his clothes. But you want Ben to express that desire as well.

“We should start trying to get a space ready for the children. We can’t have them sleeping on the floor,” Ben surprises you with his talk of preparing for the children when he turns around.

“I agree.”

“I was thinking since we won’t be able to move off base till after they are born and grown some, we could turn my other room into their nursery,” Ben surprises you even further. He wants to turn his sacred shrine to Darth Vader into a nursery.

“You were?”

“Yes. I will leave Grandfather’s helmet in there so he can watch over them,” He makes you almost laugh but you see he is serious.

“Alright.”

“When we move, I will have a dedicated space for his helmet and we can have a larger nursery for them. But for now. I think that room will do.”

Your turn upward at his plans.

“That sounds like a good plan, Ben. Where do you think we will move when we can leave the base?” You wonder if he found a planet suitable while you two were apart.

“Well, if it under the First Order by the time the twins are able to be moved, I would not be opposed to moving us to Naboo.” When the name of the planet leaves his mouth your heart jumps in joy and you too jump up. You hug him.

“Oh, Ben, I’d love that.” You would. The planet was beautiful and home to your best friend. Ben sets you back.

“Now, that is if it comes under the First Order and it not destroyed in the process,” He puts out some hard truths.

“Why would it be destroyed?”

“You know in war, planets are obliterated with the weapons and soldiers. If it is not compliant an invasion could leave it in ruins or Hux might get to use the base on Naboo to show the power of the First Order,” Ben gives the possibilities.

“What do mean by ‘use the base’?” You cock your head to the side.

“Hux and some of the architects have been working together to recreate the infamous Deathstar but with this base. That’s why so much work has been done here,” Ben begins to explain.

“I am still lost,” You sit on the bed. Ben stays standing.

“The Deathstar had the power to travel and destroy planets and any who opposed the Empire back then. That is what destroyed Alderaan,” He brings up the planet you know was his mother’s.

“And Hux wants to make a second Deathstar here at base?” You are still lost.

“The First Order has spent years transitioning this planet from a planet to a second Deathstar. It cannot travel, obviously, but it will have the capability and range to destroy planets even from great distances. Weren’t aware that was what everyone has been working on?” Ben’s information takes the breath from you. Horror begins to fill you. You had no idea that this was what was happening. You were never on a building crew. You were always in the training for warfare. You knew the others who did work on the base. Did they know they were creating such a powerful weapon?

“I didn’t know. Is it only to destroy one planet at a time like the Deathstar or-”

“No. It will be able to destroy several planets at a time. Eventually, we will use it on the planets that do not succumb to the First Order,” Kylo states as a matter-of-factly. You shudder in horror. So many lives will be destroyed all because they will not submit? Naboo could be destroyed should it not fall to the First Order. Jyn, Robal, the Naberries, all the innocent people…they could die. And not just them, planets and possibly whole star systems could be destroyed. So many lives would be lost.

“Ben, you can’t let that happen. You can’t let this weapon be made,” You stand.

“It is already made. It just needs more time to be perfected.”

“No. Ben, this is a massacre-machine. You must destroy it or sabotage it in some way. You cannot let so many lives be taken because they have yet been convinced to commit to the First Order,” You stand and grab his arm. He eyebrows dip disapprovingly.

“This will convince them,” he claims.

“At what cost? Ben, this is not the right way,” You need to have him see.

“Whatever is going to strengthen the First Order and obliterate weakness is the right way,” Kylo is speaking. You let him go and step backward from him.

“No,” You shake your head, “Murdering innocents is not the right way.”

“Their loyalty will determine their innocence,” Kylo rebuttals. You shake your head.

“I hope you will not teach our children such cruel views,” You watch his face grow sour.

“I will teach them how the galaxy really works.”

“You will teach them to hate,” You snap back.

“You would rather teach them to be weak and foolish.”

“Teaching our children to be kind, to respect others, and to love would not make them weak and foolish. To hate someone solely based on their allegiance to the First Order is what would make them weak and foolish,” You argue. 

“Are you calling me weak and foolish then?” He shoots out the question. He presses his thick lips together and moves his chin as he waits for your answer.

“No! You know I do not think you are either of those things. But I do think that destroying worlds with this weapon is cruel, hateful and drastic,” You express your opinion.

“You wouldn’t have given a damn about the First Order using this weapon had you not gotten involved with that Resistance pilot. Ever since you met him, you’ve been overly sensitive about how the First Order does things. It is no wonder Snoke thought you were becoming a traitor,” Kylo snarls.

“You’re wrong. I have never liked the way the First Order does things, but meeting that pilot just helped me see even more how I hate it. But I am not a traitor. If I were, I would have run away with my pilot when we together on Naboo,” You cross your arms then realize you called Poe ‘my pilot’. Poe is not your pilot. He is a pilot and a friend, nothing more. Of course, now, you have picked at a sore spot. You can see the hurt in Ben’s eyes despite his face’s attempt to keep an angered look. You put your arms down.

This arguing is not helping anything. It is only hurting your already delicate relationship.

“I should have never mentioned Naboo,” Kylo shakes is head, “It always makes you think of _him_ and the Resistance.”

“No. When I think of Naboo, I think of Jyn and I think of _you_. I rarely think of him. He was a friend after all but that is all. He is to me what I guess Princess Albassa is to you. So, unless you lied to me and think of Princess Albassa as a lover, then you should not think of the pilot as anything more than a friend to me,” you try to put your relationship in a perspective to which he can relate. He considers this.

“I still don’t like him.”

“And I don’t like that princess.”

You two are silent for a moment. You hate this fighting. You want it to end. You want to just be happy together. You want to just love him and have him love you in return without prodding each other.

“But I do like _you_ , Ben. I love you. I guess that is the only thing we _have_ to agree on,” You reach out and touch his arms. He grabs your hands and lays his head against yours as he sighs.

“It is.”

Knock. Knock. You and Ben both turn your heads to face the door.

“Who is it?” You call out.

“General Hux,” You hear the man who definitely do not want to see. Ben lets you go and puts his helmet back on his head. He goes to answer the door.

“What do you want?” Kylo startles the general who quickly regains his composure.

“Supreme Leader Snoke wants to speak with us,” General Hux answers.

“Just us?” Kylo asks.

“You, me, and Princess Albassa,” General Hux clarifies.

“Fine,” Kylo does not let any emotion come out of his voice that he is annoyed. He looks back to you. “I will return.”

You watch him leave. At least this time you know he is in the same place as you and will return quickly. You suppose you can wait a little longer for him. Hopefully, there will be no more fights, appointments or interruptions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If your name is Haname, please, replace the name with any name you like. :)


	81. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 81

Hours pass. You wait for Ben to return. As it becomes night, you change from your dress into a black silk nightgown and lay on the bed. What is taking him so long?

The door opens and you sit up. You smile watching Kylo enter the room. He takes off his helmet. You want to ask him what took him so long but you do not want to nag him. You just want him in your arms and in the bed with you.

“I did not mean to take so long,” Kylo begins to remove his outer layers after slipping off his boots.

“It’s fine,’ You will not press him.

“Snoke wanted a very detailed account of the trip. Hux would not shut up,” Ben removes his shirts. You lick your lips watching him bare his skin. Your fingers itch to touch it.

Ben sits on the bed next you. You throw your arms around his shoulders and pull him against him. His skin is warm and smooth.

“I’m just glad you’re here now,” You press your lips on his shoulder. He turns and raises his hand to your cheek.

“As am I,” He leans in and gives you a kiss. Your body buzzes in excitement for what can follow this kiss. But Ben pulls away. He gets up and goes to his side of the bed and begins to lift the covers.

“We should get to sleep,” He takes off his pants and gets into the bed. You get off then get under the covers as well. He uses the forces to extinguish the lights. Will he make his advances once you are in the bed instead of on it?

You scoot close to him. You turn on your side as you see he does too. You feel his large hands slide over you and then pull you against his chest. You tuck your head under his chin. Your hand goes to his back. It has been so long since you two shared a bed. You press your nose against him and inhale his musk. You place a kiss on his pec. He moans at the feel of your lips on him. He squeezes you tighter to him. You love his hold. You close your eyes. 

You wake. You are still in Ben’s arms. For Some reason your body feels rested and full energy. You move back a smidge to look at Ben. His hair falls across his forehead and eyebrows. His stubble has thicken since last night. His eyes are closed and his lips are barely parted. His breaths are deep. Your eyes water. It has been so long since you have wakened to his face and in his arms. You return to your under-the-chin spot. You snuggle against him. You listen to his breath and his heartbeat. It is not wonder you have slept so well. It is the first time in weeks you have. You do not dare to wake Ben now as you can sense this is his first deep sleep as well. You lie still against him till he wakes.

He presses his lips to the top of your head. You pull back so you can look at his face.

“Good morning,” You murmur. He smiles.

“Good morning.”

Though both of you do not have exactly fresh breath this morning, neither of you care. Soft, chaste and languid kisses are exchanged. Just as the kisses begin to lose their innocence, you feel your favorite extra appendage of Ben begin to stiffen against you. You start to slide your hand down to touch it. Ben breaks the kiss and pulls his hips back just enough that your hand does not touch his excitement.

“What’s wrong?” You ask not wanting to stop.

“The time… we have to get ready for the day and you need to show me your platoon,” He brings up work.

“My platoon…surely, that can wait,” Your eyebrows furrow.

“No. We should get ready,” He lets you go and gets up from the bed. He heads straight to the bathroom with his dick semi-hard. You want to get up, follow him in there and demand to touch his cock and more. You do not. You do not want to fight this morning.

You get off the bed and go to the closet to pick out an outfit for the day. You decide on a navy velvet dress with trumpet sleeves and modest -neckline. A wide red silk sash will around your ribs. You will wear sensible shoes with it as your feet do not want to bear wearing heels.

Ben exits the bathroom with his face rid of the growing shadow. His dark circles are gone and his hair is styled. He is still naked which makes you want to attack him. The urge to use the bathroom is more compelling. You go into the bathroom and take your clothes with you. You hang them up on the shower door. You use the facilities before you dress. You swallow your special vitamins before you go to focus on your hair. You leave most of it down. You give yourself a double crown braid before you leave the bathroom.

Ben is dressed and has positioned the desk to hold the breakfast you assume a droid has brought. You take a seat. It is endearing watching Ben prepare your plate before giving it to you.

“Thank you, Ben,” You accept it. You begin to eat but he does not yet.

“I was going through my trunk to get my clothes and I saw that I forgot to give you something,” He moves the trunk you have noticed near the room’s entrance. He opens it and hides what he brought. As he walks to you, he hides the object behind his back. This only makes you more curious.

“What is it, Ben?” You try to lean to see behind his back. He sits and brings his hand forward. You stare at the black box in his hand. The black box is rather puzzling. He got you a box?

“Open it,” He encourages thrusting it forward rather excitedly though he does his best to keep his face neutral. You take the box from him and carefully open the wide flat box. You gasp.

“Oh, Ben,” Your eyes cannot leave the necklaces in the box. From the silver chain hangs the kyber crystals you had left from Dantooine. They are attached by silver settings. As these Dantari kyber crystals have yet to claim a color as you learned with the one you set in your lightsaber, they have remained clear and therefore perfect to match any outfit.

“You left the crystals on the ship with me. I had them made into a necklace for you two wear until the children are old enough to take the kyber crystals for their own lightsabers,” Ben explains.

“It is so beautiful. Thank you,” You touch the crystals you nearly died to get. Having the children have them is exactly what you want. Ben smiles pleased that you like the gift.

“I’ll put it on you,” He stands. He takes the necklace from the box you hold. You move your hair out of the way so he clip it around your neck. You look down to the crystals and smile.

“I must look in the mirror,” you stand up. You pass Ben and go to look at your reflection. The necklace suits you. Though one day you will have to part with it, you treasure it for now.

“I do have a more permanent gift for you as well. Ben come behind you.

“You do?” You turn around excitedly. There is not box this time. In naked fingers is a black ring. You stare at it. It not quite as beautiful as the necklace but a ring is a far different things than a necklace.

“What is it, Ben?” You ask. He takes your left hand and begins to slip it on your ring finger.

“It is ring. I took the metals from a strip of my lightsaber and made it for you,” he gives away the source. You stare down at the simple black metal around your finger.

“Your lightsaber is your life.” Ben had once told you that. This is no ordinary ring. This ring is a sign that Ben has given you his life.

“I love it. I love it!” You bind your arms around him. You plant several kisses on his face as he laughs.

“I’m glad.”

“I’ll never take it off. Never!” You swear.

“Good,” his hand comes to cradle the back of your head as you look up at him.

“Oh!” You hand flies to your stomach as you feel a tumbling sensation.

“What’s wrong?” Ben’s eyes grow and his hands go to your shoulders. You laugh.

“Nothing is wrong. One of the babies is moving. Feel!” You grab his hand and put on the spot. You sit for a moment as the unborn has ceased movement.

“I don’t… feel anything,” Ben’s disappointment is not lost on you.

“Let me lie down. It is easier to fell them move this way.” You hurry to the bed and lie down. Ben gets on the bed with you. You take his hand and move it about your belly. You want so much for one to move and for Ben to feel it. There is nothing.

“Come on, Anakin, Hanamé. Move. Say ‘hi’ for Daddy,” You speak aloud to the children as if this will coax them. There is still nothing.

“It’s okay,” Ben starts to pull away. You grab his hand and bring it back.

“No. They will move. I read in a book that Dr. Ryza gave me, that it is good to start singing and talking to them. They can already hear our voices and when they are born they should be able to recognize our voices too. So, try talking to them. I know they move more when I talk a lot,” You voice what you have learned.

“How long have you been feeling them move?” Ben asks.

“A couple times a day for the past week. So, try talking to them. I’ll lift up my dress too so it will be skin on skin,” You start lifting your dress. Exposed, you put Ben’s hand back on you. Ben leans close to where your large bump is. He opens his mouth to start to speak but stop.

“What do I say?” He looks back to you.

“Anything. Just talk to them,” You smile. Hesitantly, he goes back to your belly.

“Hello,” his voice low, soft and shaky. You do not dare to laugh at the sincere nervousness.

“This is your…daddy. Can you move? Can you move for daddy?” You love how he says ‘daddy’. But there is still no movement. He looks back to you.

“Keep trying. Talk about your schedule or something” You whisper.

“Today, Mama is going to show Daddy her platoon. Daddy is going to see if Mama has been lazy or a good girl,” Ben’s eyes flicker up to you when a teasing smirk then they go back to focusing on the belly.

You know you have been ‘good girl’. Ben will see today how well you have done with your troopers.

“Then Daddy is going to help Mama train in the Force. Daddy knows you two are going to be strong in the force too. Daddy will train you both so you will be the strongest in the galaxy,” Ben voices his other plans. You smile imagining Ben teaching the children how to manipulate objects to move as well as how to fight. There is still no movement though.

“I guess they are sleeping,” Ben remarks sitting up some.

“Try singing,” You suggest the other option you read about.

“Sing?”

“Yes. I sing to them sometimes. It isn’t the best but it gets them movie a little lately,” You bring up your experience. You do not tell him however, the only song you sing is the one Poe would sing for you as that is the only real song you know.

Ben lowers himself. He turns his face away from you so will not see it. He starts soft, so soft you can barely hear him.

“When you're weary

Feeling small

When tears are in your eyes

I will dry them all

I'm on your side

When times get rough

And friends just can't be found,” His voice begins to grow slightly louder. You can hear his low-end tenor voice. It is not bad. It is not as smooth as Poe’s but you love Ben’s voice just a bit more.

“Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.

When you're down and out

When you're on the street

When evening falls so hard

I will comfort you

I'll take your part

When darkness comes

And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down,” Ben stops suddenly. You know why. You feel the fluttering and tumbling inside you. Ben presses hard to feel it better. He beams and looks from your belly to your face then back down. His excitement is like a child’s when receiving a gift.

“I felt them!” He exclaims.

“Yes. They must like your singing,” You still feel them moving.

“Or they are trying to kick me to shut me up,” he half laughs. Once the quickening stops, Ben removes his hand.

“I like your singing and your song. Where is it from?” You ask sitting back up and putting your dress back down.

“My mother would sing it to me,” He gets off the bed. You get off as well.

“Hmm. Was she a good singer, your mother?”

“Some people thought so like me. Uncle Lando was not a fan but he’d never say so to her,” Ben recalls then shakes his head. He does not want to talk or think about the past.

“We need to go. I want to see your platoon,” He grabs his gloves then his helmet. You nod and head for the door. Once Ben is covered, you two leave the room to go see your troopers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was rather fluffy but I like fluff. Haha.   
> The song in the chapter (for those who do not know) is 'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon and Garfunkel. There is some video of Carrie Fisher singing this for anyone who would like to hear Princess Leia sing.


	82. Kick Some Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 82

The TZ platoon stands at attention as you and Kylo enter the sparring room. They are all flawlessly dressed in their uniforms and hold their blasters in their hands. You are pleased to see they have already set up the firing range in the room. You sense the nervous energy from the sixteen members as Kylo comes before them.

How could they not be nervous? They were being observed by the highest Commander in the First Order. Also, the upper level seats were filled with other cadets and troopers. You did not intend to have so many witnesses. You too are nervous to fail in front of so many _and_ Kylo.

“Commander Ren, this is the TZ platoon,” You speak up then proceed to give each of their numbers to him as you walk pass each one. They salute him when you say their numbers.

“I will have them demonstrate their proficiency in marksmanship,” You step back from them. They line up single file in line. The first in line, TZ-2020, goes to the closest permissible mark allowed for shooting. Shooting, he hits the bullseye. He steps back to the next mark - another bullseye. He moves further and no matter the distance he continues to hit the bullseye. 

“Now, turn your helmet around,” You order the trooper. He takes off his helmet then turns it around so he is completely blind to the target. He fires. You smile as he still hits the bullseye. The trooper fixes his helmet, lowers his weapon and salutes you and Kylo. You look to Kylo and wonder is he is impressed?

You cannot tell if Kylo is impressed but the many gasps and whispers of astonishment from the other observers prove they are. You take some pride in this. 

You have the rest of the troopers do the same routine you have trained them to do. None miss. All are perfect shots even with their helmets turned. You were not taught the last trick until you were trained in the Force by Kylo. Though your troopers are not force sensitive, you were able to take away some from your lessons and use it here.

You hear a slow clap from the balcony as your last trooper finishes. You turn your head to see General Hux standing with Princess Albassa. You want to scowl seeing them but you do not. It is not polite after all. The general and princess descend to come to the sparring floor.

“That is very remarkable, Sly. How did you get your troopers to do such tricks?” the ever-informal princess questions once she is close to you. Your eyebrow twitches.

“Patience and much attention to detail,” you reply.

“Hmm. I see. That must have taken all of your training time over these past few weeks. Are they good at anything else?” the princess’s voice holds the cheerful tone but her question is a sugary jab.

“Of course. The TZ Platoon is one of the best fighting groups in the First Order,” You brag.

“Really?” General Hux is the one to express disbelief.

“Yes. My men and women do not know when to give up. They will fight till they cannot fight anymore and then keep fighting. They know their duty is to serve the First Order till the First Order orders them to stop or they die,” you have to spout the First Order theology you had to swallow in your younger days. You told this to your troopers in their training though you do not care for it.

“You think they are better than any other troop?” Hux’s eyebrow rises.

“Yes. General Hux.”

“Then let us see it,” Princess Albassa suggests.

“See it? What do you mean?”

“Have your platoon fight another platoon. Have them show everyone they are superior,” Princess Albassa gestures to the watchers before turning to Kylo, “Don’t you think that’s a good idea?”

“Yes. I do,” Kylo agrees. You look to your troopers. You have full faith that they can defeat any other platoon. You just hate to make them fight for the pleasure of this damn princess.

“Then I will have General Hux pick,” You turn to General Hux.

“Me?” He is surprised that you have given him power but he starts to grin. “I would have chosen your former corps, Lady Ren. The FN group is one of the best in the First Order but they are all away on their four-month training exercise. So, I supposed I will have the next best platoon, the VT platoon.”

You know the VT-Platoon. They are truly one of the best platoons. They have been expertly trained for years. They have real experience why your TZ group has very little. The possibility of your platoon failing is high. Still, you do not want to be a failure.

You look to your platoon. Do they want to fight?

Though you do not ask, you see TZ-1719 nod her head. You know they are ready to fight.

“Alright. They will all engage in hand-to-hand, battle royal combat,” you decide.

“Great,” Hux is pleased. Is he pleased because he thinks your trouble will fall or is he pleased because he wants to watch a fight? You do not know. You see the princess has a rather smug look on her rosy face. You just want to punch her.

“I will talk with my group as you fetch the VT group,” you tell the other leaders. You step away with your troopers. They huddle about you to listen to your instruction.

“Listen, no matter the turn out, I know you are all excellent troopers. However, if you fail this, we all have to bear the annoyance and burden of being looked down upon by not only that smug arse General Hux but all other cadets and troopers on Starkiller Base. So, kick some ass, earn the respect of your comrades as well as your superiors, and give me a reason to give you all the day off tomorrow,” You clap your hands as you finish.

“We will kick ass, Lady Ren,” TZ-1719 states then turns to her fellow platoon members, “Won’t we?”

“Yes!” They agree with great vigor and determination. You smile proudly. You nod and walk away. Kylo has you go up the stairs with him and Princess Albassa. Your platoon goes and sets aside their weapons along the north wall as they begin to stretch to limber up before their fight. The VT platoon comes to the floor. They stand across from your platoon. General Hux comes to join your group.

You know your group will do well. They have to do well. Failure is not an option.

“Begin!” General Hux’s voice booms in the room. In an instant the two platoons begin. To the untrained eye, it looks as though there thirty-two troopers just attacking each other. No one trooper is indistinguishable from another. The TZ platoon and the VT platoon blend together. But you know who are yours. Though they are not force sensitive, you have found that every person has a unique energy in them. Ben had once told you that the force “completely surrounds and penetrates us all. It binds the galaxy and everyone in it together.” As you have become close to your platoon, you have learned to recognize their energies, just as you can recognize Ben’s and to your dismay General Hux’s. You do not have to learn Princess Albassa’s energy signature as her pheromones always give her away.

Your eyes cannot turn from the brutal blows each trooper gives the others. You are glad that your dear troopers have their uniforms on so they have some protection. You want to jump down there and fight alongside them like you used to do. Kylo would kill you if you did and you would too. You cannot endanger your children.

Some of the TZ Platoon falls as to be expected but just as many of VT platoon fall if not more. Alas, the VT platoon comes back. The TZ fall victim till there are two VT members left only your favored TZ-1719. You bite your lip. If she falls, then your troop fails.

TZ-1719 had just taken out a VT member when the other two run at her from behind. One grabs her by the right shoulder. The touch calls for her automatic response to send her fist down into the little area between his cod piece and leg armor. As he groans, TZ-1719 chops her hand upward. She gets underneath his helmet allowing her to hit his throat.

The other VT member gabs her left arm. TZ-1719 spins and elbows the trooper in the back of the head before sending it over his head so she can hook her arm beneath his helmet and take hold of his neck. She rips off his helmet. She throws him down to the grown and stomps on his chest and codpiece before kicking him in the head.

The first VT tries to punch at TZ-1719 but as he misses, she is able to do an uppercut beneath his exposed underarm and ribs. As he begins to double over, her knee flies up into his stomach. When her foot comes down, she kicks his knee making him fall to the side. As he falls, she takes his helmet off and chops him once more in the throat.

The VT men try to get up once more but three more of the TZ groups rise from their fallen state and attack the VT survivors till they no longer resist.

You smile proudly at your platoon. She reminds you so much of yourself. You look to Hux who sneers at TZ-1719 and her fellow comrades. You begins the clap for you platoon. It quickly copied by the impressed onlookers. Only Hux, Kylo, and the princess do no clap.

“Was I not correct, General Hux?” You grow smug.

“They are fine platoon. You have done well, Lady Ren,” General Hux concedes.

“Thank you, General Hux,” You accept the compliment.

“Yes, they are fine group, Sly,” Princess Albassa speaks and her informality annoys you again. You still keep your smile.

“I do wonder though how they would do in real combat when their lives are at stake. I hope fear would not paralyze them and keep them from doing their duties,” Princess Albassa brings one of her long fingers to her chin showing off her perfectly manicured nail and brings attention to her plump lips.

“There is no time for fear and hesitation on the battlefield. That is something every trooper is taught from day one. Though our lives are the First Order’s and not our own, we don’t want to lose our lives. So, we fight fiercely, fearlessly and without mercy. We will never let fear over take us and prevent us from doing our duty,” You notice that General nods in agreement as you speak.

“You speak as if you are one of the troopers,” Princess Albassa chuckles.

“Lady Ren was once a stormtrooper before her…promotion,” General Hux gives away a bit of your history to the princess whose eyes double. You dislike the way he says ‘promotion’ as if you did something dirty to get it.

“You were a trooper?” Her shock is genuine.

“Yes. So, I know what I am talking about and how to train other troopers.” You hold your head high.

“I see…”

“I am going to speak with the platoons,” Kylo announces to the small group and begins to step away.

“I will come with you, Master,” You move to go with him.

“No. Stay here. General Hux, come with me,” He orders. You stay put as he goes down to speak to your platoon. You hope he is only to speak well to them and not deal them a harsh report. General Hux goes with Kylo. The other onlookers begin to leave.

“Why do you call Kylo ‘Master’, Sly?” the princess gets your attention again.

“Because, he is my master,” You answer not really giving an explanation.

“I thought he was your husband?”

“He is. He is also my Master _and_ my Commander,” You give the other titles. You see irritation growing on the princess’s lovely face by how her eyebrow twitches.

“But what is he the Master of that makes him your master?” She wants a further clarification.

“I am force-sensitive. That is why I was taken from the stormtrooper program and made Commander Ren’s apprentice in the Force,” You finally give her the information she wanted.

“I see. But why call him ‘Master’ and ‘Commander’ when you of all people should be able to call him ‘Kylo’?” The princess brings up the formality issue. You hope to give her answer that will show her how her informality is inappropriate.

“Here in the First Order, Princess, rank is everything. We are to refer to each other as such to show respect. If I were to go about calling him ‘Kylo’ freely and publicly, it would only show him disrespect. So, I call him ‘Commander’ and ‘Master’, just as I call General Hux ‘General Hux’ and I call you ‘Princess’.”

“Ah…Well, where I am from, lovers, friends and coworkers don’t call each other by titles. It’s so…formal and distancing,” Princess Albassa gives her planet’s ways.

“I understand. But that is not how things are here. We call each other by first names when we are alone and very close to the other person. Like I would not refer to General Hux by his first name even if we were alone. We are not that close, you see. But when I am alone with my husband, I am free to call him whatever I please.”

Princess Albassa nods her head.

“Well, I see that is how it is here but I am so glad Kylo has not forced me to follow such restrictive rules. It is so much easier to just say ‘Kylo’ than ‘Commander Ren’. And I definitely prefer him saying my name instead of my title. He has such a…sensuous voice, don’t you agree?”

You are a second from punching her and claiming Kylo to be yours. You restrain yourself. You have to assert your claim on Kylo without brute force.

“Oh, yes. I do agree. But you should hear him moan. There is nothing quite like hearing him moan my name especially when he cums inside me,” you overshare on purpose. You struggle not to smirk as her cheeks darken. Her eyes go beyond you.

“Lady Ren.”

You are frozen in panic hearing Kylo’s voice. Did he just hear what you said?

“Yes, Master?” You turn around and bat your eyes feigning innocence. He grabs your wrist.

“Excuse us, Albassa,” Kylo nods his head to the royal who lowers her head to him in kind. Kylo drags you from the room. He pulls you into an empty conference room. If memory serve you right it looks like the one he first fingered you in so long ago.

Kylo makes no move to finger you though. Instead, he puts you against the wall. He slaps the wall when he put his hand next to your head making a wall with his arm.

“What the hell are you saying to Albassa?” He is less than pleased. You swallow knowing he did hear what you said.

“I was just talking to her about how things go around here, like how we use titles. She expressed that she did not like using them especially with you. Then she made a remark that she thought your voice ‘sensuous’ and I was just agreeing with her,” You try to play it nonchalant.

“And you thought talking about me cumming inside you was the best away to agree with her?” He growls. You shrug.

“I think it is a great way to agree,” You know you sound stupid but you will not apologize for what you did. You want the princess to know Kylo is yours.

“So, if a dignitary complimented your looks, I should agree by saying ‘yes but she looks even better with her pussy spread wide open’?” he creates a scenario. His go-to answer makes you blush. You would be so embarrassed if he said such a thing to anyone but you also would feel complimented and desired. If it were to make it known to others that you are all his, then you would get over your embarrassment as well.

“If you feel that is a proper response,” You give him permission. His hand next to you goes into a fist, displeased with your lack of decency in conversation.

“Don’t talk about our sex life with others so freely. It’s embarrassing,” He lowers his hand.

“Why? Our sex life is the stuff fantasy. You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” You try to make him not ashamed. In honesty, you do not want to openly talk about your sex life with others either. You just like to bring it up when you want to make someone else uncomfortable or assert your claim like with Princess Albassa.

Kylo says your name as a warning.

“Okay, I’ll do my best not to bring it up again to others,” You roll your eyes and cross your arms as you give into what you know he wants.

“Good.”

You sigh then then you remember why you two were even at the sparring room. You start to smile again. You lower your arms.

“So, what did you think of my platoon?” You bring them up.

“They are a fine group,” he answers.

“And?” You need more than just ‘a fine group’.

“And they proved that they are assets and are ready to fight for the First Order.” He gives a smidgen more.

“ _And_?” You are fishing for even the smallest of praise for yourself.

“You want me to praise you for the work of your platoon?” He snorts. Are you not suppose to? Should you humbly stand by and let your platoon be praised as you are a forgotten support. A good teacher might have but you want Kylo to praise you. You need to know that he knows you were a ‘good girl’ and not lazy.

Kylo puts his hand on your head.

“You have done very well,” it is his turn to give you what you want.

“You really think so?” You look up when he removes his hand.

“I thought it has been long established that I am not a liar,” He remarks.

“I know,” You smile. You step forward and hug him. When you release him, he takes ahold of your chin gently.

“But now it is time for the trainer to return to being the trainee,” He reminds you of what he had planned in his schedule. He told the twins he was going to start training you again. Your lips will not stop spreading. It has been far too long since the two of you trained together in the Force.

“Let’s get to it then, Master.”


	83. Doctor's Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos. They are so encouraging. It makes me laugh how many of you want to punch Princess Albassa. Anyway, please enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 83

Training with Ben is very…cerebral. Though he encourages you to use the force, he refuses to do any physical training. It is all mediation and lectures. He wants to discuss the force and differing theories involving the force. But he will not use the force against you. You know it because of your pregnancy.

It is sweet that he is so careful. Any mention of feeling the children move during the training makes Ben stop to eagerly touch your belly. You think that he may take his role as Daddy more seriously than Master at this time. That’s fine by you. You like him being Daddy.

However, when training ends and night comes, Ben is still in his Daddy role and not his husband role. You sit on the bed while Ben is in the bathroom. The red nightgown you wear is short and have a plunging neckline that showcases your cleavage. You keep yourself propped up against the headboard of the bed. You hike the hem up some to show more of your thigh and to tease what is higher. You have one of your straps slip off your right shoulder. It exposes most of your right breast but your nipple stays covered. You let your hair down but keep it behind your shoulders as you do not want to hide your body from his view.

Ben walks out of the bathroom with just his pants on him. You look at him with held breath. His dark eyes go to you and he stops. They run up and down your body fast then slowly. Your lips upturn. He must like what he sees.

“Coming to bed, Ben?” You make your voice soft and deep. You rub the spot on the bed next to you.

Ben comes to his side of the bed. He takes off his pants and gets under the covers.

Should I get under too? You are surprised he has not tried to attack you on top of them like he typically does. You lift the covers and slip under but do not adjust your nightgown. You smile at him.

“I’m so glad I got to spend the day with you, Ben,” You turn and put your hand on his bare chest making her nightgown almost uncover your nipple. You see his eyes dart to it then back to your face. He gives you a smile.

“I am too. But we should get some sleep,” He kisses your forehead then he sinks into the bed and rests his head on his pillow. Though you liked the forehead kiss you cannot believe he just wants to go to sleep.

“You just want to sleep?” You voice your surprise.

“Yes. I’m very tired. Aren’t you?” He looks at you.

“Not _that_ tired,” You begin to slide down in the bed. You lie on your side and reach out to touch him. You rub your hand over his chest, down his torso and toward his sleeping manhood. He grabs your hand to stop you. He brings it up and kisses the back of your hand.

“Let’s sleep, sweetheart,” his lips move against your skin only exciting you more. He lets go of your hand and you let it go onto his chest.

“Bennnnnn.” You moan his name as you trace his pecs.

“I mean it. Let’s sleep,” He turns his back to you and waves the lights off. You stay on your side and stare at his back in the dark. He must really be tired. You pull up your nightgown’s strap to cover yourself. You wrap your arms around him from behind as to spoon him. You kiss the base of his neck.

You whisper, “Good night, Ben.”

Four days and nights pass similarly. No matter what you wear, say, or do Ben is always too tired or too busy to make love to you. Even though you have felt his morning wood, he refusing to use it with you. You do not understand. He used to not be able to keep his hands off you. When you were alone in the conference room the first day when he returned, he almost fucked you on the table. Then that stupid princess had to interrupt. But since then he has made to attempt to do more than kiss your forehead or hand. That’s right. He does not even kiss your mouth anymore. He has also begun to wear pants to bed!

In your training with him, you have tried to use the force to penetrate his mind but his wall is too strong lately. He must be hiding something. You can only assume the first…he no longer finds you attractive.

You could just cry thinking that your pregnancy has caused you to lose Ben’s attraction. It does not help to have that pretty princess prancing about. You know Ben is not cheating on you and he would not cheat on you. He is loyal and loves you. He is just attracted to you anymore.

He must love it when I go to train the platoon so he doesn’t have be around his Bantha looking wife. He must be happy to have a meeting with Hux as well so he can avoid our training as well. He’ll probably use his meeting as an excuse to stay away till late in the night then come to the bed exhausted. You mentally sob watching your platoon practice their target shooting.

“Are you alright, Lady Ren?” TZ-1719 comes to your side.

“Huh? Oh, yes. I’m fine. Thank you for asking,” You smile and wave her off.

“Are you sure, Lady Ren? You don’t seem…well, yourself,” TZ-1719 presses. You begin to regret the closeness you have allowed your subordinate to feel. Yet you do not regret it at all. It makes her more loyal after all. But you cannot talk to this child about your sex life and marriage problems. There is someone you can talk to though…

“I think I’m just having side effects from my pregnancy. I will go see Dr. Ryza. Have the platoon finish their practice then you can all be dismissed,” You give your orders.

“Yes, ma’am,” TZ-1719 will obey. You leave the shooting range and start for the medical bay. It takes hardly any time to arrive and locate Dr. Ryza in her office.

“Sly? Your appointment isn’t for a few more days. Is something wrong?” The doctor hops up form her chair and comes toward you concern.

“I’m fine. I just…I need to speak with you,” You do not want her to worry about your health.

“Of course. Come in and sit,” She closes the door behind her. You take a seat in her spare chair. The doctor sits in her chair and spins it around so she can look at you face to face.

“What do you want to talk about, Sly?”

You bite your tongue feeling so awkward. You are sure Dr. Ryza does not care to hear about your lowering self-esteem, your lack of sex, and your other problems. But she is the only one you can talk to about this.

“Well, when you were married, did you husband ever just stop wanting to fuck you?”

Dr. Ryza blinks several times at the invasive and abrupt inquiry.

“Um…uh…I take it Commander Ren and you have not yet been intimate since his return,” Dr. Ryza avoids your question and turns the focus back on the true issue.

“We have not! We almost did but we were interrupted and ever since then, he refuses to even kiss me. I might get a peck on the forehead or hand but he avoids everything else. I’ve tried dressing in my sexiest nightgowns. But he just turns from me and goes to sleep. He’s even started sleeping with pants on! He never used to sleep with clothes on. Is it normal for men to lose their attraction to their wives during their pregnancies or marriage in general?” You look to her for answers.

Dr. Ryza scratches at her temple not sure how to answer this or what answer is correct, especially for this situation.

“Well, I have never been pregnant so that was never a problem my husband and I faced. But there was a time when I felt Reichner was not attracted to me. We had been married for a couple years and we had just joined the First Order as doctors. We were busy all of the time and got into routine. Sex quickly fell out of the routine. I began to try to bring it back by going about my old moves to seduce him. He was not very fazed by it. He always had an excuse to not have sex. Of course, I thought he as having an affair with one of his nurses at the time. He wasn’t. Then I began to think I must be unattractive to him. So, I went to the market on the planet where we were stationed, bought scandalous lingerie, wore it that night, and made his favorite meal. When he came to me, I did everything in my power to make him see me sexually. I also made my feelings clear to him. Of course, after we expressed ourselves physically, he revealed the reason he had avoided me before,” Dr. Ryza shares her experience and gives you much more information about her husband than she ever has. You never knew her husband’s name or that he was also a First Order doctor. It gives you some relief that you are not alone in being in want of your husband’s attraction.

“So why had he avoided you?” You ask. You notice Dr. Ryza’s eyes watering. She will not cry though. She licks her lips before she speaks again.

“He was wanting to put some distance between us. He wanted me not to be attached to him anymore. As sex releases chemicals in our brains that bind people together emotionally, he was trying cut out that great binder,” She gives some of his plan. It makes no sense to you.

“Why would he want to do that?” You have to ask.

“He learned that he had a growth on his brain and that it would kill him. He decided that he was going to kill himself before the growth did. He didn’t want me to be too upset by his suicide so he wanted to make me not love him too much anymore. Of course, nothing would ever make me love him less. I convinced him to spend the time we had left together, together. He died six months after that,” Dr. Ryza gives the rest of the story and the end of her marriage. You cover your mouth and try to not to let the tears that have come in your eyes fall. You regret pushing her to talk about this. Had you known, you would have not come to Medical Bay at all. You cannot imagine the pain Dr. Ryza felt and must still feel having lost the man she loves. You do not dare to even think of how you would be in Ben died.

“I am so sorry, Dr. Ryza,” You apologize. She just smiles.

“It’s fine. It’s good to talk about these things. Talking about Reichner helps him live on despite him not being here physically anymore,”’ Dr. Ryza does not want you to fret.

“Then feel free to talk to me more about him,” You reach over and touch her hand.

“Thank you.” She covers her hand with yours. “But we can talk of Reichner more a different day. We need to help you get laid.”

You chuckle at how the doctor says it as does she.

“I think you need to be clear and honest with Commander Ren about your feelings and desires. Make him speak to you about his feelings and desires too. Make sure you both actually listen to what the other says,” She advises.

“What if he does not want to talk about this?”

“Make him want to. Make him unable to want to talk about anything else.”

“How?”

“I suggest doing it when you two will be alone for a long time in private. Do something to catch and keep his attention. I did it by wearing sexy lingerie and making him his favorite food. You need to do something personal to his tastes.”

You sit and think. In all honesty, you used to be able to get his attention with sex. You did not even have to try to be sexy to make him want to fuck you. As sex is the issue and you are pregnant, it will be harder to get his attention. You wish you had sexy lingerie to surprise him. But you have to have something to maintain his attention.

You know exactly what to do.

“You have an idea?” Dr. Ryza sees the rather devious way your lips curl.

“I might. Dr. Ryza, this may be very strange and inappropriate to ask, but do you still have your lingerie?”

She blushes.

“Uh, I do actually.”

“Would it be too weird if I borrowed it?” You feel awkward for asking.

“Um…well…I don’t see why not. It is clean and I have no use for it right now,” the doctor has no reason not to let you have it.

“Great. Thank you. Could I have before tonight?”

“I can take you to get it right now,” Dr. Ryza stands up.

As you two walk a few doors down from her office, you realize her quarters are here in medical bay. Her door reads ‘Dr. H. Ryza’ unlike her office door that just reads ‘Dr. Ryza’. The door slides away and you follow Dr. Ryza inside her room. You look around at the rather small room. It is bigger than your old dorm but smaller than your and Ben’s current room. There is not much in this is gray room but a bed, desk and small wardrobe.

“It should be in here,” Dr. Ryza walks over to her wardrobe. You go behind her but stop to give her distance and privacy. You look at the clean desk. You notice a hologram projecting pod.

“Oh, do you use this hologram projecting pod to talk to someone?” You ask. Dr. Ryza closes her wardrobe door and carries a black box away from it. She lays it on the bed then turns around to come tot eh desk.

“No. This only projects one message. See,” She touches it. Light emerges along with the single hologram of a man dressed in white doctor scrubs. Even in his scrubs it can noted that his body is well toned. He reminds you of FN-2187 as they have similar skin tones and bright shining smile. His brown eyes almost sparkle. His ebony hair is cut close to his head. He had a closely trimmed beard and mustache as well as thick eyebrows. He is handsome just like Dr. Ryza said.

“Hi, Love. This is a message to make you hurry up and come home to me. I miss you…and I’ve made some deep fried gorg. Your favorite! So, come quickly. I’ll be waiting but I can’t promise the gorg will be. Hahaha. I’m just joking of course. I love you. Bye, love!” He blows Dr. Ryza a kiss at the end of the message. His hologram disappears.

“That’s my Reichner,” Dr. Ryza smiles proudly.

“He’s very handsome,” You comment.

“I know. You should have seen him with his clothes off,” She winks and laughs. She turns back to the bed where the black box sits.

“This is the thing,” She pats it.

“Can I open it?” You ask.

“Sure.”

You remove the lid and find white tissue paper. As you pull it back you see the clothing or rather the lack of clothing. You gulp. You know it will fit you as there is not much to put on but you are nervous to put it on. Ben has not seen you full naked or even mostly naked in weeks. This will surely be something to catch attention.

“Still want it?” Dr. Ryza asks.

“Yes,” You nod.

“Okay,” She puts the paper back over it then covers the box with the lid. The widowed physician puts the box into your hands.

“Now, I better get back to my other patients. Good luck, Sly,” Dr. Ryza pats your shoulder.

“Thank you.”

You and Dr. Ryza leave her room. You depart from medical bay knowing what you must do tonight. You head for your own room.

Walking the hall, you hope you do not accidentally drop the box. You would hate for anyone else to see what is inside. It is very inappropriate for a high standing lady like yourself to have. You also cannot let Ben see what is in the box before it is time. Your stomach drops when you smell the aroma of the very person you least want to see now.

Princess Albassa struts down the hall toward you. Her figure is lovely as ever in her one shoulder, midnight blue gazar gown. There is rouching along the bodice and a cape overlay as her hips. Her dark hair falls in perfect waves while yours is put in a quick and simple braid. Your black, empire waist styled dress has a square neckline and long sleeves which makes you look like a pauper in comparison to the princess.

Her violet eyes find you and do not turn from you. She smiles as she tends to do. It is not genuine. You sense it is not and it is different from the one she flashes to Ben.

“Sly!” She waves at you as if you two were friends.

“Princess Albassa,” You do not stop yourself from approaching her or putting on your own polite but fake smile.

“I was just at the meeting with Kylo and Armitage. Why weren’t you there?” Princess Albassa unintentionally brags though you are not sure if it is really unintentional. Also…Armitage? Is that Hux’s first name?

“I had my own meeting,” You answer.

“Oh. Is that where you go this box? What’s inside?” She goes to touch it.

“Yes, and the contents of this box are private,” You move the box from her reach.

“Oooh. So secretive. Now, I must know what is inside!” She goes to grab it again. You move it again.

“I said it is private. I don’t know if that means anything on Almania, but here is means it not for your eyes,” You snap. Her lips become pursed.

“I did not mean to upset you, Sly. I was just being curious,” she acts like she is a victim.

“I can understand, but please, I am not really in the mood to chit chat,” You are tired of her.

“I see,” Her eyes enlarge judgmentally for a second then she takes breath. “You know Kylo thinks that we could be good friends.”

“He has told me of such thoughts as well.”

“Let us be friends then, Sly. It will make Kylo happy. If Kylo is happy I will be happy. I am sure you feel that way as well,” She smiles again.

‘If Kylo is happy I will be happy.’ The line stirs her animosity against her more. How dare she speak as of your husband as if he and she are connected in any way except professionally. Her emotions and feelings should not be connected to Ben’s emotions and feelings by any means!

“My husband’s happiness is one of my highest priorities. But my happiness is one of his. I don’t think being anything more than what we are now will make me happy. And as the saying goes ‘happy wife, happy life’. If I am unhappy, Commander Ren will be also. So, let us just be civil cohorts and nothing more,” you reject her. Her smile falls. Her mouth drops slightly.

“I must go now, princess. I have long night with my husband ahead of me. Good day,” You pass her and walk on with a smirk on your face. Though agreeing to be her friend would please Ben, you want nothing to do with this woman. You hope now she will not bother you as much.


	84. Borrowed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and comments!  
> WARNING: There are some actions in this chapter that are borderline sexual assault. This story has already been previously tagged with attempted sexual assault. If this makes you uncomfortable, please do not read and skip to the next chapter. 
> 
> If you are going to read, please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 84

Ben returned to your room late. You knew he would come late when the droid came to your room to bring you dinner. Ben sent it as sign that you should eat without him. You did. You also used your time alone to prepare for this evening.

Ben arrives to the room and quickly takes off his helmet. He greets you verbally before going immediately into the bathroom. You sit on the bed in long dress and wait for him to leave the bathroom.

“I’m worn out. I think I will just go to bed,” Ben informs you when he comes out of the bathroom. He only has his pants on him. You hate those damn pants.

“Okay,” You do not make any attempt to stop him as you stand up, “I’m going to go to the bathroom.”

Ben nods and passes you to go to the bed. With his back to you, you grab your black box from the desk. Ben did not seem to notice it. You go into the bathroom and remove all of your clothes. You open the box and pull away the tissue again. You lift up the borrowed ‘weapon’. You gulp again.

“You must do it,” You tell yourself. You put it on slowly making sure you do not get tangled up in it. You let your hair down. You walk to the mirror in the bathroom. You look over yourself.

The piece you have borrowed from Dr. Ryza is a black harness. It has an open bust allowing you heavy breasts to be all out in the open. There are Tarisian rose appliques that start at the shoulders of the harness and come together down between your breasts and to the waist strap that hugs your protruding belly. From the waist strap comes two lines that diverge to give you and open crotch but they connect in the back creating a thong. You turn to see the thong as well as the diamond then x-shape on your back.

Even with your pregnancy belly you know you look pretty damn sexy. You just have to hope that Ben thinks so too. You put on his black robe to cover up and go to the bathroom door. You take another breath.

“Ben,” You come out. Ben is already in the bed under the covers. He rolls over so he can look at you.

“What is it?”

“I have something I want to show you,” You untie the robe but keep yourself covered.

“What is it?” He sits up in the bed.

You come to the foot of bed then drop the robe. Excitement fills you seeing his eyes bulge and his breathing stop. He cannot look away from you. How could he? All of his favorite parts are on display and framed.

“Ben,” You call his name gently. His eyes finally come to yours.

“What do you want to do?” You put it on him to come up with what is next. You see his lips go together. His chin wiggles like you love. His nostrils flare as he takes a breath.

“I am going to bed,” he turns from you. It is a blast to the chest. You have to survive though.

You had caught his attention btu know it is time to keep it. You rip the covers off the bed and Ben.

“What you doing?” Ben shoots up startled.

“You have forced my hand, Ben!” You hold out your hands.

“What are you-whoa!” Ben falls onto his back on the bed against his will. His head rests on his pillow. Seemingly from out of nowhere, literal rope emerges from beneath the bed. Like snakes and comes and curl around his wrists and ankles. They pull down tightly. Despite his attempts to pull out of the hold of these mysteriously moving ropes, he cannot. He sees your hands are still out toward the bed. You are the cause for this.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he barks.

“Getting your attention!” You lower your hands. The rope which you had gotten from the supply room is long enough to tie at one of his wrists, go under the bed and be tied to his other wrist the same goes for the rope tying his ankles. He is trapped. You get on the bed. Your feet go on either side of his hips. You notice the outline of his suppressed, erect penis in his pants.

“Release me,” He orders.

“No,” You shake your head.

“Release me, now,” He goes again.

“No,” You refuse again.

“Release me now, dammit!” He snaps.

“No!”

“You will release me now or I will-”

“You will what? As long as you are tied up you can’t do anything. If I release you, won’t be able to do anything either. My condition kind of saves me from your punishments,” You cross your arms and points out how no revenge can be taken on you. He scowls as he knows you are right.

“Why exactly do you want my attention?” He asks bringing up the answer you gave him earlier about what you were doing.

You drop your arms.

“Isn’t it obvious?” You gesture to your outfit.

“You’re trapping me because you’re horny? That is very selfish,” he states.

“Selfish? From what I can see,” You look to the hidden erection, “you are feeling aroused too.”

“I’m not,” He shakes his head. You step back between his spread legs. You get on your knees. You grip his pants. Though they are thicker material you use the force to help rip off the pants. His penis springs up full of life and in want of something. You toss his pants to the floor and smile looking at how your commander is fully exposed to you now. You put your foot on his cock. You begin to rub the underside with your foot as you press it down toward his stomach.

“I think your friend has given away that you are.”

Yes, his body has given away the truth. He wants you, but he will not admit it. He looks away from your active foot. You watch him keep his mouth closed but his spread nostrils give away his staggard breathing. You look down to his pulsating member. You are careful not to put too much pressure on it as there is no way you would ever want to break it. You keep creating more friction as you move your foot up and down it. Getting to his tip you curl your toes just enough to tease it. You bite your lip getting turned on by the feel of him. It had been so long since you have had your naked skin against his warm hardness. Even though it is just your foot touching it, your body can already imagine what it would like to be inside again. You let your fingers go to your lower area. You touch yourself for the first time in what seems like years.

“Look at me, Ben,” You see that he still does not look at you.

Ben still does to turn his head or eyes to look at you. It angers you. He is refusing to look at you now. You will make him look at you then.

You take your foot off his twitching penis and your hand away from yourself. You walk the length of him before putting a foot on either side of his head. You return you hand to your wetness. You are sure to spread it wide. He had told you the other day you look “even better with her pussy spread wide open”.

“Look at me, Ben,” You order again. He does not even when a little bit of your juice drips on to his cheek. You hold your hand out to his head. Using the force, you make his head turn so his eyes have no choice but look up at you and your lonesome lower half.

“Fuck,” the word comes through his clenched teeth.

You know he likes what he sees. You start to smile. He closes his eyes.

“Open your eyes!”

“No. I’m not going to give into you,” He huffs.

That’s it! You furrow your brows. You drop to your knees and straddle his face. You grab a handful of his hair so you have control of his head then you grab the headboard. You begin to move your hips. Your wet, spread pussy glosses Ben’s face. As his lips refuse to open and let his tongue taste you, you find your desired friction by rubbing yourself against his chin then his nose. He has to open his mouth to breathe as his nose is covered. The hot air sends tingles through you. You rub harder. You are going to cum whether he likes it or not and you are going to do it on his face!

No. You stop. You do not want to force him. You want him so badly but won’t this just do more damage between you two? It would be like you are raping his face. That is not okay. If he never wants to fuck you again that is his choice. You cannot make him no matter how much you want to.

You let go of his head and push your self to your knees so you no longer smother him with your pussy. You move to the side of his head. You cannot help crying. You cover your face truly upset with yourself. What have you become that you are about assault your husband?

Ben finally says your name. You open your eyes to see him looking at you. Your liquid love is all over the lower face of his face.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” You sob.

“Why are you doing this?” He asks again.

“Because you won’t make love to me. You keep avoiding any contact with me. You are becoming distant from me, AGAIN! Have I become hideous to you? Is it the baby weight? Is it because I’m no where as beautiful as Princess Albassa?” You voice your insecurities. Ben tries to move to touch you but his bound arms prevent him. He sighs and shakes his head as he repeats your name.

“Fuck Alabassa. She’s a Kowakian monkey-lizard compared you,” he grunts.

You are taken back by this comparison. He had said Princess Albassa was beautiful. What does he think of you then?

“And you are being so unfair to me. You have been unfair to me since I returned. You know I can’t fuck you yet you do things like this which only make me what to fuck you more. Even as I’m speaking, I’m getting bits of your cum in my mouth and all I want is more. But we both know I can’t. Why are torturing me like this?” He struggles against the ropes again.

“What do you mean you can’t fuck me? You _can_ fuck me,” You do not understand.

“No, I can’t. We both know sex in your delicate state can make you miscarry. Until Dr. Ryza clears it, I’m going to do everything I can do to resist you just as I have for the past few days,” He declares his intention. You pause. You wipe your tears away with the back of your hands.

“Oh, shit,” You whisper realizing what you have done or rather have not done.

“What?” Ben knows you are not cursing for no reason. You laugh at yourself then give Ben a sheepish grin.

“I forgot.”

“Forgot that fucking will make you miscarry?” Ben does not find it humorous.

“No. I forgot to tell you that Dr. Ryza gave me the all clear. She just told me to be careful but sex is back on the table for us,” You cannot believe you forgot to tell him.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you. I was so excited to see you and with the knowledge already in my brain I just assumed you knew but you didn’t. I’m so sorry, Ben,” You apologize again.

“Dr. Ryza did?” he does not seem to believe you.

“Yes! She’s the one who actually gave me this outfit in hopes it would encourage you to finally have sex with me.”

Ben’s face is flushed. He cannot believe that you told the doctor about your lack of sex. Then again, he can. He is further frustrated and confused that you neglected to tell him that he did not have to restrain himself these past few days.

“So, you really were just trying to protect the children by keeping from touching me?” You check.

“Of course. I just have to look at you and I get hard. I almost came the second you dropped your robe moments ago,” He is not ashamed to admit it.

“I’m sorry. I should have remembered to tell you. It would have saved us both some grief,” You relax more.

“Yes. It would have,” He agrees.

“I guess doing all of this was a bit extreme,” You look down at your play harness.

“Well, I don’t mind this,” He nods to your outfit.

“Even with this big belly?” You touch your stomach.

“Especially so.”

You smile.

“Then you won’t mind if I finish what I started, will you?” You ask already rising up again. He shakes his head. You grin and straddle his face again. You re-excited quim is greeted by parted lips and a tongue. You hold the headboard with one hand as the other goes to grin Ben’s thick hair again. You rock your hips back and forth as his tongue writes the entire Aurebesh alphabet inside you. His lips go to grip and suck your clit making you stop your rocking.

“Ben!” You cry out in ecstasy. Ben more than willingly laps up the proof of his success in pleasuring you. You release the headboard and his hair. You get off his face that is smeared with even more of your cum. You like the way it glistens on him.

You move your way back down his body to where his cock stands upright in painful need of attention. You will see to it that that Ben’s dick is not denied what it wants most anymore.

You look to Ben who watches you squat over him. You have grasped his cock gently but have yet to lower yourself onto him.

“Untie me,” he breathes out the command with a lusty look.

You shake your head.

“Untie me. I want to-”

“Unuh,” You shake your head again liking that you are in control. It is rare for Ben to be vulnerable this way. He says your name warningly as if he could do anything about his condition. You move down and let his tip slide inside you. You close your eyes at the sensation of just his head in you. You move down to your knees and sink down slowly so you savor as every inch of him fills you. You sit on him with head thrown back having taken all of him in you.

“Finally,” You hear Ben murmur the same thought in your mind. Wanting to keep Ben trapped in you forever you swivel your hips then rotate them in a circle. You move clockwise then counter clockwise then clockwise again. You lean back and grip his thighs for balance as you begin to raise and lower your hips. This way Ben has a clear view of the uniting of your bodies. He yanks at the ropes as he growing closer to his limit. You sense it and know yours is coming too.

One of the responsibilities of being the one with power is not to abuse it and to return to the one you love when it is time. You sit upright and wave your hands. The ropes release Ben.

Free, Ben shoots up and quickly wraps his arms around you. You stop moving as does he. One of his grabs at your ass while his hand goes up into your hair. His mouth finally meets yours. You do not care that your taste is still on him. You can still taste him beneath it. When your tongues begin to dance is when he starts thrusting up into you. Your hips move to match his rhythm. Your arms around his neck to keep him close. Your nipples rub against his chest making you mewl into the kiss. You did not realize how sensitive they have become. It only increases your pleasure. Ben moves his mouth. He leans back enough so he can look you in the eyes.

He is all yours. You are all his. His eyes are only on you and yours only on him. Where else would they go? Nothing else exists. There is Ben and there is you.

Even after the big finish comes, you two stay entangled with the other. You rest your foreheads together and stay still. ‘I love you’ is not said by either of you but it is felt by both of you.


	85. Spilled Milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and kudos! I super appreciate them!  
> This chapter contains a kink requested by Ollie. It has been like a month since you requested this but I finally did it! I hope you and all the readers enjoy it!!

# Chapter 85

“Oh,” You let go of Ben as you feel the stirring of the twins inside of you.

“What’s wrong?” Ben goes into concern mode.

“I just feel the twins moving. Feel,” You take his hand and place it on the spot you feel the most movement. Ben smiles as he feels the light movement.

“I get it. I get it. I’ll get out of Mama,” Ben speaks to the mover and pulls himself out of you. But you still stay resting on his lap.

“Now, now, _Daddy_ , I didn’t want you out of me yet,” You put your hands on your hips. Ben smirks. You feel him toughening under you.

“Say it again,” He whispers.

“What?” You want him to be clear as possible.

“You know what,” He speaks in hushed tones despite there only being the two of you in the room. You smirk now.

“Daddy,” You whisper it. He gets even harder. You begin move your hips to rub against him. His breathing becomes heavier. You put your arms around him and lean your mouth to his ear.

“Daddy. Daddy,” You moan continuing to rub against him.

“What does Mama want Daddy to do?” His hands start to grip your bottom. You like how he calls you ‘Mama’.

“Mama wants Daddy to make up for all the weeks he had to stay away,” You answer.

“Daddy will.”

Ben is surprisingly smooth in how he turns and lays you down so your head goes to rest on your pillow. He keeps your legs spread and your knees at either side of his hips. He gently pushes himself back into your wet folds. He arches his back so he dip his head down. His mouth kisses the exposed flesh of you neck. He moves his way down over the Tarisian Rose appliques to your very unprotected breasts. One hand goes to grope your left as his lips go to latch onto your right nipple. Your eyes roll back as he plays with your breasts and continues to penetrate you. His fingers pull and rub your left nipple as his tongue writes a secret message on your right before he sucks more. Thought it is impossible it feels like you are about to cum from your nipples as well as your womanhood.

“Oh, Daddy, you’re making Mama cum! You’re making Mama-Ah!” You grip the sheets beneath you as a bursting sensation come from your played breasts and your nether region.

“Huh?” Ben pulls his mouth away and stops rocking his hips.

“What’s wrong?” You pant still slightly high from your orgasm.

“Look,” He nods to the breasts still in his hands. Your eyes downturn to catch sight of your nipples. There is a liquid leaking from both nipples. Your face reddens.

“I think that’s my breast milk….Dr. Ryza did say my milk could come early but…” You cannot believe you are already lactating and while having sex, “I’m sorry. I’ll go clean it off.”

As you start to try to push yourself up, Ben pushes you back down by the shoulders. Your eyebrows form a quizzical look.

“What are you-”

His eyes keep going down to the liquid coming from your erect nipples. His pink tongue runs over his swollen lips where traces of your breast milk remain. His mouth return to your right breasts and the sucking begins again as do not so gentle thrusts.

You yelp at the sudden stimulation. This does not discourage Ben from his actions. You do not want it to either. Though you just came, you feel yourself on the verge of your third orgasm. Having your uterus kissed by his tip while he sucks and fondles your breasts is electric. He switches breasts. He is sure to lick up the milk that leaked and spilled further down your breasts when his mouth was not able to catch it.

“Ah, Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” You moan over and over again as your legs wrap around his moving hips trapping him against you.

“Is Mama going to cum again?” He pulls his mouth away and brings his face closer to yours. You see some of the milk running down from the corner of his mouth. His tongue darts out and swipes it up into his mouth.

“Yes, Daddy. Yes,” You groan knowing you are about to lose yourself. Ben hits harder hearing this and brings his fingers to your clit.

“Cum for Daddy again, Mama,” His demand is breathy.

“Daddy, cum too. Cum with Mama,” You urge him. His mouth comes back to yours. All built pressure is released from you in an electrifying wave as Ben finds his rapture as well by freeing his white gold in you. Your breasts also spurt out in the relief that has come from cumming.

Ben breaks the kiss as you two try to recover. As your chest heaves in want of air, Ben slips out of you and lowers himself. His tongue goes your breasts. You watch him as he laps up the spilled milk. Your body tingles but he does not go to suck your breasts again.

“Let’s get cleaned up,” He gets off the bed then picks you up to cradle you. He carries you into the bathroom. He sets you down and carefully removes Dr. Ryza’s harness from you. As he each strap falls, he kisses the skin that had been covered. He pays extra kisses to your belly. 

Once the harness is off and tossed elsewhere in the bathroom, Ben leads you into the shower. In the warm water, you too take your time soaping the other. Ben easily shampoos your hair but you have to make him bend so you can do his. Several kisses are exchanged, both delicate and hungry.

Ironically, though you two came to get clean, you are quickly soiled again when Ben lifts you up and pins you against the shower wall as he fucks you once more. Luckily there is enough soap and water to clean you both once more.

When you two are finally back in the bed under the covers that Ben picked up from the floor, you happily cuddle against him. His arms hold you securely. This is exactly for what you have been waiting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit short but I hope enjoyable. :D


	86. An Announcement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you so much for the comments and kudos! Please enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 86

Having woken late, you and Ben decide to forgo the day’s work schedule. How can you two work when there is so much to make up for?

After two orgasms this morning, you need a break and Ben a rest. You sit against the head board with pillows behind your back to give you extra support. Ben lays on his on your shrinking lap. Your breasts dangle in front of his face.

“I’m thirsty,” Ben murmurs on your lap.

“The get some water,” You give the easiest solution to cure his thirst.

“I think I want something else,” Ben sighs.

“Oh? What?”

A wicked smile spreads on his long face. Before you can stop him, his mouth is around your nipple. You yip as he beings suckling. You notice as he drinks, his dick grows. You reach your hand out and take hold. He moans at the touch. You cannot stop now.

You close your eyes for a moment enjoying the sensation of his heat in your hand and the sucking on your nipple. Then Ben’s hand goes to the untouched breast. His fingers spread your undrunk breastmilk about your nipple and areola. Neither you nor Ben realized how much you both are getting off from your lactating.

“You better stop or there won’t be enough for the babies,” You start tug away though you actually love the sensation of his mouth on you.

“They won’t be here for a while and you need to learn to how to breastfeed,” Ben releases your nipple long enough to get out his excuse to continue. You roll your eyes at his reasoning. You push back some of his dark hair away from his forehead. You snicker at how much Ben looks like a baby. Of course, a baby does not turn you on in the slightest, play with both breasts or require a hand job. Still, you wonder if Anakin and Hanamé will be hardy eaters like their father.

Your mind leaves it focus on the children as you feel Ben’s slip his hand between the thighs he lays on. His long fingers are able to slide just far enough to graze your clit. You inhale sharply. Your thighs close around his wrist making it impossible for him to pull away. He acts as if your clit is a marble that he wants to roll about a table yet keep under finger.

“Ben…Ben, I want more than your finger,” You whine and eye the miniature commander in your hand. His lips leave your breast with a “smack”. He sits up and licks his fingers that have played with your other breast before pulling his clit teaser to lick it as well.

“Fuck. Why does every part of you taste so good?” he asks you then goes to taste your mouth. You let go of his knob so you can hold his face.

Ben twists around and sits down. He motions for you to climb atop him. You bite your lips as you take him inside. Your knees bend at his thighs. You begin to leans back. His knees raise and support your legs some. You both lean back on your arms that prop you up. Ben thrusts into you at a steady and filling pace. You love that in this position you can look right into his face and have a full view of your grinding bodies.

 **Knock. Knock.** You turn your head hearing the noise though Ben does not. You know exactly who it is. You were so consumed with sex with Ben your senses could not detect anything else until the knocking. You look to Ben does not stop his movements but nods for you to answer.

“Who is it?” You ask though you know who it is already.

“Albassa,” You hear the melodic voice of that half-Zeltron princess.

“Princess Albassa? What do you need?” You ask. You ask then bite your tongue as Ben nudges the right spot. Seeing he has, Ben does it again.

“I am looking for Kylo. He missed the morning meeting with General Hux and me,” She answers. You know why. You two have ditched work. But now that this woman’s whose odor even permeates through your door has arrive is attempting to ruin your time with Ben.

“Is he inside?” Albassa asks.

“He’s inside alright,” You giggle as he is literally inside you. Ben rolls your eyes at your immaturity though he does allow himself to smirk.

“Then let me in to speak with him,” Albassa does not ask.

“He’s b-busy,” You stutters as Ben’s fingers find their former place on your clitoris.

“I’m sure he will not mind as it is me,” Albassa is confident. You glare at the door.

“Just get rid of her,” Ben whispers.

“Trust me he would,” You try to discourage her.

“I demand to see him! This is of the utmost importance!” Albassa stomps her foot.

You want to see him now? Fine! You think and wave your hand.

“What are you-” Ben realizes what you have done.

“Thank you. Now, where is Ky-” The princess stops. Her eyes cannot look away from the sight before her. Kylo Ren is naked and obviously fucking his very pregnant wife on their bed. He looks back at the princess with an annoyed expression while his wife looks to her with a smug, humored expression.

“Excuse me!” The princess darts away like her did that day in the conference room. The door shuts behind her. You laugh but Ben does not. He stops moving and sits up. You sit up and put your hands on his shoulders. He roughly grabs your arse cheek. You like the hold.

“You should not have done that,” He scolds.

“How else was I supposed to get rid of her?” You shrug.

“You know you could have done something different. You should not be so unkind to her,” Ben continues and starts to take the princess’s side. You lose any pleasantness you have.

“Unkind to her? Are you fucking kidding me?” You pull his hands away from you bottom.

“She is a nice woman. You shouldn’t try to embarrass her like that or make her feel lesser,”

You cannot believe what you are hearing. You get off him. He grabs your arms.

“What are you doing?”

“I am not going to keep fucking a man who is more concerned about the feelings of some bitch than his own wife’s,” You pull out of his grip and start to get off the bed.

“That’s not true,” He tries to grab you again but you move out of his reach by getting all the way off the bed.

“It seems like it to me. I know you have gotten to know her over the past several weeks as a coworker but it so obvious to me that she thinks of you as more than that. She refuses to call you anything but Kylo. She comes looking for you at your bedroom. She brags about being in meetings with you when I am not. She talks about you being ‘sensuous’ and told me she wants to be friends with me because she wants to please you. If you are happy, she is happy. Can you not see she likes you? How can I be friends with someone who clearly wants to fuck you despite you being married to me?” You cross your arms.

“I did not know all of that…” Ben absorbs the information.

“Well, how could you? She has probably influenced your emotions toward her like she has done with everyone else on this planet. She has tried with me but I have yet to be manipulated,” You are proud of your resistance against her.

“I have not been influenced by her,” Ben denies having been.

“Really? Then why keep her around? What purpose does she serve for the First Order? I know she is a representative of Almania sent to be trained to be in the First Order and has helped with some negotiations on your trip home, but why hasn’t she been sent to train with other officers instead of shadowing you and Hux? Why is she allowed to call everyone by their names instead of ranks? I am your wife and second only to you yet I still call you by a title instead of ‘Kylo’ when we are in public. Either she is of some great importance that I have yet to learn or she is manipulating you and General Hux with her Zeltron ways,” You give the two options.

Ben rubs a hand through his hair. He sighs then looks to you again.

“Princess Albassa was brought to learn our ways and become an officer. On her journey with us to Starkiller Base, she has proven herself to be a bigger asset than just another officer and negotiator. I have taken to keeping her at meetings as her Zeltron heritage does serve me well as to influence the emotions and decisions of those with whom I meet. It is easier than having to argue or use the force to compel others into agreeing. She also mellows Hux out for me like you used to do in our meetings,” Ben finally explains the princess’s purpose. You can understand the value of her now for Ben but you are still not pleased.

“But why allow her to be so informal and for her to attend all meetings? I do not even attend all meetings with you,” You point out the other problems.

“I should not let her be so informal. I will correct that problem,” He says.

“You’ve said that before and you didn’t,” You do forget the old promise and turn your back to him. He gets off the bed. His hands go to your upper arms.

“I _will_.” His voice and intention do not waver.

“Good.” You do not look back him still.

“And I do not have you at all meetings of your condition and because you have troopers to train,” Ben goes back to your other issue.

“I think sitting is not to vigorous for me. And my troopers are ready for action. They do not need my training anymore,” You make yourself available and uncross your arms.

“If that is so then I will consider letting you come to more meetings. But you will have to get along with Princess Albassa,” he sets the condition.

“I have already resisted punching her on several occasions and told her to her face I will be civil with her. But I am not going to be friends with her Ben,” You are clear. His eyes roll as he exhales.

“I’ll settle for that.”

You start to smile again. You twist your neck to look at him.

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

“Is that so?” His foot goes between your and nudges your legs apart as one arm goes around your chest. You feel his re-hardened penis pressing at your entrance.

“We should seal it then,” he kisses the lips turned toward him. He pulls you back with him. He sits on the back and brings you down with him causing you to sit on his waiting cock. His lips move to your neck and carelessly marks it. His hands go to massage your breasts while you move your hips. Your left hand refuses to leave Ben’s thick hair as your right fingers finds itself stuck to your clit.

“I-I’m-I’m,” You cannot speak properly.

“Me too,” He groans twitching inside of you.

You shudder as does Ben when the end comes. His hand drops from your hands and yours leave his hair and your clit. You turn your head again so his lips and yours can seal together. 

* * *

You should have worn a high collar dress for your meeting the next morning with Princess Albassa, General Hux and a few other Admirals. But you chose instead to where a black v-neck dress. Though most of your body is covered by the length of the skirt and sleeves of the dress, the upper part of your cleavage is not. Your hickey covered neck is not covered either. You should have worn your hair down but you twisted it up into a bun. You wear Ben’s love bites with pride.

You sit at Kylo’s right hand while Princess Albassa is made to sit next to you. You pretend to have a crick in your neck thus making you move and stretch your neck. Really, you just want to be pettier and show off to her. She barely makes eye contact with you.

You never did learn what was the important news that Princess Albassa had to tell Kylo so badly yesterday. It must not have been that important because she never came back to the room. Instead you saw her and Kylo speaking before the meeting when you had come from meeting with your platoon.

“Now, General Hux,” Kylo sits down. Hux stands with smooths is already gelled down hair with his gloved hand.

“I have arranged a meeting with the leaders of Coruscant. They are willing to hear out our position and will decide if they will join us then. Of course, we have learned of some Resistance bases that may be hidden on the planet as well. We will send of our best operatives to uncover the base while Commander Ren, Princess Albassa and I meet with the leaders,” General Hux announces the positive news for the group. You had no idea there was a plan to go to Coruscant. And Kylo is leaving you?

“And Lady Ren as well,” Kylo adds you. Princess Albassa presses her pert lips together at the addition, but you are glad Kylo is going to include you. 

“Yes, and Lady Ren as well,” General Hux nods. “We will be departing in the morning.”

Kylo stands up again.

“While we are gone, Admirals, be sure to send platoons to the following locations: Koda Station, Lorta, Indupar, Daalang, Ansett Island, and Barab I. Control of these places must be taken by any means necessary,” Kylo lists and gives the charge. “You are all dismissed.”

The Admirals rise and leave. You get up and come toward Kylo. You see that neither General Hux nor Princess Albassa leave.

“Don’t you two need to prepare for our journey?” Kylo looks to the other two. General Hux does not look at Kylo but instead his eyes go to Princess Albassa. His lips begin to spread into a smile. It is rather unsettling…at least to you.

“I have a personal announcement,” General Hux clears his throat after saying so.

“Oh?” Your raise your eyebrows.

“As of last night, Princess Albassa has agreed, with permission from Supreme Leader Snoke, to marry me.” The proclamation is nothing short of jaw dropping. You look to Princess Albassa who smiles. Her smile is the one she always wears when she speaks to you. It is not the one she wears when Kylo speaks to her.

Has she really agreed to marry Hux? Was that what she wanted to talk to Kylo about yesterday when she came to the room? You wonder.

“Congratulations,” You look to the Princess then to General Hux.

“Thank you, Lady Ren,” Princess Alabassa further surprises you by addressing you formally. Kylo must have talked her about her lack of formality. He did promise to and you are glad he kept it.

“When will you two marry?” You are curious.

“We will marry on Coruscant. My parents will actually be there on their own diplomatic mission. I would like them to be there,” Princess Albassa answers.

“Oh. Wow. That’s very fast,” You voice your thoughts.

“In these delicate times there is no time to waste,” General Hux replies. You nod to agree though you think this is far too fast. How well do they even know each other and was not Princess Albassa interested in _your_ Kylo?

“I hope you will both attend the ceremony,” the princess invites you and Kylo.

“We will,” Kylo answers for you and him.

“Great. I must go pack. Don’t you need to as well, Armitage?” The princess refers to her fiancé casually. He nods. The two leave.

“Can you believe that?” You ask Kylo still shocked by the news.

“It is surprising. I don’t know how anyone would want to marry let alone be alone with Hux,” Kylo seems disgusted, “But Princess Albassa has made her decision.”

“It is a very hurried one.”

“Yes. But General Hux made a very convincing proposal. That is why she was trying to come find me yesterday. She wanted to discuss it with me. As we were occupied, she decided to accept, or so she told me today,” Kylo shares.

“Oh…”

“I guess you were wrong about her liking me,” Kylo points out the opinion you have held.

“Oh, no. She likes you. But I guess she is settling for second best as I already have you.” You know you have the best in the First Order. Kylo exhale not displeased.

“Let’s go pack, sweetheart,” Kylo starts to walk. You hold onto his arm.

“Right. So, when were you going to tell me that we were to go to Coruscant?” You bring up his lack of communication.

“I learned of it just before the meeting. But it will be good. We will be able to purchase some items for the children and nursery,” the father-to-be brings up the opportunity in this upcoming journey. You beam at the idea of baby shopping with Kylo just like other normal parents-to-be.

“I can’t wait!”


	87. A Day on Coruscant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darling readers! Thank you for you patience, comments and kudos. I have been busy but I am back to a semi-regular schedule. I hope you are all well. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 87

There were two things you had to do before you left for Coruscant. First, You and Ben had to visit Dr. Ryza. You had to make sure both you and the twins were healthy enough for travel. Receiving an affirmative pleases all. You asked Kylo to step out of the room while you discuss your bowel movements.

“Are you having problems in the bathroom?” Dr. Ryza asked concerned after Kylo stepped out.

“Oh no. I just wanted to talk to you privately,” You wave off the worry.

“What did you need to talk about?”

“Well,” You grinned, “Your advice worked. Thank you and thank you for letting me borrow that outfit.”

“I’m glad to hear that and that the old girl still entices men,” She laughed.

“I have had it cleaned. I will have it sent back to you,” You informed her.

“No. You keep it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I really have no use for it. Even if Dopheld ever become intimate, I don’t want to wear what was only meant for Reichner with Dopheld,” Dr. Ryza explained her rejection of the return.

“Dopheld? Are you seeing Lt. Mitaka?” You nearly squealed. The doctor blushed.

“Yes. For a few months now,” She answered.

“That’s great! I hope you too are very happy,” You clasped her hands in yours.

“So far we are.”

Kylo knocked on the door interrupting your girl talk. He had grown concerned and impatient. You left the good doctor and went away with Ben. You had one more task to do.

You called your platoon together though it was late in the night. Each member showed up of course. They would not dare to disobey you. You had news that marked a huge moment in the life of any trooper.

“Platoon TZ, I have received your first real mission. You are all to join the 77th company and go to Ansett Island. Your goal is to take control of it. It should be a pretty simple mission. The inhabitants are known for being docile and will probably submit with just the appearance of an abundance of troopers,” You felt the need to give more details of the place than just the objective.

The troopers nodded but TZ-1719 began to raise her hand. Though it was not typical for troopers to question their leaders, you allowed your trainees to ask about nearly anything. It helped their education after all.

“Yes, TZ-1719.”

“Lady Ren, if Ansett Island is as docile as you say then why send a whole company to overtake it? Would not a couple platoons do?”

“Perhaps, but this is a display of the First Order’s strength. Just sending a few platoons might make the people think they can fight back. They do have some soldiers. With a whole company, they will not. It will better to just overwhelm them. This way you won’t have to actually kill anyone except a few soldiers should they try to fight,” You added the last thought.

“We won’t?” TZ-3424 spoke up.

“No. Again, you might have some soldiers to fight but that’s it. Unless the other people are violent and hostile, there should be no bloodshed. Killing innocent civilians is never the right way. I’d rather throw down my blaster and be considered a traitor than take the lives of innocent people,” You added your opinion. You bit your tongue afterwards because you know that is not what a leader should tell her troopers who are supposed to only follow the First Order’s commands and not their consciences. The First Order never gave a clear statement on its opinion on killing innocent civilians. You do know many of your fellow troopers do not think like you do, like FN-3181.

“But that is just my own opinion,” You had to make sure that is your own personal feeling and not the stance of the First Order. Your troopers accepted your thoughts and asked no more questions. You left them with well wishes for their first mission. You hoped you would see them again soon afterward.

Of course, leaving your platoon made you think of your other rather peaceable trooper FN-2187. The last time you had seen him was when he snuck you the long-distance transmitter. You had hoped you would have seen him when you came back to base. Alas, he was sent off for more training on planets with varying climates. This sort of training takes months. But surely, you will see him after his return. You wonder how he would react to your pregnancy. Hopefully, he will take it positively. You do not know if he knows you are married to Kylo and not just his sex slave…

You do know of someone, however, who is none too pleased with your marriage and pregnancy. It is no surprise to you to sense his negative feelings. He had wanted to be your lover once before his recent reconditioning. Now, he is just one of the many guards assigned to protect the higher up First Order members like yourself. It is strange being on Coruscant with FN-3181 again.

The last time you two were here, you were assigned to stick in the seedy pro-First Order area of the planet and sniff out any Resistance members in the area. You two did. You still do not forget the begging of the man or the cries of his wife and child who were shot and killed by FN-3181. You know because of the area, no one cared about the death of ‘traitors’ but you did deep down. Yet you stayed by FN-3181’s side as was expected of partners.

You are not to be by his side anymore. FN-3181 is to be before you to protect you. Your side’s new companion is Kylo, a far better partner you think.

FN-3181 has been left behind at the First Order safe house with the other troopers. Though they are supposed to be used for protection, they are an eye sore in the rest of Coruscant. Traveling with them makes it obvious who is the First Order. As many senators know that The New Republic is still out when it comes to the First Order, meetings with such leaders are done in secret.

Per the request of the quartet of senators Kylo and General Hux are meeting, the meeting is kept to those six and no more. Being banned from the closed meeting, you and Princess Albassa have been left in the company of each other and set on the task of preparing for the princess and general’s nuptials.

You do not understand why there must be so much effort put into the wedding. Yours was not planned at all. You showed up at the Brother Bracken’s home, bribed him, signed a paper, said your vows and poof! You were married.

Almanians and Zeltrons must have some elaborate customs. Or maybe you and Ben are a rarity. You would not know either way. Weddings are not exactly part of First Order training. 

You offer no opinion on anything you and Princess Albassa have been doing. The bride seems to know exactly what she wants everywhere you two go. It is fortunate as well that Princess Albassa has be nothing but civil today. She has made no backhanded compliments to you or mentioned Kylo at all. You have actually been enjoying your time with her. Maybe she is influencing your emotions a little but you will allow it for now if it means suppressing your feelings of guilt and concern that you will have to watch another death.

You stand in a dress shop with Princess Albassa. You are amazed at the large quantity and fine quality of the gowns. Not since Canto Bight had you seen such elaborate dresses. You stop yourself from touching them as you and Princess Albassa wait for a store attendant to appear.

“Do not worry, Lady Ren, I will not take long here. I already know what sort of dress I want,” Princess Albassa smiles to you. You nod your head in understanding.

“Hello. Welcome. I am Naphtala. How may I help you?” the green Mirialan woman with diamond tattoos under her purple eyes bows her head to the two of you as she greets you.

“I have amount to find a wedding dress here,” Princess Albassa answers.

“May I have you name?” Naphtala raises her head.

“Princess Albassa of Almania,” she answers. The Mirialan’s purple eyes grows with the name.

“Oh, yes! We have been expecting you! Please, follow me!” Naphtala grows excited and leads the princess and you further into the store. You reach an open area near the back of the store. There are two pentagon shaped doors positioned eight feet apart. The wall between them has been changed to be a mirror. Before the mirror, is a large pedestal that can be easily stepped upon. Positioned around the pedestal are a few couches and chairs. You and Princess Albassa are encouraged to sit on one of the couches.

“I will go fetch the dress you requested, your highness,” Naphtala excuses herself.

Princess Albassa turns to you and smiles.

“You know, Lady Ren, I thought today was going to be horrid given your dislike for me but it has been quite nice. Have you changed your mind about being my friend?” the pink one surprises you.

“I agree today has been far nicer than I thought it would have been. Our friendship is something Commander Ren encourages. I do want to please my husband but I do have my concerns about you,” You are honest.

“What sort of concerns?” Princess Albassa tilts her head to the side.

“It is clear to me that you are overly fond of my husband. Despite you being engaged to General Hux, I still think you are interested in Commander Ren. I do not know if I can be friends with someone who desires my husband,” You point out your knowledge of her feelings. Princess Albassa’s lips purse hearing your words. She takes your hands.

“I see. I must have truly confused you, Lady Ren. I _respect_ Commander Ren and admire him. But I hold not romantic affection for him. My heart belongs to Armitage. Ever since he stepped into court on my planet, I have thought of no one else but him,” She claims. There is a genuine tone in her voice and sweet look in her light eyes as she spills the truth of her heart. Yet, you have this feeling, she is not being completely honest.

“I am sorry to have made you think otherwise,” Princess Albassa adds, “So, please, let’s be friends.”

“I have your dress, Princess Albassa. Would you like it try it on?” Naphtala returns with a solid white dress bag.

“Yes. Thank you,” Princess Albassa stands and walks with Naphtala to the right pentagon room. You continue to sit on the couch.

Should you believe Princess Albassa and become her friend? Or should you listen to your gut?

I will be wary but let her think we are friends. Maybe then she will get too comfortable and reveal the truth. You decide.

You see the door of the bride’s room opens. Naphtala steps out first and holds the door open for Albassa to exit. It is all you can do not to drop your jaw at the sight of her.

Earlier she had worn a strapless gold silk dress with origami pleats. Now, she has on a white outfit. It is not what you would call a dress. White tulle forms a choker around her neck. Two pieces of semi-sheer tulle come from the choker and cross then cover her breasts. Even though the tulle is rather opaque you can see pink skin through it and even her some of nipples. The tulle piece cross again in the back then once more in the front at her hips. They connect to a thin band of pearls. The pearls go around her hips. However, at the front they form a ‘v’ that almost shows her entire, hairless mons pubis. From the band of fall emerges a thin tulle skirt that falls to the floor then extends behind her in a train. Naphtala puts a sheer tulle veil in the princess’s dark hair. It does nothing to cover that which the dress does not hide.

“This is perfect!” Princess Albassa turns as she looks at herself in the mirror. You cannot believe that she thinks this is the perfect thing to marry General Hux in but then again it is her choice.

“I’ll take it,” Princess Albassa look to Naphtala.

“Great! When will you need it by?” She inquires.

“I will take it now. I am to be married this evening,” the bride steps down from the pedestal.

“Tonight. Oh my! I will have it wrapped up for you the moment you have it off,” Naphtala promises and takes the princess back into the room.

As they are in the room, the urge to use the lavatory hits you. You stand and begin looking for anything marked as a restroom. You fail to see anything. You are resigned to the possibility that you might have to wait till after you leave the store to find a public restroom.

Princess Albassa leaves the changing room all smiles, as Napthala carries out the white dress bag that has the dress. You go along with the princess who moves toward the front of the store.

“Don’t you think that dress is perfect for me?” Princess Albassa smiles.

“It is unlike anything I have seen before,” You answer vaguely but with a smile so she does not detect your distaste for the “dress”. The bride quickly purchases her dress then you two leave the store.

“We should go right back to the safe house. I have to do my hair, get on my dress and jewelry before the ceremony tonight,” Princess Albassa lists what she has left to do. You know to get back to the safe house will take some time. You are not sure your bladder will be able to make it.

“You go on ahead to the safe house then. I will meet you there.”

“We should go together. Or have you decided not to be my friend again?” She begins to frown.

“It is not that. I just have to run a personal errand. I will see you back at the safe house,” You raise your hand and hail a land speeder. The droid driven speeder stops before you two.

“So, you will be my friend then, Lady Ren?” Princess Albassa will not leave the issue alone.

“I will be,” You agree with a smile to put her at ease. She smiles then gets in the speeder.

“Be careful then, _friend_.”

Princess Albassa and the land speeder take off. You walk alone on the streets. You know there has to be a public restroom somewhere close.

You are relieved when you pass a shop and looking through the glass you see a door marked ‘bathroom’. You enter inside and start for the door.

“Welcome, customer. How may I help you?” A bronze and red protocol droid gets in your way.

“I just need to use your restroom,” You try to pass but the droid.

“I am sorry but according to our store policy, the restroom is only for paying customers,” The droid cuts you off from your destination again. You roll your eyes. You suppose you should follow the store policy yet you feel your bladder might burst.

“Fine, I’ll buy…” You start to look around the shop. You notice the store is filled with toys, cradles, prams, and clothing for infants and younglings. You are surprised at your luck at entering this establishment. You will want to take your time here. But you need to pee.

“If I let you hold on to my credits card and promise to buy something, may I use the bathroom then shop?” You ask pulling out the card from the pocket in your dress that does not lead to your lightsaber.

“Um...” The droid is unsure. A woman with white curling hair, dark skin, a round face and plumb body comes out from a door. She smiles showing off two large front teeth and cheery brown eyes.

“Welcome. Is my droid helping you?” She asks.

“She has informed me of your restroom policy. I need to use the bathroom before I shop. I am willing to leave my card with you while I am the restroom as a sign of good faith. Your droid seems to still be processing the approval on this though,” You explain.

“Oh goodness! You may absolutely use the bathroom. There is no need to have us hold your card. Please, use it,” The woman gesture for you to go. You thank her and quickly go to the restroom. Once your needs are met, you go back into the store. You look around it adoring all of the items there. You pick up several items of clothing and imagine what you babes might look like in such attire. You imagine rocking the children to sleep in the cradles, taking the children for long walks with Ben in the hover prams, and playing on the floor with the toys. You want to buy up the whole store but that would be too expensive and rather wasteful as you could not possibly use all of it.

Ben might want to come shop with me for items. He may know what is actually practical for them as well. He has more experience in this than I do. But I must buy something. I promised the woman and the droid that I would. You think.

There is a chime as the door to the shop opens. Even standing near the back of the store you hear the droid greet the new customer in the same matter she did you.

You look at the shelves before you instead of listening or another voice to speak. You smile seeing the scores of stuffed creatures on them. They are darling but one stands out among the rest. You reach out and grab a white, fluffy version of a Wampa. Looking at the far from fearsome beast, your mind returns to the icy planet, the terrifying creatures, and then the wonderful incident that sent you and Ben beyond the point of no return.

You must get the Wampa. You can use it to tell your children of your adventure with their father. You will leave out the exchange of your virginities, of course.

You start to walk when you stop again. You see a brown creature with long hair. You know exactly who it reminds you of. You smile. You could get this one too. It will help when you tell the children about their grandfather as this would serve to be the model for Han’s best friend and co-pilot Chewbacca. You stop before you grab it. How would Ben feel about getting the Wookie? Would he think it cute or would he be upset because it reminds him of his painful past?

You put your hand back on the Wampa that your other hand holds. You will wait on the Wookie. You will just get the Wampa. You start for the register. You stop behind a row of shelves as you see who the other guest of the store is. You nearly lose your breath.

In a plain maroon wool dress with a satin black coat with a high and rather pointed collar, an older woman with mostly gray but still somewhat brown hair twisted up in a halo braid stands looking at the baby books. Though you can see only part of her face you know who she is. You know exactly who she is. You walk around the row in front of you to see her just a bit better. You stay silent though. You do not want to disturb her.

As the woman begins to set the book down, she stops and stiffens like a statue. You know she must have sensed you. She did freeze despite you not making a single sound.

In the faintest of whispers, you hear her say,

“Ben?”


	88. An Honest Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 88

“Ben?” You were barely able to hear it but you did.

The woman turns revealing her face to you. You were right. This woman is Ben’s mother. She is older than she had been in the visions but she is still beautiful. There is hope in her soft brown eyes. They are like Ben’s and like her mother’s. The slightest upturn of the corners of her mouth give away the joy in her heart should _her_ Ben be there. You wonder, does she sense Ben’s force in the children inside of you?

Her eyes land on you and the hope leaves her eyes. But she still smiles even though it is one of politeness toward a stranger. You approach her immediately.

“Are you Princess Leia?” You ask without even greeting her.

“Um…Yes, though I have not been referred to in that way in a long time,” She confirms.

“Oh, right. It’s Senator Organa now, correct?” You remember her newer formal title.

“Yes. And you are?”

“I’m-” You cannot say ‘Lady Ren’ or she will know you are First Order, “Meia. I’m a friend of your husband’s.”

“My husband?”

“Yes. Han Solo.”

Mentioning his name, you see her tensing up. You begin to fear that she is not pleased with this connection.

“You’re friends?” She says the last word as if it were not true. “I hope you have not come to me to press for money on his debts. His financial problems are his own and will not-”

“No. No. No. I am not that sort of ‘friend’. I am a real friend. I mean he even gave me his own personal transmitter code so we could stay in contact, see?” You open one of your bracelets to show her the code inside so you can prove you are not one of the many who Han owes. Her large brown eyes reads the code and double inside.

“He gave this to you?” She seems confused.

“Yes, when he gave me these bracelets to help with my morning sickness,” You close the bracelet and smile to yourself recalling when Han gave you this present. You miss him. Leia stands rather dumbfounded.

“Han gave you these inscribed bracelets to help with your morning sickness and to keep in contact with him?” She repeats the situation while trying to process it.

“Yes. He was very invested in my pregnancy,” You sort of chuckle. Leia does not chuckle or smile.

“Are you here to tell me you are pregnant with my husband’s child?” Leia questions, hurt evident in her voice.

“Ew. No. That’s so gross on so many levels,” You shudder. Leia closes her lips to hold back a laugh. Her lips upturn.

“Ah. I’m sorry,” Leia apologizes still holding back her laugh.

“There is no need to apologize. I am sure my wording must have roused some concern. But Han is concerned for my pregnancy since my husband is someone Han cares about. I know he likes me and all but I’m sure Han could take me or leave me. I mean he did leave me,” You recall in a single breath. He has left you thrice. The first time was at your order, the second because you were not in danger and the third because he was afraid.

“I’m sorry. I do not mean to ramble,” You realize how much you have said.

“It is fine…What is your name again?” Leia realizes she does not remember your name. You still cannot tell her ‘Lady Ren’ as that will give away your alliance with the First Order.

“I’m Meia. Meia So-”

“Here you go, Madam,” The plump woman who runs the shop approaches with a wrapped box in her hand thus interrupting your conversation with the princess turned general. 

“Thank you, Hazelle,” Ben’s mother takes the box.

“Is there anything you would like besides your order?” Hazelle asks.

“No, thank you. This will be enough for the Senator’s grandson,” Leia shakes her head. Hazelle turns to you.

“Would you like me to ring that up for you?” Hazelle asks.

“Um, yes, in a moment, please,” You do not want to stop talking to Leia.

“Welcome, customer. How may I help you?” The droid greets the new guest to the store who has made the bell ring. You look over and see a tall, pale, svelte woman with soft lavender hair cut into a curly bob. Her gray maxi dress with a cowl neck and long sleeve clings to her body.

“Leia, have you got it?” She comes to Leia’s side not noticing you or Hazelle.

“Yes, Amilyn. I was just speaking with one of Han’s friends, Meia So,” Leia incorrectly assumes your surname. Amilyn’s blue eyes turn from the older woman to you. She smiles.

“You know Han?”

“Yes.”

“Huh,” She crosses her arms. “Is he here with you? We could really use his skills.”

“No. I don’t know where he is. I’m just here with my husband for a wedding,” You are not lying.

“Yes. Who is your husband? You mentioned he is someone Han cares about. Perhaps I know him,” Leia recalls your earlier statement. You hesitate to answer. Who knows how Leia will react if you mention her son? Will she be pleased? Will she realize you are First Order? It is something you will risk.

“Ben. His name is Ben Solo,” You give an honest answer. Both Leia and this Amilyn woman are rigid. A coldness emits from them both. Leia loses any friendliness she once had in her face.

“That is a cruel joke,” Leia’s voice is suddenly hoarse. Her eyes are stone but they water.

“I am not joking. I am married to your son, Ben Solo, and these are his children” You put your hands on your stomach.

“How dare you! It is sick to claim such a relation. Get out of our sight!” Amilyn snaps at you.

“I am telling the truth. I married your son on Naboo and I carry his children inside me,” You refuse to give up.

“You’re a liar. Ben Solo does not exist anymore. How the hell could you be his wife and mother his children? Be gone, you venomous bitch!” Amilyn points toward the front door.

“I am not lying! Contact Han. He will confirm everything I have said!” You speak to Leia who has turned her back to you. She looks back at you when you mention Han.

“Get out!” Amilyn grabs you by the back of the neck. She rips the wampa toy from your hand and tosses it to the side as she pushes you toward the door.

“Ask Han! Ask Han!” You yell back to Leia but Amilyn forces you out of the door. She locks the door manually behind you. You turn back and press yourself against the window. You want to convince Leia of the truth. The steel shutters come down and block your view of her. You look down at your feet and shake your head.

She did not believe you. She did not believe you at all. This is not how you wanted your first-time meeting Ben’s mother to go. Now, she must hate you and think you a liar. But you had to be honest with her. She needed to know. You have to hope now that she will contact Han and he will confirm your story. You wonder if you will ever meet Leia again. You hope you do and that she will believe you the next time you see her.

You hail a land speeder and let it drive you toward the safe house. You know you cannot think anymore on this encounter. Ben will detect your sadness and look into your mind. He will be displeased and hurt. You must suppress it. You must focus your mind on other things like General Hux and Princess Albassa’s wedding. You have no part in it but to just be there but it is something to think of instead of Leia.

You arrive to the safe house. As you begin to exit the speeder. FN-3181 and FN-2198 come out. FN-3181 Goes to take your hand to help you out of the land speeder. You accept his help at this time as you were feeling a bit unsteady getting out.

“Thank you, FN-3181,” You thank him directly.

“You’re welcome, Lady Ren,” He lets go of your hand. You walk into the safe house with the troopers behind you. You head to your and Commander Ren’s room. You enter your room and smile seeing your husband even though he still has his helmet on his head. He spins around to see you.

“Where have you been!” He goes to you and grabs your arms.

“I was shopping with Princess Albassa today,” You answer.

“She has been back for over half an hour. Why were you not with her?” He interrogates.

“I had to use the bathroom, so I went in a shop that had one. Then I lost track of time in the store. As you can see, I’m fine. I did not mean to make you worry.”

“You should not have separated from the princess. You cannot be alone on this planet. Understand?” His grip only tightens more.

“I do. I won’t go off alone again,” You promise but find the urgency in his voice frightening. Why is he so concerned?

Kylo sighs and his hold relaxes slightly. 

“You have to be careful. There have been many rebels spotted on Coruscant and once they learn I have a wife; they will seek you out. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” He finally gives his reason. You move out of his hold and go to embrace him. You hold him tightly against you. You guess it is more believable that you are the wife of Kylo Ren and not of Ben Solo. Maybe if you had told Leia ‘Kylo Ren’ instead of Ben she would have wanted to know you more even if it were to taken you and the First Order down. But you cannot dwell on that anymore. You cannot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short but the next will not be!


	89. Verification

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers!   
> Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! I am so thankful for all of you (all over the world not just America). You guys have been such a great support for me. I really am grateful for all the uplifting comments and kudos. You all have been such a great audience. Thank you all for sticking around these past eight months. There is still a lot of story left and I hope you all will stay on this adventure with me!  
> This will be the last chapter posted before my birthday. So if I don't have a quick update after this one, I'm just busy celebrating. Haha.  
> Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 89

Leia sits in her chambers. She still cannot believe what happened at the youngling shop. Leia had gone to get the packaged she ordered for Senator Gallax’s new grandson. She and Amilyn know it is sort of like a bribe to present the senator with a gift for his beloved new grandchild but Senator Gallax’s favor is important. According to Amilyn’s First Order spy, General Hux of the First Order is meeting with many senators like Senator Gallax to convince them to vote to go under the First Order regime. Softening up Gallax to the Resistance instead of the First Order is a must.

Leia alerted the droid and Hazelle to her arrival so she could her package. She decided to look around as she waited. It had been a long time since she had needed to go to a youngling shop and even longer since she had gone for herself.

Just as her mind had begun to think of her estranged son, Leia felt him. She felt Ben. She felt the warmth that only Ben’s presence signaled. It was the warmth she felt once as a tiny spark in her womb that grew as Ben did. At one time his warmth was as powerful as twin suns. It has been many years since she felt that warmth. But she felt it. It was like the tiny spark again. But it was Ben’s spark. Was he in the shop too?

Leia turned and whispered her son’s name. Her eyes search the store hoping for reunion with her long-lost son. Alas, her eyes fell upon a young, pregnant woman. Ben was nowhere. Leia smiled to the woman. Perhaps Leia was just sensing the unborn child in the woman’s stomach. It would possess a great force, Leia could tell.

When the young woman approached, she was surprised at the questioning of her identity and especially that she was referred to as Princess Leia. It had been quite some time since she had been called Princess Leia and not Senator Organa.

Leia’s stomach dropped when the pregnant woman claimed to be Han’s friend. Leia had had her fill of Han’s “friends” showing up and asking her for the money owed them by her husband. The money Han owes could bankrupt every core planet.

“No. No. No. I am not that sort of ‘friend’. I am a real friend. I mean he even gave me his own personal transmitter code so we could stay in contact, see?” She showed you the opened gold bracelet. Leia had once had a bracelet just like the one on the mother-to-be’s wrists. Han had bought her a set after she struggled with morning sickness. But Leia’s did not have a code in hers. Hers had her own private message from Han.

Leia read the code and she knew it was Han’s code. Leia had memorized Han’s code. She could not recall the last time she used it but she had not forgotten his code. But why would Han give it to this girl? Han was not one to give out his contact information. As far as Leia knows only she, Chewie and Lando were given the code. Why would he give it to her?

The woman said that Han wanted to help her with her morning sickness and to keep in contact. It makes no sense to Leia for her husband to care so much about another woman’s ailments and want her contact, especially when this woman is just a “friend”.

“He was very invested in my pregnancy,” The girl was amused. Leia was not. Han’s investment could only mean one thing. This girl was pregnant with his child. All the signs were there. This girl was beautiful and young. She seemed friendly enough. It has been - what? - over a year since Leia last saw Han let alone bedded him. It would make sense that Han would find sexual release with someone else. He is a man after all. They do not have the best track record for fidelity. Still, Leia had hoped he would not have strayed _this far_ from her. How dare this girl come to her and act like a starstruck admirer when she was really her husband’s pregnant mistress?

“Are you here to tell me you are pregnant with my husband’s child?” Leia could not hide the hurt in her voice.

“Ew! No. That’s so gross on so many levels,” The girls had shudder. The statement and reaction were enough to make Leia want to laugh. She wanted to laugh in relief that Han was faithful. She wanted to laugh at this young woman’s mere reaction of disgust at bedding Han. She wanted to laugh at her own overthinking. She controlled herself.

The young woman struggled to control her rambling as she explained her relationship with Han more. Leia did not mind it though. It showed how earnest the girl was.

Leia had barely heard the girl’s name, Meia So, when Hazelle interrupted when Amilyn. Amilyn Holdo always has impeccable timing. But it was perhaps for the best that Amilyn did show up. Leia could not believe what this woman claimed next when asked who her husband was.

“Ben. Ben Solo.”

Leia could not help but feel coldness spread through her. This girl had made her like her just to bring about this horrible answer. There was no way in hell that her son Ben Solo was married to this woman. Leia knew that Ben was no longer Ben. He is Kylo Ren of the First Order. To make such a claim is worse than claiming to be Han’s ‘friend’ out of desire for money or being Han’s mistress. This woman must have learned of Ben from Han or someone and decided to make up this relationship without having all of the facts. This statement is a joke and a cruel one at that.

Leia called her out on it but she answered with an even crueler lie.

“I am not joking. I am married to your son, Ben Solo, and these are his children.”

Amilyn stood of for Leia then. But this girl would not relent.

“I am telling the truth. I married your son on Naboo and I carry his children inside me.”

Amilyn once again stood up for Leia who turned away. Leia could not believe these claims. Her son had been on Naboo and married this girl? There was no way. Her son had not been to Naboo since he was a child. Someone would have surely said something to her about Kylo Ren or the First Order showing up on Naboo. The Naberries would have told her.

“I’m not lying! Contact Han. He will confirm everything I have said!”

Leia looked back at the mention of Han. If Han knew of this, he would have surely told her this as well. Wouldn’t he?

“Ask Han! Ask Han!” The girl was adamant even being pushed out of the door.

“I am so sorry for that girl, Leia. She must be some sick psycho,” Amilyn tried to comfort Leia over the upsetting ordeal. But Leia could not be sure if this girl was just a psycho. She needed answers.

Leia pulls out her personal long-distance transmitter. She slowly types in the code that will reach out to her husband. The easiest way for her to know if this Meia person is who she says is to ask Han. He can quickly deny it all and Leia will know this woman was just a psycho.

Even though Han cannot see her on this type of transmitter, Leia finds herself straightening up and tucking back a loose hair. It has been so long. It is debatable if he will even answer. She holds her breath.

Han laughs as Chewie gives the punchline to his joke. His laughing only stops as he hears the ringing of his transmitter. His heart jumps in his chest.

“Take over, Chewie,” Han jumps up from his pilot seat. He grabs the transmitter and walks further into the ship. He looks at the ringing transmitter. His breathe catches in his throat.

Is it Meia? He wonders. He answers the call.

“Hello?” Leia smiles hearing Han’s deep voice.

“Han,” She breathes out his name. Han’s heart speeds up.

“Leia? Is it you?” His voice cracks in excitement. He clears his throat and blushes at his voice break. Leia’s stomach flutters hearing him say her name.

“Yes. It’s me.”

“Wow. I haven’t heard from you in…” Han cannot remember.

“I know it has been a long while. How are you? How is Chewie?” Leia feels the need to try to catch up.

“I’m fine. Chewie is fine as well. And you? How are you doing?” He leans against the hall wall as he asks.

“I’m fine. Busy as always,” She sighs. There is a silence between the two of them.

“So, why are you calling, sweetheart?” Han asks but then realizes it might sound like he is not pleased with the call when in fact he is more than pleased. “I mean you haven’t called me in a long time.”

“I…I met someone today on Coruscant. She claimed to know you,” Leia begins.

“Oh? What was her name?”

“Meia.”

The transmitter starts to slip from his hand but he catches it.

“Meia?”

“Yes. She said her name was Meia and she knew you. Do you know a Meia?” Leia wants to check this first fact.

“I do. I do know a Meia,” He grins remembering you.

“Oh. And you gave her bracelets that have your transmitter code in it?” She brings up the second fact to check.

“Yes. But don’t worry, sweetheart, you’re the only girl for me,” He teases the possibility that Leia’s questioning is coming from a place of jealousy. Leia rolls her eyes.

“I know,” She makes Han smirk.

“So where did you see Meia? I have not seen her in months. The last I heard she was on Ansion,” Han thinks back to his altercation with the heated Poe Dameron on Batuu.

“I am on Coruscant and she is here as well. I met her in a youngling shop,” Leia gives the location of the meeting.

“A youngling shop? She must be shopping for her twins. How did she look?” Han wonders how large you have grown.

“She looked fine. But, Han, she made some claims to me. Claims that are impossible and hurtful. Holdo was with me and we both could not believe this Meia girl. She begged for me to contact you to verify her lies. I just need you to tell me what is true about her. I need to know if she is a liar or not,” Leia gets to the purpose of her call.

“What did she say?”

“She said she was married to Ben. She said she married him on Naboo and that she is pregnant with his children. These are all lies right? Ben is gone. He’s Kylo Ren now. And Naboo has had no visits from the First Order. And you would know who the father of her children is. You would have told me if it were our resurfaced and changed son. Just confirm for me that this is a delusional lying girl.”

Han swallows. He should have told Leia. He should have told Leia everything long ago when he met Meia and learned of her true relationship with Ben. But he did not. Why did he not?

“Leia, don’t be mad at me…but she’s telling the truth.”

“What?” Leia cannot believe what she is hearing.

“It’s true. All of it. What ever she has told you is true.”

“What do you mean it is true?” Leia stands up from her seat practically outraged.

“Meia is married to Ben. Her twins are his. I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry.” Han apologizes sincerely.

“But-but-but- how did this happen?”

“I’m not sure. Meia was a stormtrooper in the First Order. But she could use the Force so Ben made her his apprentice. Then she got pregnant. She ran off. I met her and smuggled her off of Dantooine. I found out she was pregnant but I didn’t know who by. Then she we got separated on Canto Bight but we met again on Naboo. I found out by her friend that the twins’ father was Kylo Ren therefore Ben. I talked to her about it and she did confirm that Ben was the father. She promised I could be in the twins’ lives and so I left her with my code. Sometime after the Knights of Ren came and took her. She married Ben at some point. I guess on Naboo. Then she was forced back into the First Order. The last time I saw her was on Bonadan. She had been secretly communicating with me on a long-distance transmitter. She begged me to come see her. I did. She wanted me to speak with Ben. I couldn’t. Dammit I couldn’t face Ben no matter how she pleaded with me. I just didn’t know what to say, Leia. He was all dressed up that stupid mask I’ve seen on the First Order propaganda. I was afraid. Then Meia stopped communicating with me. I had to hear from a resistance pilot friend of hers that she was on Ansion for a time with the Knights of Ren. I guess now she is on Coruscant,” Han shares a heavily edited version of his adventure with his daughter-in-law.

Leia sits silently processing everything. The girl was telling the truth? This girl is married to her son and pregnant with her grandchildren? And she left Amilyn cast her out. She rejected her despite the earnestness of the girl.

“Leia, she is a good girl. You should hear the way she talks of Ben. She sees the good still in him. I think she and the twins will be the key to helping him turn away from Snoke,” Han expresses his thoughts.

Leia still sits silently. She is ashamed now for not believing the girl. She should have. It makes sense now that she sensed Ben in her. Her children must have the same force sign as their father. She should have believed the young mother.

“Did you speak more with her? Did she tell you how long she will be on Coruscant?” Han begins to question.

“No. Han, I didn’t believe her. I thought she was…a crazed liar,” Leia confesses.

“Why would someone lie about that?”

“I don’t know. But how was I to know I should be expecting a pregnant daughter-in-law. You have said nothing to me of it and I have not heard anything about the First Order or the Knights of Ren being on Naboo. How could I know she wasn’t lying?” Leia does not want to take the blame.

“I’m sorry I failed to mention it. I know the Naberries will not mention it either. One of them was a witness at the wedding and was ordered to secrecy. I think they do not want to incur the wrath of the First Order by revealing marriage to anyone. I only found out because I pressed the newest bride of the family. But, Leia, try to find her. If you find her maybe you can talk to Ben. He’ll listen to you. He’s always been a Mama’s boy,” Han thinks of the strong attachment the boy had to his mother. Leia knows this but also knows her son listened more to his father.

“I don’t think I will find her. If she is apart of the First Order now…I don’t have a way to contact her. And if I did, I don’t know if she would want to speak with me after how I treated her,” Leia looks down.

“I’m sure she’ll forgive you. Just reach out to her. Don’t you want to have the chance to know our grandchildren? And maybe have Ben back?” Han gives the incentives.

“And you will be back with us?”

Han pauses. He knows what Leia wants. It is what she has wanted since they married. He denied her a consistent and present husband for this long. But he is getting old. He still thirsts for adventure and the unknown but it is being surpassed by his thirst for his family and for his love.

“I will,” Han answers. It is all Leia needed to hear.

A roar from Chewie draws Han’s attention.

“I have to go now. We’re approaching a blockade. Please, find her, Leia. She may be our last hope,” Han charges his wife and ends the transmission.

Leia lowers her transmitter. She regrets her disbelief of the stranger. She could be meeting Ben right now and convincing him to come home and with a wife and twins on the way. She must find this Meia. But how?

“I’m just here with my husband for a wedding.” The little fact the woman gave pops back in Leia’s head.

“Right. I just need to learn what wedding is happening that First Order members are attending. Maybe the little spy can find out for me,” Leia stands with the new plan. She will find her daughter-in-law. She will!


	90. Husband and Wife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments, kudos and birthday wishes! 😊 here is the next chapter! Please enjoy!

# Chapter 90

In preparation for the wedding, you changed from your shopping clothes into some more formal. Sometimes like now you wish you can just do what Ben does and wear the same outfit over and over again as a sort of uniform. Then again you are glad you do not have to as that would be boring.

You slipped on an emerald, long sleeved gown with a cold shoulder neckline. Both the skirt and the top are made from a warm velvet material. You wear comfortable black flats beneath it. Your hair has bene let down for the occasion. You have taken off your bracelets as they just seem to remind you of your altercation with your mother in law. You keep on your Dantari kyber crystals necklace and your ring, of course. You look at yourself in the mirror to make sure you look presentable.

Ben walks behind you and snakes his arms around you. His right hand goes to your stomach while his left goes to your right breast. His hold is tight against you. You feel him growing in his pants. His lips go to your neck.

“I think we should forget the wedding and stay in tonight,” Ben murmurs planting more kisses on your neck.

“Oh? What would we do tonight instead?” You tilt your head so he can kiss your neck more.

“First,” His hand slips into your dress so he can cup your bare breast, “I’m slip off this dress of yours. Then I’d start playing with your breast.”

“Uh huh. Then?”

His fingers pull at your nipple. You bite your lower lip at the sensation. His right-hand ventures away from your stomach and down to where your hidden treasure should be. You feel him rubbing his still covered crotch against your bum. He moves his mouth to your ear. You lock eyes with him in the mirror. His wanton eyes only make your nipples harden more.

“Then, I’d finger your pussy till you are so wet you drip from my fingers. I’d have a taste then you will too. You’d taste how sweet you are,” He brings his right hand up and presses his fingers against your lips.

“Mhm.”

His right hand makes your arms go around his neck one at a time before it goes to your right thigh. You find yourself wishing your dress was out of the way so you could feel his massive hands against your skin.

“I’d lift up this leg as you hold onto me. I’d stick my big, fat cock in your tight pussy. Then we would watch in the mirror how easily I go in and out of you. We’d see just what a perfect match our bodies are. You’d have to watch how sexy your face becomes when you moan my name. You’d see how I cannot help myself from fucking you more and more just to see you make that face. Then you’d watch yourself cum,” Ben describes. Your knees grow weak. You want this idea to play out. You want him to fuck you and you want to watch him fuck you in the mirror.

“Ben…” You labor to say his name in a tone that does not give away your lusty wants.

“Yes?”

You put your arms down and onto his hands.

“We can’t. I want to, the force knows I want to, but we can’t. We have to go to the wedding,” You hate having to deny him.

“No. We could just stay in here all night,” he disagrees.

“Ben,” You step out of his hold easily to your surprise. You turn around to face him. “We have to go. You gave your word and as much as I don’t exactly care to watch Princess Albassa and Hux get married, we should be there. You are Commander Kylo Ren and you have to do as you say.”

Ben rolls his eyes knowing you are right. He sighs.

“Fine.”

You smile at his agreeing. You notice his pants are still tented by his aroused self. He cannot go to the wedding like that.

“We can always do as you said when we return,” You come against him. Your hand goes to his crotch and you rub your hands against the outside of it.

“But I should take care of this first. You can’t go to their wedding hard like this,” You begin walk forward while keeping contact with his crotch. He moves back till his legs hit the bed. You pull down his pants before you make him lie down. You get on the bed and grip him gently. You lick your lips before you allow your self to kiss his tip.

You give him a few pecks before you spread your lips and take in his head. You make your mouth into a tight ‘o’ around the bottom of his head where is meets the shaft. As you keep your firm hold there you let your tongue make a slow circle around the tip. You start clockwise but as you start to go counterclockwise you use the underside of your tongue. Your left hand rubs up and down his shaft while your right begins cupping his balls. You give a soft squeeze eliciting a pleased groan. You release the pressure then apply it again. You run your open palm from his perineum over his testicles over and over. He moans while you do, confirming his enjoyment.

You take your mouth off his head and use your tongue to coat his shaft with your saliva. You bring your mouth down to his balls. You give his balls a few gentle kisses. You begin sucking on a small part of his ball sack before taking a whole ball into your mouth. You keep stroking his cock.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,” He pants. You know you must be doing something right. You try to get the second ball in your mouth but it too much. You just switch balls. You let your right fingers go below to his perineum again. You lightly run your fingers over it before applying some gentle pressure. You feel his precum in your left palm that had gone to rub his tip. He squirms and grunts enjoying the sensations you are making him experience. You release his ball from your mouth and go down. You drag your tongue from his perineum, up and around his balls before all over his cock. You eye him as you are about to take his tip in your mouth. His breaths are labored and glazed eyes give away how much he wants you to take him all the way in your mouth. You smirk. You like this power.

“Take it. Take it all,” He moans out the command.

“Take it all, what?” You make sure your question is said so your warm breath goes on to his dripping head. Your lips make the lightest of touches. He winces. He feels the power you are feeling and your enjoyment over it. He is torn. He wants you to finish the job but he also does not want you knowing how much you are dominating him.

“One little word, my prince. One little word,” You come even closer to his tip. You let your tongue peak out between your lips egging Ben on more.

“I’m not a prince,” He hisses.

“Are you sure? I think only princes are arrogant enough not to command me at a time like this,” You let your left hand squeeze his base. He winces at the pleasurable pain.

“Say it, my prince. Say it,” You right thumb and your right index finger wrap together around above his scrotum and firmly pull down.

“Please, dammit. Please,” He gives in to your demands. You smile. You take him into your mouth. You relax your throat so you can take him deeper. Your gag reflex goes into action causing an ungodly noise to emit from you but the spasm against his cockhead is too much for Ben. You sense he is about to cum. You pull back so his tip is in your mouth. As he begins to cum in your mouth, you pull down on his balls again. He cries out your name.

Ben lays spent on the bed. You sit up having yet to swallow. You see his eyes are on your face. You gulp rather dramatically then smirk. You love how you have made him a wreck. You get of the bed and slip your hair.

“Make yourself decent, Ben. I’m going to take a last-minute pee,” You walk directly to the bathroom.

* * *

General Hux stands in ceremony hall fourteen of the Coruscant Ceremony Center. The easiest way to blend in with the Coruscant people and draw attention to the First Order is to marry at one of the largest wedding facilities on the planet that will be hosting at least thirty if not forty other wedding at the same time at his.

Hux is not impressed with the gaudiness of the hall. But he says nothing about it. Apparently, his future mother-in-law Queen Katalii decorated the hall in accordance to what she believed her daughter would like.

The seats on either side of the aisle are made of gold and have carvings of the Almanian swan on each of them. The seats are padded with large plush cushions. He assumes the lack of guests that will be attending and he small number of seats needed has prompted for the more obnoxious seats. White tulle is strong the mouths of the swans that are along the main aisle making the few guests who are to attend got to the far side of each row to enter. The middle aisle as a long white, glitter covered runner that sparkles too much thanks to the brightness of the three massive gold and crystal chandeliers that hang from the ceiling.

Behind Hux are two large swans shaped out of Tarisian roses. The once red blossoms have been painted gold as well. The flower’s natural sweet scent has been tarnished with the metallic odor of the paint. Atop the Swan’s heads are large crowns as well.

Hux hates it all. He never wanted such an ostentatious wedding. He never really wanted to get married either but he knew that if he ever did, he wanted it to be small. Maybe just him, his partner, an officiant and a witness. He wanted the bare minimum. They would have gotten married at a court house and that would have been the end of it. He had no need for all this pomp and circumstance. Though he not so secretly adores the praise, admiration and attention at work, he would want something this personal to be private. But it about what he wants. It is about what Princess Albassa wants. So, he gave into her desires. Happy wife means a happy life, right?

The officiant provided by the Coruscant Ceremony Center stands near Hux. He is an amphibious creature with seaweed colored skin and large yellow eyes that extend from angular stalks from either side of his skull. He posses a beak like mouth. It is impossible to hide that he is of the Ishi Tib race. He wears a gray robe that most officiants from the center don for ceremonies. He stands behind a small podium where the legal document meant to bind the couple sits with a pen.

Hux sees in the back rows of the groom side, there sits the lesser officers that came on the command shuttle. On the bride’s side sit some Almanian courtiers and Princess Albassa’s six brothers. Unlike their sister, the brothers possess dark red skin, jet black hair and semi-identical stone faces.

In front of his future brothers-in-law are King Albo and Queen Katalii of Almania. King Albo sits stiff as a board in his gold robe that only makes his pale skin seems even paler. His hair is white and long like his beard. His skin sags with wrinkles. His old lavender eyes are closed for the moment. On his head sits a simple gold circlet crown. He looks entirely different than his wife.

The Zeltron turned queen has the bright red skin her sons have inherited. Her indigo hair has been parted down the middle then collected up into three ascending balls atop each side of her head. A tiny gold tiara rest between the bottom balls. Her golden, strapless dress clings to her bust and torso. However, the dress begin just right above her areolas thus showing off most of her breasts. The skirt of the dress poofs out at her hips and creates a sort of umbrella over her thighs. Underneath the extended poof is a second skirt that clings to her legs till it reaches her knees. There again a skirt creates a dome that goes all the way to the floor.

Hux has to turn his attention from the flashy woman. He looks to his front row. Had his mother not died of Cathor fever, her place would have been there. His father, Commandant Brendol Hux, would have been in the front row as well if the Commandant decided to recognize his bastard so publicly and if Hux had not killed him years ago. In the place of his parents are his technical superiors.

Kylo Ren sits motionless and still in his seat. His helmet hides any expression he might have. Hux wonders if Kylo also finds the whole ceremony décor ridiculous.

Hux eyes you as you sit dutifully next to your husband. Your dress is far more modest and visually pleasing than the queen’s. He knows by the smile on your face that is turned toward Kylo, that you may have some pleasurable plans this evening after the wedding. Hux has his own plans for his wedding night.

The droid set at the organ of the hall this the keys causing a low, attention-grabbing introduction to a song. The guests stand up and turn to look at the large white doors that have separated the room from seeing the bride. They open slowly. Then emerges the bride.

Princess Albassa walks the sparkling aisle with head held high. Her blue hair is mostly down. She braided a piece that goes around her head and across her forehead. She has four more braids. One is styled as a small hoop on the back of her head while to medium hoops sit next to each other on the back of the small hoop. An even larger braid hoop in the center behind the others. Attached from the base of the back hoops is her veil. It falls down her back but has also come around to cover her naked shoulders. She has a tiara made to look like gold Tarisian roses on her head. Her purple eyes are lines with gold eye liner and her lips are painted gold as well. No one can look away from her body though.

How could anyone even look away from her dress? It barely covers anything. Her tulle wraps around her but the sheerness of it still gives away what it underneath. She has painted golden swans on either side of bellybutton with wings that spread up high toward her ribs. The v dip at her mon pubis shows that she has also painted a swan with spread wings there.

Princess Albassa reaches Hux as her wedding march ends. The guests as seated per the motion of the officiant’s hands. Princess Albassa takes Hux’s hand before they both face the Ishi Tib officiant. They walk to the table where their license rests. They both sign their names to show their intention.

You are excited to watch the ceremony proceed. You have never witnessed a real wedding besides your own and even Brother Bracken stated the ceremony was a rushed one. The bride and groom face each other and the officiant begins. You cringe hearing the croakiness of the Ishi Tib’s voice.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for the union of these two persons, General Armitage Hux and Princess Albassa Zufrana Helta Vibrin of Almania. By the signing of this document, these two have shown they intend to enter into the bonds of marriage. What is a marriage? Marriage is the coming together of two souls who want to be intertwined for the rest of their lives. They are two souls who are pledged to endure every hardship and blessing together. That is why marriage should not be entered lightly. It is not for the weak of heart. Marriage is a challenge! Only the bravest should undertake it. These two show great courage and love to come together today in the sight of friends and family,” The officiant’s voice swells at the end of each sentence before growing softer again. A giddiness in you makes you want to laugh at the rather dramatic way the Ishi Tib speaks. You restrain yourself.

“Now before we move to the vows, if there is any reason why these two should not be bound in the most sacred bonds, speak now or never,” The amphibian gives an opportunity to the room. The groom and bride both look back at the crowd to see if any are going to speak. The bride’s eye lingers on the commander in the front for more than a second but no one notices this.

“Very well then,” the ceremony leader clears his throat. “General Hux you may begin with your vows.”

The redhead faces his bride. He looks deeply into her purple eyes as a groom should. He takes a breath then recites the words.

“I willingly give myself solely to you. I promise to give my protection, my respect, my comfort and my love to you. Whether together or apart, we are one. Only death can part us.”

Hearing the words are strange for you. When Ben pledged himself to you even unto death, his words were firm yet gentle. He meant his words. Hux says them in a serious tone as if he were giving a presentation. Then again you are not sure if you have heard Hux speak gently.

“Princess,” the officiant turns to the bride. She smiles as she looks to the groom who holds a soft smile.

“I willingly give myself solely to you. I promise to give my protection, my respect, my comfort and my love to you. Whether together or apart, we are one. Only death can part us,” she promises loudly enough for the people in the back of the hall to hear.

“Queen Katalii, you may present the rings. It should be noted that these rings were forged on Almania as a gift from the bride’s parents.”

The queen approaches with her palms open and flat. On them rest two rings. One is simple gold band. The other holds a large diamond that’s size is comparable to the size of the Calamari’s flan. You cannot believe the size. Your finger might break with such weight. Hux grabs the huge diamond ring as Princess Albassa grabs the simple gold band.

“Repeat after me. This ring is a symbol of my fidelity and love,” the green one starts.

“This ring is a symbol of my fidelity and love,” the couple repeats. They slip the rings on the other’s fingers.

You look down at your ring. You smile. It has no flashy diamond and it is not made of gold but it is still the symbol of Ben’s love and fidelity to you. It is the symbol that his life is yours as well.

“By the power vested in me. I pronounce you, husband and wife.” The ceremony is almost finished. Hux stands still holding his beautiful wife’s hands.

“You’re supposed to kiss me now,” the princess whispers.

“Right.” Hux leans and presses his lips on hers quickly. A cheer rises from the Almanians. You and the other members of the First Order clap. Kylo does not.

When Hux pulls away from his wife’s lips there is gold residue on his lips. It does not matter though. He allows his new wife to take his arm and strut on the aisle. They leave the hall and their guests. The queen and king go to sign the license as does the officiant.

“What happens now?” You whisper to Kylo. You know what you two right after your wedding.

“Hux and Princess Albassa will go to consummate their marriage. I will speak with King Albo before we can leave to return to our own place,” Kylo explains the plans for the evening. You nod.

You totally forgot that Hux and the princess were going to have to fuck. You cannot imagine it. You do not want to imagine it.


	91. Consummated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, dear Readers! Thanks for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 91

As per his bride’s request, Hux reserved a room at one of the luxurious hotels on Coruscant. He used the alias Arae Sloane to preserve his privacy. The room is spectacular. It sits near the top of the hotel. The outer wall is entirely glass and overlooks the shining city planet. There are large black drapes on one side of the window that can easily cover the window with a simple tug of a rope.

The floors are a white marble and the walls that are a soft ecru. The ceiling is vaulted to hold a crystal chandelier. A low table with two low seated chairs is near a fireplace. On the table are to glasses and a bottle of Merenzane Gold.

There is an emperor sized bed with silver silk sheets and large silk covered pillows. At the foot of the bed is a bench that doubles as a shoe rack. On the wall where the bed is pressed, are two doors. One leads to the lavatory while the other leads to a closet.

Hux already arranged with the hotel to have one of his fresh uniforms stored in the closet and one of the princess’s dresses. There is no need for them to wear their old clothes the next day.

“Would you like a glass?” Hux asks his bride.

“Sure,” She nods. He walks to the table to open the liquor as Albassa takes off her veil and lays it on the bench before the bed. She walks to the window. With glasses poured, Hux comes to his wife’s side. He presents her with a glass.

“Thank you,” She takes it and begins to sip. Hux also begins to drink while over looking the city.

“It is a beautiful planet. I am glad we were married here,” Albassa does not look from the city.

“Yes, it is. Let’s hope it stays this way,” Hux takes another sip.

“Why would it not?” Albassa only turns her eyes to her husband.

“If Coruscant does not submit to the First Order, then when the times comes it will be destroyed,” Hux answers then turns to his wife with a not-so comforting smile, “It is a good thing your planet submitted.”

“What would have happened had we not?” Albassa tilts her head to the side and bats her eyes to show her innocent curiosity.

“I suppose now that you are my wife, I can tell you. Starkiller Base is the new Deathstar. Once completed, it will be able to destroy multiple planets at one time,” Hux keeps his smile. He puts his finger underneath her chin so her face looks up to his. “When the time comes, you will stand by side as we unleash hell on those who resist the First Order.”

Albassa chuckles darkly as a smirk comes on her face. She wraps her arms around Hux’s neck and presses her body against his. She brings her face close to his.

“I cannot wait for that day, Armitage,” She states then claims his mouth. They drop their glasses of Merenzane gold. They do not care that the glass shatters and he expensive liquid spreads.

Hux’s arms go around his wife and lifts her up so he can carry her from the dangerous glass and to the bed. He throws her on it. She props herself up on her elbows as she watches Hux take off his boots then his shirt. His skin is pale and freckled which is not a surprise to the princess. But she is surprised by his muscles.

Hux reaches beneath Albassa’s skirt and finds the gold shoes she wears. He slips them off before tosses them down with his boots. His grabs the skirt of her wedding gown again. With a firm pull, he rips the skirt away. Albassa yelps as the dress is ripped and her lower body is not fully exposed.

Her long pink legs are close to hide her nether region from Hux’s curious eyes. He pushes down his pants and reveals his own genitalia. He climbs in the bed and grabs the princess’s closed knees.

“No need to hide, princess,” He pushes them apart. He has a clear view of her vagina and the golden swan painted on her mons pubis. He pulls her by her knees toward him. Her lower self presses against his erection. His hands tear away the tulle that had been over her breasts. He ogles the perky pink tits and their pink pebbles. The princess lays flat on her back looking up at Hux with her soft lips parted. Her eyes are large and no longer confident. There is still innocence in them. There is concern in them. The innocence and concern of a virgin are in them. Hux sees this.

Any groom who would be in this position would not hesitate to kiss and explore the body of this exotic beauty. He would take his time. He would struggle between choosing to either kiss her sweet lips or suckle at her breasts. He would make sure his beloved new wife was warmed up and ready before he consummated their love.

The problem is, of course, Hux is not just any groom and Albassa, though a beauty of great renown, is not his beloved. He has no beloved and he has no true care for this woman’s feelings. When he proposed marriage, it was not out of love. No. Love is a luxury that has always been restricted from him. He proposed for less sentimental reasons.

Marrying a princess is no easy feat, especially a successful planet like Almania. Though his father is dead along with several of his childhood tormentors, it is a slap in all of their faces that he, a lowly bastard, has married a legitimate princess. His marriage to her also secured Almania’s allegiance to the First Order.

Marrying Princess Albassa would also upset Kylo. Hux is not blind to the strange friendship between the two. As her husband, Hux would have control over the emotion manipulating princess, not Kylo. He could use her skills for his own use. And it is no secret that the princess is beautiful. Hux likes to think that Kylo shall be sick with envy that Hux gets to fuck the princess instead of him. Hux was honestly surprised that Princess Albassa accepted his proposal. He thought she might reject him but she surprised him. She left for half an hour to think over his proposal but when she came back she accepted him with the confession she was in love with him. Hux did not care if she loved him. But it is important for wives to love their husbands, he supposes. Kylo’s wife loves him. He knows. He has seen how much you love Kylo. If it were you who loved him…

Even with this near-goddess of a virgin completely exposed before him who is waiting to be ravaged and used by him, Hux thinks of you. He finds himself wishing you were on this bed with legs spread, breasts rising and falling with nervous breaths, and a proper fear in your eyes. What he would do to you. He gets even harder thinking about it.

“Armitage,” Albassa put her tentative hand on his arm breaking into his mental fantasy.

“What?”

“I’ve never…made love before so…please, be gentle,” She requests. Hux inhales sharply. Being gentle is not his style. He wants it rough and raw. But it does him no good to upset his new wife. He does wonder if she is lying about her virginity though. She dressed so provocatively at the wedding then again that is a Zeltron custom.

“I’ll be as gentle as I can be,” He takes his cock in hand and rubs the tip as her entrance. She is barely wet but he does not want to take the time to help that. He stick the head in making the princess wince. He keeps pushing ignoring her whimpering. He feels her hymen and breaks through it without warning earning a sharp gasp of pain from Albassa.

“Stop!” She has tears in her eyes. Hux does as she asks despite being annoyed with it. Albassa takes several breaths. Hux looks down and sees some blood getting on the bed sheet.

Housekeeping will not be pleased. He thinks to himself instead of what a huge moment this is for his wife.

“You-You can move now,” Albassa allows him. Hux finishes pushing in before pulling back out. He pushes in slowly again. In and out he goes slowly. With her eyes closed, Albassa cannot see how Hux rolls his eyes at her hisses of pain as she tries to adjust to his cock.

Hux closes his eyes to ignore the hisses. He bets if her were fucking you, you would not be hissing. You would be moaning. Oh yes, you would be moaning. He would be moaning too. Your pussy would be tight, warm and wet. It would not let go of him.

Hux opens his eyes and somehow the princess as transformed into you. There are no silly swans painted or gold makeup. It is just you body lying before him. It is your breasts that shake with his slow thrusts. Hux has to taste them.

Hux sucks on your breast and gropes the other. You gasp at his touches. He feels you getting wetter. He moves his hips a little faster. He switches breasts.

“Armitage!” Albassa’s distinctive voice brings Hux out of his fantasy. He knows if he wants to go back to it he will have to keep the princess silent. He puts his mouth on hers. His tongue goes to taste hers. It tastes like Merenzane gold.

Albassa is you again. He grabs your hips and lifts them up. He hits deep inside making you moan in his mouth. He grins in the tongue-y kiss. Your hands grabs at his shoulders. He pulls back from you to see your swollen lips. You has to stop himself from frowning when it is Albassa’s face there.

This won’t do. He thinks. He sits up and pulls out.

“Turn over,” he orders. Albassa blinks but will not protest. She turns over so she is on all fours.

“Like this?” She asks.

“Yes,” He pushes back inside. He grips her hips hard and slams himself inside. She bites her lower lip trying to handle the new angle and depth he reaches. Hux closes his eyes.

Yes. It is you again. You are on your hands and knees like a dog in heat begging for him to keep fucking you.

He stares at your ass. He brings his right hand to the cheek and squeezes. He pulls it some to the side to expose your asshole.

He knows you have done anal with Kylo. So, this will be fine.

Hux sticks his thumb into the hole. You cry out at the intrusion. He does not listen. He just moves it around in a circular motion as he keeps rocking his hips forward into you.

“Armi-” Albassa tries to look back at her husband. His hand leaves her ass and grabs one of her braided hoops. He makes her face forward. He leans over her and pushes her head down so it is pressed into the bed. His left hand goes around her hips and down so his fingers and tease her clit.

Hux feels your nub stiffen to his touch. He lets go of your head that stays against the bed. His mouth goes to the back of your neck. He sucks and nibbles. He is going to mark you. He is going to mark you like an animal. He is a wolf and you are his bitch. You clutch the sheets beneath you as your walls clench around him. He knows you are going to cum. You are going to cum for him, for him alone. You are cumming for Armitage Hux.

Hux stops laying on your back and releases your neck. He grabs your hips and brings them back as he slams inside you repeatedly. You explode with ecstasy and call out his name.

“Sly!” He grunts and finishes inside. Hux falls on your back panting.

“Sly?” it is not your voice. Hux opens his eyes. You are gone. Albassa is all that is there. He gets off and out of the no longer virgin bride. She grabs the sheets and covers herself. She stares at her husband appalled and shocked.

“Did you call me ‘Sly’?” She asks. Hux blushes. He cannot believe his slip up. He should not let himself get lost in his imaginings.

“No,” He shakes his head.

“Then what did you say?” She crosses her arms.

“I said…slime,” He lies.

“Slime?”

It is not much better than ‘Sly’ but at least it is not another woman’s name.

“Yes. On Arkanis, my home planet, to call out ‘slime’ during sex is the same as saying ‘fuck’ or ‘dank farrik”. I should have warned you. My apologies,” Hux comes up with the definition on the spot.

“Oh…okay…” Albassa is not sure whether or not to believe him. She would like to as it would be better than her husband calling out the name of another woman while he took her virginity. There is a long, awkward silence in the room.

“So…was I…any good?” She asks.

“Oh. Yes. Yes, very good,” Hux nods, “How was I?”

“Oh, very good. I was surprised. I mean, I was told most girls don’t orgasm their first time but you got me there. You really got me there,” She looks down with a little grin. Hux smirks. Even though it was Albassa in his bed and not you, he was glad to know he brought her to pleasure.

“You should go shower,” Hux encourages.

“You don’t want to…you know, go another round?” She asks.

“I’m spent and we have an early morning. Go shower,” He rejects the offer of sex again. Albassa nods and rises from the bed. As she goes to the bathroom, Hux goes to the table where the rest of the alcohol is. He takes a swig.

Albassa turns on the water in the glass shower. She goes to the mirror and looks at the smeared swans on her body. She moves her loose hair and tries to look at the mark on the back of her neck. She looks at her hair and sees how her husband has wrecked the hoops. She takes them down and unbraids them. She goes into the shower to rinse off her paint and make up. She removes the shower head and brings it to her lower half. She washes away Hux’s semen and her virgin blood.

As she showers, Albassa thinks on her first time. She was surprised at the pain. She heard it was painful but she did not think it was going to hurt that much. Armitage was gentle at first but whatever got into him really hurt before it felt better.

“I wonder if he would have been gentle the whole time…” Albassa thinks of the one she truly wanted to take her virginity. She could imagine him taking his time with her. He would have touched her softly and tasted every inch of her before he asked if he could go inside her. At least, Albassa would like to think that.

“Who knows how Kylo really would have been…” Albassa sighs. She puts the showerhead back up. She soaks in the water. But sex with Armitage was not bad. It was just painful but then it became good. It became very good. She could not believe the ecstasy that came over her when made her orgasm. But he ruined it. How could he say _her_ name? He said he did not. His explanation was flimsy.

“It doesn’t matter,” Albassa tells herself. She does not truly care if Armitage is in love with her and thinks only of her during sex. She does not love him and she was wishing for Kylo at many parts during their consummation.

“He’s just a part of the plan. That’s all,” Albassa turns off the water. Then she smirks to herself. Of course, that does not mean she cannot enjoy having sex with Armitage and learning how to fuck. This way when the opportunity arises for her and Kylo to act on their feelings, she will be able to satisfy him. She can show him how much better she is than his wife. Yes, Armitage will serve many purposes for her.


	92. Encouragement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I hope you are not all too stressed over our conniving princess. Have faith in Ben/Kylo. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 92

You merrily sip on your Gatalentan tea and enjoy the warmth and flavor. You exhale and put your cup down on the table in safe house dining area where you sit. Ben has already left for another small, private meeting with a senator. You smile to yourself and think of the previous night.

Ben did exactly what he had wanted to do before the wedding. In front of the mirror, he tore off your dress. His hands hand was at your breast while his other removed your fastened lightsaber. His finger quickly made their way into your pussy. You could barely stand with how he explored your folds and teased your clit. You came almost too easily. Ben liked that though. He pulled out his fingers and hade a taste before he put his fingers in your mouth.

He lost his pants and clothes in a matter of seconds. You put your arms around his neck to hold on but made sure to mess with his hair as you did. He kept his arms around you as he lifted your leg. And just as he said, he stuck his big, fat cock inside of you. Being in front of the mirror you could see how he entered you repeatedly. He grabbed your face.

“Look at yourself,” He ordered. You did. You felt silly with out your face looked so you turned your eyes to look at his reflection. Fuck. He looked so damn sexy with his lips parted, his eyes focused on your body’s reflection, and his hair in disarray.

You looked to your own reflection again. You watched your breasts bounce with his thrusts. You watched him plunder your cunt with his huge cock. You cannot help getting more aroused.

“Ben,” You moaned over and over. You heard him repeating your name as well. He dropped your leg and his hands focused on your hips. You dropped your arms from around his neck. Was good you did for your legs lost themselves for a moment and you stumbled forward. Your breasts and palms ended up pressed against the cool mirror. Your nipples happily hardened more against the cool, smooth texture. Trapped between the mirror and Ben, you closed your eyes and enjoy the entrapment. Ben’s right hand stayed on your hip while his left hand found your left hand. His hand practically swallowed yours but he managed to intertwine his fingers with yours.

“I-I’m going to cum, Ben! Oh, Ben! Make me cum!” You whined. He used your combined hands to wrap around you and pull you make from the mirror. You straightened up and his hand led yours to your clit. You both played with it.

“Watch yourself cum,” He huffed. You did. You watched yourself explode and then him. After coming down, you turned around to look at his face directly. You put your hands on his chest then leaned your head against him as well. His arms went around you to hold you. You looked up to him.

“Ben?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I know,” He chuckled.

“I know you know. But I mean, that my life is yours. I have no way like this ring to show it, so I’m saying it. All of myself and my life is yours. I would die for you,” You felt led to say. He takes your face in his hands.

“You need no symbol for me to know. I know you are all mine and I’m all yours. But I would never let you die for me. If you die, I die.”

“Then I must never die. We will just have to stay alive together forever,” You proposed the impossible.

“Yes. We will have to,” He kissed you. He took you bed. He made love to you at least three more times.

You are tired from it but satisfied. It may have not been your wedding night, but he made love like an eager groom would. Your heart is so full.

You look up from your tea as you hear someone come into the otherwise dining area. Princess Albassa walks in the room. She looks different than last night. She wears a long sleeved, high collared semi-sheer cream muslin dress that passes her feet. There are seven large rows of cerulean fringe that cover the areas meant only for her husband’s eyes. Her indigo hair is loose but flared away from her face. You are surprised by the slightly more modest attire.

“Good morning, Princess Albassa,” You greet her. She comes and sits at your table.

“Good morning, Lady Ren.”

You two stay silent not sure of what to say next.

“Your wedding was beautiful. I have never been to a full wedding ceremony before,” You try to be pleasant. She smiles.

“Thank you. My mother tried to make it as close to an Almanian one as possible. Of course, on Almania we have a huge feast and dancing afterwards. But such a spectacle last night would have drawn too much to the First Order,” Princess Albassa is not upset over why she could not have a reception.

“I see. I hope all last night went as hoped,” You bring your tea to your lips. If you are to play her friend you should ask about such things, right?

The princess’s cheeks become a dark pink. She turns her eyes from you. You sip on your tea.

“In some ways it was better than expected,” She finally answers then her eyes raise up to you, “Lady Ren?”

“Hm?” Your mouth full of tea.

“Were you and Armitage ever lovers?”

You spit out your tea. Luckily most caches in your cup.

“No! Never. Never. Never. Never,” You shake your head as you deny any sort of relationship.

“I had heard rumors that you two were,” Princess Albassa brings up the scuttlebutt she heard around base.

“No. Starkiller Base is full of liars. I have only _ever_ been with Commander Ren. He’s my first and only as I am his,” You want to make it clear your lack of partners and unintentionally reveal Kylo’s lack of past lovers as well.

First and only…Princess Albassa thinks on this. She can hardly believe it. Kylo was a virgin before you and you were too. She had thought for sure that you had been the whore of Starkiller Base as all had painted you and you seduced the also experienced Kylo. It is hard to believe you two were virgins.

“I see.”

“Yes. So, do not worry. General Hux is all yours,” You assure her. She smiles and nods. But she knows he is not. That is not a problem though.

“I’m sorry to have made you feel uncomfortable. I am just trying to get to know my husband better and you as well since you are my new friend,” She reaches across and touches your hand. You want to pull your hand away but you keep it in her hold.

“I understand. Husbands can be…complicated and it takes time to get to know them well. I’m still learning with Commander Ren. Somedays we are so together it is like we are literally in each other’s minds and other days I want to smack him and tell him off. But even when we disagree about anything from what to name the children to First Order matters, we always remember that we love each other and that is what is most important. It would be best for you and General Hux to remember that in your own marriage,” You advise.

“How long have you and Commander Ren been married, again?”

“Um…about three or so months,” You know you have not been married long. The surprise is not hidden in the princess’s purple eyes.

“Oh.” She moves her hand away.

“Yes.”

“But you are about five months pregnant, right?”

“Yeah…” You laugh awkwardly.

“Hm…that makes so much sense now,” Princess Albassa mumbles to herself but you hear her. You know what she must be thinking. Kylo only married you because you got pregnant. But that was not the case. Yes, the pregnancy made the relationship escalate quickly, but Kylo married you because he loved you, loves you. You know that and in the end that is the only person who needs to know that.

“Are you planning on raising your children on StarKiller Base?” She inquires.

“At the beginning but I would like to move to another planet to actually raise the twins. The military base is no place for children.”

“Weren’t you raised on a military base?”

“Yes, so I know exactly how it fucks you up,” You do not mean to snap. The princess does not seem to be offended.

“What planets are you considering?”

“The planet I want has yet to submit to the First Order. Until it does, I have to keep looking,” You answer.

“It better join the First Order then or it may no longer exist at all,” Princess Albassa states. How does she know about the weapon? You wonder but then remember who her husband is now. He must have told her.

“General Hux told you then?” You check.

“Yes. He told me last night. It is a great achievement for the First Order, isn’t it?”

You frown. You hate what the First Order has created. You hate that millions upon millions will be killed for not acquiescing to the First Order. It is cruel.

“It is an achievement alright,” You drink more tea.

“Are you not pleased with the weapon?” Princess Albassa picks up on your dislike.

“As much as I benefit from the First Order succeeding in overtaking the galaxy, I am not supportive of conquering the galaxy through massacres and planetary destruction. If we are to have relative peace in this galaxy, it should be done through diplomacy and showing the good that will come from the First Order’s rule. I understand more than most the effectiveness of using physical force and fear to overtake planets. I also understand that love and kindness are a superior way to keep loyalty. Fear subdues for a time till they fear something more that the first. So, I am not pleased with the weapon,” You answer.

The princess is silent. She stares at you as if your face were a puzzle she is trying to solve.

“I am surprised to hear you say such things, Lady Ren. You sound as if you are sensitive to the ways of the Resistance instead of the ways of the First Order,” Princess Albassa brings up the opposition to the First Order.

“Not wanting intragalactic mass destruction does not mean I am leaning to the ways of the Resistance. There are others in the First Order who prefer to avoid violence like myself while there are others like my husband and yours who want to blow up planets. I know the Resistance gives the portrayal of wanting peace through diplomatic measures, but I know that they are more than prepared to stoop the low depths that we are prepared to stoop to as well. So do not confuse my dislike of the weapon with disloyalty to the First Order.” You make it as clear as you can that you are loyal to the First Order. Deep down you know are not. You are loyal to yourself, your children, and your husband. You do prefer the Resistance’s freedom but until Ben is willing, you are going to stay with the First Order. But Princess Albassa has no need to know this. You do not trust her. The last thing you need is for her to tell Hux you are disloyal, him to tell Supreme Leader Snoke this, and you get executed like Supreme Leader Snoke promised.

Once again, the young wife stares confused at you. It is easy to believe that all top First Order members are pro doing whatever is necessary to take over the galaxy.

“If you are so anti-violence then why did you train a platoon of troopers?

“I am not anti-violence. I use violence a lot. I just don’t like it against innocent people. And I trained my troopers so they can serve, protect, and survive. Troopers are people too not just pawns for Commanders, Generals, and Admirals to play with. They deserve to learn how to do what is right on the battlefield for their physical and mental health and I taught them that.”

“I understand your sympathy to troopers, but you said so yourself that they are the First Order’s and their bodies do not belong to themselves. If they _not_ the First Order’s playthings then why tell them that?”

The princess does as the hard question. She is right. Why humanize the troopers further only to dehumanize them by telling them they are not their own persons? You pause to consider an answer.

“I suppose it is like ourselves now, Princess Albassa. Our minds and bodies are ours yet they are not. We make our own decisions and do what we want to do, yet we do not. I have my own thoughts and desires. But I do not always get to choose what I do. I am my own but I am also my husband’s and my children’s. It is my body yet I am forces to give into my children’s demands. I could choose not to but that would make both of them and myself suffer. The same is with my husband.

Commander Ren often makes decisions for me that I follow. I do not always follow them because I want to follow them, but I do because I know I am his. I surrender my will to his because I know his commands are out of love and to protect me. He too denies his own self to obey me. It is because he is mine and whether he admits it or not, I do have power over him and his decisions.

You will learn that as you continue in your marriage with General Hux. You belong to each other now and you both will submit to the other’s decisions whether or not it is what you want. That is how it is for troopers. We have our own thoughts and desires but we choose to subject ourselves to the orders of our leaders. We do not always want to obey but we trust in the First Order to do what is right for us. We trust the First Order to protect us as we protect it. We are instilled with fear of the Resistance and non-First Order persons. Fear is the biggest driving factor for us to trust the only organization that has taken care of us.

This is why we, as leaders of these people, need to make the right choices for our troopers. We should view them as the human beings they are. We need to stop ingraining fear in them. We could start making them loyal because we are an organization worthy of loyalty. Because we use fear and do not treat them as human beings, we are losing them not just to death but to revolt. And why should they not revolt when they cannot trust us to make the right decisions for them?

It is easy for me submit all of myself and body to my husband because I trust him and I know he cares for me. Also, I know it is my mental choice to do this. I tried to teach my troopers that the First Order cares for them and therefore they should be of the mindset they belong to the First Order but are still in control of their own minds when they are not necessarily in control of their bodies,” You are winded from your rather long monologue. You hope you have made your message clear to her without confusing or boring her.

“You are passionate about this. Have you spoken to your husband on your feelings of how troopers should be treated and trained?”

You have. You mentioned this to Ben after his return when you discussed your troopers’ training with him. He agreed yet he gave his reason as to why he cannot change the ways of training.

“I have before but it is not Commander Ren who is in charge of the troopers and their training. That falls under _your_ husband’s jurisdiction. I doubt General Hux would listen to me about these matters,” You inform her of who is in control.

“I would not be so sure,” Princess Albassa slips. She presses her lips together after speaking.

“Why do you say that?” You furrow your eyebrows.

“I mean, I could present your cause to him. I am his wife now and should have some influence over him, right?” She remembers her role.

“You would do that?” You lean towards her and start to smile. If she could get Hux to change the ways things are done then you would be so grateful. The smiles seeing your reaction.

“I _could_ do it. We are _friends_ after all.” The princess is in power now. “Of course, it might be a difficult discussion for me to have with my husband. I would hope it would not cause a rift between us so early in our marriage.”

“I understand but I would be greatly appreciative, _friend_.” You take her hand this time.

“Perhaps some encouragement would help me speak to him,” The princess is making it obvious she wants something in return for her voice.

“What of sort of encouragement?” You take your hand away.

“Oh, nothing major,” She laughs and waves her hand as if she is trying to wave your worries away, “Just a meal. I have been craving some icefish and Ramorean capanata. There is a restaurant around here that serves the dish.”

“And you want me to pay?” You conclude.

“It might help encourage me,” She giggles. You suppose there is no harm in paying for a meal in exchange for the help of your troopers. They are more important than money.


	93. Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the kudos and comments! Please enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 93

The restaurant Princess Albassa has chosen is a roof top one atop a tower that overlooks the city. Droids act as the waitstaff. You sip on water while Princess Albassa tastes her sunfruit liquor. She quickly ordered her desired ice fish and Ramorean capanata while you stuck to baked cushnip and fral as it is something you know. As you wait for the food, you sit enjoying the view of the city.

“Excuse me. I have to use the bathroom,” Princess Albassa excuses herself from the table. You are pleased with her leaving the table as you can have a break from her company. You keep your eyes on the city.

“Oh! Excuse me!” You feel some bump into you and grasp your shoulder and table to keep from falling over. You see is it a skinny, pale girl with blondish hair tied up into twin buns. She apologizes and walks away before you can notice any more about her. You look to the table. A folded piece of paper is there.

“Oh, miss, you-” You turn around holding the paper up but the young woman is gone. You look at the paper and see ‘Meia’ is written on it. You know the bump was no accident. You look to make sure Princess Albassa is no back yet. You open the paper.

_Meet me in the Coruscant Museum of Art at two o’clock. -L_

You swallow. Is ‘L’ for Leia? Has she learned the truth and wants to see you? You fold the note and put in the hole-less pocket of your dress. Princess Albassa returns from the restroom.

“Oh, good. The food is coming,” Princess Albassa sees the droid waiter coming. The food is presented and placed before you both. You take a bite of you cushnip. You should be thinking on the deliciousness of the food or how Princess Albassa should be preparing to talk to Hux. But your mind is on how you are going to get to the museum. You would leave Princess Albassa but Ben said to not be alone in the city. You cannot have Princess Albassa see you meet with Leia. She will know who Leia is and she will tell or worse blackmail you. What she will want form you, you do not know but you do not want to risk it.

“Lady Ren, do you mind terribly if after lunch, you return to the safe house alone? I want to meet my mother before she returns to Almania,” Princess Albassa gives you your out. Surely, Ben cannot be upset with you when it is Princess Albassa who is leaving you alone.

“I suppose I could do that,” You act as if it will be challenge.

“Thank you.”

You two finish your meals then part ways. You watch her get in a droid driven land speeder and got east. You hail one for yourself. You should head south but instead you direct the droid to take you to the museum which you learn is west.

You cautiously exit the land speeder when you reach the slate stone building. There are rows of stone steps that lead to a flat roofed building supported by large pillars. You ascend the stairs to the massive obsidian doors that are opened to you by a droid attendant. You pay a small fee to an attendant near the door who then allows you to proceed into the museum with a pamphlet in your hand to tell you of the various exhibits.

You walk around barely able to take in the art as your eyes are searching for your mother-in-law. At least you hope it is Leia who is trying to meet you. You are not sure what time it is since you have not clock near you. However, you are tired. You take a seat in a bench against a wall. As you sit, you close your eyes.

This particular room is rather silent. It is nice. It almost makes you want to fall asleep. The sound of approaching footsteps and their sudden stop makes you open your eyes. Before you is your mother-in-law. She is radiant with toe reaching, emerald sheath dress and cream, sleeveless over coat. Her hair is set in two small braided buns on the side of her head while the rest of her hair is left in a long braid to go down her back. She has a particularly large ruby on a silver bracelet around her wrist. There is no one else in this room but you two.

“Meia,” She calls you. You stand up.

“Senator Organa,” You user formal title with her.

“I spoke with Han,” She states.

“How is he?” You ask genuinely curious about his well-being.

“He is well. He also was very informative. He told me of your past and who are to us,” Leia pauses, “I am sorry that I did not believe you. But it was startling to have a stranger claim to be married to my son.”

“I understand. I did not mean to blurt it all to you the way I did. I was so excited and did not want us to part as strangers,” You take some blame. She smiles softly.

“I am glad you did not forgo meeting me today because of my actions. I do not want to be strangers.”

“I am glad to hear that.”

Leia’s eyes go to your protruding stomach.

“You are pregnant, correct?”

“Yes. Twins. I hear they run in your family,” You show you have some knowledge of her family.

“They do. My brother and I were twins. How far along are you?”

“Twenty-one weeks. We had an anatomy scan last week and learned their genders,” You rub your stomach as if you were touching your children.

“Oh. That’s exciting. Are you willing share the report?

“Of course! We are having a son and daughter,” You grin proudly. Leia’s eyes well up but she does not let any tears fall.

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yes. Ben and I are very excited. We’ve picked out names and we plan to shop around here to get supplies for a nursery while we are here,” You gush out your plans.

“Was that why you were in the youngling shop then?

“Yes. I was going to make one purchase then come back with Ben.”

“Ah.”

“Of course, after our interaction, I did not mention the shop to Ben.”

“Did you mention meeting me?” She inquires. You shake your head negatively.

“No. It would have upset Ben. I do not like to upset him.”

“I suppose meeting the woman he hates most would upset him,” Leia swallows assuming her son’s feelings.

“No,” You touch her arm, “Ben loves you. He’s just hurt by you and mad at you.”

“How would you know?” Leia does not mean to snap. You take your hand from her arm.

“Because, I know Ben. I’ve seen into his mind. I’ve been through his past there and I have felt his feelings. He loves you. He loves Han. He loves Chewbacca and whoever that Lando man is. But you all hurt him. You all betrayed him.”

“I never betrayed my son!” Leia claims.

“But you did. You and Han abandoned him when he needed you two the most,” You point out what happened.

“I did not abandon him. I sent him to my brother who could help him with his problems,” Leia defends her actions. You sense her anger growing. She and Ben are so alike. But she has to know what she did. Until she acknowledges what she has done, she will not understand Ben.

“You sent him to a man who cares more about the Jedi way than actually helping his nephew. Ben needed his parents. He needed your and Han’s love and _attention_. He needed _your_ guidance,” You try not to speak too passionately as it might stir her anger more. Your calm voice still stirs her.

“Are you trying to say I did not give him enough love, attention, and guidance? Whenever I had the chance, I was with him as was Han!”

“But Ben was not your priority. You put the New Republic above your son just as Han put his lust for adventure over Ben. I love Han but even knows he did what was wrong,” You are the one getting angry now.

“I was not wrong in giving me all to help build the New Republic. The New Republic affects the entire galaxy. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I wanted to be the doting mother who could always be there to hold her son’s hand but I could not. I had to do my duty to protect the galaxy from falling apart.” She grits her teeth at you. This makes you almost burst.

“Yes, and look at what has happened. Even after all of your years of dedication to building this government and preserving it, the galaxy is on the brink of another war. It is not known to all but _we_ both know it is. And who is it leading your opposition? Your son. Your son whose needs were not as important as everyone else’s,” You glare at her. You both breathe heavily and keep sharp eyes on each other. You see in her angry eyes the tears. You have hurt her and reminded her of her failure in both areas.

“I don’t want to fight with you or hurt you. I want us to be family. I just get very passionate about Ben and since he cannot speak to you or Han himself, I feel I must,” You attempt to smooth things some.

“You love my son very much.” Her voice is low.

“I do. That is why I know that this path he is on is not the right one. But I do not think he will turn from it until our children are born and he is reconciled with you and Han,” You inform her of your belief.

“Do you think it is possible to be reconciled?” Leia tries to hide her anxiousness for it to be a possibility in her voice.

“Yes. If you and Han are willing then I think I could convince Ben to meet and try to mend this relationship. He is very stubborn though. He has let his pain and fear take over him when it comes to you two. When he learned that I was communicating with Han, he destroyed my long-distance transmitter and made me choose between being with him or talking to Han. I chose Ben, of course. I will always choose him. Still, it just gave more insight to his hesitancy to reconnect,” You recall the events.

“He would not meet me willingly now then, would he?”

“No. I do not think he is ready. Like I said, I think the children have to be born first. He is so excited to be a father and from our conversations he knows the First Order is not the environment best for raising our children. I think once we have the twins and move off base, he will be more willing to reconcile,” You explain your thoughts and plans.

“You may be right. Parenthood changes people,” Leia thinks of herself and Han. Though they were much the same as they were before Ben, so much about the changed. Their goals changed some. Yes, as you pointed out she did put the Republic first still but she did so because she wanted her son to be raised in a free galaxy. She also wanted every child in the galaxy to be raised free as well.

“Yes. So, would you be willing to wait a few months more? It will be easier to persuade him then,” You hope she will agree.

“I am willing. Han will be too,” Leia agrees making you smile.

“Thank you.”

“But we must have a way to contact each other,” Leia points out the need.

“Yes.”

Leia reaches into an inner pocket of her coat and pulls out the stuffed Wampa her friend ripped from your hands yesterday. You grin and reach for it.

“My wampa,” You take it from her hands.

“I have my tracking number put over the serial number of this toy. When the time comes that you think Ben will be must pliable, contact me on this,” Leia points out the tiny tag on the stuffed toy. You read the numbers and nod your head.

“I will.” You hold the toy to your chest.

Beep. Beep. Leia’s ruby flashes and makes the beeping noise. She sighs.

“I must go. Be careful, Meia. Protect yourself and Ben. I hope we will see each other soon. May the Force be with you,” She steps forward and places her hands on your face. She has your head tilt down so she can kiss your forehead. She gives you a smile and walks away. You are left alone in the gallery. You look down to the Wampa in your hand. You will have to make sure the Solos reconcile.

You leave the museum and hail a land speeder. As it takes you in the direction of the safe house, you hold the Wampa in your lap and let your eyes look at the passing buildings. A pair of non-droid driven land speeders crash into each other in an intersection. This causes several droid and non-droid land speeders to stop including yours. You sit and wait patiently for traffic to start up again.

As your eyes run over different signs giving away the sort of store they are, you notice one labeled apothecary. It is a strange word to you as it feels ancient. You suppose it is a pharmacy attempting to stand out from its competitors. You start to look away when the door opens to reveal its patron. You immediately recognize the blue-haired, pink-skinned princess. She looks side to side before she finishes exiting the door. Behind her comes her mother.

She met her mother at a fancy pharmacist? You cock your head to the side.

Then behind the mother comes another woman you cannot forget. It is the purple haired woman who was with Leia and threw you out of the youngling shop! You cannot believe it. Princess Albassa is meeting with a Resistance member?


	94. Traitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Like that twist? Haha Thank you for the comments and kudos! I LOVE feedback! It is so encouraging. Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 94

You arrive back at the First Order safe house. You get out of the land speeder and quickly head to your room. Reaching your room, you are glad Ben is not back yet. You put the Wampa on the bed. You wonder if Ben will notice.

But you cannot focus on surprising Ben with the toy. You want to figure out the truth about Princess Albassa. As she is not back at the safe house yet, you decide you have to I’m snoop. You go to the room where Princess Albassa has been staying. You know she has yet to move her belongings in with Hux’s. You can search her things while she is gone to find out why she is meeting with a Resistance member.

As you walk toward the room, you become nervous. What is she returns while you are in her room? How will you be able to explain yourself without revealing that you did not go straight back to the safe house and that you know she met with a Resistance member because you met with Leia? You must have a way to prevent your discovery. You turn back from your destination and head to the open dining area. You see FN-3181 and FN-2198 sitting and eating. They cover their heads and stand when you enter. They salute you.

You look at them both. You know FN-3181 better as he was your partner for years. However, he did try to get you executed when you rejected him. But he has been back to reconditioning. Surely, he knows his place now and will not cause you any harm. You will put him to the test.

“FN-3181, would please, come with me?” You ask. He nods and comes to you. As you two step into the hall, you begin to speak to him.

“I have a feeling that someone is hiding something here. I need you to be my look out while I investigate. I know I can trust you to do this as we were partners for so long and because you have proved time and again to do what Is right for the First Order.” You flatter him. He always did liked to be praised.

“Of course, Lady Ren. I will do whatever you need.”

“Thank you. I will be in Princess Albassa’s room. If she returns while I am still inside, knock once then make sure to get her away so I can get out,” You lay out the plan.

“I understand.”

“Good.”

FN-3181 walks by your side as you go to Princess Alabassa’s room. You reach the door and find it locked. You wave your hand so the Force can open the door and give you entry. You go inside leaving FN-3181 to be your lookout.

Entering the room, you find it looks just like yours and Ben’s except for the large trunk in the middle of the floor that is open and filled with her dresses. There is no better place to start than there.

You carefully and cautiously go through her trunk and put the items back as you found them when you find nothing in it. You move to the other furniture in the room in search of something that will give away her alliance with the Resistance.

Nothing. You find nothing despite searching her closet, bathroom, and all her bedroom furniture. You sigh feeling defeated. You start for the door.

“Wait,” You tell yourself. You know there is one spot you have not checked and it the place you used to love to hide your secrets. You use the force to lift the mattress of the bed. You survey the box spring. But there is nothing. You start to lower the mattress when you notice a tear in the bottom. You reach your hand up and let your fingers go into the mattress.

Small and metal is what you feel. You pull on it till it comes out. You stare at the small circular object. You see the capabilities for projection on one side. You know it is a mini holopad. You look at the bottom of it and you see the symbol no First Order member should have. You lower the mattress down so it looks undisturbed. You press the button on the side of the holopad to see what message is store there.

You see the person on the projector is none other that the woman who had been Leia’s companion, the one who cast you out of the youngling store. You frown seeing her again.

“Princess Albassa, after your wedding night, meet me with your mother near the Resistance safe house. I will give you the Sennari as well as the antidote then. We will also discuss what you have learned from General Hux as well. Oh, and make sure you get Lady Ren out of the safe house and to the Cillia restaurant. That is on General Organa’s orders.,” She gives the instructions. You press the button again making the message end and disappear.

You try to wrap your brain around this information. You did go to the Cillia restaurant earlier and that is where the girl slipped you a note from Leia. So that was planned with Princess Albassa. So Princess Albassa must know you have a connection to the Resistance. Is that why she brought up the weapon today and pointed out how you sound like you support the Resistance? IS she trying to see if you are also a double agent?

“Sennari,” You say the name. You know that Sennari is a poison local to Coruscant. You learned that during training before you were sent to this planet the first time. Sennari is still rare but even rarer is the antidote. Why does she need Sennari and the antidote?

You put the holopad in your pocket. You leave the room. You see FN-3181 is still there.

“Thank you, FN-3181, you may go,” You dismiss him. He leaves you. You return to you room. You sit on the bed and pull out the holopad again. You stare at it.

What do you do now that you have this against the princess? Do you let her know you have this against her and demand to know what she is plotting? Do you question her part with the Resistance? Is she planning to use the Sennari against anyone here in the First Order? Now that you have been mentioned in the message, does she think you a spy? Will she turn on you and try to have you exposed instead of her? Should you just show Ben what you have found and let him deal with the princess? Or should you show Hux because the princess is his wife? No. You cannot go to Hux over Ben. Ben would be displeased that you sought someone else instead of him.

You must make a decision soon on what to do. If she uses this Sennari then who knows what the results will be. Who knows who her intended to poison.

The door slides open and Kylo storms into the room. You stand up with a smile to great him but he grabs you by your upper arms again. Does he know you went off alone?

“Is it true?” He asks with mask still on.

“What? Is what true?”

“Did you order your platoon to thrown down their weapons and defy the direct orders of their admiral on Ansett Island?” Kylo’s voice booms with the filter.

“What?” You can hardly believe what he has stated. Your platoon threw down their weapons and defied direct order from an Admiral?

“On Ansett Island, your platoon and the rest of the 77th company were given orders directly from an admiral. Instead of obeying they threw down their weapons, refused to do their duty and ran away. They are all now traitors to the First Order. The Admiral claims that it was your platoon leader TZ-1719 who first threw down her weapon and then the rest of yours and then the rest of the 77th company.

You look down in disbelief.

“I can’t believe she and they all did that…” You do not understand why TZ-1719 would not do her duty and cause this rebellion. You never told them to disobey order. Except…

“Oh no…” You remember what you said to them before you left.

“What?” Kylo heard your ‘oh no’.

“What were the orders the Admiral gave?” You look back up into Kylo’s mask.

“What does it matter what he ordered?” Kylo does not give you the answer you need to know.

“Because it matters. Tell me what the order was!” You demand to know.

“Something about killing the locals,” Kylo finally answers with the information you need. You step out of his hold.

“I know why they disobeyed,” You walk away from Kylo and toward the desk chair to hold on to it.

“Why?” He follows you.

“Because,” You take a deep breath, “before I left, I told them that I’d rather thrown my weapons and be labeled a traitor than to kill innocent civilians.”

“You said what?” He grabs your shoulder and makes you turn around to face him again.

“I didn’t know they would do as I said! And the Admiral should not have ordered them to kill innocent civilians. That is not the right way to gain the respect, trust and loyalty of the people the First Order wants to control,” You put the blame on the Admiral.

“Troopers are not the ones who get to decide what is the right or wrong way to take over planets. They are to obey without question not betray the First Order because they don’t agree with an order. They are not to think. They are only meant to act!” Kylo makes you want to slap his mask off so you smack his horribly handsome face.

“We are not droids! We have thoughts and feelings!” You yell at him.

“Stop identifying with the fucking troopers! You are not one of them!” He leans closer to your face as if that will intimidate you.

“But I am their voice! The First Order does not listen to them but I have. And I will have the First Order listen to me. We have been raised to ignore our better judgements and to deny ourselves the simplest of joys for the sake of a government that treats us like tissues. And when we cannot suppress ourselves anymore, we are tortured or executed. We live in fear and yet we are called to blindly obey those who are our worst tormentors. We sacrifice our bodies, our innocence, and our minds for the First Order. Yet you and the other leaders don’t care. You all just keep abusing them and forcing them to do that which does not benefit anyone but our monster of a Supreme Leader! I am glad my platoon has betrayed the First Order. I wish they would have turned around and shot the damn Admiral who gave the order!”

“You better watch your mouth! You are speaking like a traitor!” he points his index finger at your face. Your hormones only intensify your anger. You are so sick of the First Order and suppressing yourself.

“I have never betrayed the First Order. By standing up for the troopers, I am trying to help the First Order. Instead of using them for massacres, save them for real battles. When they have defeated the other military or given up what the First Order wants, leave the innocent civilians behind. They can spread the information of the power of the First Order as well as show the First Order will not be a second, shitty Empire that destroys everything. And treat your troopers like people. Lifelong trained soldiers are valuable and not as easy to replace as First Order leaders think. And give troopers an end goal besides fighting to further the First Order. Give an automatic retirement age so the troopers have more desire to fight and survive. They will serve the First Order more passionately when they know they will be allowed to leave and live their own lives after serving. And get rid of the Admirals who lazily order executions like this one at Ansett Island instead of doing their job to make sure the planets are actually secure and ready to be apart of the First Order,” You burst but circle back to the issue of Ansett Island.

“I have already told you that trooper fall under-”

“Under General Hux, I know. But _you_ are second only to the Supreme Leader. _You_ have more power than Hux. Use it,” You urge him. You hear him breathing heavily. He is trying to calm himself. You can tell.

“You are too passionate,” He mutters under his breath. You snort.

“You told me to embrace my passion, right, Master?”

He sighs.

“I did. But I did not intend for that passion to extend to the First Order’s affairs,” He admits. You start to smile.

“But you cannot repeat any of these thoughts to anyone. They will call you a traitor and have everyone including Snoke believe you taught your platoon to defy their leaders.” He grows serious.

“Snoke said he would not be merciful to me again if I did anything that remotely seemed like a betrayal to the First Order,” You look down and shiver remember your meeting with the Supreme Leader. Ben’s body becomes rigid in his anger. He knows this as well.

“He will not hurt you or the children. But we cannot even let him have the opportunity to think he should by allowing it to spread that you support troopers having independent thought. Understand?”

You frown,

“I have already shared this view though,” You remember your morning conversation with Princess Albassa.

“With whom?

“Princess Alabassa. She said she would to Hux about it for me,” You are realizing you possible mistake now.

“I will speak to her then. She will listen to me,” Ben takes on the task. You know the princess will listen to Ben. But Ben should know who he is dealing with now.

“Before you do, there is something I must show you,” You put your hand into your pocket to pull out the holopad you took from the princess’s room. A knock at the door stops you.

“Who is it?” Kylo shouts at the door.

“General Hux.”

Kylo goes to the door and opens it. General Hux stands at the door with FN-3181 and FN-2198. You see FN-2198 has handcuffs in his hands.

“What is going on?” Kylo sees the handcuffs as well.

“Supreme Leader Snoke has contacted me with the order to bring Lady Ren to him for questioning,” General Hux struggles not to smirk.

“What?” You step back.

“The actions of the 77th company were their own. She had nothing to do with that,” Kylo steps between you and the small group.

“The Supreme Leader thinks differently and he has some questions regarding her interactions with Resistance members on this planet,” General Hux brings up the thing you feared other would learn about.

“That is ridiculous. She has not been in contact with anyone,” Kylo keeps defending you.

“Then why was she seen interacting with this known Resistance member?” Hux pulls out his datapad and quickly displays a photo of you at the Cillia with the bun wearing girl who bumped into you. The photo was taken just as her hand is on your shoulder and you are turned to speak to her. It looks like you two are conversing in a friendly manner. It is rather damning.

“She bumped into me while I was lunching with Princess Albassa,” You state.

“My wife has been out all day with her mother. She returned not long ago with her mother who has verified her story before she left,” General Hux has an alibi for his wife. You know Hux will not believe you. If you present the holopad now, it will expose Princess Albassa but also expose your meeting with Leia. You are damned either way.

“I will go before Supreme Leader Snoke, but I will not go in handcuffs,” You looks to the restraints in disgust.

“Very well. Let us go. We can have the droids pack up the trunks that we leave here,” General Hux gives no one a reason to pack.

“You do not have to go before Snoke under these false claims,” Kylo grabs your shoulder.

“No. But I will. I will prove my loyalty to the First Order and to Supreme Leader Snoke,” You decide. You walk forward and go into General Hux’s custody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnnn! I’m sorry to say but my updates might not be back to back to back like they have been the past few days. Work is taking over me again and my writing time is diminishing 😭 but I’ll do my best to update as soon as possible!


	95. Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! I managed to squeeze this chapter out. Thank you for all the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 95

The shuttle ride back to Starkiller Base is perhaps the most uncomfortable ride you have ever had. Not only are pregnant, but the air is so thick with tension that you are about to choke. You are sat up front with Kylo at his insistence. FN-2198 and FN-3181 have their guns ready and aimed at your back should you attempt anything before arriving back at base.

General Hux sits next to his wife. The princess sits with hands in her lap and a sadden look on her face. You noticed when she got on the ship that she wore a necklace she had not when you had gone to eat. The necklace has several vials hanging off them that full with a blue liquid that makes the vials look more like sapphires than vials. Two clear vials sit in the middle of the pretend sapphires. You suspect that the blue vials are the Sennari and the clears ones are the antidotes. You overheard her express her shock and disappointment over my betrayal in a not so quiet whisper to her husband.

“But I suppose it does make sense. She did try to bribe me into talking to you about letting troopers be independent or something like that. I just did not think that she would train her platoon to defy the First Order and that she would rendezvous with Resistance members,” She acted as if she was not the one meeting with that Amilyn woman. You suspect that it was Princess Albassa who took your photo and sent it to Hux.

 _Did you really meet with Resistance members?_ You hear Ben ask in your mind. You surprised at his mental communication. It has been long since you two have conversed this way. You suppose it is the only way to speak without others hearing. It is also good for practicing using the force.

 _I did._ You answer him mentally.

 _You did! Who? Why? How could you? You said you never betrayed the First Order!_ His booms and hurts your head.

 _I did not betray the First Order. I met with one person who asked to meet me. I could not refuse. I revealed nothing about the First Order._ You defend yourself.

 _Who did you meet?_ Ben presses.

_I do not want to say._

_Tell me._ His voice is stern and resolved to know.

_It will only upset you further._

_Was it your precious pilot?_ He has to bring up Poe again.

_No._

_Then who?_

_I’m not telling you._

_Tell me. Tell me now!_ His voice is like a scream in your head.

 _Your mother._ You give into his demand.

Ben goes silent. You cannot gage his reaction as he is under his Kylo helm. You sense his anger and the hints of sadness.

 _I did not tell you because I did not want to hurt you. I met her by chance in store. Then I met her when she contacted me to do so. I wanted to meet your mother, Ben. I wanted to meet the woman who birthed and raised you. The woman you love most._ You try to explain.

 _I do not love her most._ His voice is soft and rather timid.

You hope that this means you are the woman her loves most but you will not push it now.

_Maybe not most but you love her. I feel it._

Ben is silent again.

_She still loves you too._

_Stop._ His voice is not as firm as he would want it to be. _I don’t want to hear that._

_But you need to hear it._

_No._

_Yes, you do. I know you, Ben. And you need to know your mother still loves you. She wants to be with you. She wants us all to be together… I do too. I want it to be us, the twins and your parents. I want us to be a family._

_As long as my parents choose themselves and the Republic first, we will never be a family again. My children will not suffer as afterthoughts. I know **we** will do right by our children but my parents will not. They failed the first time. I will not allow them the chance to fail a second time._ He has regained his vocal strength.

_But are we doing right by our children to deny them the experience of having a more than just parents?_

_No. They only need us._

_But-_

_I think you are so desperate for a larger family because you never had your own. You want so badly to know what is it to have a father and mother that you are feeding off the little attention and interactions they have shown you. You also think because you have seen parts of my life with them that you know them. You do not. You will never know them as I do. They will never be your mother and father. You will never get to have that._

It is like a blast to the chest and stomach to hear the harshness of his words. You know he is right. You have never had parents. You never had a name, love or family. Ben gave you your true name, love and now a family with him and your future children. But he cannot give you the parental experience you were denied. He will also not let you have his parents now to achieve that relationship. You could be furious at him for being selfish for hoarding his parents even though you know better now how they have been. You could be upset with him for calling you out on your transference problem. You are not. He is right. Deep down, you did want Han to be your father and Leia to be your mother. They are not. They are at most your distant in-laws. You will never have parents. Your real ones decided that when they gave you up to the First Order.

Ben calls your name gently. Your mind is open back to him.

_You may never have parents, but you will have a family. You will have me and the twins. Isn’t that enough? Am I enough?_

You stay silent. Is it enough? Is Ben enough for you? Is he enough for you to stay in this organization that may never change and you continue to grow to hate? Is enough to give up on your dream of him reconciling? If he is not then you should no longer stay by his side. You have two options.

First, you take control of the shuttle. You will start with choking the pilots. As the others begin to panic at the unstable ship, Ben will take over as pilot. You will then force choke the others on the ship and attack them with your lightsaber. Ben will try to stop you but he will not hurt because it will hurt the children. You could use this against him and choke him to unconsciousness. You go into the escape pod. You land on any planet and then contact Han to save you.

Second, you could continue to Starkiller Base. You get rid of the evidence against Princess Albassa. You admit to training your platoon to revolt. You lie and say you have been in contact with General Organa and met with her so she could know about Starkiller Base’s secret weapon and the location of the planet. Snoke will kill you but you will be spared the path leading to death and darkness. Your children will be spared from a cruel life as well.

Yes, these are the two ways you can go if Ben is not enough for you.

You look to your husband. Even though he is covered from head to toe in the garb that shows he is another subservient of the First Order and darkness, you feel his light, his warmth. Ben is inside of Kylo. It is the warmth and light you always wanted and needed. Even if you must continue on in this infrastructure of hate and cruel darkness that you despise, you can survive it all with him. Ben is enough. He is more than enough to compensate for this lifestyle. He is more than enough to compensate for never having a parental relationship. He is more than enough.

_Yes, you are. But am I enough for you, Ben?_

_Yes._ He does not even hesitate to answer. He does not even have to think about it.

Your heart flips.

_As we are enough for each other, no more meeting my parents. No more contacting them. Forget them. Think only of us and our future together. You, me, and the twins will be all we need._

_Yes._ You nod your head in agreement.

_So, you must prove to Snoke that you are innocent. You will have to convince him you are not a traitor._

_I’m not a traitor. I will be honest with him and he will have to see that I am still his loyal servant._

_How will you prove it? You went alone to the restaurant -against my direct orders- and met the resistance girl with whom you were photographed then met my mother. He does not forget that you disobeyed his order not to be alone._

_Fist, of all I did not go out alone. Princess Albassa asked me to go eat with her at the restaurant. She went to the bathroom and while she was in there, the girl bumped into me. I am not a hundred percent sure but I believe it was Princess Albassa who took the photo and sent it to Hux. Second, I will tell Snoke whatever he wants about my meeting with Leia. I will just tell him the truth that all we spoke of was you and the twins._

_A hunch and admittance of personal conversation will not be enough to convince Snoke. Your platoon and the 77 th company’s defection also _

_It may not be, but I have the proof I need. Once I show him that, he will have to believe me._

_What proof do you have?_

_You will see._

_Tell me. I am not mood for dramatics._

_I cannot or you will act on your anger and ruin what I need to happen._

_What do you need to-_

_Ben, trust me. I know what I am doing._ You want to reach over and touch him but any sudden movement might make your trigger-happy former partner FN-3181 shoot.

_I do trust you._

You smile so he can see. You hear Princess Albassa cough as to clear her throat though she has nothing to say.

_Ben, whatever you do. Steer clear of Princess Albassa._

_Why?_

_Just trust me._

Ben does not question you anymore. He does not have time as the shuttle has begun to dock in Starkiller Base’s docking bay. You are escorted off the ship by General Hux and the troopers. Kylo walks behind with Princess Albassa next to him. You hate how close she walks to him. But you have no time to be concerned about them. You have to only worry about yourself and the twins.

No one expected your group to arrive so suddenly and so no one is there to greet you all. You like this better. Now no one will see you being brought in for being a “traitor”. You been called that before when you ran away. You were not a traitor though. You were a runaway. That is different. Still it is not a good image for Lady Ren to have.

You, Hux, the two troopers, Kylo and Princess Albassa squeeze into the elevator that will take you to Snoke. Anakin and Haname stir inside of you. You put your stomach on them to calm them. But they do not. You know it is your fault. You too are nervous. You could be totally honest, reveal what you know and still be killed. You hope Snoke will be reasonable.

Reaching the door that separates you from the Supreme Leader, a weighted, dark and ominous spirit comes on you. Your feet fight against you by refusing to move. You forget how to breathe. Your body perspires as your heart races.

Snoke will kill me. He’ll kill me. I feel it even from behind these doors. He is going to kill someone and it will be. Your body starts to tremble.

Ben whispers your name into your mind. You do not look back at him though. You cannot. You are practically paralyzed.

 _Don’t be afraid._ It is not Ben’s voice that speaks to you. You know whose voice it is _. Your path does not end here._

You start to breathe again. He must be right. He of all people would know. He is dead after all.

The doors open. You enter in with the group around you. FN-3181 and FN-2198 step aside and let you and General Hux have full view of the throne sitting Supreme Leader. You swallow and look up to the old man. He looks down at you with a foul scowl.

Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. You tell yourself.

“Come forward, Sly,” Snoke beckons you.

You obey. What else can you do?


	96. Explain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos. I know I have not been responding to comments lately. Sorry. But I have been reading them. You guys have been cracking me up with the names for Princess Albassa. Calabaza, Ambassador, etc. They are so funny. I found some time to do Thai chapter! I hope you all will enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 96

Decrepit yet terrifying, Supreme Leader Snoke sits on his throne. His almost protruding light eyes are focused solely on you as you step forward before him. With a flick of his fingers, the troopers leave the room leaving the two married couples alone in the room with the Supreme Leader.

“Sly. Sly. Sly,” He repeats your name slowly as he shakes his head disgusted.

You bow your head to him and keep your eyes on the floor. You want to show him you are submissive.

“I warned you, Sly. I warned you that any sign of disloyalty would cause your end,” He reminds you of what you already know.

“I know, Supreme Leader,” You look up to him, “But I have not been disloyal. This is all a convoluted plot so that you will lose faith in me, sir.”

“Oh? Is that so?” He raises a bushy gray eyebrow but keeps the rest of his warped face still and unimpressed.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. If you allow to explain, I am sure you will see _I_ am not the traitor,” You hope he will allow you this. 

“Supreme Leader, I have evidence that shows that she is,” General Hux speaks up and holds up his datapad. This draws Snoke’s attention and a hateful glare from Kylo beneath his mask.

“He was not speaking to you, General Hux,” Kylo growls with his hand going to his lightsaber. He is prepared to strike down Hux without a shred of hesitation. You look back to Kylo and shake your head. You will not have Kylo cause any reason for Snoke to think less of his apprentice.

“He has what he thinks is evidence, Supreme Leader. I have nothing to hide so I am not afraid of him showing it to you,” You speak to Snoke. Snoke waves his hand at General Hux to bring his datapad to him. Snoke’s crooked, giant fingers take the small datapad. He looks at what Hux has displayed on the screen.

“Lady Ren, has shown she is disloyal to the First Order and has also allowed her traitorous ideals to be taught to her platoon. The TZ Platoon and the rest of the 77th Company were on Ansett Island and when given direct orders by their Admiral, they disobeyed, laid down their weapons and abandoned the island. Princess Albassa confided in me that Lady Ren had expressed her desire for troopers to be anti-violence and independent in the First Order. This all goes against proper First Order training which Lady Ren knows as she herself was once a trained trooper. She has also been seen with a known Resistance member on Coruscant. That is the picture on the datapad. That is clearly Lady Ren and the Resistance member is a woman named Kaydel Ko Connix. She is known to be close to Princess Leia Organa. Why was Lady Ren meeting with the Princess’s aid? I do not know but it must be to give over First Order information to the Resistance,” General Hux lists accusations and theories. You keep yourself form rolling your eyes.

Snoke looks to you and lowers the datapad. He leans back.

“Explain all of this, Sly,” Snoke is doubtful that you can. But he wants to watch you try. He has always liked watching his lessers struggle.

You take a deep breathe and keep your calm. You have nothing to hide like you said earlier. You are going to come out of this alive. This is not the end of your path. 

“Supreme Leader, may I speak freely as I defend myself?”

“You may,” He allows.

“I have been apart of the First Order my entire life. Even infancy I have been in the First Order. No one else in this room can say the same. I know the First Order’s ways better than anyone else. I know is thrives on the submission of others through the use of force and fear. The First Order is viewed as a great power as are you Supreme Leader. The First Order can be even greater than the Empire. However, having seen the underbelly of this regime, I know there are flaws here. I do believe that having established this much power already, the First Order can now promote a more diplomatic way to overtake the galaxy. Sending scores of troopers to overtake and destroy planets is waste of our resources and troopers when having personal meetings can be more peaceful. It will give the image that the First Order is not a dictatorship that destroys all who dissents. Of course, I understand attacking and subduing those who refuse to join. But killing all civilians as well as the soldiers is overkill. What is the point of ruling a galaxy when there are no people left to rule?” You pose the question. You see Snoke keeps his lips closed and his eyes open and focused on you. He is really listening to you.

“I also think it is harder to keep control over people by just using fear. It starts easy till they become brave or till they fear something more than the First Order. If the First Order establishes control in a way that shows the people it will take care of them and is worthy to be loyal to, then the people will be easier to control. I think this also applies to troopers. Troopers should still be trained and taught to submit to the First Order. But the First Order will have lower percentages of rebelling troopers by establishing the First Order protects, provides and treats them like human beings and not cannon fodder. I did not express any of this to my platoon. I have discussed this Princess Alabassa and Commander Ren. I only expressed this to them as I felt they could have influence on changing trooper training. I know better than to mention this to other troopers. The only thing that could connect me to the rebellion of my platoon and the rest of the 77th company was my expression of disgust I made in passing about how I think it wrong to kill innocent people. The actions of my platoon were not under order of mine. They acted solely on their own. I apologize for their failure,” You bow your head to show your remorse for the platoon.

“Hm…you have grown very…passionate about the ways of the First Order,” Snoke remarks.

“How can I not be, sir? My children are going to be raised under First Order rule. I want the best for my children and therefore the best for the First Order,” You give your reason for your passion on the changes for the First Order.

“Yes…though I do not agree with your methods, I appreciate that you care so deeply about the First Order and our success. But how can you explain away this meeting with the Resistance member?” Snoke brings up Kaydel Ko Connix calmly.

“I did not meet with Kaydel Ko Connix. I was having lunch with Princess Albassa at that restaurant. While the princess was in the restroom, that Resistance woman bumped into me. Whoever took that picture caught it at the moment I noticed her after the bump. I did not speak with her let alone have lunch with her,” You try not to huff in aggravation.

“Is this true, Princess Albassa?” Snoke looks to the pink princess who has been silent this whole time. “Step up as you answer.”

Princess Albassa steps up between you and General Hux. She does not look at you.

“No, Supreme Leader. I was not there. After my wedding night with General Hux, I returned to the safe house, spoke with Lady Ren then I went away with my mother to buy…intimate items for my husband and I,” Princess Albassa claims and makes herself blush like the young bride she is.

“She lies, Supreme Leader. She went with me. She ate icefish with Ramorean capanata and drank sunfruit liquor,” You recall the meal.

“I did not, Supreme Leader. I am allergic to icefish,” Princess Albassa lies even more. You ball your hands into fists. You are going to punch her the next time she lies.

Snoke groans seeing this is turning into a she said-she said.

“I want evidence,” the old supreme leader speaks to both of you.

“Contact my mother. She will vouch for me as will our credits card transactions,” The princess has more back up than you.

“You can also check my credits card transactions to see that I paid for two meals,” You bring up your own monetary actions.

“It will only prove you bought two meals but not that you bought one for me,” Princess Albassa snorts haughtily. She is right though.

“And you have nothing else to prove it is an accident?” Snoke speaks to you about the Connix girl. Princess Albassa looks to you with a smirk as she believes you have nothing else to prove your innocence. You start to smile. This makes the princess’s eyebrows meet.

“I do, Supreme Leader,” You reach into your pocket. You pull out the holopad. You watch as Princess Albassa’s purple eyes triple in size at the sight of the object. General Hux, Kylo and Snoke stare as well.

“I found this Resistance holopad in the mattress of Princess Albassa’s bed. On the back of it is the Alliance Starbird, the symbol of the Resistance,” You show off the symbol to the Supreme Leader. He leans forward to get a better view. He uses the force to retrieve the holopad from your hand.

“That is not mine!” Princess Albassa shouts.

“Silence,” Snoke holds up his hand to the princess. Her lips stick together despite her not wanting them to be closed. Snoke’s finger finds the button that shall play the message.

Sure enough, Amilyn Holdo pops up on the holopad. General Hux, Kylo and Snoke recognize the woman. She is a known threat to the First Order. Princess Albassa’s skin begins to form beads of sweat. You do not watch the message as you have already seen it. Instead you watch Princess Albassa as her stomach drops and the truth about her is revealed. She meets your eyes. Her have tears coming from them as you both know she is terrified and she hates you. You just smile.

“Princess Albassa, after your wedding night, meet me with your mother near the Resistance safe house. I will give you the Sennari as well as the antidote then. We will also discuss what you have learned from General Hux as well. Oh, and make sure you get Lady Ren out of the safe house and to the Cillia restaurant. That is on General Organa’s orders.” The hologram finishes. Snoke presses the button to make the message go away. His eyes as well as the commander and general’s go to the princess. The princess’s hands fly to her neck anxiously.

“Princess Albassa,” Snoke stands up from his throne. You feel it again. You feel Snoke’s urge to kill. At least now it is not toward you.

“Supreme Leader, I-”

“You traitor!” Snoke bellows. She shakes and you see she had tugged at one of her blue vials. You hear the faint ‘tink’ of the vial’s lids hit the floor. You know exactly what she is planning to do. You will not give her the chance.

You smack her hand making her drop the tiny vial. It shatters against the floor spilling the poison out. She glares at you with a snarl.

“You cunt,” she gets the insult out. Your fist flies. Finally, after all this time, you punch her right in her pretty pink face.

Princess Albassa falls into her own husband’s arms. She looks up to him. He is her husband and supposed to protect her. That is what he vowed.

General Hux grabs her arms to restrain her. He looks only to the Supreme Leader. He will not free this woman even if she is his wife.

Snoke descends from his throne. He comes up to the group. He steps up to the princess. He grabs her face and bears his snaggled teeth.

“You will tell me all you have done, you traitorous bitch,” Snoke squeezes her cheeks so hard that there will be bruises. She wants to shake her head but Snoke’s hold is so tight she cannot move her head. Her eyes go beyond Snoke and you to Kylo who has surprisingly stood still this entire time.

‘Help me, Kylo.’ Her eyes cry to him. Unlike the old tales where knights rescue princesses, the leader of the Knights of Ren does not step forward to rescue the princess of Almania.


	97. Memories of a Princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darling readers! Thank you for all the comments and kudos. Your comments have been so funny and expressive! I am so shocked you guys hated the princess. Haha I'm just kidding. I hope you all will enjoy this chapter too!

# Chapter 97

You stand still watching Supreme Leader Snoke clutch Princess Albassa’s face as General Hux restrains her. The poor princess is shaking violently in her fear.

“Let’s see what your mind has been trying to hide,” Snoke gains sickening grin on his face and brings his unfilled hand toward her head. She closes her eyes as she begins to scream. It does nothing to deter Snoke from invading her mind.

Nothing can be kept secret from Snoke now. He is privy to even her most remote memories. He does not need them all. He just needs to see the ones beginning with her connection to the First Order. He just needs to see her journey of betrayal.

The princess sat in her chambers reading as she often did when her mother entered her room. The princess looked up from her reading to acknowledge her mother’s presence.

“My darling, we have a guest this evening that I want you to meet with,” Her mother came and touched her daughter’s shoulder.

“Is it the people from the First Order? I thought that they were to come tomorrow.”

“No. This is a friend of mine,” The queen shook her head. The princess was motioned to follow her mother. They walked side by side till they reached a small door in their palace’s corridor. Entering, the princess caught sight of a tall, fit woman with lilac hair, a pointed long nose and a more modest fashion sense than her and her mother.

“Vice Admiral Holdo, this is my daughter Princess Albassa. Albassa, this is Vice Admiral Holdo of the Resistance,” The queen made the introduction.

“Princess Albassa, I am glad to make your acquaintance. I have heard much about you from your mother,” The Vice Admiral shook the princess’s hand.

“I hope all good,” The princess smiled.

“Yes. I heard you scored highest at your school on Hosnian Prime before retuning home and becoming one of your planet’s lead negotiators in several intragalactic skirmishes. It all very impressive for someone your age,” Holdo praised the princess.

“Thank you.”

“I read your school thesis on maintaining intragalactic peace and the other one about espionage. I thought it very good stuff and showed it to my friend Senator Leia Organa. She also thought you showed great promise,” Holdo brings up the former princess.

“Do you mean Princess Leia?” Princess Albassa grew excited.

“Senator Organa is a sort of role model for Albassa. She met her once as a child and has been starstruck ever since,” The queen laughs and puts her hands on her daughter’s shoulders.

“Yes, I do mean Princess Leia. After reading your paper, observing you from a distance, and receiving account from your mother, we came to see how you love the republic. We believe you would be a great addition to the Resistance. We would like to recruit you to join us,” Vice Admiral lifts up her hand and shows a gold ring with a flat top. She slides it to the side and reveals the Alliance starbird.

“Of course! I would love nothing more than to join! What do you want me to do? Go with you back to Princess Leia?” Princess Albassa jumped on the opportunity to see her hero again.

“Actually…” Holdo exchanged a look with her mother, “We need you to infiltrate the First Order.”

“What?”

“The First Order has been going planet to planet to bring them under their wings. We have no idea how many have given in and we do not know what the First Order is plotting. Your mother alerted us to the First Order’s plan to come to Almania next. During their visit, your mother could convince your father to falsely agree to join Almania to the First Order. But he will add the condition that you join them to learn the First Order ways and help them. You are known negotiator now. Your royal status and abilities due to your Zeltron abilities is something also to be desired by them. If you could use the tactics you wrote of in paper, you could get close to the First Order, learn their secrets, and inform us with the Resistance of them. You would be the Resistance’s greatest asset,” Holdo explained the plan and was not hesitant of vocalizing the importance of this role.

“You want me to be a spy for the Resistance…” The princess paused as she considered the position.

“I know it would be a dangerous and you would be risking your life, but you would be saving the galaxy from living under tyranny again,” Holdo pointed out the reason this was admirable.

“I understand. The galaxy should never live as they did under the Empire. Mother, will I have your blessing to do this?” the princess asked the queen.

“Of course, my darling,” the queen smiled proudly.

Snoke is able to jump to the meeting between the First Order and the princess. The royal court was kept rather empty except for the king, his wife, their children, Kylo Ren and General Hux. The princess’s heart was already turned against the First Order but she sat quietly and listened to General Hux do his speech. Snoek could see everything was going just as Vice Admiral Holdo planned. The king set his terms and they were accepted by Hux and Kylo.

The memories jump forward to the night. There was an ivory table set with a feast. King Albo sat at the head with his wife at the other head. The princes of Almania were sat around while the princess was sat across from the First Order representatives. Kylo was in his full garb. General Hux was dressed in his proper uniform as well. His eyes however could not help glancing to the princess’s rather exposed chest. The princess at the time ignored it. As it was time to eat, Kylo removed his helmet. Snoke feels the instant attraction the princess felt seeing the sculpted face and lush dark locks of the commander. Despite the focus being on this memory, the memory itself jumps to another one.

Snoke is able to see due to the height of her vision, the princess was a child. She was at dinner like this with several adults and few children. She gazing up at Princess Leia. The princess spoke kindly to her as did that smuggler husband of hers, Han Solo. But Snoke sees the reason for this thrust backward in memories, is due to the princess being introduced to the older princess’s young son.

“This is my son,” Princess Leia had introduced the boy with dark curls. He nodded his head to the princess and her heart had fluttered. She stuck close to him during the meal. It was not until the son of the Balosar Senator insulted Princess Leia and Han Solo and Leia’s son force choked him that the princess left his side. She never saw him again. Her memory fast forward back to the dinner on Almania with her family and Commander Ren. Snoke knows she either recognizes Kylo or just thinks of him looking like Princess Leia’s son.

Snoke watches at Princess Albassa spend the rest of the dinner speaking only to Kylo and using her emotions controlling abilities to make him positive toward her. Snoke could roll his eyes at how majority of her memories after the feast are focused on her attraction and interactions with Kylo. Though she is never alone with Kylo, she acts as if they are and does her best to endear herself to him. He is also able to see her sending messages to the resistance while claiming to be speaking with her mother. Snoke listens as the princess spoke to her mother about a plot to infiltrate the First Order even further.

“So, mother, if I can get Kylo to marry me then he will confide in me about even more plans and I can leak it to the Resistance,” the princess plotted.

“That would be very beneficial to our cause. But do you want to go that far? You would have to be his wife in every way. Could you take that emotional and physical burden?” her mother questioned.

“If it is Kylo, then yes. I love him.” The princess admitted.

“You love him?”

“Yes. I do. And I will make sure that he will turn to the Resistance too.”

“I don’t know, darling. It would take a lot for man to change. He is a commander in the First Order. HE would not be likely to-”

“I will make him. I _will_ change his mind. He will not be able to resist me. I will marry him and gain his utmost trust afterward. He will bend to my will just as father bends to yours.”

“Wait. Didn’t you say he mentioned he had a wife?” The queen remembered what the princess wanted to forget.

“Well…yes. He is married but they have been apart for a long while and he hardly mentions her. In fact, I think Armitage mentions the wife more than Kylo. There has to be a problem between them. I just have to make sure the problem worsens and he turns to me for comfort.”

“And what if their problem does not worsen?” the queen brought up the possibility.

“Then I will gain her trust as a friend and then I will do as you did to father’s first wife.”

“What I did was wrong, Albassa. You should not follow me in that way,” Her mother shook her head.

“I will be ridding the galaxy of another First Order operative, Mother. I will only be helping the Resistance if I get rid of who ever this woman is.”

The memories skip to the return of the Finalizer to Starkiller Base. Princess Albassa exited the ship and immediately saw Captain Phasma and an obviously pregnant woman in black. The princess had no idea who this pregnant woman was as she approached her. Snoke could feel that the princess thought nothing of the woman as even Kylo responded to her “Welcome back, Commander.” with a simple “Thank you.” then moved on to have a meeting. It was at the meeting the pregnant woman came in the room.

“Princess Albassa, this is Lady Sly Ren. Lady Ren this is Princess Albassa,” General Hux took it upon himself to introduce the two women. Princess Albassa began to use her abilities in hopes of winning this other Ren person.

“Is this your sister, Kylo?” the princess had looked back to Kylo hoping that was all this woman was.

“I’m his wife.”

Snoke felt the princess’s heart drop. She had not expected Kylo’s wife to be present and to be pregnant. The princess tried to power through but could not stop herself from being a bit passive aggressive. She gained a major dislike for Kylo’s wife when the woman dared to call her “Al- _ass_ -a”. The princess like the wife even less when she returned to the conference room after the meeting hoping to catch Kylo alone. Instead she found the married couple kissing on the table. She knew then she would have to go the route her mother took.

Snoke watches the princess’s memories as they are woven with her leaking of information to the Resistance, her awkward interactions with Lady Ren and her pining moments for Kylo. He also sees the proposal between Hux and the princess. He feels her disgust for Hux.

“I must have some time to think, Armitage,” She spoke so sweetly to him as if she loved and longed for him. She rushed immediately for Kylo’s chambers. Snoke feels the hope she had to speak with Kylo and have him tell her to say “no”. If he told her to say “no” to marrying Hux then she would know that he loved her deep down.

Snoke knows the princess was annoyed and angered to have to speak through the door to Lady Ren when she wanted to see Kylo. It was nothing compared to the embarrassment and heartache she had when the door to the room opened and she saw the man she loves was more than happily fucking his wife. She fled. She accepted Hux’s proposal after speaking with her mother who encouraged her to use Hux instead of Kylo.

Snoke watches as the princess hatches a plan with her mother to be married on Coruscant. There she can meet her mother and other Resistance members. Snoke sees the princess preparing for her wedding when her mother comes to her room at the safe house before they are to leave for the ceremony. It is her mother gives her the holopad with the message Snoke just watched.

Snoke suffers through watching the princess marry Hux. He does take pleasure in watching the wedding night though. He like feeling her pain then he liked feeling her pleasure not that Supreme Leader Snoke would ever enjoy the pleasures of being fucked and orgasming…he is too superior for such ordinary joys.

The Supreme Leader sees the princess and Lady Ren met. He heard the speech Lady Ren gave to the princess. He felt the shock of the princess hearing the almost anti-First Order words. Snoke does not care about the speech as Lady Ren has sadi the same to him and has shown her loyalty in revealing the princess’s betrayal.

Snoke does see that the princess invites Lady Ren to lunch then takes her picture of Lady Ren getting bumped by Kaydel Ko Connix. He sees that the princess left Lady Ren alone then met with her mother and Holdo at an apothecary. Princess Albassa reveals what she learned from Hux. They take their time in the shop as they buy the Sennari and antidote. They place them in vials to make a necklace. The necklace that the princess still wears.

“You will request a dinner with all the leaders including Snoke. It will be to celebrate your union as you were denied a reception on Coruscant. You will poison all drinks. As they die, use the antidote on Kylo Ren then subdue him so you can bring him back to the Resistance,” Holdo gave the mission.

“I am allowed to save him?” Princess Albassa was pleased with this news.

“General Organa would prefer him not to die. She would also prefer for Lady Ren not to die. You cannot poison Lady Ren either as she is pregnant,” Holdo warns the princess.

“Why does General Organa want that bantha too?” the princess pouted.

“You did not hear it from me but…Kylo Ren is General Organan’s son. So, Lady Ren is carrying the senator’s grandchildren. She would prefer nothing happened to them,” Holdo whispered.

“What is she resists?”

“I am sure you can figure something you,” Holdo shrugged.

“What is the First Order kills her before I can take her?” Princess Albassa brought up the possibility and her already put in motion scheme.

“Why would they kill her?” the queen grabbed her daughter’s shoulder.

“She has deserted the First Order before and if she is caught contacting Resistance members then I doubt it will eb taken well by Snoke. You had me lure her to that restaurant so Connix could approach her. If the interaction was seen by the higher ups, they will probably kill her,” the princess explained.

“It would be preferred that she did not die but-” Holdo paused “we cannot control what the First Order does.”

Snoke is able to see the memories that zip by till they reach now. He feels her agony from the mental invasion as well as her terror as she knows she could be killed. She cries out for help from Kylo. Snoke lets go of her pink face leaving large purple bruises on her cheeks.

“I have seen what I needed. You have married a conniving piece of Rebel scum,” Supreme Leader informs General Hux who looks to his wife in disgust.

“She has worked with the Resistance this entire time. She has plotted the deaths of us all, especially that of our Sly,” Snoke continues shaking his head. He walks to you and puts his massive hands on your shoulders as if you were dear to him. Snoke leans down so his lips are by your ear.

“She even framed you against the wishes of her General Organa so that she could steal your husband for herself upon your death,” Snoke reveals this to you. He does this as he knows it makes your blood boil in rage. You knew it! You knew it from the very first time you heard the princess’s voice that she wanted _your_ husband.

Snoke straightens up and removes his hands from your shoulders. He walks in front of you. He comes near the silent but crying princess again.

“You will be executed for your treason, Princess Albassa,” Snoke informs her of what she already knows. Snoke points down. Hux kicks the back of the princess’s knee making her fall to her knees. He holds her by her hair and her arms hang by her side as she has no reason to use them. She cannot defend herself. She has to accept her failure and fate. She still looks to Kylo. 

“Commander Ren,” Snoke looks to Kylo too. He steps forward. Snoke nods and Kylo knows what his Supreme Leader wants from him. He takes his lightsaber in his hands.

“Kylo, please, save me. I love you,” She blubbers. She wants him to save her. She wants him to show her that her love was not a waste. He had to have loved her. He had to…

“I love my wife,” Kylo’s words are more fatal than the strike of his lightsaber through her neck.

The princess’s head is held up by her husband who does not even have shred of sadness for the loss of her. He only laments it is his wife that have proved a traitor and now he could be in trouble for a leak.

Kylo turns off his lightsaber and puts it back on his belt. He steps back next to you. You look to him. Though you hated the woman and with good reason now, you know she was Kylo’s friend. It must not have been easy. You touch his arm. You are pleased though that he clearly stated that he loved you and in front of other people.

“Send in some guards to get rid of your wife’s body, General Hux,” Snoke orders the new widower. He puts the head down and leaves the room.

“Leave me alone with your wife now, Kylo,” Snoke waves at his apprentice.

“Supreme Leader, I trust that you have seen my wife is innocent of her charges,” Kylo does not leave yet. He does not want your fate to be similar to the now dead princess.

“Unlike Princess Albassa,” Snoke gestures to the corpse, “Our Sly faithful and loyal. Do not fear anymore for her.”

Kylo nods and knows he should leave as it was requested by his master. He leaves you alone with Snoke. He has said you are faithful and loyal but the pit of your stomach still does not trust him. With Kylo out of the room you rally have to trust the Supreme Leader who comes close to you again. You almost strain your neck looking up at him. His hand goes and strokes your hair. The touch almost makes you convulse btu you control yourself.

“Sly, do you know for whom you are named?” Snoke surprises you with the question.

“No, sir,” You really do not.

“Do you know of Emperor Palpatine?” He asks an easier question and puts his hands behind his back.

“Yes, sir. I was taught about him in my youth.”

Snoke smiles and his chest puffs out rather arrogantly.

“As you should have been. He was a great and fearsome leader. He is one after whom I model myself. Anyway, when he was rising to power and even after he gained it, he only kept a small circle of trusted allies. Among them was a woman, Sly Moore. She was a unique beauty that hailed from Umbara. She served as the Emperor’s Chief of Staff. She was the closest of all the Emperor’s inner circle. They became lovers. The Emperor trusted her implicitly. Even when those of the inner circle betrayed the Emperor, Sly never did. Even unto her death, she was the most faithful and loyal person to the Emperor,” Snoke gives the history of the woman and the emperor.

“I see.”

“I named you ‘Sly’ after Sly Moore. I gave you the name in the hopes that like her, you will be faithful and loyal to my apprentice and the First Order, even unto death.”

“I understand now, sir. I am honored that you gave me the name of someone of such caliber. I hope that I have and will prove worthy to hold it,” You bow your head to show your humbleness and to not have to look at his face much longer.

“I had my doubts but I regained my faith in you, Sly,” His hand goes under your chin and makes you lift up to look him his smiling face, “You have proven yourself today by not only saving the life of my apprentice but mine as well. You have preserved the First Order.

“I am glad to have exposed that traitor and protected my Supreme Leader, my Master, and the First Order,” You give him a smile.

“You will be rewarded. Ask and I will give you anything you want,” Snoke offers you. The statement is heart stopping.

The Supreme Leader intends to give you whatever you ask for?


	98. The Reward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos. All the comments about your lack of mourning for the princess made me laugh. Please enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 98

Having the Supreme Leader of the First Order offer to give you anything you want is a position many would love to be in yet you panic in this spot. How can you not? Yes, he is offering the chance to have anything you want but he cannot give you what you want. You cannot even ask for what you really want. Doing so would show him your lack of loyalty to him and the First Order. You also cannot make a request on behalf of the troopers as he has already expressed his dislike of your thoughts in that area. When Snoke says “anything” he means “within reason” and “within what I want to give you”. Really, this is a test. It is a final test to see if you are as loyal as he wants you to be.

“I want only to serve you, Supreme Leader, and the First Order,” You bow your head to him again. He smirks.

“That is a good answer, Sly,” He pats your head and removes his hand, “But you may ask for something else.”

You swallow. He saw through that. You lick your lips then look up to him as your hands go to rest on your baby bump.

“Well, Supreme Leader, if you allow me to be so bold as to say what I would like, I will tell you.”

“Tell me, child.”

“I would like permission for my Master and I to be able to raise our children off base after they are born so that they may have a relatively normal childhood. Then once they are old enough and trained in the force, they can be of service,” You add the second part so your request is still for the First Order. You see his chapped lips purse as he considers the request.

“And where is it that you would like to live?”

“Naboo,” it jumps out of your mouth before you can stop it so you have to correct yourself, “would be ideal but until it falls to the First Order, I am unsure of where would be best.”

“Hm…Naboo is an excellent planet that will be a grand addition to the First Order….” He thinks on the planet. You wait to see what else the Supreme Leader will say.

“I suppose I could allow this to proceed. Kylo will still need to come to base often, be in communication with me, and come to me for training,” Snoke brings up the instances that will pull Kylo away from you.

“I understand, sir. The First Order is first.”

“Yes, it is,” He agrees nodding his head. He crosses his arms and stares at you for a moment more.

“As Naboo is still unattached to the First Order, I will allow you and Kylo to live on Enarc. It is close to Naboo in proximity and likeness. It has already surrendered itself to the First Order. It will make a good home,” Snoke surprises you with the appointed planet.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader!” You bow your head with a strong smile.

“I will also allow you and my apprentice time to go and prepare the place for the after birth so there may be a smoother transition,” Snoke shocks you more.

“You are far too kind, Supreme Leader,” You mean it which in itself is astonishing to you. He smiles at your praise and reaction.

“You may go now, Sly. You will want to prepare to go to Enarc with Kylo,” He dismisses you. You leave with a little extra pep in your step. Snoke watches you with a smirk. It is good that you are happy...for now.

Once outside Snoke’s doors, you stop seeing that Kylo has waited outside for you. You smile, run and jump into his arms. He catches you and holds you in his arms before he sets you down. His gloved hand takes yours and leads you into the elevator.

“Why were you still there?” You whisper once inside.

“I feared that he would hurt you anyway,” Kylo squeezes your hand and faces you in the small descending room. “Did he?”

“No. The opposite. He has granted us permission to leave base and prepare a home on Enarc so we may raise our children there,” You beam.

“He did?” Kylo cannot believe his ears.

“Yes. Supreme Leader Snoke wanted to reward me for saving everyone’s lives. He said I could ask for anything so I asked for us to be able to raise our children off base. He granted it. Isn’t it wonderful, Ben?” Both of your hands hold his.

“It is,” Kylo nods his head in agreement. You pause in your happiness as you sense heaviness in your husband. You know what it could be. He just killed his friend. Though you hated the woman, your husband liked her.

The elevator opens on the desired floor. You two leave the elevator and go to your bedroom. There, Ben removes his helmet, gloves and belt that holds his life-ending lightsaber. You notice he keeps his back you as you sit on the bed having removed your shoes from your sore feet. You unstrap your lightsaber from your thigh and let it sit with your shoes. 

It is even more obvious that he is upset. You stand up and go to him. You wrap your arms around him and lay your head against his back. His body tensed for a second at the sudden touch but he softens in your hold.

“I am sorry you had to kill your friend, Ben. I know it must have been hard,” you try to sympathize. Ben turns in your arms and takes your face in your hands.

“ _Anyone_ who tries to hurt you or the twins is my enemy,” Ben makes your heart flutter, “It was easy to kill her once I knew the truth. You were right not to tell me on the ship. I would have killed her then.”

“Aren’t you upset about though? You and she were close,” You do not want him to deny his feelings.

“We were close but I am not upset about killing her. I have killed people I have been close to before and I will probably do it again,” He drops his hands from your face and you let him go. You still keep your body close to his.

“I sense you are upset though. If it is not about killing her then…what?”

“I am upset because I didn’t realize that she was a traitor. I didn’t realize that she was going to try to kill you. I didn’t realize that I should have listened to you all along. Instead I let myself be manipulated by nostalgia and her emotional influence abilities,” Ben diverts his eyes form you angrily.

“Nostalgia?” You cannot understand why he would say that word. He looks back to you.

“I met the princess when I was a child. I recognized her but I don’t know if she recognized me. I don’t know why but I felt…as I had when I was younger. I should not have embraced that feeling. But I did. If I hadn’t then I would not have been blinded to the signs and I would not have downgraded your concerns. You never did trust her, did you?” He explains his relationship to the princess more.

“I never did. It was so obvious to me that she was in love with you. You really didn’t see it?”

“I thought she might be attracted to me and like me but nothing more. I didn’t care about her romantic feelings toward me anyway.”

“You didn’t? You weren’t flattered that another woman found you irresistible?” Your raise an eyebrow.

“No.”

“And you were never tempted even during our horrible time apart to be given into her affections?” You bring up a reason for him to have an affair.

“No.”

“No?”

He puts his arms around you and keeps you close to him.

“No. I was and am still too busy being yours to fall for somebody new,” He makes goosebumps come to your skin. He rests his forehead against yours. You smile at his words.

“And I’m sorry,” He surprises you further with the apology and pulls his head from yours.

“Sorry?”

“Yes. I should have listened to you. I should have noticed the signs of her treachery and protected you from her plot. I am sorry,” He apologizes again. You put your hands on his face and enjoy the smoothness of his cheeks as well at the ability to stare into his contrite eyes.

“All has turned out right, Ben. There is no more need to be upset or sorry. We are fine. We are together. We are safe. And now we are going to have our own home on Enarc. This all has worked out for the best,” You cannot stop your lips from spreading. Ben smiles too.

“I love you,” He is the first to say this time. After his response to Princess Albassa’s love confession, you have heard him express your love to him twice today.

“I know,” You giggle having adopted his typical response to your statements of love.

Ben’s lips take over yours and your hands slide up so that your arms can go around his neck. His hands go the back of your dress and with a single, mighty pull he rips it down the middle. You pull back from his gasping at the action. He uses this opportunity to remove the dress from you. He walks toward you making you back up. He removes his shirt as he walks. Your knees hit the foot of bed as he begins to remove his pants. His hands leave his pants alone so they can take hold of your head. He kisses you hungrily as his hands move to your shoulders. He pushes you down so you sit on the edge of the bed. His bends over so his mouth stays with yours. He kneels down and lets his mouth leave yours so it can pay attention to your neck. He kisses it as his hands go to your legs. He spreads them open and lets his thumbs rub the muscle of your thighs.

Ben’s mouth journey to the valley of your breasts where your Dantari kyber crystals rest. He avoids the stones by going to you left nipple. He takes it in his mouth as his right hand goes closer to your spread womanhood. His thumb slides over your clit. He rubs his thumb clockwise while his tongue moves counterclockwise against your nipple. Ben moves his mouth to the right nipple and begins to suck and use his tongue to go counterclockwise. His thumb now goes clockwise. Your fingers are trapped in Ben’s hair as you enjoy the stimulation.

Ben stops just as your breast begin leaking. His kisses move to your stomach then lower. He moves his thumb from your clit as he comes face to face with your cunt. He nuzzles your engorged clit with nose. His brings his tongue to your perineum before dragging it slowly up and between your lips till he reaches your clit and hood. He takes in your clit and hood between his lips and sucks before starting at your perineum again. You whine and pull at his hair. His motions are slow but focused thus torturing ad pleasuring you at once.

Ben begins humming at he sucks your clit making it vibrate. You fall back when he begins to add his finger into your folds. You can do nothing but lay there and enjoying the way his two fingers curl about inside you while his tongue pays attention to everything else. His teeth even come out to nibble gently on your labia before his lips come to kiss the non-existent wounds.

“Ben-Ben-Ben, I-I-I-” You feel your end coming.

“Hmm?” He does not leave his work.

“I-I-” You are gasping. 

His pinky adds some pressure to your perineum just as he returns to sucking your clit.

“I’m going to cum,” You inform, “Oh, Ben, you’re going to make me cum.”

When his teeth graze the bud of nerves, you cry out. Ben accepts the waves of your pleasure with a willing tongue. You pant and try to breathe as Ben uses his tongue to clean you up. He sucks his finger dry before standing up. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. You look up at him as you feel his tip at your overflowing box. He lifts your hips so you are right against him. He takes your ankles and has them sit on top of his shoulders.

Ben enters slowly so he can savor your warm wetness. Your insides cling to him even more so than they did to his fingers. His hips are slow in their movements but he reaches deep inside. His tips flirts with your uterus and more than grazes your preferred internal spot. He draws himself out slowly and pushes inside you even slower. You allow yourself to moan freely as you enjoy him being inside of you. His eyes focus on the part of you made just for him. It only makes him harder when he can see himself actually fucking you. 

Your hands go to your breasts. You grope them. Ben’s eyes go up to your self-touching. He licks his lips with you tweak your own nipples which causes milk to leak. He had started this problem by sucking them earlier but your retouching has increased it now. He leans forward making his new angle hit your sweet spot harder. He leans more until his mouth can reach your right breast. Though the position is rather uncomfortable given your growing twins, you more than enjoy the way he suck out your breastmilk as he hits deeper. Your finger tangle themselves in his hair as he feeds off you. His thrusting increases in speed and strength. He switches breasts to keep the feedings even.

“Fuck, your milk and cum combined in my mouth is like-’” He struggles to find a proper comparison, “like crushed kessletone in merezane gold. I’m addicted.”

You do not want to find out if he is telling the truth or not. You are barely able to focus on anything other than your approaching orgasm.

“And I’m addicted to your cock, Ben. Oh, Ben! You’re going to make me cum again. Ben, don’t stop. Oh, don’t stop! Make me cum again! Make me cum! Use your addictive cock to make me cum!”

Ben stops bending down over you allowing your body to stop bending in half. His hands grip your hands as he keeps up his now furious thrusts. You grab your sheets and make sounds only Ben should ever hear.

“You’re squeezing me so tight, fuck. I’m going to cum,” He warns you.

“Cum inside me. Fill me up with your cum! Mark me as yours!” You order.

Ben obliges as you too shudder through a star viewing inducing orgasm. Ben falls forward but catches himself before he can crush you and the babies. He huffs as do you. With his breath caught, he gets on the bed and pulls you with him toward the head. There he holds you close in his arms. You cuddle against his chest more than happily. With his arms around you, lips pressed against your head, his cum leaking from your nether region, and his children stirring inside you, you feel completely his.

“Oh,” The children have yet to calm down. You put your stomach on the most active side.

“Is something wrong?” Ben asks.

“It’s just the children. I guess they could feel my over excitement. Feel,” You take his hands and put them on the spots where you feel movement. He smiles. He lowers himself so his face is in front of the hidden twins.

It is faint but you hear Ben mumble singing. He sings the song his mother used to sing. You listen closely enjoying the sweetness of the words and the way he intends them for Anakin and Hanamé. He adds a new verse you have not heard before.

“Fly on sweet ones

Fly on by

Your time has come to shine

All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine

Oh, if you need a friend

I'm sailing right behind

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind.”

You ruffle Ben’s hair with your hand as he presses his cheek against your stomach. The children have calmed inside of you. You hope your future on Enarc will be filled with more nights like this.


	99. Enarc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter! (It’s a little fluffy)

# Chapter 99

After being cleared with Dr. Ryza and given permission and funds from Supreme Leader Snoke, you and Ben embark on your trip to establish your new home on Enarc. You are surprised at how much Enarc is like Naboo. The small planet’s thriving capital city Aliss is home to a booming economy and thousands of citizens. It is not a surprise to anyone else how the planet thrives as a major tradeworld as it is at the confluence of several hyperlanes. But even with the busy city, there are great green plains and stunning, sparkling lakes to escape to when one needs a break.

The First Order has made its main offices in the former Trade Federation headquarters at the center of the city. You know this is where Ben will be working from when he must. But the home selected for you and Ben is further away from the city’s core.

The house is simple villa that sits overlooking a lake. It boasts a single floor which you mentally note will save your children from tumbling down stairs as they learn to walk. The house as a rather trapezium shape as the front of the house is very wife with large white walls and an overhang for there is a front porch and covering from the rain. The back of the house is smaller than the front but the wall is made entirely of glass for there is no obstruction of the lake. However, the trapezium shape is interrupted as there is a glass walkway at the back of the house that leads to a rectangle shaped portion of the house where a large bedroom and bathroom is positioned with its own glass wall to look the lake. This is quickly claimed for the master suite. In the main part of the house two more bedrooms with bathrooms and another bathroom near the entrance of the house for good measure. The kitchen is large but not as large at the living are that is at the back of the house with the window wall.

You and Ben easily christen your new bed and room almost instantly when you two arrived. Something about a new location struck an aroused nerve in you both. However, you two do have to unpack. It does not take long to unpack your belongings and sort them into the large walk-in closet. As you are unpacking you reach the trunk that had been brought from Coruscant by the droids assigned to pack it. Inside you find the fluffy white Wampa Leia bought.

“What is that?” Ben comes to your side and looks at the toy.

“It’s a Wampa,” You grin and hold it closer to his face. He takes the toy from your hands and holds it.

“Where did you get this?”

“Coruscant. Isn’t it cute?” You will not say who gave it to you.

“It’s very unrealistic,” He observes sown in eyes do not hold the hungry, murderous look that wampas actually have.

“Well it has to be sellable,” You take the toy back from him.

“Did you get that for the children?”

“Yes. I thought it would something to play with and a reminder,” You put the toy down on the bed.

“A reminder?”

You turn to look at Ben with a playful smirk.

“Yes. A reminder. If it weren’t for wampas we wouldn’t be where we are now,” You want him to recall Hoth. His lips curl up as he does. He has not forgotten that which was done in the Wampa cave.

“If it weren’t for your obsession with Kade Genti comics and need for reconditioning, we wouldn’t be where we are now,” He gets to the bigger source of your relationship. You blush as your mind goes back to the first time Ben began reconditioning you.

“Maybe I should go buy some Kade Genti comics for the twins too,” You suggest and take a step as if you are going to go out. Ben grabs your wrist.

“Don’t you dare,” He warn but not threateningly. He still dislikes the comic series.

“What will you do if I do dare?” You look back to him mischievously. He pulls you against him. He brushes some of your hair from your face so he can see your face with no obstructions. 

“I’ll have to punish you.”

“If you think it will help, Commander, I will not object,” You at your eyes as if you were some ingenue.

“I think it would help a lot, FN-1917,” He calls you by your old sign. It has been months since he has referred to you by this but you do not hate it too much especially since you know that you are being called by your true name for the rest of your life with him.

“Commander Ren,” the irritatingly polite voice of ZZ3P0 interrupt the two of you. Ben purchased the protocol droid to help with maintaining the house so you would not have to worry about cleaning. The droid is unsure about what boundaries are though.

“What is it, ZZ3P0?” Ben looks to the droid.

“The house has received a transmission that you are needed at the First Order Headquarters, sir,” the droid delivers the important news. Ben sighs.

“Thank you, ZZ3P0,” Ben has not lost his manners even to the droid. The droid walks away. Ben looks back to you.

“I have to go then, Sweetheart. I’ll be home as soon as I can,” He kisses your forehead before he lets you go. He grabs his helmet and puts it on his head.

“I’ll be waiting,” You watch him leave the room.

You finish unpacking and then go back to walk about your new home. You walk into the room you have already chosen to be the nursery for the twins. It is still furnished with a bed and some furniture left by the previous owner. You will have to get rid of it and replace it with the furniture and toys that will fit your twins. You cannot wait to go into the Enarc shops and find every item for your children. You will wait for Ben to return though. You have something else you want to do while Ben is gone.

“ZZ3P0,” You walk to the living area where the droid is dusting despite there not being much dust yet.

“Yes, Lady Ren?” He turned to look at you.

“Did you send out my message to Naboo?” You ask.

“Yes. I have received a reply. I did not give it to you yet as you specifically requested for it to be given to you when Master Ren is not in the house,” He informs you. You smile.

“Play it for me then, please.”

The droid stand still but presses a button to allow a hologram to appear. You hold onto your breath as you see it is Jyn being displayed. Healthy, happy and beautiful is she.

“Meia! I am so glad to hear from you! I cannot believe you are so to me. I understand that you may not be able to come to Naboo but the trade routes are still open between Enarc and Naboo. I will come tomorrow to see you. I cannot wait and I am willing to risk running into Commander Ren. Nothing will stop me from seeing you. Take care until I come,” Jyn ends her message and sends ripples of excitement through you.

“Now when did you get this message, ZZ3P0?” You check to figure out how much time you have to prepare for Jyn.

“I received it in the evening last night,” ZZ3P0 answers.

“So that means Jyn will be coming today! Oh, goodness!” You begin to panic. You do not know when she will arrive and if Ben comes home too early, he might not be pleased to have an unannounced guest. But you want to see Jyn and cannot stop her. Jyn said herself she does not care if she runs into her former commander.

A chime makes you jump. You know it is the notification system from the front door. ZZ3P0 passes you to go answer it. You run pass him. You look out the security portal.

“Jyn!” You open the door immediately.

“Meia!” She squeals. You two embrace tightly. You inhale her hair and refuse to let her go though your stomach is being squished. You find that her abdomen is not flat as it once was. You step back and look to body covered by a relatively loose and long magenta dress. You see the beginning of a bump at her abdomen.

“Jyn, are you?” You look up at her and she smiles.

“Yes. I’m about ten weeks along,” She shares the news.

“Oh, Jyn,” You embrace her again.

“Look at you though. How far are you now?” Jyn gestures to your own large bump when you to break the hug again.

“Twenty-two weeks,” You answer. Then notice someone in the corner of your eye. You turn and see Robal standing next to Jyn and wears a magenta tunic and gray pantaloons. He smiles even though you and Jyn forgot about his presence.

“Robal,” You address him by his true name. You have not seen him since you had Been free him after he played witness at your wedding.

“Meia,” He calls you by the name Jyn calls you though you know he may know your true name since he saw it on your wedding registry.

“Oh! Sorry, I totally forgot you are here too. Sorry,” Jyn blushes.

“It’s okay, darling,” He puts his arm around her waist.

“Please, come inside,” You step back to welcome them.

“Is Commander Ren here?” Robal is the one the ask and exhibit some fear.

“No. He has business at headquarters right now,” You shake your head. Relieved, the former trooper enters the house.

The couple enters and follows you to a living area. You all sit together and share what has happened. You keep your story simple. You married Kylo, returned to Base and only recently been allowed to move to Enarc after discovering a traitor. You know Jyn wants more detail but you do not want to dominate the time you have with your friends. You want to know about them.

You learn the two were reunited after your wedding. Robal’s family accepted him immediately. He shared the news about the rather clandestine marriage. The family all agreed to keep peace with Kylo Ren by negating to inform their Resistance allies about the short trip from the Knights of Ren and Kylo’s marriage. Robal and Jyn married says after Robal’s return and moved back to Jyn’s townhome. They met Han once when he came for your comic books. After that they learned of their pregnancy and could not be happier. Jyn has begun to work with her cousin-in-law Ruwee at the family’s clothing shop. Jyn has made it clear Ruwee has lost her harshness after the event with the Knights of Ren. Robal has taken to working in a weapons repair shop as he knows so much about them now after serving the First Order for so long.

You can see the two are very happy and living a honest, simple life. You love it and wish you and Ben could do so. But Ben must keep being Kylo Ren and leading the First Order.

Many hours have passed but they merely seem like seconds. But the Enarc sun has begun to descend.

“We should go back to our hotel. We have to leave for Naboo in the morning for a doctor’s appointment,” Robal is the one to bring up ending the visit.

“I understand. But please, feel free to come back to see me,” You grab Jyn’s hand who still stays seated by you.

“Of course! Are you here all the time now?” She asks.

“No. I am to give birth on Starkiller Base. Until then we are going back and forth between the planets to prepare. But I can let you know when I am here so we can meet,” You offer.

“Please do. I don’t want to go so long without seeing you,” Jyn squeezes your hand.

“I feel the same.”

“ZZ3P0!” You hear Kylo call for the droid. You leap up and see your friends stiffen. Kylo walks into the living area with helmet still on his head. The droid walks up to great the commander who stops when he sees his wife with the others.

“Master!” You call Kylo and come to him.

“What are they doing here?” Kylo speaking quietly with his mask facing the couple. Robal stands in front of his sitting wife.

“I let them know I was here. I couldn’t pass up seeing Jyn when she is so close,” You whisper.

“They could be spies for the Resistance,” Kylo’s hand goes toward his lightsaber.

“We are not,” Robal speaks up having heard Kylo.

Kylo does not let go his weapon but does yet pull it off.

“I am Robal Naberrie. You knew me as FN-0878. I was the witness at your wedding,” Robal wants to remind Kylo who he is.

“I know who are,” Kylo had not forgotten.

“Yes. Well, I have not forgotten what you have done for me and my wife. I know the allegiance my family has to the Republic but I assure you, sir, neither my wife nor I would betray the man who made it so we are free to be together. We are merely here to visit and we will speak nothing of it to anyone else,” Robal promises.

Kylo stays quiet. You sense that he is reading Robal’s mind. You can see Robal flinch at the mental penetration.

Kylo knows Robal means what he says. Robal can be trusted. Kylo also knows you want to continue to see your friend. He can either make you happy or make you miserable.

“See that you don’t. I know my wife would like to continue to see you two,” Kylo lets go of his lightsaber. You smile knowing what this means.

“Yes, sir,” Robal almost salutes but does not. Kylo leaves the room. You exchange hugs with Jyn then see her and Robal. You two promise to keep in touch.

You go to your bedroom where Ben has begun taking off his Kylo garb. As he is hanging up his shirt you come to his back and hug him.

“Thank you, Ben. I know I should have told you I contacted her but I had no idea that she would show up so suddenly. Forgive me,” you press your lips against his back. Ben turns around so he can look at you.

“They are trustworthy, at least Robal is. I want you to be happy but you must tell me next time,” Ben sets the rule.

“I will.”

“But since you didn’t tell me today…” Ben pauses. You see his eyes gaining an impish look in them. The corner of his lips twitch.

“I need to punish you,” He finishes.

“If you must, Commander Ren,” You grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter till this hits 100 chapters! I wonder what will happen 🙂


	100. Rapid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Wow! We have reached the 100 chapters mark. I cannot believe the story has come this far over the last nine months. Apparently, it has reached the length of 7 novels. This is by far the longest thing I have written! Thank you all so much for your support and readership. Without you guys, I would have given up on this story a long time ago. I am so thankful for you guys! Please, enjoy this extra long chapter!

# Chapter 100

The weeks leading up to your thirty-eighth week of pregnancy have been in a word – wonderful. Except for you ballooning up to the point you waddle now when you walk, having sleeping issues, cramps and a lack of desire for sex on your part, you have loved this time. You and Ben have completed preparing your home on Enarc for the arrival of the twins. A painting droid was able to give the nursery a pale gray walls. You were able to get matching floating silver prams with attachable mobiles that have stars to twinkle above the children. There is changing table, two bouncing chair for the babies, a rocking chair and a bed for you to rest on when you need it. Ben was the one to carefully select the toys. You noticed how most were educational and not something on which the twins will choke. The Wampa toy has been approved by Ben to stay in the nursery. He surprised you however when Ben bought a stuffed Wookie that was just like the one you decided not to get in the youngling shop on Corsucant.

“I had one of these when I was a child,” Ben commented as took it off the shelf, “I took it everywhere with me until I was five years old.”

You smiled at his sharing.

“We should get one then,” You encouraged. He did so.

You put the Wampa in one pram and the Wookie in the other before you left Enarc. This way it will be prepared for when you two return with the twins. You cannot wait for them to be born and taken back to Enarc. You cannot wait to meet them and raise them in a relatively free place.

You are so excited for the days when your twins will get to play with Jyn’s growing little boy. Over the visits these past weeks, whenever you and Jyn would be near your children would leap in you as would her son. You know they will all be friends as you and Jyn are.

You hated that you had to leave Enarc earlier than planned due to Ben’s call to come back to base by Snoke. You have noticed that Ben has been hating going to meetings as well. When Ben is with you, he is nearly attached to your hip. He wants to help in any way he can. He has taken to massaging you without the intention of seducing you. He sings to you and the children at night to help calm the almost always active twins. You wish you two could have just stayed on Enarc and Ben not go to work at all.

But it is good that you two have returned to base. You are two weeks from your due date and you two needed to bring some baby supplies to your room on the base for post birth. You are also able to see Dr. Ryza. You really do enjoy your time with her. You sit in her office now as she does her best to inform you of what you will need to do after the birth.

“Oh! And Supreme Leader Snoke has asked for me to take a Midichlorian test of the twins’ blood after they are born,” Dr. Ryza lists the last thing.

“A midichlorian test? What’s that?” You feel as if she is speaking an entirely different language.

“Oh, it’s an old test from the days of the Old Republic. I’m not really sure what it does but Supreme Leader apparently technology and wants me to use it. It is just a simple blood test so it won’t be anything major,” She wants to make you less fearful.

“Okay…”

“It will be alright. Trust me. Now, you will need to rest. I can feel that your twins are already turned and you may be giving birth before you can reach the forty week mark. You might not even be able to reach the thirty-ninth week,” Dr. Ryza informs you of the probability.

“That’s fine with me. I want them out and into my arms as soon as possible,” You rub the tiny planet that is your stomach. Dr. Ryza smiles.

“I am sure they cannot wait to be there as well. Have you decided on names yet?” She asks the personal question.

“Oh, yes. I’m surprised I have not told you before!”

“It’s quite alright,” Dr. Ryza is not offended by the being left out of the loop.

“But I want you to know. You are a dear friend to me, Dr. Ryza, even though it’s a bit ironic I don’t even know your _real_ name,” You grab her hand. She chuckles.

“That’s okay. I prefer to be called by Ryza. That way I’m always called by Reichner’s name. Now, tell me your plans for the twins’ names,” she turns the focus back on the twins.

“We are going to name the boy Anakin.”

“Anakin? That is a handsome name,” Dr. Ryza remarks.

“It was Commander Ren’s grandfather’s name. He insisted on it,” You give out the personal detail.

“I see. So, this you get to pick the girl’s name?”

“Yes. I read it and I knew it was the name for my girl.”

“And what is it?”

“Hanamé,” You answer. Dr. Ryza’s eye widen and her hand goes to cover her mouth that has opened in a humored way. A laugh makes a sudden burst from Dr. Ryza’s mouth before she stops it.

“Is there something funny about that name?” You begin to wonder if the name will make others laugh when they hear it. You do not want your child to be a laughing stock because you chose a weird name.

“No. No. It’s just…that’s _my_ name,” Dr. Ryza touches her chest.

“What?”

“My name is Hanamé Ryza,” the doctor gives her full name.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am!” the physician keeps grinning. You smile too.

“Wow. What are the chances?” You cannot believe it.

“I know. I mean I haven’t heard of anyone being called Hanamé besides me since I read the Kade Genti comic. I don’t except you know who that that is but it was a very popular comic book series.”

“Dr. Ryza, I know all about Kade Genti! I used to sneak the comics into base. That’s where I saw the name!” You grow more excited.

“How have we never talked about this before?” Dr. Ryza’s energy is high as is yours.

“I don’t know! This is so wild!”

You both laugh at the coincidence of it all.

“Well, I am glad that my child will share a name with someone I respect,” You state truthfully. Dr. Ryza takes the words to eart.

“Dr. Ryza, we need you,” the newest doctor to join Starkiller Base pokes his head into the office.

“Coming, Dr. Vruckleblurt,” Dr. Ryza tells him. She pats your hand.

“Get some rest, Sly. I will see you later,” Dr. Ryza gives her orders. She helps you up so you can walk out of the office. She hands you some papers with instructions on post-birth care so you will have a back up should you forget what she told you to do.

You return, very slowly, to your room. You put your papers on the desk before you go to lay on the bed. You keep yourself relatively propped up in the bed. You lie there wanting to sleep but it continues to allude you.

-

“No.” Kylo answers his Supreme Leader who scowls at the response.

“No? What do you mean ‘no’?” Snoke glares at his apprentice.

“My wife is nearing the end of her pregnancy. I want to be by her side. I will not miss the birth of my children. You can send Captain Ruthford with an army to take over Benathy,” Kylo gives an alternative to Snoke’s original plan. The Supreme Leader inhales sharply through his jagged teeth.

“I want you to go Kylo. I am not requesting that you go. I am ordering,” Snoke slams his fist on his armrest.

“I do want to leave her,” Kylo dares to talk back again. Snoke reaches out his hand and causes Kylo to rise into the air and choke.

“Do forget where your ultimate loyalty lies, _boy_. I am _your_ Supreme Leader. I am your god and my orders are to be followed. Understand?” Snoke snarls and drools as she does. He lets Kylo go. The Apprentice falls to the floor coughing.

“Understand?” Snoke repeats.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Kylo nods. He is then dismissed. Kylo rubs his throat in the elevator. He stops before he reaches the floor with your shared room. You sense Ben approaching. You smile as you cannot wait for him to be with you.

Ben enters and removes his helmet as he greets you by name. He puts on the desk before coming to you and kissing you. You welcome the kiss. He puts his hand on your stomach.

“How was the doctor visit?” He asks.

“It was good. Dr. Ryza just told me I just need to rest. The babies have turned and so I might be giving birth soon,” You update him.

“Really? How soon do you think?” He seems concerned instead of excited.

“I don’t know. She thinks that I might even go into labor before next week,” You answer. Ben sits on the bed next you perturbed about something.

“What’s wrong Ben?”

“Snoke wants me to go to Wild Space tomorrow. I am to put an end to the Benathy expansionist campaign,” Ben brings up the surprise mission.

“The Benathy! You’ll need an army to stop them. I’ve heard that they are horrendously huge greatures,” You relay what you have heard.

“Yes. That is why Snoke wants me to go. Grandfather was able to bring the Benathy under the Empire and he wants me to bring them under the First Order.”

“I know you can do it, Ben, but…can it not wait till after the twins are born?” You know your question is selfish.

“No. It must be done as soon as possible,” he shakes his head.

“I guess I will have to let you go then…” You pout.

“I will do it as quickly as possible. I will be with you when you give birth. I promise,” He takes your hand and kisses it.

“I know you will,” You reach and touch his cheek. You hold your hand there look into those dark eyes you love more than any other set in the galaxy. You cannot wait to see if your children will have the same eyes as him.

“Ben, come lay with me,” You pat the other side of you where his side of the bed is.

“I need to prepare. I only stopped to check on you and tell you about my mission,” He moves to get up. You grab his hand.

“You can do it in a little bit. Come lie with me,” You encourage him.

“I will later. I have to go,” He gets up from the bed. He puts his helmet back on his head. You longingly watch him leave the room. You wish he would have joined you for a midday cuddle but he has things to do and you know he must do them.

After Ben leaves, you stay on the bed and find yourself unexpectantly gaining the ability to sleep. You close your eyes and rest.

You wake when you feel Ben shaking you gently. You look over at him and see he is still dressed in his Kylo garb excluding his mask.

“You’re back,” You grin sleepily.

“I’ve been back since last night. I didn’t want to wake you but I am leaving now for my mission,” He springs the news on you.

“What? I’ve been a sleep this whole time? You should have woken me!” You cannot believe the time you have lost and try to get up. His hands push you back down.

“You needed your rest. I know how much you have been struggling to sleep. But I wanted to tell you goodbye before I left.”

You frown.

“Don’t look so sad. I’ll be back soon.”

“You better. I’ll miss you terribly while you are gone,” You grab at his hand.

“I will miss you too. But like I said, I’ll be back soon,” He repeats.

“I know.”

He bends down and kisses you tenderly. He pulls away but his face is still close to yours.

“I love you, Ben,” You tell him.

“I love you,” He replies and steals another kiss before he moves from you and grabs his helmet. He puts it on and leaves you.

Your heart grows sick knowing he is gone. Your mind tells you that he will be back soon like he said but something else in you dissents. You stay in the bed. There is nothing else for you to do anyway. You feel your sleep creeping back over you and you let it take you. Maybe you can sleep until Ben returns.

-

Ben had barely anytime to spend with you as he needed to meditate before his mission and then make extremely detailed battleplans just in case the negotiations turned sour. When Ben had gotten to you, you were asleep and it took less than a minute for him to fall asleep as well. When he woke he had no time but to dress and tell you “goodbye”. He wished he had stayed with you when you had asked but he must keep in mind that he will have the time he wants with you once he returns and the twins are born.

Still, as he is on Benathy about to negotiate with King Kristoff, Ben wants nothing more than to be at your side. In such a tentative time as this, he does not need to be out on missions. He needs to be with you just in case you go into labor. That is why he tried to refuse Snoke’s order. Not even the First Order is more important than you and twins to him now. But he has to obey Snoke. Snoke could kill him, you, and the twins. He has to obey. In a way Snoke is a god like he said. No one has been able to defeat the old man. Kylo wonders if the old man is even capable of dying.

Ben recalls the time in his childhood when he read his favorite comic book about the warrior queen with whom you share a name. The queen faced an unkillable, reptilian Zillo Beast. It destroyed most of the queen’s army and she could not escape. Ben was afraid for his heroine and he was afraid for himself as he knew Zillo beasts were real. His fear was noticed by his father.

Han had ruffled Ben’s hair and gave his son a comforting smile.

“Don’t worry about the queen, kid. Nothing is unkillable. Not even Zillo Beasts.” Han told him. Sure enough, in the next comic book, reinforcements with toxins were able to poison the beast and the queen lived.

Ben wonders if Snoke is his own Zillow Beast. Of course, he would not dare to think of killing his Supreme Leader and Master. At least, he will not unless any harm comes to his family by Snoke’s hand or order.

So Kylo does as ordered by Snoke. Kylo consulted with Captain Ruthford of how best to deal with the Benathy as the old captain had his own scrapes with the other species. Kylo knows leading the army and defeating the Benathy will only bring glory to the First Order and himself. He hopes it will make Snoke forgive his outburst and grant him less work to do in the coming months. He does not want to keep going on missions when he can be home with you and the twins. He does not want to be an absentee father. 

Kylo comes before King Kristoff. The Benathy king is enormous and covered in brown fur. He has orange eyes, sharp tusks and a necklace made from the helmets of imperial troopers Kylo correctly guesses were killed by the king. The king starts polite by offering a seat to the commander and captain.

“No. I don’t think so,” Kylo rejects the offer.

“Why not?” the king huffs.

“You would have me looking like an infant,” Kylo answers then gets to the purpose of the meeting, “You have wiped out all life on four nearby planets.”

“They were very small planets,” King Kristoff rolls his eyes.

“You are expanding. You will stop.” Kylo gives the order. King Kristoff leans into Kylo’s face.

It is a pity that the king did not know that the Commander is already on the mental edge. But how could the king know? The First Order’s Captain Ruthford did not even know. He simply thought Kylo was just being his short-tempered self. Alas, after disagreeing with the First Order’s demands, being unable to be mind-tricked, and insulting both Kylo and his hero Darth Vader, King Kristoff lost his head. One of the Benathy commander likewise lost his before another one lost his legs.

Kylo savored the ability to release his frustration on the smug Benathy. Somehow killing and maiming those who were insulting, irritating, and threatening him, brought a relief almost as satisfying as an orgasm. It also brought him the overwhelming feeling of power. He relishes the feeling. Captain Ruthford does not.

“That was supposed to be a negotiation,” the captain follows Kylo out of the negotiation tent.

“Yes.”

“It’s kind of hard to negotiate with dead people.”

“Really? I didn’t hear anyone objecting to my demands,” Kylo retorts.

Kylo and Captain Ruthford head back to their ship but the word of what has transpired with King Kristoff reaches the rest of the Benathy before Kylo can make it. Kylo senses the rage in the people. He can practically taste the hate in the air. He knows the army he has brought and the battle plans he made for “just in case” will have to be used. If slaughtering the Benathy will end their expansion and give him the high killing their King Kristoff did, Kylo is more than ready to fight. Captain Ruthford is not.

-

You wake in pain. Pain radiates in your back and pelvis. You touch your stomach and it is hard like rock. You sit on the edge of the bed gripping the bed as to deal with it. The pain subsides. You takes deep breath. You stand up

“Good grief. What was that?” You ask your baby bump. It does not answer though. You try to lie back down. Soon you feel the pain fain. You squeeze the bedding beneath you.

“These must be false contractions. Dr. Ryza said this could happen,” You think back to old information from the doctor. You stay on the bed and suffer several more instances of these fake contractions over the next hour. They sure do not feel fake though.

“Maybe I should go pee,” You sit up on the bed feeling more pressure on your pelvis. You start for the bathroom door. You are halfway to the door when you feel the pain again but worse. You stop and ball your fists. You feel like you need to push something. It stops again. You take a few breaths.

“Okay, this is weird. I should probably go to Dr. Ryza,” You decide. You turn around and start to go back to the door. You do not even attempt to put your shoes on as you start to the door. You do grab your lightsaber though and out it in your dress pocket. You are never supposed to leave according to Ben.

You get in the hall and the pain returns. Once it stops you move again. This repeats over your long journey to Medical Bay. You make in the doors when you feel pop down below followed by a rush of fluid. 

“Dr. Ryza!” You scream out. A passing medical droid approaches you.

“Are you having a medical issue?” It asks.

“Yes. I need Dr. Ryza. Now!” You feel another contraction. Once it recedes, you start walking again. You call out for your doctor as the droid rolls ahead of you.

“Sly! What are you-” Dr. Ryza approaches quickly as she sees your waddling and gripping your stomach. You grimace as start to ride another contraction. You takes several breaths one it finishes.

“I think I’m in labor. I’m having terrible contractions and something popped and wet stuff got everywhere,” You are tears.

“I think you are then. Dr. Vruckleblurt, come help! We are having some babies over here!” Dr. Ryza takes hold of you. The young doctor comes with a panicked look in his eyes when he sees you. Nevertheless, he help Dr. Ryza get you to a private room. He leaves when Dr. Ryza helps you get out of your wet dress and into a nightgown. She observes how quickly and long your contractions are coming. She even starts timing them.

“How long have you been having these contractions?” She asks getting onto the bed.

“I’m not sure. It started suddenly and I tried to just let it pass for like an hour but it only got worse. It took me like twenty minutes to get here because I kept having them on the way. Am I in labor?” You ask.

“Yes,” She nods and moves to your feet. She lifts your gown to look between your legs.

“Oh no,” You start to cry, “I want him here. I want my husband here.”

“I will have a droid get him,” She is still between your legs.

“He’s not on base. He’s in wild space on a mission. He’s not here. I wanted him to be here. He wanted to be here,” You begin sobbing then suffer another contraction. There is so much pressure on your pelvis and an urge to push. Dr. Vruckleblurt returns and attaches you to a heart monitor. The loud beeps of your heart do not calm you.

“Breathe. Breathe like this,” Dr. Ryza begins to demonstrate her therapeutic breathing style. You want to copy her but you can stop crying. Ben is not here. He is not here with you.

She goes back down between your legs and has Dr. Vruckleblurt go to look as well.

“I will be right back,” Dr. Ryza practically runs from the room leaving you alone with the other doctor.

“I want to stop. I want him here. I want my husband here with me,” You shake your head rejecting the idea that you are in labor. Dr. Vruckleblurt comes back up from your legs.

“I’m afraid we can’t stop your labor. It looks like we won’t be able to slow it down either which is…” Dr. Vruckleblurt trails off and frowns.

“Why are you frowning? Is something wrong?” Your panic increasing.

“Breathe. Breathe,” He sees your concern is getting you more riled up as your heart rate increases as well. He does the breathing techniques Dr. Ryza sis.

“Tell me what is wrong!” You slam your fist into the bed.

“It looks like you are having a rapid birth. You will have a baby out in an hour or so,” He answers freely.

“But isn’t that good?”

“Uhm…” He scrunches up his nose

“Tell me. I have right to know what is happening! Tell me what is wrong!”

“The average birthing process takes between six and eighteen hours. That amount of time allows for your cervix to dilate and the baby to move into the birthing canal. You are dilated but not far enough yet. If the babies come too soon then they can tear your cervix and vagina which could lead to you hemorrhaging and dying. It would be better for you to have a slow birth,” the young doctor explains bluntly.

“But I’m not. And you can’t make it slower right?”

“No. We can’t. We take some control by calming you down, getting you to breathe properly, and getting us ready to go into help you should you hemorrhage,” Dr. Vruckleblurt answers as he bobbles his head from side to side.

How can you calm down knowing that you are giving birth too fast and Ben is too far away and you are going to have to this all on your own? Your eyes cannot stop the waterfalls from your eyes. It is all too much.

Dr. Ryza enters. She comes to your side and takes your hand.

“Everything is okay, Sly,” She calls you.

“No, it isn’t! He told me I’m having a rapid birth and-”

Dr. Ryza whips her head to glare at her younger associate.

“You told her!” She snaps.

“She has every right to know,” He reasons.

“You have totally freaked her out now!” Dr. Ryza yells at him and starts toward him but you tighten your hold on her hand. She looks back to you.

“I can’t do this, Dr. Ryza. I can’t do this,” you bawl.

“Yes, you can,” She tries to encourage you.

“No, I can’t! I need him with me. I need more time. I can’t do this on my own and this fast!”

“Sly, listen to me. You _can_ and _will_ do this. You’ve been through worse than this. I am here with you and I will not leave you during any of this. I have sent word out to Commander Ren’s ship so he will know to come back as soon as possible. You are going to welcome him home with Anakin and Hanamé in your arms. Everything is going to be okay,” Dr. Ryza speaks calmly but confidently. She smiles giving you hope and courage. You nod your head accepting her words. You will get through this and when Ben comes back to you, you will present him with your children.

-

Kylo leads his troopers against the Benathy feeding off the rush of adrenaline and pure power that comes from the fight. The troopers, inspired by the fact that their leader is actually fighting alongside them, fight even harder than they were trained to do. Captain Ruthford is anything but pleased at the turn out of this negotiation mission. His mind keeps recalling the last time he was brought to fight against the Benathy. Darth Vader was the leader then and so many lives were lost. He wonders how many will be lost under this new Vader.

“Oh, no,” Captain Ruthford’s eyes grow in horror as he fights next to Kylo when he sees that which the Benathy worship most.

Kylo stops along with his troopers as a Zillo Beast emerges among the Benathy. Captain Ruthford had told Kylo that the Benathy had a god and their god was unable to be defeated by Darth Vader.

“It is here…their god,” Kylo tells himself looking at the massive beast. He calls for the troopers to fire on the colossal lizard looking monster. The troopers obey and fire their weapons at the beast but none of the fights do any damage.

“You do understand Zillo Beasts are unbreakable, yes?” Captain Ruthford looks to the commander who stares at the beast. Ben thinks back to his father again.

“Nothing’s unbreakable,” Kylo remarks. He knows this beast is killable just like everything else.

A gunship flies overhead firing everything it has at the Zillo Beast. The beast leaps forward toward the ship. It wraps itself around the ship unbothered by the shots firing directly into it. It begins to try to eat it.

“The shuttle! I need the shuttle!” Kylo yells at his underlings. He runs toward his shuttle. Captain Ruthford goes after his running leader. He tries to advise Kylo but the younger man does not heed him.

“You can’t prove anything to a dead man,” the captain states. Kylo stops and looks at the captain. He is not doing this to prove anything to his grandfather. He is not even doing this for the First Order. He is doing this so his mission was not a waste of time and therefore not a valid reason to be away from his wife.

The door of the shuttle shuts with the captain off it. Kylo directed the pilot to sly him straight to the Zillo Beast. The co-pilot turns to Kylo.

“Sir, we have an urgent message from Starkiller Base,” the co-pilot states.

“We have more important things right now than a message from Starkiller Base,” Kylo snaps. He needs his focus to be on the Zillo Beast. “Lower the shuttle door.”

Kylo walks out on the opening ramp. He sees the Zillow Beast crushing the gunship from earlier. He is right above the god. Kylo stares at it with lit lightsaber in hand.

“Nothing is unkillable,” He tells himself and jumps. He falls through the air gaining all’s attention including the Zillo Beast. Many think the masked commander a fool as he dives straight into the beast’s mouth.

 **Crunch.** The beast closes its mouth around Kylo. It almost smiles having swallowed its tiny attacker.

The thing about being swallowed whole it that your body is intact. Kylo slides down the dark hole of the creature’s throat. His lightsaber is imbedded now in the lining of the throat and slides with him.

All gape as they watch the god of Benathy fall from the sky. All gather around to see why. Kylo cuts through the neck of the beast with lightsaber in hand and a mix of blood and saliva all over him. If his mask did not cover his face, all would see that grins in pride.

“Your god is dead!” He declares victoriously. The Benathy all kneel down now before the one who killed their god. Kylo looks to them and holds out his lightsaber.

“Now you worship only the First Order,” He proclaims. The Benathy has to accept this. Kylo descends from the corpse of the beast and returns to Captain Ruthford.

“You know how I said it wasn’t a competition?” the captain reminds Kylo of an earlier conversation they had involving him being compared to his grandfather.

“Yes.” Kylo removes his helmet so he can breathe better.

“You won,” the captain makes Ben smirk. He did do better than his grandfather. Now, Kylo can add “godkiller” to his many nicknames.

**_Ben!_ **

Kylo loses his smirk having suddenly heard your voice calling his name. He looks around to see if you are somehow near him.

**_Ben!_ **

He hears you calling his name again. He knows you are not there though.

**_Ben!_ **

Kylo puts his helmet back on and hurries to the shuttle. He goes to the co-pilot who had tried to speak to him earlier. The co-pilot and pilot salute the victor of this battle.

“You said that Starkiller Base sent an urgent message. Play it now,” Kylo orders.

“Yes, sir,” the co-pilot nods and turns around to press play.

A hologram of Dr. Ryza appears. Kylo knows something must have happened to you.

“Commander Ren, Lady has gone into labor. Please, return to Starkiller Base immediately. Your wife requests your presence,” Dr. Ryza keeps the message short and clear. Her voice does not hold a sense of urgency but her words do.

**_Ben!_ **

Kylo hears your voice once more. He realizes now that you are calling for him. You are calling for him as you are giving birth to your children.

“Take me back to Starkiller Base at once!” Kylo Orders.

“Yes, sir,” They pilots salute him and take their seats.

Ben’s heart pounds and does not stop the entire flight. His emotions are scattered. He is furious that he is missing he birth of his children. Of course, they had to be born while he is on mission. It is no one’s fault though. Ben knows this.

Ben is also excited. He is going to come back and finally be able to see and hold his own son and daughter. He will be able to take you and them back Enarc and begin your lives. He looks forward the late nights of crying and diaper changing and cradling his children. He looks forward to being able to hold you and not fearing he might hurt you and the children. He could burst from the excitement.

Of course, he is nervous as well. He is not used to crying and diapers. He also knows he could fuck up fatherhood like his father. He could say or do something that will scare or hurt the children.

“You will be a great father.” He remembers what you told him over and over when he confided his fears in you. He trusts that her will prove you right and you will prove him right in how you will be a great mother.

Dammit! He cannot stand how long this flight back is taking!

“Can’t you two make this ship go any faster?” Kylo comes to the pilots again.

“We are already in hyper speed, sir,” The pilot cowers when he answers.

Ben sighs but goes back to his seat and sits. He has to be patient. It is hard being patient though. He is so close and yet so far from being with his family.

The hours pass like centuries but the command shuttle finally arrives to Starkiller Base. Kylo exits the ship so quickly, he nearly jumped out of the shuttle when the ramp first cracked open. He stops for no one as he rushes toward Medical Bay. His rapid heartbeat is his ears.

“Sly! Sly!” He calls out entering Medical Bay. He opens every door to a room as he passes in search of you. You are none but many embarrassed and frightened troopers are. Ben cares not that he has intruded. He is going to find you. He’s going to find you and the twins!

“Sly! Dr. Ryza!” He calls out. He sees a medical droid rolling out of back room.

“You!” He points at the droid. It turns and faces him.

“Do you need medical assistance?” It approaches him.

“I need to see Dr. Ryza, now,” He is so sick of this run around.

“Dr. Ryza is not here.”

“Where is she?” Ben does understand why the doctor would not be in medical bay.

“She’s gone,” Ben hears the voice of his master. He turns around and sees Snoke.

“Supreme Leader,” Ben bows his head to his master.

“I heard of your success with the Benathy. Good job, Kylo. You did even better than Darth Vader,” Snoke approaches the young godkiller with a smile and puts his hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you, sir. But I need to find Sly. I was told she has gone into labor,” Ben has the one goal in mind. Snoke loses his smile.

“Kylo, you will not find Sly here,” Snoke keeps his hand on his apprentice’s shoulder.

“She is already in our room? I will go there then,” Ben starts to take a step but Snoke’s hand keeps Ben in place.

“No. She is not there,” Snoke shakes his head.

“Where is she then?” the husband is over this game of ‘Where is Sly?’.

“She’s dead.”

“What?” Ben must not have misheard his master.

“Sly is dead.” Snoke keeps his voice calm and solemn.

Ben frozen. He cannot believe his ears.

“Sly had a rapid birth. It’s a very dangerous thing. She hemorrhaged. Instead of helping her, Dr. Ryza and Dr. Vruckleblurt were unable to stop it,” Snoke gives the details.

“And the children?”

“There was a blockage in the umbilical cords. It is something that cannot be detected in an ultrasound. The children had died before they even came out of the womb,” Snoke reveals the fate of the twins.

The high of his earlier victory and the sweetness there is gone. His excitement, frustration and nervous are gone. His hopes for the for are gone. His children are gone. His wife, his love…is gone. Everything is gone.

“Where are their bodies?” He asks. He wants to hold you one last time. He wants to hold his children even if they not alive.

“I already had them cremated. Though you have seen every type of carnage, seeing one’s loved ones’ corpses is too much, even for you.” Snoke explains. Ben’s hands start to tremble but he hardly notices.

“Where is Dr. Ryza?” Ben asks after the doctor, the woman he trusted to help his wife and children.

“I had her executed and Dr. Vruckleblurt as well. Their failure was unacceptable and so I rid the First Order of their weakness,” Snoke answers.

“I see.” Ben accepts the Supreme Leader’s choice. The First Order cannot have weakness.

“I suggest you leave and go to your room, Kylo. You must be tired and this news must not be easy for you.” Snoke removes his hand from Ben’s shoulder. Ben nods.

How and when Ben returned to his room is unknown. But he does. He walks in and takes off his helmet as he often did. He puts it on the desk. He looks around the empty room. He looks to the bed. He had left you there.

“Ben, come lay with me,” You had patted next to you.

“I need to prepare. I only stopped to check on you and tell you about my mission,” He rejected you but you still grabbed his hand.

“You can do it in a little bit. Come lie with me,” You insisted. He still denied you. Even so you told him you loved him before he left you the next morning.

Ben walks away from the bed and to the door that once was his sanctuary for meditation. He opens the door. He sees the small changing table, rocking chair and floating prams you two all added for the brief time you two were to spend on base until you two could go back to Enarc.

Ben walks to the empty prams. They will remain empty now.

 ** _Ben!_** You had called for him over and over through the force. He promised you that he would be here with you. He promised. But where was he? He was fighting the fucking Benathy for the glory of the First Order. Now, he has no wife. He has no children. His heart empty now just like these prams.

Ben has nothing. Ben is nothing. He is not Ben anymore. Ben was husband and father. He is neither things now. He is Kylo Ren. He is alone. He is unloved. He is the First Order’s greatest weapon. And weapons cannot be weak. They cannot.

He pulls out his lightsaber and swings it about the room. He slices through the prams making them fall to the ground. He slashes through the rocking chair and changing table. He exits the room still in his rage. Opens the closet where your clothes are neck to his. He rips them out and tears him with his hands. He goes into the bathroom and throughs your toiletries to the floor causing them to shatter and spill. He comes back into his room and sees the bed you two shared.

His mind his filled with the memories there. He recalls the uncountable times you two had sex there. He recalls it was there you first told him you loved him. He recalls the many nights you two laid together sharing your hopes for your and your children’s future. Kylo raises his lightsaber high ready to destroy the altar of your relationship.

Kylo turns of the weapon of mass destruction. He lowers his arms and he drops the laser sword to the floor. He falls on his knees. Like tsunami his tears break through the dam of his eyes and flood his face. He buries his face in the bedding and cries. What else can he do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me...  
> Edit: please read tags if you are concerned


	101. The Command

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers. I know many of you are mad at me but thank you for continuing on! I loved seeing all the comments and kudos. I hope this chapter makes up for the last one haha. Please, enjoy!
> 
> Edit: please tags before and possibly after this chapter

# Chapter 101

“Ahhh!” You scream as you grab the rails of the bed and push out the being in your birthing canal.

“Keep pushing, Sly,” Dr. Ryza is in between your legs. It is a miracle, at least according to Dr. Ryza, that your cervix quickly dilated in the short time before your baby decided to start out of you. You will be less likely to tear now.

You push but stop to catch your breath. You wish Ben were with you. You could crush his hand instead of the bar on the bed. He deserves a broken hand after making you have to go through this. He should have learned to pull out! Fuck! Your entire vagina and perineum feel like they are on fire!

“Push again, Sly. Baby one is crowning,” Dr. Ryza announces. You push.

Dr. Ryza catches the head and you have some relief despite still being in great discomfort. Dr. Vruckleblurt comes with a strange rubber ball with a tube coming out from it. He puts in it in the baby’s nose and mouth to suck out any fluid or mucus there. Dr. Ryza rotates that baby’s a quarter of a turn before asking you start pushing again. You brace and push. The top shoulder comes out.

“One more push, sly!” Dr. Ryza smiles beneath her medical mask.

Ben! Your mind calls out for your husband.

“Ah!” The lower shoulder comes out as does the rest of the baby. You lay back panting as Dr. Ryza holds up the baby. She smacks the child’s bottom causing the babe to emit a blood curdling cry. You feel another cramp. Something large, heavy, warm blob comes out after the baby. You only look at the newborn in Dr. Ryza’s arms.

“It’s a boy,” Dr. Ryza announces. You stare at the small body with arms outstretched in need of a hug. Even covered in blood and mess. his face scrunched up and his gummy mouth emitting a terrible cry, he is gorgeous. You do not fail to notice the nearly full head of dark hair on his head like his father. You gave birth to a tiny Wookie.

“Anakin,” You reach out for the child.

“Let Dr. Vruckleblurt clean the child,” Dr. Ryza hands away your son, “Your little girl will be coming out soon.”

You forgot you had another baby coming until she spoke. It is then you feel the pains again.

“Push. Push. Breathe. Breathe. Push. Push,” Dr. Ryza goes back to her chant. You squeeze your rails again as you push.

Ben! Ben! You mentally cry out for you husband. He should be with you. He should be here holding his son while his daughter is coming.

The fire in your nether region comes again and you know before Dr. Ryza speaks that Hanamé is crowning. You keep pushing and get the baby’s head out. Dr. Ryza is the one this time to clean out the possible extra fluid and mucus in the baby’s nose and mouth. You are encouraged to push again. Out comes a shoulder. Push. Out comes the rest. Dr. Ryza delivers a smack to the newborn girl’s behind.

“Here is your girl,” Dr. Ryza holds up the child. She looks just like her brother except she lacks the hair and the penis. She is beautiful. She cries but not as loudly as Anakin. You feel pressure again and push. Out comes Hananmé’s placenta and amino sac.

Dr. Vrucklblurt brings the cleaned and wrapped Anakin to you. You unlatch your gown so you can put the cleaned babe right against your chest. 

“Anakin,” You call him, “Anakin, don’t cry. Mama has you. Mama has you.”

You stroke his back and feel his cry turn to a whimper then nothing. He is more tired than you are. You breathe in his scent. It is sweet. You give his hairy head a kiss. Dr. Vruckleblurt brings over your now cleaned Hanamé. You put her against your chest. She has no more tears. You are able to balance them both on you and move your arms so you can hold them both. You cannot stop smelling and kissing them. You are glad Ben did not pull out now.

Ben…I wish you were here. You think and wonder if he can hear your thoughts even across the galaxy.

After you were able to hold your twins for a time, Dr. Ryza took them for tests and for them to rest in two rolling prams that they already had in the Medial Bay. Dr. Ryza encourages you to rest. You are exhausted after all and easily obey.

“All the tests look good. They are perfectly healthy in every way,” Dr. Ryza smiles at the twins who sleep.

“Yes. When are we to take the results to Supreme Leader Snoke?” Dr. Vruckleblurt does not look at the children.

“We can go now. The medical droids can watch the twins,” Dr. Ryza looks to the droid across from her. Dr. Ryza takes her paper work and leaves Medical Bay with Dr. Vruckleblurt. They walk down the hall silently. Dr. Ryza smiles though when she sees Lt. Mitaka in the hall before them. They exchange smiles. They both know that tonight is the night that Dr. Ryza will finally welcome Lt. Mitaka into her quarters and into something far more personal as well. They pass without a word but the feelings of excitement and anticipation are felt between them.

Dr. Ryza and Dr. Vruckleblurt continue and make it up to Supreme Leader Snoke’s throne room. Hey knock on the door. It opens granting them access to the Supreme Leader. They salute their leader.

“Dr. Ryza, I hope Sly’s birth was successful,” Snoke knows already of course that you went into labor.

“Yes, sir. Both babies are healthy as is the mother. I have their test reports here,” Dr. Ryza holds them up.

“I just want the Midichlorian report,” Snoke comes down from his throne and holds out his hand. Dr. Ryza hands over the paper on that. Snoke’s eyes go to Anakin’s first as he was the first born and his was on top.

“Hmm,” Snoke’s chapped lips purse.

“Is something wrong, sir?” Dr. Ryza inquires.

“You are sure this was the score for the boy?” Snoke checks.

“Yes, sir. The device you gave us produced that result with him,” Dr. Ryza answers.

“I see,” Snoke moves switches the paper with the one for Hanamé. Snoke’s displeasure is replaced with elation.

“And this result is correct as well?” Snoke holds it up.

“Yes, sir,” Dr. Ryza nods.

“Well, well, well, this is very good. Very good,” Snoke smiles.

“Sir, may I ask, what does this midichlorian test do?” Dr. Vruckleblurt speaks up.

“In in a way it determines whether one is force sensitive,” Snoke answer’s his eyes stuck on the number on the page.

“And these results have proved…?” Dr. Ryza is curious.

“It has proved that I must make certain changes. Dr. Ryza and Dr. Vruckleblurt, bring me the female twin,” Snoke orders.

“Yes, sir,” Dr. Vruckleblurt nods accepting the order. Dr. Ryza furrows her brows.

“Just the girl, sir?” Dr. Ryza checks.

“Yes. I only want the girl.”

“What about the boy?” Dr. Ryza does not understand.

“Kill him.”

“What!” Dr. Ryza cannot control her mouth.

“Kill him and Sly. Delete all medical records on the twins. Cremate the bodies and speak of this to no one,” Snoke commands.

“But, sir!” Dr. Ryza starts to protest. Snoke glares at the doctor. He waves his hand.

“You will do as the Supreme Leader commands.”

“I will do as the Surpeme Leader commands,” Both Dr. Ryza and Dr. Vruckleblurt say.

They leave and return to Medical Bay. The doctors go where the twins sleep under the watch of the medical droid.

“You may go,” Dr. Vruckleblurt points for the droid to leave. It rolls away. Dr. Vruckleblurt looms over the rolling pram that holds young Anakin. His hand starts for the child.

“Doctor,” Dr. Ryza grabs the man’s wrist.

“What?”

“Take the girl to Supreme Leader Snoke,” Dr. Ryza picks up the one that shares her own name. The young doctor nods and takes the baby from Dr. Ryza. Dr. Vruckleblurt quickly walks away. Dr. Ryza stares at Anakin. Her hands reach for him. Picking him up, Dr. Ryza mind screams at her to obey her Supreme Leader. She must kill this boy. She must kill him.

Dr. Ryza holds the babe to her chest. She cannot obey. She cannot.

You wake in the hospital bed as you are shaken awake. You blink your eyes several times to register who is shaking you. You see it is Dr. Ryza. She holds Anakin in one arm and a bag in the other.

“Sly, I have to get you out of here now,” Dr. Ryza informs you.

“What?”

“You have to get out of here now. Hold onto Anakin,” She puts the baby on your chest. You hold him. She puts the bag she had on the bed next to you. She grabs your dress you came in and your lightsaber on the bed with you. She starts to cover you with a sheet.

“Lie very still. Make no noise,” Dr. Ryza orders.

“Why? What is happening? Why must we go? Where is Hanamé?” You realize your other child is absent.

“She is safe. You and Anakin are not. We must go. Lie still and quiet,” She covers your head. You lie as still as possible with your son pressed against your chest. You barely feel his tiny heartbeat against you as your own heart nearly beats through your chest.

Why is Dr. Ryza having to sneak you and Anakin out of Medical Bay? Why is Hanamé but not the rest of you? Where is Hanamé? Where is Ben? Why is he not back yet?

Dr. Ryza rolls the bed through the Medical Bay. She walks through the halls trying not to look suspicious. She passes several troopers who do not care to ask about the doctor pushing a covered body through the hall? Why would they? They have seen the doctor do this before when she would take dead troopers from the Medical Bay to the incinerator.

Dr. Ryza pushes you onto the elevator. She presses the button for the docking bay which happens to be the same floor at one of the incinerators. The elevator stops too soon and someone enters the elevator.

“Dr. Ryza,” You hear the voice you know so well but you wish you did not.

“General Hux,” Dr. Ryza stops. The ginger general does not look down at the rolling bed but focuses on the doctor.

“I heard Lady Ren had gone into labor. Did she have a successful birth? Are the twins well?” He asks after you. You do not know why Hux would care. He has not hardly spoken a word to you since Kylo killed his wife.

Had General Hux come before she spoke with Snoke, Dr. Ryza would have happily told him the truth. She would have told anyone who came. But she cannot now. She knows Hux will tell the Supreme Leader and then Snoke may find out what she is doing.

“No. They were stillborn,” Dr. Ryza shakes her head. You cannot believe your ears. Why would Dr. Ryza say your children were stillborn?

Hux secretly pleased with the news. The First Order did not need a couple of tiny Kylos running around the base.

“I see. I am sure Lady Ren is grieving then,” General Hux stops himself from grinning.

“No. She is dead as well. She had a hemorrhage that we could not fix,” Dr. Ryza gives the information coolly. You know for damn sure that you are not dead. Why is she lying?

Hux’s heart stops in his chest. The pleasure he has is gone. He did not want you to die in childbirth. He just wanted the children to die.

“Are you alright, General Hux?” Dr. Ryza notices how suddenly he has become blank and distant.

“Where is her body?” he asks.

“She is under here with one of the twins,” She gestures to your still body, “I’m taking her to incinerated per Snoke’s command.”

Hux stares at the white sheet over you and Anakin. Breathing has become hard. There were many times he wanted to kill you but he lost his desire to kill you. He wanted to control you. He wanted to own you. He wanted you to be his. _He_ wanted to take you away from Kylo. He did not want death to that, at least not till you had been his at least once.

“Let me see her,” General Hux reaches to uncover your face. You close your eyes and hold your breath.

“I would not recommend that sir. It can be very disturbing,” Dr. Ryza stops his hand.

“I am General Hux. You will let me see her!” He snaps. He grabs the sheet and pulls it down far enough to see your face, neck and part of your chest. He notices the head of the infant. He is disgusted by the thick black hair already on the child. It is most definitely Kylo’s.

General Hux’s eyes go back to your face. She stares at your pale face. You had yet to regain your color from the blood loss. He just stares at you. You do not know how much longer you can hold your breath.

“Let me a moment with her,” General Hux orders looking up to Dr. Ryza. You take breath thought the request nearly takes it from you. The elevator door opens.

“This is our floor, sir. I must take her to-”

“I am a commanding officer. You will do as I say,” General Hux glowers.

Dr. Ryza frowns but nods. She steps out of the elevator leaving you alone in the elevator with Hux. He presses the stop button inside to keep it from moving. Dr. Ryza hopes Hux does not realize what she is doing.

“Sly. Sly. Sly,” His leather covered hands stroke your cheek. You do not flinch at his touch. He removes his hand and stares at you.

“You were the best of them all…” Hux had once thought this when he would watch you spar as a trooper. You were vibrant, talented, and determined. You never gave up. It was inspiring and exactly what he had wanted all troopers to be. You had been his dream trooper. You were beautiful too. He had once thought long ago that he would one day promote you. Then you would be free of your vows of chastity. But that was wishful thinking from before you turned into Kylo’s uppity sex slave. He hated you then. That changed once more.

“Why did you have to ruin it all for Kylo? Look where it has gotten you. You’re fucking dead,” He grabs your cheeks roughly but you do not stir despite the pain. He lets you go with a forlorn sigh.

“I could have been better to you. I would have least had the decency to get you some sort of birth control to prevent this,” He looks to the head of Anakin again. You are so glad the sleeping babe’s breathes are not being detected by the general. You are horrified hearing this weird confession from Hux.

“I didn’t give a damn when Albassa died. She was cunt and traitor. But you…I will always lament that it was not _me_ who took you from Kylo.”

You want to gag. You feel him stroking your hair.

“I never had a part of you. But I will now,” He states. You want to scream when you feel his cold lips, fishy lips on yours. You hold still.

“Even in death I feel your warmth,” He remarks. You mentally cringe. What the fuck?

General Hux unstops the elevator. The door opens allowing Dr. Ryza to see you once again. Dr. Ryza takes your bed and rolls you out. Hux stays in the elevator. He presses a button for the floor he needs again. The door closes.

“Are you alright?” Dr. Ryza asks you.

“No. He kissed me. He thought I was dead and kissed me,” You almost vomit.

“I’m sorry. But you must play dead for a little bit longer,” Dr. Ryza covers your head again.

She should be rolling you toward the incinerator but she takes advantage of the docking bay lacking troopers. Most left to go fight the Benathy with Kylo. The droids are running the docking bay now.

Dr. Ryza keeps close to the wall still. She sees the covered steps that lead to the TIE-Fighters. They are small but fast. They will get you to safety. Reaching the bottom of the steps, Dr. Ryza uncovers you.

“Follow me,” She grabs the bag and your excess items so all you can do it hold the baby.

You two start up the stairs. Dr. Ryza opens the hatch the goes into the TIE-Fighter. She helps you inside and drops the bags and your items in the floor. She takes Anakin from you.

“Why are we having to leave, Dr. Ryza? What is going on?” grab her arm.

“Snoke has ordered for you and Anakin to be killed.”

“What?” You nearly collapse but yoru legs are stronger than you think.

“He ordered me and Dr. Vruckleblurt to get rid of you two. He only wants Hanamé. She is safe with him.”

“Snoke has Hanamé?” You are horrified.

“Yes, but I do not think he wants to harm her. But he wants to kill you and Anakin. That is why you must leave. When Commander Ren returns, I will make sure he knows the truth. I have left a message on my computer for him. I know that once he knows he will get Hanamé and then you and Anakin,” Dr. Ryza tells you her plan.

“I cannot leave Hanamé with Snoke. I must go get her,” You start to turn to go back. Dr. Ryza grabs you.

“No. You go and you will die. Anakin will die. It is better for you to go with Anakin and survive. You can get Hanamé later. Please, let us go in this ship,” Ryza pleads.

You know she is right but you still want your daughter. Do you risk your death and Anakin’s to take her or wait for Ben who will save you all?

“I will go,” You decide tearfully.

Dr. Ryza nods.

“You know how to fly a TIE-Fighter, right?” Dr. Ryza assumed.

“I’ve never flown one before,” You see Dr. Ryza pale. She did not realize you did not know how to fly a TIE-Fighter. She does not know how to either.

“But I have flown a ship before. It must be the same,” You recall your lesson from Poe.

“We will have to try,” Dr. Ryza gives a stressed smile. She pulls a sling from the bag as she lets you go sit in the pilot seat. You look around at the controls. They are nothing like the controls on your Gilded Osprey. They are more similar to Kylo’s Silencer. You try to think back as to how he would fly it. You touch the gears you recognize. You begin to raise the ship slowly. It starts flying out but the ship jolts suddenly. This makes Anakin cry.

“What is wrong?” Dr. Ryza grips her seat.

“I don’t know,” You try to go forward but stopped. You turn the ship and see it is tethered to the base.

“We’re stuck. We are attached to the base,” You inform the doctor.

“Land the ship. I’ll untether it,” she volunteers herself. You lower the ship. Dr. Ryza starts out of the door btu she stops. She removes Anakin in the sling and puts the baby holding sling around you.

“I’ll be right back,” Dr. Ryza exits the ship. She goes to the base and begins to fiddle with it.

FN-3181 and FN-2198 have come into the docking bay. They see the doctor attempting to untether the TIE-Fighter that is dislodged. They come to her with guns ready. She should not be doing that.

“Hands up!” FN-2198 orders. Dr. Ryza raises her hands. She keeps glances between the locked tether and you in the ship.

“Dr. Ryza,” FN-3181 recognizes her, “What are you doing trying to release this ship?”

“It is none of your concern,” She stands up with her hands still up. She sees that she just has to give one more nudge and the tether with come loose.

“It is. Tell us what you are doing,” FN-2198 barks.

“Fuck off,” She kicks the base. It detaches. FN-2198 and FN-381 grabs ahold of the doctor. She thrashes in their hold. You look at Dr. Ryza. She mouths ‘Go!’ at you. You shake your head.

‘Go!’ She mouths again then is punched in the face by FN-3181. You know you must. You get the ship and start out. The troopers notice and begin shooting at you. They yell out to the oblivious docking bay workers. Others get their weapons and begin shooting at your ship. You do not stop. You have to get out. You have to go.

You and the TIE Fighter get out into space. FN-3181 and FN-2198 know they will have to explain this to the higher-ups. They will make Dr. Ryza explain. They turn back to take the doctor into custody. But she is no longer standing there. She lies on the floor. There is a hole in her chest. Looking behind the doctor, the troopers see a shaking officer. He must have been trying to shoot down the ship but missed and hit the doctor.

FN-3181 and FN-2198 frown knowing they are going to get in trouble for this. They just hope Snoke will not learn of this.

Snoke is unaware of the escape. He is too busy smiling as Dr. Vruckleblurt hands him the small baby girl. He looks down at the newborn tightly wrapped in a white blanket.

“Very good, Dr. Vruckleblurt,” Snoke does not take his eyes away from the product of his apprentice. The nods his head to the Supreme Leader. Snoke holds out his hand. The young doctor grabs for his throat as he feels his esophagus being crushed. His pain is ended quickly though as Snoke makes a fist and completely obliterates the man’s neck.

Snoke brings his hand to the baby’s face. He strokes her soft, smooth cheek with his twisted finger. Two cloaked figures emerge from the shadows. They come before the Supreme Leader. Snoke lowers the baby into the arms of one of them.

“Is this child of the Solo boy?” A deep voice comes from the one with empty hands.

“Yes, one of them.”

“One? Where is the other?” A soft, feminine voice comes from the one who holds the baby.

“He is worthless to us. He barely had 2,000 midi-chlorians per cell. This girl though. She has over 21,000 per cell,” Snoke gains a near psychotic grin.

“21,000! That is more than-” the deep voiced one starts to exclaim.

“I know, but it is still less than Vader. Take the baby to Exegol. See that she is raised in the ways of the Sith. No harm should come to her,” Snoke gives his orders.

“Yes, sir,” The deep one agrees.

“What are we to call her?” the softer one queries.

Snoke pauses. He never did ask Kylo what he planned to name the child. He did not care to anyhow.

“Sheeva. Sheeva Ren,” Snoke decides. The two hooded figures leave to fulfill the old man’s command.


	102. The Meteor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos! I've recently discovered that some comments that are left for me appear in my email but not on this site. So I do see all comments but it might just not pop up here and I cannot respond to ones that do not register with the site.  
> As I do see all comments, I do understand that these past two chapters have been very stressful on you all. It is not my intention to cause anyone emotional turmoil. I have tagged many things in the tags of this story in hope of preparing readers before they read this story. I do leave out many things in my tags as I think they would be spoilers. I know this story is very heavy on the drama as of now and it might not lighten up for a while. But I do fully intend to have a happy ending. It's just going to take some time. I hope you all will stick with me and stay strong.  
> Thank you all for reading this long note and this story. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 102

You zip through the sky in the TIE-Fighter not sure if you are flying the ship right or wrong. You just have to get away from the base. You have to get somewhere safe. But You do not where the hell you can go. You would contact Ben if you could but you do not have a code to reach his ship and who knows if Snoke would hear it. You would try to call Han as you have his code, but you do not know how to communicate with this ship. Why is it all so complicated?

A hologram of a female First Order officer pops up. You recognize her as the doe-eyed but tight-lipped Lt. Lusica Stynnix.

“Whoever this is, return the ship back to base now,” She orders. You do not even know what button to push to respond or turn her off.

“If you do not, we will send our ship to shoot you down,” She threatens. You look around and see two TIE-Fighters coming out behind you. You start hitting the button around the hologram.

“We see you still have turned. We will begin firing now,” She snaps and ends the call. Sure enough, green lasers shoot from the approaching TIE-Fighters. You gasp as you feel one of the blasts hit the wing of the ship. You have to get out of here. You cannot be shot down!

You look at the many levers and buttons. You see one lever marked with the very words you need. You pull it. 

You shoot through space in hyper speed. Your insides disagree with this practice. You pull the lever to stop. You find yourself in the vastness of space. You are completely lost. But you have not time to try to figure out where you are. The TIE-Fighters have followed. You have to get out of there again. You jump into hyperspeed once more.

As you speeding, you notice the TIE-Fighters are following you even in the hyperspeed. They shoot at you.

“No!” Your ship shakes as a wing is hit and explodes. You start to barrel roll in the hyperlane. You pull out of hyperspeed.

“Shit. Shit. Shit,” You try to pull up in the gears to keep from free falling in space. The ship refuses to obey. Your ship spins around and around. You are buckled to the seat but you know Anakin is not. Your arm goes to hold him tightly so he does not fly out of his sling as your other hand stays on the controls. You see your ship hurdling for a small planet. As the spinning ship breaks into the planet’s atmosphere, you close your eyes. The outer shell of the ship begins to flame during entry.

* * *

Galli and her fellow Lanais go about their daily routine of cleaning and caring for the ancient structures on their island. They do not chatter much today as they work as they want to finish quickly enough so they can watch the annual meteor shower that evening. Galli sighs and wipes at her gray, scaled forehead as she stops raking. She rests against her rake and looks to the relatively clear sky.

“Ah!” Galli points to the sky excitedly. All look to the sky and grin. It is early but the meteor show must have already started. The Lanai drop their work tools and start to take their positions to watch the shower begin.

It is the meteor but is large and bright. It is almost like a great ball of fire leaving behind a white tail that is marred with a black trail. It is unlike any meteor the Lania have seen. Their eyes stay locked on this curiosity especially as it does not shoot across the sky like the others. Instead, is it flies out of the sky toward them as if it intends to hit the planet. It could not do that though. Meteors have never struck this planet, at least not in the last thousand years. Surely, it will dissolve and be nothing but a pebble once it reaches the planet’s surface.

“Uh! Uh! Uh!” They begin to exclaim at the meteor grows large and shows its black exterior. It does not decrease in size or turn. The Lanai jump up on to their rather chicken looking feet. They run to look for shelter all the while screaming out in fear.

Galli stands still in awe and shock of the meteor that approaches. She literally cannot move. Her eyes are locked on the heated black ball coming toward her. The black wing shaped piece on it breaks off and falls down into the ocean. The ball continues forward though. Gali’s mother can only look on in horror at her daughter’s fate.

Gali’s mother gasps as she sees the cloaked hermit leaps in front of Gali. He holds out his hands toward the meteor. His fingers bend as he makes a loud growl showing he is either in pain or horribly frustrated. The meteor begins to slow but it still is a flame. It comes closer and closer till is stops just before the island. The hermit pushes out his arms and the meteor flies back and falls into the water.

“Hoo-Ray! Hoo-Ray!” The Lanai cheer as the hermit has saved them from utter destruction especially Gali. The hermit stumbles back panting. His arms hang limp at his side. The Lanai still come toward him to praise him. He ignores them and begins to talk to the edge of the island where can look down the cliff toward the meteor in the water.

“Kyaaaa!” They shriek as the hermit jumps off the little cliff. They scurry to the edge and see their savior has landed on the half-exposed meteor. They are surprised to see a windowlike circle on it.

The hermit waves his hand and the window opens. He climbs inside.

What business does the hermit have in a meteor? Many wonder. The Lanai, however, have come to learn not to question the lonely hermit. It is not their place and understanding him can already be difficult.

“Come help me!” The hermit pokes his head up from the meteor and waves for aid. The Lanai make their way down the cliff to help the hermit.

Reaching the rocky beach, the Lanai see the Hermit pulling a woman from the meteor with a cloth sling around her holding a baby. The woman has blood coming from her head. The baby in the sling cries shrilly.

“Take her to heal her. Take the baby and calm it,” The Hermit lowers the woman and the baby. Alcida-Auka, the matron of the Lanai, takes the infant and begins to rock it while many of the other Lanai have to make a group effort to carry the woman away.

The hermit goes back into the meteor. He reemerges with a few bags that he sets on the beach. After most of the Lanai go back up the cliffs carefully. The Hermit stands on the beach and holds out his hands again. His fingers bend till his hands are fists. The ball crushes in on itself causing it to be almost unrecognizable. The hermit turns and goes to follow the Lanai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was a bit short but the next should not be. My job just got shut down again thanks to the pandemic but the silver lining is that I will have more time to write! So I will try to write a lot and update quickly! :)  
> Please, stay healthy and safe, readers!


	103. Harsh Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos. It adds so much happiness to my day to see them!
> 
> WARNING: This chapter deals with depression and an attempt to take one's life. If this is something you cannot handle please SKIP TO THE END NOTES! 
> 
> Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 103

You wake with a start. You sitting straight up you fall back down with head spinning. You grab for your head and feel a soft but thick gauze around it. You rub your eyes before you can see your surroundings. You are in some sort of building. The walls and ceiling are made of either black or brown -you cannot tell quite yet- stones that are stacked. You are covered by a rather light, gray blanket. You feel something soft under your head like a pillow.

Your try to sit up again. You go about it slowly and manage to sit up properly. You see the building you are in is round and a wooden door is before your feet. You look down at your body. You are no longer in your medical gown. You are in a white dress that looks to have been smaller dresses sewn together. Feel something like underwear on your lower half but something cold is it. You do not check what it is and you do not care what it is. All you care is that it feels good. Your breasts however are in great pain.

Your eyes go to the door again. You see the bag Dr. Ryza had left in the ship before she went out to free it. The image of the doctor mouthing for you to go flashes before your eyes. You know she is dead. She died so you and Anakin could be free…

“Anakin!” You realize your child is not with you. You jump up and nearly fall when you do. You grope the wall to keep your balance before opening the door. You get it open and see you are not on Starkiller Base at all.

Your hut sits on a hill overlooking green hilly place. You can see cliffs that lead to a vast ocean. You cannot enjoy the scenery. You have to find your son. You stumble down the steps as you seek him. You can feel that he is near. No one else could be so able to sense him than you. And he feels just as his father did, warm. You have to follow the warmth. You have to follow it and find him even if your legs are weak and want to fall under you.

You raise your hands to defend yourself as you see a group of fish headed creatures coming toward you in little white dresses. They speak but you do not understand them. They do not appear violent and do not raise their hands at you. They just speak to you.

“I do not understand you. I do not understand what you are saying!” You shake your head. They point toward the hut you just came from.

“I’m not going back in there. I want my son. I need to find my son!” You start to walk intending to plow through them if you must.

“Wahhhh!” You hear a cry. You know it is Anakin. It comes from a hut higher than yours. You turn around and attempt to run. You fall but get back up. You have to get to him even if your legs are fighting against you. The creatures follow you. They come around you and assist when you fall again. You realize they do not want to harm you and are not trying to hinder you. You accept their aid as they help you get to the hut.

You open the door. Inside you see your son in the arms of another one fo the creatures. You walk straight for your child. You take him from the stranger’s arms.

“Oh, my baby. My baby,” You cuddle him and kiss his head repeatedly. You rock him lightly and feel him start to cling to you. His crying subsides and grabs at your aching breasts. You see his mouth opening and closing as if he is trying to suck something. He must be hungry.

“I’ll feed you, sweetheart,” You look around for somewhere to sit. You see a barrel looking seat. You take it and pull it out of the loose and rather low dress. You remember what Dr. Ryza told you about breastfeeding. He has to latch by having a lot of your areola in his mouth and your nipple against the roof of his mouth. It will not be the same as when Ben would suck them.

“Agh,” You cringe when he takes you in his tiny mouth and begins to suck. The milk come out sharply. The pain subsides some as he drinks. You stare at him as he drinks. His big eyes stare up at you as he sucks. You gently push aside his dark hair on his forehead. He is his father’s son. There is no denying it. Your eyes begin to tear up.

Ben…Does he know we are gone? Or does he believe we are dead? He could not believe that. How could he when Hanamé is with him? Or is Hanamé with him? What has Snoke done with Hanamé? No. I must trust that Hanamé is safe. She is safe. And Ben…he will figure this out. He will find us. He will find Anakin and me. I don’t know how but he will. Surely, this planet is on some map somewhere. There has to be a way to communicate to the outside world as well. Yes, I will find it and call him. He will come and we will all be together again.

* * *

Kylo lies awake for the third night in a row. He cannot sleep. He cannot eat. He can barely drink. He can barely do anything but lie on his bed staring at the side where you used to sleep. He still smells you on your pillow and sheets. He has locked the doors so no cleaning service can come and take away the last bit of your essence that he has left.

The memories of you haunt him. His broken promise haunts him even more. He promised to be with you and left. Being a godkiller means nothing when you are a promise breaker. You must have terrified and heartbroken. Did you know the twins were dead before you died or did Dr. Ryza lie to comfort you as you died? Kylo would trade his own life for yours if it meant you and the twins would have lived.

“I would die for you.” You had once told him. You did. You did for him. You died because he would not control himself with you. You died because he could not stop himself from fucking you and getting you pregnant.

He should have never had sex with you. He should have resisted the urge he had to make you his in that cave on Hoth. He should have listened to his logical side and never had you strip. He should have treated you like every other trooper. He should have never paid you special attention. He should have not fingered you as part of your punishment. He should not have taken it up himself to recondition you. He should have ignored the invisible magnet that drew him to you. He should have left you to be reconditioned by the First Order. He should have sent you away the moment you drunkenly groped him. Then he would not be in this pain. He would not be in this agony. You would be alive and not dead. Twins would not be dead wither as they would have never existed. He would have never fallen in love you with and all would have been as it had been nine months ago.

Nine months ago…nine months ago he was filled with hate and rage. He was the feared Commander. He was a virgin but that did not matter as he was married to the First Order. The First Order and dominating the galaxy just like his grandfather was everything. He did not care that he was lonely. He did not care that the only people he loved were far from him and his enemies. No. He was Kylo Ren the greatest weapon, the monster.

Now he is a wreck. He is nothing like he was. How could he be? You…you had changed him so much. You had given him so much. You ended his loneliness and gave him hope, hope he was not the monster all thought him. You gave him the hope that he too could be loved. You gave him the hope that he would prove himself to be a better spouse and parent than his own parents had been. You gave him hope to have some normalcy and a future that did not depend the on the deaths of others. You gave him hope that he could be Ben Solo again. His hope is gone. It left him the moment Snoke told him you died.

He knows he should not wish away your past together. If you and he had never been together then. He would have died on Hoth. He would have been shot by Admiral Gatiss. He would have less of Kessel. He would not have had as successful meetings with other planets. He would have been betrayed by Princess Alabassa. He would have never felt love. He would have always been lonely. He would have never gotten to taste fatherhood. He would not have had the most wonderful nine months of his life even though it was filled with hardships. He was able to take them all because he had you. How can he take on the new challenges of life now?

“If you die, I die.” He had said that to you. He meant it. He still means it. He is dying right now.

Kylo sits up. He looks to his desk where his lightsaber sits. He holds out his naked hand and summons it to himself. He looks to the cross shaped lightsaber he had made with his own hands. He sees where he took a strip of metal off so he could have ring forge for your ring.

He takes the turned off weapon his hand and turns it toward himself. With a push of his button the blade would turn on and pierce his chest. He would die but he would be with you. He would be with you in the beyond. You both had the force so surely you both meet in the beyond. It would be better to be dead than without you.

Kylo takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He is ready. He is ready to die.

The door to Kylo’s room slides open. In a furious fashion, Supreme Leader Snoke barges into the room and rips the lightsaber from his apprentice’s hands before striking him across the face. The hit is so hard that Kylo falls to the floor. He looks back up at his master.

“Master, what are you-”

“I can hear your depressing thoughts throughout the base. I will not let you take your life because of that girl,” Snoke tosses the lightsaber onto the bed.

“She was my wife!” Kylo gets back on his feet.

“Yes. Yes,” Snoke rolls his eyes, “But she died. You do not need to go kill yourself because she is dead.”

“I don’t want to live without her. She was…she was everything,” He feels the tears coming again. Snoke slaps Kylo once more. Kylo’s hands ball up.

“You are not the first person to lose a wife to childbirth. It happens all of the time and husbands move on. You can move on as well.”

“I don’t want to move on. I can’t…”

**_Slap!_ **

“Stop hitting me!” Snoke bares hit teeth to the Supreme Leader.

“Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself. It is no way for a commander of the First Order should act,” Snoke narrows his eyes.

“I don’t care about being a commander.”

**_Slap!_ **

Kylo grits his teeth.

“You weak, foolish child!”

“I am not a child!” Kylo unknowingly makes things begin to levitate around him.

“You are. A real man would embrace this pain and anger. Your grandfather did,” Snoke brings up Vader.

“Grandfather?” Kylo is confused by the reference.

“When your grandmother died in childbirth, Vader did not wallow in self pity in his room and attempt to kill himself. He rose up and became the most feared dark lord in the galaxy. You were to finish what he started. You are to rule the galaxy with me. You are to learn the secrets of the force. The secret of life and death,” Snoke’s eye twitches.

“The secrets of life and death?” Kylo focuses on the last part.

“Don’t you know, boy? Once you have truly mastered the Force, you can master life and death. You keep the ones you love from dying. You can even bring them back to life!” Snoke presents the one thing that could possibly intrigue the widower.

“But I can’t bring her back to life. I can’t bring the twins back to life either. You burned them!” Kylo’s force makes the raises objects in the room fly straight toward Snoke. The supreme leader deflects them.

“You do not have to have their bodies. You just need to-” Snoke stops.

“Just need what?” Kylo physically takes hold of his master’s collar. Snoke looks down at the angry desperation in his apprentice’s eyes. He has control again.

“You are not ready to know yet. You are so untrained that if I told you, you would fail and die in your first attempt,” Snoke puts his hands on Kylo’s. Kylo’s nostrils flare as he takes sharp breaths. He wants to be with you. If he can bring you back to life even without your body…then he must learn how. Kylo removes his hands from Snoke.

“I will teach you, Kylo, but you have to embrace your pain and anger. Embrace it, don’t wallow in it. I will see to it that you will surpass Darth Vader and you learn the secrets of the force, and life and death,” Snoke promises. Kylo begins to nod his head in agreement. Snoke grabs the sleep deprived commander by his chin. His faded eyes pierce Kylo’s dark one.

“But you must never disobey me again. You must never allow anything or anyone to come before the First Order again,” Snoke squeezes the chin tightly. Kylo swallows.

“Yes, sir.”

Snoke releases Kylo. He pats Kylo’s shoulders.

“Very good. Now, clean this mess,” Snoke gestures to the remains of your items that Kylo destroyed. Kylo knows he must obey Snoke now. He has to learn how to have you and the twins come back to life. He cannot take his own. He has to live so he can learn. Then he can have you once more.

* * *

You hold Anakin in your arms after you moved from the barrel seat to the rocky ledge in the room as this way you can lean against the wall for some support. You stroke his soft hair. You have to be happy that you have him. You cannot allow yourself to get heart sick over Ben and Hanamé. You cannot allow yourself to fall into depression. Anakin needs you to be strong. You have to be strong for him.

The door of the hut opens. You expect to see the fish-bird hybrid creatures that have been helping enter the room. You had hoped they would come to reclaim the now empty bowl they had given you so you could eat the fish stew they made. It is not them. Instead, a human comes with a murky green-brown cloak and hood. The hood covers most of his face but you can see he has a beard. The hair is a mix of white, gray, brown and blonde. You see he has one hand and one metal one. Something is oddly familiar about him like someone from a long-ago dream.

“Do you speak Galactic basic?” He asks.

“Yes,” You answer.

“Good. Tell me who you are and why you were flying a crashing TIE Fighter,” This man demands. His air of superiority annoys you slightly making you not want to be compliant.

“Are you like the ruler of this planet or something?” You answer with your own question.

“No. This is a free planet but I will not allow someone who will endanger me or the Lanai to do so. So, tell me. Who are you and why you crashed here in a TIE Fighter?” His tone clearly shows he does not want you to avoid his questions.

“Show me your face first,” You set out your demand. He obliges. Your teeth have to clench together so your jaw does not drop.

The man is older. It is obvious by his longer hair that has the mixed colors his beard did. He has a thick round eyebrow and thick pointed one over his blue eyes. His lips are pink and bit pouty. His skin is tanned but weathered and have a few wrinkles. His cheeks are round while the rest of his face is rather thin. His body is not very thin though.

You know this man. You have never met him but you know him from Ben’s memories. You know what he has done. You resist the urge to force choke him on the spot for what he did to Ben. 

“Now, tell me your name,” He did his part. You lick your dry lips. You cannot tell him you Lady Sly Ren. He will know you are First Order for sure. You do not want to tell him you are Ben Solo’s wife either. At least, you do not want to tell him yet.

“Meia. I’m called Meia,” You use your preferred alias.

“Meia what?” He wants more detail.

“Just Meia,” You will not tell him more just yet.

“Okay, ‘Just Meia’, why were you flying and crashing in a TIE Fighter?”

You will tell him something he might like. It is mostly the truth anyway.

“I escaped from the First Order in it. I got shot down while in hyperspeed. I fell out of hyperspeed and crashed here. That’s all I know. I don’t know how the-what did you call them-Lanai took me out of it. Btu I am grateful to them for their help.”

“You were escaping the First Order? Why?” The man keeps up his questioning.

“Supreme Leader Snoke wants to kill me and my son,” You will not lie about that either.

“Why would he want to do that?”

Why? You are not sure. You had thought Snoke wanted you to have the children and raise them for him to use. Why did Snoke try to have you two killed?

“I guess he is not a fan of stormtroopers having children,” You answer as if that is all you were.

“You are a stormtrooper?” this catches the older man by even more surprise.

“I _was._ I’m nothing to the First Order now but a runaway,” You want to make it clear you are no longer apart of that organization.

“Will they not look for you though?” he is very concerned about your connection.

“No. They will assume I have died. How we survived that crash is a mystery and a miracle,” You really do not know how you two survived the crash.

“Hmmm…good. I cannot have the First Order finding out where we are,” He likes your information.

“Why is that?” You get out your own question.

“That’s not really of your business,” He remarks. You purse your lips annoyed with this response.

“Well, if you tell me how to get off this planet and to another, I will be totally out of your business,” You bring up finding a way out of this place.

“There is no way off,” He answers.

“What?” You nearly drop Anakin.

“There is no way off this planet and no way to communicate with anyone off this planet either,” He drops a second bomb on you.

“But I have to get off this planet,” Your chest tightens in your panic.

“I’m sorry. You’re stuck here,” He apologizes but there is no conviction in his voice.

“I can’t be stuck here. I-I-I-” Your eyes well up again.

“It is how it is. You will have to just make peace with it. I have as have the caretakers,” He tells you the harsh reality. You cannot believe this. You are going to be stuck on this planet with no way to contact Ben? This cannot be happening. But it is. How will Ben find you now?

“Since we are going to be neighbors for a while, I’ll introduce myself. I’m Luke. Luke Skywalker,” He puts his hood on his head again. He walks to the door. He turns back after he opens it. “I will see you around, Just Meia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No suicide was committed. It is all in the Kylo section. If you feel safer to go back and read the chapter now, please do. Otherwise please look for the next chapter!


	104. Surprising News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I managed to squeeze in a second chapter for the day. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 104

You had Dr. Ryza’s bag and your bed moved to the hut where Anakin was put. You looked through the bag Dr. Ryza packed. Inside you found instructions for postpartum care as well as a book on taking care of babies. She packed you several pairs of underwear, the cold pads that have been helping your sore vagina and regular pads. There is first aid kit, tons of bacta ointment, food rations, and gauze. She also threw your lightsaber in the bag. She put nothing of her own in the bag. You wonder…did she know she would not make it?

You try not to think about Dr. Ryza’s demise. You want to think on her kindness and sacrifice. She could have killed you as Snoke commanded and gone on with her life. She was in a relationship with Lt. Mitaka and from what she had shared with you, it was going very well. She was the head doctor on base. She had a great life going. She gave it all up though for the sake of her patients. You will make sure she did not give it up for nothing.

You have spent a week on this island and have yet to see Luke Skywalker again. You are rather glad not to as he is the one who sent Ben down his path of darkness. Well, it is not all of his fault but he was a pushing factor. You cannot believe that the man your husband has been searching for all this time is right here with you now and by accident. You know what Kylo would want you to do. He would want you to kill Skywalker or keep him incapacitated till Kylo could come and kill Skywalker himself.

You have debated in your mind whether or not to kill the old man. You know Kylo cannot find you yet so incapacitating him would be a long process. Killing Skywalker might be harder than you would like. He is a Jedi Master after all and you are merely an apprentice who had to cut back some on her physical training due to her pregnancy. Also killing Skywalker will be very tiresome and you already so tired. You have to get up almost every three hours to feed Anakin.

Oh, sweet Anakin, he hardly cries now except when he is hungry or needs a change. You are so grateful to the Lanai caretakers who have given you so many cloth diapers and food for yourself. You lay him on his back on your bed. You wish you had a toy for him to play with but alas all of them are on Enarc.

You take his ankles gently in your hands. Slowly you begin to move his legs in a circular motion. He stares at you almost amazed at the sensation of you moving his legs without him controlling them.

“Run. Run. Run,” You say slowly but as you increase the speed of his legs you increase the speed of your voice. His mouth spreads like he is trying to smile but he has not gotten the muscle strength in his face to do it yet. You cannot wait to see him smile. You wonder if it will be just like Ben’s.

When you stop moving his legs, you brings you mouth to his bare feet and kiss them. You kiss up his rather chubby legs to his belly and chest then nearly smother his face with kisses. He emits little noises that you hope means he is happy with the affection. You pull away and see his mouth stretch as he yawns.

He must want to sleep again. Babies sure do sleep a lot. You think and wrap him up in a blanket before you take him into your arms. You stand up so you can move about with him. He enjoys the movement of your body when you hold him.

“When you're weary

Feeling small

When tears are in your eyes

I will dry them all

I'm on your side

When times get rough

And friends just can't be found

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down,” You sing the song Ben would sing for the twins. Anakin is comforted by it as are you. As you continue with the lullaby, Anakin slips into another dreamless sleep. You inhale the pure, sweet scent of his head before walking to the door of the hut with him. You open it and enjoy the breeze. You look over the island and see many of the caretakers walking about talking in their foreign language while the ocean hits the rocky beach. You lean against the door frame as you look.

You see the uncovered Skywalker coming up the hill with glass canisters filled with a green looking liquid. As he approaches you want to run back inside but you do not want him to think you want to avoid him. He cannot suspect your negative feelings toward him. He comes by and you nod to him to acknowledge his existence. He nods back to you.

“This is for you,” He holds out a canister of the green liquid to you.

“What is it?” You do not reach for it.

“Thala-Siren milk. It’s very nutritious. It should help keep you in good health,” He keeps the canister out toward you.

“Oh…thank you,” You take it from him. His eyes go to Anakin then back to you. His gaze lowers and focuses at your collar bone.

“Where did you get those?” He reaches for your necklace. You know he must be referring to your kyber crystals. You step back covering them with the milk canister. 

“I don’t think that’s ay of your business. Thank you for the milk. I must take Anakin back inside,” You turn to go back in the house.

“Anakin?” You hear his surprise in his voice. You bite your tongue. You did not intend to ever tell Skywalker your son’s name. It is one Skywalker should know too well.

You look back to the older man once you are able to put the milk down and grab the door. His bushy eye brows are shot up into his forehead as his blue eyes stare at the sleeping infant.

“Yes. His name is Anakin. Now, excuse us,” You close the door in Skywalker’s face.

* * *

General Hux is more than annoyed to have the dirt tracking Knights of Ren back on Starkiller Base. The cleaning droids are having to clean, re-clean and re-clean again as the knight file in and out of Kylo’s chambers. Hux knows the Knights are here per the orders of the Supreme Leader.

All day the knights have been moving the destroyed pieces of Lady Ren’s belongings out of Kylo’s room as Kylo is off on a mission set by Supreme Leader Snoke. Snoke instructed Hux to allow the Knights full access to the room as to clear out the “trash”. Hux has been monitoring this “clean up crew”.

The knights are utterly silent as they collect the slashed dresses, shattered toiletries and destroyed baby paraphernalia. Hux watches not necessarily moved by the process. The children that never got to use the items were not his so he has no need to feign an attachment. The bathroom trash also does not invoke any feelings. The same with the dresses. He feels nothing as the last shreds of Lady Ren are removed from the room.

Hux has no need to feel anything. He can feel on his own time in his own room. When his cat Millicent is sleeping, he allows him to think on the kiss he shared with the corpse that was being rolled away to be incinerated. He thinks on the soft warmness of the dead woman’s lips. He thinks on what he wanted to do to her dead body. He did not care if she were dead and unable to feel. He did not care that her Commander trapping snatch was stretched out form her unsuccessful birth. Had he had the time, he would have seen if more than her lips were still warm.

The knights bring in some furniture to the room meant for the children. They set it up as it had once been when Kylo would use it for meditation. It is practically indistinguishable from how it was before he met his trooper wife. The Knights nonverbally excuse themselves from the room upon their completion. They have no desire to be around when Kylo returns as they do not know how he will react to the room makeover. They also do not want to spend any more time with the pale general who lurks in the corner of the room.

Alone in Kylo’s room for the first time, Hux smirks. He has free reign to look where ever he pleases. With Lady Ren’s things being gone, it will be less fun but Hux will still enjoy invading the ever-private commander’s privacy. He will have to be careful though. It cannot look like he has ransacked the place.

Hux goes into the bathroom and begins looking at he products there. He smirks seeing that there are many hair products intended for Kylo.

“So that’s how you keep up that mess of hair,” Hux remarks to himself.

He leaves the bathroom and avoids the meditation room as he knows what is in there now. He heads to the closet and finds Kylo’s clothes are all the same. How boring.

There is nothing under Kylo’s bed but an empty trunk. He heads for the desk. He knows there will be information in there. There are many papers about meetings the Hux has also attended so it is rather boring to see. As he moves the notes, he begins to see more personal items and papers. One paper he pulls out has some beautiful calligraphy on it.

“1. You will arrive at my quarters every morning at five o’clock. 2. You will not leave my side until I dismiss you. 3. You will control your temper. 4. You will do what I say without any hesitation. If you break these rules you will be punished,” Hux reads the words aloud. He does not have to guess who this contract was for but he does wonder when it was began. He runs his finger over the paper that has a hard substance on it.

“What is-oh no!” He drops the paper realizing it is dried cum. He wipes his hands on his pants.

“Disgusting. Why would he keep a cum covered contract?” Hux is appalled. He keeps looking through the desk though.

Hux pulls out the book labeled _Cosmos Sutra_. Hux had heard of this book but had never seen it with his own eyes. He opens the book randomly and finds the book filled with drawings of persons in the most intimate of positions. There are instructions on how to perform the positions. Hux notices that Kylo has his own hand written notes in the book. Some men might have laughed at how Kylo rated the positions and gave his own critiques or comments on the pages. But Hux does not laugh. He reads them intrigued. How can he not be as he reads page after page how it was to fuck you in these different positions. Hux feels himself getting hard reading Kylo’s notes. The pictures in the book change from drawings to you and Kylo fucking. In some pictures, Hux sees himself and you fucking. In other that focus on anal play Hux sees himself and Kylo fucking, not that he wants to be fucked by Kylo...

Hux makes himself put the book away. He cannot masturbate in here. He puts the cum covered contract away then the rest of the papers. He starts to leave but stops as he reaches the door. He sees that the sloppy knights dropped a piece of one of your torn-up dresses. He picks up the silk fabric. He looks at it. He knows exactly what dress it is from as he had taken to noticing what clothes you wore. He also knows from the shape and pattern on the specific piece that it was used to covered one of you breasts. He brings it to his nose. He inhales. It smells like you. He puts it in his pocket then exits the room. He will put the cloth to work later when Millicent is sleeping and he can be free to masturbate.

General Hux goes down to docking bay where he is to check on the troopers returning from their months long training excursion. He is not necessarily excited for the task but it is important to do.

The troopers stand at attention while General Hux and Captain Phasma look over them. All seem to be in proper order and shape. With a dismissal from the general and captain, the troopers are free to get their dinner rations and go to their dorms. Just before they can go, Kylo Ren’s Silencer docks. Everyone straightens up and salutes the commander. They stand aside as he stomps his way deeper into the base. General Hux and Captain Phasma salute him in greeting but he passes without even acknowledging them.

“Ah!” A trooper falls out of line and into the path of the returned commander. He tries to get back up but Kylo holds out his hand. The trooper rise up then is thrown clear across the bay into a ship. He falls to the ground motionless. Kylo continues on his way.

All in the docking bay stare with mouth gaping open. A few medics on the sight run to attend the wounded trooper. General Hux shakes his head disapprovingly and excuses himself from Captain Phasma’s company.

FN-2187 shudders at what he just witnessed. He moves with group though in search of his food rations.

Reaching the cafeteria, FN-2187 sits with Slip and few other troopers. They eat the greenish brown sludge on their trays.

“Can you believe Ren did that?” Slip finally voices his shock from the docking bay incident.

“Oh, I can. He has been a violent rampage for the past week,” KC-1886 snorts taking her seat with the others at FN-2187’s table.

“Oh? Why is that?” Slip is genuinely curious.

“Don’t you know? I thought everyone on base knew,” Her eyes light up now knowing someone has not heard the gossip.

“We’ve been gone for months. Tell what has happened,” FN-2187 is annoyed with the lack of information.

“Well, Dr. Ryza killed Ren’s wife and child. Then she and the other newer doctor tried to escape on in a TIE Fighter. Dr. Ryza was killed during the escape then the other doctor was killed when some pilots shot him down in hyperspeed,” KC-1886 cannot smiling while she tells the horrible and not so accurate story.

“You’re full of shit,” Slip calls out the story teller.

“Excuse me?” She loses her smile.

“Kylo Ren does not have a wife,” FN-2187 purses his thick lips. He knows Kylo has no wife. He just has you and you are a sex slave.

“Yes, he did. You remember FN-1971? She managed to get Kylo Ren to marry her, make her Lady Ren, and get her pregnant,” KC-1886 revels in the looks of utter shock and confusion the other troopers who have been absent gain.

“But-but-that can’t be possible,” FN-2187 cannot believe this.

“It is. And it was nice here for a change while they were married. Ren had less outbursts. I guess he had a heart somewhere in him. Of course, since Dr. Ryza and that other doctor murdered her, Ren has been even worse than before. A few days ago, an officer mention Lady Ren in ear sot of Ren and Ren cut off his head,” KC-1886 recounts the tale she had heard about through the grapevine. The troopers all cower in their uniforms. No one wants the wrath of Kylo Ren upon them

“I suggest no one speak of FN-1971 ever again. Are we all in agreement?” Slip stands up and looks at his fellow brothers and sisters in arms. And explosive “yes” comes from all of them except for FN-2187 who no one could hear anyway. He stares down at his rations. He has lost his appetite. He gets up and leaves the cafeteria. He eyes stay on the floor as he heads to his dorm.

He cannot believe it. His best friend was forced to be a sex slave then forced to marry her abuser, forced to get pregnant and then died. It would be one thing if she died on the field. He could understand that but she died because she was murdered and by one of their doctors. Now he cannot even talk of you or else he runs the risk of being hurt by the one who probably tormented you the most. He may not be able to speak of you but he can think of you. It isn’t like Kylo Ren could read his thoughts of anything, right?

Kylo could not read anyone’s mind in this point of time except his own. His mind was raging seeing that everything in his room had changed. He senses that it was his own knights. He knows Snoke must have ordered. This must be the true reason Snoke sent him to check on their hold on Rago.

Every trace of you is gone. There is not even a scrap of fabric left of your dresses. He goes to the bed inhales the sheets without his mask. They are cleaned and not even a sniff of you can be found. HE rips the sheet in half in his frustration. He storms into his other room. He sees all the baby things have been removed and replaced with Darth Vader’s helmet on a pedestal and chair. It is just as it used to be before you came into his life.

He wants to cry. But he cannot wallow. He has to stay tough. He needs to incorporate his sadness, anger and pain into his meditation. Yes, he must meditate so he can become stronger.


	105. A Little Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! I really appreciate them! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 105

Evening has come and Anakin has been fed, changed and put to bed once more. You decide to leave the hut. You long for a shower or bath. You figure in the privacy of the darkness you can find your way down the hill and to the ocean. You could bathe in the water and return to Anakin unseen.

You make it to the water and strip. You lay stitched white dress and underwear on the rocks and carefully walk into the water. The water is cold but you need to go further. As the water reaches your womanhood, you do not mind the feeling. It is refreshing down there. You go further till you the water is about your chest. You do not mind if you head and hair get wet as your wound has been treated and the gauze is gone. You let your legs rise up so you can float in the water and wash off. It feels great to be suspended in the water.

You lay on your back in the water and float there. It is like how you did when you would meditate. You look up at the trillions of stars in the sky above you. You wonder which star would lead you back to Kylo. You close your eyes and try to focus on him. Surely, you can use the force to connect you two.

_Ben. Ben, can you hear me?_ Your heart sends out the call. You stay silent and wait for a response.

Across the stars, Kylo still meditates. His mind is not still or calm. It filled with the flashes of his past pains. He relives the betrayal of his family, the loneliness of his youth, and now the loss of his wife and children. His memories appear in the darkness that surrounds him. The voices in his head are deafening as they tell him over and over again that he must release himself of all weaknesses. He must gain power. Once he gains power he can take his revenge on Skywalker. He can show is his parents how worng they were to abandon him. He can bring you back from the dead.

_Ben._ His name is called faintly. The darkness around him keep spinning.

_Ben._ He hears his name whispered again. The darkness and his memories slow. A tiny speck of light come to his mind.

_Ben. Ben, can you hear me?_ He knows it is your voice. How can hear your voice? You are dead.

“This is a memory,” Kylo shakes his head. He knows this is just a memory trying to distract him from what he must do. He turns his mind and heart from the voice. He must shut out all distractions even the ones that come from his own mind.

You open your eyes as you feel nothing. You must not have been able to reach him. Perhaps you are too far from him. Perhaps you have lost your use of the force…

You swim to the shore. You redress and begin your ascent up toward you rock hut. You look forward to getting in a nap before Anakin wakes to feed again. You reach your hut and open the door. You gasp seeing Skywalker in the room.

“What-” Your voice is raised but you lower it to an angered whisper as you remember your son is asleep, “What are you doing in here?”

“Tell me why you have this,” Luke holds up your lightsaber. He must have gone through your bag.

“It is mine that is why I have it,” You take a step forward to be closer to your son but Skywalker steps forward blocking you.

“Why would a storm trooper have a lightsaber?” He sees no reason why a trooper would. You do not want to tell him anything about yourself but you are afraid of what he might do if you do not. What will he do to your child that he is keeping from you? He almost killed his nephew. What would keep him from killing a stranger’s child?

“Why do you think I would?” Your eyes cannot stop from glaring at him.

“I think you’re a Sith sent here to kill me. You were crafty enough to disguise yourself as a mother as to make me think otherwise. But your First Order TIE Fighter, your trophy kyber crystals on your necklace and your lightsaber almost confirm it,” He voices his theory.

“If I were a Sith intent on tricking and killing you, why would I allow my ship to crash on your planet when it could have killed me? Why would I not have more sith or First Order ships around to finish the job if I failed? Why would I not kill you in your sleep during my first nights here?” You bring up your own questions. Skywalker’s nose twitches.

“If you are not a Sith then why do you have all of these things? Why is that a trooper has not only a child but a lightsaber and kyber crystals?” He still needs answers. You sigh. You have to clear up this confusion or he might still kill you. But you will not tell him everything.

“I was a trooper in the First Order. I was discovered to have a force sensitivity. I was allowed to be trained in the force. I went to Dantooine and got four Dantari kyber crystals from the eggs of the Kinrath. I have one in my lightsaber, one I sold, and the other two were put on this necklace. I was married to my master. I gave birth to twins last week while my husband was away. My daughter has been taken from me by Supreme Leader Snoke who decided he wants me and my son dead. My friend and doctor died helping my son and I escape on a TIE Fighter. I was shot down in hyerspeed and ended up here on accident. That is all the truth. I am sure a legendary Jedi such as yourself can sense that I am not lying,” You do speak the truth and bring up his own reputation as a Jedi. Skywalker stays silent as he does his best to sense if you are lying at all.

“If your master and husband are with the First Order, he must have trained you in the ways of the Sith. He must have also wanted me dead,” Skywalker focuses on his own safety.

“He did train in the ways of the Sith and he most definitely wants you dead. He would be so pissed to know that I am trapped here with you,” You think on Ben’s anger.

“So, I was right. You are a Sith and want to kill me,” Skywalker states.

“I am no Sith. I am no Jedi. I am just a wielder of the Force. I would kill you but you are not mine to kill. So, you can calm down and stop accusing me of trying to do so,” You roll your eyes annoyed with the man.

“I do not know you well enough to trust you.”

“Well, I _know_ you well enough to know not to trust you.”

“What do you know of me?” Skywalker snorts haughtily.

“What don’t I know about you? You are Luke Skywalker, the master Jedi who defeated the Empire. Your praises have been sung throughout the galaxy and your story is even known among First Order troopers like me. You are the shining beacon in the darkness and all that shit the New Republic propaganda put out. If anything, you should be the person all citizens of the galaxy should be able to trust. But they don’t know what a fraud you are. They don’t know that you are the sort of man who would betray his sister’s trust, his best friend’s trust, and his students’ trust. They don’t know that you tried to kill your own nephew while he was asleep. They don’t know that you ran away to -I guess- this island to hide instead of admitting your sin against your nephew. But I know this. I know this and that is why I cannot trust you and will not trust you,” You make it clear what you know. You see his jaw clench and his eyes move from vanity to shock to anger. His lips tighten then open.

“My nephew was corrupted by the dark side and I was merely checking on the boy as he slept to see-”

“You checked on him with your lightsaber ignited?” You bring up the lit weapon you saw in Ben’s memories. Skywalker’s cheeks flush in his frustration.

“I-I-” He struggles to explain himself.

“You tried to kill him. Luckily, he woke and protected himself before you could.”

“I did not try to kill him!” Skywalker raises his voice. You ‘shh’ him and point to your still sleeping baby.

“I did not try to kill him,” Skywalker repeats in a hushed tone, “I sensed his darkness and it was great. It was even greater than that of Darth Vader. I knew there was light in Vader but Ben... My instinct told me to kill him before he killed the rest of us. That is when I ignited my lightsaber. But I…I could not bring myself to hurt him. He was my sister and best friend combined. I loved him. I am still ashamed that I almost acted out in fear. I am ashamed at how I failed my student. Before I could put away my weapon, Ben woke and I had to face the consequences of my actions.”

You listen to Skywalker’s side of the event. The way his blue eyes and softened voice hold such shame in them gives you the feeling that he is being honest. Had Ben been mistaken this whole time? Did Skywalker just have bad timing?

“But how do you know anything about that? You were not there,” Skywalker realizes that had been a private thing between him and his nephew. No one else ever knew the details of his shameful act.

“The force has allowed me to see many things form the past. Your failure was one of them,” You do not want to tell him you once probed Ben’s mind.

“It is something more than just the force giving you a vision,” Skywalker knows too much. He steps even closer to you. You back up till your back is pressed against the door.

“Who was your Master in the First Order?” Skywalker finally asks.

“My husband,” You answer smartly.

“Who was?”

“My commander,” You avoid answering. Skywalker’s hands ball up. You see Ben’s anger is not just form his parents.

“Who was?”

“My Master,” You go in the circle.

“Stop going in circles. Tell me clearly who was your master!” Skywalker yells.

“Wahhhh!” Anakin wakes crying. You push the yeller out of your way so you can make it to your baby. You pick up Anakin and hold his close to you. You stroke his head, rock him and hush at him in hopes of calming him.

“Look what you’ve done,” You hiss at the older man. Skywalker just stands and watches you with the baby. He makes no move to come closer to you now.

“Anakin, it’s okay. Mama is here. Mama is here,” You coo to the infant. He eventually calms in your arms. He does not fall back to sleep just yet though.

“That name. Why is he called that name?” Skywalker asks. You know your son’s name is giving away more about your past than you want.

“Because his father picked it,” You try to dance around the truth while being honest.

“Who is his father?” Skywalker’s blood is boiling.

“I think you already know.” You snap back.

Skywalker goes silent. He stares at the calm, sleepy baby in your arms. He knows exactly who this child it. Anakin looks just like the very baby that Leia and Han proudly presented to him nearly thirty years ago. Now as he stands here, Skywalker can sense the faint warmth he had felt when he met his nephew for the first time. The boy holds a resemblance of Ben’s force signature but it is not as strong as the likeness Skywalker feels between the mother and son.

“So that is how you know of what happened between my nephew and I. He told you,” Skywalker deduces.

“He did tell me but I saw with my own eyes when I probed his mind and saw his past,” You will not let Skywalker think you are a liar by saying you saw the vision.

“You probed his mind?” Skywalker is mildly impressed.

“Yes. I know Ben inside and out. I know his past and I know what our future can be once Anakin and I are reunited with him,” You look down at Anakin and hold onto the precious visions you have had of you, Ben and your children.

“Ben?” Skywalker notes your choice of name for your husband.

“He is still Ben at his core. He is still Ben with me,” Your eyes are still on Anakin whose eyelids grow heavy.

“Are you saying he is not fully given over to the darkside then?” Skywalker comes toward you again. You do not look at him. You keep looking at Anakin. You know there is light in Ben. It is as clear to you as Anakin is right now in your arms.

“Why is it that you can believe your father had light in him but you cannot believe the same for your nephew?” You finally bring your eyes to Skywalker’s. He blushes.

“It’s not that I don’t believe that it is possible, but I saw his future. I know it is full of darkness and death,” Skywalker tries to explain.

“Do you not know that visions do not always come to fruition?”

“Of course, _I_ know this,” He is insulted that you question his authority on force knowledge.

“Then why are so certain _that_ is all in store for him?”

“You are telling me that remaining in the First Order and training his wife in the ways of the Sith are signs he is going to the light?” Skywalker scoffs.

“No. Attempting to harm Snoke to defend me even though Snoke could kill us both is a sign that he is going to the light. A man who loves so fully could not be shrouded in only darkness, could he?” You share the incident from long ago. You catch the Jedi off guard again. It is funny how you keep doing that.

“I suppose not.”

You put Anakin back in his crib.

“Why is it that you know so much about the light when you were only taught darkness?” He asks you. You think on Anakin, the elder one. He came to you so often with instruction though no clear lesson.

“I cannot explain it and you probably will not believe me, but the Force made it very clear to me that I am more in light than in darkness. And though I tried to follow the Qotsisajak and the Sith teachings, I always seem to end up drawn toward the light.”

“You speak as if the Force has chosen your side for you,” His voice is less harsh and more genuinely confused.

“I don’t think it can. But maybe it can pull certain persons harder than others to the differing sides. Maybe I am so drawn to the light because Ben is so drawn to the darkness. Maybe it the force trying to create a balance,” You think of the old lessons Ben wrote for you to read and how ‘balance’ was mentioned often in reference to the force.

“Now that you are here with me, are you going to be more drawn to the darkness to create a balance with me,” He automatically assumes he is the light one.

“Just because you are a Jedi does not mean you are still on the light side,” You remark, “And besides, a balance must be between my husband and I as we are one. You are a stranger so it does not matter if we balance each other out.”

Skywalker holds his tongue and thinks on what you have said.

“You have a very interesting take on the Force. But you are still not educated enough on it. I suppose you are not well educated in lightsaber combat either,” the man dares to suggest Ben failed you in your training.

“I am very well educated in _all_ areas,” You glare. He smirks. Why is that the men in Ben’s family all smirk?

“I will hold on to this for the night. Meet me on the grassy cliffs higher on the mountain in the morning. I will see what you know there,” Skywalker starts to turn to leave with your lightsaber. He still does not trust you despite all of your honesty.

“I cannot leave Anakin alone,” You say though you had left him alone to bathe in the ocean.

“The caretakers can watch him,” Skywalker decides and leaves the hut.

You would chase after him but who knows that he would do. You lie down on your bed. You will show Luke Skywalker tomorrow that Ben trained you very, very well.


	106. Testing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the enthusiastic comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 106

After giving Anakin his morning feeding, you leave him in the care of the caretakers. You hike up the mountain toward some particularly grassy cliffs. You see Skywalker waiting there already. He looks out to the ocean as if he trying to appear pensive.

“I’m here,” You announce yourself already annoyed.

“I know,” He turns around slowly letting his eyes come to you. “How is my grandnephew?”

“Please, don’t refer to Anakin in a familial way,” You quickly give your preference. You can see the older man’s frown.

“How is Anakin then?” He inquires now.

“He’s fine. Now, what do I have to do to get my lightsaber back from you?” You do not see your weapon with him.

“I want to see what Ben has taught you,” Skywalker states.

“How do you want me to do that?” You raise your eyebrow. You are prepared to fight him if that is the test he has prepared. You will fight him despite being exhausted.

“Don’t worry. I won’t fight you today. It wouldn’t be fair after all since I’m a Jedi Master,” He chuckles to him. He must have heard your thoughts. You have to guess your shield is bit worse for wear right now.

“You should never underestimate your opponent, Skywalker,” You quip annoyed with his arrogance. Is this another family trait?

“Very true, but I have had decades of practice while you have had…how long have you been training?” He asks.

“About nine months,” You reply knowing your training is far less than his.

“Nine months?’ He is surprised by the amount of time. He is curious, did you become pregnant immediately after beginning your training?

“Yes. I got pregnant around the time we started training,” You partly answer the question he did not ask.

“Hm. Well, then I suppose Ben went very easy on you in your training then,” Skywalker assumes.

“Oh, no. My Master was sure to train me just any master should,” You will not let him think Ben is not an easy master.

“Sleeping with your apprentice is not how a master should train an apprentice,” Skywalker makes a jab at the unprofessionalism of your training. He is right. Masters should not be sleeping with apprentices. Even your first lesson in the force with Ben involved you having to use the force to undress him. Damn, that led to some great fucking.

“We were intimate before he took me as an apprentice so it was not like he took advantage of his position as my master to sleep with me,” You defend Ben even though you know he abused his Commander position to begin everything else.

“Hmmm. Well, I would hope he would not. Anyway, if he taught you properly like you claim, then give me a demonstration. Take this rock from my hand,” Skywalker holds out his hand. His palm holds a rock. You look at the object not impressed by it or the challenge. You hold out your hand and it easily flies to you.

“Very good.” He comments.

You drop the rock to the ground. You sense something flying behind you. You spin around and catch a rock flying toward you. Another comes at a different angle as does another. You are able to spin catch all before they can hit you. You know Skywalker summoned it.

“Nice try, Skywalker,” You drop the rocks as well. He nods his head.

“Tell me, what do you think the force is?” He focuses less on the physical challenges.

“The force is…” You pause. You remember what Ben told you on Hoth. Oh, to be in the cave on Hoth with Ben again… “The force is an energy that is throughout the galaxy. It is in everything and everyone. It connects us all. But it does lend power to certain persons like you and me.”

Skywalker stays quiet with lips pressed together.

“You talked before about the light and dark sides of the force. Could you explain to me what you think these sides are?” Skywalker crosses his arms. You sigh. You know he knows what they are. He is just testing you which you know. But it is rather annoying as you would rather be with Anakin right now. However, you need your lightsaber back and for him to know you are not going to kill him.

You take a moment to prepare your thoughts.

“The darkside is all about embracing your emotions and passion. You embrace it and use it to give yourself power to achieve what you want. Of course, the Sith use the dark side and follow the mantra that peace is a lie, one must gain power and with power comes freedom. The light side can be seen as denying your emotions and your own desires but it is also about embracing positive feelings, I think. With the light side there is a desire to find peace. It is not a lie like is believed by the Sith. Peace is something that can be achieved. And the light side is not something just reserved to Jedi just as the darkside is not just for the Sith. That is why Ben and I can use both sides,” You give you answer.

“That is an interesting take,” Skywalker strokes his beard, “Ben taught you that peace is achievable?”

“No. He does not believe in peace. It is something on which we disagree.”

Skywalker says nothing.

“Can I have my lightsaber now?” You hold your hand out, “I can show you my combat skills.”

“I don’t have your lightsaber,” He states.

“What?”

“I don’t have it anymore,” He starts to turn to look off the cliff. You hold your hand out and manage to pull his bod to yours and you grip his shirt. His blue eyes double at his sudden drawing to her.

“Where is my lightsaber?” You growl. He grabs your hand and pulls it off his clothes.

“You will have to find it,” He throws your hand off him and starts to walk away. You try to use the force to bring him back but he is able to resist this time.

“For someone who is supposed to be light, you sure are using a lot of the dark side,” He tuts his tongue smugly.

“For someone who is supposed to be hero, you are sure are a disappointing asshole,” You spit at him and turn from him to walk away. You do not want to play his games. You sense him reaching for you but you move out his reach and turn to look at him.

“You do not talk to me like that, girl,” His eyebrows dip down together as he scowls, “I am-”

“I can speak to you however I like. I am a grown _woman_. I don’t care if you Jedi Master Luke Skywalker,” You interrupt him, “To me you’re just a man trying to make me play games I don’t have time for right now.”

“I am not playing games. I am testing you.”

“I don’t want to be tested. There is no need for _you_ to test me. You are not _my master_ ,” You make it clear.

“No, I am not. But I am the only person on this island who can help you if I deem you able to be helped,” He intends to draw you into his game.

“How could you help me?”

“I can train in the light side of the force.”

“How will that help me and Anakin get off this planet?” You feel your emotions have risen too high. You need to go before your hormones and frustration makes you cry. You will not cry in front of him.

“It won’t but it will-”

“If it won’t help me get off this planet then it will not help me. You have wasted my morning and vexed me to the max. Until you can actually help or are going to give me my lightsaber back, I don’t want to talk to you,” You turn you back to him once more.

You go down the path back toward the huts. You find Anakin asleep in the cradle with the caretaker looking on him. You smile to her before she leaves you with him. You look at him. He sleeps so peacefully. You wonder…does Hanamé sleep this peacefully where ever she may be?

You touch your kyber crystals. You think on the little time you had with your daughter. You are already forgetting what she looks like. What did she look like? Your eyes fill the painful tears.

Ben, find her. Find Hanamé then find us. Please, Ben. Your heart pleads. You hope even from this distance Ben will hear your cry.

Kylo does not.


	107. Suspicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I tried to update quickly haha. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 107

Jyn Naberrie could not stay away from the Ren household on Enarc. How could she? She has yet to here from her best friend about whether or not she has given birth. It has been a month since they last spoke so her forty-week mark has been long since passed. You promised you would contact her once you gave birth and came back to Enarc. Had you forgotten?

Jyn knocks on the door of the white house you had been residing in over the past few months. She crosses her arms above her more noticeable baby bump. Robal stands next to her though he had no wanted come as surely you would have sent for them.

“Hello,” ZZ3P0 answers the door.

“Hello, where is Lady Ren? Has she returned to the house yet?” Jyn jumps right to the purpose of her visit.

“No. Neither Lady Ren nor Commander Ren have returned here for the past several weeks now,” ZZ3P0 gives out the information.

“Where did they go?”

“Back to base.”

“Have you heard when they will come back here?” Jyn keeps questioning the droid.

“No. But if you wish to contact them, I suggest going to the First Order Headquarters and using their transmitter,” ZZ3P0 suggests. Robal and Jyn both frown.

“Thank you, ZZ3P0,” Robal nods to the droid.

“Oh, of course. I love to help,” the droid claims in the cheeriest voice a droid can muster. 

Robal and his wife turn from the droid and house to return to the land speeder that brought them to the house. Robal helps his wife inside the vehicle before taking it upon himself to drive them away.

“I guess we will just go back to Naboo now,” Robal figures.

“No. We will go to the First Order Headquarters,” Jyn decides making Robal break suddenly. He looks back at his wife.

“We can’t possibly go there. What if someone recognizes us?” Robal voices his concern.

“We were freed and it is on record from Kylo Ren himself. We will be fine, Robal,” Jyn touches her husband’s shoulder.

“Still, someone might not have read the updated records or some asshole might just want to get revenge on us for a past grievance,” Robal puts out the possibilities.

“Did you wrong someone in the past?” Jyn asks.

“No, but-”

“I haven’t either. We should be fine and if anyone tries to accost us, I will pretend to go into labor which would freak anyone out,” Jyn makes the plan.

“Jyn, I don’t like that plan.” Robal furrows his dark eyebrows.

“It would work but we are not even going to need a plan. We will just go and make our communication to the Starkiller Base. Then Meia will reply to us and we can figure out what is going on, okay?”

“I don’t know,” Robal’s lips are puckered. Jyn sighs then puts on a grin.

“Pull the landspeeder over there,” Jyn points to a shaded tree grove off the side of the path.

“Why?” Robal is confused by his wife’s new instruction.

“I am going to give you an incentive,” She keeps her grin.

“And incentive? To go to headquarters?”

“Yep.”

“I doubt anything would make me feel more inclined to go to headquarters,” He mumbles but pulls off to where you pointed. He turns his chair around so he can look at Jyn. She gets out of her seat an onto her knees before her husband.

“What are you doing?” He puts his hands on her shoulders as he does not want his thirty-two week pregnant wife to overexert herself.

“Giving you an incentive,” Jyn hands go to the button on his pants and undoes them quickly. Robal blushes as he realizes what Jyn intends to do in the public, outdoor area. Still, he hardens despite his embarrassment.

Jyn’s hands encourage more growth before she finds him stiff enough. She takes him into her mouth.

“Jyn…ah…you don’t have to…oh, Jyn,” he moans and starts to forget to protest as her tongue swirls around his tip and her hand cup his balls. It has been some time since Jyn gave him a blowjob, four months in fact. Once she hit her third trimester her sex drive has also diminished greatly. He would never hold that against her though. If she never wanted to have sex again but would stay by his side forever, he would be content. But getting this surprise is absolutely welcomed.

“Jyn, I’m going to…oh, Jyn!” He grips the driver seat as Jyn takes all he has to offer. She gulps it down and wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. She smiles to Robal who pants.

“Now, we will go to headquarters, right?”

He nods as he would agree to anything she wanted after that. Jyn puts her husband’s lower appendaged back in his pants before returning to her seat. Robal sets them on course for the headquarters. Jyn smiles looking at the back of Robal’s still pink neck.

When they arrive at the headquarters in the city, Robal helps Jyn out of the landspeeder. They head for the entrance. Two-armed troopers step in front of them to block the doors.

“What business do you have here?” The taller of the two addresses the couple.

“We want to send a communication to Starkiller Base,” Robal speaks up.

“Who are you that we should allow that?” the shorter asks. Jyn’s eyes go to the troopers’ tiny numbers on their armor. She smiles.

“QT-5197, It’s us, FN-1226 and FN-0878,” She addresses the taller one. He is silent then lowers his gun.

“Damn. What are you two guys doing here and out of uniform and pregnant!” He points to Jyn’s stomach.

“We were released from the program by Kylo Ren,” Robal answers.

“What? No way,” QT-5197 is in disbelief.

“You know these guys?” the shorter trooper asks.

“Of course. We trained together as younglings,” QT-5197 informs his coworker then turns back to Jyn and Robal, “I just can’t believe you two are not in the First Order anymore.”

“It was surprising to us too,” Robal admits.

“Wow. The other guys are going to shit themselves when I tell them. And Kylo Ren let you guys go?”

“Yes. You can check the records yourself and see,” Jyn is sure to mention this in case there was doubt.

“Wow. Wow. Wow,” QT-5197 cannot stop repeating his exclamation.

“So can we go inside now? We need to contact Lady Ren,” Jyn points to the doors behind the troopers. The troopers go silent and look at each other before looking back at Jyn.

“You won’t be able to do that,” the short one says.

“Why not? If you let us in we can-” Jyn starts.

“It doesn’t matter if we let you inside. You won’t be able to reach Lady Ren,” the short one cuts Jyn off.

“Why not?” Robal is the one to question this.

“We’re not really supposed to mention it but…” QT-5197 looks around to see if the one he fears most is nearby. Commander Ren always seems to show up announced and he knows the commander would nto like him saying this. “Lady Ren died.”

Color drains from Jyn’s face.

“She died?” Jyn’s eyes are immediately wet. 

“Yeah. According to JP-9929 who just came from base, Lady Ren and her baby were killed,” QT-5197 relays the gossip.

“Killed?” Jyn whispers the word.

“Mhm. Some say it was the doctor but a few of us wouldn’t be surprised if that is just a cover for the truth.”

“And what is the truth?” Robal’s hands go to hold Jyn’s shoulders. He feels her trembling in his hands.

“We think Kylo Ren probably killed her. He’s always going into a rage and destroying stuff, right? I bet he got mad at her killed her,” QT-5197 gives his theory.

“Thank you for the information. Let’s go,” Jyn suddenly turns and heads to the landspeeder. Robal nods his head to the troopers and goes with his wife.

“Jyn, I-” He comes to her side. He can see now the tears flowing down her cheeks like two great rivers. He puts his arm around.

“Take me away from here,” Jyn tries not to sob. Robal nods and gets her into the vehicle. He hears her trying to breathe normally but it is hard. They arrive at their small ship that will take them back to Naboo. Robal helps Jyn out of the landspeeder and does not fail to see that she is still trying not to make a verbal cry.

They get on their ship. Once the door shuts to seal them inside with the ship driving droid, Jyn starts to fall to her knees. Robal catches her.

“Jyn,”Robal holds her close.

“Robal, I-I can’t believe it. I can’t! She can’t be dead,” Jyn finally sobs.

Robal gently lets them both go to the ground but he keeps her in his arms. He strokes her hair.

“I can’t believe that she…that she…” Jyn cannot even make a full sentence. She just cries. She clings to Robal. He keeps his arms soft but secure around her.

Robal thinks on the information. There is no way that Kylo would kill you or the baby. First, off the rumor is already wrong as you were having twins not just a single baby. But that could just be a gossip error. Second, Robal has seen you and Kylo. He was the witness at your wedding. And after reconnecting with you, Robal easily saw the devotion and love you two had for each other.

Though Kylo was absent during most of the visits between the Naberries and Rens, Robal had seen the way you lit up as you spoke of Kylo. He was shown by you all the effort and touches Kylo put into making their house a home on Enarc.

On one occasion, when the Naberries were permitted to spend the night at the Ren household, Robal woke and sought a beverage in the kitchen. As he got some water, he had to duck down when Kylo returned home. You somehow knew he was home and came out to greet him.

“Ben,” you had called him. Robal knew some about the truth about Kylo Ren. His family and Kylo’s were connected. When Robal had returned home, he was updated on the family drama including the turn of his cousin Ben Solo to the First Order’s Kylo Ren.

Kylo called you by a name Robal had not heard before.

“I was beginning to worry you would not make it home,” You had voiced your concern.

“Well, I have. Did you have fun with your friends?” He did not seem very interested in the answer.

“Oh, yes. Jyn, Robal and I went into the market today and I got the sweetest baby clothes for the twins. The girl’s outfit has hand stitched Tarisian roses all over it and the boy’s had-” You stopped your gushing about your day and gain a tone of concern again. “What’s wrong, Ben?”

“Nothing. Tell me about the clothes,” Kylo deflected.

“No. I sense something is wrong. Tell me what is it?”

“I said it is nothing!” Robal cringed hearing the anger in Kylo’s voice. Robal wondered if the commander would start destroying the house or worse, hurt his wife? Would Robal stand up to protect you if Kylo started to abuse you? Rbal knew he would not be strong enough to protect you but if he needed to, he would stand up for you.

“Ben,” Your voice was calm, “Tell me what is wrong.”

Robal readied himself to come to your aid.

Kylo sighed.

“Snoke has ordered I go back to Kessel tomorrow,” his voice had calmed.

“Okay. ZZ3P0 can see Jyn and Robal off after we leave,” You planned.

“You cannot come with me,” Kylo ruined your plan.

“What?”

“Snoke has ordered that I go alone. I will be gone for the rest of the week at least. This means you will have to go back to Starkiller Base alone for your check up next week.”

“Why can’t I come?” You were the one getting irritated now.

“Snoke thinks your condition is too delicate to be traveling that far.”

“Well, that’s a bunch of bullshit. I fly across the galaxy to go to base every week and have had no problems with my pregnancy. Kessel is closer to us than base is too,” You huffed.

“I know but we cannot disobey Snoke,” His voice holds irritation again.

“We could.”

“No. Snoke would-”

“Did Snoke really say he did not want me to go or are you just saying that because you don’t want me to go?” You put out the possibility that Kylo lied.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You think I want to be apart from you?” Kylo’s voice raised.

“Be quiet, Robal and Jyn are sleeping!” You hushed him.

“Who fucking cares? It is my house!” Kylo grew even louder.

“I care. I don’t want you disturbing them,” Your voice was quieter again.

“You accuse me of lying in order to get away from you and now you are telling me to be quiet so I don’t wake up _your_ friends?” He did not lower his voice.

“How do I know you aren’t trying to get away from your fat ugly wife so you can-can-can do whatever you want on Kessel?” You had started to cry. Robal knew this had be a side effect of your pregnancy hormones. Jyn had also started fights that were based on her feeling unattracted and unwanted.

“This. This what you think of me? You think I think you’re fat and ugly and I want to get away from you? You’re being fucking paranoid,” His voice had decreased in volume but not in frustration. You started crying.

“Stop crying. Stop,” Kylo ordered.

“No. I am allowed to embrace my emotions,” You blubbered. Robal was ready to here a slap. Surely, Kylo would not put up this and silence you with a hit. The sound never came. In fact, your crying seemed muffled.

Is he smothering her? Robal began to think. He decided to peak over the counter. He lifted his head enough so his eyes brown eyes could look over to where the other couple were. He nearly fell back down when he saw Kylo’s helmet. But it was resting on the counter so he knew it was not the commander not looking at him. Robal looked over and saw Kylo holding you close to his chest. It was the first time Robal had seen Kylo with his mask off since the wedding. Robal ducked down behind the counter so he could remain unseen.

Kylo called you by the name that was not Meia, Sly, Lady Ren or FN-1971.

“I am telling the truth about Snoke’s orders. I don’t want to be away from you. That’s why I’m mad too. Can’t you see that?” His voice was soft.

“I know…I just…I don’t want to be apart from you. And I…I feel like I look like a fucking Hutt. And I know I haven’t made being with me easy lately. I mean I literally kicked you out the bed last night,” You sniffled. Kylo laughed. It was a strange sound for Robal to hear.

“I don’t want to be anywhere but in the bed with you even if it mean you’re going to use your beautiful legs to kick me till I fall off the bed,” He chuckled.

“You do?”

“Yes. But I have to do this short mission then I won’t leave your side again till the twins are born,” He declared.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Robal heard them begin to kiss then leave the room. It was then that Robal could go back to Jyn’s side. Luckily, she had slept through the fight.

Robal knows that Kylo loved you so he would not have killed you. At no point did Robal witness violence against you. Kylo seemed to have controlled himself with you. He loved you. He could not be the one who killed you.

If anyone killed you, it would have had to have been the doctor. But even so, maybe the doctor did not. Robal knew Dr. Ryza as did Jyn. She was not the sort of woman who would kill someone. She was always trying to help not hurt. It is all very suspicious to Robal.

* * *

Leia stands overlooking her personal map of the galaxy. She frowns seeing how many have turned red as a sign of aligning with the First Order. She cannot believe how many have given up faith in the New Republic.

A beep from one of her holopads in her room draws her eyes from the map. She walks over and answers the call. She smiles as she sees the current matriarch of the Naberrie family.

“Aunt Sola,” Leia greets the older woman.

“Leia, I have some concerning news,” Sola’s wrinkled brow is puckered.

“What is it? Has Naboo fallen to the First Order?” Leia inquires.

“No. We are still apart of the Republic. My news is more…personal.”

“Please, feel free to share with me,” Leia takes a seat at her desk so she can be ready for any information that is given.

“I spoke to you about the joyful return of my grandson Robal a few months ago.”

“Yes.”

“I failed to tell you how he returned. I only did not tell you as Robal asked me not to do so. But Robal was captured by the First Order as a child. He was trained as a trooper and then about nine months ago, he was released and freed from the First Order after he was chosen to witness a wedding of a superior officer,” Sola informs Leia. Leia already knows now from Han who was at the wedding.

“He was a witness at the wedding of Kylo Ren. I know Kylo Ren is actually your son Ben. I am sorry for not telling you this before now,” Sola apologizes.

“It is fine, Aunt Sola. I learned by someone else about the marriage.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, then I suppose you knew about the pregnancy of twins,” Sola brings up the news of Leia’s impending grandparenthood.

“Yes, I have,” Leia smiles. Sola does not smile though.

“In the recent months Robal and his wife have been in contact with Ben’s wife. They knew her from the First Order. They have been to visit with them.”

“They have?” Leia is curious as to how those two were able to visit with you and Ben when you two are off on Starkiller Base.

“Yes. Ben and his wife were moved to Enarc as it has fallen to the First Order. Hyperlanes between Naboo and Enarc are still open and so my grandson and his wife would go visit.”

This is all news to Leia. She cannot believe that her son and daughter-in-law have been living so close to Naboo.

“I see. Well, thank you for the information,” Leia believes the conversation is coming to an end.

“That is not all, Leia,” Sola can see her niece’s misconception on what is the news that needed to be told.

“Oh?”

Sola takes a deep breath.

“Robal and Jyn were on Enarc today. They went to see the girl. Her due date is long past and she should have returned to Enarc by now.”

Leia thinks on this. It is true. Form her own calculations, you should have given birth at least a few weeks ago. You said you would inform of this and of when Ben would change his mind and come back to her.

“Was she not there?” Leia inquires.

“No. When Robal and Jyn went to the First Order headquarters to make contact, they learned that…Leia, I am sorry, but the girl has died alongside her children. She was killed,” Sola drops the bomb on her niece. Leia’s face remains still as stone.

“Who killed them?” Leia’s voice is low.

“It is believed that the attending doctor killed them or…Kylo Ren might have,” Sola dreads to say the other option.

“I see. Thank you for this information, Aunt Sola. But I must-I must go,” Leia ends that call before Sola can say anything else. 

Leia face goes into her hand that is held up by the arm propped on the desk. Silent tears are shed as she shakes her head. She cannot believe it. Her grandchildren are dead. She did not even sense it. And what is worse is that her own son, the father of the children might have been the one to kill them.

“No,” Leia lifts her face out from her hand. Ben would not kill his wife and children. Even if he is Kylo Ren now, he would not. It was more than clear that you loved Ben and even without him there, Leia knew Ben loved you. Just the mere fact that you knew so much about his past and referred to him as Ben Solo let Leia know her son is still Ben inside and Ben would not do such a thing.

It must have been the doctor. Leia picks her murderer. But she cannot believe it was the doctor alone. Snoke must be involved in some way.

Leia’s heart aches. Her son…Ben…he must be devastated. He has lost the woman he loves and their children. She has to hope he will not turn even more into the darkness, but she knows that he may very well do that. He has no one to try to lead him to the light now. She wishes she could be there for Ben right now. He needs his mother and his father.

His father…Leia has to tell Han this. But…how? How can she tell him without breaking his heart? Since their conversation confirming that you were not a psycho, Leia and Han have talked often. They have more than “talked” on the phone. But whenever the grandchildren were brought up, she could hear that joy and excitement in his voice. Even last night he spoke of how he cannot wait to be all reunited when the twins are born and you will convince Ben to come back.

Now, she will have to take that from him. She wishes she could never tell him but he has a right to know the truth and in a timely fashion. It will allow for him to have time to grieve.

Leia picks up the transmitter she uses to call Han. She punches in his number and waits for him to answer. A part of her does not want him to answer this time.

“Hello?” He does answer.

“Han.”

“Oh, hello, your worshipfulness,” She can hear him grinning as he teases her with the old nickname, “We just talked last night. Could not handle going twenty-four hours without hearing my sexy voice again? Hahaha.”

“Han, I have to tell you something,” Leia’s voice is soft and somber. Han loses his playfulness.

“What’s wrong, Leia?” He gains his seriousness.

“I have learned through a more than reliable source that...” Leia pauses it is so hard to say allowed, “Meia and the twins…have been killed.”

There is radio silence.

“Han? Did you hear me?” Leia makes sure she did not lose contact.

“Who told you this?” Han wants the source.

“My aunt on Naboo. You know her grandson and granddaughter-in-law. They were contact and long story short, they learned that Meia and the twins were killed by a First Order doctor,” Leia gives more detail.

The transmitter is silent again. She senses Han’s anguish despite being on opposite sides of the galaxy.

“And Ben…did they hear anything about Ben?” Han asks after his son.

“No,” Leia will not tell him about the suggestion that Ben did the killing.

Han is quiet again. Leia does not speak either.

“I have to go. I’ll talk soon,” Han abruptly ends the call. Leia puts the transmitter down. She hangs her head and shakes it mournfully.

Han put his transmitter down. He leaves his room and heads to the cockpit to join Chewie. The walking rug asks after Leia as he assumes that is who called. Han stares off into the stars ahead. Chewie is confused by Han’s reluctance to speak. It is when Chewie sees the tears leaving the gray-haired man’s old eyes that he puts the ship on autopilot.

“Chewie, what are you doing?” Han snaps at his copilot. Chewie returns with his own question about what happened on the call. Han turns his face from Chewie although their chair has swiveled so they see each other.

“Leia called…she has learned that Meia and the twins…they were killed…” Han cannot look at his best friend as he struggles to get the information out. Chewie cannot express verbally the comfort he wants to give his friend. So, the Wookie takes Han into his arms and hugs him. There is no better way for a Wookie to comfort another than by hugging.


	108. An Agreement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you all for the comment and kudos! I know these chapters have just been filled with heartache. Power through and please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 108

You have started taking Anakin with you as you walk about the island. You want some exercise and you read fresh air is good for the baby. If this is going to have to be the home for you two till you figure a way off the planet, you two should get to know the layout of your land.

You sit on a flat grassy part of the island with Anakin. You have laid a blanket on the ground Anakin does not have be directly against the grass.

You cannot believe that Anakin is already a month old. His body is so chubby like his body is made of sweetrolls. You are not too surprised that he is a chubby baby as he loves breastfeeding. It is nearly impossible to get him to stop. He is too much like his father in that way. Also like his father his eyes have become darker than they were at birth (you read this in your baby book as well). You glad that this change occurred. The more Anakin looks like Ben the better in your mind.

“Peekaboo!” You open your hands so Anakin can see your face. He smiles as your face come back to his sight. You love that he has started smiling. Every time he smiles, he shows off the dimples in his cheeks.

You cover your face again. You open your hands.

“Peekaboo!”

Anakin squeals when you reappear. You lean down and kiss his juicy cheeks before continuing with your game. You stop when you sense someone watching you. You look over your shoulder and see Skywalker walking behind you on the path. He is descending from the higher places.

You have not interacted with him since you left him on the cliffs. He still has left you cannisters of Thala-Siren milk. You drink the rather citrus flavored milk but only because you grow tired of trekking to get fresh water some mornings. You know this must be his way of showing he cares about your and Anakin’s well-being.

You face forward again. You return to playing with Anakin. You see that the brown and white birds with huge brown eyes have gathered near your blanket. Anakin turns his head and look at them. He reaches for one with an excited smile. The birds nervously flap away. You chuckle as Anakin watches the birds leave confused.

You take a deep breath. As you inhale you can smell that the air is thick with moisture. You look up and see the sky has become covered with dark gray clouds. You collect Anakin and your blanket. You want to get back to the hut before it starts to rain.

You start down the path but you are barely two steps down when the sky opens and rain pours down. You cover Anakin with the blanket so he will not be as wet. You allow yourself to get drenched. It is not the first time you have been soaked by a rainstorm and probably will not be the last. You feel the stones under your feet have grown slippery. You do your best not to fall. You even turn your feet sideways so you have more balance as you go down. You do your best to avoid the large sharp rocks that have popped up on the side of the trail.

It grows harder to see as the enormous raindrops splash right into your eyes. You clutch Anakin close to your chest but he cries disliking getting wet through the blanket.

“It’s okay, Anakin,” You try to tell him but the roar of the rain practically drowns you out. You stop suddenly as you hear squawking near your feet. You are barely able to see the brown birds scurrying in front of your feet.

You wipe at your eyes as you wait for the passing bird but the raindrops keep refilling your eyes. You can barely and no longer hear squawking. You step forward. Your foot lands on a silent bird. Jumping back in shock you slip.

“Ahhhhhhhhh!” You scream feeling yourself be impaled. The sharp stones you had been avoiding go through your back and out your abdomen. You hold Anakin up to keep him from suffering the same fate at you. The pain is unbearable but you must bear it. You have to suffer and stay there. You have to keep Anakin up in the air. You can drop him. You have to stay exactly where you are.

You cannot breathe deeply. Your core where you are impaled is numb as are your arms that shake while holding up the crying Anakin. You cannot feel the lower half of your body at all. It does not matter what you feel. You just have to keep Anakin up. You have to live long enough for someone to come and take him from your hands.

“Anakin,” You try to call his name and blood begins filling your mouth and spilling out into the rain. Your arms shake and you know you cannot hold Anakin anymore. Your arms are going to give out.

“Meia!” You hear your name. Anakin is taken out of your arms just as your arms fall to your side. You see Skywalker holding Anakin. His large blue eyes run over your body. Your vision begins to dim. You look to Anakin.

“Tell him… tell him I loved him. Tell him his father loved him. Please…please, take care of him…please let him be…be loved…,” You sob knowing you are reaching your end.

Ben…Hanamé, I’m sorry.

“You are not dying here,” Skywalker lays Anakin on the ground where he cannot be hurt. Skywalker cradles you though many sharp rocks point at him. He lifts you. You groan as the rock is rubbing your nerves again. Skywalker lays you down next to the still crying Anakin. You bring your hand to hold his tiny one. You turn your head to look at Anakin. You want to die looking at someone you love.

Skywalkers sits on his knees next to you. He holds his hands over your large gaping wound. He closes his eyes so he can focus. You do not look at him though. You only look at Anakin’s big brown eyes. They are so much like Ben’s…

“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” You inhale sharply as feel a cold yet burning sensation in your wound. Your toes and legs regain feelings as do your arms and torso. You look away from Anakin to Skyalker’s hand. You see the hole is disappearing. You look up to Skywalker who keeps his eyes closed. You feel your entire body feeling lighter, stronger, and whole. THe blood that had come into your mouth recedes and leaves even your face where it had gone. You feel no more pain. You do not even feel pain in your pelvis. The hole is replaced by unmarked flesh. Skywalker pulls his hand away and falls back but he catches himself. He pants but looks at you. You gawk at him. Did he just heal you?

“You and Anakin need to get inside,” He instructs and points a rather shaky finger toward where the huts are. You pick up Anakin feeling as if you could carry the whole planet if you needed to and you start walking.

Looking back, you see Skywalker is not getting off the ground. You go back to him. You offer your hand to him. He looks at it. You shake it as a signal he should take it. He does. You help him to his feet. You let him lean on you as you start back to the huts.

You make it to your and Anakin’s hut. Skywalker takes a seat as you move to Anakin’s cradle. You begin to get him out of the wet blanket and clothes. You take off your own wet clothes not caring that Skywalker sees you naked. You quickly recover yourself with another white dress that is not soaked by rain and blood. You tuck Anakin’s cold, naked body into your dress so you can share body warmth with him. You toss Skywalker a dry blanket before taking another dry blanket to wrap yourself. Anakin fcalms.

“What did you do to me?” You finally ask.

“I healed you,” He answers wrapping himself up in the blanket.

“How?”

“I used the force,” His left hand comes out of the blanket to rub his forehead.

“The force can be used to heal people?” You come to sit by him.

“Yes, but it takes much training and focus to do it,” He lowers his hand and does not look to you, “It is also _very_ draining.”

“I see…” You mumble. You stare at Skywalker. He is paler than before and his body trembles but not from the cold but something more like fatigue. You look to the bloody dress you took off, then to Anakin then back to Skywalker.

You cannot believe it. He saved your life. You have ignored him for weeks and acted sort of like a bitch to him. He could have easily left you out there to die. He could have let Anakin die as well. He would not have to put up with either of you anymore had he not come. But he did come. He came and saved your life. He healed you, all of you.

“Why did you save me?” You ask. He looks to you.

“It was the right thing to do,” He replies. You press your lips together.

“Thank you,” You have to express your sincere gratitude. He just nods his head accepting it. You feel rather bad for treating him rudely before but he was being a bit of an arse when he stole your lightsaber and started testing you. You suppose he has made it up to you now. He did just save your life.

“I really mean it. Thank you. I would have died and Anakin as well had you not come. Thank you,” You touch his hand and give him a genuine smile. His lip corners turn up slightly.

“You’re welcome,” He replies.

You two sit silently together. You feel Anakin fall asleep against your chest. You look over to Skywalker who rests his eyes. You still cannot believe that he saved you and by using the force. You look down slightly ashamed of how you have been treating him. He does seem to really care about you and Anakin. If he did not, he would not have saved you and he would not be bringing that milk all of the time. And it seems the healing you has cost him something as he seems physically overexerted now. You probably will never be able to repay him for saving your life. But you suppose you can be kind to him from here on out, as long as he does not act too much like an arse. Still, maybe you could learn from him. If you could learn to force heal then you could be able to save Anakin one day or Ben or Hanamé. Also if you become stronger in the force then you could reach Ben. Maybe you should let him train you…

“Skywalker,” You make his eyes open.

“Yes?”

“Will you teach me to force heal?” You ask. He bats his eyes surprised by your request.

“Um, it is not something that can easily be taught. You have to undergo much training in many areas when approach fore healing,” he makes it seem like you need him to train him but you have already accepted this in your mind.

“Then will you train me in all the ways?”

He smiles.

“I suppose I could find the time.” He acts as if he has something better to do on the island.

You start to smile but stop.

“I will not call you Master though,” You have to make it clear. Skywalker will not be your Master. Only Ben is your master.

“Then just call me Luke and let me be called ‘Uncle’ by Anakin,” Skywalker gives the alternative.

“Okay, Luke,” You nod in agreement.

You stay in the hut till the rain lessens. Luke stands as he prepares to leave.

“We will begin training in the morning,” He decides. You nod your head again. Luke leaves your hut. You look to Anakin who is still nestled against your chest.

“I will do whatever it takes to protect you. I promise.”


	109. Let Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! You are all just so amazing and make me so happy that I shared this story with you all. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 109

In the night you struggle to sleep though Anakin sleeps soundly near you. It could be due to your fully restored body. But still, you need to rest so you may be ready for training the next morning.

“Maybe I should meditate and allow that to lead be to sleep,” you think out loud. You stay flat on your back and close your eyes. You let your feelings and mind go out to the force. Your mind goes to the clam still lake with the bird that flies consistently in the sky. You feel your body floating in the water. The single sun warms you while the water cools you. It is peaceful, soothing, balanced.

Just as you are growing comfortable, the peaceful lake you lie in begins to ripple. The sky darkens and the bird flies away. Your body falls through the water. You do not panic. You do not suffocate either.

You fall through the water but your feet land firmly on a black stone. You are surrounded by a dark, dank stone. You hear a faint cry in the distance. It sounds like Anakin but it is not. It is a cry you have heard only once before you were forced from Starkiller Base. You chase the sound.

You run as the cry grows louder. You find a doorway cut into the stone but no door in it. You can enter the room. You see the room is empty except a chair, table and a cradle. You approach the cradle made from the black stone. You look inside.

“Hanamé!” You gasp seeing the crying, babe. She has whisps of Ben’s dark hair and makes the same face Anakin does when he cries. You try to pick her up to soothe her. You want to hold her close, kiss her, take her away, and never let her go again. Before your hands can reach the child, another pair of hands grab her.

You turn your head and see a woman in a black cloak. Her hood is down so you can see that she has long, straight black hair and bangs cut straight across above her thin eyebrows. Her face is long, wide and sharp like her brown eyes. Her nose is straight and does not stop short. Her pale pink lips create an oval shape when shut. But the woman smiles showing off rather white teeth.

“Sheeva, it’s okay,” The woman holds Hanamé closely.

Sheeva? Why is she calling Hanamé “Sheeva”?

“JIe-Jie is here. Are you hungry?” This woman takes Hanamé over to the chair. She sits and opens her cloak. She pulls out her breast and you watch as Hanamé latches on. She is calm s she eats. Your breasts ache at the sight. You cannot believe your daughter is being breast fed by another woman. But you have to be rational. You cannot begrudge this woman for feeding your daughter who needs it.

You can see Hanamé’s face better now even if she is latched to a breast. She is not as chubby as Anakin has become. Still, her cheeks are round and pink. Her eyes you see look like yours. You want to grab her from this Jie-Jie woman.

“Now, that is better, my darling,” Jie-Jie strokes Hanamé’s cheek as she feeds then lets her finger go down so Hanamé grabs hold of the finger. You look to Jie-Jie’s face. She smiles as she holds Hanamé. Her sharp eyes give away that she has an attachment to the baby. She begins to hum. She then opens her mouth to sing.

“La la lu, lal lu, oh, my little star sweeper…. I’ll sweep the stardust for you. La la lu…”

“Jie-Jie!” the woman stops her lullaby when a man enters and calls her. She looks up from Hanamé to the man. He is a not too tall man with a deep voice. With his hood off, you can see his hair is reddish, his skin is pale, and his eyes are blue. He has a scowl on his face.

“Hego,” She calls him by what you assume is his name. He approaches Jie-Jie.

“How many times have I told you not to sing to the child? You do not need to form a bond with it,” He scolds.

“I’m just singing, Hego. It calms her down. It doesn’t mean anything,” Jie-Jie acts as if she does not enjoy caring for the baby. He does not believe her.

“You are singing the song you sang for our child. This is not Xia and you are not this child’s mother. She is a vessel, and you are a nursemaid,” His tone is harsh.

“I know she is not Xia. I know I am not her mother. But…she is motherless, and I am childless. What is wrong if I bond with her? Even is she is a vessel, she needs to be mothered. And we were _chosen_ to be her caretakers,” Jie-Jie tries to reason. Hego shakes his head and puts his hands on Jie-jie’s shoulders. He looks her in the eyes.

“I will not allow you to grow attached to another child that you will one day lose.”

Lose? What does he mean by that? Is something supposed to happen to Hanamé?

“I will not lose this child though. Xia died because she was premature and weak. This one is so healthy and strong. She will not die. I will see that she grows into the vessel she is meant to be. I will never lose her then,” Jie-Jie brings up the term ‘vessel’ again. What sort of vessel do these people want Hanamé to be?

Hego shakes his head once more.

“This will only lead to bad things, my love.”

“When has love ever led to bad things?” Jie-Jie looks down to your daughter again.

You feel your body sucked back and away. Jie-Jie, Hego and your daughter disappear. You come out of your vision with a start. You cannot believe. Hanamé is well as you thought but…who are those people she is with? No matter who they are and why they want her to be a “vessel”, you must trust that Jie-Jie woman to care for and love your daughter. You hold to the hope that Ben or you will find that place where they are hidden and find her.

You are even more off kilter when it comes to sleeping now. But you do manage to finally get some shuteye for a few hours.

After waking and dressing, you tie Anakin against you, so he is strapped to your chest. Even if you are going to train wit Luke, you will bring Anakin with you. He is your first priority, and you know it will be hard to train then stop to go feed Anakin then come back.

You meet Luke outside of his hut. He gives a little smile when he sees you and Anakin. He looks refreshed. You assume it is from sleeping off his fatigue.

“Good morning, Luke,” You greet him.

“Good morning, Meia. Good morning, Anakin.”

“So where should we go to train?” You ask him as he shuts his door behind him.

“Why don’t you pick for us,” He puts the choice on you.

“But I don’t know what we are going to be doing and I don’t know the island,” You do not understand his logic.

“I’m sure you’ll pick a good spot,” He returns. You know this is some sort of test. Your enthusiasm for the training falls at this not so clever test. You close your eyes as you take a breath.

He probably wants me to use the force to pick the place. Okay, Force, do your thing. You give control to the force. Before you can register what you are doing, your feet start walking on their own. They know where you should go even though your mind does not.

You are drawn to go high up on the island. You are careful as you walk up the still slick stones. You will not fall and get impaled again. You cannot allow that to happed ever again.

You reach perhaps the highest point on the island. There is a large open cave there. You walk inside. There circle of rather flat stones I the middle of the cave. There is a mosaic made of both dark and light stones to create a split person holding a lightsaber. Beyond this art piece is a large opening that leads to a jutted-out cliff with a large rock on it. You see on the rock sits your lightsaber. You smile.

You rush out to the weapon and pick it up. Feeling it in your hands you feel fuller inside. It has been so strange being without your lightsaber. You look up from your lightsaber and see Luke by you.

“You found it,” He is not surprised.

“Was it here the whole time?” You ask him. He shrugs neither confirming nor denying if it was.

“So, what do we do now?” You want to get on with training.

“Sit here,” He pats the large rock. You get onto the rock carefully. He tells you sit with legs crossed. You do so carefully as not to fall and crush Anakin. Anakin stays still against you as he has fallen asleep again. Looking out from your perch, you can see the vast blue ocean as well as the two suns that are still rising in the distance.

“Now what?” You look to Luke.

“Close your eyes,” he instructs.

You do so.

“Reach out with your feelings to the Force,” He continues.

“I already know how to meditate, Luke,” You open one eye to look at him.

“Then do it.”

You close your eye and do as he asked. You reach out to the force and let it come over you. You do not want another vision like you had in the night. You loved seeing your little girl but watching another mother her was nearly unbearable.

You try to connect to reach the peaceful lake that you like to have for your meditation but you cannot. You see darkness. You see flashes of lightning then the cold dark stone of the place where Hanamé is. You see your little girl in the arms of that other woman. You see her being presented before something or someone else. You cannot tell. It is so dark. Who or what is it?

“Meia,” You can hear Luke’s voice calling you but you have to find out what is happening to Hanamé or at least where she is!

“Meia!” You snap back to reality and see Luke gawking at you.

“What?” You blink several times.

“What were you seeing?” he asks. You look down not wanting to tell him of the darkness or Hanamé. Luke does not ignore your hesitation to answer. He frowns.

“I sense fear in you. I cannot help you if you are fully given over to fear,” he remarks.

“I am not fully given over to fear,” You snap.

“You are not now at this time but if you dwell on that you fear then it will overtake you. If you are able to be at peace even in the hardest of times, you will be hindered from performing the greatest of acts. Or you will have to use the darkside of the force to achieve what you want. When it comes to force healing, the side you use has vastly different outcomes. You must learn to calm your mind, be at peace in all situations, and hold onto hope not onto fear,” Luke lectures but it does not feel like a scolding. His tone is soft and holds concern.

“But how can I be at peace in all situations?” It seems impossible to you.

“You must let go of the things that you fear to lose,” Luke answers.

Your forehead creases as you try to understand. You have to let go of what you fear to lose? You do not have much to lose but what you do have you cannot lose.

“But how can I do that?”

“You must accept that you have no control over anything. No matter how hard you train, you will never be in full control of anything or anyone. Once you accept that you are not in control, you must learn to trust the force.” Luke explains how he believes you can let go.

“Trust the force?”

“Yes.”

“And what if the force allows for the ones I love to die?” You bring up your greatest fear. Luke looks to Anakin as he knows Anakin’s death is one that you greatly fear.

“We all will die. It is another fact that we all must accept,” Luke’s reply does not give you much comfort. You know he is right though. All must die. Life and death are constantly occurring and because of that there is balance. But that does mean that you like it.

“But even in death, the ones we love are with us. Just because they are gone physically does not mean you will not have them with you. This is why we must also do our best to make the most of the time we have with the ones we love. He cannot let fear and hate cripple us and keep us from enjoying life. To always be afraid of losing the ones we love, takes away from the joys of being with them while we can. It sours life and makes us suffer more,” Luke continues. You absorb his words.

Luke is right. You know he is. You cannot let yourself live in constant fear. Even if you are paranoid and overprotective, you cannot keep Anakin or Hanamé from being hurt or dying. You had tried to be so careful here and you yourself almost died here on accident. You know you must do as Luke said.

Luke puts his heavy hand on your shoulder. He offers you an understanding smile.

“It will be hard. I still struggle with it sometimes. But I believe in you.”

You feel a fondness for him now. You smile back to your mentor. You will trust Luke and listen to him. You will hope that he will train you in the force and teach you to let go.


	110. Midi-chlorians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! It has been officially nine months and one day since I first posted! Wow!   
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! I know we are all anxious for our lovers to reunite but please, continue to be patient! It will come. But for now, please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 110

With Anakin fed, burped, and changed you turn the blanket you used to strap Anakin to you to lay flat on the cave floor. You put Anakin on his belly for his tummy time. He is doing better at raising his head now. You love watching him slowly raise his head up to look at you. You smile at him and he smiles back. But then the weight of his head becomes almost too much for his neck muscles, so he has to put his head back down. He pushes his tiny hands against the blanket as he tries to raise his head to look at you again. You are sure to smile and give him encouragement, so he knows he is doing right.

It is when Anakin stops trying to raise his head and rest his plump cheek against the blanket that you know he is ready to sleep. You turn him onto his back then wrap him in the blanket. You hold him close. You begin to see the song Ben would sing. Anakin easily falls asleep to the tune.

“Like a bridge over troubled water, I will ease your mind…” You finish the song and admire your sleeping babe. You sense Luke behind you. You look back at the man who left to get you two food while you were tending to Anakin. He has returned with two twinfin hyacanders on the sticks where they were fire roasted.

“Where did you learn that song?” Luke asks coming toward you.

“Ben, would sing it to the twins before they were born so they could learn his voice,” You answer and take a fish from him. Luke takes a seat on the raised circle with the Jedi mosaic. You turn your head so you can eat your fish without getting any of it on Anakin.

“Hmm. My sister would sing that to Ben when he was a child,” Luke recalls.

“Yes, Ben said that she did,” you remember the detail from Ben.

Luke is quiet again as he too begins to eat his fish. You finish yours quickly and lay the stick down next to you. Luke finishes after you and holds out his hand so that you stick goes to him.

“We should return him to the house so he will not be injured during the next part of our training,” Luke decides.

“Oh, what will we be doing?” You inquire.

“Lightsaber training,” He answers. Your heart jumps in excitement. Since reuniting with your lightsaber you have wanted to use it. You get up from the ground and start out of the cave with Luke. You are extra careful descending from the high hill.

“Has Anakin been exhibiting any signs of force sensitivity?” Luke surprises you with the question during the walk.

“Um, I don’t know. What would a month-old baby be able to do?”

“I’m not sure. I know when Ben was about a month old he had already begun showing small signs of force activity like…he could communicate his needs to Leia without even crying. He could tighten and loosen his blankets. Those sort of things,” Luke gives the examples.

“I have not seen any such actions and I only know what he needs through his cries,” You look down at Anakin. Is he force sensitive? Surely, he must be but…could it be that two force sensitive people cancel out the force in a child?

“Well, Ben was very strong with the force. It is not always common for force sensitive children to do such things as infants,” Luke can sense some of your concern over whether or not Anakin has the force.

“Oh, okay. Is it possible for two force sensitive parents to have a non-sensitive child?” You inquire almost nervously.

“I’m not sure. I haven’t met two force sensitive people who had children together,” Luke answer truthfully.

“Ah. Well, when would we know if he is force sensitive?” You continue with your questioning.

“Whenever he starts exhibiting signs that he is. But most start as children,” Luke replies. You start to chew the inside of your cheek. You know you showed signs as a child but hid it. You cannot clearly remember when you started to show signs. You wonder is Hanamé has started showing signs.

Hanamé must have shown something special that would make Snoke take her from you and give her to that Jie-Jie woman. They said she was to be a “vessel”. A vessel for what you do not know. But Snoke must have decided this on the day of their birth. But how did he decide? The midichlorian test!

“Luke, what is midichlorian test?” You ask suddenly. Luke stops on the path.

“A midichlorian test?” He repeats it like a question.

“Yes. Snoke had my doctor perform a midichlorian test on my children when they were born. Why would he do that?”

“A midichlorian test was used in the days of the Old Republic to see how many midichlorians younglings would have. Some believed it determined how strong one would be with the force. Of course, the tests have become relatively non-existent and we Jedi do not use them anymore. I believe the amount of midichlorians does not matter. Only a bond with the force does,” Luke explains but gives his personal take.

“Okay…but could that test make one child more desirable than the other?” You have to know.

“I suppose. If Snoke cares about midichlorian count then if your child had a high count he would want that child. Did you see the results of the tests?”

You pause. You did see them Dr. Ryza had tucked the results in the child care book she packed for you. You remember the numbers.

“Yes. I saw them. The children scored differently. I didn’t understand it though.”

“What were the scores?” Luke is curious despite not being the biggest supporter of the midichlorian tests.

“Well, Anakin had about 2,000 per cell,” You think of his report. Luke’s eyes go to Anakin with slight disappointment.

“Is there something wrong with that number?” You ask seeing the look in his eyes.

“No, um, it’s just… form what I learned of the old ways and midichlorian counts, force sensitive persons typically have a count of 7,000 or more midichlorians,” Luke makes you realize why Snoke did not want Anakin.

“So, he won’t be force sensitive,” You connected the dots.

“If you go by the old testing but you never know,” Luke tries to give you some hope.

“What about your daughter? What was her count?” Luke brings Hanamé up.

“Hers was…” You try to remember, “21,000.”

Luke’s eyes grow and his lips part for a moment.

“21,000?”

“Yes. Is that okay?”

“That’s much higher than the average Jedi. I don’t even that high of a count,” Luke is baffled.

“You have had the midichlorian test?” You are shocked given his earlier lack of care about the testing.

“I found the equipment and tried it on myself. I tested at 14,500. 21,000 though…Snoke most definitely would want her for that amount,” Luke begins to stroke his beard. You frown.

“I had a vision last night of Hanamé. I don’t know where she was but she was in the care of a couple and they kept referring to her being a ‘vessel’. I don’t understand what that means. Do you know why they would be raising her to be a ‘vessel’?”

Luke moves his hand from his beard. His face is tensed but expressionless. You dislike this reaction. It does not seem to be something good.

“Take Anakin to be put to bed. I will be with you shortly,” Luke turns around.

“Luke,” You call after him, but he keeps walking away. You go back to your hut. You put Anakin in his crib. Luke must know what this vessel nonsense means.

You look over Anakin as you wait for Luke. You push some of his hair from his forehead. Your darling, normal boy. You are glad he will not have the Force. It has protected him not to have it. You know Ben will be disappointed but honestly, it is sort of a relief to know he will not have to go through the challenges of training and learning to control the Force. He will just be a normal boy like everyone else. It is not like he will be the only one in the family to be normal. Han is not Force sensitive and neither was Padmé. You are pretty sure you parents were not Force sensitive either. Then again, you nothing about your parents except that Ben told you they worked in a pleasure house as the “entertainment” and bartender. So, your force ability must be an abnormality in your bloodline.

“Meia,” Luke enters the hut making you turn around. His face has grown more somber.

“Do you have my answer?” You do not want anymore delay.

“I do. But you will not like it,” he makes your stomach gurgle in anxiety.

“Tell me anyway.”

“Snoke may be intending to have Hanamé raised and strengthen because of her count so she can be a vessel for his consciousness,” Luke begins.

“A vessel for his consciousness?” It sounds strange.

“It is an old and very dark practice of ancient Siths. They find a suitable but pliable vessel that they can transfer their consciousness into and therefore continue to live on though they should be dead. I think Snoke might have taken your daughter to have her raised to be powerful but submissive to his will. When he deems her strong enough and old enough he may try to transfer his consciousness into her so he can live on with her power,” Luke continues.

Your hand flies to your mouth as you do not want to smother any possible cry of horror that could from there. You cannot believe that Snoke would do that to you daughter. You cannot allow Snoke to do that to your daughter. She cannot be his vessel, his puppet, his body. She is not meant to be his in any way. She is yours and Ben’s and her own person. This is-is-is appalling, disgusting and downright vile. You need to find her. You need to save her before she is groomed for Snoke to take over.

You must leave this planet and go find her. You contact Ben. He will take down Snoke. If Ben learns of this then nothing would stop him from destroying his master.

But you cannot get off this planet. You keep failing to reach Ben. How can you save Hanamé from this fate? How can that Jie-Jie woman who has come to love your child be willing to let this happen to Hanamé?

“I sense you fear again. You must let it go. You must trust the force,” Luke tries to bring up the last lesson you two discussed.

You want to punch Luke though he is not wrong or at fault. You just hate that this is advice. Ben would be right with you ready to rage and do whatever it takes to stop Snoke and find Hanamé. Luke must not understand this. He is not a father after all. If only you had transmitter. You could call Ben or Han! Han is a father, and you know he loves his grandchildren. He would help.

“Meia,” Luke puts his hand on your tightened shoulder, “Let go. You have to let go.”

“I can’t. My daughter is in danger. I must save her,” You feel your eyes growing moist.

“What will be, will be. You have no control over it.”

“But I have to try, Luke. I am her mother and I have to at least try to help her. You may not understand that but…I must.”

“You cannot act in fear!”

“I’m in acting in love! I love her and I want to protect her because I love her,” You know this is true for you. Luke’s lips and forehead pucker.

“Even so, you will not be able to get off this planet. You want to act but you will not be able to do so. You have to accept you cannot help no matter how much you love her,” He gives the hard truth. You will not let it be truth though.

“I will get off this planet. I will find my daughter. I will be reunited with Ben, and I will spend the rest of my life with them happily,” You proclaim. You will believe anything that will contradict this.

Luke gains a soft look in his eyes and a smile. He admires your passion and dedication to your loved ones. He reaches out and touches your cheek. It startles you. It is not warm like Han’s touch nor as welcomed. Still, you do not pull away from it.

“You are very stubborn, my child,” He half-chuckles.

“Determined,” You correct him. He smiles and pulls his hand away.

“Yes, determined. If you are going to leave this planet, I must make sure you are trained properly in the light. You will need to be fully immersed in it if you want to take on someone so engulfed in the darkside without falling into it yourself,” Luke starts walking for the door. He opens it and one of the caretakers is there with clean clothes for you and Anakin. She comes in and Luke instructs her to stay with Anakin. She does not seem to mind.

“Come, Meia,” Luke waves for you follow him. You grab your lightsaber and follow him. He takes you to another high place. There he finally has you turn on your lightsaber. You smile feelings the vibrations in your hand. He stares at you blade.

“That is a lovely color,” he points at your blade.

“Thank you.”

“Now, show me what you can do,” he steps back from you.

“Aren’t you going to take yours out and fight me?” You notice he does not reach for a weapon.

“No. I gave my lightsaber to Alcida-Auka. She has put it with other Jedi relics on the island.” He replies.

“Why? A lightsaber is a symbol of one’s life. Why would you give it up to be stored away?”

“I have no need for it here,” Luke’s response does not please you.

“But you do now. I do better when I am fighting against another. That is the way I have always been taught,” You know you might sound self-centered, but it is true.

“You will just have to learn without fighting then,” Luke will not go to reclaim his weapon. You huff but you will not argue with him right now. You need to learn from him even if you think it is kind of a dumb way to learn.


	111. Setting Course

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter! :D

# Chapter 111

Kylo stands on a rocky beach. The air is cool despite there being two suns in the sky. The crashing of the waves against the rocks and sand fill his ears along with a few cries from some large eyed birds. He looks to his left and right confused as to why he is on a beach and not in his room on the Finalizer.

“Oh! Look how good you’re doing, Anakin!” Kylo hears his son’s name as well as a voice he has been dying to hear again. It comes from above the grassy cliff behind him. He runs and scales the cliff. He reaches the top and stops. His eyes water at the sight before him.

One blanket in the grass is a black haired, chubby baby boy on his hands and knees. He is doing his best to crawl from one side of the blanket to the other. He smiles as he works making his cheeks dimple. How could he not smile when the most beautiful woman in the galaxy is at the edge of the carpet with arms open and a smile on her face.

Kylo stares at you as you are on your knees before the child. You wear a white linen dress and your hair has grown long like it had been when he first met you. Every fiber in his being wants to run to you. He wants to take you in his arms and kiss you. He wants to do the same with his boy. He takes a step but stops.

“This is just a dream,” Kylo tells himself. He has had so many dreams of you and the children. This is the most vivid he has had but still. There is no way that this is real. If it were, you would see him or at least sense him. Hanamé would be present as well not just Anakin.

When Anakin reaches you, you collect him in your arms and kiss his head. You stop though as if you have sensed something. You turn your head. You look straight at Kylo. Your eyes begin to search.

“Ben? Ben, are you there? Ben, can you hear me?” She asks.

Does she not see me? Kylo wonders.

“Ben? Please, hear me, Ben,” She still calls. He shakes his head. This is just a dream. There is no reason to answer.

“Ben, please. Please, hear me. Give me some sign you have not forgotten me, a sign I am not just calling out to nothing,” Your eyes start to water. He hates the tears coming to your eyes. He hates when you cry. He has to answer. He needs to answer. He parts his lips to say your name and give you proof that he is there.

Your name is in his throat when he is torn away from you, Anakin, and the scene. He opens his eyes once more. He is back in his room on Starkiller Base. He sits up looking around to confirm he is once again alone in his bed. He raises his hands to his face as he feels his own tears coming from his eyes. He wipes them away though. There is no need to cry over a dream, right?

Kylo gets out of his bed and dresses. As he is in the bathroom and styling his hair, his fingers go through his hair. He stops. His fingers in his own hair are nothing compared to the feelings of your fingers in his hair. He grabs the electric razor he uses to shave his face. He holds it up to his head. What is the point of having all this hair if you are not going to play with it anymore? He turns it on ready to get rid of his mane.

He stops. He remembers the last time he thought about shaving his head. You two were on Enarc and it was a particularly hot day. He had meetings all day and by the time he got home his head was drenched in sweat. He came home, stripped down, and grabbed his razor to shave off his hair. This would help cool him off under his helmet.

“What are you doing!” You had grabbed his wrist before he could bring the razor to his hair.

“I’m fucking overheating. I’m getting rid of this hair,” He replied.

“Don’t you dare shave your head, Ben! You’ll look like a hairless cat,” You cringed at the idea. Ben lowered his hand at your reaction.

“Oh? So, without my hair, you won’t love me anymore?” he posed the question.

“Of course, not. I’ll love you no matter what,” you stroked his cheek then gave him a verbal blow, “But I might not be as eager to fuck you.”

“You wouldn’t want to fuck me bald?” He disliked the thought of one physical change would make you no longer desire him. You laughed at his sudden insecurity. Your laugh was not a cruel one.

“I’m just joking, Ben. There is nothing physically that you can do to make me not want to fuck you. But I love these thick locks I can grab,” You gripped his hair as you said it.

“Maybe I should grow more hair. Maybe I should grow a beard,” he rubbed his cleanshaven jaw.

“Mmmm…maybe. I’d like to see you bearded. I wonder how your beard would feel between my thighs,” you rubbed your thumb along his jaw as well as suggested a possible future of cunnilingus. Your thumb went up to his cheek and began touch his different freckles and moles.

“But if you grow a beard, I won’t be able to see all the moles and freckles I love.”

“I’d rather have them covered,” Ben had become self-conscious again. He started to pull away from you but you grabbed his jaw to keep him close.

“No. They are my favorite constellations. You can’t cover them up,” You started to kiss the spots on his skin. He enjoyed the tenderness of your lips against the skin he thought was so flawed.

“Please, stay just the way you are. Stay, my perfect, handsome Ben,” You gave him a kiss on the cheeks after saying ‘perfect’ and ‘handsome’.

“I’ll do my best then, sweetheart,” he kissed you.

Kylo looks at the razor in his hand now. He looks back to the mirror. His face his clean and all his “constellations” as you said are visible. His hair is just how you liked it. He turns the razor off and puts it away. He will preserve himself the way you wanted for a little bit longer.

Groomed and dressed, Kylo knows he must go on with his day just as he has gone on with his days without you for the past seven months. He wonders if today will be any different than the other days.

* * *

Poe brims with excitement as he approaches General Organa’s chambers. It has been months since he has interacted with his favorite General. He knows if he is going to get orders from her, then he will be doing something exciting and great for the Resistance. He raises his hand to knock on her door when it slides open.

“Dameron, please, come in,” Leia sits across the room at her desk and waves the young man inside to her.

“You sent for me, General Organa?”

“Yes. I have a top-secret mission for you,” She stands up from her seat and approaches the young pilot.

“Oh?” He starts to grin. He loves secret missions. How could he not? It shows how much General Organa trusts _him_. It also helps the Resistance comes steps closer to bringing down the First Order. 

“I am sending you to the village of Tuanul on the planet Jakku. There you will find a village elder Lor San Tekka. He has a map that will lead to Luke Skywalker. I need you meet him, retrieve the map and come back with it. You must be exceedingly careful. That map cannot fall into the First Order’s hands,” Leia gives the mission.

Poe has heard about Luke Skywalker since he was a boy. He also knows how Skywalker has been missing for many years. It has been in the Jedi’s absence that the First Order has risen. This cannot be a coincidence. Poe know all in the Resistance hope that the legendary Jedi will return and defeat Snoke as he did Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine. If Poe can play any part in the return of the Jedi, he is more than happy to do it.

“I will not fail you,” He flashes a smile that reminds Leia of Han’s own cocky smile. Leia smiles back and hopes Poe will not.

To lose this map would be to lose her last chance of reaching Luke. Leia must reach her brother. He will know what to do to stop Snoke. He can help bring Ben back from the darkness. He will help in reuniting their family. What is left of the family…it has been six months since she learned of the loss of her grandchildren and daughter-in-law. Though they were only in her life briefly, it has affected her. It has greatly affected Han as well. His calls have become nearly non-existent again. Leia cannot begin to know what Ben is doing to cope. With the more recent growth of and destruction by the First Order, Leia knows his coping must not be of the healthy kind.

“You must go now. May the Force be with you.” Leia wishes the pilot. He salutes and leaves her.

Poe is met by BB-8 as he reaches the docking bay of the D’Qar Resistance base. He does not change into his typical pilot clothes as he does not have the time and his pilot uniform would easily give away his role on Jakku.

Poe climbs into his X-Wing after BB-8 is situated in his spot on the ship as well. He takes a deep breath and excitedly sets his course to the village on the desert planet far away. He cannot and will not fail on this mission. He will get the map, bring it to Leia, find Skywalker, and defeat the First Order.

Poe plan pauses after that. He knows the First Order must be defeated. The leaders must perish, or they may try to rise up again. But…does this mean the wives of the leaders must perish too?

Poe has not forgotten about the girl he met on Canto Bight, the one who stole his breath, the one who made parting so hard, the one who broke his heart when she chose to be with Kylo Ren over him. Knowing now that she must have made her choice for the sake of the children, he must have forced on her, Poe wonders how you are. You must have had your children by now. You must be a happy and loving mother. He is sure that Kylo Ren is a horrid father and husband. You must have realized now that it would be better without Kylo Ren and a life in the Resistance would be better for both you and the children. Perhaps, even a life with a dashing Resistance pilot would be even better. Poe will have to see though after the First Order falls.

* * *

Kylo walks the halls of the Finalizer till he meets General Hux in a conference room. A young lieutenant stands with the aura of eagerness about him. Kylo senses the young man’s excitement. This is a rarity among Kylo’s subordinates.

“What news have you brought us, Lieutenant Mullinax?” General Hux addresses the young man.

“Well, sirs, we have located Lor San Tekka,” Lieutenant Mullinax amiles showing off the large gap between his two front teeth.

Kylo has been searching for this man for so long now. He knows Lor San Tekka must have a way to find Skwyalker. They were such close friends. Kylo could even remember when he himself had accompanied Skywalker and Tekka on a mission. He had met the Knights of Ren for the first time. That was all so long ago now.

“Where is he?” Kylo does not care the man was found only that his location be given over immediately.

“He is a on a small planet called Jakku,” Mullinax keeps giving out the information to his superiors.

“Have our course set for Jakku then,” Kylo orders and leaves the room. He will find Lor San Tekka and get the map. He will get the map, find that bastard Luke Skywalker, and kill him.


	112. A Title

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Thank you all so much for all of the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 112

You cannot believe it has been seven months since you crashed on this planet or that you have been training with Luke for the last six months. Never did you think you would be training under Luke Skywalker on a random planet while also being a single mother. These never ever crossed your mind before it happened.

You are doing your best though in this unprecedented situation. You do all the things said by the baby book Dr. Ryza gave you. You do as Luke instructs and have been reading the sacred Jedi texts once he showed you where they were stored. You still do not identify as a Jedi but you are far from a Sith now. You have learned to use the lightside more than the dark. Still, it has not brought you closer to contacting Ben or locating Hanamé.

You have had more visions of Hanamé. Though you see her often with the Jie-Jie woman, you can see she is growing healthy and rather happily. She is gaining a look different from Anakin. Her hair is dark and growing long but it is still rather wispy. Her eyes are like yours as is her smile. She lacks the freckles Anakin has begun to develop from his sun exposure. You do wonder if Ben is also seeing these visions of Hanamé.

Earlier when you were near the beach with Anakin you sensed Ben. It was almost like her was there standing just a few feet from you. It was such a strong presence. You could not see him or hear him. You hoped it was the Force connecting you two finally.

“Ben? Ben, are you there? Ben, can you hear me?” She asked the air. 

There was no response.

“Ben? Please, hear me, Ben,” She still called hoping for even the sound of his breathing.

“Ben, please. Please, hear me. Give me some sign you have not forgotten me, a sign I am not just calling out to nothing,” You felt your self on the verge of tears. You wanted so badly to be connected. You wanted to tell him you are alive and find a way to be with him. But as suddenly as his presence appeared, it disappeared.

Ever since you have been a bit downtrodden. You wanted so badly to reconnected. Why was it when you wanted to run from Ben that the Force kept connecting you two but now that you want nothing more than to be with him, the Force is blocking you two?

You had to change after you fed and burped Anakin as he ended up getting some spit up in your clothes. You put on a dark dress that you had worn when you went into labor that Dr. Ryza packed. You had it cleaned long ago and wear it on occasion despite it being loose on you now. You braid your hair that has once again grown long before you put on your lightsaber holding belt. The belt had belonged to Luke but he gave it to you as he had no need for it anymore. You then strapped the still alert Anakin to your chest with your converted blanket.

You stand on the higher grassy cliff where Luke sits on a flat top rock. He stands up upon your arrival. He smiles seeing you and Anakin. You smile back. You really do not hate Luke anymore. You do get frustrated with him often but there is a bond between you now. You trust him and he trusts you. You find yourself going to him for counsel and sometimes entertainment. You love the stories he tells of Han, Leia and himself. You love no stories more than the ones he tells of Ben. He does not share the stories of Ben often as you know there is still hurt in Luke over the whole ordeal that went on between him and you husband.

“How is Anakin today?” Luke approaches the gurgling baby.

“As good as to be expected,” You reply for the babe and pats his head gently. Luke stares the boy. There is no way to deny this child is his nephew’s. He is a near doppelganger to the infant Ben that Luke knew.

“Today we will be doing something a little different,” Luke informs you.

“Oh? What is that?” You grin at the possibility of something new. Luke’s robotic hand reaches into his light-colored robes and pulls out an unlit lightsaber. Your eyes turn to saucers at the sight of it. He had gotten it back from the matriarch of the Lanai?

“We will spar today,” he decides.

“Oh, really?” Your hand twitches in want of your lightsaber.

“Yes.”

“I should put Anakin to bed then,” You start to turn to take him back to the hut.

“No.”

“No?” You look back at Luke with raised eyebrows? What does he mean no?

“We will fight with him strapped to your best. He will serve as an incentive for you to defeat me,” Luke gestures to Anakin who is oblivious to the peril he could be in should you agree to fight Luke with lightsabers.

“I don’t know, Luke. I don’t want to risk Anakin’s life just to train,” You shake your head.

“If you do not train with him on your person then how do you expect to fight in real battle with him on your person?” Luke makes a point. You sigh. He is right…again.

“Fine. But if you even graze him, I will end you,” You threaten Luke. He smirks.

“We’ll see if that is even possible,” Luke is still confident in his abilities. He turns on his lightsaber. It hums as it displays a green blade. You take yours of your belt and turn it on as well.

You get in a stance as does Luke. He grips his lightsaber with both hands as do you. He approaches swiftly raising his lightsaber high and bringing it down. You turn your body and block your lightsaber as you do so neither you nor Anakin can be harmed.

He raises up again and goes for two quick high strikes but again you block both then dart from him. You spin on your heel and raise your lightsaber up to hit him. He blocks and with some momentum he pushes your lightsaber down to the ground, marring the grass.

You step back as he continues to try to hit you. You parry enjoying the thrill of the vibration between lightsabers. With lightsaber pressed again to each other, he presses down using his height against you. The arrogance of a teacher in his eyes as he seems to be overpowering you. You have often seen this look in Ben’s eyes when he would fight with you.

You push up and break the locked blades. Backing away from him he swats at you as if you were a fly, but you do not let him hit anything but your lightsaber. Luke manipulates some boulders and begins to send them flying toward you. You spin slicing them in half and making them fall. You use the force to send one of the halves toward Luke. He dodges the blow and emerges swinging. You two return to fencing. Neither of you can land a blow, which you are glad about as you do not want any harm coming to you or Anakin.

Luke becomes bolder in his flourishing strokes. He is no longer fighting to train. He is fighting out of enjoyment. It has been so long since he has fought with his lightsaber. Having an opponent who puts up an equal fight only makes it better.

In his excitement, you find the Luke’s swipes are coming too close for your comfort. You stick pout your hand sending Luke flying back and against boulder. He drops his lightsaber in the impact. You run toward him prepared to strike him down or at least make him think you are going ton strike him down. However, Luke gets to his feet before you reach him. He believes you are going high with your intended blow so he prepares by raising his blade high. Your blade hits his, but seeing how exposed his torso is, you kick up your leg into his rips making the older man fall to the side. His lightsaber once more falls from his hands. Luke’s blue eyes give away his amazement. You raise up your saber again to show him you can give him a powerful blow.

Luke stares at you with your raised lightsaber and child strapped to you. His mind flies back to his own sister. She had often left him in this place of being at the mercy of his opponent. He recalls how she had fought him with Ben strapped to her chest a few times. It so eerie yet pleasing to see how much you and Anakin are like Leia and Ben to him. But Luke cannot let you defeat him this way. His hand thrusts out as you bring your blade down. He keeps your blade stuck and rises up to his feet. Seeing that you can not bring the blade any closer to him, you turn of the saber. Luke is taken aback at the choice and even more so as you squat low and extends your leg out. You take out his legs from beneath him. With his back on the ground. You put your foot on his chest and ignite your lightsaber so that the tip is an ich from his face.

You smirk now as if it obvious you are the victor here. Luke raises his hand to either side of his head signaling his surrender while frowning at his loss. He has not lost in a fight in years. But it has been years since he has fought so he is a bit rusty.

“Looks like I am the master now,” You laugh and remove your foot form his chest. He purses his lips disapprovingly as he regains his feet.

“No, you’re not a master yet. You’re just lucky since I haven’t used my lightsaber in a while,” He dusts off his cloak.

“Sure. That was it,” You roll your eyes still grinning. You want to tease your teacher more. “I expect you to only refer to me as ‘master’ now, Luke. I think I’ve earned the title. And I should call you Padawan. ”

Luke scoffs.

“I will call you no such thing.”

“Come on, Luke. I beat you. What else could you call me?” You come close to him. He senses you are joking. He smiles now knowing all your demands are in jest. He brings his hand toward you. He reaches out with his hand soft so they can hold you instead of being hard to physically admonish you. His hand goes to cup the back of your neck. You relax in his hold. You have found this is a way that Luke shows his care for you. He has grown to care for you. You know this. He has been open about it and when he does give you serious direction, he holds you like this so he knows your focus is on his words. 

“You have done very well but you are not my master,” He speaks in a matter-of-fact way.

“I was just teasing, Luke. I know I’m not your master. I’m just your estranged nephew’s wife turned student,” You give the relation. You are not upset with the relation and hold no sadness in it. It what you are to him.

“No. You’re more than to me,” Luke’s statement almost makes you step back, but he still holds your neck softly. You wait to hear what you are to him.

“What am I to you then?” You ask when he does not continue.

“My child,” his voice is so tender as he calls you his child. It reminds of you of the way you have heard fathers address their own children. Had he called you such a thing seven months ago you would have struck him down. But now…it is a rather welcomed title. It is one harder to earn than ‘master’. You suppose Luke has been like a father to you. You never had a father though. It is hard to know if this is what fathers are supposed to be like. Han also seemed to fill that father role to you temporarily. But again, you have no idea if he was doing it right either. Still, Han is held in esteem in your heart. Luke has found a place there as well. You have a place in Luke’s heart now as well.

There is something that give you a sense of déjà vu though. You have heard him say this before yet you know this is the first time he said this to you. You have to ignore the déjà vu and enjoy the moment and this bond.

“Now, let’s see if you can pull that stunt off again,” Luke lets you go and turns on his lightsaber. You smile.

“I’ll show you how easily I can,” You smirk and ignite your weapon. You put your hand on Anakin then charge at Luke this time.


	113. Jakku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the great comments and kudos! Please, enjoy!

# Chapter 113

In his command shuttle above Jakku, Kylo stares at the planet his ship approaches. He Tightly grips the armrests of his seat as he awaits arrival to the planet. Finally, his search for Lor San Tekka will end and he will obtain the key to finding Luke Skywalker. Once he finds Skywalker, he will kill him, the Resistance will lose all hope, and the First Order will reign supreme. Then Snoke will finish his training of him and Kylo will learn what he must do to be once more reunited with you and the twins.

Nothing and no one will come between him and his goal. He will kill anyone who tries to get in his way. He does not care who or what it is. He will kill Skywalker, rise up, and bring you back to life.

Far down below the flying First Order ships, Poe walks in the village of Tuanul careful not to bring too much attention to himself. He parked his X-Wing on the edge of the village so it would not be as easily spotted as a ship sitting in the midst of the little providence. He reaches the domed building a friendly woman selling water told him to go to after he bought some water from her.

He reaches the entrance to the dome home which is only blocked by dangling wood shoots. He sees an older, white haired and bearded man sitting inside. Poe would knock but he does not know how to on the dangling wood.

“Hello?” Poe decides a verbal approach. The man looks to the man at his door. He stands and comes. He uses his hand to part the wood and see the young man clearly. He smiles seeing the young pilot.

“Your name?” The old man asks.

“Poe Dameron. I am here to see Lor San Tekka,” Poe gives away the person he needs to meet.

“Ah. Before you can see him, I must ask for a sign of hope,” He claims. Poe reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a ring. It appears to be a simple brass ring with a solid brass oval on top. Poe presses his finger on the oval then draws his finger up along with the brass oval revealing a Alliance Starbird beneath it. T

The man steps aside and gestures for Poe to enter. Poe looks to BB-8 who is at his side.

“Go look out for us,” He tells the droid. It beep and rolls away ready to help Poe in any way. Poe enters the building but tucks away the ring.

“Poe, you said? Have a seat,” the man gestures to a low seat. Poe takes it. The man sits across from him.

“I am Lor San Tekka,” he introduces himself.

“It is good to meet you, sir.”

“And you.”

“I am sure you are aware of why I was sent here,” Poe needs to get straight to the point. He does not have time to waste.

“Yes. I am,” Lor San Tekka nods. He reaches into his robes and pulls out a small leather pouch. Poe puts out his pam to receive it. Lor San Tekka slaps the pouch into Poe’s hand then wraps his fingers around Poe’s so they will close around the pouch.

“ _This_ will begin to make things right,” the white haired man states assuredly. He takes his hand away from Poe’s before he continues.

“I’ve traveled too far and seen too much to ignore the despair in the galaxy. Without the Jedi there can be no balance in the Force.”

Poe looks at the pouch. He knows he now holds the key to the Resistance’s victory.

“Well, because of you, now we have a chance,” Poe looks back to the old man, “The General’s been after this for a long time.”

“Oh, the General?” Lor San Tekka is surprised at the way refers to Leia, “To me, she is royalty.”

Poe chuckles.

“Well, she certainly is that.”

BB-8 rolls in beeping urgently. Poe knows what this means.

“We’ve got company,” Poe relays the message to Lor San Tekka.

Poe and the old man emerge form the house as the other villagers shout animatedly. Poe lifts his binoculars to see into the darkness. He sees the First Order is landing on the planet. He knows who and what they are after.

“You have to hide,” Poe warns.

“You have to leave,” Lor San Tekka returns more concerned with what he has given more than his own life. Poe turns around to look at the one who has done so much for the Resistance.

“Go,” the older man orders as the bells of the village begin to ring alerting all about the approaching enemy. Poe knows he must go and so he runs.

As the villagers begin firing at the ship releasing troopers, Poe searches for his X-Wing. BB-8 rolls behind, a bit too far for Poe’s liking.

“Come on, BB-8, hurry!” He yells not looking behind him. BB-8 does just that. Poe jumps up to get into his ship. As the engine revs up with Poe inside, BB-8 is taken into the ship. Before Poe can take off, his ship is blasted by stormtroopers who have found his ship. He sees the troopers approaching and voices that to BB-8 who tries to warn him. Poe lowers his ship’s gun and begins firing. He knows he cannot do as much in his now flightless ship. He grabs his blaster and jumps out of the X-Wing. He checks the damage on his ship. He cannot even think of fixing it as he hears the crying of the villagers. He watches in horror as the troopers set fire to the humble village and either kill or gather the people.

Poe knows he will likely be found. He is no longer able to complete his mission. However, he will not let the First Order get the map. He opens the pouch and takes out its contents. He kneels down to BB-8 who has also exited the ship.

“You take this. It’s safer with you than it is with me. You get as far away from here as you can,” Poe puts the missing piece into BB-8’s slot. He looks to the droid who has been his companion and honestly, best friend for so long.

“Do you hear me?” He checks as the warfare is quite loud. BB-8 chirps affirmatively but questions whether his best buddy will survive. Poe wants to give the droid hope.

“I’ll come back for you,” Poe claims though he knows it may be a lie, “It will be all right.”

Poe stands and leaves his favorite droid. He must fight. He must take down the troopers will only do harm. Being and excellent marksman, Poe begins to shoot down the white armored troopers. One of the ones he hits falls with a groan.

FN-2187 sees Slip fall to the ground shot. He comes to check on his comrade. He kneels behind a sandy rock mound to check Slip. Slip is his best and truest friend after all. They have spent their whole lives training together. Though it was not encouraged, FN-2187 could not just continue with his mission knowing his friend is hurt. He will help Slip get to a medic in the ship then go back to fighting.

FN-2187 holds up his friend who holds his wound. He wants to ask if Slip is alright. Before he can speak, Slip reaches up to FN-2187. Slip is too weak now to speak. Still, he wants to pat FN-2187 on the head and let him down all will be fine as it is the way of the storm trooper life. But his uncovered hand falls short and lands on the front of FN-2187’s helmet. Slip loses all strength, and his hand falls as he dies. His blood is left to mark FN-2187’s helmet.

FN-2187 stares at Slip’s body. In the moment his heart breaks. Slip…he was his best friend, his brother. Now he is dead. He is just another dead trooper. He is another number in the First Order’s system. Slip barely saw the galaxy. He never did anything particularly spectacular. He was one of the lower scoring troopers but it did not get him down. He was always ready to try again and harder. Now, he can never try again or harder. He is just dead. Who is will remember him? FN-2187 will but he knows that Slip’s memory will just fall to the wayside as all memories of troopers do. No one cares about troopers. Even FN-1971 who rose up to become Lady Ren has now become a distant memory to all. She and Slip will be the same, dead and their true selves forgotten. Forgotten by all by FN-2187. Then when he dies…no one will remember them as they truly were. No one will know how kind you and Slip were, how you both did your best, how you both encouraged and comforted FN-2187, and how you both made FN-2187 feel like a person and not just a number in the system. Now you two are dead and it is all for what? What is the point of everyone dying?

FN-2187 stands up panting in his panicked realization. He gasps as he looks around for a way out. He wants out of this life. He wants to stop being a stormtrooper. He does not want to die. He does not want to die.

The command shuttle finally lands on the desert planet. All attention goes to it as the troopers know that their powerful commander is on board. He will give them more direction now. FN-2187 knows he cannot run away now. He has to stay with his corps and do as instructed. Still the desire to run is in his rapid beating heart. He looks back at the command shuttle door lowers. From the shuttle emerges the dark hooded, masked commander FN-2187 fears most. 

Kylo Ren looks around before approaching the pair of troopers that hold the village elder that Kylo wants to see. Lor San Tekka is released by the troopers who step back from the man not wanting to be anywhere near the known volatile Ren.

Kylo stares at the man who once accompanied him and Skywalker on little missions. Lor San Tekka is no longer the young, vibrant and handsome blond explorer Kylo knew who at night would put on face masks to prevent wrinkles. It is ironic seeing Lor San Tekka now with his white hair and deep wrinkles. The masks did nothing for the man.

“Look how _old_ you’ve become,” Kylo jabs.

“Something far worse has happened to you,” Lor San Tekka retorts not caring about his own physical appearance. That vanity went away long ago. He care not about his looks but about the one in front of him. Lor San Tekka remembered the young, strong padawan who was dedicated to doing what was right but now he is a pawn for the First Order and the darkside. Lor San Tekka thinks of beloved friends who must still be devastated by the change of their son and nephew.

“You know what I’ve come for,” Kylo gets back on track.

“I know where you come from before you called yourself Kylo Ren,” Lor San Tekka wants to remind Kylo of his origins. This is not something Kylo wants to speak of especially now. He is not Ben Solo anymore. He is Kylo Ren and he needs the map to Skywalker.

“The map to Skywalker. We know you found it,” Kylo will not allow the change of topic, “And now you are going to give it to the First Order.”

“The First Order rose from the dark side. You did not.”

This irks Kylo. Why must this old man keep on bringing up the past. He wants nothing to do with the past. He only cares about his present self as Kylo Ren and his future now. He comes back to the former explorer.

“I’ll show you the darkside,” Kylo threatens.

“You may try. But you cannot deny the truth that is your family.”

Kylo is done with this man. He is done with him bringing up the family that abandoned and betrayed him. His true family is dead. Still, he cannot deny his beginnings, but it is that which has made him who he is now. But he will not talk anymore about it especially with this man.

“You’re so right,” Kylo ignites his weapon of choice. He raises the blade and slashes through the old man.

A blaster fires off. Kylo turns and holds out his hand. He holds the blast in mid-air. The shooter, Poe, stands frozen by the force. He astonished at the way he and his shot are frozen. Still, Poe attempts to move but cannot. Two troopers come and capture him. They roughly bring him forward toward Kylo. Poe stares back at his still floating and crackling blast that did not hit the target he intended it to hit.

Standing before Kylo Ren, Poe looks up into the mask. He has been waiting for this day. He has been waiting to face the monster of the First Order. A boot to the back of the knees sends Poe down to the ground on his kneecaps. He groans.

Poe lifts his eyes to look to Kylo who squats down to be face to face. The men stare at each other. Poe knows Kylo Ren. He knows this monster has caused the deaths of millions. He knows this monster is the one trying to destroy all Poe loves. This monster is the one who used, abused, broke, and now imprisons the one woman Poe thinks he might actually love.

Kylo stares at the pilot. He recognizes him immediately. This is the handsome pilot who you traveled with for a short time. He is the handsome pilot the damn Nightsisters on Dathomir said would be “fine lover” and “better” for you. This…this is the man? He is not very tall and is even shorter now that he is on the ground. How could you have ever chosen this man? This Resistance pilot caused Kylo such much jealousy. He still now causes him frustration. He no longer has the ability to take you from Kylo but he does have the ability to hold onto the map to Skywalker. Lor San Tekka would not have been so confident to provoke Kylo had he not already given away the map.

Poe will not let Kylo intimidate him. Even though he is at Kylo’s mercy, Poe will show he has no fear.

“So, who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?”

“The old man gave it to you,” Kylo will not be distracted by Poe’s questions. Poe cannot believe this is what you chose to marry. He can barely understand the words coming from the filtered voice. Surely, you are sick if it too.

“It’s just very hard to understand you with all the…”

Kylo stands annoyed with the deflecting Poe. “Search him.”

“Apparatus,” Poe finishes as he is pulled up by FN-2198 and FN-3156. The troops practically slap Poe’s body as they “search” him.

“Nothing, sir,” FN-2198 informs the commander.

“Put him on board,” Kylo decides though he is annoyed that he cannot just kill the pilot here.

FN-2198 and FN-3156 take Poe away toward the command shuttle. Captain Phasma approaches Ren.

“Sir, the villages?” She wants direction. Kylo does not glance at the people. They are all witnesses now and he does not give a damn about them.

“Kill them all,” Kylo stays in his spot as Captain Phasma has the troopers prepare for the massacre.

FN-2187 raises his blaster with the rest of his group. He does not want to do this. But he cannot just throw down his weapon like the troopers on Ansett Island did. Then he will die as well.

“Fire.” The silver-plated captain orders. The troopers blast the villagers.

“Please no!” Poe cries out realizes that him not giving up has led to the deaths of these innocent villagers. FN-2187 cannot brings himself to fire. He wants to vomit watching all the people fall. He can only think of Slip dying before him just moment ago. He cannot do this.

FN-2187 stands still even after the other troopers move. He looks at Kylo Ren.

With the villagers dead, Kylo turns back to return to his ship. He stops though. He senses lack of faith in the First Order as well as fear, anger and disgust. Kylo looks at FN-2187. He knows exactly which trooper this is. It is the one favored so much by his late wife. Even from across the village, Kylo knows FN-2187 is the one will these negative feelings. This is not appropriate for a trooper. Kylo will make sure Captain Phasma takes care of that.

Kylo walks on and releases the bolt that crashes into a structure in the village. He has important things to do now like find out what this pilot has done with the map to Skywalker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is the beginning of our story coinciding with the events of The Force Awakens. I am hoping to give insight to the thoughts and feelings of the cannon characters and how they are directly related to this story. So I will be copying scenes from the movie but will be adding extra stuff as if applies to this story. I am doing my best to follow cannon with this movie. I have been trying to keep this story as cannon as possible except for the obvious ways that is not. Please, keep reading!


	114. The Interrogation of Poe Dameron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! WOW three chapters in one day! Phew! I'm tired haha.  
> WARNING: This chapter contains mental/emotional/physical torture. Don't like, don't read. Thanks!  
> Please, enjoy!

# Chapter 114

Being manhandled is nothing new for Poe Dameron. He has been roughly moved from one place to another on several occasions so the rough way FN-2198 and FN-3156 move around the Finalizer is not a shock. A third trooper FN-3181 joins the rough duo.

The three troopers bring Poe to a dark room where a table with cuffs sits up vertically. Seeing it, Poe swallows a knot forming in his throat. He knows this place must be where Kylo ties down and tortures his victims.

Did Kylo Ren lock you against this steel slab and force himself on you? Did he torture you here and trick you into believing that his abuse was actually a sign of affection? Does he still bring you here to assault you?

Poe has to shake these thoughts from his head. It will do him no good to think of you in pain and agony. He must stay focused on keeping his mouth shut and getting off this ship and back to Jakku.

The troopers lock Poe into the restraints on the table. FN-2198, FN-3181, and FN-3156 stare at their prisoner.

“Well, would you look at this pretty boy pilot,” FN-2198 grabs Poe’s face and remarks half laughing. “I wonder what Ren is going to do to this pretty face when he gets in here.”

The other troopers chuckle darkly. They can only imagine what their commander would do to ruin the prisoner.

“He might look at it become smitten with my good looks and let me go,” Poe suggests jokingly trying to lighten his own fears by joking. The troopers look to each other. They begin to laugh. Poe start to grin thinking he has made the guards laugh at his joke.

“This ass really thinks he’s funny,” FN-3156 points to Poe.

“He really does. And people think troopers are dumb. Damn, he is really in for a surprise,” FN-3181’s words make Poe’s grin lessen.

“Maybe we should give him a taste of what is to come,” FN-2198 begin cracking his knuckles. The other laugh and do the same. Poe watches them. He knows there is nothing he can do. He suffers a punch to the stomach then one to face the draw blood from his lip. A punch comes from the other side. The ridge on the armor around the hand cuts his head.

“Stop this,” the troopers stop seeing General Hux has entered the room. They were expecting Kylo Ren. They salute their General immediately. The general nods his head for the troopers to leave him alone with Poe.

“You’re not Kylo Ren,” Poe states seeing the unmasked red head.

“No, I am not. I am General Hux of the First Order,” He makes the introduction for himself, “And you are Poe Dameron, one of the best Resistance pilots.”

“The best,” Poe corrects Hux. The general rolls his eyes not caring his Poe is the best or not.

“You have the map to find Luke Skywalker. Tell me where it is then you can go back to your little Resistance base,” General Hux sets the rules.

“First, of all, I do not have this map. Second, no matter what I say you are not going to let me go. You will either kill me or try your hardest to get information out of me then kill me,” Poe is no fool.

Hux’s tongue poke the cheek inside his mouth.

“We know you were given the map. It is not in your clothes, but we are not above doing a cavity search,” Hux brings up the invasive process that can happen.

“I have not to hide. I’d prefer to avoid that sort of search btu I’m sure _you_ really want to do it to me,” Poe winks to Hux. The general blushes at the suggestion.

“I-I-I never!”

Poe laughs at how quickly he has made the General uncomfortable. Hux punches Poe in the stomach making him stop his laughter. Hux grabs Poe’s hair roughly. He brings his face close to Poe’s.

“Oh, like that. Pull harder, gingy,” Poe kisses his lips at Hux who immediately releases him. Poe is not above these acts to make the general even more uncomfortable. He prefers not to be the only one uneased in this room.

General Hux steps back from Poe. His nostrils flare as he smooths back his red hair. He does not like how this prisoner acts toward him. General Hux goes toward the interrogation droid. He hits button on the droid and it approaches Poe. It produces a sparking taser.

Hux walks behind the droid gaining a smile as he knows the pilot cannot try to make it feel uncomfortable.

“Tell me where the map is,” Hux orders.

“I do not have a map,” Poe answers. The droid sticks the pilot with the taser. The bolts of electricity makes Poe’s entire body shake painfully and his voice emit a strangled sound. The taser moves and Poe gasps for air.

“Tell me where the map is,” Hux repeats.

“I don’t have a map,” Poe pants.

“Dial it up two degrees,” Hux tells the droid. It obeys.

“Tell me where the map is,” Hux looks to Poe again. He shakes his head. The droid tases Poe again.

Hux enjoys watching the pilot violently shaking and sputtering nonsense as drool sprays from his mouth. Hux hopes to see pee come from the pilot but the droid pulls away and not pee has been released.

“I’m doing to have the droid dial up three more levels. Tell me what I want or suffer,” Hux crosses his arms.

Poe breathes heavily.

“Fine.”

Hux smiles.

“Tell me where it is, pilot.”

Poe whispers something that Hux cannot hear.

“What did you say?” Hux takes a step forward. Poe moves his lips but Hux can still not hear. He comes even closer to Poe and leans his face close to hear whatever Poe might whisper.

“What did you say?”

Poe looks up so his cinnamon eyes meets Hux’s light ones.

Ptoo! Poe’s blood coated spit ball flies directly into Hux’s face. The general scowls and steps away while wiping off the spit. He nods to the droid. It tases the smirking Poe.

The final tase was too much for the cocky pilot. He passes out leaving Hux unable to find out what he wants. He sighs and leaves the room. Kylo will have to deal with this problem.

Kylo stares at the unconscious pilot. It is clear to Kylo that the Resistance member has been through physical distress. Kylo is tempted to hit him as well but there is no point as he cannot see the fear and pain in Poe’s eyes. When Poe does wake, Kylo will need the information about the map from him so he must resist striking the pretty boy.

Poe finally starts to come to in the room. His eyes barely open when he hears Kylo Ren speaks.

“I had no idea we had the best pilot in the Resistance on board.”

With eyes fully open, he sees Kylo Ren standing across from him at a distance with an interrogation droid floating next to him.

“Comfortable?” Kylo dares to ask though they both know Poe is not.

“Not really,” Poe replies.

Kylo begins to take steps forward toward the pilot.

“I’m impressed. No one has been able to get out of you what you did with the map.”

Poe sees that Kylo is going to try to flatter him. Poe wants no praise from this monster. He also wants Kylo to know he is not one to be easily cracked as seen by his lack of caving in beforehand.

“You might want to rethink your technique,” Poe keeps his face unimpressed. Kylo raises his hand toward Poe’s head. Poe immediately feels the breath leaving his body and searing pain coming to his mind. Tears come to his eyes as he feels as what he can only describe as red hot pinches digging into eh folds of his brain and tearing it apart. His head is thrown back against the head restraint against his will.

“Where is it?” Kylo asks. Poe does not want to answer despite the pain.

“The Resistance…will not be intimidated by you,” Poe refers to himself by his organization. It feels as if his skull is being pressurized as he is drawn forward from the head restraint again.

“Where…is it?” Kylo is losing his patience. Poe groans and grunts as he suffers. He is unwillingly beginning to think of Lor San Tekka. His memory of the man putting the pouch come to the forefront of his mind.

No! I cannot think of this. I must…I must think of something, someone else! Poe begins to yell. His fearsome yell does not frighten Kylo at all.

Meia. Meia. Poe thinks on you. He thinks of the girl in the red dress at the bar. He thinks of the crowded casino on Canto Bight. He remembers the music. He remembers the ticks and tocks of the slow song that played. There were words just the sound of “ooooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ah ooohh ooh ooh.” You smelled of Tarisian Rose.

Kylo sees the memories Poe has of you. He grits his teeth beneath his helmet. How dare Poe think of your wife!

“Where is the map?” Kylo asks again trying to bring forth the memories again. Poe’s memory flashes for a second but he resists again. He thinks of you again.

You two lie on the bed in the pirate ship. You had your eyes closed and held your stomach for some reason. Now he know it was because you were pregnant and had just fought a woman to the death. Still, you lied next to him and asked him to sing to you. He could see your beautiful body relaxing as he sang.

“Now when I go by Mandalore

Need a blaster by my door

You come along and follow me

We’ll go down…in history

Shining bright, bright starry road

You promenade in gold

Tell me who you love

Tell me who you love.”

He sang his father’s song for you.

“You should have been a singer instead of a pilot,” you had given your opinion. He laughed though he was not displeased with your thought. It was compliment to him. You asked him to sing again so he did. He would sing forever if you asked.

Kylo’s breathing becomes labored seeing the images and hearing your voice as well as Poe’s. Kylo hates him. He hates Poe. He hates that Poe got these moments with you and that even in this time of mental torment he thinks of you in order to find comfort.

“Tell me where the map is!” Kylo has Poe’s slam back against the restraints again.

He resists and yells. Blood starts come from his nose.

Poe is barely able to think of solid memory of you. He only sees flashes of you. He sees your smiling face as he gave you a tour of the Gilded Osprey and your nervous then proud look you gained when he taught you to fly the Gilded Osprey. He see you in his arms when you fell into him when he was trying to take back over the ship.

“Careful there, honey,” he held you close. He stared into your eyes then glanced to your lips. He wanted to kiss you then. He wanted to kiss you and make you forget about your heartbreak.

His mind goes to the time after that he wanted to kiss you. He wanted to kiss you in Jyn’s townhome. You had hugged him. He loved the way your body felt against him.

“Thank you, Poe. I look forward to this new adventure with you.” You had said then started to pull back. He did not let you go though. He wanted you. He could not stop looking from your eyes to your perfect lips. He wondered and still does if they taste honey. He started to go for it. You got a cramp and kept the magic from happening. Poe did not mind as he believed he would one day claim your lips.

His mind goes forward to when he saw you dressed on Naboo in the Naberrie attire. Damn, you looked so beautiful. You were as beautiful as you looked on Canto Bight. He could have ravished you on sight but he did not.

Kylo recognizes the Naberrie dress. It became your wedding dress. You were stunning in the white, silver and gold dress. You were even more stunning out of it that night after he made you his wife.

“Stop resisting!” Kylo growls at Poe and his hand goes down in a fist. Poe smirks in his relief. He knows he has frustrated Kylo more.

“You won’t break me,” Poe breathes heavily but keeps his arrogant smirk.

“Oh?” Kylo leans close to Poe’s face.

“No. You can’t,” Poe shakes his head. Kylo rethinks his approach. He was trying to give Poe pain but his mind keeps going to you. Kylo know from viewing these thoughts and memories that Poe is in love with you. Having been in agony himself over you, Kylo know just how to break this pilot.

“I’ve seen your memories now,” Kylo speaks calmly and sees Poe’s smile weaken, “You think of _my_ wife.”

Poe hates how possessively Kylo says it. Kylo senses the anger and hate from Poe toward him. He must rial the man up.

“Did you know, I fucked her here right on this table before?” Kylo brings up the long past event. Poe’s cheeks flush.

“I had her restrained here like you. I lifted up dress and put my fingers inside her. I played with her perfect, tight pussy till she begged for my cock. I remember her words exactly were ‘I want you fuck me with your cock. I want you to fuck till I cum and then keep fucking me. I want you to fuck me all day and all night. I never want you to stop fucking me!’” Kylo repeats your words verbatim.

Poe cringes hearing this. He cannot believe that you would say this to Kylo Ren. It must be a lie.

“Then I fucked her like she begged. She always begged for my cock. She even made me promise to fuck her daily. She could not live without my cock,” Kylo spills out more of your personal life to the restrained pilot.

“You’re lying! Meia would never act like that!” Poe defends you though he is wrong.

“But she did. At least once a day I had to find time to either fuck her mouth, ass, or pussy,” Kylo feels the rage growing more in Poe.

“You’re disgusting!” Poe shouts.

“Yes, I am. And she loved it,” Kylo chuckles.

“When we win this war, I will make sure you die, and I will take her far from you. I will make sure she lives a good life with people who don’t abuse and use her like you,” Poe spits at commander. Kylo backhands Poe. Poe glares at Kylo.

“Do you hit her like that too?” Poe questions. Kylo balls his hands into fists.

“I did not abuse my wife,” He defends himself.

“Did not? You do now?” Poe picks up on the tense.

Kylo goes quiet.

“Or is it that she is not here now? Has she left you?” Poe begin to smile at the possibility that you left Kylo. If you have then…what joyous news to learns. He can die happy knowing you have escaped Kylo Ren.

Sensing Poe’s elation irritates Kylo further. But now Poe has set himself up to fall. He will fall hard as Kylo did when he learned the news of your fate.

“Has no one told you of my wife’s fate?” Kylo relaxes his hands.

“Obviously not. Will you share the glad tidings?” Poe smirks.

“Seven months ago, my wife went into labor to deliver my twins,” Kylo begins to inform the pilot.

“And?” Poe wants the good news.

“She died,” Kylo drops the bomb. Poe’s eyes triple and his mouth parts. He tries to grasp this information.

“She died giving birth. My children died as well. There is no shred of her anywhere as she was incinerated along with everything else she owned,” Kylo relays the events to Poe who has begun to cry.

“You’re lying,” Poe cannot believe you just died.

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“I’m not. If she were alive don’t you think I would bring her in here to help coax the location from you or fuck her in front of you just to torment you?” Kylo brings up what could have been done if you were alive. Poe begins to realize these could have occurred. So…you are dead?

Poe’s mind begins to rush back to the last time he saw you. Your heartbreak was evident in your eyes as he ended your friendship.

“Poe,” it was the last thing you ever said to him. He heard the sob in your voice but he could not give into you or his feelings for you as you were First Order. He turned his back on you despite your plead for him not to do so. Now…now you are dead. He will never be able to apologize. He will never see your face again. He will never hear you voice or laugh. He will never repair the tie he chose to sever.

Kylo sees this now and senses the despair. This is what Kylo needed. He needs Poe to feel completely defeated, just as he did.

“You will never be able to save her now. You failed. You could have taken her away on Naboo and Ansion. You didn’t though. You turned your back on her. You let her come back to me. You gave her up and no matter how this war goes, you will never be given a chance to redeem yourself to her,” Kylo spreads the truth venomously.

Poe shudders as he tries to breathe. He should have taken you away. He should have forced you! He should have….

Poe cannot think properly anymore. His heart is broken and hope has left him. He lays his head to he side.

“Tell me where the map is and I let you grieve in peace,” Kylo offers.

“The map…” Poe thinks of his mission. He cannot fail this mission. He failed you but he cannot fail Leia. Poe shakes his head. He will not give up the location of the map. Kylo know he will not verbally give it away but now the Poe cannot retreat to his “happy” place with you, it will be easier to attain the information.

Kylo lifts his hand again and focuses on entering Poe’s mind. Though the man screams have from the physical agony of having his mind probed and the other half from knowing he has lost the woman he loved.

Poe’s resistance is strong but Kylo finally sees it. He sees just a flash of Poe dropping the map pieces into the slot of a BB droid that is on Jakku. Kylo still sees flashes you and then flashes of his mother. Leia smiles at Poe as she gives him the mission. She smiles like she used to smile at him. It is too much for Kylo. He stops his probing. Poe’s body is limp from exhaustion. Kylo waves his hand and the pilot goes unconscious.

Kylo takes a breath. He had not intended to bring you up. He hated reliving the pain even though it helped in breaking the pilot. But Kylo must move on. He straightens up and walks to the door. It slides open allowing him to leave. General Hux stands outside.

“It’s in a droid. A BB unit,” Kylo relays the intel to the ginger general.

“Well, then, if it’s on Jakku, we’ll have it soon,” Hux gains a pleased look.

“I leave that to you,” Kylo walks away wanting nothing more to do with Hux, Poe, or Jakku. He wants to retreat to his room. He wants to meditate. He wants to push away the sadness and thoughts of you and his mother.


	115. The Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! I hope you all had/have a merry Christmas and happy holidays! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 115

FN-2187 had to scrub Slip’s blood from his helmet. He nearly cried as he did. But he could not cry in front of the others. He knew they would only taunt him. So FN-2187 held in the tears. Only when he was alone in his dorm room did he cry himself to sleep.

When FN-2187 woke, he knew this life was not the one he wants. He needs a way out. He could sneak into a TIE-Fighter but he has no idea how to fly a ship. He would need a pilot. But no pilot would he knew would ever betray the First Order lest they be killed. There is only one person who would risk death to get off this ship who is also a pilot.

FN-2187 walks straight to the interrogation room. The doors slide open revealing the Resistance prisoner is there and FN-3761 is as well. FN-3761 had just cleaned up the prisoner per the orders of General Hux.

“Ren wants the prisoner,” FN-2187 states quickly and brings up the commander so FN-3761 will not delay in the release of the pilot.

Poe does not see any reason Kylo Ren would send a trooper to come for him when Kylo seems to personally enjoy tormenting him. But who is Poe to say that Kylo did not order his move.

The restraints are removed and Poe goes with the trooper. FN-2187 keeps a blaster against the prisoner so all know he is escorting him. FN-2187 pushes Poe into a tiny room.

“Listen carefully, if you do exactly as I say, I can get you out of here,” Fn-2187 words his phrase so it will appeal to the pilot.

“What?” Poe is not sure if this is a trick by the First Order. The stormtrooper removes his help. Poe looks on his shock to see the troopers are not clones anymore. He is even more surprised as he the trooper possesses smooth and warm black amber skin, a prominent, strong nose, and the largest most kissable lips Poe has ever seen. His lungs have lost their ability to receive or put out air.

“This is a rescue. I’m helping you escape,” FN-2187 claims the desperately asks, “Can you fly a TIE Fighter?”

Poe finally can breathe again.

“You’re with the Resistance?” Poe has to ask. Why else would this strapping young men come for him?

“What? No. No. No. I’m breaking you out. Can you fly a TIE Fighter?” the trooper shakes his head and focuses once again on Poe’s ability.

“I can fly anything,” Poe replies knowing for damn sure that he can. The trooper smiles excitedly which Poe enjoys but he has to know the truth.

“Why? Why are you helping me?”

FN-2187 regains a serious expression.

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

Poe does not buy the line. He is smarter than that.

“You need a pilot.”

“I need a pilot,” FN-2187 admits. Poe grins and begins to nod his head. Yes, he needs a pilot and Poe needs a ship. This will do very well.

“We’re gonna do this.”

“Yeah?” FN-2187 nods.

The two sneak out into the docking bay. They are careful not to draw more attention than necessary. They sneak into a TIE-Fighter. Poe gets into the pilot seat as FN-2187 gets in the back.

“I’ve always wanted to fly one of these things,” Poe admits prepping the ship. The trooper takes of his helmet to get more comfortable as Poe takes off his jacket.

“Can you shoot?” Poe looks back though he will not be able to see his rescuer. 

“Blasters. I can.”

“Okay. Same principle. Us the toggle on the left to switch between missiles, cannons and mag pulse. Use the sight on the right to aim. Triggers to fire,” Poe describes effortlessly to the young man who gawks at the things before him.

“This is very complicated,” FN-2187 tries to figure out Poe’s words.

Poe starts up the ship and begins to take flight. He is ready to speed out of the docking bay. However, a cable that attaches ship to the floor prevents the escape.

“I can fix this!” Poe tells himself more than he is telling his new partner. However, Poe cannot fix this. The stormtroopers begin firing at the ship. FN-2187 will not let them be shot down. He grabs his toggle and trigger. He shoots at his former allies.

“I got it,” Poe finally releases them. The two zip off into the starry sky.

“This thing really moves!” Poe exclaims thrilled with the swiftness of the ship. His elation is short lived as other TIE-Fighters come after them.

“We gotta take out as many of these cannons as we can or we’re not gonna get very far,” Poe builds a plan on the fly.

“All right,” FN-2187 has to go along with the direction.

“I’m gonna get us in position. Just stay sharp.”

Poe does just as he says.

“Up ahead! Up ahead! You see it?” Poe eyes the cannon, “I got us dead center. It’s a clean shot.”

“Okay, got it,” FN-2187 fells something guide his hands to the controls. He takes aim and begins firing. The cannon explodes!

“Yeah!” Fn-2187 rejoices in his successful shot.

“Yes!” Poe also bursts.

“Did you see that? Did you see that?” FN-2187 yells jubilantly.

“I saw it!” Poe tries not to laugh at his new friend’s reaction.

Good looking and a good shooter…not bad. Poe thinks to himself.

“Hey…what’s your name?” Poe wants a name to go with the handsome face.

“FN-2187,” he replies.

Poe’s eyebrows quirk.

“F…what?” Poe cannot possibly call this man _that_.

“That’s the only name they ever gave me,” FN-2187 shares. Poe remembers how you told him your number but you preferred having a real name.

“Well, I ain’t using it. F-N, huh? Finn. I’m gonna call you Finn. Is that alright?” Poe wants consent.

“Finn,” the trooper repeats the name. He smiles. For the first time he has a name. “Yeah. Finn, I like that. I like that.”

“I’m Poe. Poe Dameron,” Poe makes sure Finn knows his name.

“Good to meet you, Poe,” Finn says.

“Good to meet you too, Finn,” Very good to meet you.

Poe has a sense that the two of them are going to be _very_ good friends.

On the Finalizer, word of the Resistance Pilot’s escape quickly reaches Kylo’s ears. He storms to the bridge where General Hux already is.

“General Hux, is it the Resistance pilot?” Kylo wants confirmation.

“Yes, and he had help…from one of our own,” General Hux holds a sour expression which is not uncommon for the redhead. “We are checking the registers now to identify which stormtrooper it was.”

Hux does not even have to say who was the traitor. Kylo can sense who it was. It had to be the one who had become afraid and disgusted in the village. It is the one who cause Kylo frustration before due to you being so fond of him. Now, the one who was to be your friend and fellow loyal troopers has thrown all loyalty to the wind.

“The one from the village. FN-2187,” Kylo tells Hux.

“Sir, ventral cannons hot,” Lt. Mitaka informs Hux.

“Fire,” Hux gives the order.

The cannons blast headed straight for Poe and Finn’s ship. They dodge or shoot that is fired. Kylo watches from the bridge frustrated with the skill shown by the short pilot. Kylo focuses on one of the missiles. No one notices the Kylo glares at the missile until he can control it. He manipulates it to stay the course then hit the escaping men’s ship. The ship hurdles for Jakku.

Kylo smiles beneath his mask. There is no way the traitor and short pilot could survive. He is wrong though he does not know this. How could he? Besides he has other things to do now.

When Hux and Kylo reconvened Kylo did not care to listen to the general. It was the general’s trooper that caused the escape after all.

“Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit. Capture the droid if we can, but destroy it if we must,” General Hux states after explaining his desire to send down troopers to retrieve the BB-unit. Kylo cannot believe General Hux wants to send trooper when one literally just betrayed him. This would never had happened if they still used clone troopers.

“How capable are your soldiers, General?” Kylo asks rather snidely.

“I won’t have you question my methods.” Hux grows defensive.

“They’re obviously skilled in committing high treason,” Kylo refers to the recent incident, “Perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army.”

“My men are exceptionally trained. Programmed from birth,” Hux defends his army. Hux does not understand why Kylo is so against their current troopers and questions their training. His own wife had been one. Has he forgotten?

“Then they should have no problem retrieving the droid. Unharmed,” Kylo will not allow a set of foolish, trigger-happy troopers keep him from getting the map to Skywalker. Hux knows why Kylo wants the map. He is all too privy to the passion project of the Commander. Hux does not care about it at all. He just wants to launch the First Order to a great victory. But he knows when Kylo is personally invested, he is reckless. Just look at what all Kylo did because of you.

“Careful, Ren, that your personal interests do not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke.

“I want that map,” Kylo does not give a damn about Hux’s warning, “For your sake…I suggest you get it.”

Kylo walks away from Hux who wishes he had the power to not let Kylo threaten him in this way or at all. One day…one day he will have that power. One day he will be Supreme Leader and Kylo will have to kneel before him and take his orders! That is if Hux does not kill the force wielding maniac first.

Many things begin on the planet of Jakku beneath the floating Finalizer. A pilot is seemingly lost, a fast friendship is formed, a ship grounded for years takes flight, and a droid escapes with a map of the utmost importance. None of this is known to you. You are a woman merely meditating on the watery planet of Ach-To. Your mind is occupied by a stilled lake with a flying bird.

Lt. Mitaka could only wish to be oblivious to the goings of the planet Jakku. But alas he is burdened with presenting Kylo Ren with some unfortunate news.

Dopheld takes off his hat before coming to the room where his commander stands. He swallows his nerves several times. His commander stands with his back to him but he still strikes fear into Dopheld’s heart.

“Sir,” Lt. Mitaka begins as to get Kylo’s attention then gives the news he dreads to give, “We were unable to acquire the droid on Jakku.”

Kylo turns his head at this news. The poor lieutenant begins to sweat.

“It escaped capture aboard a stolen Corellian YT model freighter.”

A Corellian YT model freighter? He knows that is the ship that belongs to Han Solo. Han Solo could not possibly be apart of this.

“The droid stole a freighter?” Kylo brings up the implication brought by the phrasing of the lieutenant. A droid could not have possible stolen a freighter. It had to have had help.

“Not exactly, sir. It had help,” Lt. Mitaka starts to correct the assumption.

Kylo turns all the way around. Who could have helped the droid?

“We have no confirmation, but we believe FN-2187 may have helped in the escape.,” Lt. Mitaka barely gets his last sentence out when Kylo thrusts out his lightsaber and activates it. Lt. Mitaka closes his eyes and flinches unprepared for death but not surprised if his life must end this way.

Kylo does not strike the messenger. Instead, he takes his anger out on the machines behind him. How could FN-2187 survived? How did that little traitor find the right droid and steal a ship? How dare this traitor prolong his destiny like this? He will kill FN-2187 when he sees him next!

With technology on the wall destroyed Kylo takes several heavy breaths before turning off the lightsaber.

“Anything else?” Kylo asks the scared officer.

There better not be anything else. Ky,lo thinks

“The two were accompanied by a girl,” Lt. Mitaka answers only to be dragged through the air by his throat by an invisible grip to the tight hold of Kylo’s hand. Dopheld chokes in the hold.

Kylo is more than displeased with this addition of another enemy.

“What girl?”

“A sc-scavanger. That’s all…all we know,” Dopheld can barely get the information out. Kylo drops Mitaka to the floor. He struggles to breathe even without Kylo’s hand on his neck.

‘Get out,” Kylo orders. The choked man barely gets to his feet before heading to leave the room. Kylo stares at what he destroyed with his lightsaber. The traitor and the scavenger will be next. 


	116. Long Lost Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 116

Sipping on a mug of Gatalentan tea, Han flies the Eravanna calmly through space with Chewbacca at his side. The two are rather quiet as they fly. They had a rather rough couple of nights with collecting their Rathtars for King Prana’s zoo. But they are on their way now with the locked away creatures. Once they get to King Prana and make their delivery and get the other half of King Prana’s dues, they can pay Guavian Death Gang and the Kanjiklub. Then after all that is taken care of, the two will go to Kashyyyk so Chewie can celebrate Life Day with his family. Then maybe…Han will talk to Leia and come see her.

But all of that is to come. They must focus on today. Today will be an easy day. Just a relaxing flight then boom, money!

As Han is mid sip something in the distance catches his eye. His mouth opens and the tea falls out and back into his cup as he sees the one object he has desired for years. It is just flying around in front of him like a dream.

“Do you see that, Chewie!” Han points out before them. Chewie affirms he does. Both begin grinning.

“We have to capture it!” Han speeds the ship up. He turns on what he must to trap what he wants in his beam then pull it into the hangar. Han and Chewie put the Eravanna on autopilot. They race to the hanger with weapons in hand. Though excited about what they have caught. They know there has to be someone inside.

Rushing inside with guns in hand, Han and Chewie look around Han’s long lost love. A tear comes to Han’s eye as his lip curls upward. It is the Millennium Falcon.

“Chewie…we’re home,” Han steps forward. He has to make sure there is nothing wrong with his ship as well as see who was even flying it out here.

Hearing a clink behind them in the floors, Han and Chewie rush to one of the floor panels. They pull it open. Han is shocked to see a young woman, young man, and BB-unit inside. These must have been the ones to have taken his ship.

“Where are the others? Where’s the pilot?” Han immediately questions.

“I’m the pilot!” the woman claims.

“you?” She does look like much of a pilot to Han. Chewie does not believe it either.

“No, it’s true. We’re the only ones on board,” She looks to Chewie. She knows better to lie and aggravate a Wookie.

“You can understand that thing?” Finn is bemused looking at the Wookie.

“And ‘that thing’ can understand you, too so watch it,” Han is irritated at the boy’s reference to his oldest friend, “Come on out of there.”

Finn and the woman climb out bringing the BB-unit with them. There is something familiar about the droid to Han and Chewie but they say nothing.

“Where’d you get this ship?” Han begins his questioning.

“Niima Outpost,” The female answers.

“Jakku? That junkyard?” His precious ship was in a junkyard.

“Thank you!” Finn is glad someone agrees with him about Jakku then looks to the girl to whisper “Junkyard.”

Han looks to Chewie.

“Told you we should have double-checked the Western Reaches.”

Chewie rolls his eyes.

“Who had it? Ducain?” Han thinks of the one who stole his ship.

“I stole it. From Unkar Plutt. He stole it from the Irving Boys who stole it form Ducain,” the brunette lists the line of succession.

“Who stole it from me! Well, you tell him that Han Solo just stole back the Millenium Falcon for good,” Han declares. No one will ever take his baby from him again.

“This is the Millennium Falcon? You’re Han Solo?” The girl is astonished. Han turns back to look at her. He sees the excitement and awe in her eyes. It has been a long while since he has seen that look.

“I used to be,” he walks away.

“Han Solo? The Rebellion general?” Finn recalls the history lesson she took as a young boy. The looks back at him as if he were daft.

“No, the smuggler.”

“Wasn’t he a war hero?” Finn looks to Chewie who grunts positively. The girl faces forward to continue talking to Han.

“This is the ship that made the Kessel Run in 14 parsecs?”

Han is appalled at her misinformation.

“Twelve!” He corrects her as he continue looking over his ship then scoffs to himself, “Fourteen.”

Han stops as he reaches the cockpit. It has been so long since he has stepped foot in his favorite cockpit. He smiles looking around it. He can recall the many adventures he had in his ship. He can recall when he first took flight in this ship with Chewie, Lando, L3-37, and his old flame Qi’Ra. But he prefers the memories he had of his time defeating the Empire with Chewie, Luke and Leia. The best memories are of course of him, Chewie, Leia, and Ben flying through the galaxy all together. He wishes he could have had a flight in this ship with his son once more as well as with his grandchildren who are lost to him.

Han has to get back to reality especially as he sees something wrong with his pride and joy. He walks out of the cockpit toward the others.

“Hey! Some moof milker put a compressor on the ignition line.”

“Unkar PLutt did,” the girl gives away the culprit, “I thought it was a mistake too. Puts too much…”

“Stress on the hyperdrive,” Han speaks at the same moment the girl does. They look at each other. Han is surprised at her knowledge of this ship. But being impressed by her is not enough for him to want to keep her, the boy or the droid on board.

“Chewie, throw them in a pod. We’ll drop them at the nearest inhabited planet.” Han instructs to which Chewie agrees.

“Wait, no. We need your help,” the girl stays on Han’s tail.

“My help?” Han pauses.

“This droid has to get to the Resistance base as soon as possible,” She expresses urgency in every fiber of her being. Han does not exactly care about returning a droid to the Resistance. He has had no contact with them in months. How could he? Hearing Leia’s voice has been so hard. Ever since she told him the horrible news about you and the grandchildren, he laments the life and role of grandparents that he and Leia are now denied.

“He’s carrying a map to Luke Skywalker,” Finna speaks up. Han stops hearing the name of his brother-in-law and friend.

Luke…if Luke were around then Leia would have the help she needs. The two of them would find a way to end this war that is beginning. They could find a way to help Ben. Han knows he can do nothing to help Ben. He had his chance and chickened out. But Luke…he was able to help Darth Vader. Surely, he could help Ben. Then again, it was with Luke that Ben fell to the darkside…

“You are the Han Solo that fought with the Rebellion,” Finn will not let go of Han’s past. Han looks around to the young people.

“You knew him,” Finn continues.

“Yeah. I knew him. I knew Luke.”

There a dull thud coming from on top of the ship. Dread comes over Han.

“Don’t tell me a Rathtar’s gotten loose,” he bolts.

“Wait, what?” Finn does not like the sound of this and chases after Han with the girl. “Did you just say Rathtars?”

Han keeps running. All exits the Millennium Falcon.

“You’re not hauling Rathtars on this freighter, are you? Finn ells out his inquiry.

“I’m hauling Rathtars,” Han stops at a screen then groans, “Oh, great. It’s the Guavian Death Gang. Must have tacked us from Nantoon.”

Chewie growls in frustration. ‘

“What’s a Rathtar?” The girl asks. She follows Han with Finn.

“They’re big and they’re dangerous. You ever heard of the Trillia Massacre?”

“No.” She responds.

“Good,” Finn comments.

“I got three of them going to King Prana.”

“Three? How’d you get them on board?” Finn has mixed feelings of curiosity and fear.

“I sued to have a bigger crew,” Han replies.

Han finally stops and Chewie opens a floor panel.

“Get below and stay there until I say so,” Han orders, “and don’t even think about taking the Falcon.”

“What about BB-8?” the girls gestures the round droid.

“He stays with me until I get rid of the gang then you can have him back and be on your way,” Han decides.

“What about the Rathtars? Where are you keeping them?” Finn brings up the creatures he fears. Loud thud behind the two young adults who yelp receive their answer.

“There’s one.” Han points at the giant eye against the glass. Finn immediately gets into the floor.

“What are you gonna do?” the girl asks the older pilot before trying to get in the floor.

“Same thing I always do. Talk my way out of it,” Han answers.

Chewie does not agree with Han.

“Yes, I do. Every time,” Han points his finger at the Wookie who is the one who is right in the instance.

Han and Chewie start to walk but the doors begin to open. Han looks to the approaching gang.

“Han Solo,” this squad’s leader calls to the older man, “You’re a dead man.”

“Bala-Tik. What’s the problem?” Han acts surprised that there is any reason for the gang to come after him.

“The problem is we loaned you 50,00 for this job. I head you also borrowed 50,000 from Kanjiklub.”

“You know you can’t trust those little freaks. How long we known each other?”

“The question is how much longer will we know each other? Not long. We want out money back now,” Bala-Tik will not listen to Han.

“You think hunting Rathtars is cheap? I spent that money,” Han tries to explain.

“Kanjiklub wants their investment back, too,” Bala-Tik brings up the other group.

“I never made a deal with Kanjiklub!”

“Tell that to Kanjiklub.”

Another door behind Han begins to open. He and Chewie look at who is there. Han knows he is in deep shit as he sees Kanjiklub members there.

“Tasu Leech, good to see you” he greets the leader.

“Wrong again, Solo. It’s over for you,” Tasu begins then keeps threatening Han.

“Boys, you’re both gonna get what I promised,” Han looks from side to side, “Have I ever not delivered for you before?”

“Yeah,” Bala-Tik answers within a second.

“Twice!” Tsau replies. Chewie shakes his head. How will they get out of this one this time?

“What was the second time?” Han cannot recall and wants to distract the men.

“Your game is old. There’s no one in the galaxy left for you to swindle,” Bala-Tik chuckles.

“Nowhere left to hide,” Tasu taunts Han.

Bala-Tik notices BB-8.

“That BB-unit. The First Order is looking for one just like it.”

BB-8 rolls behind Han’s legs.

“And two fugitives,” Bala-Tik continues.

“First I’ve heard of it,” Han lies.

“Search the freighter,” Tasu orders his men.

Just as the people begin to move, a roar and flashing lights cause all to freeze.

“I got a bad feeling about this,” Han frowns.

“Kill them! Aand take the droid!” Bala-Tik yells.

“Woah!” Han holds up his hand. This does not stop the Guavian Death Gang. Ravenous Rathtars do that. More Rathtars go to claim the bodies of the Kanjiklub members as well. Han and Chewie run as BB-8 rolls. Neither want to become Rathtar chow.

Han, Chewie and the droid are separated from getting the Millennium Falcon by a door. Han asks for cover as he tries to unlock the door. Chewie shoots at some of the surviving gang members. He screams as he is shot in the arm.

“Chewie!” Han turns to care for his wounded comrade. But to care for Chewie, Han must shoot their attackers. He grabs Chewie’s crossbow blaster and shoots.

“you okay?” Han checks

Chewies says he is while Han shoots the door open.

“Come on! Come on!” Han urges Chewie. The two go straight for the Falcon.

“Han!” The girl runs up with Finn behind her.

“You, close the door behind us!” He points to the girl then to Finn, “You, take care of Chewie!”

Chewie roars as he is taken into the care of the young man.

Han hurriedly prepares the ship for takeoff. They have to leave the Eravanna.

“Hey, where are you going?” he looks at the poorly dressed girl who jumps into the copilot seat.

“Unkar Plutt installed a fuel pump, too,” She tells Han of more terrible modifications made by the junker, “If we don’t prime that, we’re not going anywhere.”

“I hate that guy.”

“And you could use a co-pilot,” the girl hopes Han will let her be.

“I got one, he’s back there,” Han looks back for Chewie. He does no need this girl.

Chewie groans in pain.

“Watch the thrust. We’re going out of here at lightspeed,” Han warns the girl.

“From inside the hangar? Is that even possible?” She questions excitedly rather than judgmentally.

“I never ask that question till after I’ve done it,” Han focuses on his controls.

A Rathtar jump mouth open onto the ship making the girl yelp.

“This is not how I thought this day was gonna go,” Han mutters to himself then begins to give directions, “Angle the shield.”

He looks back to Chewie, the boy and droid.

“Hang on back there!”

“No problem!” Finn shouts back not aware of what is about to occur.

“Come on, baby. Don’t let me down,” Han speaks to the ship as he turns it blindly and hopes to escape. He starts to turn the ship to go to lightspeed. It fails.

“What?” He does not understand the failure.

“Compressor,” the girl gently points out. Han pulls it and thrusters fire. They immediately jump into lightspeed. They leave behind the Eravanna and the Guavian Death Gang.

Bala-Tik brings up his communicator to his mouth.

“Inform the First Order that Han Solo has the droid they want. And it’s aboard the Millennium Falcon.”

* * *

Kylo Ren and General Hux stand in the throne room on Starkiller Base. Snoke has himself projected before him to a scale that he is a giant in comparison to his underlings. Kylo and Hux listen intently to their Supreme Leader.

“The droid will soon be delivered to the Resistance leading them to the last Jedi. If Skywalker returns, the new Jedi will rise.”

“Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility…” Hux starts btu this only enrages the leader who stands up yelling.

“General!”

Hux’s nose twitches while he tries not to flinch.

“Our strategy must now change,” Snoke’s voice calms.

“The weapon. It is ready,” Hux proclaims, “I believe the time has come to use it. We shall destroy the government that supports the Resistance, the Republic.”

Kylo looks over at Hux as he speaks. Kylo knows that Hux is right but something in his gut just is unsettled with the idea of actually using the weapon. You were very vocal to him on your dislike of the weapon. And using it to destroy the Republic could lead to the possible deaths of his parents depending on what planet they are on…

“Without their friends to protect them, the Resistance will be vulnerable. And we will stop them before they reach Skywalker,” Hux’s plan calms Snoke who sits back down.

“Go. Oversee preparations,” Snoke gives the order.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux is more than happy to do so. He looks over at Kylo who looks forward at his master now. Kylo looks back to Hux before Hux walks away pleased that _he_ pleased the Supreme Leader.

“There’s been an awakening. Have you felt it?” Snoke speaks only to Kylo now.

“Yes.”

“There’s something more. The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon,” Snoke leans down to see if Kylo will react, “In the hands of your father, Han Solo.”

Kylo knows this is a test from Snoke. Snoke wants to know that he will not turn to his father or the light. He wants to know Kylo is loyal to him and the First Order above all. Family is nothing to him.

“He means nothing to me,” Kylo says what Snoke wants to hear and what Kylo has to think to keep to his path.

“Even you, master of the Knights of Ren have never faced such a test,” Snoke knows this will be harder for Kylo. Unlike you, you were on the side of the First Order and kept Kylo under Snoke’s control till near the end of your pregnancy. But Han…if Han Solo gets through to Kylo…Snoke will lose his apprentice.

“By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced,” Kylo promises.

“We shall see. We shall see,” Snoke’s image disappears.

Kylo is left alone. He knows he cannot allow himself to give into the most secret of desires to be reunited with his father. He must get the droid no matter what. The droid leads to Skywalker, victory, and more training. Then all of that leads to him learning how to get you back. If he has to hurt his father to do this, he will.

“Ben,” He hears his name as he turns. He stops his breathing.

“Ben,” He hears it again. He knows it is your voice. Why must you haunt him now?

“Ben, do you hear me? Please, give me a sign that you’re there. I miss you. I miss you. Please, tell me you hear me,” he hears you say.

Kylo shakes his head. This is all in his head. It’s all in his head. It’s all in his head.

He leaves. He must find his father’s ship and get the droid.


	117. Wishing and Hoping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you so much for you comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 117

You open your eyes. You tried to call out to Ben but once more you have hit a wall. You will have to try again later. You feel as if you are going crazy. Everyday you do the same thing. You call out into the Force for Ben. You think that one day he will answer but no matter what he never does. You cannot give up though. You have to make yourself known. You have to let him know you and Anakin are here. You need to let him know that Hanamé is alive and well too. Why will the Force not connect you two?

You slam your fist against the grass where you were meditating. This does not go unnoticed by Luke who sits nearby.

“What is wrong?” Luke inquires but keeps his eyes closed.

“I’m…I’m just frustrated,” You sigh.

“About?”

“I’ve been trying for months to contact Ben through the Force but he never hears me. I do not understand. There was a point where were clear across the galaxy from each other and the Force kept connecting us when I did not want it to. Now, I want it to and it refuses to help me. I’m so sick of it!” You lay down flat on your back as you voice your frustration to your mentor.

“Hmmm,” Luke hums taking in your complaint. “When you two were connected were you just hearing each other’s voices?”

“Sometimes. But on some occasions, I was able to physically see him and at one point he could touch me,” You look to Luke who finally opens his eyes.

“He could touch you?”

“Yes. I know it was very dangerous though. Once I tried to touch him and I almost died. But then sometime later he was able to touch me and nothing happened to harm us,” You sit up.

“Amazing…” Luke mumbles.

“Have you been able to do that stuff too?” You ask Luke. If anyone could, it should be him, right?

“Once or twice but I never touched anyone…” Luke admits.

“Oh,” You cannot believe that Ben surpassed Luke in this way but then again you can. Ben is extraordinary.

“You should just be patient. The Force will connect you when it is time, if the time comes,” Luke tries to encourage your patience. You roll your eyes.

“I know you have all the time in the galaxy to sit around here contactless to the outside worlds, but I don’t. I have a son who needs to know his father and a daughter needing to be rescued. I have a husband who will surely fall deeper into darkness without me. I need to be found and leave this planet as soon as possible,” You stand up and start toward Luke.

“Well, I’ve told you many times before, it is impossible for you and Anakin to leave,” Luke closes his eyes once more to return to his mediation. He has heard you go off about your need to leave several times. He knows you want to go. He knows why. But he cannot help you leave.

“There has to be some way. How did you get here?” You finally ask Luke who keeps his eyes closed tighter.

“A ship.”

“I figured that but did you crash like me or did someone just drop you off?” You put out the only two possibilities that would leave Luke stranded on a planet.

“It isn’t important. I got here how I got here, and I am staying here as are you,” Luke keeps his voice calm. You cross your arms. This is not a good answer at all. Why is avoiding a true answer?

“Why must I stay? What is the whole point of training me if I am going to have to spend the rest of my life on this planet with you, the Lanai, and my son? You’re going to die eventually. Anakin has no sign of being force sensitive so all you are teaching me will not pass on to him. There is no purpose for me to spend the rest of my days here and for Anakin to live his entire life here. Why won’t you help me get off this planet?”

Luke opens his eyes again.

“You told me you wanted me to teach you. I am. That is the only way I can help you. If you want off this planet then you will have to find it yours,” Luke’s tone grows harsher than before. You scowl. You hate this. You hate that he still refuses to help you. You off.

“Why? Why do you not want to leave this planet either? Why do you want to just waste your life and all of your knowledge by staying here? So many people need you, especially now as we are on the brink of war. The Resistance needs you. Your sister needs you.” You bring up Leia. His eyes turn from you at the mention of the princess’s name.

“I am not who I used to be. I am not a Jedi hero anymore,” He starts to get up from the ground, “I am a failure just like you said when you arrived here.”

You remember calling him out on his failure as a teacher to Ben. You have gotten to know Luke better now. He starts to walk away.

“You failed Ben, but that does not mean you have to fail everyone else including yourself by staying away here,” You grab his arm. He stops. He shakes his head.

“I am of no use to anyone off this planet. My sister and the Resistance will figure a way out to defeat the First Order. They have the Republic to help them and the First Order is just a military group like any other,” Luke speaks on which you know he does not know.

“You’re wrong. The First Order is powerful. It is just as if not more powerful than the Empire.”

“They would have you think that but I’m sure they are nothing compared to the Empire and the Deathstar,” Luke scoffs moving from your hand. He starts to walk away.

“I know more about the First Order than you do, Luke. I know that they have created a weapon even greater than the Death Star,” You make him stop again with your words. He looks back at you.

“How is it greater?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Unlike the Death Star that moved around and destroyed a single planet at a time, Starkiller Base does not have to move and it is capable of destroying complete, multiple planets at a time. If they want to, the Resistance can snuff out the planets that make up the Republic like that,” You snap your fingers. You see the terror in Luke’s blue eyes.

“You are sure about this?”

“Yes. Ben told me of it. They are still working on the weapon… at least, they were seven months ago. They will kill billions once it is up and running,” You frown in dismay.

For the first time in years, Luke feels the desire to leave Ach-To. He wants to find Leia and warn her. But the desire dies like a candle’s flame doused in water as his Jedi logic comes over him.

“Death is a part of keeping a balance in the galaxy,” Luke claims. You are disgusted by this response. The man who defied the Empire and fought for galactic freedom now turns his back on everyone in order to keep a “balance”. It cannot be just to keep a “balance”. You sense it is more than that. You sense the real reason for his resistance to help. You have become so close to Luke in these months you can tell.

“You’re being a coward,” you call him out.

“I’m not-”

“You are. You’re afraid. You’re afraid of facing your sister after all this time since you failed her son. You are afraid that even if you come to help, you will fail. You are letting yourself be trapped by fear. You are being a coward,” You call him the word again. You sense now his anger in him toward you. But you know you are right.

“I am not a coward,” he grinds his teeth.

“You are. You’re a coward. Coward. Coward. Coward!” You taunt him in hopes that it will provoke him to man up and go to his sister therefore revealing a way to get off this planet. He has to know of a way.

“Stop!” He orders.

“Coward. Coward. Luke is a coward. Coward. Coward. Luke is a coward,” You chant like a child.

“Stop!” Luke draws his lightsaber and it is ignited. You step back with a gasp. He looks down to his lightsaber and then back at you. He turns it off. He shakes his head and drops his weapon.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I-I-I don’t know what came over me,” His hands go to his face. You know what came over him. It is what has often come over Ben. You know you provoked him but his actions were not good. He must be reliving the feelings he had when he nearly took Ben’s life. You sense his anguish. You are not mad at him anymore. You pit him. It is ironic how this “light” Jedi still struggles sometimes with the darkside. You reach and take hold of Luke.

“I’m sorry too. I did not mean to provoke you to this point,” You apologize.

“It shouldn’t matter if you provoke me or not. I should never go straight to violence especially toward someone I love,” Luke refuses to look up at you. It is the first time he has told you he loves you. You know it is a paternal love. It the love you have longed for as a child. You know you feel the same familial affection for him even now as he _almost_ struck you.

“Luke, it is okay. We all slip into the darkness sometimes. It’s normal,” You try to comfort him.

“Not for me. I am above it. I’m sorry. Take my lightsaber back to Alcida-Auka,” Luke points to his lightsaber. You pick it up. It is strange feeling his lightsaber in your hands.

“We don’t have to do that.”

“Yes. I need to be away from it…and you. I need to be alone for a while,” Luke steps back from you. You grip the lightsaber in your hands.

“I understand…but for how long?” You ask. You do not exactly have to dwell on this incident for long. You want to move on and just continue with how things were.

“I don’t know. I just need my distance.”

“Okay…but you’re not going to leave this island, right? You can hide from the galaxy all you want but you are not going to run and hide from me. It will not be good for either of us,” You are clear about what you will permit. It is funny, he is the father figure but you are acting like a mother.

“I will not leave the island.”

Luke leaves and retreats high into the mountain caves. You go straight to Alcida-Auka. You give over Luke’s lightsaber to the island’s matriarch. She accepts without making a sound. You leave as you feel your milk coming into your breasts. It must be time to feed Anakin.

As you walk you think on what has happened. You wish luke would not be so hard on himself. You wish you had not let your anger lead you into provoking him. You wish the force would have connected you to Ben.

“Oh, Ben,” you sigh.

You know you can wish all you want but wishing and hoping will not get you back into his arms.

You reach the door of your hut. You step inside and see the caretaker holding the whimpering Anakin. He must be hungry. You take him form the caretaker who leaves. You sit down with Anakin. His little hands grab at your breasts as he puckers his lips. He resembles Ben so much. Everyday he comes to look more and more like Ben.

You let out your breast and let Anakin take hold. He begins suckling. You rock back and forth slightly with him. You start to hum Ben’s song for Anakin then begins to sing the words aloud. 

“Like a bridge over troubled water…I will ease your mind…”

Kylo hears your voice in his head as he sits in the Finalizer across from Darth Vader’s helmet. He hears your voice so clearly. It is as if you are in the room with him. But you are not. Listening to the words make shim think of his mother as well. It make shim recall the fond memories he has of his mother stroking his hair as he laid on her lap. Han would sit with his arm around his wife who sang to Kylo. He misses that. He misses being with his family. He misses his mother and father and you. He feels the desire to go back to his parents who are still alive.

He cannot. It is wrong. It would mean he would fail himself, you and his grandfather.

“Forgive me,” Kylo speaks the empty helmet.

It sits still there as helmets do.

“I feel it again…the pull to the light. Supreme Leader senses it,” Kylo confides in the helmet.

He always senses it….Kylo thinks to himself.

“Show me again, the power of the darkness. And I will let nothing stand in our way. Show me…” Kylo pleads. He needs a sign that destroying his parents and the republic they love will lead to the power he needs. Kylo waits for a sign.

“Grandfather…” he calls out for the spirit of the dead man. Why is that you were able to speak to his grandfather and he cannot? He’s only heard Vader’s voice once in the past few months during his training with Snoke. He has not heard it sense. He has not seen his grandfather’s ghost either. You did though. Was it because your faith was stronger?

Kylo needs something to encourage him.

“And I will finish what you started,” Kylo tries to bargain with the ghost by promising to destroy the Republic Vader had failed to destroy. No sign comes but Kylo senses officers approaching his area. He leaves the helmet.

Kylo meets the officers in the hall. They stop abruptly seeing their commander.

“Sir, we have news about the location of the droid. It is on Takodana,” the young officer salute Kylo and blurts out the details.

“Set our course for there then,” Kylo orders not sure why they have not already.

“Yes, sir,” They scurry off. Kylo goes back into his chambers. He must mentally prepare for the arriving on the popular outlaw planet and possibly seeing his father for the first time in years.

As the Finalizer comes closer to Takodana, Kylo goes to the bridge. He receives word from Hux that the Supreme Leader has given his approval for them to use the Starkiller Weapon base.

“I suggest you watch, Ren. You may enjoy the light show,” Hux thought himself funny then ended his communication. Kylo stare out one of the windows. He knows this must be done for the First Order to be victorious. Still his stomach twists uncomfortably not that he can admit that to anyone including himself.

Kylo sees what looks like red shooting stars fly through space. It is quite a light show. But no lightshow ever resulted in the screaming trillions in his ears. No light show made him all at once feel the panic, fear and agony of the same trillions. Then all at once it all gone just like the planet the blasts hit. Kylo is glad you are not alive to see this. You would have cried. He knows it. He wonders…is mother still alive?

Kylo has no time or ability to find out. He is at Takodana now. He must find the droid.

Across the galaxy you freeze while holding Anakin close to you. You hear screaming then all of a sudden it stops. You know it does not come from here. The screams were too many.

“Oh, no…They didn’t…did they?” You know what the First Order has done. You cry. You cry for the ones lost and for Ben. He has allowed for a horrible thing to happen.

Kylo remains unaware of your feeling and your existence. He is focused on flying down on his command shuttle as the TIE Fighters and other ship carrying troopers attack Takodana. As the ship lands, he senses his father’s presence. He does not want to look for him though. He just wants the droid.

Kylo walks about the ruins of Maz’s home. He is approached by a trooper.

“Sir! The droid was spotted heading west with a girl!” The trooper alerts his leader. Kylo goes west. He will find the droid and the girl.

In the green woodlands, Kylo senses someone. He senses the force. But it is strange. The force signature is familiar. It is not exact but it is almost like…like yours. It cannot yours though. You are dead.

He turns on his lightsaber. It is not you so it must be this girl with the droid. He turns around some stones only to be welcomed with some blasts. He deflects them with his lightsaber. He hears the girl gasping and see her start to run as she keeps firing.

The girl misses often and climbs tot eh higher ground. He follows. She keeps shooting at him but again he keeps deflecting them. He grows annoyed at being shot at, so he sticks out his hand. Using the force, he makes her gun wielding hand go behind her. She strains and stares at him confused as to why she is no longer in control of her body. Kylo approaches her. It is so strange. She is clearly not you, yet she feels like you. This girl is the one he has been looking for though. The one he keeps hearing about in connection to the droid.

“The girl I’ve heard so much about,” he speaks. He senses her fear and revile. He comes even closer like her panic. He can hear her panic thoughts as he walks behind her.

“The droid,” he holds his lightsaber back till it almost hits her neck and face. “Where is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she trembles. Kylo comes before her face and holds out his hand to it. As he searches her mind for an answer, he sees her grimacing in pain.

“The map. You’ve seen it,” he sees. This is good. This is very good.

“Sir, Resistance fighters,” A trooper calls lout to Kylo making him break his mind probing. Kylo walks toward the troopers who have come for him.

“We need more troops.”

“Pull the division out. Forget the droid. We have what we need,” He changes the plans. Her comes back to the girl. He waves his hand knocking her out. As she falls, he catches her. He does not need her to get hurt. He takes her in his arms and carries her as in the way he was taught a woman should be carried.

He holds her against his chest. It is strange feeling a woman in his arms again, especially one with a warmth like yours. He wishes this girl were you. But now is not the time for wishing.

Kylo makes it to his command shuttle. As he nears the entrance to the ship, he feels his father again. He has no time to look for him though. He must get away and get the map out of this girl.

Han watches the black masked First Order member carrying the girl he has come to know this day. He had quickly become fond of the girl. She was so smart and knew much about he Falcon. He thought of her joining his crew. It is strange to ask stranger to join him but something about her was familiar in a way. He could not pin-point it though. Now, she is being taken away. Han knows the taker is his son. He knows because he recognizes him from the time he looked at him from afar on Bonadan. You had begged him to speak to Ben then. He did not. Now, look. This innocent girl Han has only just met and begun to like it being taken away. 

Finn also sees Kylo’s carrying of Rey from afar. His heart drops. He cannot believe it. He had made a friend with a beautiful girl. The last female he had was you. You died. You died because of Kylo making you his sex slave and forcing you to give birth then had you and the children killed by Dr. Ryza. He cannot let the monster of the First Order take his new friend now. Who knows what Kylo Ren will do to her? Finn cannot let her become another victim of his sexual appetite or violent nature. He must save her!

“No!” Finn pants as he runs toward the command shuttle. He keeps yelling out “no” as he misses the ship. As it takes off, he screams out her name. She cannot hear it though nor can anyone in the ship. Finn watches as his worst enemy flies away with his friend. He can only fear what will happen to the girl.

Finn runs to find Han. Surely, Han would have a plan to get the girl back. But when he tells Han that the First Order took the girl, Han just responds with “Yeah. Yeah. I know.”

Finn is not pleased with the reaction.

Han walks on toward the Resistance command shuttle. Unlike Finn, Han knows more about the one who took the girl. But it is not someone Han is ready to face or talk about just yet or at least not with Finn.

The Resistance command shuttle opens letting out different officers who go to look around the planet. Han’s eyes focus only on one person leaving the ship.

She is so beautiful. Han thinks seeing the general of the Resistance. In her green jumpsuit, heavy purple vest, and with her hair styled to go around her hair almost like a halo, the general looks like the legendary angels Han has heard about from some deep space pirates.

She looks at Han. Her heart skips like a young girl’s would. She starts to smile. He smiles back at her. She walks toward the scruffy looking pilot.

Before they can speak the golden and always well timed C3PO comes between them to break their gaze.

“Goodness! Han Solo!” C3PO greets. “It is I, C3PO. You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm. Look who it is, did you see who-”

The droid stops seeing the general was about to speak to Han who is less than excited to see the droid again.

“Excuse me Prin…General. Sorry,” C3PO corrects himself and moves out of the way.

Alone, Han speaks first. “You changed your hair.”

“Same jacket,” She notices his attire.

“No. New jacket,” he touches the leather jacket. Chewie walks behind Han toward the general. She smiles and hugs the Wookie. He walks on by though knowing the two need more time together.

The general hopes that the pilot will say something positive like he is on the planet because he is going to join her and the Resistance finally.

“I saw him,” Han drops the bomb. She pauses not sure who exactly he means.

“Leia, I saw out son,” he clarifies, “He was here.”

Leia bites her lip. She feels her eyes welling up. This means her Ben was a part of this destruction. She knows this also means her fears are conformed that he has kept down his dark path.

“Oh, Han,” Leia looks to the ground. Han come to her. He wraps his arms around her. He keeps her close to his chest. It has been far too long since he held her in his arms. How did he ever go so long without holding her?

Leia loves the comfort of her estranged husband’s arms. They are the only arms she needs around her especially now. But it is not time for hugging.

“We need to get back to our base. We have to make a plan,” Leia pushes back from Han. He nods. She is right and now he has to go with her. He has to join the Resistance now. He can no longer deny their need for his help, Leia’s need for his help.


	118. The Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! OMG I have hit the 8 novel mark. This is crazy. Thank you all so much for sticking with me on this journey! I love you all so much! you guys make all this writing worth it! I hope you all will enjoy this chapter and the chapters to come!  
> This chapter will only contain dialogue from TFA BUT I ADDED TONS OF EXTRA INFORMATION SO PLEASE POWER THROUGH THE DIALOGUE SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT I ADDED! (hope this didn't come off to aggressive I meant it to be more exciting haha)

# Chapter 118

The journey to D’Qar is fraught with anxiety. Leia is unsure of what to do next, Han has no idea how to act upon arrival, and Finn…he just wants to figure out how he can save his friend.

The landing is smooth, but Finn gets off the ship as quickly as possible. He must find someone who will listen to his problem. He walks around not knowing a soul. He is a bit defeated.

BB-8 suddenly hits the back of Finn’s legs as he rolls away. Finn looks up to see where the droid is going. Sure enough, BB-8 is going to his favorite friend.

Poe Dameron stands at the side of his ship in an orange pilot suit. He looks over for a second. It is long enough for Poe to see his favorite droid.

“BB-8, my buddy!” He practically squeals and runs to the droid. He kneels before it, “Oh, it’s so good to see you.”

BB-8 chirps about his recent times and Finn’s rescue of him. Poe smiles hearing about Finn.

“Where is he?” Poe asks hoping he will see the handsome former trooper. He looks up and grins seeing the young man he desires to see running toward him. Poe gets up immediately and goes to Finn. 

“Poe? Poe Dameron, you’re alive?” Finn runs to Poe. Finn cannot believe it. He could find no trace fo the pilot when they crashed onto Jakku. All he could find was the jacket he now wears. Finn is overjoyed. Seeing Poe give him hope again. He has lost so many friends in such a small amount of time. It is good to be reunited with one.

“Buddy! So are you!” Poe takes this opportunity to hug Finn. Poe savors the feeling of Finn’s muscular arms around him.

“What happened to you?” Finn breaks the hug that Poe could have held onto for much longer.

“I got thrown form the crash. I woke up at night. No you. No ship. Nothing,” Poe recalls but does not go into more detail about his adventure with a junker named Naka and all the troubles of Jakku. “BB-8 saves that you saved him.”

“No. no.no. It wasn’t just me,” Finn thinks of the scavenger girl on Jakku who did the real saving.

“You completed my mission, Finn,” Poe smiles proudly to Finn. His eyes run over the young man. He notices that his jacket is on him. “That’s my jacket.”

“Oh…” Finn begins to take it off. Poe stops him. Though he would not mind seeing the man undress, he likes seeing his clothes on Finn.

“No. No. No. Keep it. It suits you,” Poe comments and bties his lips for second as he enjoys the sight, “You’re a good man, Finn.”

Poe just stares into the dark eyes of his former rescuer. He is so amazed by his bravery.

“Poe, I need your help,” Finn grabs Poe’s shoulder. Poe relishes the touch.

“Anything for you, Finn,” Poe smiles.

Finn shares his plight with Poe. Poe knows exactly who to go to for help. He take Finn into the underground base to where General Organa is. Poe interrupts her conversation with other leaders. Leia welcomes and praises Finn just as Poe hoped she would. He love getting the general’s approval.

“Thank you, ma’am, but a friend of mine has been taken prisoner,” Finn focuses on his friend.

“Han told me about the girl. I’m sorry,” Leia means it. When Han told her before they left Takodana of the girl’s capture by her son, she was further devastated and angered. She cannot believe Han did not try to stop Ben.

“Finn’s familiar with the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian system. He worked on the base,” Poe brings up Finn’s qualifications and why else this delicious man is an asset.

“We’re desperate for anything you can tell us,” Leia looks back to Finn.

“That’s where my friend was taken. I’ve got to get there fast,” Finn is only focused on the girl.

“And I will do everything I can to help but first you need to tell us all you know.”

Finn agrees to Leia’s terms. He will do anything it takes to find his friend and save her form becoming Kylo Ren’s next plaything.

Leia is pleased and even more so when the map to Luke it retrieved from BB-8. She loses her pleasure as the map is incomplete. She looks at the map angered with herself.

“Can’t believe I was so foolish to think I could find Luke and bring him home.”

Han dislikes seeing the woman he loves upset with herself over something she cannot control.

“Leia,” he calls her.

“Don’t do that,” She shakes her head at him. She does not want him to try to talk her out of her frustration.

She walks away.

“Do what?”

“Anything,” She huffs. Han goes after his wife. He feels as stunted with her as he did when they were on Hoth over thirty years ago. This time though he knows she loves him and her anger is not because of him leaving.

“I’m trying to be helpful,” he follows her. He would follow her to ends of galaxy now if it would make her happy once more.

Leia chuckles harshly.

“When did that ever help? And don’t say the Death Star!” She snaps. Han sighs.

Han follows Leia to a more secluded area. They did prefer to fight in private as they got older.

“Listen to me, will you?” Han will not leave Leia alone. She looks to him. He sees the look in her eyes. It is the look she always had toward him and Ben. He sees it so clearly how even right now her mind is on their son.

“I know every time you…” Han pauses, “Every time you look at me, you’re reminded of him.”

How could she not be? There are too many things similar between the two men. And not just in their looks but in their actions. Ben is his father’s son in almost every way. When she looks at Han, she sees Ben. When she would look at Ben, she would see Han. She cannot help that.

“You think I want to forget him?” Leia reads between the lines, “I want him back.”

Han knows this. He too wants Ben back. He cannot though. He had his chance. He had his chance on Bonadan. He blew that. He had a chance when you were alive. Now you are dead. He will not be able to reach his son. It is just as it was before he met you.

“There’s nothing more we could have done. There’s too much Vader in him,” Han could see it even more so today as he saw his son in a literal mask like his father-in-law.

“That’s why I wanted him to train with Luke,” Leia remembers her reasoning for sending away her only child. She sees now it was the wrong decision. “I just never should have sent him away. That’s when I lost him.”

Leia looks up at Han.

“That’s when I lost you both.”

Leia knows when Ben went away, Han too went away. Not physically yet. But a little part of Han left with Ben. How could it not? Though Ben was a challenge, Han loved him more than anything. It cut Han to the soul to seen away his son to be trained by Luke with a bunch of random kids. Han wanted to keep his son, but he knew he could not. He could not do anything to help him. Han was left brokenhearted and feeling helpless. It was hard for him to turn to his wife when it was her urging that sent away the boy he loved most.

“We both had to deal with it in our own way,” Han hurts even now talking about it. “I went back to the only thing I was ever any good at.”

He certainly was not good at parenting. He was not good at being a spouse either. He was only good at being a smuggler, at least in his mind.

“We both did,” Leia knows she too threw herself back more into politics to cope.

“We lost our son…forever,” Han utters assuredly. He knows there is no way to save Ben. Leia cannot save him. Luke cannot save him. The wife and children who were the closest to saving Ben are dead. No one can save him.

“No,” Leia disagrees, “It was Snoke. He seduced out son to the dark side. But we can still save him.”

Han likes the words, but he does not believe her.

“Me. You,” She names them as their son’s saviors.

“If Luke couldn’t reach him, how could I?” Han cannot understand how Leia would think that a simple smuggler could ever reach a force wielding commander like Ben when a Jedi Master even could not. Not just any Jedi master either. The Jedi master who turned Darth Vader.

“Luke is a Jedi. You’re his father,” Leia knows that the bond between this father and son is stronger than any that could be formed between a master and padawan.

Han loves her faith in him. She has always had more faith in him than anyone else.

“There is still light in him, I know it,” Leia will not give up on their son. Han knows he cannot either.

“General…” the graying Admiral Statura comes to interrupt the couple, “the reconnaissance report on the enemy base is coming.”

Han finally looks from Leia who looks back to him. She knows what they both must do. She leaves with Admiral Statura. Han stands and thinks on Leia’s words. Could they really bring Ben back?

-

Kylo had the scavenger strapped to the interrogation table in Starkiller base. She lies there calmly unconscious. He squats and stares at her. He does not get it. Why does she have a force signature so similar to yours?

The similarity is not the most important thing. The map in her head is. He knows he could torture it out of her but then we might not be as forth coming with any other questions he has like why she and you have a similar force signature. He knows if it were you, he would just tease you sexually until you cracked. But he would never do that with this girl.

Looking at her attire, he can see she is not from a fine background. More than likely, she has had to scavenge her whole life just to survive. She has probably treated like shit. He supposes if he treats nicely, she may be more willing to talk.

The girl wakes suddenly with a gasp. He feels her panic as he looks to her restraints. She looks directly at him but no longer in fear.

“Where am I?”

“You’re my guest.” He replies.

“Where are the others?”

“Do you mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?” He wants to paint the others as negatively as possible so she can see that the Resistance members are in the wrong and the First Order is in the right. He sees this does not make her feel more at ease at all.

“You’ll be relieved to hear I have no idea,” he is honest. It does give her a smidge of relief. But she still has hate in her eyes toward him. It was the same look she had on Takodana when she was first shooting at him.

“You still want to kill me,” He observes.

“That happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask,” She retorts.

Kylo knows that is how so many view him. It is unsettling. He knows when the original Ren made him take on a mask, he was uncomfortable, but he adjusted. He does remember however, how much you preferred him with his mask off. You banned it in your shared rooms and in the house on Enarc when no one was around. Maybe, the girl will also feel more comfortable speaking if he took off his mask.

Kylo slowly takes of his mask and rises to his full height. He stares at the girl who gawks at him.

Shit. She thinks. She did not expect him to be…human and…dare she think it handsome. But she can not find her enemy attractive!

Kylo puts his helmet atop the ashes in the room. They are the ashes of his enemies, well the ashes of Dr. Ryza and Dr. Vruckleblurt. They were the ones that let you die. Kylo comes before the girl.

“Tell me about the droid,” he keeps his voice soft and calm. Women prefer being spoken to in that tone, right?

“He’s a BB unit with a selenium drive and thermal hyperscan vindicator,” She does as he order nbut keeps away from what he really wants to know about the droid..

“He’s carrying a section of a navigational chart and we have the rest recovered from the archives of the Empire but we need the last piece,” He reveals to her. He wants her to know she is important, and she will only serve to help him. Women like to feel important right?

“And somehow you convinced the droid to show it to you,” he pauses. How did she convince a droid to show her the map. She’s nothing but a scavenger after all. “You. A scavenger.”

He easily senses her resistance. But he must make it clear to her that no matter how she might resist, he will get the map from her. She must know this.

“You know I can take whatever I want.”

He still senses her resistance. He holds his hand toward her head. He will probe her mind for it. She turns her head away from him as he brings his face closer to hers. He needs the closeness to better see.

He sees in her mind the fallen ATAT where she lives on Jakku. She has a simple, homemade pilot doll and a wall covered in scratches. There is no one else though.

“You’re so lonely.”

He sees flashes of her past. She has been offered many times by travelers who she has helped to leave Jakku. Each time she becomes excited at the proposition but then fear takes her over. She rejects them and goes make to her home sad and alone.

“So afraid to leave.”

The girl begins to cry as she is reliving these moments of her past. He sees the tears. He dislikes it but he knows he is getting through.

He sees her at night in rats nest she calls a home. She cries then too and struggles to find sleep. It is then she tries to imagine a place opposite to Jakku.

“At night, desperate to sleep. You imagine an ocean. I see it,” he says and he does. He sees a vast ocean.

“I see the island…” Is it green but also rocky. It is a little too similar to the dreams he has had of you and Anakin. He cannot think of you now. He must stay in this girl’s head.

The island changes back to Takodana. He sees her standing there looking out at the water then she turns to a man beside her. It is his father. He is disgusted. Yet another woman with parental issues is looking at his father. You had done this and now this girl.

“And Han Solo. You feel like he’s the father you never had. He would have disappointed you,” he lefts his own bias come out.

“Get out of my head,” she begins to put up a mental fight.

Kylo steps back irritated. Why is that all everyone else keeps glorifying his shitty father. They do not know anything about the true Han Solo who willingly gave up his son. You did and you still admired Han. He could forgive you for that as you knew Han longer. But this girl…she does not even have a clue to who the real Han is!

Kylo has to get back on track.

“I know you’ve seen the map. It’s in there. And now you’ll give it to me,” He keeps some space between them.

He bears down harder in the straining girl. He feels her fear. She is afraid of what is happening. She is afraid of this probing and this strange use of something intangible that is connecting them.

“Don’t be afraid. I feel it too,” he tries once more to relax her.

“I’m not giving you anything,” she says. Her defiance makes him smirk. Does she really think she can resist him?

“We’ll see,” He will not let her be right. He focuses harder on the girl and penetrating her mind. He sees her little adventure with Han , Chewie and the traitor FN-2187 who now calls himself “Finn”. Everytime he gets close to the BB unit projecting the map, her mind pulls away. It pulls away to the past. It pulls away to her life on Jakku. It pulls back to her parents. Though they are faded images, he can see a man and a woman on Jakku trading junk. They are not like the rest of the junk traders though. They are dressed a tad bit better. The man has reddish hair, light blue eyes and fair skin. He holds the girl’s hand as a woman holds the other. Kylo can see the woman is a woman he has seen long ago in another vision. She was younger in the other vision though. But even so the dark-haired woman is clearly the same woman. How did she end up on Jakku with this other man and this other child? He sees her and the man give the girl away to Unkar Plutt for some money. Drinking money Kylo assumes. It is like the other time the woman gave a child away but this time she is more distraught. This girl was older than the other and this one clearly has a father who cares as well. They hug the child before leaving.

How ironic that her parents gave her away and she has grown into someone who wants another father who gave his child away too?

Kylo feels his hold slipping and something aching in his head. The girl is no longer showing any signs of fear. Instead she is growing in confidence.

The map. I need the map! I have to have it. I have to find Skywalker. I have to prove myself to Snoke. I have to do this! I have to! I must be as strong as Darth Vader. I must be stronger. I have to finish what he started then I can-I can-

“You. You’re afraid,” She calls Kylo out and begins to take some control. Kylo is dumbfounded that she can tell that he is.

“That you will never be as strong as Darth Vader,” She continues. He throws his hand down shuddering. How could she know that? She breathes heavily. Kylo cannot continue now. He has been compromised before her. He needs to regroup. He needs to seek Snoke’s help.

Kylo grabs his helmet and leaves the interrogation room. The girl sighs and leans back against her table. She cannot believe that she resisted and even probed his mind a little. She did not know she could do that.

Kylo struggle to breathe in the hallway. He grips the wall. It has been so long since someone besides you and Snoke read his mind. Not since you had someone successfully resisted his mind probing as well.

This girl…she is strong with the force just like you were. It is strange but not something to be ignored. If he could gain her trust and train her like he did with you then she could be an asset to the First Order and himself. She could help him perhaps. This will be a slower process to get the map but maybe it could lead to more than just revealing the map.

Kylo regains his composure and goes to communicate with Snoke. Once Snoke appears in his throne from, Kylo removes his helmet. He informs his master about what has happened.

“The scavenger resisted you?” Snoke is outraged. Kylo cannot let it seem that he did not try.

“She is strong with the force. Untrained, but stronger than she knows,” Kylo defends himself.

“And the droid?” Snoke brings up the thing that got away. Kylo opens his mouth to answer btu another speaks for him.

“Ren, believed it was no longer valuable to us; that the girl was all we needed,” Hux enters the room. Kylo looks away angered that the general has interrupted and revealed Kylo’s negligence. “As a result, the droid has most likely been returned to the hands of the enemy. They may have the map already.”

“Then the Resistance must be destroyed before they get to Skywalker,” Snoke knows what must be done.

“We have their location. We tracked their reconnaissance ship to the Ileenium system,” Hux informs pleasing the Supreme Leader.

“Good. Then we will crush them once and for all. Prepare the weapon.”

Panic shoots in Kylo’s heart. He cannot stand to hear the cries of millions again, especially now that he knows his father is among them. There could be another way.

“Supreme Leader, I can get the map from the girl,” Kylo tries to prove he is not a failure and give an alternative. “I just need your guidance.”

Hux turns to leave to go do as Snoke bid before Snoke can change his mind. He smirks seeing Kylo is the one struggling for approval from Snoke. He hopes Kylo will get demoted for his failure.

“If what you say about this girl is true bring her to me,” Snoke orders. Kylo gulps but nods. He will have to obey. He turns to go return to get the girl. He does not want to turn this girl over to Snoke. He does not care about the girl, but he knows that once Snoke has what he wants, he will kill her. Killing her will lead to him learning less of why she and you have the same feeling. He must obey Snoke though.


	119. Ben's Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Before reading this chapter please take a look at the tags and warnings of this story. Please. This will be a VERY heavy chapter.

# Chapter 119

With Anakin strapped to your back, you trek up the mountain. You must find Luke. You need to know if he too felt the pain and heard the screaming. You must know that you are not going crazy. You must know it is not just you.

You reach the highest point of the mountain and find the cave where the Jedi mosaic is. In there you find Luke meditating with his eyes closed and hands on his crossed legs.

“Luke!” you called to him. He does not open his eyes or even register your voice. He is too deep in his meditation to hear your voice. You realize now that he is not on the ground but floating a few inches above it. You go to him still. You must speak with him. You put your hand on his shoulder.

You gasp as the contact brings about a flurry of images. They are images of something happening far from here. You see Kylo. Your flutters but then you see him rage and destroy an interrogation room with a lightsaber. You see a girl poorly dressed running about Starkiller Base with trooper’s blaster. You see Hux ordering for a weapon to be prepared. You know the weapon of which he speaks. That is what must have caused the event with the screaming and pain. You want to stop Hux but it is too late. The visions change. You begin to see Han. You would call out to him but he would not hear you. You see Leia is with him.

“You know, no matter how much we fought I’ve always hated watching you leave,” Leia tells him. You do not know why the force is showing you or Luke this.

“That’s why I did it. So you’d miss me,” Han puts on his cocky front as comes near her. Leia smiles.

“I did miss you,” She confesses.

“it wasn’t all bad, was it? Huh? Some of it was…good.”

“Pretty good,” Leia agrees making Han laugh. You love hearing his laugh and seeing his smile. It is like Ben’s. Hopefully, Anakin will also get that smile.

“Somethings never change,” he comes closer to Leia.

“True. You still drive me crazy.”

Even though it is just a vision you feel a pain in them and sadness. They embrace before you. You can see it in Leia’s eyes something is not quite right.

“If you see our son…bring him home,” Leia charges Han.

She wants Ben home? You do not fail to recall how Han had a chance to bring Ben back. He failed. He did not even try. Would he try now? You want the Solo family back together but you do not know how Han will. How will Han even find Ben? Unless…

Your eyes see now the Resistance members speaking of an attack plan on Starkiller Base. They must know where it is then! Han could go to Ben now! You grow excited but it dissipates. Han would be shot down on sight…He cannot possibly risk his life!

It is for Ben though. You know you would risk you life for Anakin. It is what parents are supposed to do.

Things are blurred then darkened. You blink and you are back in the cave with Luke. He is sitting now and his eyes are opened. He looks to you.

“Did you see what I saw?” Luke asks.

“Was it Han and Leia?” You check. Luke nods.

“I did then. Han is going to get Ben,” You do not know whether to smile or not.

“He is going to get the map to find me and to retrieve a girl Kylo took,” Luke starts to stand. You briefly saw the girl. You have seen her before in a vision on Takodana when you touched Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. You frown. You know this girl will fight Ben.

“Why would he be going to get this girl?” You ask.

“I do not know but I do know she is strong with the force,” Luke must have seen this in a vision before you joined in with him. Your frown deepens.

“Is she a danger to Ben?”

“I do not know,” Luke is honest.

“Why does Ben have her? Did you see?”

“She has seen a map that leads to me. That is why Kylo and the First Order want her.”

“I see…” If Ben gets the map from this girl then he can come get you! He must get it!

“Did you see what Hux is starting? Did you feel the pain and hear the screams earlier?” You finally ask. Luke’s face is downcast.

“I did. It was the weapon you told me of, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. And it looks that they will use it again unless someone stops them. You could stop them,” You grab Luke’s arm.

“How? I am far from them and I have no idea what I could do to stop the weapon or the people who would use it,” Luke pulls away from your touch.

“You are a Jedi Master. Couldn’t you use the force to control something or someone even from this distance?”

“The force is not mine to use to control others. You know that. I have to let this play out. It is not up to me what will happen. It is up to the others. I am not a player in this game. You are not either. We will just have to wait and see if the force allows us to know what happens,” Luke starts walking toward the opening that leads to the jutted stone cliff. You walk with him.

You hate the idea of not being able to help Han and the other innocent people. You especially hate that you cannot reach Ben and have him realize that he must go with his father and turn his back on the First Order after he gets the map from the girl.

“I know you are a very frustrated person. I have not made this easier for you either. My outburst earlier was not acceptable either. I apologize again for that” Luke looks to you and puts his hand on your shoulder. “But my child, you must be patient. You must trust in the Force. Balance will come and so will peace. It just might not be as quick as we would like.”

“I have already forgiven you, Luke. But this balance shit definitely is not coming quick enough,” you look out to the water displeased.

Ben…get the map, go to your father, and come to me. Come to me, Ben. Come to me, Ben.

“You are still calling for him even now?” Luke must have heard you.

“Of course. I will never truly stop calling for him till he is in my arms again. Haven’t you ever felt that way for someone?” You look to Luke. His eyes go to the ground.

“I’d rather not speak of that,” he looks up then to Anakin behind you. “May I hold Anakin for a bit?”

“Oh, sure,” You nod and turn your back to Luke. He removes Anakin from your back. Anakin smiles at his granduncle. Luke smiles at the boy.

“You know he really takes after you,” Luke comments.

“You think so? I think he looks just like Ben,” You only see his resemblance to his father. Anyone who ever saw the two would be able to see that. He truly fails to look like you.

“He looks like Ben but he has a feeling about him that is like yours. It is like Ben’s but is definitely like yours,” Luke gives more of an explanation.

“Really? I only sense Ben,” you touch the child’s hair. Luke stares at the boy with brown eyes.

“I sense you in him and Leia and Han and Ben and my mother and my father…I sense the ones I love in him. I suppose that is because he is a combination of you all.”

You smile. That is what children seem to be after all, a combination of people who loved each other.

“I am sorry that he may end up just a relic on this island like me…”

You lose your smile. Does Luke rally believe you all will have to stay here forever?

“We won’t be relics here, Luke. We will leave this planet,” You touch Luke’s arm. He faces yours again.

“ _I_ will not.”

“Because you are afraid to? Luke we just fought about this. Have courage, be brave!”

“I know I will not leave this planet. I know my end is fated to be here,” Luke finally tells you why he knows he will not leave. Your eyebrows furrow.

“How do you know that? How do you know this is where you are to…die?” You ask. How can anyone know where they are to die?

“I have felt it. I know it is. I have accepted it,” Luke looks back to Anakin. “I am glad I will not be alone though.”

“When do you think you will meet your end here? How will you meet your end?”

“I don’t know the answer to either,” he shrugs.

You know that he must be convinced this is true but Luke’s own father told you that visions and such about the future can change. Maybe Luke’s fate to die here will change too.

“Let us go eat then meditate together,” You suggest. Luke smiles and agrees. You two go down the mountain to your hut. You sit and feed Anakin again while Luke goes to get some food. You finish feeding and burping Anakin when Luke returns. You have Anakin practice being on his tummy while you and Luke eat. Once finished you put the tuckered-out Anakin in his crib. It is then you and Luke meditate together.

You close your eyes and try to focus on the light. But you do not go to your lake or see your bird. You see darkness. The darkness is shifting to look more like Starkiller Base.

No… No… You do not want to be in the base. Why are you in the base? Why are you standing on the on of the bridges that crosses one of the Base’s internal divides?

You look around and see trooper running around. You know they must be looking for the girl. They all get out of the area during their search. You look up and you see…Chewie? What is he doing in base? You look over and see Kylo.

Ben! You want to run to him but you cannot as this is a vision, right? He starts walking the bridge. He is coming toward you! He passes practically through you. You stare at his back.

You sense someone else and turn. You see Han! You see him coming toward the bridge! He is here too? Is he finally going to reach out to Ben?

“Ben!” Han’s voice booms and echoes in the base. You look to Ben you stops. He turns around and looks through you to his father.

“Han Solo…” You hear him say coldly this his voice perks up in a sardonic way, “I have been waiting for this day for a long time.”

Han begins to approach his son. He too has waited so long to see his son. He has wanted to see his son, his real son not this masked commander called Kylo Ren.

“Take off that mask. You don’t need it,” Han knows this. You told him on Bonadan that the mask was purely decorative unlike Darth Vader’s.

“What do you think you’ll see if I do?”

“The face of my son,” Han replies. Kylo heart pounds. Han still calls him his son even after he knows what he has done?

Han needs Kylo to remove his mask. He needs to see his son. He needs to see what Ben has become beneath the mask. He needs to see the man that you had said was still his son who still had love and light in him.

Kylo walks closer toward Han. He removes his helmet. You see him son clearly for the first time outside of your memory banks.

Even from this distance, Han can see the face of his son. He is handsome like you had said. He knows Leia would think Ben looks like him but all he sees is Leia. Oh, Ben…his boy, his son.

“Your son is gone,” Kylo claims but you can see his eyes are wetting, “He was weak and foolish like his father so I destroyed him.”

Han approaches Kylo. He has to see his son more closely. He has to look into his boy’s eyes. He has to see his Ben more closely.

“That’s what Snoke wants you to believe. But it’s not true. My son is alive,” Han rebukes Kylo. He knows Kylo is Ben. He knows because of what you told him. He knows because he feels it inside of himself that Ben is still within Kylo. It is so strong in him. He has no doubts.

“No. The Supreme Leader is wise,” Kylo will not let him be swayed by his father.

“Snoke is using you for you power. When he gets what he wants he’ll crush you,” Han comes even closer. “You know it’s true.”

You find yourself between them. This is what you wanted. You have waited so long for them to finally talk.

Kylo tries to step back but stays still. He looks at his father’s face for the first time since his father left him so many years ago. He sees the love and affection in his father’s eyes that he had grown up seeing even after Han sent him away to live with Luke.

“He still loves you, Ben.” You had told them before. You tried so many times to tell him that Han still loved him. He did not want to believe it. But he sees it now. He sees it as his coward of a father stands before him now. But it is too late. Once Han knows _everything,_ he will not love him anymore. His mother will not love him either.

“It’s too late,” Ben’s eyes are about to overflow with tears.

“No. It’s not,” Han disagrees getting even closer to his son’s face. “Leave here with me. Come home.”

Han can see the pain in his son’s dark eyes. He wants to end the pain.

Home? Ben does not know where home is. He had a home then his parents sent him away. He was homeless in a sense till he had you. You were his home. Now you’re dead. He is homeless again. Now, his father wants him to come home? Will he be able to have a home with his parents? He has been compliant with the deaths and destruction of the Republic his parents sacrificed for, yet they want him home?

“ _We_ miss you,” Han adds. Does this mean his mother misses him as well?

‘And you need to know your mother still loves you. She wants to be with you. She wants us all to be together…’ You had told him that when you two let Coruscant. He refused to believe you then. But now his own father says this too. Was he a fool for not running away with you and the twins back to his parents? Could things have been completely different had he defied the First Order and joined his two homes together like how you wanted him to? Would you have lived? Would you all be happy now?

He cannot think of what could have been. He has to think of what is to come. If goes now, he will finally be with his parents again. He never would admit till now how much he wants to just be with his Mom and Dad. He wants to be held in their arms and comforted. He wants to be their Ben and be safe. He wants to be loved and happy. He wants to be a child, his parents’ child again.

A tear almost escapes Ben’s eye.

But to leave now, he will be hunted down by Snoke. He will never be taught the secrets of life and death. He will never get a chance to revive you and the twins. He will never have you again.

Does he choose his parents or does he choose you?

“I’m being torn apart,” his voice breaks thus breaking Han’s heart. “I want to be free of this pain.”

Han wants to help him. He must help him. He must help his son, his boy, his pride, his joy, the number one in his heart.

“I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?”

Han sees Ben no longer as a man before him but as the little boy he loved. He is just as he looked when he would have his nightmares and come to the bedroom looking for comfort and help to find peace in sleep. His big brown eyes stare at him in desperate need. His lips are pouted and everything about him is lost and scared. But this time Ben is not asking Han to help him get back to sleep after a nightmare. He is asking for help to defy a monster.

“Yes. Anything,” Han does not hesitate to respond.

Ben gazes at his father. Han loves him and he…he loves his father. He loves the old, scruffy looking, force-less smuggler who knew how to make him laugh, knew just the right way to hold him at night, could joke around him, take him on adventures, and would do anything for him even if it meant giving him up to be trained under Luke Skywalker in hopes of helping him. Ben loves his father.

Ben drops his helmet. He lifts up his lightsaber between him and Han. You smile. Ben must be making the right choice. He is finally going to do as you wanted him to do. He is going to mend the broken relationship between him and his father.

Han puts his hand on the lightsaber. He knows what the lightsaber means. Ben is giving him his life. Ben has chosen to come home. He has chosen his parents.

A darkness creeps and you feel a sudden chill despite not being physically there. Ben does not release his lightsaber into Han’s hand. Han knows Ben has made a different choice now.

Ben turns the lightsaber in his and Han’s hands. You scream as it ignites and pierces through Han’s chest. You cannot believe what you are seeing. You cannot breathe. You cannot move. You feel your body convulsing in the shock and horror.

Han stares horrified at this fate. Ben leans close this father’s face. He had to make this choice. He had to choose you or his parents. He chose you. He will always choose you even though it is breaking his heart now to do this to his father, his father who finally proved his love. But by doing this he will not be hunted down by Snoke. He will not be kept ignorant of how to revive you. He will have passed the greatest test Snoke could ever give him and he will no longer be questioned. His loyalty has been proven. And when he learns the secrets, he will have you again and the twins and then he can bring back his father as well. This is the way it must be. Fuck. It hurts. 

“Thank you,” Ben looks it to his father’s dimming eyes and pulls out his lightsaber.

Han stares at the eyes of Ben. They are so afraid and sad now. But they are his son’s. They are Ben and Leia mixed. They are his last glimpse to the two persons he loves most. He raises a shaking hand to Ben’s left cheek.

Ben’s mind is filled with the memories of his father touching his face just like this. It was his nonverbal way of telling Ben ‘I love you’. Ben’s whole body feels as it every nerve, muscle and bone are being torn apart.

 _I love you._ Ben hears Han’s thoughts.

I…I love you too, Dad. Ben wonders if his father will hear his thought in return. Han falls backward and off the bridge. Ben stares as his father disappears into the light. He cannot bring himself to do anything else.

You weep and turn to Ben. He cannot feel, see or hear you but you feel him. You feel his pain but you also feel your own. You slam your fists against his chest in anguish.

“Ben!” You wail. His eyes widen. He heard you. He whispers your name.

Chewie roars in suffering and shoots. Though you are not there, you feel a shot go through your own side then into Ben’s. You fall back just as Han did.

Luke opens his eyes with a shattered heart. Though his mind was in his meditation place, he was thrown from it as he felt the loss of his best friend. He wipes his eyes of the tears then looks to you.

“Meia!” He jumps up and comes to you. You lay on your back unlike before and your body floats. Your body twitches however. He does not understand. He was never seen you do this before. He touches your waist and feels something wet on your side. He looks at his fingers. He sees blood. He tears at your clothes but sees no wound.

“Meia! Meia!” he shakes you. You finally open your eyes and fall to the ground. You do not register any pain but the pain in your heart.

“He killed him, Luke. Ben killed Han,” You sob and throw yourself into Luke’s arms. He holds you close. He holds you close as there is nothing else that can be done.

You see no more visions and you do not want to either. You want to forget what you have witnessed. You want to forget the looks on Han and Ben’s face. You want to forget this pain you are in now. But your pain is not minimized.

“Ah!” You cry out feeling pain in your side as if someone is hitting it repeatedly.

“Meia?” Luke pulls back from you not understanding your pain.

“My side, Luke. It hurts terribly. Luke lays you down flat and looks at where he ripped your clothes earlier. There is still no wound. You wince again feeling another hit against it.

Luke does not understand how you are in this pain but have no wound.

“Yah!” A searing burning sensation strikes your shoulder. You grab for it. Luke looks to your shoulder but against there is no wound.

“How is this happening?” Luke asks aloud. You do not know how either. But you feel tension inside you. It is a feeling of anger, hate, frustration, and sadness. You feel these things but these are not your feelings. They are more powerful and intense.

“Ben,” you realize it is his feelings and his pain. He is being hurt. How are you feeling the pain of injuries though?

“I am feeling all of Ben’s physical pain? How is this happening, Luke?” You ask the confused man.

“I-I don’t…” He tries to think of an explanation as to why the force is allowing you to feel another’s pain.

He knows emotional feelings can be shared but the physical feelings too? It has to mean there is a strong force bond between the two people. The only sort of bond he has read of that would be like that would be a…

“Ah!” you feel the burning slash against your leg.

Luke frowns. You groan as you feel it in your shoulder. Luke cannot help you. He does take your hand lets you hold it. You lose your breath as you feel a kick to your chest.

“Ahhhh!” your chest and face burn like fire. The pain suddenly dissipates.

“Ben. Oh no, Ben. What has happened to Ben? If our pain was connected and he has been struck against this chest and face he could be dead! Ben!” You sit up frantic and start calling verbally for your love. This wakes Anakin who cries at the sound of your desperate cries. You cover your eyes still repeating Ben’s name. Luke grabs Anakin to calm the baby.

You hear your name, your true name. You lower your hands and look around. You are in the snowy ground of the woods at Starkiller Base. You look to your side and find Ben there with a gash going from his chest to his face.

“Ben,” You reach for him.

He looks at you. He repeats your name and reaches up for you.

“Am I dead? Is that why I am seeing you?” he asks.

“No. You are not dead, Ben,” You let his hands reach your face. Oh, to feel his hands on you once more!

“Then you are ghost,” He deduces.

“No. I’m-”

“What the hell happened to you, Ren?” Hux appears with some medic droids. Hux does not see you. You look to Ben. You have to tell him you are alive and where you are. You see his eyes and hands searching for you. Are you fading away?

“We have to get off this planet now and go to Snoke,” You hear Hux tell Ben then you are once again in your hut with Luke and Anakin.

“No. No. I had my chance and…” you cover your eyes again as your tears gush out.

“Meia, what is happening?”

“I saw Ben. He is alive. He saw me but I didn’t get to tell him I’m alive. I did not get to tell him,” You keeps your face in your hands. You cry and cry as that is all you can muster enough strength to do.

Luke keeps holding Anakin but looks at you. This bond with Ben has to be what Luke thinks it is. He never knew it could be so strong and affect the persons in this way. He must consult the sacred texts about all of this. He will after you calm down some. He has to take care of your needs first. Your well being is more important than answers to his questions right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a very painful chapter for me to write and I'm sure it was painful to read. Please, understand that this is apart of the canon compliance that I did tag as well as the major character death warning that I put. (This will mark the end of full canon compliance.) It is important to the plot of this story just as it was important to the plot of the original story. I do promise there will be a happy ending to this story but these tragic moments are apart of the journey to get there. I hope no one is turned off by this chapter but if you are I understand and hope you forgive me.


	120. Ach-To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! I can't believe it is New Years Eve! 2020 has been a ROUGH year. I am so glad that you all helped to keep me sane and encouraged during it. I hope all of you have a happy new year that is far better than this year! :D   
> Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 120

Laid up in the medical bay on the Finalizer, surrounded by medical droids spraying him with bacta and carefully placing bacta patches, the sedated Kylo Ren looks like nothing more than another victim. General Hux sees no power in the commander. In fact, he sees the commander is weak, vulnerable, and at the mercy of the droids. General Hux stands with his hands folded behind him. His eyes stay on the groaning Kylo. He enjoys the sounds of pain coming from the black-haired leader.

He deserves to be in pain after his failure. He should have taken the droid not the girl. He should have not been so obsessed with the map either. He should have just gone along with just using the weapon. But no, Ren can never listen to anyone but himself or Snoke. Now he will see his folly. He will learn to listen to me. General Hux thinks to himself and gains a snide smirk.

The droids finish their work and leave the resting commander. Hux stays though. He walks to the side of the bed to get a better look at the wounded man. He sees that scavenger bitch has left a gruesome scar going across his face, down his neck and to his chest.

What a pity it is that the scar shall ruin his face. Hux remarks in his mind. He grabs the sheet covering Kylo’s naked body and lifts it up. He wants to see the other wounds and to see if anything else of importance have been injured. His mouth salivates seeing the large organ you loved so dearly is perfectly intact and unmarred.

“Well, that’s good,” He says aloud though he did not mean to do so. He lowers the covering as he realizes he should not be looking there.

Hux finally leaves the medical bay. He must see to it that the surviving fleet of the First Order is run smoothly as they journey to meet Snoke. He must also see what has become of the temporarily victorious Resistance. Surely, they cannot celebrate too long as their largest support was destroyed by Starkiller Base before its own destruction.

Kylo medicated state may have left him immobile but his mind is still active. He is stuck a rotation of his most recent memories. He sees his father die at his hands, his Uncle Chewie shoot him, his battle with the scavenger and then you. He sees the briefest glimpse of you. He wishes his hands had not been covered by his gloves so he could have seen if he felt flesh and not spirit. But the memories rotate again and again leaving him in mental agony while his body tries to heal.

Kylo is not alone in his agony. His mother sits on D’Qar with heart destroyed. She should be celebrating with the others about their victory but she cannot. She knows Han is dead. The love of her life is dead. And after talking with the girl who witnessed it, she knows it was her own son who killed him. Chewie confirmed this as well when they spoke.

Why, Ben? Why did you kill him? She asks though she knows she will not get an answer or be heard. If she knew ben would kill Han, she never would have begged him to save Ben. Now she has lost her husband and her son all over again but this time more permanently. How can she ever reconcile with Ben now?

Leia is so grieved but she knows she still loves her son. She loves him but he is going so far down this dark path. How she wishes she could have reached him before this. She did try. She met with his wife and you both discussed your desires to be one family again. You were going to be the emissary for Leia but you died. She could not believe the rumor that it was Ben who killed you but now…she wonders…he did kill his father. Did he kill you and the twins too?

No. Leia shakes her head. It makes more sense to kill Han. They were estranged and Ben must have had some hate toward his father. But you, he loved you. Leia knew that even with the brief interactions. It must have been your death that has sent Ben so far away that he would kill his own father.

Leia closes her moist eyes as she trembles. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness comes over her. Han is dead. The daughter-in-law and grandchildren who had given her and Han so much hope are dead. Ben is Kylo Ren. No one here on D’Qar will ever be able to fill the spots in her heart. She would rely on Chewie to help with this grief but he is gone. He and the girl have left to seek out Luke.

Luke…if he had been here- She cannot think on what could have been. She must think on what is. But once she finds Luke she will have someone who understands her grief and someone to support her. She will have her brother and he will help the Resistance just as he did the Rebellion. He will help set everything right in the galaxy as he once did before even if he and she will never be able to save Ben.

-

You have grieved in the time passed since you saw Han’s death and had the briefest of moment with Ben. You are trying to process why Ben killed Han and why you literally felt the pain Ben experienced. Luke has been searching the sacred Jedi texts for an explanation on the latter. He has yet to return with the answer.

You sit up on the cliff on the rock outside the cave with the Jedi mosaic. You have left Anakin in the care of the caretakers who have recently begun playing with the toys they have made for your son. You are so glad they care for him so you can have your training, meditation, and alone times.

You look at the white clouds in the sky. You start to lower them when you notice something flying. It is not a bird. It is round-ish and gray. It flies straight toward your island. You leap up. It’s a ship!

You race down the mountain as quickly as possible. If this is a ship it can get you and Anakin off this planet. It can take you back to Ben!

As you run down, you collide with Luke on the cliffs as he is coming up to meet you. He catches you in his hands.

“Where are you going?” He tilts his head slightly.

“Do you not see that ship?” You point to the ship that comes lower. Luke’s eyes finally see it. He had been to focused on the information he learned that he did not notice. His eyes know immediately what ship it is. But the pilot he is dubious of as he knows the rightful pilot has been killed.

“I must go to it. It will get Anakin and me off this planet,” You start to go run again. Luke does not let you go though.

“I would not approach it yet. We do not know who is inside of it. It could be an enemy,” Luke is cautious.

“Then I’ll kill them. Let me go, Luke. I have to find out if they can take us away,” You try to break from his hold. Luke frowns. He does not want to let you go. He does not trust what will happen if he does. You and Anakin will not be as safe as you two are here on Ach-to with him.

“Luke, let me go,” you repeat. He does. As you run away, Luke covers himself with his hood. He sulks as he knows you will leave him now.

You continue to run though the ship is out of your view now. You are not sure where it has landed. Getting closer to the water, you sense a presence from months and months ago. As you reach a path leading down to a part of the beach where there is large rock slab, you see the ship. Now, you can clearly see it is the ship from Ben’s memories, the Millennium Falcon! This is Han’s ship. But Han is dead and he lost this ship long ago. Who has the ship now?

You careful as you start down the pathway. You see the door open to let its inhabitants out. You stop and hide behind a large stone that is on the side of the path. You see a blue and white R2 unit roll out. It is followed by a girl.

She looks around with an astonished look on her pretty face. You see she has three dark buns on the back of her head and she wear all gray. You have seen her before. You saw her in the vision on Takodana when you touched Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber. This is the girl that was supposed to have the lightsaber. This is also the girl who must have fought Ben on Starkiller Base. Is she the one who left his cut up on Starkiller Base?

Your anger toward her grows. How dare she hurt your husband! You keep yourself from jumping out and attacking her. It is not the right thing to do.

Something else starts to come out of the ship. Tall and covered in hair from head to toe, you know exactly who this hairy beast is.

“Chewie!” You jump from your hiding place. The girl, droid and Wookie look at you. The girl holds a large staff and holds it out to protect herself and Chewie as you hurriedly start down the path toward them. Chewie lets out a growl of positive recognition making the girl lower her weapon. Reaching the bottom, you quickly embrace Chewie.

Chewie’s big furry arms wrap around you. You enjoy the feel of him against him. You sense his excitement, confusion and sadness all in him. He starts to talk and you do not fail to understand him this time.

“I know. It has been a long time, Chewie,” You agree. He expresses his surprise that you understand him.

It not by some miracle that you learned to speak the Wookie’s language. You wanted to learn ever since you met Chewie but never found a teacher till you were with Ben on Enarc. Ben had bought a plush Wookie doll for the twins. You recall how it all went.

“Rawr, Ben,” You held the doll in front of your face to make the doll talk. Ben rolled his eyes when you did.

“That’s not how they talk,” he corrected you. You laughed and lowered it.

“I know but it is how it sounds, at least to me,” You put the doll back in the pram.

“They did not teach the troopers to speak Shyriiwook?” Ben was shocked at the lack of language education.

“It was taught to some but not all. Jyn knows it but I don’t.”

“Well, you and all the other troopers should learn it. It is better to understand a Wookie’s words than learn what it meant by being beaten to a pulp for not knowing what was said,” Ben gave his opinion.

“I suppose you are right. You speak it though, right?” You knew he must. He grew up with Chewbacca, right?

“I do…” Ben paused, “I should just teach you Shyriiwook.”

“Really? Please, teach me then, Master,” You grinned excitedly. You take a hold of his arms. He holds yours.

Ben made a gargling growl noise. It made you jump but also laugh. It was strange to hear him make such a noise.

“What was that?” You giggled. He grinned at your reaction.

“Shyriiwook,” He answered clearly amused with your reaction.

“It sounds so strange,” You could not stop chuckling. Ben made more strange growls and gargled like a Wookie would. The more noises he made the more you would laugh.

“Come on, I’ll teach you now. Repeat after me,” Ben mades a _very_ specific noise. You listened closely.

“Now you try,” Ben stopped making the noises.

“Um…” you did your best to mimic Ben but you ended up laughing at how silly you sound. He smiled humored by your attempts but he repeated the noise slowly and encouraged you to repeat it.

“It just needs to be a bit more nasal like this,” Ben did his final rendition of the noise. You followed his directions and made the nasal then guttural growl.

“That’s it,” Ben was satisfied with your performance.

“What did you and I say?” You needed to know what you have just learned. You hoped it was not something foul like “fuck you”. Just teaching you a simple greeting was preferred. But you sensed his teasing nature being out and the phrase he may have taught you may have been just nonsense.

Ben’s hands went to your jaw so he could cradle your face. His eyes were tender.

“I love you.”

Your skin tingled and your heart flipped. You never got tire of hearing him say that. You loved that the first real Shyriiwook he taught you was ‘I love you’. Of course, then you two ended up making love right there in the nursery. But after that, Ben did his best to find time every night to teach you to at least understand Shyriiwook even if you could not speak it. You are glad Ben spent those months teaching you so now as you are reunited with Chewie, you can understand him.

“Oh, Chewie, you have no idea how glad I am to see you,” you hug him once more. He of course had to question how you are on this planet and how you are alive.

“I crashed her while escaping from Snoke. I have been stranded here ever since,” You step back and tell Chewie.

“You were running from Snoke?” the girl speaks up. You look to her then back to Chewie.

“Snoke was trying to kill me so I escaped in a TIE-Fighter. I got shot down in lightspeed and crashed here. Luckily, Luke saved me,” You tell the Wookie rather than telling the girl.

“Luke Skywalker is still here then!” the girl smiles. You face her and nod.

“What do you want with Luke?” You finally speak to her.

“We are going to take him back to the Resistance,” the girl answers confidently. You would scoff at her as you know Luke has no want to leave this island but you control yourself.

“You can try. He is up o the cliffs,” you point up to where you had run into him earlier.

“Oh! Thank you!” She starts off leaving you and Chewie alone with the droid.

“Chewie, I am so sorry about Han,” You feel your tears coming again. He makes a sad whine but questions how you know. You wipe your escaping tears.

“I saw it through the force. I saw it all. I never thought Ben would actually…” More tears come out. Chewie pulls you into a hug so you two can both cry together. A Wookie’s hug is far more than comforting.

When you two finally separate you wipe at face again.

“I am glad you are here, Chewie.”

He nods and tells you of his happiness to see you too especially after what he and Han heard.

“What did you two hear?”

Chewie shares the message that Leia gave Han about your death and the death of the children. You cover your mouth at the horrid rumor of your demise and at the hands of Dr. Ryza.

“No. That is all wrong. Dr. Ryza saved me. She put us on the TIE Fighter that I crashed here,” You do not want Dr. Rhyza’s sacrifice to be besmirched. Chewie processes what you have said.

“I would have contacted Han but there was no way for me to communicate with anyone on the planet,” Your eyes go down and well up with tears again as you think of Han, “I wish I could have told him I was alive and the twins were too. I wish he could have met them…”

Chewie knows that is what Han would have wished too. He had to support han as he grieved losing his grandchildren and you. Han’s pain was his. But now he knows you are alive and your children are too. Han would have been filled with joy so Chewie is too.

“But you are here and I am so glad you are. Please, come to my house. I want you to meet Anakin,” You take Chewie by the wrists. He comes along with you. The droid rolls with you too.

“Who is that?” You ask when Chewie picks up the droid to go up the stairs. The droid chirps out his own reply to you

“It is nice to meet you too, R2D2. I’m Meia Solo,” You introduce yourself by your non-First Order name. The droid is surprised by the surname ‘Solo’.

The three of you reach your hut. You open the door and the caretakers look up from the baby on the floor to you. When their dark eyes land on Chewie and step back to protect Anakin.

“He is a friend,” You hold Chewie’s hand to show the relationship. The Lanai still eye the Wookie but leave when you ask politely. You have learned their language by now as well. You go and pick Anakin off the floor. You put your arm around Anakin’s stomach and your other under his knees so the child is sitting up but leaning against your chest. You present him to Chewie.

“This is Anakin,” You smile proudly. Chewie stares at the babe whose dark brown eyes take in the large Wookie. The baby smiles and squeals at the sight of Chewie. You are glad he is not afraid.

Chewie cannot help seeing that this child is Ben incarnate. He is the curve of the child’s smile is the same as Ben’s and Han’s. The Wookie knows this all Han wanted. He wanted a little Ben and second chance to right.

Anakin babbles and reaches his arms out toward the Wookie. Chewie steps forward so Anakin can grab hold of the fur. Anakin takes fists full of the fur and tugs lightly. Ben used to do that too. Chewie asks to hold the child. You nod and give him over to the Wookie. Chewie hold him with his arms straight out and continues to look at he child.

Will this boy also turn into a murderer like his father? Chewie wonders. He looks deeply into the eyes that are from Leia. He is wholly innocent and wholly Han’s. He will love this child as Han would have. Chewie brings Anakin close to his chest and hugs him. He is careful not to crush the baby. Your heart is warmed by the sight. Chewie then asks for the other child.

“She…she was taken from me before I escaped. I don’t know where she is,” You have to speak of Hanamé. Chewie grows concerned. He asks if the child was left on Starkiller Base. He panics interally that she might have been killed when the planet was destroyed.

“I don’t think so. I had a vision of her location and it was nothing like Starkiller Base. But I do know she is alive.”

Chewie is relieved that Han’s other grandchild is not lost on the base he helped destroy.

“I do need to find her, Chewie. You will help us leave this planet and find her, right?” You touch Chewie’s full arms.

“Chewie! Chewie!” You both hear the girl calling the Wookie. Chewie hands you the child and opens the door. He walks out to see the girl looking around for him. He goes to her.

“Chewie, he tossed the lightsaber aside then would not speak to me. He’s locked himself in a hut up there. You cup to the doorway and look at where she is pointing. Luke ignored this girl?

Chewie walks with the girl up to Luke’s hut. You follow at a distance leaving R2D2 in your hut. The girl knocks on the door with her staff.

“Go away,” Luke orders.

Chewie growls and kicks in the door. Chewie goes inside. You can hear him roar. The girl runs inside. You come closer quickly concerned for Luke.

“Chewie, what are you doing here?” Luke asks looking at the Wookie.

“He said you’re coming back with us,” The girl translates for Chewie.

“How did you find me?” Luke looks at Chewie.

“Long story. We’ll tell you on the Falcon,” The girl is very determined to get Luke off this planet.

“Falcon?” Luke repeats the word surprised that she refers to it just by that instead of the full name. Chewie looks down sadly as even the word makes him think of Han.

“Han…” Luke knows of Han’s demise as well from the little incident you had.

“You may not know this but Han Solo is dead. He was killed by Kylo Ren,” the girl proceeds to tell Luke. Luke pass Chewie and the girl to go outside. He sees you there holding Anakin. The girl and Chewie come out of the hut after Luke. Luke takes a seat out in the fresh air. You do not come near him though. The girl goes in front of Luke not paying you attention.

“There’s no light left in Kylo Ren. He’s only getting stronger. The First Order will control all the major systems within weeks. We need your help. We need the Jedi Order back. We need Luke Skywalker,” The girl makes her case to Luke.

“You don’t need Luke Skywalker,” Luke disagrees.

“Did you hear a word I just said?” the girl becomes a tad frustrated.

Welcome to my world. You think.

“You think what? I’m gonna walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order?” Luke balks at the idea. He stands up. “What did you think was going to happen here? You think I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy for no reason at all? Go away.”

Luke turns to go away. You know he is probably going to go meditate in the mountains.

“I’m not going without you!” The girl declares. Luke just walks on his way. The girl looks back at Chewie baffled.

“I’m going to follow him,” the girl informs Chewie. The Wookie nods understandingly.

“You might want a poncho. It is going to rain,” You speak to her. She finally looks at you. Her eyes double seeing the baby in your arms that is turned so his face is toward you. You go back to your hut and come out with one of the ponchos the Lanai made you. You toss it to her.

“Thank you,” She puts it on and walks away to go after Luke.

“You should come back to my hut or go back to your ship. It will rain soon,” you tell Chewie. Chewie suggests you come with him to the ship. You feel Anakin grabbing at your breasts.

“I need to feed Anakin. I will come to the ship later,” You decide. Chewie gets R2D2 and carries off toward the ship while you prepare to feed Anakin.

“We are going to finally get off this planet, Anakin. We are going to find Daddy,” You tell him as he feeds. You cannot wait. You will probably leave first thing in the morning. You will go to wherever the Resistance is and meet Leia so she too can see that you and Anakin are alive. You then contact the First Order so Ben will know you and Anakin are alive. You all can be together again! Sure, there will be some complications because of the Resistance and First Order problems but they can be solved later. All that matter is you and Ben reunited with Anakin. Then together you two can go get Hanamé. Yes, this is going to be so great!


	121. The Ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! I hope you all will have an amazing 2021!  
> Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 121

For your midday meal, Luke comes to you with cooked fish he has caught. You happily welcome into the hut though he is dripping rain water everywhere. You see the girl has followed him. She stands out in the rain and wants to come inside but Luke shuts the door in her face. You bite your tongue to keep from laughing.

“Luke, you are not being kind to that girl,” You point out as you take some fish from him.

“I will not go with her. I am to die here. She’ll get tired and leave soon,” He takes a bite of his fish. You get up and look out the window. She sits on the ground with the poncho’s hood up. She stares at the door. The rain is starting to subside now. The clouds will part soon.

“I don’t know, Luke. She seems very determined,” You come to sit back down.

“I am sure my will is stronger than hers,” He does not even look in the direction of the door.

“Hmmm…” You eat more of your fish. You understand Luke’s resistance to go to the Resistance but if this girl means what she said about not leaving till Luke does then you might be forced to stay on this planet longer. You cannot stay here.

“You know you can always go then come back here to die,” You offer a compromise. Luke looks up at you. He does not like this solution.

“If I go then I’ll never be able to come back. Leia would never let me,” Luke thinks of his sister, “Especially now that Han is dead and Kylo is too far gone.”

“Ben is not too far gone. I know there is light in him still. He just made a terrible choice,” You defend Ben.

“You really think killing Han is a sign of light? You are being blinded by your love for him,” Luke shakes his head.

“You did not see what I saw. It was hard for him. He did not make the choice lightly. I don’t know why he did it but I know it pained him greatly to do it. If he had no light, he would not-”

“He would not have killed Han,” Luke finished for you but it is not the phrase you were going to say.

“He would not have cried,” You finish for yourself. You saw the tear that left Ben’s eye. “Don’t let the anger and grief over make you blind to Ben’s faint light.”

Luke shakes his head finding his food turning from flavorful fish to dirt. He swallows it along with your rebuke. He knows he should not be mad at your faith and hope in your husband. But he cannot see the light in Ben. Ben destroyed his Jedi temple and his students. He became Kylo Ren. He has bene responsible for so much death and destruction. He killed Han!

“If there is any light left in that boy, it is nothing but a glowing ember that will soon be snuffed out.”

“Not unless I go to him. It will grow again,” You are convinced. Luke is not.

“If you do go to him, you will be sucked into the darkness with him,” Luke believes.

“Do you have such little faith in me that you believe that I would slip back into the darkness?”

“I did not mean that. I just meant that you are so in love with him that you may be more susceptible to following his path.” Luke tries to explain his way out this problem. You press your lips together still hurt at his lack of faith in you.

“You remember when you told me how you were visited by the ghost of your former master Obi-Wan Kenobi?” You bring up to former Jedi Master.

“Yes?” Luke is surprised at your sudden change in topics.

“I never told you but I too have been visited by the ghost of a Jedi, on many occasions in fact.”

“Is that so? Who?” Luke leans in genuinely curious and surprised.

“Anakin Skywalker.”

“My father?” Luke leans back not sure of how that could have happened.

“Yes, _your_ father. He had come to me many times while I was first being trained by Ben and in the brief time I was apart from Ben. He told me he could reach me because I was light. He charged me with the mission to help Ben, to save Ben, to lead Ben back to the light. He told me if I turned to the light, Ben would turn to the light because Ben’s heart follows mine. So, it saddens me that a ghost has more faith in me and Ben than my own mentor.”

Luke tries to understand why his father has come to you and not him. Why would Anakin Skywalker reach out to…well…a nobody? When Luke tried to communicate with his father when he was struggling with Ben, Anakin did not answer him. But he answered you? Why?

You sense Luke’s frustrated confusion.

“Why did he speak to you?” Luke finally asks you.

“It is easier for lovers to reach each other, isn’t it?”

“I suppose,” Luke is still not over his jealousy that his own father chose to speak to this girl over him when he needed him.

“Do not be cross about it, Luke.”

“I’m not cross,” He denies.

“I know you are. I’ve lived with you for seven months. And Ben was a bit jealous too when he found out. But I hope you will accept and support that I am meant to be with Ben and help him give into the light that is still in him.”

Luke exhales loudly. He knows he should accept and support you but his own personal feelings about him keep him from doing so. If you leave, then he will be alone again and you may be the one to turn and not Ben.

“And you should go with this girl and Chewie. We should all go to the Resistance. You should help them as I help Ben,” You add on the journey. Luke is the key to getting the girl to leave and to get you off this planet.

“I’m going to go meditate,” Luke gruffly puts down his half-eaten food. He leaves the hut and finds the other girl waiting there for him and that the rain has stopped. He groans and walks away. She follows him.

You sigh and finish your food. You eat Luke’s as well as you do not want it to go to waste. You get rid of the trash and use this time with Anakin asleep to gather your belongings as you should be leaving this planet soon.

Evening comes, you are packed and ready to go. You are just waiting for Luke or Chewie to fetch you. You hear Luke outside. You come out excitedly hoping it is a sign to go. Instead, you see Luke going into his hut and the girl sitting on the ground outside his hut.

You step out of the hut. The girl looks at you when you approach.

“Is he packing to go?” You ask her.

“No. So, I am going to sit here and wait,” the girl faces the door again.

“Well, we can leave and come back for him,” you suggest wanting to get the ball rolling to leave.

“No. I will not leave till he comes with me,” She does not look at you.

“But surely there is a timeline set by the Resistance,” You bring up this girl’s organization.

“I was just told to get him. I will wait as long as I have to take him back.”

You cross your arms at this statement. Luke has given no sign that he will leave Ach-To.

“Well, how about Chewie and I leave then come back for you and Luke when you two are ready?” You suggest an alternative.

“Chewie will not leave until I do. I am the pilot of the Millennium Falcon now,” she states rather proudly. You find her a bit too smug for your liking. Besides should not the ship be passed to Ben and if not Ben then Anakin? They are Han’s family after all.

“I’m sure you can spare Chewie and the ship a day or two while you wait for Luke to come around,” You try to keep your voice light. She looks back to you with one eyebrow up and her nose crinkled as if _she_ were annoyed by _you_.

“Why do you want my ship so badly?” she asks.

“I need to get off this planet as soon as possible. I’ve been trapped her for seven months. I have a husband and child to return to elsewhere,” You will not tell her your spouse is Kylo Ren.

“Why don’t you just take the X-Wing in the water on the far part of the island?” the girl brings up what should be an easy fix. You freeze.

“There’s an X-Wing?” You feel your blood boil.

“Yes. Haven’t you seen it?” She is surprised. Someone who has been here for so long should have found it by now, right?

“LUKE!” You scream and kick his fixed door inside. You see Luke tensed up the scowling.

“What was that for?” He gestures to the door. You grab him by his collar.

“Why the hell did you not tell me there was a fucking X-Wing on this island the entire time I was here?” You gnash your teeth at him. Panic comes into his baby blues.

“Who told you that?”

“That girl. Is it true? You hid a way off this damn planet for seven fucking months even though you knew how important it is for me to leave?”

He gulps.

“Yes.” He finally nods. You drop him. You would force choke the shit out of him but it would not help anything and convince him even more that you could easily fall to the dark side.

“You fucking asshole!” Your anger decides to come out in tears. You hate that you are crying out of anger. You turn and start to leave. You get out of the hut but Luke grabs your arm. The girl outside has risen to her feet in concern for Luke.

“Meia, please, I didn’t tell you to protect you,” he claims. You rip her arm from his grasp.

“Protect _me_? You didn’t tell me so _you_ would be protected, so _you_ wouldn’t be alone. Fuck! Luke, how could you do this to me? To Anakin?”

“You were in no condition to travel and by the time you were…” Luke pauses, “I knew I could not let you go. You would have gone back to him and would have been seduced to the darkness.”

“If I had gone back, I could have exposed Snoke. I could have turned Ben. I could have found my daughter. Han wouldn’t have died!”

“You don’t know that!”

“Now I’ll never know because you kept me trapped here!” You scream in his face. You take several deep breaths. You see the girl gawking at you. Luke’s eyes are downcast.

“I can’t believe I trusted you. I can’t believe I thought of you as a father,” Your voice is quiet and your tears fall to the ground.

“Meia…I’m sorry,” He apologizes and reaches for you.

“Don’t touch me,” you smack away his hand. You start for your hut.

“Meia!” Luke stays after you.

“Don’t follow me!” You keep your back to him and increase your speed.

“Meia, please!” Luke keeps railing you as the girl keeps following him. You get into your hut and slam the door into his face. You use the force to keep it shut against his attempts to enter. You sit and cry. You cannot believe that this whole time you had a way out. You cannot believe he lied to you. You cannot believe he kept you from Ben all of this time.

“Meia. Meia. Meia, please. Open the door. Please,” Luke begs. You cover your ears. You are so sick of his voice and him calling you “Meia”. You want Ben’s voice. You want to hear him call you by your true name. You want Ben.

Ben…Your heart cries out for him.

“Stop this crying,” You tell yourself. “Get up and go.”

You wipe your face. You gather what you packed and grab the still napping Anakin. You carrying him and open the door.

“Meia,” Luke seems relieved that you have opened the door btu he loses it when he sees your bag packed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving. I’m either taking the Millennium Falcon or I’m taking the X-Wing!” You declare and push him out of your way.

“You are taking _my_ ship,” the girl blocks you with her staff. You glare at her.

“ _Your_ ship? The Millennium Falcon is not _your_ ship. It is _Han’s_ ship!” You remind her of the true owner. She flushes angered.

“He is dead and I know he would want me to have it!” the girl keeps you blocked still.

“Oh really? Who are you?”

“Rey,” She finally gives you’re her name.

“Well, Rey, who are you to Han? Are you his daughter, niece, or any sort of relative?” You know she cannot be.

“No…” Rey starts to lose her confidence.

“Were you his wife or lover?” You know the answer to this as well.

“No.”

“How did you even know Han?” You finally ask because you are genuinely curious to know what sort of relationship had come between your father-in-law and this stranger.

“I stole the Millennium Falcon from Jakku and Han caught me and Finn. We traveled ton Takodana together and we bonded,” She answers.

“How long did you two travel together?” You ask further.

“About a day,” She mumbles.

“A day? A day! You think that because you bonded with a man after a day that _you_ should have his ship?” You laugh at the absurdity of it all. The Rey’s sharp eyebrows dip down and she presses her lips into a straight line.

“Who do you think that ship belongs to then? Huh? Leia does not want it and Chewie says he just wants to be a co-pilot! Do you think you should have the ship? Who even are you?” Rey finally musters the courage to question you back.

“I’m Meia Solo.”

Rey’s hazel eyes triple.

“Solo?” She repeats the surname you have taken. It is yours after all. You are married to Ben Solo.

“Yes, Solo. So, I do have more of a claim on the ship than _you_.”

“Neither Han, Leia, nor Chewie ever mentioned a ‘Meia’,” Rey tries to recall any instance of this.

“Because for the past seven months they believed I was dead because this asshole,” You gesture to Luke, “decided to keep me trapped here instead of letting me off this planet to tell all that I am alive!”

“So, you are Han and Leia’s daughter?” Rey wants to know the connection though she does _not_ see a family resemblance.

“Daughter- _in-law_ ,” You reveal the relationship.

“You mean…you’re married to…Kylo Ren?” Rey asks disgusted with the possibility.

“Yes, and this is his child,” You turn Anakin so she can see him. Rey immediately sees the resemblance between the baby and the man who interrogated her and killed Han.

“So, my son and I have more rights to that ship than you. So, I’m taking and leaving,” You assert your rights and start to walk again.

“I am not going to let you go back to that monster!” Rey blocks you again this time with her whole body.

“You think you can stop me?” You laugh.

“Yes,” She grips the staff tighter. You grab your lightsaber from your hip. You turn it on and see the girl’s eyes focus on it.

“You’re a Jedi?” She looks up at you surprised the looks to Luke, “You said you were the last of the Jedi and you would not train anymore.”

“I am no Jedi,” You state.

“She is not. I did not lie to you,” Luke points out his honesty to the other girl.

“Then what are you? Are you like Kylo Ren?” She asks regripping the staff again. She is ready to fight you. She speaks as if Kylo is the worst thing there can be. She is so ignorant.

“Yes. So, unless you want a lightsaber through your chest like Han, I suggest getting the fuck out of my way,” You snap. One of her hands leave her staff and reaches into the bag she carries. She lets the staff fall to the ground as she holds out and turns on a lightsaber of her own. You know it is the one from Takodana, it is Anakin Skywalker’s.

“I defeated Kylo Ren. I can defeat you too,” Rey boasts.

“I have defeated Tusken Raiders, Wampas, elite bodyguards, a Space Pirate captain, and Luke Skywalker,” You list your impressive victories, “You really think you can defeat me?”

“Yes.” She does not back down.

“Let’s do this then,” You get into a fighting stance. You will defeat this child. You will!


	122. Decisions, Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! As you may be able to tell, this part of the story is sort of coinciding with the events of The Last Jedi. I have some canon compliance with this movie but TONs of non-compliance as well. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 122

“Stop this. You two are not going to fight,” Luke steps between you and Rey.

“We are! Get out of the way, Luke!” You order.

“Please, Master Skywalker,” Rey is far more respectful to the Jedi Master.

“No. I will not let you two carry on like this,” Luke refuses to move and looks at you, “For goodness sake, Meia, you have a child in your arms. You cannot fight like that.”

“I fought with him in my womb, I can fight with him in my arm,” You will not back down.

“No. You will not hurt your son because you are angry,” Luke approaches you.

“I have to get off this planet and I will not let that girl stop me. _You_ have hindered me long enough!” You lift your lightsaber and shake it at Luke.

Luke presses his lips together tightly as his forehead wrinkles. He sees you are on the verge of crying from frustration again. He knows he has wronged you. He has trapped you just as you said for his own selfish desires to have someone. He senses the anger and hurt in you. He begins to realize… _this_ may cause you to slip into the dark, not returning to Ben. He cannot let that happen. He cannot let you slip away as Ben did. He cannot fail twice.

“Put the lightsaber away. You don’t need to fight about getting off this planet anymore,” Luke speaks calmly to you then looks to Rey. “I will go with you.”

“You will?” You and Rey speak simultaneously.

“Yes. Now you two put away your weapons. I will gather my things and we will go,” Luke decides. Rey turns off her lightsaber and you turn off yours. Luke turns to return to his hut. Rey picks up her staff but glares at you. You meet her glare with your own. You two stand in an awkward silence unsure of what to say or do.

“I better go tell Chewie to get ready,” Rey breaks the silence and starts to leave.

“I will come as well,” You decide. She keeps walking and you stay behind her. You two do not speak a word as you two go down the path. Coming toward the resting place of the Millennium Falcon, you both hear the roaring of Chewie. You both run to find out what is wrong.

“No!” You and Rey scream seeing a large sea beast with the back end of the ship in its mouth. It wants to pull the Falcon into the sea. You drop your bag.

“Hold Anakin, Chewie,” You hand off your child to the Wookie. You run and use the force to propel you up onto the ship. With the lightsaber on in your hand, you charge the beast. You will not let this fucking creature keep you from leaving this planet.

“Yahhhh!” You jump again. The beast releases the ship and opens its large fanged mouth at you. You fly over the mouth and begin to fall to its back. You lunge your lightsaber into the head then slide down the back of the sea serpent thus splitting it in half. It starts to fall in two pieces back into the water. You barely managed to jump back to the stone ground where the others are.

You turn off your lightsaber and take a few breaths. You look to Chewie and Rey who gape at you. You sense Rey is reconsidering wanting to fight you now. You put away your lightsaber, pick up your bag and come to Chewie with your arms open to take the now awake but still quiet Anakin from Chewie.

“Let’s check the damages, Chewie,” Rey comes out of her shock. The two pilots of the damaged ship go to see how functional the ship still is. You sit with Anakin and put him on your knees so you can look him in the eyes. You smile at him. You want to hide the fear you have that the ship might be damaged.

“We are going to see Daddy soon, Anakin. We will see Daddy and Grandma Leia. Then we are going to find your sister,” You tell him though you are really telling yourself.

“What happened here?” Luke finally makes it down the hill.

“One of the sea beasts attacked the ship so I killed it. They are checking the ship for damages,” You inform Luke.

“Oh…Is there much damage?” Luke asks.

“I don’t know but there better not be or else you are going to have to teach me how to fly a X-Wing. Won’t he, Anakin?” You look to Anakin and speak in cheerful tones so the babe will not suspect your frustration building. Luke sits next to you. You scoot over an inch. You are still not pleased with the man.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the X-Wing. I should have told you,” Luke admits his fault.

“Yes, you should have,” You bounce Anakin who enjoys the sensation.

“I was afraid. I was afraid for you and Anakin. I was afraid of being alone again. Please,” Luke puts his hand on your leg, “Forgive me.”

You stop bouncing Anakin and look at Luke. You know he is being sincere just like when he apologized for pulling his lightsaber on you. You could rationalize the lightsaber but lying to you for months is another thing.

“I promise I will not get in your way to return to Ben again,” Luke promises. You finally face him.

“Even if I slip to the dark side when we are reunited?” You bring up his fear.

If I don’t, you will slip to the dark side. I have to let you go to Ben. You are the only one who might be able to bring him back to the light. Luke thinks.

“Yes.”

“Really?” You are still not sure if you can believe him.

“If I did not mean it would I have agreed to leave this place and go to the Resistance?” Luke brings up the sacrifice he is making.

He is right. If he did not mean it he would have not have agreed to go so you could use the Millennium Falcon without fighting that Rey girl. Although you know you could have kicked her ass.

“I’ll forgive you once I get back to Ben,” You look back to Anakin.

“I guess I can live with that for now,” Luke takes his hand from your leg.

Rey comes close to you three. You look from Anakin to her.

“I’m sorry, Master Skywalker but the ship has sustained some serious damage it might take a couple fo days to fix according to Chewie,” Rey apologizes to Luke though he is not the one upset.

“Take me to the X-Wing,” You tuns to Luke.

“Once I get it out of the water it will take days to drain the water from the engines,” Luke informs you of the complication with the X-Wing.

“So, either way I’m stuck here for a few more days?” You bring a finger up to rub the tension forming in the center of your forehead.

“Looks like it. I’m sorry, Meia,” Luke pats your shoulder. You take a deep breath and stand up with Anakin.

“We will be going back to our hut then,” You take Anakin and your belongings with you as you start for your hut.

Rey stays with Luke. They both watch you leave.

“I should go too. You and Chewie have a lot of work to do,” Luke starts to get up.

“Chewie said he will take care of most of the repairs,” Rey speaks rather suddenly as if this will give Luke a reason to stay with her. Luke senses what she wants.

“I already told you I’m not going to be your teacher,” Luke puts out his refusal once more.

“But you changed your mind about leaving this planet. Can’t you reconsider? You said yourself I need a teacher and there are no more Jedi but you,” She brings up earlier statements he gave her.

“I am not training you. I’m not training anymore Jedi,” Luke wants to go back to his hut.

“But, Master Skywalker, that makes no sense. The Jedi are needed now more than ever. Kylo Ren is strong with the dark side of the Force. Without the Jedi, we won’t stand a chance,” Rey does her best to try to convince Luke.

Luke sees how earnest she is. He doesn’t have train her but he could enlighten her some about the force and why the Jedi are to end. Chewie appears and calls for Rey.

“I guess Chewie does need my help for this moment, Master Skywalker, but I still think-”

“Tomorrow at dawn. Three lessons. I will teach you the ways of the Jedi and why they need to end” Luke interrupts her and gives her a time and purpose for their meeting. She smiles.

“Yes, Master Skywalker!” She agrees happily then runs to help Chewie. Luke starts to go back up to his hut. He is glad it will be a few days before he has to leave. He is not ready to face Leia yet. He cannot tell her about what happened with Ben. He cannot tell her that he purposefully hid you here for months. But he will have to once they leave. He will try to consider what to say to her when he sees her.

* * *

Kylo heads to the throne room on the ship to see his master Supreme Leader Snoke. Kylo hides his patched face beneath the helmet that an officer found and brought to Hux after the escape from Starkiller Base. He is glad to have the helmet cover his face. He hates that he now bears the mark of failure to defeat that scavenger girl. He hates that his eyes have dark circles that show off his lack of ability to sleep since he woke from surgery. How can he sleep? Each time he closes his eyes he sees either his father dying or the girl defeating him. If you were the one popping up, he could get some sleep.

In the elevator, Kylo takes some deep breaths. He has to stay calm before Snoke. He cannot show even the faintest sign of sadness over the events that have transpired.

The elevator door opens and Kylo walks into Snoke’s throne room on the Finalizer. He goes before the laughing Supreme Leader.

“Tied on a string indeed, General Hux. Well done. The Resistance will soon be in our grasp,” Snoke is speaking to the General who is already present in the room. Kylo rolls his eyes at the presence of Hux. Although Hux did get him off Starkiller Base before the explosion, Kylo hates the guy. Hux looks back at Kylo then to the Supreme Leader.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader,” Hux turns and leaves. He smirks at Kylo as he passes him. Ugh, Kylo cannot stand the general. He does not understand why Snoke keeps Hux around.

Kylo kneels before Snoke.

“You wonder why I keep a rabid cur in such a place of power? A cur’s weakness properly manipulated, can be a sharp tool,” Snoke shares his reasoning. Kylo listens but does not exactly care. He still hates Hux.

Snoke turns his attention off Hux and back to his apprentice, “How’s your wound?”

“it’s nothing,” kylo does not want to show his mark of failure.

“Hmm…”Snoke stands up and begin to approach his pupil, “The mighty Kylo Ren…When I found you, I saw what all masters live to see. Raw, untamed power. And beyond that something truly special: the potential of your bloodline. A new Vader.”

Snoke stops just before Kylo.

“Now I fear I was mistaken.”

Mistaken? Kylo looks up to his master.

“I’ve given everything I have to you, to the dark side,” Kylo voices frustrated.

“Take that ridiculous thing off,” Snoke refers to his helmet.

Kylo brings his hand to take off his helmet. It is one of the last things he wants to do right now. But he must he obey Snoke.

“Yes, there it is,” Snoke looks at the scar still being treated and at the rathe sad pout on Kylo’s face. His eyes though downcast reveal the pain Kylo is in.

“You have too much of your father’s heart in you, young Solo,” Snoke refers to Kylo by his former name. Ben Solo is dead. Kylo is no longer Ben Solo.

“I killed Han Solo,” Kylo reminds the Supreme Leader who only turns around to go back to his throne. Kylo has to convince Snoke that he has done all he can to prove his loyalty to Snoke and the dark side.

“When the moment came, I did not hesitate,” Kylo claims angrily that Snoke is now belittling the sacrifice. Snoke looks back at him.

“And look at you. The deed split your spirit to the bone,” Snoke snaps. Kylo cannot hide this from his master. Snoke continues to berate his student.

“You were unbalanced, bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber! You failed!”

Kylo stands up. This is enough!

Snoke zaps Kylo with an electric current sending him flying backward. He will not let Kylo defy him! The Praetorian guard prepare to fight the eager commander.

“Skywalker lives. The seed of the Jedi Order lives. As long as it does, hope lives in the galaxy,” Snoke returns to his throne as Kylo regains himself and stands up. Snoke finally sits back down.

“I thought you would be the one to snuff it out. Alas, you are no Vader. You’re just a child in a mask,” Snoke gives Kylo a final verbal blow.

“We will soon descend on the Resistance. Hux has figured out how to track the scum through lightspeed. You should prove yourself useful and take out some of their ships. The more the better. Unless, you are not up to the task,” Snoke says this to provoke Kylo even further.

“I am up to the task,” Kylo leaves the throne room with his mask in hand. He stands in the elevator almost in tears out of anger.

He has given everything to the First Order. Everything! He gave up his family to follow Snoke. He killed his father for the sake of proving his loyalty. He obeyed Snoke when he ordered him to leave you to fight. He was obeying Snoke when you died! He lost you and the twins for the sake of the First Order! He went on fighting and negotiating for the First Order when all he wanted to do was die to be with you. No one in the First Order has sacrificed as much as him. He has been nothing but loyal to Snoke. Now…Snoke belittles his sacrifice and calls him a child in a mask.

Kylo look at the mask. He has always hated this mask. Ren was the one who forced him to wear it. Then Snoke encouraged it. Snoke was the one who was pro-mask. Kylo kept it and made it apart of his new identity but he did no exactly care for it. No. And you…you hated it. You hated the mask. You only wanted to see his bare face.

Kylo takes the mask into his hand and begins smashing it into the wall of the elevator. Over and over, he crushes it into the wall. Finally, he drops it and lets it fall to the floor with the scattered glass.

The elevator opens and Kylo sees some officers.

“Prepare my ship!” He orders and storms out to prepare to go fight. We will take out these Resistance scum and prove once more to Snoke that he is not a child.

Once the Finalizer and other First Order ships come out of lightspeed to pounce on the small Resistance fleet, Kylo gets into his Silencer. He along with other TIE-Fighter pilots leave their ship to shoot down the X-Wings that dare to fight back as well as the other ships.

“Follow my lead,” Kylo instructs the other pilots.

He flies his ship forward. Kylo is intentional and precise with his shots. He knows how to best maximize the blast to cause the most damage to his enemies. He even flies into the docking area of one of the ships. He fires destroying many of the Resistance fleet before they can even leave the ship. He flies out and returns to open space. He and the other pilots fly around to intimidate the head ship.

Ben? Kylo is brought out of his focus. He hears and feels her…his mother.

She is on this ship? Kylo’s heart begins to panic. He thought she would be somewhere more secure or dead from a long time ago. But there is no denying this force signature he feels is his living mother.

Leia stands in her ship trying to focus on the trace of her son’s warmth that she feels. It is Ben but she can feel his spirit is broken and torn. He is in pain. He is in pain from loss. She knows it must be because of the deaths of Han, you and the twins. His pain is overwhelming to her. She knows she only feels it as she is his mother and also suffering from the same pain.

Ben…Ben, stop this. Come back to me. Leia tries to reach him through the force.

Kylo hears his mother’s voice. He cannot come back to her. She will never really forgive him for what he has done. He has killed his father, her husband. He has helped destroy her beloved Republic. Even now he is killing her people. He cannot come back to her now. Until he can bring back Han to her by using his Sith powers, he cannot come to her. And he may not be able to get his lessons to learn what to do unless he destroys _her_ now.

Kylo sees that he has a perfect shot of the ship. If e shoots now, he can take down the ship and the Resistance can be defeated easily. He readies his thumb to shoot. He just has to shoot and he will be a step closer to learning what he needs to learn. He sweats and presses his lips together. He must do this! He must!

Ben…Leia still calls to him. Kylo’s mind is flooded with the recollections of his mother. His mother who loved and adored him. His mother who would chastise some but in the end, always wanted to hold him close and show him all her love.

“And you need to know your mother still loves you. She wants to be with you. She wants us all to be together…” Your voice comes back to his head. You told him this and he knows it is true. Even now he senses his mother’s love to him. If he were not her son, he might not have been able to feel it but he does. She still loves him.

He cannot. He cannot shoot. He cannot kill his mother too. He cannot.

Kylo moves his thumb away thus keeping him from shooting her down.

Mom…He speaks to her in the force though he does not know if she will hear him.

Though Kylo does not shoot, the other TIE Fighters do. Kylo watches as the ship where is mother is explodes. Kylo’s heart screams out “No!” but it must be what it is. It is too late for him to save his mother.

Kylo knows he cannot let anyone else know how affected he is by this. He starts flying at shooting at other ships. He does not aim very well though.

Hux’s hologram pops up in his ship. Hux is the last person Kylo wants to see right now.

“Ren, the Resistance have pulled out of range. We can’t cover you at this distance. Return to the fleet,” Hux delivers the bad news. Kylo grunts but turns around to go back.

He wants cry. He wants to cry because the last person alive who loved him is now dead too. It is his fault as well. It is his people who have killed her. He was the one to lead them to the ship and perfect spot to shoot the cruiser. His mother is dead and its all his fault. It’s all his-

Kylo freezes in the ship. He feels something. It is faint like the last bit of flame on a melted down candle.

Mom? He feels her. She is not dead. But how could she survive the blast?

Kylo parks his ship into the docking bay. He tries to think of how his mother is still alive. It is impossible…or is it? The Force works in mysterious ways. Could it have saved her? 

Kylo gets out of the ship and walks the docking bay to go back to meet with Hux and the other officers on the bridge. It is important to discuss what to do now with the Resistance on the run.

Reaching the bridge Kylo sees the surprise on everyone’s face to see him without his helmet. The few female officers are extra sure not to look at him too long. They do not want to be caught blushing.

“What are we doing now, Hux?” Kylo asks the general.

“We are having to stay at this distance but they will run out of fuel eventually. When they do, they will be out of luck and we will finally catch them,” Hux states proudly.

Kylo just nods at this information. It is good news for the First Order. 

“I think you should get back to medical bay, Ren, your patch is starting to…” Hux points at the patch that is starting to peel off Kylo’s face re-exposing his wound. Kylo reaches to touch it. He nods and follows Hux’s advice on this task.

Kylo heads to the medical bay where the droids have taken the brunt of the work. He goes to the head medical droid to bring up the issue of his face.

“I will reapply the patch, sir. It will need to be stitched up in a few hours though,” the droid states. It gets a patch to replace the old one. Kylo stands and lets the droid do its job.

“Come back in the morning and for a stitching, sir,” The medical droid gives the order that Kylo will accept.

He leaves and heads to his room. He undresses and gets in his bed. He lays there still unable to sleep. He thinks of his mother now. It is painful to think of her. At this distance he can sense she is alive, barely. He knows that once the fuel is out his men will kill her.

It is what must be done, isn’t it? But maybe after she dies, Kylo can use the ability he will learn from Snoke to bring her back from the dead too. Then he will have his whole family together again. He will have you, the twins, his father and mother. It is what you wanted and what deep down he wanted and wants too. 


	123. Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 123

Dawn comes and Rey is awake. She rubs her hazel eyes as she sits up to prepare for the day. She was up most of the night trying to help Chewie fix the ship but she made sure to get some sleep in before he training session with Master Skywalker. She is so excited to train underneath him even if he thinks the Jedi should end. She will change his mind about that. She is sure of it. She smiles to herself.

Her smile leaves her face as she suddenly feels something. It something sinister like when she was on Starkiller base. It is a presence she has tried to forget.

Across the galaxy in the medical bay of the Finalizer, Kylo allows the medical droids to get rid of the patches and stitch him up. He hardly got any sleep in the night. As the final touches are done, he senses the one who feels like you but he knows is not you. He waves the droid away. He must see if the scavenger girl is somehow near him.

Turning their head forward Rey and Kylo see each other. How the other one is in their room, they do not know. In her panic, Rey pulls out her blaster. She shoots at the man who captured her. He gasps in preparation to be shot. Yet there is no blast that has gone through him.

Rey blinks and Kylo is gone. He is replaced by a giant hole in her hut. She gets up and out of the hut. Kylo must be somewhere on the island.

Kylo cannot believe Rey and the shot have disappeared. It is strange. He must find out where she has gone on the ship.

You sit up having her a blaster shot. You look out your window and all you see is Rey walking around. You look away from her. Then you feel it. You feel Ben. Is he trying to connect with you? You look around your hut for a trace of him but you do not see him or hear him.

Rey walks out of her hut as Kylo walks around the ship. They see each other again. She is surprised to see the stitched scar on his face that she knows is from her. He realizes what is happening. It is the same thing that happened when he and you would see each other without being present. How she has made this connection he does not know. Kylo will not let the opportunity pass. 

“You will bring Luke Skywalker to me,” he attempts to mind trick her. He sees it does not work. He presses his lips together and his chin wiggles as he brings back his hand. He realizes she cannot possibly be the one making this connection. She is so new the force after all.

“You’re not doing this. The effort would kill you,” he tells her and himself. He recalls the first time the force connected you to him. He had not been aware then but you nearly died from the connection. You were laid up in medical bay for three weeks. This was because you were not yet trained well in the force. You were not able to handle it. Over time you were though. This girl could not possibly be causing this.

Kylo looks around. Just like with you, he fails to see her surroundings.

“Can you see my surroundings?” he checks.

“You’re gonna pay for what you did!” She is enraged by him. You hear the yell and head toward the hut door. Who is she yelling at? Is it someone she shot at? Is there an enemy on the island?

You go to grab your lightsaber.

“I can’t see yours,” He informs her, “Just you.”

She breathes heavily and makes no indication if she can see his surroundings either.

“So, no,” He pauses. This is different than when he would connect with you. You had been missing him when you first made the connection. The other times after that were when he wanted to be connected to you and that is why the force made the connection. It made sense for you two to be connected. It was a desired connection. This one, however, is not desired at all. “This is something else.”

Rey hears Luke’s door opening. She looks back for him. Even though Kylo only sees Rey he can sense his uncle.

“Luke.” 

“What’s that about?” Luke points beyond Rey making her look to Luke then forward again. Kylo is gone. The Lanai are trying to patch the hole and yell to Luke about this girl. Rey looks around and sees the caretakers have begun working around the huts. You come out of the hut as well with lightsaber in hand ready to fight any attacker.

“What is going on?”

Rey blushes at the commotion she had caused. She dos not want to tell Luke or especially you that she saw Kylo Ren. So, she lies.

Rey does not want to tell Luke that she saw Kylo Ren. So, she lies.

“I was cleaning my blaster. It went off.”

Luke accepts this answer with a nod. You turn off your lightsaber and sigh.

“You need to be more careful. I will not have my son shit because you can’t properly clean a blaster,” you glare at her.

“It was an accident, Meia. Come, Rey. Let’s get started,” Luke turns to go. You watch as the girl follows Luke. You stay down and see the Lanai working. You look to the ones patching the hole.

You start back into your hut. You will need to feed Anakin soon. You hear the caretakers lament the arrival of this new girl. She is nothing like you who has never caused a disturbance since you emerged from the “meteor”.

You settle back into your hut confused as to whom Rey was speaking. But, you have more important things to focus on right now.

Rey journeys with Luke up the mountain till they reach the cave Luke typically takes you to when he wants to train. Rey looks around amazed by the inside of the cave especially the mosaic. She follows Luke out onto the ledge.

“Rey, what do you know about the force?” he finally asks her.

“It's a power that Jedi have that lets them control people and make things float,” Rey states though not entirely sure if that is what it really is.

“Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong,” he walks to the large stone on the ledge while Rey is embarrassed by her statement though she does not know how she is wrong.

“Lesson one, sit here, legs crossed,” He points to the rock with a leaf he yanked on the way up the mountain. Rey comes and obeys Master Skywalker. Once she is settled, he continues.

“The Force is not a power you have. It's not about lifting rocks. It's the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together.”

Rey nods as if she is grasping his words but her question shows she does not. “Okay. But what is it?”

Luke sighs. You already had a grasp on the force when you came here. This girl is totally untrained. He has to start from scratch.

“Close your eyes. Breathe. Now, reach out.”

He watches as she reaches out with her physical hand and not with her mind. He rolls his resists the desire to chuckle. He sticks out his long leaf and touches her fingers with it. She gasps excitedly.

“I feel something.”

“You feel it?” He plays along.

“Yes, I feel it.” She is utterly ecstatic.

“That’s the force,” he keeps on with the joke.

“Really?”

“Wow, it must be rally strong with you,” He inflates her ego,

“I’ve never felt anything-”

Luke slaps her hand with the leaf.

“OW!” She opens her eyes. Luke is not impressed. She realizes her mistake.

“You meant reach out like…” She touches her chest. His eyes give away that is what he meant. “I’ll try again.”

Luke tosses away the leaf and takes Rey’s hand. He tells her to breathe. She closes her eyes. This time she does reach out with her feelings instead of her hand.

You have finished nursing, burping and changing

Anakin as you do when you feel something. You feel something dark. It is dark and unsettling. You feel it coming from the top of the island. Is it Rey?

You tie Anakin to you. You want to know what is going on up in the mountain,

By the time you reach the cave, the dark sensation has stopped. You see look walking away from the ledge. Rey is yet and grasping onto the rock. You can hear them speaking.

“You went straight to the dark,” Luke is appalled. Rey keeps panting.

“That place was trying to shoe me something.”

“it offered you something you needed. And you didn’t even try to stop yourself,” You can hear his shock. He starts walking inside toward where you are. He stops when he sees you.

“Meia, what you doing here?” He asks. You see Rey standing up a bit straighter at the mention of your name.

“I sensed darkness. I came to see what it was. It was very strong,” you admit.

“It was Rey,” Luke comes to you. You look beyond Luke to the girl. Her cheeks are pink in shame that she used the dark side.

“I have felt this raw power only once before, Meia.”

“In who?” You ask.

“Ben Solo.”

Your eyes widen as does the listening Rey.

“It didn’t scare me enough then. It does now.” Luke confesses. You look to Rey whose face is fully dejected at hearing Luke’s words. Though you do not care much for her, you feel a need to not let her feel so at fault that honestly is so hard to control.

“Luke, I think that maybe you should go check on Chewie and the ship,” You suggest. 

“What are you going to do?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I’m just going to speak with her,” You smile. Luke is not sure if he likes that but he walks away anyway. You come toward Rey who sits down on the rock almost defeated. You hold onto Anakin as you stand before her.

“So, you teetered toward the dark side, huh?” You tilt your head to the side. She does not look up at you.

“It’s not as big a deal as Luke is making it out to be.” You make light of Luke’s fear in hope she will relax.

“It is a big deal. Using the dark side is wrong and the Jedi never should even be tempted by it!” Rey crosses her arms. You roll your eyes.

“Wow, you really know nothing about the Jedi,” you snicker.

“And you do? You said so yourself that you’re not a Jedi,” She narrows her eyes at you.

“Yeah, because I know what Jedi are and how they are. I’ve been living and training with Luke for seven months now so I should know.”

“He said he would not train anymore Jedi,” she is confused as to why Luke would be training you if he is not training Jedi and you are not a Jedi.

“I’m not a Jedi. Luke knew and still knows that. Still, he promised to train me in how to use the light side of the force. His training was meant to help know how to better protect myself and my loved ones as well as bring me some peace. I think force wielders should know how to use both sides of the force. I mean isn’t one more balanced when they can use both sides? But I digress. Don’t think that Jedi are infallible and unable to be tempted by the dark side. Luke probably won’t admit it but he very recently almost gave into the dark side. He was able to turn from it but still, he was not immune to it. So, don’t let Luke make you feel bad,” You hope this helped her some. Her forehead is wrinkled as you tell her this.

“Why should I believe you? You are a self-admitting non-Jedi, you seem to hate Luke, and you’re married to Kylo Ren! I refuse to listen to someone who is obviously biased toward the dark side,” Rey gets up and stomps away.

This is what I get for trying to comfort that brat. You think to yourself.

“Come on, Anakin, it looks like it is going rain again,” you look the clouds coming. You go into the cave to sit and play with your son.

Luke exits the Millennium Falcon having reunited with R2D2 and talked with Chewie. He sees Rey approaching. She tries to greet him.

Luke stays silent as he looks at her. Maybe she will be different from Ben. He is not sure.

“Master Skywalker, I’m sorry I struggled to resist. I-”

Luke holds up his hand to stop her from talking.

“Once this little rain passes, I’ll find you,” Luke states showing he will still train her. She smiles and nods.

Rey goes inside the ship to where she stored the poncho you gave her. She puts it on before going to check on the damaged parts of the ship. She is surprised that Chewie has made great progress. In fact, they may be able to leave soon, maybe even by tomorrow morning. Rey fixes herself a portion to eat then goes to see Chewie in the cockpit. She sees him trying to use their communications. They do not seem to be working. She comes to Chewie’s side.

“Still can't reach the Resistance?”

Chewie groans negatively.

“Keep at it. If you get through, check their status,” She pats the chair and start to turn then adds, “And ask about Finn.”

Chewie affirms that he will then wails about the invasion of porgs in the ship. Rey kind of chuckles then goes outside. It has begun to rain. She smiles at it. She loves that she is somewhere with so much water. She puts her hand out to catch some falling from the Millennium Falcon. She loses her smile when she feels _his_ presence again.

Rey turns and she sees him. Hate bubbles inside her. Kylo does not hate the girl. He is just annoyed and rather confused as to why she is the one he is connecting to now.

“Why is the force connecting us? You and I?”

“Murderous snake!” She grits her teeth then gains a proud smirk, “You’re too late. You lost. I found Skywalker.”

She obviously still holds Luke in high regard. He wonders if she would if she knew the truth about Luke and what Luke did to him.

“Did he tell you what happened? The night I destroyed his temple, did he tell you why?” Kylo asks calmly. He sees in her eyes that he has not.

“I know everything I need to know about you!” She covers her ignorance with confidence. He comes closer.

“You do?” he stares at her. He senses her fear and anger toward him. It is clear she only known him as a sign of the dark side. He is the one thing that she fears now.

“Ah, you do. You have that look in your eyes. rom the forest. When you called me a monster,” He takes pride in knowing that though she beat him in combat when he was in a weakened state, she is still afraid of him.

“You are a monster,” She repeats it at him. He keeps a smirk. He will keep her afraid of him. Then he has power over her.

“Yes, I am.”

They stare at each other briefly before they disappear from each other’s view. Rey sighs. She sits under the Millennium Falcon and watches the rain. She hopes she will not have anymore of these instances with Kylo Ren. 

In time, Rey sees the rain is beginning to lessen and the sky is starting to clear. She begins to go up back to the cave. She stops though as Luke said he would come for her. She takes off her poncho so she and it can dry off in the returned sunshine. She picks up her staff and begins to practice her fighting moves on a stone. She pretends it to be Kylo Ren.

Her moves are controlled and rather precise. But she knows in a real fight she cannot use her staff against his lightsaber. She looks to her bag that she laid down. She sees the lightsaber inside it. She pulls it out. She begins to practice again. It is a much more powerful weapon and it feels right in her hands. She swings the blade several times till she has it go through the rock. She backs up afraid as it falls off the cliff. She looks over the edge to see where is goes. She grimaces seeing it hits the cart of some of the caretakers. She senses their dislike for her has grown even more now.

Rey turns and sees her Master Skywalker. He turns and starts walking. She knows she is to follow him. Once in the cave, Luke and Rey see you asleep with Anakin. You lay against the wall while Anakin sleeps against your chest. Even in your sleep your hold on him is secure. Luke purposefully keeps his voice low and soft as to not wake you.

“Lesson Two. Now that they're extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, defied. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris,” Luke sits at the mosaic.

“That’s not true,” Rey’s voice is raised but she lowers it and approaches Luke.

“At the height of their powers, they allowed Darth Sidious to rise, create the Empire, and wipe them out. It was a Jedi Master who was responsible for the training and creation of Darth Vader,” Luke intends to teach her history.

“And a Jedi who saved him. Yes, the most hated man in the galaxy. But you saw that there was conflict inside him. You believed that he wasn't gone. That he could be turned,” Rey tries to remind him of the positive things.

“And I became a legend. For many years, there was balance.... and then I saw Ben. My nephew with that mighty Skywalker blood. And in my hubris, I thought I could train him, I could pass on my strengths. Han was… Han about it, but Leia… trusted me with her son. I took him, and a dozen students, and began a training temple. By the time I realized I was no match for the darkness rising in him, it was too late,” Luke stands and walks from Rey as he recalls the past.

“What happened?” Rey asks.

Luke knows he could give his biased side of the story. He looks to you though. He knows if he leaves out any of the truth, you would not forgive me.

“I went to his room in the night. I saw darkness. I'd sensed it building in him. I'd see it at moments during his training. But then I looked inside... and it was beyond what I ever imagined. Snoke had already turned his heart. He would bring destruction, and pain, and death... and the end of everything I love because of what he will become. And for the briefest moment of pure instinct... I thought I could stop it. I took out my lightsaber to kill him. It passed like a fleeting shadow. And I was left with shame... and with consequence. And the last thing I saw... were the eyes of a frightened boy whose master had failed him. He caused the room to cover me. He thought I was dead. He destroyed the temple and slaughtered the other students. Leia blamed Snoke, but it was me. It was my fault. I failed him. I believed him to be something he was not yet. I believed myself to be superior because I was Luke Skywalker, the Jedi master, the legend,” Luke confesses the great wrong has done.

Rey cannot believe the truth. Luke is why Ben Solo became Kylo Ren? It is unbelievable. She would have never expected Luke Skywalker to be so tempted by the dark side and to almost kill his own family. Maybe you were right when you said everyone struggles with the dark side. But Luke resisted. He made the right choice to not kill his nephew. It was up to his nephew to resist going to the darkness. He could have chosen to stop Luke. He could have chosen not to destroy the temple and kill the others.

“You may have failed him but it was still his choice to do what he did. It was his choice to go to the dark side, to kill the other students and destroy the temple. It was his choice to do all of that. He could have still chosen the light. But he did not. Do not blame yourself for him choosing to still do wrong despite knowing what is right. Because of that Kylo is the one who failed you. I will not fail you,” Rey reaches out and touches Luke’s arm. It is rather refreshing to hear someone who is willing to be on his side in this situation since you definitely have not been. But Luke cannot blame you for your bias as you love Ben.

You begin to stir. You open your eyes and see Luke and Rey watch you and Anakin. You wipe the sleepers from your eyes then look down to Anakin who is snuggled against you.

“How long have I been asleep?” You ask.

“You were asleep when we got in here,” Luke comes to you and puts his hand out to you to help you up. You are careful not to disturb Anakin as you get up. You glance at Rey then back to Luke.

“I see you have forgiven her little dip into the dark side,” You comment.

“It happens to all of us,” Luke says what you told him before.

“Uh huh,” You nod. Your eyes wander to Rey again.

“Do you know how much more work needs to be done on the Millennium Falcon before we can leave?” You ask her.

“Not much is left. We may be able to leave in the morning,” She answers.

“Excellent!” You beam.

A distant sound of drums draws everyone’s attention You all look out the cave’s opening to the sky and finds the suns have started setting. Rey jumps up and runs to the ledge. She looks down to the coast and sees lit torches that are approaching the village.

“Who is that?” Rey points out. Luke comes to her side. He sees an opportunity to teach his third lesson.

“It’s a tribe from the neighboring island. They come once a month to plunder and raid the caretakers’ village.”

“Come, we must go stop them!” Rey is aghast. Though she knows the caretakers do not like her, she will not let them be hurt. You press your lips together as you do not know why Luke has lied to her.

“Do you know what a true Jedi knight would do?” Luke’s question makes Rey stop. She and you are curious about his answer.

“Nothing.”

“This is not a lesson. They are going to get hurt if we do not help!” Rey comes back at Luke,

“If you meet that raiding party with the force, they will be back next month with bigger numbers and greater violence. Will you be here next month?” He comes closer to her.

Rey keeps looking to the fire approaching the village.

“That burn inside you, that anger thinking what the raiders will do…the books in the Jedi library say ignore that. Only act when you can maintain balance. Even if people get hurt,” Luke delivers the truth of the texts to Rey. You know it is what the books say part of the time. You see Rey look at Luke in disbelief then start to run. She looks at you.

“Will you help me help them?” She surprises you with the ask. You look to Luke who nods his head only because Rey is not looking.

“Luke, hold Anakin,” you hand off your child. Rey smiles at you for the first time sincerely.

You two start running. Rey starts down the side of the mountain instead of going down the path. You shake your head but follow her. You keep a small distance behind her. She runs at full speed with the force propelling her toward the village.

Getting closer, she grabs her lightsaber and turns it on. You do not. Reaching the village, you see she slashes through the fish bones that make a wall. She yells and has raised her weapon in preparation to strike the enemies of the village. She stops.

You come to the opening and see as does Rey that the caretakers are dancing and celebrating with males of their species. The Lanai stop and look at Rey. They want her to join them and shake their noise making ropes at them. Rey shakes her lightsaber earning cheers from the caretakers. The Lanai return to their partying. Rey turns off her lightsaber a little frustration. She looks and sees even R2D2 is partying with the Lanai.

Rey walks away from the party to the coast embarrassed that she essentially crashed this party thinking that they were being attacked. You go after Rey. You cannot help chuckling.

“You knew they weren’t in danger, didn’t you?” She crosses her arms. You nod.

“Yes.”

“So, was this a joke between you and Master Skywalker to play on me?” She is angry.

“I didn’t intend to play a joke on you, Rey. I wanted to see what Luke was up to too,” You admit.

“I thought they were in real danger and you made me believe too by coming with me! Why would you come with me if you knew the truth?”

You stop and consider her words. You came because Luke said too but you also came because she truly looked to need help. You wanted to help though you knew the situation was not as bad as he thought. You knew things were not as bad they seemed but you wanted to help even if it was in a morale way. You wanted to help even though you two are not exactly friends.

“Hmm,” you pause considering this and a deeper meaning.

“What?” Rey is still cross.

“I think Luke is trying to teach me a lesson right now,” You tell her.

“And what lesson is that?”

“Even though you and I do not get along at all and I know that what you feared is not what you really think it is, I wanted to help you. I suppose even with you hating my husband and wanting to end him for the sake of the Resistance, I want to help you and the Resistance. But I know that Ben is not what you think he is just like this ‘raiding’ party. Maybe if we do work together, we can save the Resistance and you can see the truth of Ben and that he is to be spared like these ‘raiders’,” You share what you think you have realized.

“You want to help me and the Resistance?” Rey calms down.

“Yes. I have wanted to help the Resistance for a long time but I also want to help my husband turn from the dark side and come back to the light without dying,” you are open with her.

“But you are not a Jedi. How could you help turn him?” Rey does not understand.

“Do you think it was the ways of the Jedi that helped Luke turn Vader? Do you think it was hours of practicing control, learning to fight with a lightsaber and resisting the dark side that made Vader change?”

Rey purses her lips not sure of where you are going with this.

“It was love. Love is what made Vader turn back to the light. It was love that made Luke forgive his father, see the light within Vader, and helped Luke reach his father. Unlike the force, love does not have sides and it is not something that is wielded by a mighty few. Love is for all and it is as powerful if not more powerful than the force. Love is what made me realize there was more to life than just doing my job. Love is what made Chewie and Han lifelong friends. Love is why Leia does her best to protect the galaxy from tyranny. Love is why I assume you want Luke to help save your friends and why you were willing to fight to protect these innocent people. I will use love to turn Kylo Ren back to being Ben Solo,” You voice the epiphany you are having. 

Rey does not move or speak. She soaks in your words like a sponge.

“She is right,” Luke makes the two of you jump with his sudden appearance with the awake Anakin. You take your son from Luke and kiss the boy’s head.

“Love is what the galaxy needs, not the Jedi,” Luke puts his hand on your shoulder.

“But how can we stop cannons and blasters with love? How can we defeat the First Order with love? You may be able to turn Kylo Ren with love but that is one person. We are facing an entire army with weapons. An emotion cannot save us all,” Rey points out the problem with these thoughts.

“True. But it is love that will drive you to fight harder and to protect those you love. It will be why you will know when to show compassion and mercy when you are victorious in a fight. Focus on saving what you love, not on destroying what you hate,” Luke explains further. Rey takes in these words as well. 

“I’m going to go party with the caretakers. It is my last night here after all,” Luke excuses himself to join the Lanai, leaving you and Anakin with Rey.

“You really think we can beat the First Order if you go back to Kylo Ren?” Rey questions you.

“Yes.”

Rey holds a hard but still confused expression.

“I don’t see how…how you can love someone like him,” Rey can only think on her own past with Kylo Ren.

“I was allowed to see the sides of him that he tries hardest to hide away from everyone. I have seen his true self and something inside me, something I think was always inside of me sleeping, awoke. It did not make much sense but once this thing woke in me, I could not knock it out no matter how much I tried. Believe me I tried. I know this must not make much sense to you,” You look down. 

“It does. Something in me awoke recently too. It was not love but the force. I cannot explain how it happened or why but it did. I feel I must embrace it. Is that how you feel with your love toward Kylo?” Rey tries to relate these things.

“Yes,” You nod and smile seeing you two are connecting. Rey starts to smile too as she has some grasp on understanding you now.

“I know we didn’t exactly have a great beginning together but I hope we will be able to be friends from here on out.” You offer a verbal olive branch.

“Me too.”

“Will you walk with me to take Anakin to my hut?” You ask.

“Um…okay,” She agrees. The two of you start walking. It is quiet and rather awkward. You two are not exactly sure of what to say or do.

“So, how did you get involved with the Resistance?” You ask Rey.

“Oh, well, I was on Jakku, my home, and I saved a BB-unit from begin junked. Turns out BB-8 had the last piece of the map to find Skywalker in it,” Rey begins her story.

“Wait, BB-8? Was your BB-8 white and orange?” You ask remembering the droid attached to Poe.

“Yes. Have you met BB-8 too?” she stops as do you.

“Yes. I met him when I was escaping Canto Bight with a Resistance pilot,” You cannot believe you two know the same droid.

“Was the Resistance pilot Poe Dameron?” Rey brings up the very pilot you know.

“Yes! Poe! You know Poe?” You cannot stop grinning. She cannot either.

“Yes! I do!”

“How do you know him?” You ask.

“Well, I met him after Finn and I destroyed Starkiller base,” You answer.

“Finn?”

“Oh, yes. Finn is he is my best friend. He is another reason I’m in the Resistance. After I found BB-8, I was found by Finn. He told me he was a member of the Resistance and was trying to protect me and BB-8 from being caught by the First Order. I found out later after we got off Jakku and met Han that Finn was actually a trooper in the First Order who ran away,” Rey shares part of her adventure.

“He was a trooper? Do you know what is number was?” You have to know who it is that ran away.

“Um…FN-2187,” She remembers.

“FN-2187,” Your smile only widens.

“Do you know him?”

“Yes, we were best friends back on Starkiller Base. We grew up together.

“What?”

“I was a stormtrooper in the First Order. I was called FN-1971.”

“How are you a stormtrooper but have the force and married to Kylo and have a name?” Rey is lost.

“It’s a long story. How about you tell me your story then I will tell you mine,” you suggest.

“Okay,” Rey begins to share her story. You listen intently and walk at the same time. It is great to hear of FN-2187-no-Finn. You love the parts about Han. You are even surprised that she too met Maz. But you always knew she would since you saw her in a vision when you touched the senior Anakin’s lightsaber. You do dislike the way she talks of Kylo but you hold your tongue. You are upset when you learn that Finn is hurt but you will hope for his recovery.

“And so, Leia sent Chewie and I to come get Luke. I have this beacon so I will be able to find her wherever she is,” She show you a lit bracelet she had in her pocket.

“Wow,” you two reach your hut, “So once the Resistance wins, what is it you want to do?”

“Um…well, I would like to become a Jedi, I would also like to find my parents,” Rey confides in you.

“Your parents? Do you not know who they are?” You ask opening you hut door and gesturing for her to come inside.

“They left me on Jakku when I was a child. To me they were just Mom and Dad. I don’t remember names. I do remember that they loved me and I waited as long as I could for them to come back to me. I want to find them and if they are dead then I just want to know about them,” Rey’s eyes become misty. You feel for her.

“I totally understand how you feel. I was given up as an infant. I never got to know my parents. I grew up in the First Order. That is why it is so important to me that my children know me and Ben. I want them to know their parents and grow up being loved by both of them,” You stroke Anankin’s head.

“You say children. You have more than one with Kylo Ren?” Rey asks.

“Yes. I had twins. Snoke stole one and tried to kill me and Anakin. We escaped. But he still has Hanamé somewhere…” Your hold on Anakin becomes a little tighter, “I have to find her. She will grow up knowing her parents and their love for her as will Anakin.”

Rey reaches over to touch your shoulder to give you reassurance. The moment her hand meets your shoulder, you are no longer on the island. You are in a tented room where there is a woman and a man with a young girl. The girl lays in a bed as the adults stand over her. You can see by the three buns on the back of her head being squished against a pillow that this girl is a young Rey. You look at the man.

Him! He is the one who has Hanamé! You recognize the red haired, blue eyed man. But this man cannot be the same one as he does not look like he has aged and you know Rey has aged many years. Could this be a relative of him?

“Keev, are you ready?” The older woman asks. You see her very clearly. She is a taller woman with skin tanned by the sun. Her hair is a dark brown and her eyes are hazel like Rey’s. She is dressed in a dirty blue dress that covers most of her body. She is so familiar to you and not just because she looks like Rey.

But hearing her call the man ‘Keev’ instead of ‘Hego’ kind of confirms this is a different man despite him looking the exact same as the one who has Hanamé.

“Yes, Anandra,” he nods with a smile. They go to either side of the rather poorly made bed and sit on it so they can both look at Rey. They open their mouths and a song comes out. You listen to their rather pleasant voices as they sing to Rey. It is apparent from the lyrics and their gaze at the young girl that they love. They love her as you love Anakin.

“You’ll be in my heart. Always… Always,” They finish the song together then kiss her forehead. Rey’s eyes are closed and the parents get up from the bed. The rather dark tent room disappears and it replaced with bright burning sunlight. You see Rey being handed over to a hideous Crolute. She cries out for her parents who are walking to a ship. The mother, Anandra, looks back at Rey with tears in her eyes. She turns and goes with Keev onto the ship and they fly away.

Rey finds herself in a lavish room with tapestries with the most perverse images on them. She does her best to look away from them. She sees a woman on the bed. Her hair is long and dark. She is looking down at an infant. Her hair falls in her face which obscures Rey’s view of the woman’s face. Rey comes to the bed and looks at the baby.

“Anandra!” A man bursts into the room. Rey can smell the alcohol on his clothes but not on his breath when he comes near. Rey is astonished at how much the man and baby look alike.

This Anandra woman finally lifts her head showing her face. Rey knows this woman. It is the face she has long forgotten but has also long wanted. It is younger than she remembers.

The man is not the one Rey wants though. This man looks nothing like her. This man looks more like…you.

“Zedis,” Anandra smiles at him in a melancholic way. He does not smile.

“Don’t do this, Anandra. We can leave Madame Prox’s. We can run away to Yavin 4, Gorax, Tatooine, Nevarro…anywhere. We can leave right now,” This Zedis pleads with her.

“I can’t. All my money is paying for Santigo’s medical treatments. All your money is owed to the Lontz brothers. If we left, they would hunt us down. They’d kill you, me and the baby. We can’t run,” Anandra gains tears in her eyes.

“I’ll protect you and the baby. I’ll kill anyone who would come after us. We can take your brother with us as well and find him a doctor who doesn’t charge an arm and a leg,” Zedis is desperate.

“No. I’m sorry, Zedis. But I’m giving her to Commandant Hux. He will give the money I need for Santigo’s bills and he has promised that she will never have to be in a situation like mine. That is all can hope for her,” Anandra picks up the baby.

“No. She is my child too. I don’t want you give her to that old Imperial officer who will take her a way to who knows where to do who knows what. I mean the man is constant visitor to you. You think he won’t raise her to become his own personal pleasure slave?” Zedis brings up the valid possibility.

“He won’t do that. He told me what she will become a soldier. I’d rather her become that than a whore like me,” Anandra’s tear sneaks out of her eye.

“Anandra, you are selling our child to be a slave to the fallen empire. Is that really better than a life on the run?” Zedis asks.

“I have already made the decision, Zedis,” Anandra stands up. She looks beyond the baby’s father. She and Rey see a stout red haired Imperial officer. Anandra starts toward him but Zedis blocks her.

“Don’t do this,” Zedis grabs her arms.

“Get out of my way, Zedis,” She pulls out of his hold. He steps aside. Anandra hands the baby to the Commandant. He looks at the child.

“Here. Thank you for the child,” he hands Anandra a bag of credits. He walks away.

You and Rey take deep breathes as you two come out of the visions of the past. She removes her hand from you. You stare at each other. You know you have seen her past. She knows she has seen yours.

“Did you just-” You both start at the same time then stop as you both know you two did.

“What did you see?” Rey asks.

“I saw your parents…Anandra and Keev,” you give her their names.

“Anandra?” Rey repeats the name,

“Yes. That was her name.”

Rey’s lip corners twitch.

“What did you see?” You ask.

“Your parents…Zedis and…Anandra,” Rey shares the names as well.

“ _My_ parents? My mother’s name was Anandra too?” You are confused.

“Your mother…I knew her face. She is my mother too,” Rey tells you’re her realization.

“What? But-but we don’t look alike and my mother was a prostitute,” You cannot be certain of this.

“We have different fathers and like you said your mother sold you to a Commandant Hux. Your father did not want her to but the money was needed. How our mother went from a brothel to Jakku with another man…I don’t know,” Rey tries to figure it out. You are surprised by the name ‘Hux’ but then you again you do remember in your younger days a Commandant Hux that oversaw many trainees. He was not a kind man. General Hux definitely took after his father.

“So, we are…sisters?” You look her over again and again.

“Yes. Half sisters but sisters none the less,” Rey smiles. How can she not be happy when she has found a member of her family?

You try to process this. This girl is your sister? You have a sister. You always thought you were alone in the galaxy and unwanted. But now you know you have a sister and you were sold but not unwanted. It is a lot to take in but you are glad to take it in. Now, you are glad you did not beat up this girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was pretty long chapter but I hope you guys liked it!


	124. Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments and over 1500 kudos! Wow! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 124

Having come to happy terms that Rey is your sister, you are asked to share your story with her. You want to but you are nervous. You do not want her to know the truth of your beginnings with Ben. She may think him a sexual predator or something. You know you will have to heavily edit the story.

“I grew up in the First Order to be a stormtrooper. I did very well and became best friends with F-Finn. I would smuggle Kade Genti Comics into base for us to read. I got caught by Kylo Ren. Instead of making me go back to reconditioning- a terrible experience I might add- he decided to retrain me himself. We quickly began a relationship and after it was discovered that I had force sensitivity, Supreme Leader Snoke allowed me to become Kylo’s apprentice. Kylo did his best to teach me the ways of the Sith but it is not all for me. But like I said earlier, once I developed feelings for Kylo I could not suppress them. I was open with him about my feelings and he rejected me. I ran away with my other best friend Jyn. We pretended to be sisters….To keep a very long story short, I met Han, Chewie, Poe, BB-8, and Maz. The whole time Kylo started looking for me and even sent the Knights of Ren after me. I also found I was pregnant with twins. I turned myself into the knights so I could make a deal with Kylo to save my friend from having to go back to the First Order. To seal the deal, Kylo and I got married,” You keep it brief.

“So, you married him for the sake of your friend?”

“Yes, and because we loved each other. He admitted it before we got married. And after we were married, we only fell more in love. I did my best to keep in contact with Han as he knew about the pregnancy and wanted to be a grandfather. I was doing my best to pull Ben out of Kylo, to bring him to the light. I met Leia at one point and told her this as well but we had to wait till the babies were born before I could make my big push to switch sides. However, I went into labor while Ben was gone. Snoke took my daughter, tried to kill Anakin and me, and I guess he told everyone that my children and I died. Obviously, that’s not true.”

“Yes. I can see that very clearly.”

Anakin starts grabbing at your breast and smacking his lips. You know what this means.

“Anakin needs to be fed,” You tell her before you go to take out your breast.

“Okay,” She does not see why you are telling her and not feeding him. You pull out your breast for him. You see she blushes. Now she knows why you were warning her. She looks away till Anakin’s head covers your nipple. You chuckle at her uncomfortableness.

“I will leave you two to it. I’ll see you in the morning to go find the Resistance,” Rey gets up ready to get out.

“I’ll see you then…Sister,” you call her making her smile. Rey leaves. It is funny. She came to Ach-To to find the last jedi and she ended up finding him and a sister. She cannot help feeling happy and excited for this upcoming journey.

As Rey is going back to the Millennium Falcon to check on the progress there, she feels his presence. She frowns as she feels her emotional high begin to fall.

“I’d rather not do this right now,” Rey gives her preference in a groan.

“Yeah, me too,” She hears Kylo then looks to him with her own question.

“Why did you hate your fa-” Rey cannot finish as her eyes land on Kylo shirtless. She turns absolutely red as she sees him turning to look at her. She turns here eyes away.

Kylo does not care for this woman to see his naked chest covered in the healing wounds that she gave him. But he cannot control when the force connects and apparently with whom it connects. Now he cannot even get ready for a shower in peace. This just goes to show that peace is a lie just as the Sith say.

Rey cannot stand to look at the half naked man especially now that she knows this is her sister’s husband. Rey is a strong believer in not being nude before someone who is not your partner. She was even uncomfortable with you pulling your breast out to feed despite having breasts herself and knowing it is to feed a baby.

“Do you have a cowl or something you could put on?” Rey tries to keep her eyes off him. Kylo can clearly see she is uncomfortable. He can use this to his advantage. Rey sighs seeing he will not cover up.

“Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer,” She wants to know. How can this person that is so clearly loved by her new found sister and her dear Han kill Han like it was nothing? How could he kill his father when she would never do that? She would have never killed the things she wanted most like that.

“You had a father who loved you!”

He walks toward her.

“I didn’t hate him,” Kylo answer honestly. He did not hate Han. He loved him.

“Then why?” Rey cannot understand.

“Why what?”

Rey just glares at him. She cannot see why the other love this man.

“Why what? Say it,” He wants her to finish her query.

“Why did you kill him? I don’t understand,” Rey feels her tears going down her face. She cannot get over the heartbreak of losing Han yet.

“No? Your parents threw you away like garbage,” He antagonizes her purposefully. He wants her to feel like nothing.

“They didn’t!” She rejects the theory. She knows they loved her. Even you saw that they loved her and told her this.

“They did but you can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness,” He calls her out on her fault, “You’re looking for them everywhere, in Han Solo, now in Skywalker.”

Rey had not thought about how she was beginning to view Luke as a parent but that is another issue for her to deal with later. But she does not need to look to Luke as her family now. She has a family. She has a sister. She has a sister, a nephew and somewhere she has a niece. She still wants her parents but…the want and need are less now. She is not as desperate as she has you.

“Did he tell you about what happened that night?” Kylo asks curious to know if Luke told the truth.

“Yes,” her answer comes out soft. Kylo is surprised. He thought for sure she would respond with hatefully thinking he was a mass murderer for no reason as Luke could have made it seem. Btu her answer is sad but still a bit angered.

“What did he tell you?” Kylo is curious.

“He told me how he made a mistake in a moment of lapsed judgement. You thought he was trying to kill you so you attacked him, destroyed the temple and killed the others. He blames himself for failing you. He did fail you but it was still your choice to do what you did afterward,” She is clear on the last part. Kylo is taken aback. Luke told the truth? He presses his lips together. He is the one uncomfortable.

“I was forced into the choices because of him,” Kylo claims to defend himself.

“You still could have chosen the light, to do what was right. You could have forgiven Master Skywalker,” Rey scolds him. Kylo clenches his teeth at her admonishment. How dare this little girl reprimand him!

“You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never had a family so you wouldn’t understand what it is like to trust them fully only for them to betray you.” Kylo points out one of the many differences between them.

“I may not remember them well but my parents betrayed me and sold me to Unkar Plutt. I do understand what it is to be betrayed. But I did not turn to the dark side and hurt others,” Rey argues. Kylo turns his eyes in frustration.

“Our situations are different.”

“They are,” Rey agrees.

They stand in silence not sure of what to say or do. They just want to stop talking and go to the ship. Kylo wants to end this connection as well so he may shower. The connection does not end and they are forced to look at each other. Rey still does not see what you see in him. Yes, he is attractive. She has to admit that but otherwise…

“I just don’t see it,” Rey mumbles.

“See what?” Kylo hears her.

“See why she is so in love with you,” Rey answers.

  
“Who?” Kylo is lost as to whom Rey could be referring.

“Meia.”

Meia? Kylo know that is your alias. How could this nobody from nowhere know you and that you loved him? There is no way that this could be as you two have never met!

“Who told you of this Meia?” He tries to act aloof.

“She did. I met her. She’s here on this planet with me,” Rey blurts the bites her tongue. Was she supposed to tell him? It’s too late now.

Kylo is stone. You are there? You are on the planet with Luke and Rey? You are alive? No. That’s impossible. Snoke said you did. This girl must be lying.

“Is that so? What does she look like?” he poses the challenge. Rey proceeds to describe you exactly including your ignited lightsaber. As she does Kylo’s heart quickens. Rey sees in his eyes that he knows she is describing the right person.

Is she really telling the truth? Are you really alive?

“But…she’s dead,” Kylo’s words are barely above a whisper.

“No, she’s alive.”

“You’re lying,” There is no way you could be alive. He would have known right? You would have tried to come to him or contact him.

“Why would I lie about this?”

“You want to trick me into not trusting Snoke so the First Order will fall in on itself.” He thinks Rey craftier than she is.

She scoffs.

“I tell you that your wife is alive and you want to figure out a way to deny it. I think you like that she is dead. You were glad when Snoke told you she was dead, weren’t you?” Rey dares to question his love for you. She sees his pale skin turn red in his anger.

“You know nothing!” He snaps at her.

“I know you are allowing yourself to be blind to the truth!’ Rey retorts heatedly.

Kylo shakes his head refusing to believe her. It just cannot be true. Snoek would not have lied about you dying. Snoke would not do that to him. This must be some twisted ploy cooked up by the Resistance and Luke. Kylo opens his mouth to speak to her again but she is gone.

Kylo thinks on what Rey has said but he struggles to believe her. She has to be lying. But a part of him hopes she is not. That part hopes she is telling the truth and you are alive. If you are alive then maybe…maybe he could…he could connect to you.

Kylo pulls on his shirt. He no longer cares if he showers. He goes to his meditation room. He sits with eyes closed. He takes deep breaths. He must use the force to reach you. He must reach you.

You set Anakin in his crib to sleep. You take a seat on your bed. You are excited to finally leave. Just a few more hours and a little sleep then you will be able to leave Ach-To and begin your way to Ben.

You undo your hair and let it fall around you naturally. You want to relax yourself as much as possible because you know you will be having a mix of excitement and stress in the next several days if not more. You wish you could stop at the spa on Canto bight before going to Ben. You want to smell like Tarisian rose not wet grass, fish and baby vomit. You want to be rid of the sunspots on your skin and the stretch marks from your pregnancy. You want to wear something not meant for a pregnant woman or sewn together from different tiny dresses. You want to look and be perfect of Ben. But you cannot stop at the spa on Canto Bight. You have to go to him as is.

You sigh to yourself and close your eyes for a moment. You wish with all of your heart to speak to him and see him again.

You hear your name. You whip your head to the side and tremble. Your breaths are shaky and your eyes overflow with sudden tears. 

“Ben…”

With big wet eyes and pouty lips pressed together that keep his breath trapped, Ben sits across the room from you. His hair is not exactly brushed and eyes have dark circles. It is remnant of how he looked when he and you reunited the first time after weeks apart during your pregnancy. But this time he looks objectively worse. He has a scar now. It stars int eh middle of his forehead then crosses over his eyebrow to his cheek then down his neck. The rest of it is covered by his clothes. You shed more tears at the sight. Rey did so much to his beautiful face. He is no less handsome to you though.

Your name comes from his mouth along with the air he had been holding inside.

“Ben, you can see me?” You hope he answers affirmatively.

“Yes. You…you’re alive?” He is still not sure.

“Yes. Yes, Ben. I’m alive. I’m alive.”

His own tear comes down his scarred cheek. You are alive and therefore you are perfect. He sees only you and not your surroundings but that is almost how he always views you. Breathing is at the same time the easiest it has ever been as well as the hardest. He does not just want you; he needs you. He needs to feel you, to hold you, to inhale you, to know you are tangible and his once more. He gets down from his seat and comes to you on his knees. He reaches out his hand to you. You want him to touch you. You need him to touch you

Please, touch me. Hold me. You think.

You both feel each other’s presence suddenly beginning to slip. He will not reach you in time to touch you. You both watch in horror as your bodies start to fade away.

“I’m coming to you, Ben. Wait for me!” You yell to him. He is gone. You are gone. The brief connection is over. It is over but you know now there is no time to waste. You must reach him. You must leave now!

You get your bag and Anakin. You head out of your hut and go straight toward where the Millennium Falcon should be. You see Rey and Chewie grinning outside of it.

“Meia? What are you doing here?” Rey asks.

“Is the ship ready?”

“Actually, Chewie just finished. We will be perfect to go in the morning,” Rey pats the ship.

“No. We must go now. We must go now,” You insist.

“But-”

“Please, Rey. I have to go Ben now,” You grab her arm. She senses your overwhelming need to go.

“Chewie, find Luke and R2D2,” Rey sends Chewie on his task. Rey escorts you and Anakin into the ship. You cannot take in the classic ship. Your mind is too focused on going to Ben. You have to reach him before Snoke tricks him again, before he does something rash that leads to his death, before something happens that will keep you two apart even longer or lead to Ben’s death.

You do not know how much time passes before Luke, Chewie and R2D2 come back on the ship. Luke sits next to you and Anakin.

“What is wrong? Why are we leaving now?” Luke questions.

“I saw him, Luke. I saw and spoke to Ben. He knows I’m alive. I have to go to him now. I have to reach him before Snoke or his own anger does.”

Luke understands. He puts his arm around you as he senses your distress in you.

“Remember to not fall to fear, my child.”

“But I am afraid. I don’t want Ben to lash out and be killed by Snoke,” You are shaking. Luke takes a deep breath.

“You must let go. You must let go and trust the force. There is no death, there is the force,” Luke mentions the last sentence of the Jedi code. You know it is apart of it as he often told you the words in training.

“As long as you are afraid of Ben’s death, you will be trapped in fear. You must let go of him. You must accept that loss is a part of life. But if one dies that does not mean that they are gone. The ones we love always stay with us just as the force does,” Luke gives his words of comfort. You know he is right but it is so hard.

Kylo sits on the floor of his meditation room. You are alive. You _are_ alive and have been alive this entire time! Snoke lied to him. Snoke lied.

Rage flows in Kylo’s veins with his blood.

Snoke lied to him. Snoke let him feel like a shell of being all this time while filling his head with promises of power over life and death. These promises must be lies as well. Snoke has been stringing him along like a fucking sap! He never intended to teach him the secrets of life and death. He was going to do so much only to get nothing. He fought tooth and nail for the First Order because he believed Snoke. He killed his own father because he believed Snoke.

He killed his own father…he thought…he thought he would be able to bring Han back after death. It was a lie. He killed his father and there is no way he will ever be able to bring him back…

Sadness enters Kylo’s bloodstream but it is soon overridden by rage. He is going to kill his enemy. He is going to go now and-

Kylo stops. He cannot go now against Snoke. He is not prepared. He would surely be killed by Snoke or by the guards. Also, you said you were coming to him. He wants to at least hold you once before he goes to take revenge on the one who has in truth been nothing but a manipulative oppressor. He must wait. He must be patient. He must conceal his thoughts and intentions. He must meditate and seal himself up till the time is right.


	125. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you guys so much for the comments and kudos! This is the chapter you all have been waiting for! Please, Enjoy!

# Chapter 125

Following the tracking beacon Leia gave Rey, the Millennium Falcon zips through lightspeed to find their friends. It is good thing that the riders of the Millennium Falcon know not of what is occurring on the last Resistance cruiser. Leia’s unconscious state, a mutiny led by Poe, and Finn’s absence with a mechanic to find a codebreaker would all send the approaching person into a frenzy over the chaos. They have enough to worry about or at least you do.

You changed into some extra clothes that happened to be on the ship. You guess at some point of the owners had a woman who stayed on the ship. You find and put on white kimono dress that stops at your knees. A gold clasp in the middle keeps the tied strings together and covered. You found a pair of ankle high black gladiator sandals. You let most of your hair stay down but you part of it back and up into a bun.

You come back to take your pride and joy from Luke who held the sleeper. You can feel that the ship is coming closer to Ben. You can feel him even from this distance. You also feel a heavy darkness pressing against you. It is a darkness you have felt before when in the presence of Snoke. You know he is there as well. He feels like death. You know that going to them may lead to your death. But you must try to help Ben and the Resistance. You have to do what Luke said and let go and trust the Force. It is hard but you must do it.

“Luke,” you address your mentor.

“Yes?”

“I might die,” You tell him. He says nothing as this is true and he knows it. He does not know what to say. He sees your eyes are not full of fear though. They hold acceptance.

“I will not take Anakin with me as it is too dangerous for him. So as his granduncle I charge you with the duty to give him to Leia to raise if I should die,” You hand the still soundly asleep Anakin over to Luke. The babe could sleep through almost anything.

“If she is unable to care for him then you or Rey should care for him,” You decide.

“Rey?” Luke’s eyebrows furrow.

“She is my half-sister,” You tell Luke.

“How do you know?”

“The force informed us,” You answer.

“It makes sense then that you two share such a similar force signature then,” Luke mentions this for the first time to you.

“We do?” You are surprised.

“Yes. But the difference is significant,” Luke further goes on.

“As to be expected as we only share the same mother. But even though I do not know her well, I think she needs a family and if I am then that is it. So, I want her to be in Anakin’s life,” You make it clear. Luke nods.

“I wish I knew where Hanamé is but she is still lost to me. Could you promise me to look for her?” You look to Luke for a vow. He nods. You smile more.

“Good. Then make sure she and Anakin get one of each of my kyber crystals,” you take of the necklace you have not taken off since Ben gave it to you. You put it into Luke’s open robotic hand. He accepts this charge as well.

“And give them each one of these bracelets. Tell them they are from their grandfather who loved them even when they were just specks of stardust,” You take of the wrist accessories you never took off. Luke accepts the jewelry and the words.

You look to Anakin and dread the possibility that you may never see him or Hanamé grow up. They may never know anything of her or their father except what is told to them.

“And Luke-” You grabs his arm.

“What?” Luke is not sure how many more tasks are to be set on him.

“Please, tell Anakin and Hanamé how much they were loved and wanted. Please, only have good things told to them about me and Ben, especially Ben. Let them know their father is not a monster but a kind, loving man who wanted them more than anything else in the galaxy,” you out your hand on Anakin’s head.

“Of course, I will,” Luke promises.

Rey comes back from the cockpit having left Chewie to fly the ship. She comes to you not sure if she approves of your plan to use the single person escape pod to go to the First Order.

“We are almost to where the beacon leads. Are you sure you want to do this?” Rey asks you. Her hazel eyes give away her fear that you, her new found sister, may die and leave her alone in the galaxy again. You stand up.

“I am.”

Rey leads you away to the where the escape pod is. Luke follows behind with Anakin. Rey opens the pod and sets it up for you. When she comes out you know it is time for you to get in and possibly never see them again.

“I left all of the important childcare information in the bag back there. Anakin won’t like it but if no one is able to breastfeed him it will be okay to start giving him different milk,” You inform Rey and Luke. You look between them both. They are not pleased with your decision but you will not change your mind.

You take Rey into a hug. “I am glad to know I have a brave and kind sister.”

Rey tightens her hold on you after your words. You two separate.

“Give Chewie my gratitude and love.”

Rey nods.

and you turn to Luke. You give him a roomy hug as you do not want to crush Anakin.

“Thank you for teaching me…Father,” you call him and kiss his cheek. He is your father even if it is not by blood or marriage. Never had anyone called him that. It his blue eyes that gain tears now. You hold his robotic hand as you pull away.

“Promise me one more thing,” you hold tightly.

“Anything,” He tries not to let his voice crack.

“Don’t give up on the Jedi. Teach Rey. Let her be your padawan and let the Jedi live on. She will not disappoint and I think she has better temperament for it than me,” You chuckle. Luke presses his lips together still not sure if this promise can be kept.

You let go of his hand to focus on Anakin. You remove him from Luke’s arms and hold him against you child. You do wake the boy but he does not cry out. He is being held by his mother after all. You kiss his head and face repeatedly and tell him you love him. You lift up and bring him back from your face. You want one last look at his face. His smile is intoxicating and almost too much for you to leave.

“Goodbye, my love. Be a good boy, Anakin,” You give him his task. He raises his hand and puts it on your cheek. It feels like a tiny version of Ben’s hand and Han’s hand. He is a Solo through and through. You give him back to Luke. You all feel the ship come out of lightspeed. You climb into the escape pod with arms crossed and your lightsaber held against your chest. Rey locks you. You exchange knowing nods to each other. It is time.

Your pod shoots out form the Millennium Falcon and flies towards the nearest First Order ship: the Supremacy. As your pod flies to the docking bay, cautious TIE Fighters come by you as if to escort you. The pod lands making your bump inside. You can feel Ben is near or at least on this ship. The steam of the pod creates white clouds around your pod. It clears. You look up hoping Ben is there, that he sensed you and came

The smoke clears. It is not Ben who stands over your pod but General Hux. You can see the shock in his eyes. He orders for the pod to be opened. It does. Hux grabs your lightsaber and troopers come with guns ready to shoot you in the pod.

“Lady Ren,” Hux calls you, “How are you alive and here?”

“I was never dead, General Hux,” you inform him. His cheeks pinken.

“Handcuff her. I am taking her to Supreme Leader Snoke,” Hux barks the order to the troopers. You want to see Snoke. Ben will surely come to you then. You allow yourself to be handcuffed and taken from the pod.

Hux takes you into an elevator with him. Hux stares at you uncomfortably. He has not been alone with you since he thought you a corpse and he kissed you.

“How are you alive?” Hux questions coming in front of you in the elevator.

“I told you I was _never_ dead. Snoke just told everyone I was. Dr. Ryza snuck me out,” You tell Hux the truth.

“Were you conscious when…” General Hux thinks on the kiss he gave you and his words.

“Yes.

“And you let me kiss you?” He points out how you did not resist him.

“I was to play dead. I had to let you do what you did or else you would have turned me into Snoke like you are now,” You give reason for you lack of protest. Hux’s lips pucker displeased that the faintest possibility that you had wanted him to kiss you is clearly not true.

The elevator door opens. The heavy darkness you felt now is suffocating. How could it not be when you are being brought before the darkest master you have ever met?

Even from a distance you see the fury and surprise in the pale eyes of the Supreme Leader who is otherwise still as a stone statue. He must have already sensed your presence but seeing you is still alarming.

Hux grips you by the upper arm and leads you across the bridge to the area before Snoke. You see his red clad praetorian guard. They are ready to fight and protect the Supreme Leader though he is more powerful than all in the room.

“Sly,” he calls you as Hux sends his boot into the back of your knee so you fall to a kneeled position.

“Supreme Leader, she came on her own accord in a pod, I brought her to you immediately. I confiscated her lightsaber as well,” Hux holds up your weapon.

Snoke holds up his hand and the lightsaber flies to him. He sets it on the armrest next to him.

“Very good, General Hux. Go now. I sense a disturbance on a lower deck,” Snoke touches his head. General Hux bows out though he hates that he will miss your execution. But he will know where to find your body later... Hux gets on the elevator and goes down. He is not aware of the other breech in his ship.

You stay on your knees before Snoke. You look at him not truly afraid. You are just…pissed off.

“Well, well, well, Sly…I did not expect to see you again,” Snoke states folding his hands together in front of his sunken chest.

“I bet you did not,” You start to get up from your kneeled position.

“You can stay down,” Snoke waves his finger and you are thrown back down so your cheek hits the floor. You raise your head to look at him.

“I am impressed with in your survival. Where is the boy?” He asks after Anakin.

“Where is my daughter?” You ask in return.

“Nuh uhn uhn. I asked first,” he smirks.

“He is safe with Master Luke Skywalker,” you tell him as Luke probably what Snoke fears most. Why else would Snoke be searching for the man? You sense Snoke’s unease.

“Now where is my daughter?” You ask again.

“I never said I would tell you,” Snoke takes the upper hand again. You scowl. He laughs at your expression.

“I love this hate and anger in you. It is a shame I will not allow you to live long enough to nurture it to further your powers,” Snoke makes it clear his intention with your life.

“Why is it that you want me dead?’ You ask genuinely curious.

“You are a distraction to Kylo. You made him gain hope for more than just control and revenge. He is useless to me when he is conflicted. He is a damaged vessel,” he sneers.

“You want him for a vessel just as you want my daughter for one?” You bring up Hanamé.

“How do you…” He stops.

“You would be surprised what a student of Luke Skywalker can learn,” You bring up Luke again.

“You trained under him? You trained under your husband’s enemy?” Snoke raises his head but lowers his eyes so they are focused on you.

“Yes.”

“Are you a Jedi I now, Sly?” Snoke snorts.

“No. But I am no Sith either.”

“No, you are not strong enough for either side,” Snoke intends to insult you. He holds out his hand to you. Your body raises off the ground and he draws you to him so that your face to face. He brings his decrepit hand to your cheek.

“Now, you will give me Luke Skywalker,” Snoke decides for you. You laugh.

“You think I will give away Skywalker to you? You are a fool,” You spit on his face. Snoke snarls as he sends you flying back and makes you suspend in the air.

“I am will get his location from you, then I will kill you as I should have done when Kylo brought you back from Naboo,” Snoke recalls where he went wrong. He attempts to probe your mind. You resist the burning probing and the bone crushing his force has on your body. You scream out. You will not let him have what he wants.

The you sense him. You sense ben. He is coming. He has come to _this_ ship and he is coming. You start to laugh despite your pain.

“Why are you laughing?” Snoke hisses.

“The greatest of the Skywalker bloodline is going to see you hurting his long-lost wife and he is going to fuck you up,” You keep laughing in your physical agony.

“You overestimate my apprentice. He is weak like his father was. He is so weak I was able to even link his mind to another’s. I had hoped it would draw out the scavenger girl so I could get Skywalker’s location. But this is much better as it has brought you back to me with more information on my enemy,” Snoke is pleased with this turn of events. You feel almost a million fiery needles all over your body. Your laughter subsides and is replaced with screaming.

Snoke probes and prods but your mental wall is practically impenetrable. It is like blasters shooting against a wall made entirely of beskar. He grits his teeth as yours almost shatter against themself. Your spine is about to break and your organs are on the verge bursting. Lightning leaves his fingertips and shocks you over and over. What is childbirth compared to this? Your mind’s fortitude is about to fail.

“Yes, give in to me, child,” Snoke starts to smile.

Giving up would be so easy. It would end the pain. And if you give up, Snoke will kill you. Then Ben will know even more so how Snoke has betrayed him. If your death will lead to Ben’s realization then so be it. Hanamé will be found, she and Anakin will be care of, and everyone else will be fine. You are not afraid.

“There is no death, there is the force.” Luke’s voice comes to you.

You close your eyes and despite the pain, you breathe. You begin to repeat the words you read before in the Jedi texts.

“There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force,” you chant soundlessly. You keep repeating it and find yourself no longer in Snoke’s throne room. Instead, you are in your lake looking at the bird in the sky. However, the bird looks less like a bird now. It looks like…a butterfly, a blue butterfly. It flies to you. As it comes near, you hear it call your name faintly.

Ben managed to get off the Finalizer and on the Supremacy. He could sense you were there. He follows his feeling of you. He ignores the sense he recognizes as that traitor FN-2187 as he could care less of a Resistance coup and more about you.

Shooting up the elevator, your force signature only grows stronger and stronger to Ben. He knows you are with Snoke. He does not understand why he feels this great pain all over his body. He almost doubles over in agony but it suddenly subsides.

The elevator door opens. Ben takes a single step into the throne room. His heart could leap through his chest as his eyes are set upon your suspended body. He looks to Snoke. The master focuses entirely on you and your exclusive mind. He does not even notice Ben’s presence.

“Give it to me you, bitch!” Snoke screams at you and is now standing. Ben’s breathing is labored and his eyes dart back and forth between his wife and master. He must stop this. He must stop this!

“Stop!” Ben charges Snoke with lightsaber on and in his hands. Snoke finally tears his gaze from you and sees his approaching apprentice. Snoke lets you fall to the ground and breaking you out of your peaceful place.

You open your eyes and see Ben running at Snoke fearlessly. Snoke holds out his hands. Lightning comes from it. Ben uses his lightsaber to absorb the lightning. You see the guards coming closer with weapons ready. You look to your husband who tires his best to step forward but his feet only start to slide backward. Your eyes go to the frustrated but smirking leader.

“You damned child! Do you think you can defeat me? I gave you power. I turned you from a sniveling brat into a man! I am your master! I am your god!” Snoke proclaims himself.

You see Ben’s eyes flicker from you to beyond Snoke. Your eyes follow his. Your eyes land on your lightsaber that is still resting on Snoke’s throne. You know what must be done. You hold out your finger. 

“You are _nothing_ to me but a liar and manipulator,” Ben bares his teeth.

“And you are the fool who believed me!” Snoke laughs and keeps stepping further, “You are a hopeless, pathetic, whiney, useless weakling who has given up his chance to experience true power for the sake of wetting your wick in this bitch’s cunt. After I kill you, I’m going to kill your little whore and get your bastard and kill him too.”

“All you will do is die,” Ben is not shaken by Snoke’s words. You curl your finger.

Your lightsaber ignites and flies through the air and impales Snoke’s head. Snoke’s lightning fingers lose their electric zing and fall. Ben swings his blade and decapitates the Supreme Leader. You grab your lightsaber from the fallen head and get to your feet. With blades in hands, you look to each other relieved.

You want nothing more than to hold him and kiss him now. He whispers your name with the same desire. But you both see in the corners of your eyes the guards now springing into action. You both know what you two must do.

Going back to back, you to face the charging guards from around the room. Ben’s blade bloke a high blow from a guard as you do the same. The attacks and blocks are quick as they must be, Ducking, dodging, swinging, slashing, you two avoid death and injury to yourselves. As Ben blocks two guards at once, you turn and run your lightsaber through the third guard on his side who attempts to stab him. You lift your saber up to block the three weapons coming down on you. You lean back and feel Ben’s back. You grip his thick thigh as you hold onto his body for the support you need to bring up your legs and kick your attackers off you. Damn! It feels divine to even feel his body against yours.

You two spin and jump apart so you can cover more ground. Ben turns more physical in his fighting as he punches and kicks at his enemies. You are light on your feet and use the lightsaber maneuvers Luke and Ben taught you. You spin and hit the chest of a guard wielding a double-bladed spear. He falls to the ground and face a guard who whips his Bilari electro-chain whip around your blade. He pulls you toward him despite your resistance. The bladed tip of the whip is at your throat and the guard grabs you by your throat. You duck your head and spin out his hold while pulling back so he is impaled by your captured lightsaber. You are left to face another guard with a bladed staff he pulls apart so that they may be two knives. You charge him. You miss your first hit but end up slashing a device that makes the red wall fall and expose the stars around the ship as well as the mix of the First Order ships and the distant Resistance ones. 

Ben is cornered by three guard but he thrusts forward sending two spinning away. He runs his saber through the center one’s chest then throws him into an incinerator. There are three other opponents who stalk Ben in a circle. Ben holds out his blade toward them. He hears you grunting as you fight your own guard. Though you are besting the guard, he manages to stick your arm with his blade. You cry out paining Ben, but he must fight his own guards.

Ben deflects and counters each attack of his guards as you do the same with yours. As Ben slays a guard, he takes his pole weapon and adds it to his arsenal to kill another. The pole and lightsaber get stuck in a fallen guard’s armor. Weaponless, the last guard on Ben’s side swings at the fallen leader’s apprentice. Ben practically runs backward. The guard does catch him. In their struggle, the guard uses his spear’s handle to trap Ben in a headlock.

You sense Ben’s distress but you have to stop your foe. Though you were able to knock one blade from his hand, he catches your raised arm keeping you from moving your lightsaber. Ben pants an looks at you struggle. The guard’s blade is approaching your face. You drop your lightsaber thus freeing your arm. You squat down and catch it. You sever the legs then stand and sever the head. You spin around and see Ben still being choked.

“Ben!” you call. He looks at you. You throw your lightsaber at him. He catches it and upon doing so he flashes it on. It pierces the head of the guard. He falls and releases Ben from the hold.

Ben stands to his full height with labored breaths. You stare at him from across the throne room with your own lungs desperately claiming air. You are surrounded by the bodies of those you only wished you two death and tried to fulfill that wish. There are flames from where your lightsabers ignites fabric in the room during the fighting. Out in space the First Order are shooting at Resistance escape transports. The room is silent save the heavy breaths and crackling flames. Ben drops your lightsaber. His eyes go to nothing but you. Your eyes are only locked on him.

Slowly then at lightspeed, you two race toward each other. Meeting in the middle, your and his arms wrap around one another. Your lips meet and nothing has tasted as sweet as this. Your hand grips his hair so he cannot pull away, not that he ever wants to do that again. Tears of joy are mixed his and your cheeks. He murmurs your name breathlessly and repeatedly as you do the same when the lips go to kiss the rest of the face.

Your eyes meet when you two give each other some facial space. There is so much pain in each other’s eyes but also go much love.

“Ben,” you just say his name before he kisses you again. He falls to his knees but keeps you in his hold. His tongue and yours try to rediscover every part of the other’s mouth. He lays you down on the hard ground. Your hands are in his hair and your legs around his waist. His hands press against the rubble covered ground to keep him from crushing you entirely with his body weight though you want to feel his entirety on you and in you. You have been starving for his touch, for his kiss, for his voice, for him

The hunger is not just on your part. Ben’s hand pushes up the short hem of your dress then goes to his pants. You moan encouragingly as his forlorn cock emerges. Ben shortens the kiss and looks to your eyes.

“Please,” He is hesitant to proceed in this heated moment but he wants to so badly.

“Yes.” You need it as much as he does.

You gasp as he enters you. He stares into your eyes and begins bucking his hips. He is rough, hard, and desperate. His body is out of control but his eyes are steady and constant. You willingly suffer the beating your womanhood is given by his mighty cock. It needs it. You keep your eyes only on his though. It is you and him. It is only you two. You are the only two in the galaxy and you are finally together as one once more.

As the galaxy within your bodies shakes as your love explodes, the Supremacy shakes as well as it suffers the catastrophic blow from the Resistance cruiser flying through it at lightspeed.


	126. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! I take you all liked the last chapter! Thank you for the comments and kudos. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 126

The violent shake of the Supremacy being severed is not enough to bring you and Ben out of your high. You cling to each other on the filthy floor not wanting the destruction around you two to ruin this moment of reunion.

“How are you alive?” He asks.

“snoke order for my death and Anakin’s but Dr. Ryza snuck me out on TIE Fighter. I crash landed on a planet where Luke ended up being. He saved me and Anakin. He took care of us for these past seven months,” You fill him in on your life. Ben eyebrows dip as he tries to process all of the information.

“Dr. Ryza saved you and Anakin?”

“Yes.”

“What about Hanamé?” He has not forgotten his daughter.

“Snoke took her away somewhere. I don’t know where but she is alive. I have seen her in visions. I know she is alive,” You want to reassure him. He relaxes for a second though you both know this is still not good as she is gone.

“Where is Anakin now?” he knows the child is not onboard.

“He is with Luke…” You are not sure how he will react.

“You left him with Skywalker!” Ben’s anger simmers.

“Yes! He is not who he used to be. I have spent the past seven months with him and I know him so well now. He will not hurt Anakin,” You touch Ben’s unscarred cheek.

“My mother thought the same thing,” Ben is not over the betrayal. You suppose he never will be.

“He isn’t alone with Luke. Chewie is there and my sister,” You bring up Ben’s non-blood uncle and Rey.

“Chewie?” Ben thinks softly of the Wookie even though the last time they saw each other the Wookie shot him. “And your sister? You mean Jyn?”

Ben knows you often refer to Jyn as your sister.

“No, my half-sister…. Rey,” You bring up the girl. The more you tell him, the more you fer he will grow in anger. All of these people have hurt him.

“The scavenger?” Ben is not soft in his reference to her.

“Yes…I saw that she and I…we have the same mother,” You reveal.

“I saw that too. I was probing her mind and I saw her mother. I recognized her as the woman who gave you away,” Ben confirms it as well.

I know you probably are not happy with the group I’ve left Anakin with and that they are headed to meet with your mom but I want him to be safe just in case something happened to me here,” You want him to know your reasoning.

“They are going to my mother?” Ben sits up rather panicked. You sit up as well. Ben pulls out of you and tuck himself away.

“What’s wrong?” you don’t understand his fright.

“We are attacking them right now,” Ben gets up and pulls you up by the hand. You pale. Have you just sent your baby to slaughter?

“Supreme Leader! The Resistance flew a ship through this one and took out several other ships! They are still headed to Crait and-” General Hux bursts into the throne room. He stops in disbelief on the bridge seeing the dead bodies of the supreme leader and guards everywhere as well as the little fires. His eyes land on you and Ben.

“What happened?” Hux looks to Ben.

“I did what you could not,” Ben looks to Hux.

“What?” Hux’s left eyebrow shoots up.

“Don’t lie. You wanted Snoke dead as well. You’ve been plotting his murder for some time. I have done it though,” Ben admits to the killing. Hux’s jaw tenses.

“I would never betray the First Order like this,” Hux tries to play faithful underling.

“You would if it benefited you. I know your true color,” Ben stares down the liar whose cheeks color.

“I-”

“Snoke was weak and I have rid the First Order of his weakness,” Ben sounds like a true First Order member. “Now, we need to-”

“Who do you think you are talking to?” Hux interrupts. “you presume to command my army and me? Our Supreme Leader is dead! We have no ruler!”

Ben holds up his hand and use his force choke on Hux. You grab Ben’s arm disapprovingly but Ben ignores your touch. Hux grabs for his own throat and falls to his knees before Ben.

“The Supreme Leader is dead,” Ben states irritated by Hux’s insubordination.

“Long live… the Supreme Leader,” Hux recognizes Ben’s new role. Ben lowers his arm and free Hux.

“Now, General Hux, have all of our survivors head back to our closest base for treatment and to rebuild the ships that need it. We will gather our admirals and other leaders then to make our next move,” Ben orders.

“Yes…Supreme Leader,” Hux gets up from the ground. He starts for the elevator door but stops.

“What about the resistance? They are heading for Crait,” Hux points beyond Ben to the planet in the window behind you two.

“They will be waiting a long time before anyone can help them. We will leave them stranded there for now. You better go and do as I say, General Hux. You will need to find your own escape transport after all,” Ben reminds Hux of his own safety. Hux leaves.

“We are leaving? But Anakin is-” You do not understand his order.

“We will take Snoke’s ship and go to Crait. You will Anakin from the others then we will go find Hanamé,” Ben lets you in on his plan.

“We are not going to the First Order,” You start to smile.

“No. I could hear Hux’s thoughts. He will tell all that I killed Snoke then probably have me shot down on sight when we arrive at a base. We will not return to them,” Ben shakes his head. You give a full smile.

“We won’t?”

“No. It's time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels, the First Order.... let it all die. It is all dead to me now. All I care about is you, the twins, and our future. Let’s go and live our lives together free of the past,” He holds his hand out to you. You are about to take it but you pause. You only want to be with him and the twins, but you cannot let the past die. It helps to define who you and Ben are. You want peace with his family not estrangement because the past is dead. Also…the galaxy is still at war even if you are with Ben and the kids.

“Even if we let it all die to us does not mean we will die to it. The First Order and Resistance will still fight and affect us and the galaxy. We need our I want it to be us and the twins, but it can’t be that yet. We need to find Hanamé and there needs to be a victor in this galaxy. We have to pick a side and go from there. _Then_ maybe we can let the past die,” You explain your thoughts. Ben exhales frustrated. He wanted you to go off his passion with him and run away. But he knows what you are saying is true. For your family to be able to be alone and safe, the galaxy has to be under the control of people who will not try to kill them. He knows the government that will not hurt them is…the Resistance. If he comes now to the Resistance, to his mother, he can make sure he is not seen as an enemy and help them. If he helps them, he and you and the twins can be free upon their victory. He knows too that you probably do not want sever the relationship you have formed with the others.

“Then I guess we are to become Rebel scum,” Ben sighs but you smile.

“You will turn to the Resistance?” You want to be sure.

“As long as you stay by side,” he has kept his hand up and offered to you. You take his hand. A kiss is exchanged. You two pick up your discarded lightsabers and attach them to your holsters. Ben hastily pulls you away to find Snoke’s personal shuttle.

Ben takes the pilot’s position. You sit in the co-pilot seat though you are still removed from knowing how exactly to help.

Ben has the ship detach from the burning Supremacy. You two watch as the First Order ships fly off at lightspeed. Once they are gone, Ben turns the ship to go to Crait.

Leia looks out the endless white scape of Crait as she stands inside the barricade. There are only a few survivors now. She wonders if the First Order are going to come after them. It would be an opportune time for the First Order as the Resistance is trapped with no resources.

On the horizon, Leia can see a ship approaching. It is not one of hers so she knows it belongs to the First Order.

“They’re coming, shut the door,” Leia turns from the opening having spoken into the communicator. Her followers begin to shut the door but it proves to be longer process than desired. Even little vulptices run into the shelter.

The ship is not stopping and flying directly toward the opening. There are no other ships though. It is just the one.

“Go! Go! Move! Get that shield door down!” Poe yells to the others seeing the ship will not stop and will crash into them. Leia moves as quickly as the others to be away from the opening. Still the ship slides into the opening as the door is almost shut taking off the top of the ship.

Once the ship stops sliding, the resistance members take fire against the ship. They will not let the one to get in kill them. Even Leia joins Poe in shooting at the ship’s passengers.

Two sets of hands shoot up along with pleas to stop the shooting.

“Hold your fire! Hold your fire!” Poe holds up his hand to have all stop. They do but keep their aim. Leia see the dark head of the trooper turned hero as well as young woman with fluttery black hair and a rounded face.

“Finn!” Poe exclaims with heart fluttering seeing his special friend. He does not fail to acknowledge the woman. “Rose! You’re not dead!”

Poe remembers the other missing thing of great importance. “Where’s my droid?

The ship opens letting out BB-8 who happily reunites with his buddy. BB-8 tries to relay a load of information to Poe who can only take in so much at a time.

Rose looks around at the small party. “Is this all that’s left?” She looks back to Finn with heart breaking at the loss of her people.

The rebels have to get themselves set up now. They are able to get their communication set up and a shield around Crait so they will take not fire from any skying ship off planet. They begin their desperate calls to their allies across the galaxy. They need help. They need a rescue. They have to call to the outer rim. Leia insists on the use of her personal code so their allies will come. Rose helps the Resistance members find what little weaponry and skim speeders they can so if the First Order attacks they can somewhat fight back.

There is a rumbling sound outside the door that causes concern to those who here. Poe orders for a scout look out to see what is outside. The scout does through a periscope. He scratches his head.

“What is it?” Poe asks.

“It’s a ship.”

“What kind of ship?” Poe wants a specification.

“A shuttle of sorts. Like a nice one not meant for battle,” The scout answers.

“Let me see,” Poe looks into the periscope. The scout is right. It looks like a rathe lux shuttle.

“Who the hell is flying that here?” Poe huffs.

Inside the shuttle you take a deep breath. You cannot believe that Ben is really going to do this. He is going to join the Resistance, rejoin his mother and finally meet his son! You look over to Ben but he looks straight forward. You sense his hesitation and fear. He is afraid of his mother’s rejection, afraid of being shot down literally as he is an enemy, afraid of never getting to meet his son.

“Ben,” You take his hand causing his eyes to go to you. “It’s going to be okay.”

You let go of his hand and make the ramp open so you can go out. Ben walks behind you but stops before he can descend.

“Wait here. I will go first. I’ll let you know when it is safe for you,” You walk down. Ben swallows but lets you go. You walk toward the front of the ship with hands raised so those inside the Crait mine know you are not a foe.

Poe stops breathing and lets go of the periscope. He falls to his knees on the ground. He cannot believe it. It’s you. It’s you but you’re dead. You’re dead. How are you here?

“What is wrong?” Finn checks on his friend. Poe says nothing.

The scout goes back to the periscope. To see what possibly could have frightened their fearless Poe.

“There is a woman outside with hands raised,” the scout describes rather vaguely.

“Is it Rey?” Finn asks the scout and Poe.

“No. It’s someone else. I have no idea who she is though,” the scout shakes his head.

Poe starts to smile and laugh almost hysterically. You are here! You are alive! He should have known Kylo Ren was a liar! You did run away. Now you are here!

“It’s Meia,” Poe looks up to Finn.

“Who?” Finn is unfamiliar with this name. Leia stands up from her seat near the communications. She takes the scout’s place. She smiles.

“It is Meia,” Leia would not believe it if she did see you with herself in the periscope. She does not know how you are alive but she is glad you are. It is now that she senses your signature. She senses another one. It is Leia whose breath is lost when she feels it.

Ben? She wonders if it really is him or is the children? Either way, Leia wants to know. 

“I’m going out there,” Leia lets go of the Periscope.

“You cannot! It is too dangerous!” Finn steps to block her.

“I will do as I need to, Finn. I will go out through the old trenches so you all will remain safe,” Leia informs the others.

“But, Leia,” Larma D’Acy comes to protest. Leia raises her hand.

“I must do this,” Leia walks toward the door that witll lead to a trench.

“I will go with you then,” Poe goes to catch her. She turns to him and grabs his arm.

“No. I need you to stay here,” She tells him then leaves him behind.

Leia goes into the deep red trench. She walks slowly toward the steps that will stake her up to the white salt ground. As she comes closer to the steps, she feels her son’s presence more. It has to be him. But what is he doing here? Why does he have his not-so dead wife? Is this a ploy to gain her trust so she opens the mine then the First Order will attack? Will the attack just be Ben? With his raw power, Leia knows he is capable to fight off anyone.

If he is here with her alone, this must be something else. It must be. Leia tells herself and carefully ascends the steps.

You see her and beam.

“Leia!” You start toward her. You reach her and embrace the woman. She holds you close and tightly. She hopes this is not a trick.

“Meia, I thought you were-”

“Dead? I know. Everyone did. But I’m here and I have brought Ben,” Your happiness is spread to Leia. She knew it was Ben.

“He is on the ship?

“Yes. I didn’t want him getting shot down by stepping out. But I swear, Leia, he is here of his own volition and he wants to help the Resistance,” You want to make it clear to your mother-in-law.

“He does?” Leia never thought she would see the day this would happen though she hoped for it.

“Yes. But he is afraid. I sense it. Please, come and show him there is nothing to fear,” You take her hand.

Leia comes with you to the ship. You two go to the lowered ramp. You see Ben is not standing there anymore. You let go of Leia’s hand and run into the ship.

“Ben!” You call for him and find him standing against the wall just inside with his back presses against it. His position shows he is hiding. He is hiding from his mother. You see the sweat leaking from his skin and notice his breathing is uneven. He is scared.

“Ben,” You take his hand.

“I can’t. She won’t…she won’t…” Ben cannot speak properly.

“Ben?” Leia has started up the ramp. Ben freezes. Leia continues you up and turns to see Ben hiding and you holding his hand. The mother stops as she lays on her son. She has not seen him in so may years. He is so tall, neck hurting so. His hair is black but thick like hers. His nose, jaw and lips are Han’s. he always did look so much like Han. Even with the horrible scar on his face, he resembles his father. His eyes are hers though. She has always known that. He is all Ben. He is all her Ben.

“Ben,” She smiles to him.

“Mom?” he is not sure if he can even call her after all he has done to her.

“Ben,” She comes to him and opens her arms. You step out of reach as she wraps her arms around Ben. She holds him tightly as she has not been able to do so since he was with Luke. She cries but silently. Though there is so much pain on both sides, she is happy. She can see, feel and touch her son, her beloved son.

Ben feels his mother’s overwhelming love radiating from her. He melts from his frozen state and gives into the hug. He returns the physical expression of affection. His knees give up on him as do the gates that keep in his tears. On his knees. He clings to his mother with his head pressed into her stomach just like when he was a child.

“Mom…I…I’m sorry. I thought…I thought…” he cannot speak clearly.

“Shh, Ben. It’s okay. I’m sorry too,” Leia apologizes for her past mistakes with him.

You stand watching and crying. This needed to be done. It has been needed for a long time.

The tears subside and Ben rises again with his hands in his mother’s. He presses his forehead against his mother’s then lifts his head. He looks to you. He never would be able to have this if it were not for you.

“Now, Ben, are you going to come with me?” Leia squeezes her son’s hands. 

“Yes, if you will have me,” Ben wants to be accepted.

“Yes, of course!” Leia nods. She keeps a hand in Ben’s then walks out of the ship You realize Ben’s cum from your earlier copulation is suddenly dripping down your leg. Instead of walking into the base with literal cum dripping down your leg, you run into the lavatory on the ship to clean yourself.

Poe watches Leia comes out of the ship through the periscope. She comes out holding the hand of a tall black-haired man. Poe thinks him familiar but does not recognize the face. He does not see you though.

Leia heads to the trenches. Poe tries to pinpoint who the man is. He goes to the entrance that Leia will come into with Finn and several other armed officers.

Leia enters the room with you and the tall, dark stranger. Finn immediately recognizes Ben. He raises his blaster up to shoot. Leia steps before Ben as the others stare confused as to what Finn is doing.

“Stand aside, General. This man is Kylo Ren!” Finn gives away the man’s identity. Poe and the others take their aim. They are ready to kill the First Order commander.

“Put your weapons down!” Leia orders with hands up.

“But, General, this man is-” Poe starts.

“This man is my son, Ben Solo,” Leia causes many gasps to ripple through the base. “He has come to help us.”

“It is a trick!” Finn keeps his gun high, “He killed his own father. I saw it. What is to stop him from killing us when we are nothing to him?”

Poe and the others nod in agreement to this theory. Ben sees and senses the hostility from the Rebels. He cannot say that he did not expect this. Still, it makes him dread his decision. Why could you not just run away with him?

“You defected from the First Order, what is to stop you from defecting from the Resistance, Finn? And you, Poe, you committed mutiny against Vice Admiral Holdo, what is to stop you from doing it against me?” Leia brings up the wrongs of the men who flush at the references.

“We would never-” Poe and Finn start but Leia holds up her hand to silence them again.

“I still trust you two despite these things and have forgiven you. I have forgiven my and I trust him. You don’t have to trust him but trust me,” Leia defends Ben giving him some encouragement and some relief as she has given her forgiveness. Finn and the others lower their weapons.

“Sorry, it took me some time to get here but-” You finally reach the Ben and Leia. You stop when you see everyone gathered including Poe and Finn. You smiling seeing them.

“Poe! Eight Seven!” You beam. Finn looks on you in disbelief as Poe blushes and smooths his hair.

“Seven-One?” Finn gawks while Poe flashes a smile and calls you ‘Meia’. The men turn to each other.

“You know her too?” They ask simultaneously surprised that the other knows you. You want to hug both men but you know you need to stand as Ben’s support and he would not like to see you embracing other men. 

“I thought you were dead,” Poe and Finn speak at the same time again which they find strange btu not as strange as you being alive.

“Who is this?” Rose comes up to Finn’s side and looks you over.

“This is my daughter-in-law, Meia Solo,” Leia comes to you and puts her hand on your shoulder.

“Hi,” You awkwardly wave your hand to the rest of the group.

“Now, Ben, tell us what we need and can do to protect ourselves from the First Order,” Leia turns to her son. He clears his throat looking at the eyes of the people who do not trust him. He feels hate coming from Finn and Poe. But he will not be afraid of these chumps.

Ben begins to tell the rebels of a plan to help them until they can get transport away to an ally as well as of how the First Order is gone to ‘recover’. You stand holding his hand the entire time amazed as you always are when he comes up with battle and protection plans. You are proud of him as well as turned on.

Finn and Poe know that this plan set by Ben is wise but they still do not like him. They also want to speak to you but there is no way to right now as you are still attached to the now First Order commander.

A loud noise like before when you and Ben landed draws attention. Of course, Finn and Poe assume it is more First Order ships that have come and Ben lied.

“It’s some old freighter. It has no signs of being First Order,” the scout who looks in the periscope informs the fearful people.

“It has to be the Millennium Falcon!” You are the one to exclaim. You know it has to be since she was headed to you wherever Leia was which is here. You start for the trench exit and pull Ben with you. The rest stay inside while you two get out onto the salty land. You want to run but Ben walks. As you are holding his hand you have to slow down. You sense his anxiety again. He knows who is on this ship.

“It’s going to be okay, Ben,” you rub his arm.

“I just…what if he hates me?” Ben stops halfway to the ship.

“Who? Luke? Luke doesn’t hate you,” You think of his uncle.

“I don’t give a fuck about Luke. KI mean Anakin. What if he hates me?” Ben thinks of his son. You forgot for a moment that Ben has yet to meet his son.

“He is going to love his Daddy,” You tell Ben. You pull on him and make him continue walking.

The two of you walk reach the Millennium Falcon. The ship opens as you reach it. Rey comes out first. Seeing you, you two immediately hug.

When Rey pulls back, she sees Ben next to you. Her smile drops which is understandable as not long ago she wanted to kill this man. She can’t now since he is her brother-in-law and his presence means that he has at least turned to join the Resistance.

“Kylo,” She addresses him.

“Rey,” He says her name as coldly as she addressed him.

Chewie comes down the ramp along side R2D2. The droid rolls backward seeing Ben while Chewie stares at his best friend’s son and killer. You walk to the Wookie and hug him. He hugs you back but keeps his eyes on Ben who deters his eyes. He knows their once close relationship is practically nonexistent now.

“Come on, Artoo,” You hear Luke’s voice as does Ben. Ben returns his eyes up. He tenses knowing his uncle is approaching. You grab Ben’s arm to send him some ease but he stays tense.

Luke descends with Anakin in his harms. The child’s back is to Ben and you. Ben’s heart skips seeing the child. Luke sees Ben and is unsure of what to say, do and even look. But he is glad Ben is there as this means he has joined the Resistance. You let go of Ben go to retrieve your son.

You take Anakin from Luke who you give a smile. You come toward Ben. Luke suggests to Rey, Chewie and R2D2 that they give the little family some privacy. They walk away toward the way you came as you reach Ben. You had been hugging Anakin close to you as to hug him after being parted from him.

Ben looks down at his son. Anakin bats his big brown eyes at his father. Ben pores release more stress sweat. He does not even breathe. What does this child think seeing him? What does he think of this stranger?

No matter what Anakin thinks, Ben will prove himself to be a good father. He will spend the rest of his life making up for his absence these past seven months. Still…he hopes the baby does not cry.

“Ben, this is Anakin. Anakin, this is Daddy,” You introduce the father to his son and vie versa. You hold Anakin toward Ben. He is not sure what to do with the blinking baby. Ben takes Anakin by putting his hands under his son’s underarms. Ben holds up Anakin awkwardly. He does not know what to do or say. He has never actually held an infant before. Anakin’s limbs are very stiff and he keeps looking at you rather confused as to who is holding him and why he is holding him like this. You bite your lip to keep from laughing at the sweet awkwardness.

Anakin stares at the big man then finally cracks a smile. Doing so Ben smiles to and starts to laugh at his anxiety. The child does not hate him it seems. You can let out a little laugh as well now. Ben brings the baby close to him now and holds him in a hug close to his chest. Anakin looks to you enjoying the affection though he is still confused by it.

“My son, my son,” Ben murmurs lovingly to Anakin. You watch overjoyed that your two favorites are together. Now, you just need Hanamé.


	127. Aboard the Millennium Falcon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Some of these future chapters have some fluff so watch out haha. Please, enjoy!

# Chapter 127

Ben’s hold on Anakin is very protective yet tentative. He holds out his son so he can look at him directly again. His chest swells with pride also so much more.

You have my eyes…Ben thinks. He brings Anakin’s head close to him so he can press his forehead to the infant’s. He wants his son to hear his thoughts.

I will fight for you. I will make this galaxy right for you. I will make sure you will never suffer like I did. You will never be without my love and never again will I leave you without my protection. You will grow up free and loved. You are worth giving up everything else.

Ben lowers the child from his head and Anakin keeps turning his head toward you. He reaches out for you. Ben lets his son go to you. It is evident when Anakin is back in your arms why he wanted you. He literally starts trying to get at your nipples through your dress. You laugh at his eagerness. Ben snorts seeing his son’s actions.

“I need to feed him.”

You walk up the ramp of Millennium Falcon’s ramp so you can find a seat to nurse Anakin comfortably and privately. Ben walks into the ship with you. You notice him walking slowly in the ship. He looks around taking in the old freighter. You two walk the main corridor intending to go to the main hold but Ben stops at the cockpit access corridor.

Ben looks toward the cockpit but does not move toward it. He can feel his father there even though he knows Han is not there. You touch Ben’s arm.

“Are you okay?” You check on his well being though Anakin is starting whimper.

“Yeah…just there’s a lot of memories here,” Ben does not look from the cockpit corridor. You can understand this.

“Take your time, Ben. I’ll be in the main hold with Anakin,” You walk away to leave Ben alone in the ship.

You find a seat near the holochess board. You uncover your breast and let Anakin latch.

Ben walks toward the cockpit now. Entering the area, he is hit with waves of memories. He can see his father in the pilot’s seat and Chewie in the co-pilot seat. He would be sat in the back seats with his mother. But when his mother was not around, Ben would sit in Han’s lap or Chewie’s.

A shining catches his eyes. Hanging from the ceiling are the gold dice his father kept. Ben takes the connected dice into his hands. He looks at them fondly. He loved playing with the dice especially when Han and Chewie were teaching him Sabacc. Ben puts the dice into his pocket. He will teach Anakin Sabacc with these dice as well.

Ben leaves the cockpit and returns to walking around the ship. He goes the opposite way you had been going so he can see more of the ship. Every part of his father’s ship makes him remember something else. He enters the crew quarters where he, his parents and Chewie would sleep. Well, he would sleep with Chewie in a bunk when his mother was onboard as she would sleep with Han. But he would share his father’s bed when his mother was gone. He always sleeps better next to somebody who loves him. That is why he sleep best next to you. He discovered that the first time he fell asleep with you on Hoth though he did not intend to do so.

Ben goes to the cot meant for Chewie. He sees a drape is still over the far wall of the cot. He pushes it aside. It is faded but sure enough there is a poorly drawn Wookie holding hands with what Ben though he looked like. There is a crudely formed Han, Leia, Luke, R2D2 and C3P0 drawn as well. He drops the drape and leaves the room. 

Entering the hold, Ben sees you sitting near the holochess board. You peek up at him and smile.

“He can never get enough,” You refer to Anakin. Ben stares at your large breast from which Anakin feeds.

Watching you feeding Anakin while smiling down at the child so tenderly, Ben sees your maternal glow. You are the very vision of a wife and mother to him. You look just as you should though a child short. Your beauty and standing in his eyes have only been elevated. You have done so much for him and Anakin. You have gone out of your way to help him reunite with his mother and son despite the danger. And now, after being tortured by Snoke, fighting guards, and helping mend the Solo family, you have put your son before your own need and are feeding him from your own breast. His love has only grown for you. He knows it is not appropriate but he feels the overwhelming desire to make love to you now. Well, not now but after you finish feeding your child. He wants to show you how much he loves you especially physically.

You notice Ben staring at you and Anakin especially where you and the son are connected and smirk. “Like father. like son,” you mumble.

Ben blushes hearing you and knowing you are referring to the son suckling and his own past suckling. You laugh at his reaction.

“I like it though. When we are apart and he would eagerly suckle, it only reminded me more of you. It brought me some comfort,” You look back down to Anakin. Ben comes and sits by you and puts his hand on Anakin’s head.

“I will never let us be apart again. I promise,” Ben looks at you. You lift your eyes to him. You bring your hand to Ben’s cheek. You lean over and kiss him again.

Anakin has had his fill and you are able to get him to detach. You cover your breast and sit Anakin upright. You start to put him on his shoulder to burp him.

“What are you doing?” Ben asks.

“I’m going to burp him,” You bring your hand to pat the baby’s back.

“Can I?” Ben requests. You grin. You hand Anakin over and make sure Ben positions Anakin properly on his shoulder.

“Now what?” Ben is not sure.

“Rub the back in small circles then pat his back,” You direct. Ben does as you direct.

“How long do I do this?”

“Until he burps,” You enjoy watching him out of his element.

“Urp!” Anakin burps finally.

Ben smiles at his success. He stops his patting and starts to lift the boy.

“Blegh.”

Ben finds his black shirt splattered with Anakin’s spit up. He holds Anakin out from him as he tries not to gag. You reach for Anakin.

“I’m sorry. I should have warned you,” You apologize and take Anakin.

“No. Don’t be sorry. He’s a baby. He can’t help what he does. Besides, I should probably get rid of this First Order garb,” Ben looks down to his now stained shirt. Ben stands up.

“I’m going to get cleaned up,” Ben leaves you with Anakin to find the bathroom. You are relieved Ben was not upset from the spit up and is instead understanding.

“Meia?” You hear someone call your Resistance name. You see Luke and smile.

“Where is Ben?” He looks for his estranged nephew.

“Anakin spit up on him so he went to clean himself off.”

“The Resistance members are going to be joining us on here and the other ship soon. I came to make sure you two will be ready to go,” Luke explains his arrival.

“I’m sure we will be. You may want to have someone deactivate the tracker on the First Order ship though,” You think of the other ship.

“We’ve already got someone working on that,” Rey walks in and lets you know.

“Oh, good.”

Chewie comes in with R2D2 then you see Leia. You stand when you see her. You know now she will meet her grandson. You two meet in the middle of the room. You hold Anakin so that he has an arm around him and under him.

“Leia, this is Anakin, your grandson,” You present the woman with the child. Leia reaches out her hands to the boy. You let her take him from your arms.

“He looks just like Ben,” Leia states the obvious.

“I know. I know,” you nod.

“But…he has your…presence,” Leia brings up the difference in force signature.

“You think so?

“Yes. He has a flicker of Ben in his spirit but…he feels like you,” Leia warms your heart by saying this.

“I think so too,” Luke comes by his sister and grandnephew. Watching the two with Anakin makes you wonder if this is how they looked with baby Ben. You want to see Ben with Luke, Leia and Anakin.

You see more of the Resistance members entering the ship. You think to find Ben. You excuse yourself to do so and leave Anakin with Leia. You find the bathroom and knock on the door.

“Ben, can I come inside?” You ask. He opens the door letting you inside. You step inside and see his out shirt in the sink and his loose black knit shirt hanging on a hook. Like this you see his bare chest. You gasp as you see how his facial scar goes down his neck to his chest, on his shoulder is a burn mark, a small fading scar on the opposite arm, and his side has the mark where he was hit from Chewie’s shot. You cannot control the tears that come out of your eyes.

“Oh, Ben,” You come to him and touch the markings.

“They’re hideous, aren’t they?” He grabs your hands to take them from his skin. “You can thank Rey for them and Chewie and that FN-2187. But don’t cry. I’m fine.”

“I don’t mean to cry but…I have never seen you all scarred before and I just…oh, Ben,” You embrace him. He holds you against his bare chest.

“Come on now. I can’t have everyone think I’m making you unhappy and cry,” He lets you go. You wipe at your tears with Ben’s help.

Ben leaves the bathroom with black knit shirt as his main top instead of the more formal outer later. He has moved his belt from his waist to his hip as it adjusts to the right length. You go with him back to the main hold where many Resistance members have boarded and where Leia still sits with her grandson.

Anakin is growing quite fussy with the strangers surrounding him and the desire to go back to sleep. He loves sleeping. Sleeping and eating have to be his favorite pastimes. You take him from Leia who knows it is for the best.

“You two take a seat. We will be taking off momentarily,” Leia lets them know of the soon exit form this planet.

“I will need somewhere quiet so Anakin can fall asleep,” You know this room full of chattering members will not be a good spot.

“I know a spot,” Ben speaks up before anyone else can. It has been years but he still knows this ship. Ben guides you to a second holding area that is empty as none ventured far enough into the ship to find it. There is a futon and a few chairs along with some cargo and a life support system. You sit on the futon with Ben. You feel the ship take off. You begin to cradle Ben and rock him. Anakin easily finds his way to dreamland. Just as he has fallen asleep, you feel the ship go into lightspeed. Anakin’s eyes open again having felt it too. He cries.

Ben’s chest tightens hearing his son cry for the first time. He never knew there could be such a heartbreaking sound.

“It’s okay, Anakin. Shh,” You try to soothe the baby. Ben sits clueless as to how to help. You know how to help the baby. The first line of Ben’s song leaves your mouth and the baby starts to quiet. You keep singing and rocking. Finally, Anakin is calm again. You lay down on the futon on your side and lay Anakin next to you.

“You sing that song to him?” Ben has taken to sitting on the edge of the futon.

“Yes. It is his father’s song after all,” You smile to Ben. Ben gets on his side and lies down so Anakin is in the middle of you two. He, just like you and Anakin, is exhausted. With you lying here so close to him, he knows he can sleep even if it is just a nap and even if it is in a ship full of people who hate him.

“Sing it again,” Ben requests. You reach over and let your fingers go into his hair.

“You sing it with me.”

You two both start to sing but your matching rhythm starts to un-sync as you two start to fall asleep.

Having heard the song she would sing to her son, Leia follows the faint noise her highly trained ears heard. She walks to the second holding room and sees the little family on the futon cuddles around their child. She remembers her, Han, and Ben likes this too. She leaves the room as not to disturb any of you. She makes sure no one else ventures back there either. She sits with Luke and holds on his flesh hand. She leans her head on his shoulder. Soon, they will be with allies, defeat the First Order, find the lost granddaughter Luke told her about, and be one family again. Or so Leia hopes.


	128. Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello darling readers! Thanks for the comments and kudos. They mean so much to me! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 128

Feeling the ship land, you open your eyes. You smile seeing ben asleep across from you and Anakin still asleep between the two of you. None of this was a dream and for that you are grateful. But you must disturb Ben’s sleep.

“Ben,” You grab his shoulder and shake him. His big eyes open. Seeing you before him, he smiles.

“It hasn’t been a dream,” he leans across Anakin and kisses you just to reaffirm this physically.

“No, it’s all very real.”

A knock comes to the door. Ben gets up and goes to it to open the door. Heb sees his mother there. She smiles to her son.

“We have landed,” She informs her son.

“Where?” Ben is curious. He never did not all of the Resistance bases.

“Ajan Kloss.”

“The moon?” Ben raises an eyebrow.

“Yes.”

“Hm… Is that how you have been able to hide so well, by staying on moons?”

“Moons aren’t as valuable in the First Order eyes, are they?” Leia smirks at their ability to avoid the First Order. “We will be disembarking and setting up base here.”

Leia leaves and Ben comes to you as you sit up on the futon. Anakin has yet to wake.

“Do you know what sort of place this is?” You ask having heard Leia’s give away of location.

“It’s a rather jungle like atmosphere and according to my childhood readings, it has a very moist atmosphere,” He sits on the futon again. You are impressed that he can recall such information though it has been long since he learned it.

“Are there any predators?”

“None of note. We will be safe here,” He puts his hand on Anakin’s torso. You put your hand on top of Ben’s.

“Good.”

The Resistance members get off the Millennium Falcon as well as Snoke’s shuttle. They begin to set up their communication systems as well as find the old Rebellion base’s lodgings. You take your time leaving the Millennium Falcon as you wait for Anakin to wake, change him, feed him, burp him and begin his tummy time. Ben watches in awe the entire time as this is all new to him.

“You do this every day with him?”

“It changes every now and again but I try to keep a consistent routine for him,” You watch as Anakin pushes himself up to crawl toward you and Ben.

“When does he start walking?

“The baby book Dr. Ryza gave me says all children are different so I don’t know. And we won’t be talking for a while either,” You jump to the other question Ben might have about Anakin’s development. Ben nods his head.

“Have you noticed any use of the force yet? My mother told me I was using do little tricks with the force within the first three months. Have missed that too?” Ben does not have any bitterness in his voice when he asks. You press your lips together.

“Actually…Anakin does not have any force ability,” You break the news as Anakin turns and crawls beyond you. You make sure to keep your eyes on him.

“What do you mean?” Ben watches you and not his son.

“He has shown no signs of force sensitivity at all. And…the reason Snoke chose Hanamé is because he had a midi-chlorian test done on them when they were born. You know what midi-chlorians are, right?”

“Yes.”

“Anakin’s test showed he only had 2000 per cell. Hanamé had a test that showed she had a count of 21,000 per cell. That’s why Snoke wanted Hanamé and not Anakin.”

Ben’s eyes widen.

“21,000!” He repeats Hanamé’s count.

“Yes.”

“And Anakin only has 2,000?”

“Yes.”

Ben turns his eyes to Anakin who had turned around to start toward you two again.

“So, he more than likely is not going to be force sensitive.”

“Right.”

Ben stares at his son who finally reaches his mother. You start to pick up Anakin but Ben picks up the boy instead. Anakin locks eyes with his father. Anakin grins rather goofily. Ben smiles back to Anakin.

“Force wielding or not, I love him and I know he will do amazing things,” Ben decides. You smile and lean against Ben happily.

* * *

Now that the First Order has lost their Supreme Leader to now runaway Kylo Ren, the next in line has become the Supreme Leader. The new Supreme Leader could not be more pleased. He has wanted this for quite some time. Now he is the leader. No one tells him what to do. He is the one who gives the orders. No one can tell him ‘no’ as his word is law. He has been in power for a less than a day but it is still by far the most exquisite day of his life. If his father were still alive, he would have the man bow before him, beg for his life, then kill him. What a pity he already killed the man.

Of course, the new Supreme Leader’s focus must be defeating the Resistance and finding Kylo Ren so he can punish and kill him. The Supreme Leader could imagine what punishment he would like to give Kylo Ren before his execution. Of course, it will be best to capture Kylo Ren and his wife. Yes…it will be a sweet revenge he gets on them.

“Supreme Leader, the scouts found no signs of the Resistance or Kylo Ren on Crait. The tracking on the shuttle Kylo Ren took must have been disengaged,” Lt. Mitaka comes before the leader who sits at a conference table with many of the higher-ranking Admirals.

A sour expression comes over the Supreme Leader’s pointed face. There is nothing that can be done about it now.

“I see. Well, Kylo will expose himself eventually as will the Resistance. Until then, we must increase our control in the galaxy. We should aim to take over the surviving core planets and begin to make a new weapon like on Starkiller Base.”

“But, sir, without the weapon and a leader who can wield the force like Supreme Leader Snoke and Kylo Ren, how can we make planets submit?” A rather young Admiral asks. This irks the new leader. He hates that even now he is being compared to Kylo and all because he does not have the special ability Kylo and Snoke had. He will prove he is just as powerful and ruthless as the others.

“Admiral Tuft, is it?” the leader stands and walks toward the young Admiral.

“Yes, sir.”

“I am more than confident that the galaxy will see our massive army as enough cause to submit to the First Order, especially now that there is a leader in charge who is not known to be a raging homicidal maniac or a falling old man. They will see the Supreme Leader is a level headed and virile man who knows how to control his army even without special powers,” he praises himself.

“But having those powers showed how the Supreme Leader was different from all and could do worse damage than a normal man, sir. And our weapon also made all fear but with it gone-” Tuft will not voicing his concerns.

“Then we will just have to lie about having a second weapon that is ready to unleash havoc!” The highest ranked man in the room snaps at Admiral Tuft. The young admiral sees the anger on the pale face of the leader. He did not mean to upset the man. The leader takes a deep breath then smiles. A smile should ease a person but this one does not.

“And I may not have special powers but I have control over this entire army and I am good shot. I am sure I can prove myself just as fearsome as Snoke.”

“How-” Tuft starts but a blast to his head from the Supreme Leader’s blaster silences the man and strikes fear into the hearts of the other Admirals.

“Does anybody else want to question me or the capability of the First Order to succeed under me?” He keeps the blaster out. All shake their head.

“Good. Now, let’s talk about taking over Corellia,” He holsters his gun and starts back to the head of the table. 

Yes, the new Supreme Leader cannot wield the force but his temper that can now go unchecked is just as dangerous. And thus, the reign of Supreme Leader Armitage Hux begins.

* * *

Although he was practically dragged by his mother to join the meeting of leaders to help plot what to do next, Ben is almost completely ignored by Poe and the other Resistance Leaders. Only when Leia or Luke agree with what Ben says, do the others listen. Ben wants to lash out and yell at the leaders for being childish but doing so will earn him more hate and make him look childish.

“So, who is the new Supreme Leader with Snoke dead?” Someone finally directs a question to Ben that only he can answer.

“I am though I am sure the title has been given to another since I betrayed the First Order and have gone missing. The next in line after me is…” Ben snorts and starts to laugh.

“What’s funny, Ren?” Poe still refers to Ben by his other name.

“General Hux is the next in line,” Ben laughs at the situation realizing he has given the most powerful army in the galaxy to a man he hates. But he knows Hux’s dream coming true will quickly turn into a nightmare.

“The poor bastard won’t last long but as long as he is in control you can bet that he will try to take over as much as he can and rebuild his precious weapon,” Ben continues.

“Why do you think he will not last long?” Leia asks.

“He is an irritating man who is better at taking orders than giving them. A coup will take place once he proves his true unstable and reckless self. He has no way to protect himself as he is not force sensitive and an average shot at best,” Ben critiques the former general. 

“So, should we just wait for a coup before we do anything?” D’Arcy is trying to see what Ben advises.

“No. The First Order is still regrouping and trying to learn what to do under an inexperienced leader. If you can get your allies to come and provide weapons and ships, now will be a good time to take down the First Order,” Ben continues.

“And you want us to do this how?” Poe does not really care about Ben’s reply.

“Well, flyboy-” Ben makes Poe scowl at the nickname. Ben likes the irritation in Poe. He gives a plan that even Poe cannot deny is a good one. Still, Poe keeps his arms crossed and his expression hard. He will not allow Kylo Ren to ever receive anything positive from him.

“I think that is very good plan, Ben,” Luke smiles to his nephew. Ben does not accept the praise or smile. He looks away and toward his mother. Luke loses his smile. He knows he may never earn Ben’s respect or even friendliness again.

“Let’s adjourn of a meal then reconvene,” Leia suggests. The meeting’s members leave but none as quickly as Ben. He wants away from those people and to be with you and Anakin.

Ben finds you with Rey and Finn. The two friends play with Anakin as you look on cheerfully. Finn has come to like the child as it is a part of his best friend. He ignores that it is Kylo Ren’s child. He thinks of Anakin only as your child as does Rey and practically the entire Resistance. Though not all know you they can accept you but they cannot except Kylo Ren. Ben does not really care. He has been rejected before many times. He only cares that you accept him and his mother.

When Ben approaches, Rey and Finn lose their warmth. They look coldly upon Ben who gives them icy looks as well. You are not blind to the animosity.

“I’m going to go find Luke,” Rey stands.

“I’m going to find Poe,” Finn picks another person. The two leave you alone with Anakin and Ben. You come to Ben’s side.

“I’m sorry about them. They just don’t know you like I do,” You do not want him to be offended.

“It’s fine. As long as you are not being influenced by them and they don’t turn my son against me,” Ben goes to take Anakin from your arms. Anakin reaches back toward you though. Ben tries to hold his son close to him but Anakin squirms and reaches for you still. When you do not take him back, he begins to cry.

“Why is he crying? Did I do something wrong?” Ben panics.

“No. No, I think he just isn’t used to someone new holding him,” You reach to take Anakin away. Ben lets Anakin go but frowns. Anakin immediately calms being back in your arms.

“I’m not a stranger. I’m his father. He should be fine with me holding him,” Ben does not understand.

“I know you are his father but Anakin barely knows you. I know he will come to know you and love you as his father but right now you are a new person to him. He needs time to warm up to you and trust you and see you as Daddy,” you can see the disappointment in Ben’s eyes.

“I bet he would not cry if Luke took him from you,” ben thinks on the uncle who has been there with his son from the beginning.

“Honestly, he probably would not. He has known Luke his whole life and he’s known you for a day,” you hate the way this has come out of your mouth especially when anger and hurt replace Ben’s disappointment, “but he cries even when Luke takes him from me. He is _really_ attached to me.”

“And you love that, don’t you?” Ben snips though he knows he should not begrudge you or your child for having a strong bond. He loves that but he is mad.

“Is that wrong? I thought for so long he would be my only piece of you. I wanted him to love me just as much as I love him and you. So, I have absolutely love him preferring me to anyone else,” You feel yourself getting heated. Some passing Resistance members try to keep their eyes forward and not listen to you two.

“I want him to prefer me as well!” Ben does not know why he is raising his voice.

“It is going to take time, Ben. It’s been seven months and-”

“I know it’s been seven months! Fuck, I know it better than anyone else how long is has been. I died everyday these past seven months. Now I have you back and I want to love my son. But he thinks me a fucking stranger. And I know it isn’t you fault. It’s mine. I trusted the wrong person for far too long. I’m just so…” Ben balls his fists in his anger toward himself. You reach out and touch his arm.

“Ben, you didn’t know. It’s okay. And we can work on Anakin bonding with you. I read about it in the book I have. We will figure this out,” You want to encourage him and give him a solution.

Ben takes a deep breath and releases his hands.

“But what if it doesn’t work?”

“It will work. And if it doesn’t then I’ll leave him completely alone with you until he has no choice but attach to you. We will have to that when we find Hanamé. We are going to have to earn her trust and love when we find her. So, this will be good practice, right?” You bring up your other child who is estranged from you both. Ben had momentarily forgotten that neither of you have a true bond with the lost daughter. He instantly does not want you to feel the pain he does now for being a stranger to his own child. But you will have to as will he.

“Let’s go start now. We have a room set up in one of the base houses,” You take Ben’s hand. You two go into one of the old rebel buildings to a small room that has a double bed, a tiny closet and an opening leading to a single person shower, sink and toilet. There has been a small crib also placed in the room. It is definitely not what Ben is used to but it will have to do.

“The book said, to help bond it is good for fathers to help with all aspects of the child’s routine like changing the baby, swaddling the baby, playing with the baby, and feeding the baby. We don’t have any bottles so I have to keep breastfeeding on my own but if you are with me then it will also help. Oh! And one big thing is skin to skin contact. That a big helper!” You remember the book’s tips. 

“Okay,” Ben immediately takes off his shirt. You blush at his sudden removal but enjoy the view.

“I’ll undress Anakin,” you remove his white linen gown that the Lanai made him. They made him so many clothes. You wish you had made some goodbyes to the caretakers but you were in such a rush to leave that you did not even think of them. 

You bring the diapered Anakin to his bare-chested Ben. You have Ben hold Anakin. As Anakin is chilled by the air, he clings to Ben’s warmth. You step back and let the father and son alone.

Ben has one arm under Anakin so he is held in a scoop while his massive hand goes over Anakin’s back so he is pushed toward his father. Anakin does not cry and instead lays his head against Ben’s chest. You see the boy is tired. Ben rests his chin against Anakin’s head. Seeing the man you love with his miniature in his arms, stirs something in you. There is a switch from maternal appreciation of a partner to a sexual desire of a lover. Seeing your husband half naked with a peaceful baby in his arms has cast an unnatural yet totally natural spell over you. You want to be naked against his naked self. You want to be held by him, kissed by him, and absolutely ravished by him.

You know you should not interrupt this bonding time for your own lustful wants. You know what you should do.

“I’m going to go get us some food. You stay with Anakin. Try talking to him or singing. It helps a lot,” You start for the door.

“What if he starts crying?” Ben fears. He looks so cute with the panic in his eyes, but you know it is for naught. You smile.

“You’ll figure it out,” You walk out of the room. You do not hear any crying so you continue down the hall. You hope getting some distance will get you cooled off.

You walk toward the ships where rations are to be distributed. On your way, you sense a familiar someone. You turn a corner and nearly run into Poe.

“Poe!” You gasp and take a step back so you do not run into him.

“Meia,” He smiles seeing you. You are not sure of what to say or do. The last time you spoke with Poe he said you two were not friends and he left you. Now you both are here with the Resistance but you are still married to Ben who you are sure Poe does not like at all.

“I..um…it’s been a while since I saw you last excluding on Crait,” You think of Ansion.

“Yes. That last time we spoke,” Poe grabs your hands earnestly, “I said things I shouldn’t have.”

“You said what you were feeling and it made sense at the time. We were on opposite sides,” You do not want Poe to feel bad.

“Still…I did not mean to hurt you,” Poe apologizes, ”and when I learned that you died, I thought I’d never get to apologize. But you are alive so…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Poe. I forgive you. I could only imagine how it must have felt like to see me again only to learn I married your enemy,” You try to keep considering his feelings.

“But now you are on the same side as me and-” Poe pauses, “and _he_ is on our side now too.”

You know ‘he’ is Ben.

“Yes, we are all on the same side now. So we can all be friends now, right?” You want to end this animosity between Poe and Ben.

“ _We_ can be friends,” Poe smiles.

“Please, include Ben. I know he did a lot against your other friends but he is here now and he is not Kylo Ren anymore. He’s Ben Solo.”

Poe drops your hands and his smile.

“He didn’t just do things against my friends. He tortured _me_ , Meia. He _tortured_ me,” Poe makes shiver go down your spine. Ben tortured Poe?

“When?”

“Before the destruction of Starkiller Base. He interrogated and tortured me in hopes of finding out where the missing map piece to find Luke Skywalker was.”

You know this is more than likely true.

“How did he…torture you?” You wonder what really went down not that you don’t believe Poe.

“He used the force while trying to read my mind. It was more excruciating than being tased. Then he started to tell me these horrible things about you and then he told me you were dead and I…it was too much,” Poe closes his eyes thinking to the past event. “I still don’t know how he knew.”

“Knew what?”

Poe opens his eyes.

“That I…I was in love with you.” 

You blush at the confession of his feelings. You did not know he was in _love_ with you. You thought he might like you some but mostly as a friend. But he loved you?

“That’s why he started telling me these gross, perverse lies about you to riel my anger and to make me feel like shit.”

What did Ben say to him? You wonder.

“But I didn’t break till he told me you died. I know now from my conversations with Rey and Finn that everyone thought you were dead including him. So, I know he wasn’t lying about that at the time. Still, it was all fucked up. And still, I can’t forgive him or be his friend. He will always be Kylo Ren to me.”

You frown hearing this though you can understand. You reach out and touch Poe’s arm.

“I’m sorry for what he did. I can’t make you forgive him or see him as I do. I could spend the rest of my life telling you how he is not the monster in your mind but I can’t make you view him differently. That is up to you. I just ask that you don’t let your hate for him consume to the point you can’t do anything but hate.”

Tender eyes and soft smile, Poe listens to your selfless request. Damn. Why did you have to still be kind?

“I won’t. Besides, I will not give him the satisfaction of letting him get to me again no matter what he calls me or tells me about you,” Poe is determined.

Seriously? What did Ben say about me? You really want to know.

“Good. I hope one day you two will get pass your differences,” You keep your hand on his arm. You feel and hear your stomach rumble. Poe also hears the noise.

“Hungry?”

“Yes. I’m actually headed to get food for me and Ben,” You finally remember your mission.

“Oh? Where is Ren?” Poe looks for your husband

“ _Ben_ is with Anakin,” You emphasize the change in name.

“Right. I’ve heard of the boy. I have yet to see him up close though. I hope he favors you,” Poe intends to compliment you.

“You will be disappointed then. He takes entirely after his father in the looks department,” You are pleased with this though.

“Oh, and what about the twin? Is another boy? I have not seen a trace of another child.”

“The twin is a girl but…she was taken away by Snoke. I haven’t seen her since I gave birth so…” You share the sad detail that makes Poe’s cheeks color in embarrassment for making you relive this.

“I’m so sorry, Meia. I didn’t know. I’m-”

“It’s okay. I’m going to find her. It will just take some time,” You still do not Poe’s to feel bad.

“Do you have any idea where she could be?”

“No. But I’m sure once we defeat the First Order and gain control over their intelligence of bases, we will be able to locate her.” You remain hopeful.

“I am sure you will. I’ll help in anyway you need,” Poe offers his aid.

“Thank you, Poe,” You hug him. Poe relishes the feel of your body against his yet it does not feel as it once did. He does not feel a spark like he once did. But he still likes it.

“I’m going to get some food now. I’ll talk to you later,” You leave Poe who lets you go.

You retrieve some rations and head back to your assigned room. You reach the door and wonder what you will see behind it. Will Ben still be holding Anakin? Will Anakin be crying? Will Ben be frustrated with the crying baby?

You open the door and walk inside. Anakin is a sleep in the cradle next to the bed intended for you and Ben to share. Ben is still shirtless and sitting on the bed watching his son. With your entrance he stands and approaches you.

“How long has he been a sleep?” You hand Ben his ration but look to Anakin.

“A few minutes. Thank you for getting this,” Ben opens his pouch. He sits on the bed and you with him. Ben grimaces as he tastes the bitter goop inside. He says nothing though and downs the substance as do you. He takes the trash and tosses into the trash in the bathroom.

“I haven’t had something that bad since…Hoth,” Ben recalls. You giggle.

“Yes. Well, I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to it,” You knows this will be most probable.

“Hm…” Ben nods still facing forward toward Anakin’s crib but his eyes glance to you. You see a smirk growing on his face.

“What’s that look for?” You ask.

“You know, I know something that might get rid of this taste in my mouth. Something that is so much tastier,” Ben turns his body fully and puts his hands on either side of you. You face him and lean backward. You see a predatory look in his dark eyes.

“OH? What is that?” You hope it is what you think it is. Ben keeps leaning till you lean so far you fall on your back. He is atop you now on the bed. His tongue barely peaks out and lips moistens the center of them. Your heart begins to race. Him being half naked and this close is enough to get your blood and juices pumping. You known you two made love in the throne room but it was quick and desperate. Now, you want him to take his time and you want to explore and play with each other’s bodies. Ben feels the same. He wants to take his time with you and discover every new and old mark on your body. He wants to see, feel, and taste your transformed body.

As much as you want him, you do fear he will not like the changes of your body. You have the reminding marks of pregnancy. Will he like that?

Hesitancy, insecurity and doubt come into your eyes. Ben sees this.

Ben begins to wonder as he has since after hearing you gasp on the ship, are his scars unattractive? Is he no longer your handsome husband you adore? Will you be grossed out by his scars? Is that why you lean away now?

Insecurity comes in his eyes as well. Still he wants you.

“I want-”

Knock. Knock.

You two look at the door. Ben gets off you and you sit up. You go to answer the door while Ben puts his shirt back on him.

“Yes?” You open the door. D’Arcy is there.

“Solo, we need you for our meeting,” She looks to Ben. He nods and heads for the door.

“I’ll come back later,” He passes you. You have to watch him walk away. You hate this missed opportunity but also this might give you a chance to shower and prepare your body for him for later. Yes, you will use this time to have a proper shower and get ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started back to work so my updates will be a bit slower. Thank you all for your patience!


	129. A Possibility

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments, kudos and patience! You are all so wonderful! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 129

You towel off having finally bathed in an actual shower and not an ocean. You try not to look in the mirror as you put back on the white dress you took off before the shower. You do not want to look at your flaws. You want to focus on the positives of your body like that you have returned to the weight you were before you got pregnant. Yes, that is a positive. And you have had sex with Ben since your reunion. Yes, you were not even undressed but doesn’t that mean you can still get him aroused with your clothes on? If he does not like your body now, you can cover it up like before and proceed that way. Still, you would rather be fully unclothed and yourself with him.

Coming into the bedroom. You see Anakin in the crib. You had almost forgotten your child was in the room. With Anakin in the bedroom, will you be able to have sex? Is it weird if you and Ben have sex in the bed next to the cradle? If Anakin is a sleep then he would not know what Mama and Daddy are doing, right? But what if Anakin wakes up and sees you and Ben fucking! It would be traumatizing for the little darling! No. You two cannot have sex with Anakin in the room. You will not risk traumatizing him just so you can have you brain fucked out by the man you love.

But…if Anakin were with someone else in a different room, you and Ben would be free to do as you please without the possibility of mentally scarring your child. But who do you trust to watch your child through the night and would Anakin even be able to go the whole night without wanting a feeding? He has been sleeping longer lately but who knows if he would be able to…It is a shame you are not on Enarc with all your baby supplies. You had bottles and pumps there so you could get your breastmilk in the bottles so anyone could feed him if and when you were not able to feed him or if Ben wanted to feed him. You must make do with your current situation.

You suppose you can trust Luke to care for Anakin as he has often on the island. But Ben might not be a big supporter of trusting his son with Luke. You would have him stay with Leia but Anakin barely knows the woman. He barely knows anyone but you and Luke. It would be good for him to adjust to others especially Leia. You will have to see if she is willing to do it. She might find the idea of waking up suddenly to a crying baby unpleasant. But it is _her_ grandchild so should not she be willing to help.

Until you figure all this Anakin babysitting out, you will have to put having sex with Ben on hold. It might not be hard for him as he might not be interested in your body anymore…

In the war room where the leaders of the Resistance are meeting, Ben wants nothing more than to leave the meeting so he can spend time with his wife. More specifically he wants to spend kissing, licking, sucking, caressing, nuzzling, and exploring his wife’s body. If this meeting ends soon then maybe he will get back in time for some fun before Anakin wakes. But the meeting does not seem to be going by quickly at all.

Seeing the light diminishing outside, Ben knows his time with you is diminishing as well. Anakin is probably awake and by the time he gets back the boy will more than likely be a sleep again and you will ready to sleep as well. But he could always wake you up with kisses and maybe a poke or two from his not so little friend. But then again you might not want to have night time fun. You did look at him with such reservation earlier. Is it the scars?

Ben glances at Poe who stands across the table from him. Yes, the pilot is short but his face is unscarred and his body is probably unmarred as well. Thought Ben knows you do not love Poe, he cannot stop himself from the knowledge that you may be attracted to Poe. Will you look more to Poe now? Will Poe become your fantasy man?

If only he had blocked Rey’s blade, he would still be the “princely” man you lusted for desperately. He would repay Rey for her work, but doing so would only upset you and the rest of the Resistance.

A few members yawn either behind their hands or out in the open for all to see and hear. It is getting late.

“We have had a long day,” Leia relates to her fellow rebels. They nod agreeing with her. “But we have gotten much work done especially with Ben’s list of established and secret First Order bases.”

Leia smiles at Ben for his help. He just nods to her. He likes the praise from his mother but he wants his wife not his mother at this time.

“We should be getting some reinforcements tomorrow from our contacts on Thakwaa. Then Poe, I want you and few other pilots to go to Ahakista and connect with Dob Fante to help us get what we need to replace what we have lost ship and weapon wise,” Leia looks to Poe.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Poe agrees.

“Then let’s all part for the night and meet when our friends from Thakwaa come,” Leia decides. With the meeting adjourn, Ben could run out to go back to you and hope you will at least bear the scars so you two can have some naughty fun.

“Will you wait a moment, Ben?” Leia comes and blocks her son from his destination. He nods and steps aside. He does not want to disappoint his mother.

He sees all leave except his mother and Luke. He resists rolling his eyes at the possible intervention they might try to have. He stands quietly waiting for them to speak.

“Ben, there is something we need to talk about,” Leia steps toward Ben. The last time his mother said this to him, she shipped him off to be with Luke.

“What is it?”

“Luke and I have been talking and…”

The deja vu is sickening. This sentence better not end with him being sent away with Luke again.

“He has informed me of Meia’s visions of Hanamé being with some Snoke supporters somewhere far away,” Leia makes Ben relax some but the topic is not a relaxing one.

“I was thinking,” Luke steps up and starts, “that we should pinpoint what planet it could be. Did Snoke ever talk of another secret base or his homeworld?”

Ben pauses to think. Every place Snoke spoke of was a place that existed and was able to be found on a map.

“No. Snoke never mentioned another base or homeworld,” Ben shakes his head, “Snoke never spoke of anywhere special. The only place that was remotely special was your undisclosed planet. And the home of the Sith. But the home of the Sith does not exist anymore.”

“Wait. The home of the Sith? Why would he talk of that place?” Luke’s eyes grow more and more interested.

“He promised that once the Resistance was defeated, he would teach me the secrets of how to bring the dead back to life. He mentioned going to the home of the Sith. But I know that place does not exist anymore and he must have been speaking figuratively,” Ben explains.

“The secrets of how to bring the dead back to life?” Leia repeats the part of interest to her.

“yes, I thought…”Ben says your name, your true name, “was dead and the twins. So Snoke promised he would show me the way to bring them back. Then I thought I could bring Dad back too when I…”

Luke repeats your true name. “Who is that?”

“Meia,” Ben makes the connection for them, “She has many names but that is her true name.”

“You thought you would learn how to bring them all back to life?” Leia focuses on the promise.

“Yes. That’s why I thought when I killed Dad that I could bring him back,” Ben looks to the ground and not to his mother. Leia feels a tear in her eye but it does not release. There is some relief in her to know her son wanted Han to come back to life. Luke also is surprised by Ben’s motivation. Form what he learned of his father, it was a similar goal.

“But Snoke lied to me as he always had. There is no way to bring people back from the dead and there is no home of the Sith,” Ben speaks bitterly.

“But there is a home of the Sith,” Luke pipes up.

“What?” Ben and Leia look to Luke.

“The home of the Sith is a real place. It is just hidden away. I remember reading about it in the Jedi texts. It’s called…” Luke pauses as he needs to remember the name of the planet, “Exegol!”

“Exegol?” the mother and son repeat.

“Yes, Exegol. But it will be nearly impossible to find without a wayfinder,” Luke thinks more on the planet. He grabs his chin and paces as he does.

“And where could we find a wayfinder?” Leia is the one to ask.

“Well…the Emperor probably had a connection to it as he was _the_ Sith Lord. Since father was his apprentice he probably knew of Exegol as well. So, if anyone had a wayfinder it would have been father. But he would have kept it near him but secure,” Luke turns on his heel to look at his nephew and sister.

“He would have had one on the Death Star then. But that has long since been destroyed,” Leia brings up the most likely spot.

“But he could have kept it on Mustafar. That was Darth Vader’s domain wasn’t it?” Ben’s obsession with his grandfather proves helpful.

“It would probably still be there with those crazed Vader fanatics,” Leia starts to smile.

“Yes. If we get enough fuel for the Millennium Falcon tomorrow, then we could go to Mustafar tomorrow,” Luke plans.

“I will go to Mustafar alone,” Ben pops Luke’s bubble of excitement.

“What? No. You will not go alone to-” Leia speaks against Ben’s plan.

“I will go alone. You have to stay here, Mom, with the Resistance and I am not putting my trust in that man ever again,” Ben does not even call Luke by a name.

“I know I wronged you in the past, Ben. I’m sorry for that. I truly am. But it will be better with more people on your side fighting the Mustafarians,” Luke makes his apology and case. Though many hands make light work, Ben is more than hesitant to accept the aid of his uncle.

“No.” Ben turns to walk away.

“I’m sure if I brought this issue up to your wife she would disagree with you,” Luke brings you up. Ben stops. He glares back at his uncle.

“Don’t bring her into this. She does not need anymore stress,” Ben thinks of you so delicately.

“Meia will be more than upset if you take off without at least her to go find the way to find Hanamé,” Luke is absolutely right and Ben knows it.

“She needs to stay somewhere safe with Anakin,” Ben thinks of the safety of his wife and child.

“Meia will only help you. She is very strong in the force,” “Luke praises you.

“I know that!” Ben is annoyed that Luke acts as if he does not know his own wife, “But she must take care of Anakin.”

“I can care for Anakin. I would to spend time with my grandson. You can take Meia with you then,” Leia figures then corrects herself on calling you Meia by repeating the last phrase with your true name. Ben considers the offer. You would be much happier if you could go with him.

“Then I will just take her and that’s it,” Ben decides.

“I think it would be better if you take Luke and maybe some others,” Leia tries to insist.

“No. No one else,” Ben refuses. Leia takes a breath. She does not want to fight with her son after finally getting him back. Still, she finds it foolish not to take Luke and maybe some others with him.

“Ben, please, listen to me. It will be best to take someone else in addition to you two. If not Luke, then Chewie. He is a great fighter and can fly the Millennium Falcon as well as your father,” Leia suggests Ben’s favorite uncle figure.

“I am not quite sure that Chewie would want to be help me,” Ben’s side gains a pain recalling the shot inflicted there by the Wookie.

“Chewie loves you, Ben. He would be more than happy to help you,” Leia knows not about the shot. Ben would tell her but it would only upset her.

“You can ask Chewie but I doubt he will agree to go,” Ben puts the responsibility in his mother’s hands.

“I will then.”

“Good. Unless you need anything else, I’m going to go back to my wife and son,” Ben excuses himself and leaves his mother and uncle.

Ben needs to get back to you. He needs to tell you of this news. You will be so excited to know there is a lead on finding Hanamé. Maybe your excitement will also allow you to turn a blind eye to the scars and make love to him.

Ben reaches the room door. He knocks politely despite it being his own room. You answer the door and smile seeing him.

“You’re back,” you whisper cheerfully.

“Is Anakin asleep?” Ben notices your whispering and the darkness of the room.

“Yes. So, we should be very quiet,” You take his hand and brings him into the room. You turn on the bathroom light so there is some light that allows you two to see to remove your shoes and belts. You get into the bed on the side closest to Anakin’s crib. Ben turns off the bathroom light before getting into the bed with you.

“Sweetheart,” He slides his arms around your waist. You turn on your side so you can look at his face since your eyes have adjusted to the dark. You love the pet name.

“Yes?”

“I have some good news.”

“Oh?”

“We may have found a way to find Hanamé.”

“Really?” You yelp elated by the possibility that you will find your daughter then lower you voice so not to wake Anakin.

“Yes. After talking it out with Luke and Mom, we have figured that she might be on the Sith planet Exegol. But we have to find a wayfinder before we can get there.”

“But how will we find a wayfinder?”

“You and I will go to Mustafar in the Millennium Falcon. The wayfinder may be hidden there. Then we can go to Exegol and get Hanamé.”

Your heart quickens at the likelihood of getting your daughter. But you have heard of Mustafar and of the zealots who live there. Ben told you of them long ago. If there is anything there connected to Vader or the Sith, it will not be easily taken. And if you two get to Exegol who knows you will have to face before you get your daughter back. Though you and Ben defeated Snoke and his guards, there will be more than them at these places. They will need help. Luke can help! Luke, Chewie, Rey…they can all help!

“Oh, Ben,” You wrap your arms around him and hold him close in a hug, “When do we get to go?”

“As soon as the aid to the Resistance returns and we get fuel for the Falcon. You and I will go while Mom takes care of Anakin,” Ben likes the feeling of your body pressed against him.

“Luke, Chewie, and Rey will be coming with us, right?” You bring up your allies. Ben loosens his hold and pulls back slightly.

“What?”

“We are going to need some help, Ben. All are good fighters, you know that. They will only help us,” You explain your thoughts. He frowns. You sound like his mother. Why can’t you just go with him alone? Why do you have to unintentionally agree with his mother and uncle’s suggestions?

“Is something wrong, Ben?” You do not like his silence.

“No,” he sighs. He supposes he will give into your reasoning and bring along _those_ people. He pulls you close again. Your head goes just beneath his chin so your forehead rests against his collarbone. You enjoy his warmth.

“I am so glad, Ben. I cannot wait to Hanamé back in our arms,” you relax in his arms and in your hope of the future.

“I feel the same.”

Ben inhales your hair. You do not smell like Tarisian Rose. You just smell like soap but he can still smell you underneath it. He still feels your body against him. He can feel the shape of your breasts pressed against him and your leg that has hooked itself over his hip to keep him close. It is dark so you cannot see his scars and Anakin is asleep so…

You stop breathing for a second as you feel the not so small Ben pressing against you. In the dark he cannot see your flaws so it is no wonder to you that he aroused. But you cannot give in to your wants. You will not risk Anakin’s innocence. You force a yawn.

“I am so sleepy, Ben,” You lie.

“Oh…really?” He cannot hide his disappointment. He assumes that even in the dark the scars are too much.

“Yeah…and we should get our rest if we are going to Mustafar soon, right?” You bring up a valid reason to sleep.

“Yes…” Ben has to agree with this logic as well.

“Goodnight, Ben,” You kiss his chest.

“Goodnight,” he kisses the top of your head.

You both lie in the bed with an urge that has to be suppressed. Ben tries to think of anything but you to get it out of his mind while you make yourself think of Anakin and why you will not give into your desires right now.


	130. On the Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all so much for your comments, kudos and most of all your patience. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 130

There are three reasons why Chewie has accepted to go to Mustafar. Firstly, Leia asked him to do so. Chewie knows he can say ‘no’ to the general. He has every reason to say ‘no’ to spending time with the man who killed his best friend, the man who caused his best friends so much pain these past many years. He would have said ‘no’ but Leia asked so earnestly for his help. She also gave him some insight into the truth of the man who killed Han Solo.

“He believed a lie Snoke told him. He believed he could bring those who died back to life. He believed he would be able to bring Han back to life. He believed the wrong person and acted wrongly. He knows this and I have seen the pain it causes him. He is remorseful. And he has sought my forgiveness. I have given it. I hope you can give it too,” Leia told him when they were alone.

In truth forgiving Ben was both the hardest and easiest thing for Chewie to do. The man had done the unforgivable, but Chewie…he loves Ben. He saw it on Ben’s face when he killed Han, ever from the great distance, that there was pain there. He held onto his anger toward Ben but deep down he was not angry but aggrieved that the boy he loves has gone down such a dark path. Now, he is turning back to go on the path that he should not have strayed from. Chewie can forgive Ben because he loves him but only as he sees Ben’s true change and sincere remorse.

The second reason for Chewie to accept the journey, is because this could lead to the lost child. Chewie wants to help you find your daughter. He wants to find the lost and last piece of Han. If his son were lost, he knows Han would go with him to the ends of the galaxy to find Lumpawaroo. Chewie will go to the ends of the galaxy to find Han’s granddaughter. He knows how much Han wanted to his grandchildren and now that he can help get them, Chewie will for Han’s sake.

The final reason Chewie has accepted is because who else knows the Millennium Falcon like him? Yes, Rey has proved to be very knowledgeable of the ship but she has still to learn many of the Falcon’s secrets. Ben does know more of the ship than Rey but not as much as Chewie. And he doubts Rey will want to let the ship out the man she still dislikes unless Chewie was on it to make sure it was stolen away. But Chewie knows Ben is not the type to run away when things get tough. Leia was not a runner and Han…Han might have run a lot but when it mattered most, he would be around. Ben did not leave his parents because things were hard. He left because he was tricked into doing so. But if he is clear on what is true now, Chewie knows Ben will not run away.

Chewie watches the visiting rebel allies who start fueling the Falcon. Rey stands at his side watching as she does not want these people to mess up the ship. His attention is drawn away from the fuelers to the approaching couple. You walk by Ben’s side.

You are more than pleased with the supplies the allies brought to Ajan Kloss. Not only have they brought ship, fuel, food and weapons, they brought clothes, toiletries and per Leia’s special request baby supplies. Ben was rather taken a back when he saw you cry over getting a large box of fresh cloth diapers. The man did not understand that for the past seven months you have had to wash and reuse the cloth diapers on Ach-To. Now your child has fresher cloth diapers, new clothes, toys and bottles. You were even given a pump. You can rest easier on your journey to Mustafar now that you know you can pump before you go so Leia can feed Anakin your breastmilk without you being there. You are also glad to have some new clothes to replace the ones you’ve been wearing for months and the one you got off the Millennium Falcon.

You have changed into a black jumpsuit and black leather boots. It goes well with you belt and lightsaber holster. Ben also changed from his black First Order pants and knit shirt to fresh pair of black pants, a tighter fitting black shirt, and a black leather jacket. He got a new belt with a place for his lightsaber and a blaster. Like the new shirt, his new pants a bit tight. You can see his muscles in his shirt and in his pants you can almost see the outline of his…eminence. Though you hate how he got the scar on his face and how it only serves as a reminded of his lowest moment, you cannot deny that it makes him a tad sexier. He had gained a far more relaxed appearance and damn, you found yourself about to cream yourself when he first came out to you in his new clothes. You controlled yourself, of course.

After you had changed, you had sat to start your hair but Ben came behind you. He took your hair into his hand and started messing with it.

“What are you doing, Ben?” You had askes surprised at his actions.

“I’m just helping you with your hair,” He answered pulling it up into a ponytail while leave some hair to frame your face.

“I can do my own hair,” You did not want to trouble him.

“I know. I just want to do right now,” he did not explain himself. You sat there and let him do his things. As he tugged gently on your hair, you enjoyed the feeling of his finger gripping your hair. You want him to pull harder and grip other parts of your body. But your eyes went to the crib by the bed where Anakin sat playing with a new toy.

“All done,” Ben’s hands left your head. You went to the bathroom for a look. You smiled and admired the high seated pull-through braid. It sort of reminded you of upside down hearts.

“I love it,” You smiled to him as you came back. “Where did you learn to do this?”

“I’ve watched you and I used to watch my mother do her hair,” He revealed his teachers. You come to him and put your hands on his shoulders. You got on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. He turned though so he could steal the kiss for his lips. His arms wrapped around you so you could not pull away or escape. His tongue went into your mouth with no warning. You loved taste of his tongue. You could feel your knees buckling and your want growing. A happy gurgle caught you ear though. Remembering your son’s presence, you pushed away from Ben. He frowned when you did.

“I have to take Anakin to your mother then we need to leave,” You go to pick up Anakin. Ben pressed his lips together but nodded in agreement to the timeline.

You gave Anakin to Leia as well as the bottles you filled and his new items. You met Ben outside. You started for the Millennium Falcon.

“Hello,” you smile to Chewie and Rey when you and Ben come to them. They return the greeting. Chewie’s eyes do not fail to take in Ben’s new attire. He looks so much like his father.

“The ship should be finished fueling in a few minutes,” Rey lets you know which pleases you. You are getting closer to finding Hanamé.

“Great. Where is Luke?” You look for your mentor.

“I’m right here,” Luke walks up behind you and Ben. You smile and give the blond a side hug. Luke lifts a hand to wave to the others then stares at Ben.

“I like the look, Ben,” Luke nods in approval to Ben. The younger man ignores his uncle and goes onto the ship. You know as does Luke that Ben does not want Luke’s opinion or presence. The men who were fueling the ship walk off as Ben goes inside. With them off, you all know the ship is ready to go.

“Rey! Chewie! Meia! Skywalker!” You see Finn running toward the ship.

“Finn, what’s up?” Rey smiles back to him when he comes up.

“I didn’t want you guys to leave without me,” He smiles.

“You are needed here, Finn. You are to help with-” You start to reject Finn’s addition to your team. It not because you do not think him a good fighter, but he is needed here and you do not know how well he will get on with Ben.

“They will be fine without me. I want to come with you all. I can help fight. You know I was trained in combat just like you. I am sure I will only serve as a help,” Finn continues to offer his assistance. His eagerness and earnestness make it hard for you to reject his offer again but are still unsure if he should come along. You know that though Ben accepted to allow Chewie, Rey and Luke come on the trip is almost too much for him. He hates Luke and Rey. You are sure he still dislikes Finn. But would not having more help lead to a speedier victory?

“I will talk to Ben,” You look to the ship.

“Why do you have to ask _him_ for permission? He’s not a commander anymore,” Finn scowls at your hesitancy to accept him. It sort of pisses you off.

“This is _his_ and _my_ mission. We are only taking people we _both_ agree will be a help to us. And honestly, if you are going to be disrespectful to my husband, then maybe I should just reject you now,” You cross your arms over your chest. Finn flushes at you possibly rejecting him.

I cannot believe she is picking her abuser over me. You hear Finn think.

“He is not my abuser, Finn. He never was,” You snap at him out loud.

“I-I didn’t say that aloud,” Finn is stunned at your mind reading. Rey and Chewie both look at you with similar surprise in their eyes.

“Sometimes when people’s minds are unguarded that can be read or heard by force wielders,” Luke informs the little group. Immediately, Rey, Chewie and Finn bring their hands to their heads as if that will keep you and Luke from reading their minds.

“If you are going to be on this ship with such a hateful attitude toward my husband, I will not have you with us,” You start to walk away but Finn grabs your arm. You look back at him.

“Meia…I’m sorry but I can’t help hating him. He _is_ Kylo Ren. It was his orders that caused so much destruction and he almost killed me and Rey. He killed his own father. And he used to…rape you,” Finn gives his perspective on your husband.

“He never raped me, Finn. That was just a theory you came up with on your own. I always consented to be with him. I have always loved him. I know he killed Han and attempted to kill you, Rey and the entire Resistance. But he has changed. He is truly remorseful over the killing of his father and he wants to help the Resistance. Just as you abandoned the First Order, he has. He did more damage than you did but that does not mean he cannot be forgiven and redeemed from his actions like you. I know it is easier for me and Leia to forgive Ben as we love him, but I know holding on to your hate for him will only hurt _you_ more. You don’t have to forgive him for all he has done. That is your choice. And it is my choice if I want you to come and so I am choosing not to bring you with us today,” You pull your arm out of Finn’s hold. He and the others listened to your little speech. They stand and watch you go inside.

Entering, you see Ben just inside the ship. You stop walking. You wonder if he heard you speaking to Finn. You sort of hope he did not as you do not want him to know of the hate Finn has for him.

“Ben, I thought you would be further in the ship.”

“I was but then I came to check on you.”

“Oh…Well, I’m here now,” you smile. Ben steps forward and wraps his arms around you. He pulls you close against him. You are surprised by the hug but return it. He pulls away.

“I am going to go to the Cockpit and check on everything there,” He turns and walks away. Rey, Luke and Chewie come on board.

“Finn could have been an asset on this trip,” Luke puts his hand on your shoulder as you two start for the main hold and the other two start for the cockpit.

“I know but I don’t want anymore added animosity on this ship. Ben didn’t say it but he is not pleased that so many are coming with us now,” You share with Luke.

“I figured.”

“But I think we will all do well together, don’t you agree?” You want him to agree.

“We will,” Luke nods.

You two take a seat near the holochess table. Luke smiles looking at the table. He remembers his first time playing dejarik against Chewie on this ship. Chewie was not a fair player. He doubts that the Wookie has changed.

Rey surprises the two of you by coming into the main hold. She plops herself down across from you and Luke. She sighs deeply.

“Why are you back here? Shouldn’t you be flying the ship?” Luke asks.

“Chewie asked me earlier to let Kylo-I mean…Solo fly the ship today. So, I’m staying back here with you,” Rey answers.

Chewie wanted Ben to fly the ship? You hope this is a sign that Chewie will forgive Ben.

“Well, if you are going to be back here, maybe we can use this time to train,” Luke suggests making Rey’s hazel eyes sparkle.

“Really?”

“Yes. I suppose the Jedi ways don’t have to completely die,” Luke glances at you. You smile. You sit and watch as Luke begins his lesson with his new padawan.

In the cockpit, Ben and Chewie start the ship so that they will be able to take off as soon as possible. It takes Ben a moment to remember which switches do what but the memory returns with Han’s guiding voice in his head.

The ship starts off then when high enough it shoots into lightspeed in the direction of Mustafar. Ben and Chewie are silent as they fly. There is an awkwardness in the cockpit. How could there not be? These two have not been alone in a room together since Ben was a literal boy.

“Thank you for agreeing to come with us on this trip,” Ben breaks the silence and speaks directly to his once favored “uncle” for the first time.

Chewie nods his head silently.

“I know I’m not your favorite person anymore and I…I fucked up in the most unforgivable way,” Ben acknowledges his fault, “I didn’t-it doesn’t matter what I thought at the time. I did the wrong thing. You were right to shoot me. I hold no anger against you for it. But I know forgiving me won’t be possible. Still, it means so much to me and my wife for you to help us.”

Chewie looks to Ben who has kept his eyes on the blurred stars they skip through. He reaches out and grabs Ben’s shoulder. Ben’s head turns so he can see his furry godfather. A low and hushed growl comes from the Wookie. It earns a smile and breath of relief from Ben.

“Thank you, Uncle Chewie,” Ben calls the Wookie as he used to do. Now, both in the cockpit can relax a tad more on this rather long journey across the galaxy to Mustafar.


	131. In Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos. You guys are the best. With this chapter this story has officially become the length of NINE novels. Woo! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 131

Your day has been spent watching Rey learn the ways of the Jedi from Luke. Ben and Chewie spent the day together flying. You only interacted with Ben and Chewie when you brought them some food and tea. That was all. But as the ship comes close to Cuyacan and thus halfway to your destination, Luke decides to end his lesson with Rey. Apparently, teaching has put a big drain on Luke’s energy. He retires to the crew quarters to sleep. Rey on the other hand is super invigorated. Sleep is no where on her radar.

Ben walks back into the main hold while he rubs his face. He yawns and you can see he is sleepy.

“You alright, Ben?” You get up and cross the room to him.

“I’m just tired. We may have to land on Cuyacan for a few hours so we can all sleep,” Ben gives the plan.

“I can fly if you and Chewie want to sleep. I’m not sleepy at all,” Rey stands up eagerly. Ben considers rejecting the offer.

“It would be good to be fresh in case we have to fight when we arrive. And Rey can rest when you are ready to fly,” You want Ben to accept Rey’s idea.

“I guess that wouldn’t be bad. You can relieve Chewie if you want to then,” Ben agrees to Rey’s plan. Rey nods and heads for the cockpit. This leaves you and Ben alone for the first time in hours. He yawns again and stretches his arms as he does. You stare at his chest since his shirt grows tighter around it as he moves. You can see the outline of his eight pack. You want to lift his shirt up and looks directly at his abs. You want to rub your hands over every muscle and feel his body against yours. Ben catches your eyes on him. He knows by your gaze what you want. Brings his arm around you and brings you close against him. You lean into his hold on purpose so you can feel his body more. He enjoys the feel of your breasts pushed against him. You lick your lips and lock your eyes with Ben’s.

“I guess we will be in the second hold room,” He brings up the room you two previously had stayed with Anakin. Does he intend to have some pre-sleep fun? You start to grin then remember what is in the second hold.

“Actually, they stored extra fuel in there so it will be harder to get to the futon,” you lose your grin. Ben’s face also falls with the information.

“Ah…so we will have to sleep in the crew quarters,” Ben thinks of the other sleeping place and loosens his hold on you.

“Yes…” You step out of his fallen arms.

“I guess we will just sleep then,” Ben tries not to frown.

“I guess so.”

“You two head to the crew quarters. You know Luke is already asleep in there. There are faint lights under the beds that give some light to the room. Ben picks the bed in the room that his parents often shared. He cannot take Chewie’s bed since the Wookie will be coming soon. You sit on the bed and remove your boots and belt as Ben removes his boots, belt and jacket. He puts his items in the closet next to the bed before taking your items to put in the closet as well.

“Inside or outside?” Ben asks you and gestures to the bed.

“When have I have ever asked for outside?” You giggle. Ben knows exactly what you are referencing. He rolls his eyes and purses his lips to keep from laughing at the rather dumb remark.

“Go in first then.”

You lift the blanket and get in the bed. You scoot close to the wall. Ben gets in beside you. Beneath the blanket, Ben pulls you close to him. You wish Luke were not in the room. Then the two you could…do something.

Hearing Chewie comes into the room and get in the bed nearest to yours and Ben’s, you know you two can do nothing. You two would get caught after all.

“Sleep well, Ben,” You bid your husband. He exchanges the same sentiment and holds you closer.

You close you eyes in hopes of falling asleep. Alas, it alludes you for what seems like hours. It is hard to sleep when all you want is to be rawed by your husband who is holding you. But he has fallen asleep.

Your eyes have adjusted in the dark but Ben has turned on his side away from you in his sleep so you do not see his face. Even so his face is clear in your mind’s eye even the rather sexy scar. You feel his back against your arm. You want to feel more of him. You want to feel more of him though. You want to feel his body on and in yours. You want so feel his hands, his mouth, and his cock. You want him, all him right now. But you cannot wake him when he purposefully came to bed so he could sleep. And Chewie is asleep in a bunk near you two as is Luke. Still, you can imagine having your want filled.

You unzip your bodysuit just enough that you can start to push it down and shimmy it to your knees. You lick your forefinger and middle one. You spread your thighs enough that you can reach your clit. You close your eyes and conjure Ben above you. Your fingers are not yours. They are Ben’s.

You bite your lip as your fingers add just the right pressure and movement to send little burst into your pelvis. You bring a hand to your breast to play with your nipple. You know exactly how much Ben loves your nipples. He would want to play there. He has such an obsession with sucking your tits and even though he has yet to play with them since before the twins were born, you would not deny him access of a taste of Anakin’s preferred beverage.

You want Ben’s lips on your tits then on your clit. You want his lips planting kisses on every inch of your skin. You want your lips on every part of his body. You want to stare into those fathomless brown eyes as you two cum. Fuck. You want to cum. You are going to cum.

A hand grabs your lowered one as your name is spoken. You open your eyes and see the one grabbing you is Ben. You blush.

“Ben,” You whisper.

“Are you masturbating?” He asks though you both know the answer. You nod your head. He tuts his tongue and does not let go of your hand. You wish he would so you can finish but you also hope this means he will finish you off.

“You shouldn’t do such things, especially in full crew sleeping room like this. Someone could see or hear,” Ben admonishes you though his tone is not harsh at all.

“I…I was just really…” You cannot even say.

“Horny?” He finishes the sentence for you.

You nod.

“And you wanted to satisfy yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Even though I was right next to you?” He tries to hide the hurt in his voice. It is sad to know your wife would rather touch herself than fuck you.

“I didn’t want to wake you since you wanted to rest before flying in the morning or I would have,” You try to explain.

“You would have?” Do you really desire him?

“Yes. Ben, I want you so badly,” You whine in quiet tones. Ben smirks to himself.

“Well, you should have told me. Masturbating in a room full of men is just…shameful,” Ben scolds you though his tone is teasing. Your cheeks still darken.

“I suppose I should punish you for acting so reckless,” Ben brings his mouth to your ear. A shiver runs over your body and your nipples harden on their own. A punishment would be delectable.

“Should we go to another room so you can punish me?” You suggest.

“No.”

“No?” What does he mean by ‘no’? Ben gets above you and you hear him unzip his new pants. He lowers himself so he is pressed against you. You missed the weight of his body but your heart is raising at his intention to stay in the room.

“Ben, we can’t…not in here. They are sleeping,” You feel his force magically remove your jumpsuit entirely from your body. His hand goes between your uncovered legs and you spread to accommodate him. You feel his hot hardness pressed against you. You are hesitant though.

“Ben, we can’t here…” You say again.

“You thought it was fine to masturbate in secret here with everyone. So now, we’re going to fuck in here with everyone and you have to keep it a secret. I mean it. Don’t make a sound,” Ben decides on his punishment. 

“But Ben,” you start to protest but his massive hand goes over you mouth.

“Keep quiet. You don’t want to wake everyone do you?”

You shake your head.

“Good girl,” He removes his hand from your mouth. He gives your neck kisses as he moves his face down to your breasts. He takes your right breast into his mouth as his hand goes to your left breast. You instantly bite your lower lip as he starts to suckle. His lips are secure around the peak and teeth purposefully graze it. You feel your milk leaking out into his mouth and onto his other hand. You could almost handle the suckling but his free hand goes down between your thighs and reintroduce itself to your ignored clit.

You inhale sharply. Ben stops his movements and looks up to your face.

“Shhhh,” He gives you a little warning. You nod and press your lips together. You have to keep quiet. You want him to keep going.

Ben switches breasts. His fingers begin to dance between your clit and slipping into your folds. You throat want to free your moans and gasps. You want to call him by his name and verbally encourage him to continue. But you cannot. You cannot make a sound. You cannot let him stop.

Ben’s mouth leaves your breasts and begins to kiss down your torso. As he nears your belly, you suddenly remember your stretch marks. You tense btu relax. He cannot see them in the dark. He takes his hand away from your throbbing womanhood but you have no time to be disappointed when he replaces it with his mouth. You grip his hair as his lips encircle your pearl and his tongue flicks it.

“Ben,” you gasp. He pulls away.

“Shut the fuck up or I’m stopping,” He warns. You cover your mouth with your own hand. You want-no-need him to continue. His mouth returns to your treasure trove. He brings his fingers to plunder your folds as he returns to making out with your clitoris.

With toes curling with your orgasm, you bite down on your hand to keep from crying out. Ben eagerly imbibes the liquid you release. You lower your hand panting as you try to regain yourself. Ben crawls back up you so his face is above yours. Your cum drips from his chin onto your face.

“Turn over,” he whispers his order. You roll beneath him. You spread your legs once more. He starts to make a trail of kisses that start at your neck then go down your spine. He kisses back up and upon reach your head, he kisses your ear. You feel his body weighing yourself down keeping you trapped between him and the bed. His cock is put in position to enter you. You are more than ready but he just rubs his tip against your swollen slit and dripping folds.

“Do you want it?” he traces your ear with his tongue.

“Yes,” You are still sure to keep quiet.

“Are you sure?” He has to keep teasing you.

“And you won’t make a sound?” He checks once more.

“Yes, Master,” You give him authority and consent. Ben stops his teasing. He pushes inside as he bites your ear. You bite down on your pillow to keep from yelping. Ben chuckles knowing you are trying your hardest to silence yourself.

He draws his hips out slowly and pushes them back in just as slowly. He wants to be inside your as long as he can. You love the feel of his cock stretching you to fit him again and the amount of time it takes him to move so you are filled by him most of the action. You have not changed your mind about wanting to be forever penetrated by him. You want to forever be one with him.

Ben begins to move his hips faster to build some delicious friction between your bodies. He keeps his mouth at your ear allowing you to hear his unsteady breathing and his own little groans and gasps. Hearing him struggle only increases your pleasure as you know you are giving him pleasure. He starts to whisper your name while he speeds up even more.

You grope the mattress feeling his tip giving you cervix a smooch. It is all you can do to not make a single sound. Ben can feel your walls clenching and signaling the closeness of your second orgasm.

“You’re squeezing me so tight. Your cunt is begging for me to spill all of my cum into you. You want me to cum inside, don’t you?” His voice is quiet but shaky. He is so close. You nod your head as to speak now, he will stop.

“Then I’ll give you what you want. I’ll give my good girl her reward,” He pants. His mouth goes to your neck and suck as he thrusts harder. Your lips start to part on their own to let out. Hearing your mouth leak the faintest of noises, Ben brings his hand up to cover your mouth. You must be silent. His fingers curl into your cheeks and successful muffle your cry as your body shudders with your second orgasm. With the rush of your cum encasing his cock, Ben bites down on your neck as he releases himself into you. Ben removes his teeth and suck the flesh he marked as he releases your mouth. He pulls away and takes himself out of you so he can lay on his side next to you. You turn onto your side so you can look at him in the darkness.

You pull him by his shirt closer to you. He wraps his arms around you. You start to speak but realize he has already fallen asleep. He must really tired. You snuggle against him and will not attempt to wake him again. You close your eyes and finally get to sleep yourself. You are blissfully unaware that despite your best efforts to remain silent, the Wookie in the bunk near yours, heard almost everything. It is not the first time he has heard a Solo man have intercourse in a bunk next to him. Of course, when Solo and his lady love had been copulating, it was Leia who had been the teasing her lover. All day Chewie thought of the phrase “like father, like son” but now he thinks more of “like mother, like son”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Hitmewithbrick for the suggestion of getting caught and punished. I hope you and everyone enjoyed it. :) I love smutty suggestions1 Sadly, I can't take all of them especially as I intend to bring this story to an end relatively soon. But thank you all! You have helped add so much spice to this story! :)


	132. Getting Ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 132

When you wake, you find Ben still laying on his side next to you. His eyes are open and on you. His lips are curved into a smile.

“Hello,” you whisper not sure if anyone is still asleep in the room.

“Hello,” He reaches over, his hand grazes then cups your breast. His thumb begins rubbing your nipple. You put your hand on top of his.

“Ben, I don’t think I can stay quiet again if you fuck me right now,” you still keep your voice low.

“No one is in the room anymore. Luke and Chewie are flying the ship and Rey fell asleep in the main hold. You can be as loud as you want,” he smirks. You would not mind another round with him but you honestly do not know if you two have the time.

“But aren’t we getting close to Mustafar?”

“We won’t be there for hours,” He starts to get on top of you. You start to smile.

“Well…I guess we do need to do something to pass the time,” You giggle. Ben proceeds to kiss you. You ignore his morning breath as he ignores yours. As his tongue twists with yours, the hand not groping your chest goes to your ladyship. He stroke your clit then presses his fingers inside. He feel around the wetting folds happily.

“Ben,” You start to pull form his kiss.

“Hm?”

“I want…”

“Want?”

“I want to be on top,” You decide. He grins.

“So be it,” he get off you and lays on his back. You climb on top of him. Luckily there is no bunk above you to hit your head on. You look down at his face this his chest. He still has on his shirt.

“This needs to come off,” You grab the hem of his shirt. Ben suddenly becomes self-conscience. He grabs your hands.

“It can stay on.”

“I want it off,” You start to lift it. Ben frowns. He does not want to kill this moment by having you look at his scars, but he does not want to ruin this moment by getting in a fight.

“Why?” Ben asks.

“Because, I don’t want to be the only one naked,” You state.

Ben sighs and moves his hands. It is only fair for both of you to be naked. He lets you take off his shirt. In the darkness is it hard to see his scars. But you rub your hands over his eight pack and up to his pecs. Grab his shoulders then begin to put him inside of you. You breathe deeply as you take him all inside. Ben wishes there was more light so he could watch your pussy swallow him whole. But he will just have to do with the sensation. You begin to lift, sit, and stir while your hands start back down for his pecs. His hands hold onto your thighs to keep you steady.   
Ben groans when you grab his nipples. You leans down and press your breasts against him and begin to lick his nipple. By the sounds coming from his mouth you can tell he enjoys the sensation you have also often enjoyed.

You sit up again only for Ben’s hands to come to your breast. He twists your nipples making you yelp and moan. Ben sits up and moves his hips with yours. He brings his mouth to right breast and starts sucking. You find some relief from the suckling. In the night your breasts had filled as they are used to needing to feed Anakin. With Anakin not around you have milk but no one to give it to. In times like this it is convenient to have a lover who has this fetish. 

“Oh, maker…suck on my tits, Ben. You’re going to make me cum from sucking my tits. Suck me dry. Suck me dry then fill me with your cum. Oh, Ben, you’re hitting me so deep. You’re so deep.” you cling to him. Ben continues his actions with your encouragement. As he finishes with both breasts you share another kiss. Your hands go into his hair and his into yours.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum,” Ben alerts you. You can feel him bulging and twitching in you. You are near your edge too.

“Me too! You’re going to make me cum. You’re going to make me cum. I’m coming, Ben!” Your nails dig into his back as you do as you said. Ben buries his face in your neck and bites there as he also explodes. Panting, you stay in each other’s hold.

“Since you came in me twice now, I am going to have to wash up down there. I can’t fight full of cum,” You unwrap your arms from him.

“I can help out with that,” he pulls you back against him. You enjoy the idea and possibility of getting cleaned up then dirtied up then cleaned up again with Ben. But then you remember, you will be in fully exposed in light. He could change his mind about getting busy. Do you dare to risk it?

“Let’s go then,” You get off him and wrap the blanket around you. You grab your discarded jumpsuit and start for the bathroom. Ben follows you with his pants on and his shirt in his hand. Getting into the small bathroom, you see there is not much room. The toilet and sink are next to each other on a wall while the wall across from it has a shower that might be able to fit you and Ben and racks of towels, toiletries, and bacta ointment.

You hang up your jumpsuit and grab some soap before reaching into the shower. You put the soap on the ledge inside then turn on the water. You hesitate to drop you blanket covering. Ben stands inside with his back to you. He hangs up his shirt near your jumpsuit then takes off his pants. You stare at his perfect, perky ass. It has been quite some time since you have seen it. You want to reach over and grab it. Having secured your blanket around you, you silently creep close to Ben and give into your silly desire. With both hands you grab his cheeks.

“What the fuck!” Ben jumps out of your grip. You laugh at his reaction. He looks back at you with a heated glare.

“You think that was funny?” He walks toward you. You back up still laughing.

“I do.”

Ben backs you up into the shower door. He puts his hands on either side of your head, gets right into your face. 

“You shouldn’t laugh at and assault your master like that. It’s very naughty,” he claims his authoritative role again as he lightly scolds you.

“I’m sorry, Master. Your butt was just too cute not to squeeze,” You bat your eyes at him.

“Oh? Is that so?”

“Yes. I could not resist,” You snake your hands around him and grab his lower cheeks again. He jumps at the squeeze making you laugh again.

“Do you want to be punished?” He grabs your wrists.

“Since we have time.”

Ben grabs your shoulders and spins you around. As he presses you against the shower door he rips away your blanket. You shiver at the cold air hitting your body.

“Keep your hands on the door,” he orders. You press your palms flat against the glass. You look over your shoulder as he moves to rack by the shower. He grabs the bacta ointment.

“What are you going to do to me, Master?” You do not know why he will need bacta ointment.

“Look forward,” he points. You face the door. Ben’s hand goes to your hip and pull on it signaling that you should arch your back. You stick your backside out more. You hear the sound a bottle squirting. You start to turn your head again. You receive a smack on your arse.

“I said look forward.”

You do as told.

“You need to listen and obey,” he comes behind you. You hear the squirting noise then feel a cool liquid on your bottom. Ben sends back the bottle to the rack via the force. Ben hands go to your cheeks and begin to knead them. He spread the cheeks allowing for the liquid to slide down into your crack. His finger goes into the crack and smears the bacta ointment. Your eyes bulge when his finger goes in your back hole.

“Master!” You yelp only to receive another spanking. A hand takes hold of your braid and winds it around his hand. He tugs roughly as he pulls his finger out of your hole. Instead, he presses the tip of his lathered-up cock to the hole.

“Master-ah!” He pushes inside. It is a smooth entry but still a bit uncomfortable.

“Now. Now. You must endure your punishment. How else are you going to learn to not assault your master?” He jerks on your hair as he bucks his hips.

“I’m sorry, Master,” You apologize though you know you will absolutely do it again.

“You’re not sorry,” his hand not entangled in your hair goes to your unoccupied quim. His fingers stroke your sensitive bud.

“I _am_ sorry, Master. I don’t want to upset you,” You are finding it harder to breathe. 

“You do like to upset me. You like for me to punish you. Don’t you?” He tugs your hair harder making you through your head back. “Don’t you?”

“Yes, master. I like it when you punish me,” You moan.

“And you like it up the ass. You like my big cock in your tight ass as I play with your clit,” He pulls on your hair again. You mewl feeling him pinching your love bud.

“Don’t you? Don’t you?” He pinches harder.

“Yes! I do! I do! I love your big fat cock in my ass and I love you playing with my clit! I love it all! Master! Master, keep fucking my ass! Keep torturing my clit! Please! Oh, fuck!” You feel your knees starting buckles as your skin prickles in impending ecstasy. Ben lets go of your hair. His arm goes around your waist. He heaves you up into the air. Your feet replace your hands against the wall. Your lock your arms behind you and around Ben’s neck. He keeps you up with his firm arm. His mouth his on your ear so his tongue can enter it.

Eyes rolling back into your skull, you howl as you cum. Ben’s fingers leave your pulsating clit, so his arm can join the other in wrapping it around you. He pulls out of your backside only to sandwich his cock between his belly and your back. He groans your name as he coats your back and his abdomen with his seed.

Your legs return to the ground while you try to regain some regular breathing. Ben kisses the top of the back of your head. You lean against his chest enjoying being in his arms.

“Now, we really are a mess,” Ben lets you go and pulls back looking at your soiled selves. You step back so you can open the shower door. You step inside the shower with Ben close behind. You are glad there is not much space so you two have to stay close and you can hide your insecure parts. You grab the soap and turn around to face Ben. You bring the soap to his chest. You want to soap him up and wash him all over.

**Bang. Bang.** You two look toward the door.

“Can whomever is in there get out? I need to use the facilities!” You hear Rey and blush.

“We will be out in a minute,” You yell to your sister then realized you said ‘we’. Now she will know you are both in there. Oh well.

You and Ben wash off as quickly as possible then dress in a speed that would impress any racer. You two open the door so Rey may enter. You smile at her but she looks away blushing. She can only assume why the two of you were in the bathroom together.

You both go back to the crew quarter to claim your shoes, belts and Ben’s jacket. You and Ben join Luke and Chewie in the cockpit. Luke has taken the pilot’s position. You are not too surprised as Luke is a pilot. The ship comes out of lightspeed and into the dark but star-speckled space. Before the ship is a red planet.

“There it is, Mustafar,” Luke points to the astrological object. Your heart pounds. This the place that may hold the key to finding your Hanamé. You grab Ben’s hand.

“Now, this place is covered in lava, volcanoes, obsidian shores and ashy forests and glens. Vader’s castle will most likely be the spot where the wayfinder is kept. We will land near there,” Luke gives some details of the planet and his plan.

“We will have to be ready to fight the moment the doors open. I did my research before and there is a cult of Alazmec colonists who will fight to protect the castle,” Ben shares what he learned during his previous studies. This is another way his Vader obsession will help them.

“Then when we land, we all better be armed and ready,” Rey enters the cockpit having heard ben’s information.

“Let’s get ready then,” You get up. You, Ben and Chewie go with your sister to the back of the ship where there are a few weapons stored. You already have your lightsaber on your belt just as Ben his saber and blaster. Rey has your grandfather-in-law’s lightsaber on her hip. Going through the weapons closet, Chewie picks up his signature bowcaster. He grabs some thermals that he stuffs into his pouch. Rey grabs a blaster as do you. Ben takes a knife and puts it in his boot. You take some thermals and attach them to your belt. Then you think of Luke. How will he fight? You grab a blaster and head back to the cockpit.

“Here,” you hand over the weapon to Luke.

“A blaster?”

“You need something to fight with besides the Force,” You keep it out toward him.

“I already have something,” Luke reaches into the folds of his tunic. He pulls out his lightsaber.

“You got it back?” You smile.

“Yes. I thought it might come in handy,” he smiles.

“It will.”


	133. Mustafar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 133

Landing on Mustafar, the five of you go to the door ready to go fight and find what you need Chewie, Luke and Rey stand all at the front ready to go. You stand in the back with Ben. You grab his hand that is not holding a blaster. You look to him.

“Ready, Sweetheart?” He whispers. You nod.

The door lowers and you not afraid despite seeing that the cultists have already reached the ship with their iron weapons and almost ancient blasters. Before a shot can be fired from the waiting Mustafarians, Chewie shoots his bowcaster. Luke spins his lightsaber as to deflect blasts from the cultists as Rey charges to attack those who protect Vader’s legacy. Ben lets go of your hand so he can grab his lightsaber as he shoots at the enemy. You do the same.

Progressing though the hellish landscape, you shoot and slice those who would harm you. It is almost overwhelming how many have come to oppose your five-man group. It seems no matter how many fall, more come running and shooting. Both you and Chewie have thrown several thermals as to blow up approaching aggressors.

Luke solely uses his lightsaber and the force as he fights. He leaps over a falling Mustafairan as he goes to behead two more and uses the force to push a third in to Rey’s blade as she is to Luke’s left fighting. Rey flips over a charging cultists and thrusts her lightsaber and thrusts it into his back before spinning and decapitating another. She sees five running toward her and Luke. In the corner of her eye is an iron-esque tree. Her lightsaber goes clean through it making the free fall. Seeing the falling tree, Luke, Ben and you use the force to push many more toward where the tree will fall. The tree crushes the five it was intended to kill as well as the extra sent its way.

Chewie kneels beside the fallen tree so he can have more protection as he shoot leading to more precise shots. Ben jumps over the tree and starts for the last of the enemy. You stay behind the tree with Chewie as to shoot more. You watch ben fight.

Ben is beautiful. His hair flies in the wind as he spins around and hits every attacker one on one. His body never shows any sign of weakness or awkward position. His muscles are constantly flexed in his fighting and his moves are precise. The red of his saber lights up his now soot sprinkled face. There is a fierce determination on his heated face and his eyes are full of wrath and purpose. You watch in awe as sticks a smaller side blade into the chest of his opponent, lifts him up only to slam him to the earth. He twirls and tucks his lightsaber behind him to run through another. Having impaled this one, Ben raises his hand and draws a shooter to him. He cuts the man through, catches the blaster aimed at his face and cuts through the arm. He throws it down. Taking deep breathes he now stands alone and upright among the numerous dead bodies. He is glorious and victorious. At a time like this, you should not be aroused but you cannot help yourself.

You rise up from behind the tree and run to him. His eyes go to you. You embrace him with your lightsaber off but he keeps his on. The others come.

“I can sense it,” Ben suddenly says. He lets go of you and keeps walking. You and the other stick behind him with weapons ready.

The ground begins to squish under everyone’s feet and mist started to billow toward them creating a terrible fog. A small splash makes you jump but Ben does not. Having kept the pace and direction, the tree break open revealing a brackish lake that has a disgusting oil film atop it. Forests and large black boulders jutting up border the lake. However, upon closer looking the boulders are not stones. They are the remnants of Vader’s once astounding castle.

The black water bubbles when the group reaches the lake. Out emerges a hairless giant with eyes that remain closed. Over the bald heard and across the shoulder of this giant is attached another creature with long, spidery tentacles. You sense the pain of the giant. It wants to be rid of the second creature. Ben too senses this but there is nothing that can be done. The two are in a symbiotic state and appears that to remove one would kill both.

“I am the eye of Webbish Bog,” identifies the spider, “I know what you seek.”

“You will give it to me,” Ben is not afraid of this being. The giants cocks its head only to emit an eerie squealing noise. It takes a moment for all to realize this creature is not in pain but instead is laughing.

“No need for that,” The eye finally stopped the horrifying noise, “Do you really think my lord would have left it in the guardianship of one who could be swayed by a trick of the force?”

It would makes sense for Vader not to as he was fare more clever than that.

“You’ve been seeking it for a while, yes? I must warn you. If you proceed down this path, you will encounter your true self.”

You do not understand the warning. Is not Ben already his true self now? Or is the creature speaking to you or someone else. There are five of you present.

Ben just glares impatiently to the creature as he wants to get the wayfinder and go. The creature sighs seeing that Ben will not indulge him ceremony.

“In accordance with Lord Vader’s wishes, you defeated my protectors and earned it, his wayfinder,” The giant raises its enormous hand from beneath the water and points it to a small island in the lake. On it is a stone structure like an altar.

Ben turns off his lightsaber and hooks it to his belt. He steps into the water. You step to go with him but the giant puts out his hand to block you.”

“No. only one may go,” the eye proclaims. You have to let Ben go alone.

Ben wades through the water. His boots and pants become soaked. The water is warm as is not surprising given the planet’s geology. The ground sinks beneath him in hopes of sucking his feet into it. He powers through and reaches the island. The altar he sees is divided with a lid and bottom. He pushes off the lid and lets it fall to the ground where it is shatters. Inside is a single metal square. Pulling it up, it shows its true shape it that of a pyramid. The glass of it is green but inside is a shining red dot. Ben stares at the dot almost mesmerized. This…this is where his daughter is. This is where he will find the last missing piece of his family. Once he has his Hanamé, he may go back for his son. He will have you, Anakin and Hanamé. He will finally have peace and happiness.

“It will guide you through the unknown regions to the hidden world of Exegol,” The eye had made the giant walk to the island so it could speak to ben. “It will guide you to _him_.”

“Him?” Ben looks back to the eye not sure what the creature means. “Snoke?”

The giant and eye release the creepy squeal again. “You do not know whom you seek?”

“I seek only my daughter who is on Exegol,” Ben replies.

“You will find more than your daughter there,” the eye chuckles then slips back into the water. Ben frowns at this. He wades back through the water to you and the others. You smile upon his return.

“He said this will takes us to him. I asked it he meant Snoke but he only laughed at me. I know Snoke is dead. So, who else could he mean?” Ben looks to Luke alone. If anyone knew what the creature referred to it, it would be the Jedi. Luke’s brow puckers as he is trying to think on who it could be.

“I do not know,” Luke admits.

“Then I guess we will just be surprised,” Ben grabs your hand and starts back for the ship.

On board, your group goes into the cockpit to set up the wayfinder to see exactly where you are all going to go. As Ben attaching the proper wires, Luke notices one missing. He grabs the missing wire. As he starts to attach it. He grabs hold of the pyramid as to keep it still.

Luke gasps. You can all see him going into a daze. When he lets go of the wayfinder, he pants. Chewie grabs hold of Luke’s shoulder to keep the man upright as Luke had started to fall.

“Luke, what’s wrong?” You put your hands on his chest.

“I saw him. I saw who is on Exegol,” Luke’s blue eyes only hold panic as does his voice.

“Who did you see?” Ben crosses his arms.

“But-but-it’s impossible,” Luke is speaking more to himself.

“Who is it?” Ben grows more irritated with his uncle.

“Impossible. Impossible,” Luke repeats over and over again. Ben moves you out of the way and slaps Luke across the face as to shake him from ramblings. He grabs Luke by the collar so the old Jedi must look him in the eyes.

“Who did you see?”

“Palpatine.”

“Palpatine?” Ben lets go of Luke. Chewie steps back in shock.

“Somehow he is back from the dead. _He_ is on Exegol.”

You remember the Palpatine name as it was once the most famous name in the galaxy. It was the name of the Emperor after all. It makes no sense though, Palpatine has been dead for about thirty years. Anakin killed him, didn’t he?

“That is impossible,” Rey pipes up the same sentiment Luke had about the situation.

“Exactly,” Luke nods.

“But it isn’t. Snoke told me the Sith know how to manipulate life and death. Only recently did I think he was lying but maybe he was not. If Palpatine can come back from the dead then the Snoke was telling the truth about the Sith’s abilities,” Ben almost smiles. Maybe he could still bring Han back.

“If he is truly back though, we are all in grave danger, the entire galaxy is,” Luke thinks on everyone else.

“We must tell Leia and the others,” Rey interjects.

“Yes. We should go back to Ajan Koss and discuss what we should do next,” Luke strokes his beard.

“No.” Ben shakes his head.

“No?” Luke does not like his nephew’s disagreement.

“I am getting my daughter now. I am not going to wait any longer. I will fight and kill Palpatine myself if I must,” Ben is set.

“But the others must know right away so-”

“Why? Palpatine does not have an army. Mother and the others should focus on fighting the First Order not about killing some resurrected bastard. We should not trouble them further. We should not hesitate to strike now before something can arise, before something else can happen to Hanamé.”

“He is right. The Resistance’s focus should be on the First Order. We need to go to Palpatine now. Especially, now that it is him and not Snoke who wants Hanamé for a vessel,” You agree with Ben especially as the clock is ticking on the plan for the taking over of Hanamé.

“But we are not prepared for Palpatine,” Luke shakes his head.

“What do you mean?”

“He is the greatest Sith in history. And we are-” Luke lacks faith.

“We are more than enough to face him. You are a Jedi Master, Luke. Rey may be untrained but her raw power is more than enough to cause damage. Ben has been trained by both a Jedi Master and a Sith-adjacent one. And I have been trained by Ben and you. And Chewie can-well, Chewie can do anything! If you and Darth Vader were enough to taken down the Emperor then we are more than enough,” You remind Luke. He is still doubtful. You take his hand.

“Do not let your fear blind you to the truth, Father,” You speaks softly to encourage him.

Father? Ben mouths to himself never having heard you call Luke this. Why would you call Luke ‘father’? Ben knows Luke is not your father. 

Luke smiles at you and puts his hands on your cheeks. He admires you and your faith in him and in your dear ones. He knows you and Ben can no longer wait to be with your child especially as you have finally found the way to her.

“Alright then. Let’s go to Palpatine.”


	134. Battle of Ajan Kloss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments, kudos and patience! I know my posts have not been as frequent as before as my mind has been veiled by writer's block. But the veil is starting to lift! I hope it will stay up. Again, I thank you all for your patience. Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 134

Supreme Leader Hux sits at the head of the conference table in his new snow-white uniform that his trimmed with silver. His cape his held around his neck by a silver chain and clasp that holds the First Order symbol. He has kept his gloves the standard black but he has allowed himself a non-uniform flourish. A simple silver laurel that goes about the back of his head and stops of the sides at his temples. This is another mark of his Supreme Leader status. He knows his father would have found it too ostentatious and ridiculous but he does not give a damn about the dead man’s opinion. Some of the Supreme Leader’s subordinates share the same thoughts his father would have but none dare to speak it. Though Hux had always made known his view that Kylo was a reckless butcher, Hux has slaughtered those who would disagree with him and oppose him. He has been Supreme Leader for just a few days and he has executed forty percent of his top leaders.

Supreme Leader Hux smiles looking at the hologram on the table. It projects the image of a moon.

“We were able to track the ships from Yavin 4 to this moon Ajan Kloss. That is where Princess Leia and those who escaped from Crait are hiding,” Lt. Mitaka informs his leader on what was learned from their spies on Yavin 4.

“And is Kylo Ren still on that planet?” Hux checks on his former rival.

“We are not sure, Supreme Leader. There have been ships going to and from the planets so he may have been on one,” Lt. Mitaka can only say what is possible.

“Then I guess we will have to find out for certain,” Hux stands from his seat. He looks to the others gathered at the conference table who wait for his instruction. Hux revels that it is him for whom people wait to speak and instruct.

“We will go to Ajan Kloss and form a blockade. We will attack on foot. I want Princess Leia, Kylo Ren, and Lady Ren to be brought to me. All others are to be killed,” Hux decides. His sparing on the three persons is not out of mercy or grace. No, he has special plans for the three, very special plans.

“We will take our star destroyers, dreadnoughts, and our finest troopers. It is a bit overkill but it will show the strength of the First Order and warn the rest of the galaxy that no matter the size of rebellion, it will be met and squashed beneath our heel.”

“And what if more allies come to help them?” an Admiral asks Hux.

“We kill them too of course,” Hux snorts at the question he finds silly. “Now, let’s go.”

The meeting is let out. His subordinates prepare for the measures that must take place for them to travel the galaxy to Ajan Kloss and fight the little Resistance that is left. It should be an easy task but those who have survived from the last war are still haunted by the battle of Endor. This time, they will make sure no primitive moon base takes down an entire army.

As the members of the First Order prepare as to execute Supreme Leader Hux’s orders, the redhaired man goes to his elevated chambers he inherited from his predecessor. Millicent greets her master by rubbing against his legs before scampering off to her climbing tower. He sits down at his desk and grabs the personal communicator hidden in one of the drawers. He hits the red button and waits for a moment. Then a black cloaks figure appears on the communicator.

“Supreme Leader Hux,” The gravelly voice comes from the black cloak.

“We have found the Resistance base. We will go, attack and kill all of them,” Hux begins to grin.

“You will spare the princess and Kylo Ren though,” The person brings up Leia.

“Yes. I will bring them to you using the wayfinder as I promised,” Snoke looks to the pyramid shaped device he found in Snoke’s chambers when he had moved into the rooms.

“Excellent.”

“And you shall give me my new army?” Hux brings up the promise the person had made him when they first spoke. Hux had nearly shat his pants when the communicator went off. He answered it was even more terrified when he saw the caller. He knew exactly who it was though it was hard to believe. Hux had seen the images of his father’s first leader and so he knew who the caller was. But Hux did not understand how the dead was now again alive.

“You bring me Leia and Kylo and I will give you your army. I will give you the power to rule galaxy. You will be feared and worshipped as you should be. You will be the new Emperor.” The resurrected promises. Hux smiles at the title.

‘Emperor Armitage Hux’ it rings well in Hux’s ears. If his poor mother could see him, she would be proud. The once mocked and belittled bastard will be the most powerful and respected man in the galaxy. He will rule higher and longer than anyone before him. He will stomp out any sparks of rebellion left in the galaxy. He will find turn over the princess and the traitorous bastard Kylo to his new supplier. But he will not let Kylo rest in peace before he is given over. No. He will see to it Kylo is made to suffer. You will suffer as well. And since you were not requested by the promise-maker, he can keep you. He will keep you as his personal slave. He will be sure to break Kylo in front of you. He will degrade and brutalize your master then take his place as your new and true master. He will make sure you worship the very ground he walks on and beg for even the faintest of attention. You will want to be his in everyway and he will let you. He may even let you bare him a child or two as to further claim you as his. Yes, he will Emperor Hux, you will be his ever-devoted sex slave, Kylo will be dead and the First Order will reign unopposed.

“I will make sure it is so,” Hux assures.

“Contact me once you have them,” The receiver of call ends the communication with a wave of pale white hand that is missing bits of fingers. Hux puts away the communicator. He must prepare for the battle.

* * *

Leia carries Anakin on her side as she walks to conference room. The weight of the black-haired child and the purpose in her spirit almost makes her feel as if she is stepping into the past as she is stepping into the conference room. It was almost thirty years ago when she would walk into the senate conference room with baby Ben at her side. It was unprecedented for senators to some to meet with their children with them. But Leia did not want to leave Ben especially with Han travelling. She wanted to keep her still breastfeeding boy with her just in case he needed her. Also it would unnerve some of her fellow senators to see her breastfeed them in front of them in meetings. She did it for Ben’s sake but she knew it was a power move. It showed that she always did what was needed. She was able to multitask. She could be a mother and senator at the same time. Amilyn used to praise Leia for her ballsy move. No, that was not what Amily called it. She called it her “breasty” move. 

Entering the room Leia sees Poe, Connix, and D’Arcy in the room awaiting her new orders for the different groups they lead. Though she has come to care deeply for her subordinates, Leia still misses her old friends. If she could have it her way she would be walking into a room with Han, Luke, Chewie, Amilyn, and Akbar while she has Ben at her side. But wishing for this is not going to help anyone right now.

Poe eyes Anakin as he calmly sits in his grandmother’s hold. He knows this is your child and that being so he is half of you. He is half of the woman he loved. But all he sees is Kylo. He cannot help holding some anger toward the babe for being the miniature of his horrid father. Poe knows that children are not their parents. That is clear since Kylo is not his mother or father. Both were decent and Kylo is…not.

“I am glad to see you back, Poe,” Leia acknowledges the recently returned pilot.

“Glad to be back, Leia,”’ He offers a smile.

“Where is Finn and the Tico girl?” Rose’s name slips Leia’s mind.

“They are still off base. They will return in the evening,” Poe answers.

“Very good. Well, we should get down to business then. Even with our new resources and secure hiding spot, I think we still need some time before making a direct attack against the First Order. I know this will lead to more of the Galaxy falling to the First Order, but I do not think our forces are strong enough yet,” Leia says what Poe does not want to hear.

“We may not have the resources yet, Leia, but if we are able to have successful infiltrations of the First Order and get their secrets, we could take them down from inside before we are forced to make a physical attack.” Poe brings up the hope for espionage.

“If anyone can infiltrate without being caught. But I am sure the First Order will be on even more guard now. And did not Finn speak of how he and the Tico girl were exposed before several First Order members before they escaped to Crait?” Leia brings up the failed attempt of Finn and Rose.

“They were betrayed by the code breaker. I doubt he is anywhere around anymore and would not be able to rat out on our spy,” Poe brings up the true reason for the past failure.

“Hmm. We can discuss that more when Ben and the others return,” Leia wants her son’s counsel as he would know what needs to be stolen and brought by a spy. Poe dislikes the want of Kylo’s counsel but he holds his tongue.

“D’arcy, do you have any updates on the support from-”

A sudden shake of the room cuts Leia off. She holds Anakin closer as she and the others try to regain their balance.

“What the hell was that!” Poe asks to no one in particular and starts for the conference room door. The women go with him into the hall. The hall shakes making them grab at the wall for balance. Anakin does not cry but clings to his grandmother. The group ventures further out to see what could be going on outside to make everything shake. It surely cannot be an earthquake.

Reaching the opening, Connix’s eyes go out to the people before them yelling and shooting. D’Arcy look beyond the immediate people to the approaching troopers shooting. Poe and Leia’s eyes go to the sky. In the blue sky are numerous First Order ships. Some drop bombs not too distantly which makes the moon shake. Leia swallows. They are surrounded. She looks out to the approaching troopers. There are AT-ATs approaching with the troopers. There is no way to escape. Any ship that attempts to fly will be shot down. There are far more troopers than rebels. It will be a slaughter. It was what would have happened on Crait has Ben not come in place of the First Order.

Connix grabs a blaster and joins her fellow brothers and sisters in arms to shoot at the enemies. Poe grabs his blaster and stands before Leia to protect her. D’Arcy nervously gulps but grabs a weapon as well.

Leia can hear the yells and cries of those who are shot down. She watches them fly back at the impact. The rebels fight on despite being outnumbered. They will not give up even to the very end.

The end. Leia knows this…this is the end. Yes, there is still hope out there with those on their little missions like Finn and Ben. But this is her end. This is the end of so many dear, brave friends. She hopes their sacrifices will not be for naught.

“Mmm,” She feels a tiny hand squeeze at her chest. She looks down and remembers she is holding Anakin. His big brown eyes that belonged to her mother, herself and her son look back up at her. They are not full of fear. They are ignorant to the battle taking place. The baby smiles at his emotionally distressed grandmother. He looks so much like Han and Ben with that smile. Will this be the end of her grandson? Shall he be killed before he can truly live his life?

No.

“Poe,” Leia grabs the pilot who stands before her to protect her.

“Yes, Leia?” He looks to his favorite leader.

“Take Anakin and hide in the bunker,” Leia starts to hand over the baby.

“What?” Poe does not reach for the child of his technically former enemy.

“Take Anakin and hide in the bunker. Keep him safe and do not let anyone discover you or him. Stay safe this battle is over and the moon is cleared of the First Order. Then find away to get somewhere safe with him,” Leia puts Anakin against Poe’s chest. Poe’s arm instinctually goes to hold the child though he does not want to hold him.

“You should got to the bunker with him and stay safe. I am ready to fight. I am ready to die,” Poe declares. Leia grabs Poe’s blaster hand and makes him put the weapon in his holster then has it go around to hold Anakin more securely.

“You will do as your general commands,” Leia’s tone is fare from harsh. It is gentle and sad. She kisses her grandson’s head then kisses Poe’s cheek. She grabs a blaster from the set at the entry of the building.

“Leia,” Poe tries to speak to her once more.

“Go, Poe. Go,” She points down the hall. Poe frowns but take off with the baby.

Leia sheds a tear knowing this may the last time she ever sees either boy. She wipes it away and steps out into the fray. She marches with her men and women toward the approaching enemy. Her allies fall at her side btu Leia goes on as do any who can still move and shoot.

Fearless, Leia aims and fires till her weapon runs out of ammo. It is then she uses what Luke trained her to use. Leia takes her deep breath and holds out her hands. She waves her hands with purpose and stomps over the fallen. Blaster shots are sent toward her but they fly backward at the command of her hands. Troopers unwillingly jerk into the line of Leia’s friends’ fire.

Coming face to face with an AT-AT, Leia holds out her hand. She closes her eyes closes her hand. The body of the machine crushes in on itself and falls to the ground crushing the white wearing soldiers. Leia stumbles backward at the use of the force. It has been so long since she used so much of the force. Her mind is strong enough but her body…it is still weak from her preservation in space. She will not give up though. She cannot.

Hux watches the princess turned general fight without a weapon from the comfort of his command shuttle. He stands behind and between the two pilots with lips pooched. He has yet to see Kylo or you there. Are you two hiding?

“Should we shoot her down, Sir?” A pilot looks back at Hux.

“No. She is to be captured not killed,” the Supreme Leader directs. He continues viewing the battle below. He watches the rebels shrinking at a higher rate than his men. The ground below becomes progressively whiter as the troopers gain more ground. Hux grins gleefully seeing his men circle the old princess and the last twelve of the rebels. Even from the ship, it is clear that the princess is struggling to use the special force she shares with Kylo.

“Lower the ship now. I will go to the Princess myself,” Hux instructs.

“Right away, sir,” the pilot lands the ship.

Leia can no longer keep her arms up to defend her people. Instead, they had encircled her. They fire at the surrounding troopers. Leia knows not all of the names of those who surround her. Some are fresh from Yavin 4. Yet, they are willing to protect her. She sees that Connix is among them unlike D’Arcy who lies dead on the ground ten feet away from them. The last of the ammunition is fired. Leia knows it as do her comrades. The troopers do not know though. They keep their weapons raised and aimed at the group yet they do not fire. A small opening is made in the troopers. Leia watches as a red head dressed in white approaches. He stands behind two storm troopers for protection. She knows from photos taken from the First Order database that this man is Armitage Hux, the new Supreme Leader.

“Drop you weapons,” Hux orders the rebels.

“Never!” Connix shakes her head. Her twin buns have fallen into plain btu loose pigtails during the battle.

“Drop your weapons now our each one of you will be shot,” Hux threatens.

“We are prepared to die,” another rebel from Yavin 4 proclaims.

“Princess Leia, please, have your constituents drop their weapons so that they may be spared,” Hux brings up the life card. If it means they can live, Leia is willing to order them to stand down so she does. The group frowns but obeys their leader.

“Handcuff them,” Hux orders further. Several troopers come and cuff the rebels including Leia. The lesser rebels are pulled aside but Leia is kept in the center. With her shackled, Hux feels comfortable to come forward to the mother of his rival.

“Princess Leia Organa, is it a pleasure to meet you and a pleasure to meet you in this way,” He smirks.

“The pleasure is yours alone.”

“Ah. I see where Kylo got his manners from,” Hux recalls the tall, dark man. Leia does not reply but is rather glad to have some knowledge that despite her son’s former alliance, he did not like this man either.

“Speaking of, where is my old friend?” Hux looks around for the former First Order commander.

“He is gone.”

“Gone?” Hux’s red caterpillar of an eyebrow climbs up his forehead.

“Yes. He and his wife took their child and left on a ship,” Leia tells most of the truth. The information makes the red caterpillars meet in the middle. Did you and Kylo really leave?

“They left? Didn’t he want to help mommy dearest?”

“No. They wanted to be free so they left me behind. It is a trait Solo men have,” Leia remarks hoping the personal detail will convince Hux.

“So, you are saying that Kylo has not only betrayed the First Order but has also betrayed the Resistance?”

“Yes.”

“I may be new to my position, Princess, but I am so wet behind the ears that I do not know when I am being lied to,” Hux does not believe the woman.

“I am not lying. They are not here.”

“I will see about that,” Hux pulls out his blaster from his belt. He grabs it by the barrel then hits Leia in the head with it. As the princess falls to the ground her follow scream. Hux spins the blasters so it is in proper firing position. He swiftly shoots down the lined rebels. He blows off the blaster’s barrel though it is not smoking. He puts it back on his belt.

“Take Princess Leia back to a holding cell on the _Steadfast_. Search the moon for Kylo Ren and Lady Ren. Bring only them to me alive. Kill any other survivors,” Hux begins to walk toward the path the leads to his ship. A set of troopers gather the fallen woman and carry her behind Hux.


	135. Bunker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thanks for the comments and kudos! Please enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 135

Racing to the bunker, Poe passed C-3P0 and BB-8. The golden droid looked to the round one confused. Everyone else is running out of the base not further into it.

“Master Poe, where are you going?” C-3P0 calls to the running pilot. Poe does not answer. BB-8 starts to roll after Poe.

“Wait for me!” C-3P0 starts his waddle-run after the other droid. 

Poe makes it to the furthest room in the base. Inside he, lifts the rug there and finds the bunker door. He pulls it open with a grunt as it is more difficult with one hand in comparison to two. He finally gets it open when BB-8 and C-3P0 come into the room.

“Master Poe, what are you doing?” C-3P0 inquires just as Poe starts onto the ladder.

“Leia ordered me to protect the child in here until it is safe,” Poe informs the droids and goes down into the underground location. He finds a light switch and flips it so some lights come on. He sees several bunk beds and crates of rations and beverages. There are even some of the baby items that the Yavin 4 people brought. Leia must have put some away just in case. Poe puts Anakin down on a bed. He starts back up the ladder. BB-8 whirs with a question.

“Yes, you can come down here, buddy,” Poe reaches for BB-8. He takes the large ball-like droid and brings it down the ladder.

“What about me, master Poe?” C-3P0 inquires as Poe comes up once again. Poe pauses. He needs to shut and cover the door. He also would prefer not to be stuck with the overly chatty droid. But it would be rather cruel of him to take one droid and not the other. Poe sighs and climbs out of the hole.

“Come on, Threepio,” Poe waves his hand to the droid.

“Oh, thank you, Master Poe,” C-3P0 shimmies down the ladder. Poe grabs the rug and lays it over the still open door. Poe gets back in the hole and pulls down the door. He has to hope that the rug will lay back down smooth with the door down.

Poe twists the round handle till is locks. Poe slowly comes back down to the ground. He looks to BB-8 and C-3P0 who remain still and quiet. Hearing a gurgle, Poe remembers the left the baby on the bed. When his eyes land on Anakin, he sees the tyke has turned himself over onto his stomach and he his crawling toward the edge of the bed. Poe runs and catches the boy before he can fall off the bed.

“Watch out,” Poe lifts the boy so the child has to look him in the eyes. Anakin stares at the man he does not know.

The room shakes as more bombs are dropped. Poe holds the child closely to his chest out of instinct.

“Master Poe, what is going on up there?” C-3P0 asks.

“The First Order has us completely surrounded and are attacking us. It’s a slaughter,” Poe is honest about the goings-on above them. 

“Then Princess Leia should be down here with us,” C-3P0 starts back to the ladder.

“She isn’t going to come, Threepio. That’s why she gave me the child to hide down here,” Poe’s information makes the gold droid stop. If C-3P0 could frown, he would but his mouth piece does not allow for that function.

“We must make contact with our allies. They can come help,” C-3P0 turns around and walks toward a back wall. Poe notices now there is some communication equipment.

“The ships surrounding us are star destroyers and the like. If our allies try to come, they will only be destroyed before even making to land,” Poe knows the truth.

“There must be something that we can do,” C-3P0 is desperate. Though one may think droids to not have feelings or attachments, it is not true of C-3P0. How could the droid not be attached and not care for the princess he has known since her infancy? Though droids do not have children, it could be said that Leia is his child though she has grown up to be his leader and his friend. He is not battle droid but there is a desire in him that goes against coding to protect his princess.

“We have to just wait, Threepio. We have to wait till the First Order is gone or defeated, then we can send for help,” Poe hates what he is saying. He too wants to go and fight. He wants to defy Leia and go to his brothers’ and sisters’ aid. But Poe has learned that just because he does not like or understand the order does not mean he should not obey it. He must trust in what Leia has asked him to do.

Another blow makes the bunker shakes. Poe squeezes Anakin just a little too tightly causing a cry to erupt form the boy. Poe cringes hearing the wail right in his ear. He pulls Anakin from him and stares at the child. Anakin’s brown eyes are shut tight while his mouth is wide open. This will not do. If any First Order troopers come back here, they may be able to hear Anakin and their location will be given away.

“Shh, kid. You got to quiet down,” Poe tries talking to the child. It changes nothing. Poe has no idea what to do. He was never around children that were this young. He tries to bounce Anakin but it only make the child cry more.

“Master Poe, perhaps young Master Anakin is hungry,” C-3P0 moves to the bay supplies. The droid brings out a bottle. C-3P0 shakes it which activates the formula concoction designed in the bottle. He hands it to Poe who attempts to give to Anakin. The baby takes the bottle’s nipple in his mouth only to spit it out and hit it out of Poe’s hand. Poe huffs.

“Does young Master Anakin need to be change?” C-3P0 gives another reason. Poe lifts Anakin up to smell as his diaper. There is not odor indicating urine or feces.

“No. But he needs to shut up,” Poe’s frustration only grows. Tiny Kylo is proving to be a challenge already.

“He may just be tired, Master Poe,” Another reason comes from the often too polite droid.

“What do I do then?” Poe keeps Anakin out from him.

“Cradle the child in your arms. Some babies like to be rocked and sung to like Master Ben did,” C-3P0 recalls the way Ben had been as a baby.

Ben. Poe rolls his eyes at the name Kylo uses now. Poe brings Anakin to him and turns his hold into a cradle. He starts to rock the child. C-3P0 puts his hand on Poe’s arm.

“Gently, Master Poe.”

Poe slows his movements and sees Anakin calms slightly but he still has bursts of whimpers. The droid had suggested singing. But what song? He supposes it does not matter what the song is. Poe clears his throat.

“When I go by Mandalore

Need a blaster at my door

You come along and follow me

We’ll go down in history

Shining bright, bright starry road

You promenade is gold

Tell me who you love

Tell me who you love,” Poe brings up the song his father would sing to him. It was the song you had enjoyed hearing him sing. Poe notices Anakin calming. Poe keeps singing softly as the boy does not cry anymore. Poe moves across the room to a bed and sits down.

Feeling more at ease, Anakin relaxes and finds that maybe the one holding and singing is a fit person to sleep on. Anakin starts to close his eyes. He opens them a few ties to makes sure the signing does not stop. Finally, Anakin finds rest.

Poe observes the way the child has fallen asleep. The babe is practically limp in his arms but he has turned so his face and body is facing Poe’s body. Poe does not fail to see and feel Anakin’s tiny hand gripping his shirt. Poe knows putting the baby down or even moving him away slightly will cause Poe’s shirt to come out of Anakin’s tiny hand. Poe starts to smile. You held onto him tightly like that when you slept against him that night on Takodana.

Like mother, like son. Poe mentally murmurs. He supposes the baby is not a total tiny Kylo after all.

Things become very quiet in the bunker. The room no longer shakes from falling bombs. Poe does not sing and hardly breathes as he wants to be able to hear if his friends somehow survived and have come to relieve him. Poe is patient.

A muffled voice makes Poe’s ears perk. He tenderly lays the sleeping Anakin on the bed. He walks with his finger over his lips so that neither BB-8 nor C-3P0 make a noise. Poe turns off the lights of the bunker after grabbing his blaster. He creeps up the ladder toward the bunker door to listen to who is above them. Poe almost presses his ear to the door.

“See anybody?” A voice asks someone else in the room. Poe can tell by the filtered voice it is a trooper in a helmet.

“Nah. It’s empty just like the rest of the base,” The other answers.

“Dank Farik. I was hoping to kill some more Rebel scum,” the first bemoans.

“Did you not get your fill outside?”

“Well, GT-3049 and I are having a bet to see which can get more kills. Winner gets the other’s rations.”

“How many did you get then?”

“Eleven.”

“Only eleven,” the second laughs.

“There weren’t that many left here,” the first defends his body count. Poe burns in anger hearing them talk of killing his friends as if they were killing womprats.

“True. Well, we better get back and let the captain know there are no survivors here,” the second decides.

“Supreme Leader Hux will be pleased.”

“Yeah. It was a total massacre except for that old princess lady,” Poe hears the voices growing fainter. The voice disappear and Poe has to assume the men are gone. Poe goes down the ladder with a heavy heart.

Everyone is dead. Everyone except Leia. He is glad to know his mother-figure is alive but aggrieved or the other losses. He knows he must wait a bit longer before he leaves the bunker now. He must wait for the First Order to finish all surveillance and leave. But he must contact the allies. He must tell Finn and Rose, their allies in the galaxy and he must alert you about the change. Again, he will have to wait to do that as sending out any communication could be detected by the First Order’s ships. Then they will know he and Anakin survived. Poe sighs. He hates waiting.


	136. The Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 136

You have been sitting strapped in the most secure way possible once the ship reached the terrifying red cloud that the wayfinder directed you all to go. You clutched your arm rests and held your breath as the ship at to twist, flip, turn, jerk and jump through a gaseous plain filled with unlucky ships and gigantic creatures that attempted to take a bite out of the Millennium Falcon. You sensed no fear, anxiety or even the slightest concern from the other passengers as Ben flew the ship through the red clouds. Instead, you felt their excited and thrill as they were tossed about through the almost impossible pass. You cannot understand their enjoyment of such flight. Pilots…you thought and rolled your eyes when you finally got out of the red space and the ship returned a calmer flight.

“There it is,” You hear Ben speak more to himself than anyone else. You unbuckle. Heart pounding, you stand between Ben and Chewie’s seat to stare out the window of the cockpit. The blackness of space is only darkened more by the orb the Millennium Flacon draws closer to quickly.

You know this is the place, the home of the Sith. You can feel it. You can feel the darkness. You can feel the heavy, oppressive darkness that radiates from the dark planet even from this far away. It hits you like a wave would. It wants to take you under, it wants to drown you. It wants to fill your lungs and every part of your body till you are fully succumbed.

A chill runs down your spine and the hairs on the back of your neck stands up as do the hairs on your arms.

How can you dare to go against the darkness? How can you dare to fight the Sith? How can you dare to face Emperor Palpatine, the greatest Sith? He has obviously survived death even from the hands of Darth Vader. Who are you face and challenge him? You are just a trooper bastard who just happened to be able to turn lights on and off with your mind and managed to seduce a man superior to you in station, skill, and bloodline. You are girl with no name, no family, no power. You are nothing. You are _nothing_.

Why are you even here? Why are you coming to Exegol? You are no Resistance fighter. You are no leader. You are not even a Jedi. You are nothing. Your presence is unnecessary. You have no purpose here. You will only be a distraction to the true warriors who are worthy to come before Emperor Palpatine. You are no help. You have no purpose. You are nothing. You are nothing. You are nothing.

The voice in your head sounds less like you and more like a stranger’s. Yet, it is your voice and you feel compelled by these thoughts. You are nothing. Why are you even here? You can do nothing as you are nothing. You will be a hindrance, a burden. Everyone will be better off without you. How could you even come here to fight Emperor Palpatine when -

You stop.

You are not here to fight the emperor. It might happen but that is not your purpose. You are here for Hanamé. You are here for you child. You are here to save your daughter from a life that will be cut short for the longevity of a sick and twisted bastard. You are here because you are not nothing. You are a mother. You are a wife. You are a friend. You are a sister. You are a daughter and daughter-in-law. You are not a Jedi but you are badass force user. You are protector. You are fighter- a champion one at that. You are trooper. You are a survivor. You are even more than these roles. You are not nothing. You are not purposeless. Fuck the doubt and fear in your mind. You will not be a slave to them anymore.

Almost as if coming out of a trance, you breathe easy and smile. You look to Ben. He does not hold an expression indicating the confidence you have now. You look to Chewie and find the Wookie holds an expression of deep, negative thought. Luke and Rey who stand in the Cockpit as well, have turned heads and lowered eyes.

You are a failure.

You are useless, a burden.

You are a fraud.

You are weak.

“You let Han die. You failed to protect him. Now, you fail him again if you come here. You will fail Han and Leia. You will die alongside Ben, Luke, Meia and Rey without saving Han’s grandchild. And you will not even get to see your own wife and child again before dying. Lumpawaroo will think you abandoned him as will Mallatobuck. They will never know the truth. You are a failure as a friend, uncle, husband and father.” You hear the voice coming from Chewie’s mind but it is not Chewie’s voice. It is a gravelly and spoken in basic.

You hear the same voice behind you but it comes from opposite sides.

“You are just a scavenger. Your own parents did not think you were worth keeping around. You got lucky fighting against Kylo. Even Luke could tell you are not Jedi material. He wanted nothing to do with your training. He probably gave you the wrong training on purpose so you cannot succeed. You will never be able to defeat Emperor Palpatine. He is the greatest Sith and you barely know the Jedi way. You should have stayed with your friends but what real use would you have been to them? Skywalker has been found and the map you saw is not longer desired. You have no purpose to help the Resistance. You are useless. You should just go back to Jakku. You belong among the trash there. You don’t belong with any of these people. You have no real place in the Resistance. Luke does not want to train anymore Jedi so you do not belong with him. Chewie has his own family he wants to return to and you are not apart of it. Finn seems rather close to that Rose girl so he has replaced you. Your sister cares more about Kylo than you. You will only serve as burden to her if you stick with her.” 

Rey’s mind is loud but not as loud as Luke’s.

“Master Jedi? Ha! A master fraud is what you are. You have coasting off the belief you were apart of the death and demise of Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine. But Emperor Palpatine isn’t dead. You did not even notice. You were too focused on making more Jedis. But you failed in that. You failed your students. You failed Ben. You failed Leia and Han. You failed the whole galaxy. Facing Emperor Palpatine will just lead to another failure. Your own father did not succeed in killing him, how can you?”

“You really think you can defeat Emperor Palpatine? You did not even defeat that Scavenger girl. And in truth you did not even kill Snoke. It was your wife how gave the fatal blow and you added to it. You are a Skywalker and yet you have been shown up by two daughters of a whore. It must be the Solo blood. Snoke always did say you were too weak because you were too much like your father. He said you had his heart. But you did not have enough because you killed him. It did not make you stronger. It nearly destroyed you to do it. And it was all for a lie. You are so gullible. You trusted the wrong person and what did it lead to? You are a disgraceful child who committed patricide. No one will really forgive you for your actions. Han was so loved by all. He was more loved than you. Your wife almost chose to go with him over you. Why wouldn’t she want to be with someone like him? Why wouldn’t she want to be with anyone other than you? Now that you are out of the First Order you have no authority and no power. She has been training with Luke who she now calls ‘Father’ and must have learned much more form him that she did from you. You are struggling to bond with Anakin unlike Luke who the child will probably call ‘Father’ as well. He might as well find someone else to call ‘Father’ after you face Emperor Palpatine. How can the weakest Skywalker face up to the supreme Sith?”

The voice in Ben’s mind is the clearest to you. It is almost as if the voice is in your own head. This is none of their own voices. It is all the same voice. Only one person would be capable of infiltrating minds, reading them, finding their fears and insecurities, project a disguised voice, and from a great distance. It must be Palpatine. But why would he try to turn the minds when he is “undefeatable”?

“He is afraid,” You whisper out loud. That is it. He must be afraid because he is about to be faced with the Jedi Master son of Darth Vader, a Wookie with a loyalty so strong it has transcended to even to the third generation, a girl with such a strong raw force power she could defeat a highly trained force wielder, and the most powerful possessor of the Skywalker blood. And the purpose is not even to face Palpatine. He is not even the target. How small he actually is in comparison to the true goal of this mission. It must me scary to know that you are not considered the most important thing in a mission carried out by a group like this. But your loved ones need to break out of this negative mind hold Palpatine is holding over them.

“Shut the fuck up!” You scream startling everyone and drawing their attention to you.

“What is-” Luke starts.

“Stop listening to the voice in your head. It is not _your_ voice and it is not true. None of it is true,” You call them out making them all uncomfortable that you have penetrated their minds.

“As yourselves, do you really believe what that voice was saying? We have had our shares of failures and successes and mistakes, but we are not failures, frauds, useless, burdens or weak! We should not be afraid. We have each other and where one of us lacks, the others make up for it. I do not care about defeating Palpatine. He is not our goals here. We are here for Hanamé. Palpatine is just an annoyance that wants to impeded our path. But our focus is not killing that which we hate, but on saving what we love. Our love drives us and strengthens us. Not even the force is greater than love. And that scares Palpatine. That is why he is trying to project his fear into us to make us afraid. We must not let ourselves fall to fear.”

Luke is the first to smile at your words. He nods agreeing with you and the others follow into the agreement.

“You are right. It is not us who should be afraid,” Luke verbally confirms his concurrence before turning to Rey, “Rey, let us go and meditate before our arrival. It is the Jedi way.”

Rey smiles and gets up excited that Luke will teach her more of the Jedi way even now. Luke stands.

“Chewie, could you send the way finder details to the Resistance should they desire to come after us?” Luke requests of the Wookie. Chewie nods and gets up so he can reach a secure communication device in the main hold. With all leaving the room, you sit in Chewie’s spot next to Ben. You look to your husband. He is not as relaxed as Luke was. You heard the thoughts in his head.

“Ben, those things he was saying in your head-”

“They are true,” Ben cuts you off.

“But they aren’t,” you grab and take his hand.

“They are. I am everything he was saying in my head. I am the weakest of my bloodline. I’m a poor husband and a disconnected father,” Ben frowns still looking ahead.

“You are not. You are father who cares so much about his children you have literally crossed the galaxy to fight for them. You may not have been present for everything but neither have I. And you are a wonderful husband. I have no true complaints about anything in our marriage.”

Only Ben’s eyes shift to you.

And you are not the weakest of your bloodline. You are a descendant of a queen, three of the most powerful force-users, and the best damn smuggler in the galaxy. You have their intelligence, strength and most important of all you have a passion and love that all in your family had. The force is strong in your family but the love in it is even stronger. You out of all of them have the most love and therefore you are the strongest of your bloodline.”

Ben’s whole face has turned to your now. A faint smile grows. He knows you are not lying. He leans and reaches as he does. His hand goes behind your head and pulls you to him till you lips meet. You put your hands on his face to hold him there.

“We can do this,” He lets go of your head and leans back.

“We can,” you do not let go of his face. He smiles and pulls away from you. Ben looks away but take one of your hands in his. You look ahead too. You can do this. You both can do this.


	137. News of Ajan Kloss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Misfortune has struck and I have injured my wrist so I'm essentially typing with one hand. So writing is taking some extra time. Thank you guys for your patience and understanding. Please, enjoy this chapter.

# Chapter 137

“Finn, there is a message from the First Order,” Rose comes to Finn who has just exited the ship’s lavatory. Finn quickly follows Rose to the bridge. He smiles in hope it is a message of the First Order’s defeat. Of course, that would not be something the First Order would message others about. With Finn on the bridge, the captain looks to the communications officer who has the power to play the message.

Finn’s stomach cramps seeing the projected image of red-haired Supreme Leader donned in white. Supreme Leader Hux stands with hands behind his back, chest puffed out, and an arrogant smirk on his face.

“The Resistance has fallen. Ajan Kloss is now the graveyard of the foolish rebels that dared to defy the First Order. I allowed only Princess Leia Organa to survive but do not worry, she shall soon meet the same fate as her ill-advised allies did on Ajan Kloss. So, rebels, be wise and concede. You are outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and frankly out-planned. You have no one left in command. Free yourselves of the childish hope you can rise up. You cannot. The First Order now rules the galaxy, it is the new Empire. I am the new Emperor. No ragtag team of misfits will be able to changed that. Submit yourself to the First Order now or…be exterminated.” The self-proclaimed ruler of the galaxy ends his message with a twisted smile. His image disappears.

The bridge is silent. Ajan Kloss was discovered? It was one of the best hidden bases in the galaxy. How did they find it? And all are dead?

Each member thinks on at least person they knew who would be stationed on the moon base. Finn’s mind goes directly to Poe, Rey and you. Poe told him via private communication that he had returned to base earlier. You and Rey made no such contact. Maybe you and Rey are safe but Poe…Poe is dead.

Oh, Poe…Finn thinks of the suave pilot with sunbursts in his eyes. Poe was the first real person he interacted with outside of the First Order. He was his first ‘buddy’ as Poe liked to say. Poe taught him how to shoot in a ship, Poe always believed in Finn and trusted him from the very beginning. Not even Rey trusted him at first. Poe also always lit up when Finn would come in a room. And in truth, Finn always felt more at ease and also strangely excited when Poe was near. Now, Poe is dead. He is dead just like Slip.

Finn presses his thick lips together and tries not to shed any tears. Crying was absolutely forbidden in the First Order. Rose notices Finn’s toughened face and knows in her heart that Finn is sad. She put her hand on his arm.

“I’m sure Rey is still on Mustafar or has just left there. She could not have been on Ajan Kloss,” she brings up the girl. She knows she should not be jealous of the other girl, but she is. It is so clear to her that Finn cares for Rey in a way more than a friend cares for a friend.

“I know, but Poe…Poe was,” Finn reveals to Rose who he is thinking of. Rose presses her lips together now too and nods her head. The pilot was there.

“Oh, no,” Finn grabs his head suddenly.

“What is it?” Rose is shocked by the move,

“Meia’s baby. Her son was left on base. He spared Leia but…the baby…did he kill the baby too?” Finn thinks of you. You will be heartbroken and devastated if your child is dead. He has seen you witht eh child. He knows how much you love him even if he does look like Kylo Ren. 

“Captain Braun!” The communications officer suddenly yelps.

“What is it, Squires?” Captain Braun rubs her forehead as to relieve the tension there that comes from not crying.

“There is a message from Ajan Kloss,” Squires points to the board in front of her.

“From Ajan Kloss?” All in the room look to Squires and her board.

“That’s impossible. Unless it is a distress call from earlier,” Rose shakes her head.

“It is new. Should I play it, Ma’am?” Squires’ eyes go to her captain. Captain Braun nods. Squires presses from the message to project and play. All look on with the knowledge this could be the last distress call of their allies.

Poe Dameron is projected in the air. His clothes are in disarray and darkened with soot. His eyes are red and his hair is disheveled. He holds in his right arm you son who sits upright and stares out as if to the people watching.

“This is Poe Dameron of the Resistance. I am sure you all have heard General Hux’s message by now. I have as well. It is true that Ajan Kloss was attacked by the First Order. Almost all have been killed. I have begun to honor our deceased heroes by burning their bodies. I have to believe Hux that General Organa is still alive as I have yet to find her remains anywhere. But obviously, Hux was wrong in saying there are no other survivors. I am alive and General Organa’s grandson is alive.”

Some relief comes over Finn hearing and seeing this. His buddy is alive and your son is too. You will be comforted to know this.

“I am sending this message out from the base on Ajan Kloss. The communication system is still functioning, I have even received a map from Luke Skywalker’s group on where they are headed. So, we can know that Luke Skywalker is still alive. Even though we have the legendary Jedi still with us, I know were have suffered a great loss. We may suffer another should Hux make good on his intentions with General Organa. But this does not mean that we should give up. We should not give in to Hux’s demands. If we stop fighting for what is right, then the sacrifices made today and the sacrifices made long before now have been for nothing. We will rebuild and be stronger as our forefathers and foremothers did before us. Have courage my fellow rebels. Have courage and carry on,” Poe ends his message.

The bridge is quiet. Though Poe calls for courage and to fight on, the ship is still in shock, grief and doubt. Their top secret base was found. The core group of the Resistance is dead. Their leader is gone and possibly dead as well. How can they go on?

“We need to get to Ajan Kloss. Someone has to rescue Poe and that baby,” Rose speaks up first out of everyone. Hearing a task that is possible, the ship’s inhabitants begin to move again. They set their course for Ajan Kloss.

* * *

“Hello, Princess,” Hux enters the prison cell of his captive from Ajan Kloss. Leia sits on the bench provided in the room; her hands have been securely locked in hand encasing shackles. And her feet have been connected to a chain that attaches the bench beneath her. Her hair has miraculously stayed in the braided halo on her head. She does bear the mark on her temple where Hux hit her with his blaste.r

“General Hux,” She responds.

“Not General anymore. I’m not even Supreme Leader anymore. I’m Emperor Hux now,” He smiles.

“Emperor?” Leia furrows her brows.

“The First Order has taken over the galaxy. It is now the new empire. As its ruler I am the new Emperor,” he smiles as he explains this to her.

“The entire galaxy? Really?”

“You doubt me?” He crosses his arms.

“The First Order has many strong holds but with the destruction of Starkiller Base, the damage during our space battle, the assassination of the original Supreme Leader, and a new Supreme Leader who has no force ability, those who feared the First Order will come to see the First Order is unpredictable and falling apart even within itself. You may have done some damage on Ajan Kloss but it will only rally my rebels more. We thrive when we are knocked down. We always get back up. But the First Order…even the smallest blow and you will fall. The First Order is supposed to be a symbol of power, strength, and domination but your group has been bested twice. How mighty is an army that fails twice to one less than half its size?”

Hux’s ear and face become flushed as he listens to the older woman. She is not wrong. There have already been some small rebellions from some outer planet worlds and the core planets are becoming resistant as well. 

“So, this is no new Empire and you are much less than an Emperor, _General_ Hux,” Her brown eyes and raised head only remind him of the smug Kylo Ren. He would huff and storm out or maybe slapped the woman, but Hux smiles.

“We may have been weakened from the past occurrences you mentioned and I may not be force-sensitive like your bastard of a son, princess, but before the day is done, my army will have increased a hundredfold. I will not need the force to command the most powerful army ever known. I will obliterate any who oppose me and you and your family will cease to exist.”

Leia rolls her eyes.

“And how will you do this, _General_?”

Hux laughs as he straightens himself so he dwarfs the woman on the bench. He looks down his nose at the leader of his enemy.

“I have made a deal. I turn you into my new friend and he gives me a newer, bigger army.”

“And who wants me?” Leia is not impressed with his bragging.

“Emperor Palpatine,” Hux grins. Leia loses all expression then cracks a smile. Her laugh echoes in the chamber. Hux scowls. This was not the reaction he thought he would receive.

“Emperor Palpatine is dead, you brainless nerf herder. My father killed him.”

“Ah, but Darth Vader’s betrayal did not cause the end for Emperor Palpatine. His Sith legions were able to help him resurrect from the dead,” Hux informs Leia who looks at him as if he were an idiot.

“Is that so?” She still does believe.

“Don’t believe me? Then I will prove it?” Hux reaches into his pocket and pulls out a communicator. He has the stored missed messages play. A hooded figure is projected. Leia looks at the figure that is missing a few fingers.

“Hux-” The mere start of the hologram’s voice makes Leia shudder. It is Palpatine. She had the voice often in her childhood when he would address the public in intragalactic messages. It almost made her cringe but not as much as now. How can the dead be alive?

“You need not to bring Kylo to me. He is already on course for Exegol now with Skywalker. Just bring Princess Leia to me. I will give you your reward then.” The message is short but enough to put fear into Leia. Hux puts away the communicator. Seeing Leia’s less humored face, Hux can smile.

“Now, you can give up your hope, princess. Soon you will be dead along with Kylo and Skywalker, I will have my army, and the Resistance will cease to exist,” Hux brings his hand to his shoulder to smooth his cape there.

Leia is still trying to process how Palpatine was brought back to life but she also will not let Hux believe her lost as he does now.

“Actually, now my hope is strengthened. You are taking me to my son and brother, two of the most powerful force users in the galaxy. Rey and my daughter-in-law who have been trained well in the Force will be there too. Palpatine looks to be in rough shape. We will be to destroy him easily. Then you will be next. You will die as will the First Order,” Leia smiles and Hux does not. His nostrils flare with her lack of fear and her new threats. He takes a deep breath.

“You may want to keep up this act when you face Emperor Palpatine. It is far more princess-like to face one’s death with some decorum and courage,” Hux spins on his heel making his cape ‘whoosh’ as he does. He leaves the prison cell. Leia exhales and lowers her head. Facing Palpatine will not be as easy as she acted. If even Darth Vader could not kill Palpatine, then how could she?

Leia shakes away the thoughts. She must mediate. She must focus and be one with the Force. She must be one with the Force.


	138. Exegol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my ever patient readers! Thank you all for your comments, kudos, patience and understanding! My wrist is feeling much better after some rest. I hope no one gave up on this story because of the wait. You guys are so encouraging and make writing this story more worth it. I love you all! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 138

Having evaded the lightning flashing through the sky and striking the black earth of Exegol, the Millennium Falcon lands. The group stands at the lowered door of the ship as they prepare to go out to seek Hanamé and possibly encounter the resurrected Emperor Palpatine. Your group received the messages from both Supreme Leader Hux and Poe only setting a heavier cloud on your heads. You would have been distraught had Poe’s message not arrived in your system before Hux’s message. You would had never forgiven yourself if you let Anakin only for him to be killed. But he is alive and with Poe. You can have some comfort in that. 

You feel a faint but familiar warmth. It is the warmth you feel from Ben and you have felt from Anakin but you know it is not Ben or Anakin’s warmth that you are feeling. It is as if there is a string tied around your heart that is also tied around the one who possesses this warmth. The string is shrinking and pulling you. It must be Hanamé. 

“I feel-” You start.

“Hanamé. I feel her too,” Ben finishes and touches his chest. You smile knowing he too can sense your child.

 **Crack!** The ship shakes and the lights shut off. The emergency lights come back on in the ship.

“We must have been struck,” Luke relays the thought all have about what has occurred.

“We don’t have time to stay here and fix the ship. Uncle Chewie, can you stay behind and fix the ship with R2D2?” Ben looks in the direction of the Wookie who stands near the droid. Chewie agrees to do the task and the droid does not protest.

“Then let’s go,” Ben leads. You two start down the ramp first with Rey and Luke tailing you two. Ben has taken his lightsaber into his hand. You and the others copy him as to be prepared for any dangerous out in this secret Sith world.

Crossing the charcoal desert plains, you approach a massive, upside down pyramid that hovers above the ground. Coming to doorless floating stone structure, you do not feel Hanamé above you. Ben moves before you can to a platform in the middle of the ground. The four of you step on it and it begins to lower.

Sinking slowly as if in quicksand, you look around and see the gigantic status of who you assume are sith carved in this deep pit’s stone. Even beneath the ground there is flashes of light from the lightning. The decagon platform reaches the ground leagues beneath its starting point. Now you do not even reach the ankle of the Sith’s feet. You step closer to Ben’s side once off the platform. The suffocating darkness from before is upon you. But you will not let it snuff out the warmth that you feel leading you to the one this is all for. You feel his free hand take your free hand. He too feels the oppressive darkness. How could he not? You look back to Rey and Luke. Luke retains a stone face but Rey’s forehead gives away her concern. But you know she is brave and will not run.

 **Pew. Pew.** Red blasts are shot at your troupe from a distance. That shots are deflected with lightsabers. More shooters come out revealing their red Sith Trooper uniforms. They begin to fire unceasingly. You have had to let go of Ben’s hand so that he may shoot at the shooters while deflecting their shots. Though the troopers outnumber you all three to one, Ben’s aim evens the count then diminishes it to none.

“Wahhh!” A distant cry comes. It is not the cry of a wounded trooper or an adult. It is a cry of a baby, your baby. The pull is even stronger. You need to go forward and to the right.

“Hanamé,” You and Ben look to each other. You two take the steps toward the direction where you know Hanamé is. You do not get far as more Sith troopers begin their approach.

“You two go! We will fend them off,” Luke points for you two to go. Running hand-in-hand, you and Ben barely make it out of view of the shooters. You both deactivate your lightsaber as to not draw attention to yourselves.

Luke and Rey stand side to side with weapons ready. Their hearts pound in sync. They both take deep breathes before charging the troopers. The red blasts either fly pass the Jedis or is met by the blue and green sabers. Luke holds out his hand and causes some blasts to avoid him and fly into walls. Rey is able to send other shooters flying into the statue’s shins. After back breaking contact, they fall to the ground lifeless. Luke is able to strike down his enemies who try to dodge his blows. Rey copies her master as an apprentice should.

With the red masked and suited enemy on the ground, the master and apprentice exchange smiles and nods. But their victory is not something they have time to savor as another platoon comes their way.

The warmth grows on you as if you were nearing sunlight in this underground fortress. You cannot stop yourself from starting to smile. She is so close. Hanamé is so close!

Ben stops suddenly which only makes you stop as well. You notice now what Ben does. Three dark figures come forward. You know them but not as well as Ben. You follow Ben’s gaze as he turns his head to the other side. Three more people approach from the other side. The Knights of Ren have their weapons out as they approach their leader.

The knights begin to circle about you and your husband. Their presence, out weapons, and their movement only shows their intentions and their lack of loyalty to Ben. Ben knows this. He knows he is no longer their leader. He may have never truly been either. It makes sense. It was Snoke who had given him the knights to master. He should have known that despite their developed comradery over the years, these men were not his true friends or followers.

“Wahh!” the cry comes again.

 _You need to go and find Hanamé. I will stay here._ Ben speaks to your mind.

_No, I’m not leaving you._

_You have to go. When you see the opportunity, go._

You do not argue any further with Ben on this issue. He will not change his mind.

“I suppose I should not be surprised by this. But as we were something like friends, I will give you all the chance to back down instead of being killed,” Ben offers the masked knights around him. They scoff at him.

“It is you who will die, Kylo. You and that bitch,” Cardo snarls behind his mask. The term makes Ben’s blood boil more than yours. Ben turns on his lightsaber. The knights unintentionally step back. Seeing their unintended show of fear, Ben smirks. He nods his head and flexes his hands to them signaling he is ready.

Ben makes the first move by striking and killing Cardo. With the knight’s fall, you use the force to help propel you as you jump over his still falling body Having broken the circle, you run. The knights stay focused on destroying their former master.

Ben dances around the circle allowing his saber to clash with the weapons of his former friends. His weapon proves far superior to theirs as to be expected. As he breaks through the combined weapons of Ap-Lek and Ushar. He bends over and brings his lightsaber to cover his back when Trudgen trying to smite Ben with his vibrocleaver. Ben spins and returns to being upright in time to block Vicrul’s scythe. Seeing Kuruk before him near a chasm, Ben lifts his free hand and pushes the knight into the chasm. Ben is able to cut through Vicrul’s scythe and slices his former number two through the chest.

Ap-Lek rushes toward Ben but he plunges his lightsaber into the chest. It is especially satisfying to end this life this knight for Ben as he never really forgave him for feeling you up on Naboo. But Ben has no time to savor this death as he still has Ushar to face. Ben runs then flips over Ushar while grabbing hold of the swinging knights’ shoulder. Landing behind Ushar, Ben runs his lightsaber through him. 

Ben pants now that all of his former acolytes are dead around him. However, Ben does not have time to relax or enjoy his victory. He must join you and find Hanamé.

You race through the rocky paths and void falling through the spread-out chasms. The ground becomes less holey and there is even stone laid to make a ceiling. The path has become a hallway now and you see opening that lead to empty rooms. You have seen this hallway many times in past visions of Hanamé. She will be in one of these rooms. You know it even if her cries have subsided.

“La la lu, la la lu…Oh, my little star sweeper, I’ll sweep the stardust for you,” The sweet voice finds your ears. You slow your running feet so that you do not make as much noise as you come near the open doorway from where the singing comes.

“La la lu, la la lu…Little soft fluffy sleeper, Here comes a pink cloud for you.”

You reach the doorway and peer inside. There rocking in a chair the woman you know is called Jie-Jie. Her long black hair swishes back and forth as she rocks. Her smiling face is turned down to the child in her arms. Your eyes wet knowing this is you daughter just there before you. You step into the doorway.

“La la lu, la la-” Jie-Jie stops. She turns her face away from Hanamé so she can look at who is in the doorway. Seeing you, she holds Hanamé to her chest as fear comes in to her small brown eyes.

“Who are you?” She shoots up from the rocking chair. You come into the room uninvited but you care not about manners. You only care about getting your daughter.

“I am her mother,” You answer stopping a few feet from Jie-Jie. Her lower lip trembles as she opens her mouth.

“But-But…Snoke had you killed,” She brings up what Snoke must have told her when he gave away Hanamé.

“He was wrong. I am alive and I am here to take my daughter home with me,” You hold out your arms and step closer which makes Jie-Jie step backwards. She manages to squeeze the baby closer to her which makes Hanamé moan in slight discomfort.

“No. No. Sheeva is not leaving me. She is mine and she will become the Emperor’s vessel,” She shakes her head.

“Jie-Jie,” You call her by her name.

“How do you know my name?” She is more fearful than curious.

“I have seen you in visions. I know you have been taking care of my daughter these past months. You have taken care of her just as you would have your own. I thank you for that but it is time for her to be with me, her true mother,” You keeps your arms out.

Jie-Jie shakes her head again.

“No. I have already lost one child, I will not lose another. I don’t care if you are her birth mother or not. She is mine. I will not lose her!”

You know if you kill her, she will no longer protest your rightful claim to your child. But you do not want to kill this woman. She has been mother to Hanamé since you could not be. You know she loves your daughter which gave you relief when you were parted from her. Still, you need your daughter back now. You cannot and will not leave her on this planet to be raised to be a vessel for the Emperor.

“Jie-Jie, please. You of all people must understand how painful it is to be separated from your child. You must understand that since she was taken from me that I had a piece of me missing, a piece I have been dying to have back. I know you lost your daughter Xia, but why do you want to cause me the same pain you have by keeping my daughter from me? Why would you ever want to cause another woman that pain and misery?” You feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

Jie-Jie lowers her own wet eyes to gaze upon Hanamé on who she loosens her hold. Jie-Jie has the power to make a choice. Jie-Jie has not had to make such a life altering decision since she agreed like many of Emperor Palpatine’s Sith disciples’ daughters to try to procreate with a Palpatine clone. She agreed in hopes she would excel where the others had failed. No one had ever reproduced successfully with a clone except for Anandra. She remembered that the prostitute who was brought to Exegol with several other fertile women for the purpose of reproduction with Sith disciples, had been impregnated by the Emperor’s clone. Keev had been the name of that clone. They had a daughter. She cannot remember the baby’s name now. But it was clear to all that the girl had a great force power even in her infancy. It had been a shock as Keev was actually a failed clone as he had no force sensitivity. Still, this child was the exact thing that the Emperor wanted. This girl was going to be the vessel the Emperor wanted. But the fools took the child and ran.

Ever since then, no one could do what they had done. But Jie-Jie did! She was chosen to become the partner of Hego. She more than pleased with the arrangement as she loved him. Then she became pregnant. She was held in the highest esteem even by the Emperor as her child was going to be another powerful Palpatine. But Xia was born too early and their time was cut short. Xia’s death not only broke her heart, but caused her and Hego to be cast aside as useless. Now, she has regained some favor by being the nurse and caregiver of Sheeva, the new vessel for Emperor Palpatine. This child has filled the void left by Xia and has given her and Hego a better standing. If she gives back the girl to her mother, Jie-Jie knows she will spare another woman from the pain she suffered in losing a child, but she will not be spared the pain of losing the child she has come to love or the wrath of the Emperor. Should she be selfless or selfish? She knows what Hego and the other Sith would advise her to do. It is her choice though.

What should she do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end is coming soon. I say this so you are all mentally prepared for that sad but hopefully satisfying day.


	139. The Progenitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Thank you for the comments and kudos! We are getting closer to the end....Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 139

“Please, Jie-Jie,” You chest has begun trembling and fire spreads from your chest to your eyes as you wait for Jie-Jie’s decision. The woman with the power and with the baby swallows the lump that has formed in her throat. She cannot meet your pleading, wet eyes.

“No. I cannot give her to you,” Jie-Jie decides. The air is knocked from your lungs with the rejection. Your hands fall but ball up at her decision. Your tight hands shake. The tears you had tried to hold back leak out.

“Then I will take her,” You start to take a step only for you to feel and arm around you making a rock-hard bar into your stomach. A flash of red burst forth in front of you. The light has come from a red lightsaber than is now at your neck. You can feel the heat at your tender flesh.

“Hego!” Jie-jie gives away the identity of the one who only has to have a muscle twitch to slit your throat. Your heartbeat is in your ears almost deafening you.

“You will not touch my wife or our daughter,” Hego declares defensively. You are surprised that now that the man who had told his wife not to get attach to the child now claims her for his own.

“She is not _your_ daughter. She is mine. I am her true mother,” You refuse to deny your claim. You shriek feeling the burning of your flesh as he presses even closer to your neck. He pulls it away to its first position.

“You are nothing and will be nothing to her,” His statement should have made you sob or at least made you doubt yourself. But you will not allow the words of a stranger shatter you.

“You clearly don’t know who I am.”

“I do know. I know exactly who you are,” He states then calls you by the name meant only for Ben’s lips. Your mouth drops. How does he know your secret name?

“How do you-”

“There are not many secrets between the Emperor and his last clone,” Hego reveals his relation to the Emperor.

“A clone?” You are shocked that this is what this man is and that her is of the Emperor’s DNA. 

“Now, you, Jie-Jie, Sheeva and I are going to go see the Emperor,” He informs of you of his plan. Jie-Jie keeps the desired child close to her as she passes you and Hego. Hego lets go of your body. His hand grabs your lightsaber from your holster and moves his lightsaber from your neck. He keeps his lightsaber on and pointed at your back.

“Follow her and don’t try anything funny,” he orders. You follow Jie-Jie. You do as told for disobeying would lead to your death and separation from Hanamé who you have yet to hold in your arms at least one more time.

* * *

Ben runs despite his Hanamé compass is not as strong as it once was. He comes to a fork in his path. He is unsure which way is the correct one. As he tries to decide he hears a voice.

“At last…”

Ben hears the voice belonging to the undead. He hears it to his left. He feels the unwanted need to follow the voice. He steps toward the left path but in doing so he feels his connection to his daughter growing weaker. Still, he cannot stop from heading left. He is able to draw his lightsaber out though.

“Snoke trained you well,” the voice praises the former Supreme Leader.

“My wife and I killed Snoke,” Ben remarks on Snoke’s demise then makes a threat, “I can kill you too.”

“My boy... I made Snoke...” the claim makes Ben stop.

He made Snoke?

“I have been every voice….” The voice suddenly switches to the all too familiar one of Snoke, “you have ever heard…”

The voice changes once more into the one he has only heard once before, the voice of Darth Vader, “…Inside your head.”

It is even clearer now to Ben who has begun walking again that he has been grossly manipulated. But that is over now. He will not be manipulated again by this monster.

Ben turns a corner and sees among the ruins, large tanks with amber water behind the glass. Inside are mangled corpses and clones of Snoke. Hooded followers of the non-visual Emperor tend to the tanks. Ben keeps walking and is ignored by the workers. He passes through a tight passage till he reaches pointed rocks that take a formation to make a throne. He sees he ins in an area resembling an amphitheater now.

“The First Order was just the beginning…I will give you so much more…” The Emperor intends to entice Ben.

“You’ll die first.”

“I have died before…” The voice is behind him making Ben spin around quickly.

Ben finally sees the source of the voice. He comes to a large contraption full of needles that is connected to a person hidden beneath a black robe.

“The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be....”

Ben holds up his lightsaber so he may have a better look at the former ruler of the Empire.

“Unnatural,” Palpatine finishes. Ben is disgusted at the man. He is barely being kept alive. His skin is pale and almost paper thin. His eyes are blind from cataracts. He is missing fingers and the ones he does possess are twisted and bony.

“What could you give me?” Ben huffs.

“Everything,” Palpatine claims. “A new Empire. I can give you the Final Order and with it you can conquer the galaxy. You can be what you grandfather Vader could not. You will rule the galaxy as the new Emperor and your wife can be your Empress.”

Ben can clearly see himself sitting in a large throne cut from black marble with silver veins in it. He is dressed in all black with a long flowing black cape. On his head is a simple iron circlet with large rubies. You stand next to his throne with your hand on his shoulder in an onyx-colored silk dress with slits up to your hips and a plunging neckline to show off your breasts. Around your neck is a long silver lariat necklace with a large red kyber crystal hanging at the end. Your hair is long and loose about you. His eyes and yours have both turned golden. Such an image would have made Kylo more than happy once. But he can see in this vision the lack of expression on your faces. You two are together like he always wants but it is just the two of you. Ben blinks and the vision is gone.

“This is what you want, isn’t it, Kylo Ren?” Palpatine refers to him by his temporary name. Ben knows what he wants, it is not what Palpatine has offered him. Ruling the galaxy is the desire of the new Supreme Leader.

Ben suddenly feels a familiar and despised presence as well as the calming one he has known since conception. Hux is here and Leia too. Ben remembers now Hux’s message. If Hux believes he is to be Emperor and he is here now where Palpatine is then…Palapatine has made the promise he is trying to make him now to Hux.

“Lower your weapon, Kylo,” Ben hears Hux behind him. Ben turns his head to see the Supreme Leader standing with a hand gripping the arm of Ben’s shackled mother at whom Hux also aims his blaster. A group of troopers are behind and to the side of Hux and Leia.

“Lower your weapon or I will shoot your rebel scum mother,” Hux threatens. He presses his blaster into Leia’s ribs but she does not even flinch. Ben keeps his arm stiff and pointed but he looks at his mother. He does not want her to die.

 _Don’t worry about me, Ben._ He can hear her talking to him in his head.

_But-_

_Don’t worry about me._

_Mom…_

“You have taken too long,” Palpatine interrupts and makes Ben’s head snap back to the old man. His peeling, chapped lips are spread and show his rotting teeth. His fingers have become turned to Ben. Before the young man can react, lightning leaves Palpatine’s fingers and strike Ben. Ben flies backward to the feet of his mother and Hux as his lightsaber scrapes across the floor elsewhere. He lays slightly singed but unconscious.

Leia wants to grab ahold of her son but she knows she cannot and should not especially now. Hux is sure to give Ben a kick in the ribs. He smiles that the man is defenseless before him.

“Bring forward the princess,” Palpatine speaks to Hux now. Hux kicks Ben again then steps on his leg on his way to Palpatine. Leia picks up her feet as not to injure her son. Nearing the plugged-up Emperor. Hux suddenly stops and therefore stops Leia with him.

You have followed Jie-Jie and your baby into the amphitheater with Hego still behind you. Entering the space you feel the coldness coming from everyone. Your eyes find Leia and her covered and bound hands. Her eyes flicker between you, the obvious baby bundle in Jie-Jie’s arms and then to Ben. Seeing Ben motionless on the floor, you heart starts to sink. Feeling his warmth in the force you know he is not dead.

Hux’s eyes are on you. He galled seeing the fresh burn that has marred your neck. He does not express this though as he is in a delicate situation here.

“Ah, very good, Hego,” Palpatine smiles to the clone. Jie-Jie has stopped walking but Hego grabs you by your upper arm and leads you before Palpatine. Hux finishes bringing Leia closer as well. You can see Palpatine’s weathered, hideous face. You cringe at the sight and do not care if he notices which you wonder if he can given his obvious cataracts.

Hego and Hux step back having presented the women to Palpatine. Hux stares at your back. You can feel his eyes on you, but you do not look back at him. You still abhor the man and would rather gaze upon the Emperor now than the wannabe.

“Bring forward the Solo boy as well,” Palpatine points beyond you and Leia. Hux and Hego go and grab hold of Ben’s body and drag him next to you. You bend down to check on him. He has a strong pulse and his breathing is not labored.

“He is not dead. He would not be useful to me if he were,” Palpatine states. You stand up from Ben’s body.

Loud shuffling rings in this amphitheater. Your attention is drawn to all the rows of seating surrounding you. The endless flashing lightning sheds light on hooded figures fill the rows and take seats wordlessly. When all are seated, a chant begins. Your skin prickles and the hairs there as well stand up straight hearing the eerie vocalization.

“Leia! Meia!” You hear Rey shout as she comes into the area with lightsaber in her hand. She stops realizing what she has entered into now. Luke appears and immediately gains a battle stance. He looks around and sees that they are quite out numbered. Still, the Jedi comes closer to his sister and daughter-figure. Rey keeps to her master’s side also prepare to attack. Luke look upon his oldest foe. Palpatine smiles.

“Long have I waited…” Palpatine begins looking over the group before him. “for all of my family to come home.”

Family? The word are strange to the ears of the captive group, at least they are strange coming from this Sith who is not family to them.

“I know the connection is unknown to you all. But without me none of you would exist. I am the progenitor of both the Palpatine line and the Skywalker one,” the claim is outrageous to those who hear. There could be no way this was possible. Luke knew of his grandmother Shmi. Uncle Owen told him of her and how she had miraculously conceived and bore Luke’s father on her own. That is what was told to Owen and his father and so was told unto Luke. This had to be the way especially as a lowly slave on Tatooine like Shmi Skywalker would ever have anything to do with a social elite like Sheev Palpatine.

“It is all true. It was I was the one who learned to manipulate midi-clorians. It was I who experimented on the slave girl. It was become of me that she became pregnant from my manipulations. It is because of me that Anakin Skywalker was conceived and born. I am your true grandfather, Luke and Leia. I am the true beginning of your line,” Palpatine takes pleasure in the astonishment of the older twins.

“And you, Rey…Do you see Hego there?” Palpatine points without looking to the clone. Rey’s eyes finally land on the man. Instantly she recognizes him. Her heart leaps and lips twitch in desire to smile.

“Dad?” She mumbles.

“He is not your father. He is but a clone of myself as was your foolish father Keev,” Palpatine continues.

“What?” Rey takes a step back trying to process this. Her mind suddenly opens and she can see her past. Yes, this place is familiar. Even this horrid creature of a man is familiar. Hego is just as her father but her father looked at her lovingly. Her mother…she would sing. Rey knows she looked like her mother. Then they left on an old ship. Then they were on Jakku. Yes. Her father called her mother Anandra and she called him Keev. But on Jakku they did not go by Palpatine. They were the…what is the name…they were the…the…the…the Milon family.

“I had many clones. Snoke was my most successful one. Hego too is successful and the last of my clones. Keev, your father, was not. He looked like me but had no power. He was soft and sensitive from a flaw in his incubation. But he and that Alderaanian whore from Coruscant had you. You have so much of _my_ power. Your treacherous parents fled with you to keep you from fulfilling your destiny. But now you come home, Rey. Now, you and the rest of your family are here and reparations can be made,” Palpatine grins not noticing that so much lips use has made the cracks begin to bleed.

“Reparations?” Leia is the one to speak.

“Yes. It is time that you all give back what _I_ have given you.”


	140. The Rise of Skywalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers! Happy Valentine's Day! Thank you all for the comments and kudos! They have been so encouraging. This chapter is the second to last chapter just so you are all aware. Also this chapter does share the same name as the final film in the Star Wars Sequels but do not worry the ending is different than J.J. Abrams's.  
> Please, enjoy this chapter

# Chapter 140

“It is time that you all give back what _I_ have given you.” Palpatine states to his gathered progeny. Nerves are on edge as it is unknown what the undead wants as reparation from them.

“And what would that be?” Luke asks the Emperor.

“Your lives,” Palpatine speaks as if this is the natural answer to the question. He holds out his hands and immediately those who stands are lifted. Luke and Rey’s lightsabers are flung out of their hands. The four are brought to their knees. None can move. They all grimace in the pain.

Ben’s eyes open he merely lifts his head and sees his struggling family and the grinning emperor. He pushes himself up with a start and summons his lightsaber to his hand.

“Ah!” He goes to strike the Sith lord but is caught in the air by the aware force wielder. Ben’s lightsaber falls from his hand as he is dangled in the air.

Palpatine tuts his tongue in disapproval. He is able to use the force to bring Ben back to your side.

“I will take your and your wife’s first as you are so eager, young Solo,” He knows closes his fingers to his palm. You both give soundless screams as your lifeforce is suddenly ripped from your bodies. You both are left suspended and powerless in the air like the others.

Palpatine looks down somewhat astonished.

“Your lifeforce of your bond…” He watches his fingers regrow to their former strong, whole selves. There is only one explanation, “A dyad in the force….”

A gleeful laugh leaves his lips.

“I never thought I would see one again. But here you two are after so many generations. Snoke had thought it would be our Rey who would be your equal, Solo. He even tried to bridge your minds in the force. But it is clear now that it your wife that is your true half,” Palpatine gestures to you.

Dyad? You read of it once I the ancient texts. It something rare in the Force. If you and Ben are a dyad…it make so much sense now why you two were drawn together. Why you had the need to not be parted from him. Why despite training and logic, you two gave into the almost unnatural desires within you. Why it is with each other, you both strive in the force. Why when you two were still in contact via the force even lightyears apart. Why you felt Ben’s pain. You two are the halves of one whole. This is what Luke must have been looking up after you suffered Ben’s pain when Han died. It makes so much sense now.

“I must admit I am surprised that it is Anandra’s bastard that proved to be the other half. I cannot believe the powerful daughters that lowly whore bore. I am almost disappointed I had her and Keev killed by Ochi,” He belittles your and Rey’s mother as well as reveals her and Rey’s father’s fate. Rey’s heart sinks knowing she will never be reunited with her parents.

“But I am pleased to know that your strong genetics have passed to you and you have brought forth a child worthy to be my vessel.” Palpatine gestures now to Hanamé.

Your eyes can barely turn to Jie-Jie. She remains expressionless but her hold on your daughter is still tight.

“It is a shame the boy had not inherited the rest of his family’s power. He has too much Solo in him. You can thank our tempestuous princess for that,” Palpatine scowls at Leia.

“It does not matter now. I have my strong vessel and a dyad. Your bond is a power like life itself. See how it restore me,” He holds out his hands, “Now, the power of two restores the one, true Emperor!”

Darth Sidious holds out his rejuvenated hands to the couple. Laughing maniacally, he sucks the lifeforce from you both. You are unable to resist and close your eyes as your scream in pain. Ben is next to you with eyes open and on the soul sucker. Leia, Luke and Rey watch horrified as they three are also unable to intercede as they are trapped. 

Palpatine bleeding, chapped lips heal over as does ever sore on his wrinkled body. His skin thickens as does his hair. His eyes are cleared and his golden irises return to them. he does regain his youth but he has returned to the body he possessed when he first overtook the galaxy. He releases you and Ben.

Your bodies drop to the floor. What else can they do? Your lifeforce is…is gone.

Palpatine removes himself from the contraption that had held him for so long these past years. He is free to walk now on the ground. He smiles devilishly. The seated Sith chant in pleasure at the sight of their leader. Hego chants with them. Supreme Leader Hux looks around with a puckered brow and a glower.

“This is not what you promised!”

Hux steps forward growing red in the face. The Sith grow silent and all eyes (excluding those held captive by Palpatine) are on the Supreme Leader.

“You promised that once I brought you Leia and the others, you would give me your fleet and the galaxy. _I_ am to be Emperor!” Hux reminds golden eyed geriatric of the formerly made vow. The hooded Sith lifts his head high as Hux approaches him.

“I am to be the Emperor of this galaxy! That is what was promised!” Hux repeats.

The dark lord of the Sith outstretches his hand and the former general’s finds his throat. He chokes against his will.

“I have no time for whining brats,” Palpatine gives a good squeeze of his hand. Hux falls to the floor. His eyes wide open but his throat crushed. The ever loyal First Order Troopers shoot at the killer of their Supreme Leader. With a wave of his hand, Palpatine sends the blasts back into the heads of the troopers who immediately fall down dead just like their Supreme Leader.

“Hego, take the child from Jie-Jie,” The self-proclaimed progenitor turns his attention on the couple not trapped by his force.

“Yes, Sir,” Hego steps to his wife having turned off his lightsaber and put it away. He takes Hanamé from Jie-Jie’s arms. As he does, Palpatine to your fallen body. He kneels down and touches your neck. Your pulse is still there. He rises but not does check on Ben. He holds out his hand toward Jie-Jie.

“Hah -uh-uh,” Her throat begins to close in on itself. Her bulging eyes go to her husband.

“What are you doing?” Hego looks to his creator.

“Jie-Jie is weak and produces weak children. Sheeva’s true mother is here and strong. She will return to being Sheeva’s mother. We can also use her to produce more, strong Sith children. Jie-Jie’s contribution is finished.

“But I-” Hego starts.

“He--go-,” Jie-jie reaches out for her husband. He wants to take it but before he can, her struggled breathing ends. Her eyes lose their light and she reduced to copying those who have also died in this hour. Jaw dropped and eyes blurred with tears, Hego looks to his wife’s fresh corpse. He drops to his knees and lays the child next to Jie-Jie’s body.

“Get up, boy. Do not waste your time on her,” Palpatine hisses. Hego stands up as told but her grabs a hold of his lightsaber.

“Ahhhh!” He takes a run at the Emperor. For the first time, Palpatine is genuinely surprised the clone. Never had Hego ever disobeyed him. Now, the clone dares to attack him and over the sack of a woman? How weak.

Palpatine allows Hego close enough to try to strike before he catches the man by the throat and rips the lightsaber from his hands. He plunges it into the Clone’s chest instantly killing the last of his experiments. He uses the force to toss Hego away in the direction of his lost love.

“Now, to finish off the rest of you,” Palpatine cares not for his clone-son’s broken heart. Hego’s emotions are not a priority at all. Darth Sidious comes before his grandchildren. Holding out his hands he sucks their lifeforce from them as well. They are mute but their strained faces give away their pain. Their force does not heal and repair like yours and Ben but the strength he sucks from them in even more empowering. Satisfied with taking all from them, he allows them to fall to the ground.

The Sith chant again in celebration of Darth Sidious’s success. He accepts their praise with a smile. He is once again victorious. He takes his place on his throne and sits.

“We shall take the galaxy again, my brethren. Our fleet shall rise and rid the galaxy of the pestilent Resistance and the reckless First Order,” Palpatine raises his hands. The ceiling above the amphitheater opens revealing the sky. The First Order fleet is above them. But out of almost nowhere the Sith fleet rises up from their grave on the dark planet.

Not knowing they are leaderless; the First order waits for a communication from Supreme Leader Hux. Are these old Imperial ships to join their fleet as Hux told his admirals on the way here?

The Imperial ships begin to shoot down those of the First Order. Knowing now these are not their new allies, the admirals aboard direct their men to fire back. Ship explodes above them causing the Sith to cheer. Their victory is nigh.

Ben’s eyes open. Once more he finds himself on the ground. But this time you lie on the ground next to him. He reaches his hand toward. Making contact with your flesh, he feels your warmth and pulse. He starts to rise up and sees his mother, uncle and sister-in-law have fallen while Palpatine watches the battle taking place in the sky. Luke grunts and opens his eyes. He lifts his head and makes eye contact with his nephew. They glance at the emperor then back to each other. They nod to each other. Luke and Ben rise up and make a start for their family’s true enemy.

The Emperor quickly notice the approaching men. He needs only to lift his finger ton stop them. He brings them up higher into the air.

“As once I fell, so shall fall the Skwaylkers,” He growls. Together, Ben and Luke fly back into a chasm. Ben hits some of the jutting stones as he falls into the electric chasm while Luke barely hits another breaking his arm. They fall into the smoky abyss. The Emperor returns his eyes to the sky.

Falling, the men try to grab a hold of something, anything to keep from going further down to their demise. Their hands are shredded by the stones they attempt to grab on their way down.

“Ah!” Ben successfully grabs hold of one stone. Luke finally is able to grip onto one with his unbroken arm. They panting uncle and nephew look to each other and crack a smile. Both are safe.

“I was worried there for a moment,” Luke laughs.

**Crack.**

The stone breaks and Luke falls. Ben reaches out and grabs his older Skywalker’s hand. Luke looks up at his savior. Ben has caught Luke’s bleeding hand with his own. Though Luke can feel Ben’s muscles flexing to hold on tightly to him, he feels himself slipping. Ben grits his teeth as his body is straining to support both himself and Luke by holding on to a single stone with a wounded hand. Luke can also see the large gash across Ben’s back. It bleeds profoundly the more he holds this strained pose. 

**Crick.**

Luke and Ben both hear the stone Ben holding starting to lose its integrity with the weight. Two men is too much. Luke knows this. Ben knows too. Ben’s eyes look around for something for Luke to grab onto like another rock or even just a hole his hand or foot can fit into nearby. He sees nothing. He is all Luke can hold onto that is not above them. 

Luke only looks at Ben. Han is so clear in his features. Even his new style reminds Luke of Han. He hopes that Ben will be a more involved father than his best friend. He saw glimpses of Ben with Anakin back on Ajan Kloss. He knows that Han’s paternal love has been passed to Ben who gives it all to Anakin. Ben’s eyes and attentiveness are absolutely from Leia though. He truly the best of his parents even with though he did choose to embrace darkness for so long. Now, he has chosen light. Luke wishes he had been able to help with that but it was all his own choice to do this. Still, Luke is proud of his nephew.

“I can try to toss you to hold onto my back and-” Ben begins to tell Luke his plan on how to have both of them survive. He tries to pull Luke up but this only makes Luke slip slightly in his hand.

“Ben,” Luke simply says the younger man’s name.

“What?”

“Let me go.”

“What!” Ben’s eyes grow as if outraged at the suggestion.

“Let me go, Ben. _You_ must survive.”

“But you are Luke Skywalker. You are the galaxy’s hero and the greatest Jedi Master. If anyone will defeat Palpatine and free my daughter it will be you. _You_ must live.” Despite the years of hating on his former master, Ben holds him now so highly in his eyes.

“Heroes emerge when they are needed most whether they are a Jedi Master or student he did wrong,” Luke pauses. “I’m sorry, Ben. I truly am.”

The years of hate that embedded itself into Ben’s being somehow dissipates. He gives his uncle a smile that indicates his acceptance of the apology.

“Now, let me go, Ben,” Luke starts to release his fingers from Ben’s hand. Ben’s hold is even tighter.

“Uncle…” Ben does not want to let go.

“It’s okay, Ben,” Luke wants to go. With an aching, Ben releases Luke.

“I’ll see you around, kid,” Luke smiles. Ben watches as Luke falls. Luke stares up at the boy he loved who embodied the ones he loved most. It is well with him. Ben gasps as Luke’s body vanishes leaving only his clothes to fall. 

* * *

Leia’s eyes open upon feeling the tear in her soul. She knows Luke is gone. She sheds a tear for the loss but takes a breath. She turns her head slowly and sees that you and Rey lie on either side of her still unconscious. Ben is nowhere to be seen and Luke too is gone. She finds Palpatine on his throne watching the sky full of smoking ships. Leia feels a breeze on her hands. She finds that as Palpatine sucked her lifeforce, he broke her shackles from her hands. It is a shame she cannot move them or any other part of her body besides her head. She feels a pain her chest. Is she having a heart attack?

So, this is how it ends? I die paralyzed on the floor having a heart attack while Palpatine take my granddaughter as his vessel and slaughters those I love? The Republic will be obliterated and the galaxy is turned into a Sith Empire? Is this how it ends? Does darkness defeat the light? Leia’s mind wonders and she closes her eyes to shield them from her fate.

_Leia._

She opens her eyes but no one is there.

_Leia._

She stares into the sky searching for the owner of the voice. Her eyes begin to go beyond the amphitheater, beyond the battling ship, beyond the planet’s atmosphere and to the stars. How lovely are the stars…

“Mama, what are stars?” Leia remembers asking her mother as a child on Alderaan one evening. Breha smiled to her adopted child. She could have given her a scientific answer as the teachers of Alderaan would do later in Leia’s life, but Breha did not want her daughter to lose her sense of wonder just yet.

“Stars are the souls of those who have passed on before us. They sit in the heavens watching the ones they love,” Breha told her daughter what her mother had once told her as a child.

“Really?” Leia’s eyes lit up in amazement.

“Yes.”

“Is anyone watching me?” Leia asked hopefully not fully processing that this meant someone who loved her was dead.

“Yes. See there, that is Grandpa Antilles and Grandma Antilles,” She pointed to two stars that are settled right next to each other.

“And who is that great big star there! Is that someone who loves me?” Leia pointed to the brightest star in the Alderaan night sky. Breha took Leia Into her arms then.

“Yes, that is someone who loved you very much.”

“Who?”

“She was a queen. Queen Amidala of Naboo. Even before you were born she loved you,” Breha brought up her old friend.

“A queen from a whole other planet loved me?” Leia beamed.

“Yes, very much so,” Breha nodded. Leia felt so lucky to have been loved by a queen though she had no recollection of meeting the woman.

“So, when you look to the stars remember they those who love you, and the more stars you see the more you should know you are loved,” Breha kissed Leia’s head.

Leia keeps her eyes on the stars. She knows now that they are balls of gas but a part of her wants it to be the ones who love her. It could give her some comfort to know even as she is dying, she is surrounded by her loved ones who are watching her. She can die and join them in the stars. She can join Han, Luke, both of her mothers, her many, many friends, her father Bail and even her father Anakin. She wants to close her eyes and accept her fate.

Leia. She is called again. The voice is clearer now. It the voice of the force ghost that visited her on Endor the night the Empire fell. It is the voice of her father. It is the voice of Anakin. At the time she still harbored so much hate and anger to the man who destroyed her planet, killed so many she loved and almost killed Han, the man she loved. He tried then to reach and apologize but she rejected him. She has regretted that ever since as it was the only time she heard or saw her father as his true self. But now she hears voice calling her.

 _Leia, do not give up hope._ Anakin tells her.

_Leia._

_Leia._

Different voices call her name. She does not know them but they feel as familiar to her as her own voice.

_Leia, in the night, find the light._

_You are not alone, Leia._

_Leia._

_Leia._

_Up you must rise, Leia._

_Bring back the balance, Leia. As I did._ It is Anakin again.

_Feel the force surround you._

_Let it guide you as it guided us._

_Feel the force flowing through you, Leia._

_Let it lift you._ Anakin keeps encouraging her. She regains feeling in her body, her chest pains subside. She turns onto her side.

_Rise, Leia._

She pushes herself up slowly. She gets to her knees and tries to get up from there.

_We stand with you, Leia._

_Leia._

_Rise in the Force._

She cannot get to her feel. The pain is too great.

_Rise._

_Rise._

_Rise._

_Rise._

_Rise, my daughter, for the Force is strong with you._ Anakin gives one last push.

Leia rises to her feet. Her hair has fall from its former style, her clothes are covered in dirt, dust and the blood from the battle of Ajan Kloss. She holds out her hand. To it comes the lightsaber that once belonged to her father and brother and now to Rey. She ignites it and stares at Palpatine who finally notices the recovered princess.

“Let your death be the final word in the story of rebellion,” He glowers the brings up his fingers. Lighting shoots at them toward Leia. She blocks it with the lightsaber. Both of her hands must hold the blade as his force lightning is almost overpowering. Darth Sidious gnashes his teeth and stands as Leia has yet to fall and succumb to him.

You groan as you finally come to your senses. Your breath is labored and your vision blurry. All you see is a bright light to your right. You blink and it all becomes clearer. There is Leia with the Skywalker lightsaber fending off the force lightning of the Emperor. You do not see Ben or Luke anywhere. You feel a heaviness in your chest as you have lost one of them. You will not allow yourself to even guess who. But beyond Leia, you see Rey. She too has opened her eyes and looks around. Your eyes meet your sister’s.

Both you and Rey know you must rise up and help Leia. Though the pain is great. You and Rey come to your feet. Seeing you Palpatine manages to contort his face into an even more grotesque look. You summon your lightsaber which flies from the deceased Hego. You ignite it. You come to Leia’s side. You add your lightsaber to cross with hers allowing it and you to absorb more the lightning. Rey summons Luke’s lightsaber to her and brings the green saber to join your and Leia’s against the lightning.

“You foolish old woman and stupid little girls! Even all together you are no match for me and my power!” He proclaims. Still, you three stay locked together.

 _You can do this. We are with you._ You hear the voices behind you. Rey and Leia hear them as well.

We are with you. We are one. We are with you. They repeat and you three find the strength to take a step forward.

Leia feels a hand on hers. She turns and see Luke there. He smiles to her. Though she knows this is a final confirmation of his passing she knows he is with her. 

You feel Luke’s presence and turn your head to see him. You know now the loss you felt was him not Ben. He gives you an encouraging nod then another to Rey.

You all take another step forward. Palpatine can not take a step back to increase the distance. He leans more into his work wanting to intensify his power against you all. The extra effort pushes the joined group in a manner that makes your feet slide back. Your hold on your weapon grows weaker.

Ben finally climbs his way out of the chasm. Without any hesitation or concern for the pain shooting through his body, he hobble-runs to you. He comes behind you and warps his arms about you and grips your lightsaber with you. You look up to Ben.

“Ben,” You are overjoyed with him with you now reaffirming his life.

“Sorry, I’m late, Sweetheart,” he apologizing flashing you a quick smile. You both look forward. With his hold around you and the saber you are even more confident.

“None of you can defeat me!” Palpatine barks as if this will discourage you all. Instead, your group steps forward. The Emperor snarls and foams at the mouth like a rabid dog as he attempts to keep you all at bay with more power. Still, you all move forward once more.

“I am all the Sith!” He bellows.

“And we…” You speak in unison and step forward again. More hands seem to join the holds of the lightsabers. In the corner of your eye, you can see _them._

Palpatine’s eyes widen as before him he can now see the glowing embodiments of thousands upon thousands of passed Jedi. Their hands come to lay on the bodies of those opposing him. Yoda and Ahsoka Tano’s hands have joined Rey’s. Obi-Wan has joined yours and Ben’s. Anakin has joined his hands to his daughter and son’s. The other glowing beings connect themselves by touching all around them. The sight is overwhelming and strikes fear into every Sith heart.

“We are all the Jedi.”

One last step is taken. The lightning deflects from the joined lightsabers back onto Palpatine. He cries out as the lightning he can no longer control strikes and burns him. His cries are horrible as he literally disintegrates from his own lightning. Bursting, Palpatine is gone. The throne is gone. The jedi are gone. The amphitheater begins to crumble as do both fleets above them.

The Sith disciples scream as debris falls and kills them in various states. Leia starts to fall back completely weakened from the experience. Both Rey and Ben grab onto the woman to keep her from falling.

“We must get her to safety,” Ben points to the still open exit he had come into from earlier. You all start then you hear a cry. You had almost forgotten.

“Hanamé!” You turn to locate your child. You see her by Jie-Jie’s corpse. A blaring noise rings in your ears as debris from a First Order ship falling through the open ceiling. Its final destination is that where your child lays. You make a mad dash for her. Ben sees you run and calls for you.

You reach Hanamé and quickly take her into your arms. You look up but it is too late. The debris is coming. It’s coming! You brace for the crushing weight.

It does not come. You open your eyes. The debris is suspended in the air. You are not doing this. You look down to Hanamé. Her little hand is raised. It is her!

You move out of the way of the debris’ path just as the baby lowers her hand and yawns. She closes her eyes from the exhaustion. You run toward Ben who meets you halfway. He wraps his protective arm around you and Hanamé before leading you out where Leia and Rey went.

Your small group races through the falling apart Sith citadel. Using the force, Rey and Ben are able to lift the decagon platform your group had descended on earlier. Reaching the surface, you all run to the Millennium Falcon, avoiding the defeat Imperial and First Order ships.

There are no times for embraces or kisses among the crew. They must get off Exegol now. Luckily, the ship is fixed. Ben joins Chewie in the cockpit despite his numerous injuries. They blast off. The wearied and beaten women sit silently trying to come to terms with all that has happened. R2D2 rolls to Leia. He beeps his inquiry to her about the whereabouts of his master. Leia takes a breath and sheds a tear but she smiles.

“He is still with us, Artoo, just not _with_ us,” She answers, The droid’s sad beeps come and he rolls away. Leia wishes she could comfort the droid but it will have to grieve in its own way just as she will, just all of you will. Though there has been a great victory there has been a great loss. Despite knowing that Luke and all the Jedi are still with your group, there is a bitterness in their lack of constant physical presence. But that is life.


	141. Reconditioned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Readers! Thank you all for the comments, kudos and encouragement. I am so grateful to you all. This is the next to last post. I can’t believe the end is a chapter away! Please, enjoy this chapter!

# Chapter 141

Ben limps back into main hold as Chewie assured Ben he could handle flying alone in the now peaceful space territory. Ben sees the hold is empty except for you and Hanamé. You sit with your hand on the floating pram that was packed before your group left for Mustafar. You look up sensing Ben’s approach.

“Ben,” You get up and comes to be under his arm. You help him get to a seat near Hanamé’s pram. You bring over the floating baby carrier so it is closer to your and Ben’s view.

Ben gazes upon his daughter for the first time. She lies flat on her back with her face turned so she can rest on her cheek. Her right hand his raised to be close to her face while her left arm is outstretched as if to take over the rest of the bed. Her torso rises and falls with her breaths. Her cheeks are rosy and her lips are parted to let in and out air. Unlike Anakin, she does not have a thick head of hair but the hair she does have is similar to yours. The curves of her face, nose and eyes are like yours as well. Only her lips are akin to Ben and Anakin.

“She’s perfect,” Ben mumbles, his eyes never leaving the sleeping girl.

“Isn’t she?”

“Has she been a sleep this entire time?” Ben checks concerned for the girl’s sleep schedule.

“No. She woke a while a go with a full diaper and was very hungry. I was so relieved when she latched on. I was afraid she would reject my breasts since she is used to another one,” You confide in him your fear and relief.

“No breast compares to yours,” Ben turns his face suddenly so it goes into your chest.

“Ben!” You yelp and blush at the action but he turns his head forward again. He starts to reach his hand in to touch the girl but stops remembering his shredded palms and fingers. He brings his hand back out. He does not want to dirty his daughter.

“I’m glad you had enough strength to stop that debris from crushing you and Hanamé,” Ben brings up the near-death experience.

“I didn’t though,” you look up from Hanamé to Ben who raises his eyebrow in surprise.

“Then who stopped it? I know I wasn’t able to.”

“It was her. Hanamé stopped it,” You give credit where credit is due.

“But she is a baby. How could she already have such control?” Ben’s eyes return to the sleeper.

“I don’t know. I know she was desired by Palpatine for her potential force ability. I guess this is just one of the signs of her power,” You can hardly believe such a tiny, delicate things could hold so much power.

“If she is this strong already then…what will I even be able to teach her?” Ben suddenly begins to doubt his own abilities.

“You will teach how to use her power, how to control it, and all that other boring stuff you taught me,” You laugh at the end of your list. You put your hand on his shoulder.

Ben inhales sharply in pain. You immediately remove your hand from him with an apology coming out of your mouth.

“It’s fine. I’ll probably be in pain till we get medical attention on whatever planet is serving as the new Resistance base,” Ben is prepared to suffer. You frown at the idea of your husband suffering.

“Can I see your injuries?” You request. Ben presses his large lips together not wanting to agree to your request.

“I might be able to help. Let me see,” you go to grab his coat.

“No,” he shakes his head.

“Why?”

“I…I don’t want to…” he cannot finish his sentence.

“Want to what?”

“I don’t want to make you even less attracted to me,” he finally admits. You stop not believing your ears.

“What?”

“I know that ever since Rey scarred me that you find me less attractive. If you see the wounds on me you will find me even more so,” He is honest about his insecurity. You are surprised by his feelings. It is ridiculous to you. Does he not know nothing will change your feelings toward him including his looks?

“Ben, as much as I love your body, I love your being more. I still find you irresistible. And with these wounds, I am shown the true effort of your fight against Palpatine. It almost makes you sexier to me,” you are sincere in your statements.

Ben wants to question your verity but your connection allows him to know you are truthful. With this comfort, he starts to remove his jacket. It is a painful process and so you assist. You also help removed his shirt. Your eyes water seeing the numerous scrapes across his chest as well as how his skin has turned from alabaster to black, blue, purple, and green. You come behind him and cover your mouth in revulsion. Like the front his pale skin has turned a variety of color but it is mostly covered in dried blood. The source of the blood comes from a deep gash across his back. It is so deep that there is no skin and only muscle. There is some rubble in the wound which you know can lead to infection. You see the lowest part of his back is horribly bruised. There must be more below his pants.

“I need you stand so I can remove your pants,” You tell him. He stands up just enough for you to get the top of his pants and pull them down. His legs are just as his chest had been except for his injured leg that has a deep cut that goes into his boot. You have him sit before taking off his boots. He is fully exposed but it has to be this way for you to see the full extent of his damages. The only parts that seem unhurt is his face that only bears the scar from Rey and his penis. You are glad two of your favorite parts were not hurt.

Ben is seated with jaw clenched in pain. You know his body must be in agony. You do not know when you will arrive to a medical base and you know there is not bacta ointment on the ship thanks to your and Ben’s anal excursion in the bathroom before Mustafar. You know of one way you can help him. Luke had taught you how but never had you tried to heal anything more than a fish. With yourself being drained from the recent battle, you do not know how much you can help. But you have to help him.

“Ben, I’m going to help you,” You gently touch his wrists, “Luke taught me force healing.”

“Force healing. That is something very advanced and you’ve just been-”

“I know but I can’t just sit here and let you suffer when I could at least ease it a little,” You cut him off. You are determined to help and heal him.

“I don’t want you to over exert yourself.”

“I cannot suffer to see you suffer. I am doing this,” You will let him go. You move behind him and lay your hands on his shoulders. You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

Like the gentle flow of river, your force enters Ben’s body. All his pain is numbed. The discoloration of Ben’s skin starts to fade away. His open leg grows together. The disgusting back wound is sewn together by invisible thread. His hands regrow their original outer layer of skin. The scars on his chest and face once made by Rey, also healed leaving him fully recovered.

Ben stares at his restored hands in astonishment. He looks at the other parts of his body amazed as well. He turns around and grabs your hands with a smile.

“You healed me!” He is surprised but pleased.

“Your face,” You reach up and touch his no longer scarred cheek, “It’s healed.”

Ben turns to kiss the palm of the hand touching his cheek. He wraps his strengthened arms around you and lifts you up to kiss you properly on the mouth. Both of you are surprised by the healing. Ben sets you back down on your feet. Your knees give but luckily Ben still holds you.

“Oh. I guess I gave more than I thought,” You allow Ben to help you sit down, “But it’s for you so it’s worth it.”

“You should rest. I’ll take you to the crew quarters,” Ben kneels then scoops you up into his arms. He carries you as if you were some delicate princess. He takes you in the room and lays you down gently in the bed you two have shared. He covers you to keep you warm. Feeling the softness of the pillow and bed beneath you, your body relaxes and starts to slip toward sleep. Suddenly you hear a cry from outside the room.

“Hanamé!” You whisper urgently.

“You sleep. I’ll take care of her,” Ben leaves you after giving yoru forehead a kiss. Though worried about why your daughter is crying, you cannot stop yourself from falling asleep.

Ben goes back into the main hold and slips his pants on quickly as he looks into the pram at the crying Hanamé. He reaches in and picks up Hanamé to see what his wrong. He feels her diaper and find his it not wet or full. He bounces her for a moment then holds her against his bare chest. Once her cheek is presses against his chest, she starts to calm down.

“It’s okay, Hanamé, Daddy is here. Daddy is here,” He rocks her and his body as he kisses the top of her head. Her little hand gropes Ben’s pec as she starts rubbing her face against him more. She stops and pushes back from him as to look at him. Ben looks her in the eyes. He is glad to see his former visions of his daughter are true. She has your eyes. Ben smiles at the baby. She stares long and hard at him before cracking a smile. She leans against him again and sighs contently. Ben strokes her back. He takes a seat and keeps her against him even after she falls back asleep. 

* * *

Yavin 4 has been Poe’s home since before he can remember. The once rising colony of fertile jungles and peaceful people is now surrounded by ships and rebels ready to wage war. Fortunately, it is not against Yavin 4 but against the horrid First Order that has not only killed so many of their people of Ajan Kloss but has also taken their leader. It was touching when practically the entire Galaxy decided to band together after Poe’s message. Even those who were not big fans of the Republic could not stand the cruelty of the First Order and the capture of Princess Leia who was favored around the entire galaxy despite her father’s true identity being revealed. Even Lando Calrissian has emerged to rejoin the alliance.

General Poe Dameron, as the rest of the Resistance has titled him now, stands at the conference table with the gathered allies. Finn and Rose stand to his right giving more moral support than any other support. Anakin is strapped to Poe’s chest and overlooks the battle plans despite not knowing what is going on before him.

“Our scouts have informed us that all of the First Order has gone into the unknown regions of the galaxy. They were headed toward the coordinates that was sent to use by Millennium Falcon. There has been no sign of either the First Order or the Millennium Falcon from returning from there. I believe we should set course for the Millennium Falcon’s destination,” Poe gives his idea.

“But what if that is what the First Order wants us to do? What is they plan to ambush us?” A worried rebel brings up the possibility.

“It could all be a trap but we go in armed and ready to fight,” Poe gives his solution. “Are we all agreed?”

“Yes,” the word of agreement comes in little bursts around the room.

“Then give your orders for the ships to be-”

“General!” A young officer runs into the room.

“What is it, Babbox?” Poe looks to the young man.

“The Millennium Falcon just landed!” He announces.

“The Millennium Falcon!” Poe bolts from the room. He is closely followed by Finn and the rest of the room. The entire base seems to head to the ship. They surround the ship hoping with hearts pounding and palms sweating. The ship, that was already not in fantastic shape, as the black proof of being struck by lighting and marks of being hit by other foreign articles. It has been through some sort of horrible experience.

Poe stares at the ship and brings his hands to hold Anakin’s little feet. Poe is not sure why but he has found it oddly comforting to just hold onto the child’s feet and give them a squeeze when anxious. He has only recently picked up this habit but Anakin does not seem to mind it.

The door of the Falcon begins to lower and exhaust causes white smoke to come over the lowered walkway. All hold their breath unsure of whom may come off the ship. Dark figures form in the clouds that begins to dissipate.

“Rey!” Finn runs seeing his friend with the cleared exhaust. They embrace as the others cheer upon seeing Chewie, R2D2 and their beloved Leia. The rebels flood the lowered door to greet returned trio. BB-8 and C3P0 even bypass many to greet the three and R2D2. Poe wants to come close to express his joy to see Leia and to discuss with her what has happened and what to do next. As he tries to come closer, he realizes there are some who left on the Millennium Falcon who are not back. When Poe reaches Leia she takes his hands.

“Leia, I am so glad you are back,’ He states what almost all have said.

“As am I. Thank you for following my instructions and keeping Anakin safe,” She brings one hand to touch her grandson’s face. “And for rallying our fellow rebels.”

“Well, someone once told me ‘Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you see it, you’ll never make it through the night.’ It has been a dark night but again we are seeing the sun,” Poe makes the older general smile. She brings up her hand from Anakin to Poe’s cheek.

“I dread ask though, where is Skywalker and Meia?” He asks after the two important figures but leaves out Ben as his fate is not as important to Poe. Leia’s hand drops as do her eyes.

“Luke died,” She gives him the bad news.

“And Meia?” He asks after you again dreading the answer more now. Leia regains a smile.

“She and Ben are well. They are on the ship with Hanamé. I know they would be more than happy to see their friend and son,” Leia steps aside and gestures to the opening of the ship. Poe’s heart has lightened.

“I will be right back then,” Poe speedily walks inside the Falcon. He comes into the main hold.

There you and Ben stand with Hanamé sandwiched between you. Ben takes the brunt of holding the baby girl. She practically clings to her father’s dirty leather jacket. Poe is surprised to see Ben’s facial scar has disappeared.

“What did you do to her that has made her so enamored with you, Ben? I cannot get her to let you go,” You try to pull her from Ben but her hold is too strong. Ben leans down and whispers a comment in your ear that Poe cannot hear but makes you blush. You smack his arm and exclaim his name. He snorts clearly amused by whatever he said.

“Ah!” Anakin squeals and stretches out his arms in want of his mother thus giving away Poe’s presence. You and Ben look toward the intruders.

“Anakin!” You rush toward your son and his holder. You take Anakin out of Poe’s makeshift baby carrier and hug him tightly. You plant many kisses on the infant and repeatedly tell him how much you missed him. Poe stands not upset that your attention has gone first to your son.

“Poe, thank you so much!” You finally look at him. You hug him though it nearly squishes Anakin between the two of you. He enjoys feeling your flesh against him as it is further proof of your life.

“Poe, what you did for us-for Anakin…I owe you a great debt.” You finally pull back.

“You owe me nothing. If it weren’t for being trusted to take care of him, I’d be lying dead on Ajan Kloss right now. And he is a very good boy. He was easy to care for,” Poe is sure to ease your mind on your debt and on whether or not Anakin had been a burden.

“Still, you saved and protected Anakin. For that you will always be a hero in my eyes and I will be sure that you are one in his eyes too,” You look back at Anakin. Poe smiles to know you intend to keep him alive in Anakin’s mind.

“Now, come and see my daughter,” You grab Poe’s hand and pull him toward Ben and Hanamé. Poe stares at the little girl who looks only at Anakin. The children are silent as they stare at each other. It is if they are trying to see why there is something familiar about the other.

Hanamé and Anakin reach for each other and upon touching they give an open mouth smile. They must somehow remember each other even with being separated from birth. It does surprise you just as it surprised you and Ben how easily and quickly Hanamé acclimated to them. You suppose the force has something to do with it. You are absolutely content with that being the way.

“She looks a lot like you,” Poe lets you know what you already know, “But she doesn’t have your smile. She and Anakin have the same mouth.”

“You think so?” You look at Hanamé’s face. You do see the similarity there in the twins.

“Yeah. But she’ll still be a beauty as long as the rest of her stays looking like you,” Poe remarks to compliment you but insult Ben who catches it. Poe laughs and swears he is just kidding.

“I better get back to the rest of Resistance. We have so much more to do. I’ll see you guys around,” Poe pats Anakin’s head then reaches to pat Hanamé’s. As his hand comes near, Hanamé moves her head and bites Poe’s hand with her single tooth.

“Ow!” Poe yelps and pulls away. Ben smirks.

“I’m so sorry!” You apologize embarrassed by your daughter’s actions.

“It’s fine. I guess she is more like her father after all,” Poe narrows his eyes at the baby who is more than pleased with herself.

“I’ll make sure to teach her not to do that again,” You promise.

“As long as _my_ Anakin doesn’t pick it up, she can do whatever she wants,” Poe pats Anakin one more time. How ironic in the past few days he has become so attached to the child.

“I’ll be going now. I’ll see you later,” Poe walks away.

“Good girl,” Ben whispers to Hanamé and kisses the top of her head. You glare at Ben for encouraging the behavior. You suppose this may be one of the many things to come you and Ben might not agree on with the twins but as long as you two can stick together and raise them right, it will all be alright.

You, Ben and the twins eventually leave the Millennium Falcon and joins the celebrating rebels. You two are happily welcomed by Finn, C3P0 and BB-8. You do not fail to notice the looks Ben receives from the other rebels. The truth of Ben’s former life as Kylo Ren has not been kept secret. The distain for him is not kept from their faces. But who will dare to speak out right to their beloved leader’s son who also helped them to bring down the First Order?

“Ben?” An older gentleman in a fabulous cape comes toward you and your husband.

“Uncle Lando!” Ben smiles and accepts the hug from the older man.

“My boy, I am so glad to see you _here_ ,” Lando pats Ben’s shoulders.

“I am too,” Ben nods knowing what Lando really means.

“Now, introduce me to this lovely creature and these adorable children,” Lando looks to you and the twins.

“This is my wife,” Ben holds his hand that is not holding onto Hanamé out to you and calls you by your name. You are surprised that he calls you by it in front of another but you like it. You like that he will allow others to call you by your true name now.

Lando repeats your name with a laugh. You can only assume it is because of Ben’s childhood name preference that Lando laughs.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Lando takes your free hand and kisses it. His mustache tickles your hand but you do not laugh.

“And you.”

“This is my son Anakin Solo,” Ben continues with his introductions.

“His father’s son, I can tell,” Lando is not blind to the resemblance. Lando lets his eyes dwell on the boy a bit longer. He, like Ben, reminds him so much of Han.

“And this little darling?” Lando finally looks back to the girl in Ben’s arm.

“Our daughter, Hanamé,” You give away her name.

“ _Han_ amé?” Lando emphasizes the syllable most like his former friend’s name. His smile widens. “What a beautiful name.”

It is almost as if Hanamé understood the man’s words for she smiles to him. Lando accepts the smile pleased with the child’s natural pleasance.

“So, will you be joining us in wiping out the last of the First Order?” Lando directs his question to Ben.

“No.” Ben does not hesitate with his answer.

“No?” Lando is genuinely surprised. The boy he knew would jump at any opportunity to fight.

“I have promised to serve as an advisor to my mother and the Resistance leaders on how to take down the First Order but I’m not fighting anymore,” Ben enlightens Lando of his future plans. You take his hand in support of his plan. Lando nods in understanding.

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

“Master Ben, General Leia requests your presence,” C-3P0 comes to fetch Ben away.

“Go ahead. I’ll speak with you later, kid,” Lando steps away freeing Ben to leave. You offer to take Hanamé from Ben so he can meet with his mother. As C-3P0 did not request your presence you figure she does not want to see you. Hanamé is not very happy to leave Ben and begins to cry. Anakin reaches for his sister and touches her arm. Somehow it calms the girl. Whatever bond the two have, you are glad they have it if it means they can soothe each other.

You decide to return to the Millennium Falcon as it will be easier to take care of the twins there. As you walk, you do your best to avoid the rebels who have taken to drinking in their celebration. As you are dodging a particular lightweight who drunkenly stumbles into your path, you nearly fall. You are caught by a sturdy hand. You turn to give gratitude to the one who caught you. 

“Thank you for-” You stop and grow pale seeing who is before you. You don’t know why or how the man before you is a down dressed FN-3181. He has a small blaster he presses into your ribs.

“Say a single word, and I’ll blow a hole in you then your brats,” He threatens.

You closer your mouth.

“Turn around and lead me to a ship we can be alone. And no tricks,” he whispers. You turn and start walking toward the Millennium Falcon.

 _Ben. Ben, FN-3181 is here. Come to me. I am on the Millennium Falcon._ You send the mental message repeatedly as you walk.

Getting on board, you go into the main hold not sure what FN-3181 wants. He barks for you to sit but keeps his blaster on you.

“What are you doing here, Eight-One?” You finally ask.

“What do you think?”

“I really don’t know. I thought you would have been at Exegol and killed there with the rest of the First Order.”

“Well, I wasn’t. Before Hux left, he had small special groups sent out to the different known Resistance ally bases. We were to infiltrate the base then set up a way to bring about their demise,” FN-3181 brings up the rather clever plan of the late Supreme Leader.

“The First Order is dead. There is no point to keep with this mission or treating me like a traitor. You can go and live freely now, FN-3181,” You bring up the truth and opportunity.

“Oh, I am going to live freely but I am going to complete my mission first and get my revenge,” He smiles.

“How are you going to do that?” You want to keep him talking so Ben can make it to you.

“My team and I have set up explosives all around this base. We are getting our ships now and take off. Then we will detonate the explosive and destroy this place. With Leia being here, it will squash the Rebel spirits again. And since Kylo Ren is here, I will get the satisfaction of seeing that asshole die as well.”

“Ah. But why are you taking me captive here and telling me all of this? Shouldn’t you be flying away to safety and setting off your plan?” You do want to know his intentions. He pushes some of his blonde hair out of his eyes.

“Because, I’m going to have you watch as your dear commander burns then I’ll kill his bastards then I’ll kill you,” He gives his plan with a twisted smile.

Damn. You hate this guy.

 _Ben, there are explosive planted around base. Have them found as well at the trooper spies. They may be hiding with the ships. I can handle FN-3181 until you can come._ You want Ben to receive this message as well. The base must be protected. You can handle this asshole.

“Well, I’m afraid you’re going to be sorely disappointed just as you have been your whole life,” You stand up. You put your children in the floating pram and press the button that closes the pram. You know the material of the pram is impenetrable even by blaster shot.

“Sit down, bitch,” FN-3181 steps closer to you. You do not.

“No. I’m not going to sit down and you are not going to shoot me. We both know I do not even have to touch you kill you. So, put down your weapon and we will wait for the Resistance to arrest you,” You give your plan taking another step toward him.

“Oh yeah?” His nostrils flare.

“Yeah.”

“Step back, FN-1971!” he orders but you come all the way up to him. His shooting hand is shaking. His fear is coming out as he is losing his confidence. He has the blaster but you are still more powerful. You know it as does he.

As you step up so closely that only his blaster is between you, you can see his pain in his eyes. There was a time you two were the same. You were both trained to live solely for the First Order. You were partners and you had trusted him enough once to kiss him. Yes, he is annoying ass who tried so many times to get you in trouble and even executed but…seeing so clearly his pain that has manifested to hate and fear, you pity him. You know it is partially your fault. He thought you two could become something. He thought you two could have love. Instead, you rejected him and for a man who treated people like you and him like trash. Then you betrayed the First Order and joined the Resistance. He only learned of your treachery from Supreme Leader Hux’s account of the demise of Supreme Leader Snoke.

Still, it is FN-3181’s choice to hate and to go about this way to get revenge. You can apologize but in truth you did nothing wrong. You followed your heart and let yourself be reconditioned by it. You never loved FN-3181 and you had no obligation to act like you did just to appease his hurt feelings. You wish that he and all other troopers would see the sense to leave the First Order, let the past die and try to start a new life. It will not be easy but it would be better. But FN-3181 has made his choice to attack and threaten not only you but your husband, your children and your extended family and friends.

“Put the blaster down,” you grab his hand.

“Back off, Seven-One!”

“Just let it go and I will make sure they do not kill you on the spot,” You try reason with him.

“I am the one with the power!” He yells flexing his finger.

**Pew!**

It is burns quickly and painfully like being struck by lightning. Then the pain stops and you feel nothing in your abdomen, back, or legs. You fall forward toward onto FN-3181. Your legs have given out and you start to slide down FN-3181’s body. As you start to fall to the floor, He catches your head and sits on the floor. He looks at his weapon then at you.

“I-I-I,” He stammers. Your jaw moves as does your open mouth but no word or sound comes out. Seeing helpless in his arms, FN-3181 has lost his anger. He no longer sees you as the bitch you broke his heart and betrayed the First Order. You are just his Seven-One again.

“Hey, Meia, I-” You hear Finn. Finn stops dead in his tracks seeing you lying the ground with a massive hole in your stomach and the blaster-wielding FN-3181 holding you.

“You!” Finn bellows and grabs his blaster from his holster. In a single shot, Finn kills his former comrade. He takes you from FN-3181’s arms and holds you in his own.

“Meia, we’re going to fix this okay. We got some great medics around here,” Finn puts his hand on your stomach to cover the wound. He starts to call for help.

You feel your body growing cold despite Finn’s warm embrace. You know there is nothing that can be done. The medics were partying and may not be suitable for work on you and that is if you can even survive getting to the medical bay. You are dying.

You are dying and by the hands of FN-3181. It is not how you though you would die. You had hoped to die as an old woman in the arms and bed of Ben just as he passes. You wanted to die after seeing your children grow and have children of their own. You wanted to keep mending the relationship with Ben, Leia and Chewie. You wanted to develop a deeper sisterhood with Rey. You wanted to help Poe find someone to wear his ring. You wanted to see Jyn and Robal again and meet their child. You wanted your children to grow up with theirs. You wanted to tell Finn the ending to the Kade Genti comics and help him start his life so he would no longer have to fight for a side.

Your wants will only ever be that now. You are dying. It is heartbreaking but you have to accept it. Everyone dies. It may not be the way you wanted but it is here and you must accept it. Luke taught you that on Ach-To. Like him you must accept that it is your time. At least you will be reunited with him in death. It will be good to be with him. You hope you will be reunited with Han in death as well as your mother and maybe your father? Anakin will be there and you hope Padme too. You will be more than overjoyed when you can see Dr. Ryza again. Yes, death will bring about a reunion. Then one day you will be reunited with Ben, the twins, Leia, Rey, Chewie, Poe, Jyn and Finn. You hope that those reunions will be decades if not centuries from now.

“Finn,” You try to get his attention.

“What?” He takes your hand. You give him a weak smile. You suppose if you must die with someone besides Ben, you are glad it is in the arms of your oldest friend.

“I need to tell you something.”

“What?” He leans closer to you. You suppose in this moment you can do one thing on your want list.

“I found out…Kade Genti and Princess Meia…they get married. They have a daughter and live happily ever after,” You feel your head swimming and your vision starts to blur. 

“You’re dying and you want to tell me about Kade Genti?” Finn does not know whether to laugh or cry. You decide to laugh. You start to close your eyes though.

“I thought you’d like to know.”

“No. No. Don’t you close your eyes! Keep your eyes open! Keep your eyes open, Meia! Tell me more. Tell me how they get married. What happened to Marth?” Finn shakes you to keep you awake and therefore alive.

“I’m so tired, Finn. Let me go. It’s okay. It’s okay to let me go,” You start to close your eyes again.

“I’m not letting you die! I don’t want to lose any more friends for at least a hundred years!” He gives the difficult challenge.

“Sorry, Finn. But…” You can hardly breathe now. 

“What about your children! Think of your children. You have to live for them and Kylo-I mean Ben! You have to live for them!” Finn brings up your most precious ones.

“I love them. Tell them I love them. I love them so…so…” You close your eyes and give up your last breath.

“Meia. Meia!” Finn shakes you. “Meia!”

Ben runs into the hold panting. He freezes seeing your lifeless body in Finn’s arms. He cannot stay frozen though. He gets on the floor and takes your body from Finn. He looks down at your blood drained face then to your fatal wound.

“I-I’m sorry. He had already shot her when I came. I tried to keep her alive and I called for help. But she…she,” Finn tries to explain to Ben through tear flooded eyes.

Ben’s eyes go back to your face. He rubs his hand against your cheek. Your warmth and color are gone. His eyes are as water-logged as Finn’s.

“I can’t…I can’t live without you,” Ben whispers to you, “I need you.”

Finn listens silently even though he knows the words are not meant for him. He is surprised to see the vulnerability of Kylo Ren.

Ben Holds your body to his in an embrace. He rocks with you for a moment. He does not understand why you are the one to die. If either of you should have died it should have been him. He was the one who caused so much death and destruction to the galaxy. He was the one who turned his back on his family and killed his own father. He was the one blinded by hate and anger. You were the one who despite her terrible upbringing still stayed hopeful and kind. You were the one who loved without really experiencing it from a family. You were the one who helped bring him back to the light. You were the one who reconditioned him to be a good, loved and loving man. You are the one who should live.

Ben lays you down on his lap. He must do what he must to bring you back. He must bring back the woman he loves, the mother of his children, his dedicated apprentice, his best friend. You showed what giving could do. Now, he will give even if it means giving it all.

Ben places his massive hand over the hole. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter!


	142. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!  
> Wow. I cannot believe this is really the end of this story. This has been a true labor of love for me for these past 11 months. I can't believe it has been almost an entire year since I started this story! I meant for this story to be a smutty short story to entertain me during the pandemic but it grew beyond what I thought and now is the length of almost 10 novels! I am just a few thousand words shy. (I say this as you should be proud of yourself for powering through almost ten novels of my unedited writing. Haha.)
> 
> I know this is "just a smutty fan fiction" but for me it has been more than that. My father died five years ago this month and ever since his death I have been unable to write a story to completion. I'm not sure if it has been due to depression or what. But being able to write and finish this story has been a way to prove to myself I can get back to doing what I love and hopefully start writing my own original content. I do not think I would have been able to do this without all of your encouragement and support. So thank you all for being the greatest readers and support system! Thank you all as well for continuing to read despite the major ups and downs of this story. I hope you all have enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it.  
> Please, enjoy this final chapter. Love you all!

# Chapter 142

You open your eyes. You find yourself surrounded by darkness and a feeling of nothingness. You know this place especially by the white streaks around you and the triangles holding circles. You have been here before that time you almost died on Kessel. This what Anakin had called the in-between. You suppose this is where your spirit pauses as you pass on to death.

You notice this time that the circle holding triangle are surrounding you and are much closer and far more numerous. You take a few steps to come closer to them. Walking up to shapes, you see the images in them clearly.

There is a woman in a lavish room with tapestries with the most perverse images on them. But this is not important to you as your eyes are more focused on the woman sitting on the bed with a baby in her arms. The woman is beautiful with her long dark hair and hazel eyes. She looks like Rey. You know it is not Rey though. Rey would never be in a room like that. This woman is Rey’s mother and yours too. ‘Anandra’ was what you had heard her be called by Rey’s father when you had your vision of Rey’s parents.

A man sits on the bed with Anandra. His arm is around her and he looks down at the baby. Though he is a man, you notice how much he looks like the reflection you saw in the mirror. This is your father. ‘Zedis’ is what Rey said his name was. The baby must be you.

“She looks like you,” Zedis tells Anandra though you do not see it.

“You’re just saying that because she is a girl. She looks entirely like you, Zedis,” Anandra corrects the man.

“I know but I thought you’d like to hear that she looks like you,” Zedis gives his reason for his previous statement.

“I’m glad she doesn’t look much like me,” Anandra strokes your head, “This way I know for sure her father is the man I love and not some random customer.”

“Even if she weren’t mine, I’d love her like mine since she is yours,” Zedis kisses Anandra’s temple. She smiles accepting the kiss.

“We should name her,” Zedis turns his attention back to his daughter.

“I don’t know…we might not even be able to keep her. Babies are expensive and you know I need to pay for Santigo’s bills. I think naming her will only make us more attached,” Anandra tries to think realistically.

“I have some money saved, Anandra. I’m about to make a big deal with the Lontz brothers. If it goes the way I want it, we will have enough money for us to leave Madame Prox, get our own place with our baby, and pay for Santigo’s medical bills. We won’t have to ever sling whisky or sell our bodies again. This will happen for us, Anandra. I know it!” Zedis is the optimist. Anandra loves his hope. He is a dreamer. It is one of the many things that led him to winning her heart.

“Okay. What should we name her then?”

“Uh….ummmm, what do you think?” Zedis comes up short on picking a name.

“Hm…you know I really like the name ‘Rey’,” Anandra comes up with the short name you know your sister has. Did they also name you ‘Rey’?

“Rey?” Zedis scrunches up his nose not exactly a fan of it.

“Yes, ‘Rey’. It is simple, sweet yet conveys a certain power to it. ‘Rey Milon’,” Anandra decides on the name.

“‘Rey Milon’? No. She is my daughter so she will have my surname ‘Qel-Droma’. And I don’t want her being called ‘Rey’,” Zedis becomes more opiniated.

“I can concede on the surname as your Alderaan surname is as good as mine, but I like ‘Rey’. Why don’t we do ‘Rey Qel-Droma’?” your mother tries to come up with a compromise.

“I do not get a ‘Rey’ feeling from her. It is not mean to be her name.”

“Then what do you think it should be?” Anandra huffs.

“Well…what about Leia after our princess?” Zedis suggests the name.

“No. There are going to be thousands of girls names Leia after Princess Leia and I want our daughter to be more unique than that,” Anandra vetoes the name.

“Okay…then what about…Jyn?”

“No.”

“Breha?”

“No.”

“Beru?”

“No.”

“Jujol?”

“No.”

“Bailala?”

“No.”

“Iden?”

“No.”

“Sabé?”

“No.”

“Ahsoka?”

“No.”

“Qi-Ra?”

“No.”

“Mon?”

“No.”

“Zorii?”

“No.”

“Carasynthia?”

“No.”

“Saché?”

“No.”

“Dormé?”

“No.”

“Assaji?”

“No.”

“Luminara?”

“No.”

“Amilyn?”

“No.”

“Well, damn, Anandra I’ve given you a plethora of names. You suggest something that’s not ‘Rey’,” Zedis crosses his arms.

Anandra pauses to think of a name she likes as much as or even more than ‘Rey’. A name comes btu she starts to laugh as it does.

“What?” Zedis is not in on her mental joke.

“Well, I thought of a name but the source of it is rather…childish,” Anandra confesses.

“How so?”

“It’s the name of the queen from the comic books that Santigo likes to read during treatment,” Anandra gives the source.

“You mean…” Zedis grins as he says your name.

“Yes…I rally do like that name but if you don’t like it especially since it comes form a comic book character then we can veto that too,” Anandra is willing to have the name rejected.

“No. I think it’s perfect. I like that name,” Zedis accepts it. He looks at you as does Anandra. He repeats your name and adds the surname of ‘Qel-Droma’.

“You like that? You like your name?” Anandra asks you. You coo pleased with the name. In almost rapid speed you watch as your doted on you in your infancy but you also see your father’s scheme fail. You see your mother receiving more devastating news involving an uncle you never see. Finally, you see Anandra handing you over to a man who only reminds you of Hux. You know this is when they gave you away. You walk away from this window to the past.

It should have pained you to see your parents give you away, but you feel some joy in your heart. You were loved. You were loved and wanted. You were only given up as your parents could not keep you. You are grateful to them for giving you up. Despite the horrible childhood it led to and the terrible things you have experienced in your life, their giving you to the First Order led you to becoming who you are, to meeting Ben and to the family you now have.

You keep walking and come upon several windows to your childhood. They are not scenes focused on your pain. Instead that are the pivotal moments where you formed your friendships with Finn and Jyn. You can watch as you sneak Kade Genti comics into your quarters to read over with Finn and you training with Jyn so you both can rise to be the best female troopers. They are such fond moments in your past.

You come to another window. You are in your trooper uniform but your helmet is missing. Your cheeks redden when you realize it is your drunken self trying to find your way back to your dorm. You cringe as you see your past self feeling the walls only to end up grabbing onto the chest of the masked Kylo Ren. You are surprised looking from the outside now at how long he let you actually touch him before you realized your mistake.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I had too much to drink and I couldn’t find my way to my room and-” You tried to explain yourself while prostrate before him.

“Not finding your room is excuse enough to fondle me?” His modulated question made your cheeks burn and still do even while watching.

“No, sir! I’m so sorry. Please, have mercy.”

“Get up.”

You watch as you did so wobbly.

“Look at me.”

You know now how much Ben loves for you to look him in the eyes. But here you two were still nothing. But watching him examining your face you know now he must have been checking out your looks.

“If I see you again with any infraction, I will punish you personally.”

The window passes and you see yourself in _the_ conference room. You are bent over the table completely naked and totally unhidden from Ben’s eyes. He has the Kade Genti comic rolled up and ready to strike you. Looking at the situation now, it is wild that these two virgins ended up in a situation like this. 

You watch as she spanks and teases you. You do no look away as he fingers you roughly then humps you form behind till you both finished. It is quite an unexpected first sexual experience. It is special to you but you hope Hanamé and Anakin have a less sexual harassment vibe to their own first experiences.

You do see the many other first with Kylo such as the very forceful first blow job you gave and the first time you two made love and kissed on Hoth. You want to replay your Hoth memory over and over again as so much began there in the frigid cave. But your life keeps playing before you like a holo-film. Moments like when Kylo refused Queen Moxa’s offer for you and your start of training in the force with him stand out the most. There are so many wonderful memories that you get to see again. You love them all even the more painful ones.

You could look away from the heartbreaking moment when you told Kylo you loved him and he did not reciprocate. But you know this only leads to the great experiences with Jyn, Han, Chewie and Poe. You will never forget the precious moments with the ones who helped mend your heart.

The greatest of the past comes with the reappearance of Kylo/Ben on Naboo. You stand as a witness now as you and Ben are joined by hand before the reluctant Brother Bracken.

“I willingly give myself solely to you. I promise to give my protection, my respect, my comfort and my love to you. Whether together or apart, we are one. Only death can part us.” Ben vowed earnestly and purposefully. His eyes were so focused on you, it was like he did not know there was anyone else in the planet.

“Now you say the same thing,” The brother had to whisper to you as you were so silent.

“I willingly give myself solely to you. I promise to give my protection, my respect, my comfort and my love to you. Whether together or apart, we are one. Only death can part us.” You pledged meaning every word. You still think to uphold your vows.

Ben smiled sincerely and publicly for the first time in what you know must have been years. 

“Does anyone object to this?” Brother Bracken looked to Robal, your only witness. He did not object. You do not object either. You would never ever object to the union between you and Ben. 

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife.” The brother announced before stepping away to leave you and Ben alone, not that either of you noticed at the time. 

You still feel like melting as you watch Ben’s soft lips presses against yours. At the time it felt like an eternity since you two had last kiss and the kiss felt like it would last forever as well. Outside your body you see it was not _that_ long.

“I love you.” The words that spark the greatest joy in you even now came from Ben’s lips just as the Festival of Lights began on Naboo. You never noticed it before as you were too enamored with your husband to see the beautiful show in the sky.

“I love you,” You told him what he already knew and what he still knows now.

Even as the heavenly highs and extreme lows of your married life, pregnancy and post-partum separation are on display for you to view now all at once, you do not regret any decision you have made. It has been painful but, in the end, you were reunited with Ben and Hanamé. Although your family was only together for a few hours, they were the greatest hours of your life.

A final window comes. Your body is laying in the arms of Ben. His hand is on your open abdomen. His eyes are closed and his breath is stuck in his lungs. Finn is looking on with utter confusion on his face, Rey, Poe, Leia, Chewie and a few others are in the room as well surrounding you and Ben. Leia and Chewie have taken your children from the pram where you secured them. They all watch the frozen Ben unsure of what he is doing with your corpse.

What is he doing with your corpse?

You hear Ben calling your name. You feel yourself being drawn in to the window. Ben must be calling you. He is calling you to come back to him. That is it, right? Does this mean you can go back?

You hear name from behind you. You turn and see the original Anakin there. You smile seeing him.

“Anakin,” You begin walking toward him.

“I did not expect to see you here again so soon,” Anakin remarks.

“Neither did I. But I am glad that it is you who is here to meet me.”

“Oh, you didn’t want to see me?” Luke suddenly fades into the in-between.

“Father!” You run and hug him. Although he is a glowing figure, you can feel his arms around your and his body against yours. Had Anakin not been aware of your life and past, he would have questioned the relation between you and Luke. How incredibly repulsive, irresponsible and embarrassing it would have been for Anakin to encourage an incestuous relationship.

“I knew I’d see you and Anakin. Where is Han and everyone else?” You look around to search for the others you want to see.

“He, like everyone else, is beyond here,” Anakin answers.

“Right…” You recall why this is place is the in-between worlds, “So do I go with you two to…beyond?”

“You are ready then to go beyond?” Anakin’s raises an eyebrow as if he does not believe you.

“I have accepted that I am supposed to,” You nod.

“You do not want to return?” Luke gains a quizzical look similar to his father’s.

“I can’t go back. Look at me. I have a huge hole in my body. I have died this time,” You gesture to the window of what you assume is your current self.

“Look closer,” Anakin take you by the shoulder and leads you closer to the window. You look closer at your body. Slowing your wounded body has begun to regrow. Most would gag at the sight of your spine, nerves, blood vessels, arteries, organs, and muscles reforming. You and the Skywalker men do not.

“Is Ben healing me?” Your heart flutters seeing your husband has learned something _from you_ and that he is trying to save you.

“He is trying. He is healing your body but your life force is something else,” Luke explains as he knows more about force healing than his father.

“What has to happen to bring back my life force? Tell me so I can do it!” You turn to Luke urgently. If there is a way to get back to Ben you want to do it. You need to do it.

“Bringing back your life force is not…it is not something that can just be healed,” Luke does not do the best explaining.

“Then what has to be done?” You grab his arm.

“To gain a life, a life must be given. That is how the force stays balanced,” Luke reveals the price.

“So, if Ben were to bring back your life force then…he would have to give up his. Two separate beings cannot share the same life force. It will create an unbalance,” Anakin clarifies further.

It feels like you have been shot again. For you to live, Ben must die? No. No. You will not let him die for you. He must live. He has to father the twins. He is going to teach Hanamé how to use the force and Anakin how to fly. He needs to be fully reconciled with his friends and family. He has so much more to do. He has so many who love him and just got him back. You cannot let him be taken away. As much as you want to live, you do not want to live if Ben will not be in your life.

“Then take me beyond now. I will not let Ben trade his life for mine. Take me. Take me now,” You hold out your hands to them so they can take you. The Skywalker men exchange a look.

“We can’t. If Ben willing gives up his life, then you will return to your body and Ben will join us. We can’t stop him,” Luke shakes his head.

“But, I don’t want him to give up his life for me. I want him to live. I am at peace with being dead as long as he lives. He has to live, not me,” You do not want this.

Anakin’s heart aches for you. He felt like this with Padmé. She did not exactly give up her life for him but he would have protested just as you do if not more had he known her life would be taken in place of his.

“I’m sorry, but it is the way the Force is,” Luke apologizes truly sympathetic for your feelings. You could just cry but before your tears can leave your eyes, you feel your body being pulled by the gut. You reach for Anakin and Luke but you cannot take a hold of them. You do not want to go. You do not want Ben to die.

Inhaling sharply, you find yourself once more in your body. You open your eyes feeling no pain. You only feel Ben’s arms around you. His hand leaves your stomach to touch your face. He whispers your name almost in disbelief.

“Ben,” Your tears spontaneously spring from your eyes. You sit up and take his face into your hands. He is not dead yet but it will come. If these are your last moments together you want to hold him.

“Ben,” You embrace him then pull back. You kiss him. His hands go to the back of your head to hold you in place as your hands stays on his perfect face. You will not let him go. He tries to pull back but you keep your hold on him. He starts to chuckle your name.

“Sweetheart, people are watching.”

You end the kiss but do not look away from him.

“I don’t care. I just want to be here with you right now before…” You stop yourself as you do not even want to utter what is about to happen to the only man you have ever loved.

“Before what?”

“Before the force takes you from me,” You sniffle.

“What are you talking about?” Ben is perplexed as are the onlookers.

“With you bringing me back to life we have created an unbalance in the Force. It has to be corrected. We cannot both live now that you have given me your life force. We cannot share a life force. Two separate being cannot share a single life force,” You tearfully explain what you learned in the in-between.

“But we aren’t two separate beings,” Ben states.

How can he say that when you two are clearly two separate people?

“We are a dyad. We are halves of _one_ whole. My life force is your life force and vice versa. As long as we are together, we are balanced as is the force,” Ben elucidates the situation. Your eyes sparkle and you beam. He is right. You two are a dyad. You are one. You hug him again and kiss his face several times making many of the onlookers smile and laugh.

Anakin and Luke watch through your last window. They are surprise at their incorrectness but it is not the first time either man has been wrong. They smile. How can they begrudge their Ben and you being able to live out the rest of your lives together? The father and son turn away and return to their loved ones in the world beyond this in-between place.

You and Ben get off the floor and take your children in your arms as well as the others in your inner circle. Though there is much more to do to secure the Republic and the galaxy, you know there is nothing that you and Ben cannot overcome.

* * *

The fields are green and full of colorful blossoms. The fresh floral scent is thick in the air. The lake nearby shines in the light of the planet’s single sun. The rushing waterfalls create a relaxing sound and visual. You enjoy the breeze in your loose hair and against your naked body as you sit on the blanket in the Lake Country’s water meadow. The grazing Shaak do not come anywhere near you, your mostly eaten picnic laid out before you on another blanket, or your discarded clothes.

You lay on your back relishing the kisses plants on your chest while Ben lays on his side. Your left hand’s fingers tangle themselves in his thick locks. Though his mane is still thick and mostly black, there are a few streaks of gray now. His hot, wet mouth opens as to devour the erect tips of your swollen mounds. Three of his long digits deeply plunder your gushing folds. You use your spread legs to push up your hips so Ben can reach further inside you.

“You love being finger fucked, don’t you? Even after all this time?” Ben lets go of your nipple and looks up at you darkly humored by your darkened cheeks and gasping.

“Yes. Yes, I do,” you moan. He brings his mouth to join yours. He tastes like the Gatalentan tea you two finished. You reach down and take hold of his protruding cock. You gently tug at it. Ben groans into your kiss. Not much of Ben’s body has changed over the years much to your delight. Of course, you are most pleased no change has come to his manhood or libido.

“Ben, I want you. I want you,” You speak despite your mouth being full of his tongue. He withdraws his fingers from you. He sits up and brings you up with him. He crosses his legs as he remains seated. He puts your hands on his shoulders. You lower yourself onto him. You close your eyes as to savor the slow intrusion of every inch of him entering your body. Once he is fully sheathed in you and you are seated on his lap. You bring your legs to wrap around his waist.

You both rotate your hips to create the pleasurable friction. His hands go to take hold of your bottom. His fingers kneed the cheeks as his hips buck up. Your nipples rub against his chest and send more pleasurable zings throughout your body.

Your anils leave light red marks on Ben’s shoulders and back as you grow closer to your orgasm. He takes his mouth from yours and brings it to your ear.

“Are you going to cum already?” he teases then lets one of his hands leave your arse so it can come grab your clit.

“Hmf! Yes!” You whine not mad at all that he is about to send you into rapture.

“You want me to make you cum? You want my big cock to make you cum?” He starts darting his tongue into your ear.

“Yes!”

“Say it then,” he takes your ear lobe into his teeth.

“I want you to make me cum. I want you to make me cum with you big cock!” You cry out. Ben bites hard then pinches your clit tightly. Ben’s favorite sound erupts from you as your body shakes in jubilation.

Ben is not finished yet. He lays you down on your back and gets to his knees having disconnected your bodies for a moment. He turns you over so your face and breast are left to feel the outline of the grass through the blankets. With your hips lifts by Ben’s hands, ben has easy access back into you. You accept his hard thrusts willingly. He goes so deep you can feel his balls slapping against you clit making you shudder more.

“Fuck. You’re still such a black hole,” he leans down so his chest is against you back and his face is next to yours. “You suck and suck me in and I never want to come out.”

“I never want you out of me. Never. Never go out of me. Stay in me forever,” You have said this so many times yet he does leave your body. Still, you live most fully in these moments.

You regain some strength and push yourself up so you are able to rock yourself back against him. Ben takes hold of your dangling, swaying breasts. He sucks on your shoulder. How his tip grazes your cervix makes your eye roll back and your skin prickle.

“You’re going to cum again,” he knows your body too well. You can only nod your head in response.

“Hold on. Hold on just a little more so we can cum together,” He tries to encourage you.

“I don’t know if I can. It’s too good, Ben. It’s too good,” Your arms give out again. Ben grabs your shoulder and begins to turn you. You lift your legs so you can go flat on your back without him having to pull out again. His hands go under your knees and put them up and apart. You are thankful you have taken to stretching every morning and evening. His hands move to your claves and push more until your ankles are at your head. You would keep them there but your muscles are already weak from your earlier orgasm. You rest them on Ben’s broad shoulders.

Ben’s tip goes further than before. It seems to make love on its own to your cervix. You cannot and will not last much longer. You feel Ben’s twitching and pulsating inside you. You know he is near his end. You want to look into his eyes, those dark, lovely eyes that hold more secrets than the rest of the galaxy. They are the most ageless thing about him yet everyday they seem to attain more and more wisdom that comes with age. Funnily, these ageless but wise eyes are more focused on visually consuming your bouncing tits than meeting your eyes.

“Ben,” You draw his attention to you. He looks you in the eyes as he knows it is what you want and what he wants as well.

There is wholeness in knowing that you are one. You are one and everything else in this moment, at least, does not exist or matter. It is just you and Ben. That is all there is and all that matters.

Like the waterfalls pouring out, you and Ben pour out the evidence of your joint ecstasy. Instead of the rushes of water, your love is poured out with the call of each other’s names.

Your legs are lowered to rest on either side of Ben’s hips. He stays above you panting and stays inside you just a little longer. A kiss is exchanged before Ben removes his whole person from your personal space.

Ben sits up as you do. You kiss his shoulder and look toward the waterfalls as he does. He does look back at you with an incredibly content smile.

“More already?” He takes the kiss as an invitation. You blush and know that you would love nothing more than to go again, but now is not the time.

“Maybe later,” you kiss his cheek then stand up, “We do have some pressing matters to attend to first.”

You use the force to lift up your dress so you can put it on easily. The crimson tulle dress is held around your neck by a gold, diamond encrusted collar while a matching diamond-bearing gold waist band creates a waist for you on the otherwise flowing gown. You let your hair stay down as it covers your backless dress. You slip on the gold sandals you picked for today’s outfit. You pick up her lightsaber that you attach to a special hook you added to the side of the belt. You readjust the gold bracelets on your wrists. You never did get rid of Han’s bracelets. They are permanent piece to all your attire like your wedding ring.

Ben stands pulling on his black pants with him. He puts on and tucks in his crisp white shirt into his pants before covering his feet with his knee-high black boots. He shrugs on a more formal black vest. He buckles his belt which holds his blaster pistol and his newer lightsaber. It is not as notable as the cross guard he lost on Exegol but it works just as well if not better.

You and Ben bend down to clean up your picnic. It is an easy clean up.

“When are they coming back with the Falcon?” Ben starts to run his fingers through his hair as to smooth out the mess you made of it. He tucks the two rolled up blankets under one of his arms then stands.

“I suppose by the time we make it back to the house,” You stand up with the packed basket. You two take each other’s hands as you begin to head back to your home.

“Ah. Well, I guess we really won’t have enough time for anything else then,” Ben sighs disappointedly. You grin to yourself. He still is insatiable.

You two reach the gray stone villa on a hill that has been your home ever since you two moved to Naboo. Just as the picnic basket and blankets are set down inside, Ben grabs his formal black coat and goes for the door. You, like Ben, sense the Millennium Falcon. You grab your wrapped gifts and stick the small items into Ben’s pant pockets.

Exiting the house, you can see the old ship in the sky. It quickly comes to a flat area on your family’s grassy hill. Your hand finds its preferred places in Ben’s as you two start toward the ship. The door lowers as the exhaust billows away.

“Mom. Dad,” Out walks the black leather clad Anakin. He holds the signature Solo smile as he comes to hug you and Ben. Even at his age and even with having seen his parents this morning before he flew off, Anakin still greets his parents with a hug.

“Anakin, how did it go?” You do not want to let go of your returned son but you do as you cannot hold him forever.

“Ok. Auntie Jyn and Uncle Robal aren’t going to come since they are taking care of Granny Sola. But, they gave me their gift and sent _her_ gift with Meian and Solan who are on the ship now,” Anakin uses his thumb to point backward.

“They’ve been to their last nineteen birthdays so I think they can get a pass on this one,” Ben puts his hand on your shoulder. “What did you get?”

“Stick ‘em up!” From behind his back Anakin whips out a brand-new blaster pistol. Out of habit, Ben uses his lightning reflexes and pulls out his own blaster pistol at the same speed so he not left unprotected.

“Man, I still can’t outdraw you, Dad,” Anakin laughs.

Ben smirks as puts the gun away. He ruffles Anakin’s hair then steps closer to look at the new weapon given to Anakin. Ben admires the craftmanship of the weapon and Anakin’s eyes light up as he points out the special features on the item. A pistol is not typically a gift a normal godmother gives her godson but Jyn is not a normal godmother. Even though she has been in the upper society of Naboo for the past two decades, she still has some of her trooper tendencies including thinking weapons make good gifts.

“We should get moving, boys,” you put your hands on the backs of the father and son as to usher them into the ship. They nod and go further inside. Ben and Anakin head straight to the cockpit as that is where their designated seats are. You go into the main hold where Meian and Solan sit playing dejarik.

The Naberrie genes are strong in this family. Both boys look like carbon copies of their fair skinned, dark haired father but they did inherit their mother’s height. Meian, the oldest by two years, wears a matching navy tunic and pants set while Solan’s set is orange. They smile and stand when they see you.

“Auntie,” They both give you a hug.

“Hello, boys. I’m glad you two are able to come today,” You accept the hugs.

“As if we’d miss a chance to go to a party on Chandrila,” Solan snickers but earns a hit on the back of the head from Meian.

“He means as if we’d miss a chance to celebrate with our favorite cousins,” Meian glares at his younger brother.

“Right,” Solan gives a sheepish smile. You chuckle at the boys. You bid for them to return to their game which they do without hesitation. You sit and watch them for a while but find yourself a little bored watching the two stare at the board for minutes after each move. 

Wanting a more stimulating time killer, you head to the cockpit. Coming inside you see a sight you have seen more often than not. Ben and Anakin sit side by side laughing and flying the Millennium Falcon to wherever your family is needed and wanted.

“How is going?” You come between the pilot and co-pilot.

“Good. We should be there soon,” Ben answers.

“I got to take a leak. Can you take over, Mom?” Anakin stands up.

“I can but don’t’ say ‘take a leak’,” You scold him but he shrugs at your admonishment. You switch places with him allowing him to go away to relieve himself.

“I don’t know where he learns such crass phrases,” You shake your head disapprovingly.

“It’s not that bad. I’ve heard you say far crasser and filthier things,” Ben points out the hypocrisy. Your cheeks flush.

“That’s only when we are fucking,” you speak quietly.

“See, you are even using that crass word. You should say ‘making love’ or something polite like that,” Ben pokes fun at your word usage. You will not the take the teasing easily.

“But what we do is _far_ from polite. I mean it is hard to refer to what we do as anything other than fucking. I would not call bending me over these controls, eating my ass then ramming your cock into me ‘making love’,” You bring up the event that occurred not even a week ago. Color comes to Ben’s face. He looks behind his seat toward the door as to make sure no one walked in or heard you.

“You better control that tongue of yours, sweetheart. Do you want Anakin or the Naberrie boys to hear you?” Ben is concerned with the younger ones’ ears. You know he is not ashamed of your healthy sex life but he probably does not want his son or anyone hearing about him eating your ass even if he was the one who wanted to do it.

“No. But they aren’t around. I can say and _do_ whatever I want,” You hit the autopilot button and get out of your seat. You grab Ben’s seat and make him and his chair turn to face you. You look down to this crotch. Even mentioning last week’s incident has got him semi-hard.

“If you lock the door, I could use this crass mouth to help your friend down there,” You nod to his crotch. His pillowy lips spread liking this idea. It has been a while since you blew in his captain’s chair. Even thinking about your mouth around his cock raises his blood pressure. He holds up his hand ready to lock the door from this distance.

“Okay, I’m ba-Ah! What are you to doing?” Anakin walks in then immediately covers his eyes. You shoot up and Ben turns his chair forward to conceal his erection.

“Your father needed his boot fixed so I was helping!” You lie. It is not the first time your son has walked in unwittingly to catch you and Ben nearing or in the throes of passion. This time you can explain it away easier than the time Anakin caught you literally riding Ben in the middle of the kitchen floor two years ago. You have been so careful not to be caught and to work on your explanations of compromising situations.

You sense Anakin does not believe your lie but returns to his co-pilot seat while he shakes his head.

“With the way you two are always going at it, I’m surprised you guys only ever had me and Hanamé,” Anakin comments.

It is true that despite your and Ben’s daily escapades, you never did conceive another child. You suppose that even though ben healed your wound when you died, your ovaries did not heal to the point that they were before. But you are not upset that you and Ben never had another child. You were blessed with the twins and they are enough.

“Have you met you and your sister? You two are more than enough for any parents to take preventative measures against having another child,” Ben jabs at Anakin though he is not serious. You two never did take preventative measures.

“Wow. Thanks, Dad. What a great thing to tell me on my birthday. I’ll be sure to tells Hanamé your feelings as well,” Anakin runs a hand through his hair.

“Please do.”

Anakin rolls his eyes. He knows better than any child how much his father and you love him and his sister. Never has there been a day that Anakin felt that he was not fully loved by you two even on his worst days. He does not say this though as your family is one of feeling and not always words.

“Oh, don’t say such terrible things, Ben. You know I love my baby boy,” You wrap your arms around Anakin and start torturing him with a face full of kisses.

“Mom!” Anakin tries pulling out of your grip. You only tighten your hold.

“Don’t think just because you are twenty now that I’m not going to hug and kiss you and call you my baby,” You give him more smooches then let him go. He wipes his cheek as if disgusted while you laugh.

“I’m going to get some tea. You want any?” You ask the Solo men. They both nod. You turn to go but feel Ben grab your arm.

“Do I not get a kiss?” He asks jealous of all the times your lips were pressed against your son’s face and not his.

“Didn’t you have enough earlier?” You pull your arm out of his hand.

“I can always use one more,” Ben re-grabs you. You bend down so you can kiss him. Anakin rolls his eyes grossed out by his parents’ affection. He should be used to it by now but ever since he learned the truth of what adults do alone together in their bedrooms (or in your case everywhere), Anakin finds the intimacy disgusting. Ironically, it is only the intimacy of _you and Ben_ that causes revulsion in your son. If any other couple displays intimacy in any fashion, he is unphased. Even in his own romantic life, he finds sex to be something he wants very much to experience once he has the right woman. He would even like to copy the intensity and spontaneity of his parents. It is just the thought of his _parents_ being sexual beings that disgusts him. The idea of his sister is another trigger for disgust as well.

You leave the cockpit to fetch tea. When you do return and distribute the drinks, you take a seat behind Ben and relax for the rest of the journey to Chandrila. You have become accustomed to this journey as often you travel between Naboo and Chandrila.

Arriving to the current capital of the restored Republic, your group is greeted by C-3P0 and R2D2. The droids quickly escort you from the private hanger into the house of the twice re-elected but now retired Senate Chancellor Leia Organa.

Leia’s high-rise estate is a large space with many windows that allow the inhabitants to look out on the city. The home is filled with art from the galaxy’s most renown artists and the art of her grandchildren who despite their many talents would never receive an accolade as renown artists. Still, it is a large, poorly drawn portrait of Leia, her grandchildren, her son, and daughter-in-law signed by Anakin and Hanamé that is displayed prominently on the mantle over the fireplace of her main living area.

Leia’s usually empty nest is occupied today much to her joy. There is nothing quite like having friends and family over that make a large home feel even bigger.

“Mom,” Ben is the first to embrace the hostess when they see Leia. The woman in a long, white flowing gown happily takes her giant son into her arms. She gives you a hug but saves her biggest for Anakin.

“Happy Birthday, Ani,” she refers to him by his childhood nickname.

“Thanks, Grandma,” He squeezes her not too tightly has he does not want to break the much older woman.

Leia greets the Naberrie boys after Anakin. She leads you all further into her home to where the other guests reside. Quickly, the guests come to greet your group but especially Anakin. He is the birthday boy, after all.

Among the guests is the Milon family. You of course know them better as you sister Rey and her husband of the last eighteen years, Finn. You receive a bear hug from both. With them are the many students of Rey’s jedi school as well as Rey and Finn’s own children. Their youngest the five-year-old Leia has begun to experience shyness and stays glued to her father’s side.

Their oldest, the seventeen-year-old Anandra, does not have any of the shyness. She has purposefully started a conversation with Solan Naberrie. Even if he is two years older than her and not force-sensitive, she is determined to make this boy hers. Similarly, fifteen-year-old Luke chats up the object of his affection, Paige Tico-Xiono. Her mother Rose is oblivious to the attentions being paid to her daughter as she and her husband Kazuda are busy talking to many of the other older Resistance members and Lando of the events from twenty years ago.

Thirteen and twelve-year-old Keev and Kade have begun a game of Kowakian monkey-lizard in the middle but use the force to pass a ball back and forth in the air above the heads of some of the younger, frustrated students of the Jedi temple. The Milon boys’ cruel fun is ended when the giant, furry Lumpawaroo catches the ball. His grip it too tight resulting in a crushed toy. He tries to apologize but Lumpy is hugged by a couple of the younger students who are glad the Keev and Kade’s torture is done.

Lumpy’s father Chewie is accompanied by his wife as well to this event. He is sure to nearly crush Anakin in a hug when he first sees him. He gives a similar embrace to Ben. He is far gentler with the hug he gives you. There is no need to rough house you.

As you and Ben catch up with the many guests. Anakin politely excuses himself from the group to go into the kitchen. He smiles seeing the unattended cake on the counter. He creeps up the multilayer dessert that will actually be served as the main course of this party. He brings his finger to swipe some of the frosting.

“What do you think you are doing?” The question makes Anakin jump back from the cake. He turns his head and sees who has caught him in the kitchen. His cheeks pinken at the sight of woman behind him. The young red haired, gray eyed woman has her arms crossed before her buxom chest. She pert pink lips are pursed in disapproval of Anakin’s actions.

“Nothing,” He tries to cover his nervousness by running his large hand through his hair.

“I saw what you were you trying to do, Flyboy. You were about to ruin the cake your grandmother worked so hard to make,” She crosses over to him with her hands on her hips allowing Anakin’s eyes to take in her attire. Her emerald green dress, though long and covering her from neck to toe, clings to her body leaving little to the imagination.

“We both my grandmother can’t cook,” Anakin snorts.

“Well, she paid a good price for it and it would be a shame for it to be ruined because you can’t wait for your sister to arrive,” The young woman continues to scold.

“It is just a little taste, your worshipfulness,” he decides to come back to the cake. She reddens in anger at the term.

“I’ve told you not call me that,” She scowls.

“I’m sorry, your highness,” Anakin enjoys seeing her becoming flustered. Her scowl deepens making him smirk.

“Stop. You know I want nothing to do with my father’s throne,” She grits her teeth.

“I know, princess,” He eggs her on then reaches his finger toward the cake again.

“You moon jockey better stop calling me those things and stop trying to taste that cake!” She grabs his wrist. He looks into her eyes and purposefully bring his other hand up and past her face with one finger pointed and ready to swipe the cake. The title rejecting royal grabs his other hand.

“I just want a taste,” He still tries to reach even in her hold.

“No!” She shakes her head and brings her leg to hook behind his knee making him fall backward. She lets him go so she will fall alone. As he falls, Anakin keeps his hold on the woman and brings her down with him.

They open their eyes and find the way they have fallen has left the princess atop the pilot with their faces on the verge of crushing each other. Her red hair falls creating a curtain around their faces. Both turn red at the closeness. However, they remain in this position staring to each other’s eyes. Anakin notices her face lowering unconsciously. He is not upset at all.

“Tenel Ka Djo,” he calls her by her full given name with mischievous grin, “If you wanted me so badly, you could have just said it instead of pinning me down. Not that I mind this position.”

Face as red as her hair, Tenel Ka pushes herself up from the ground. Anakin watches her flustered movements full enjoying the princess’s embarrassment.

“As if I’d ever want to be like _that_ with a scoundrel like you!” She puffs.

“Scoundrel?” Anakin chuckles and gets off the ground, “I think I like the sound of that.”

“Of course, _you_ would,” Tenel Ka rolls her eyes and leans against the counter with the cake on it, “I don’t how you are the twin brother of my best friend and yet I cannot stand you!”

Anakin comes right up to Tenel Ka trapping her against the counter. He brings his face close to hers.

“I think you can stand me a little more than you would like to admit. I think you like me a little more as well.”

“I do not like you at all.” She leans back but is careful not to get into the cake.

“You don’t? What a cruel thing to say to me and on my own birthday,” He does not show any sign of sadness.

“Sometimes the truth is cruel,” She replies.

“Yes, but you are not telling the truth. I mean, if you _really_ did not like me then you would not have kissed me when you came to Naboo last time,” Anakin brings up the event he has not stopped thinking about since it happened.

It was entirely unexpected when Tenel Ka came to Naboo with Hanamé while they were on their way to Rey’s Jedi School to take kids to find their kyber crystals. His parents were gone to the capital to visit Jyn and Robal as they tended to do. Hanamé left the Solo household for a few hours to meditate alone leaving the princess and pilot alone. It was Tenel Ka’s suggestion that they try the merenzane gold that was in the house. It was Tenel Ka who got too cold and wanted to share body warmth by the living room’s fireplace with him. It was Tenel Ka who laid her head on his shoulder. It was Tenel Ka who’s hand went on his. It was Tenel Ka who started opening up to him about her fears, goals and life. It was Tenel Ka who turned to him and told him she did not mind his company. It was Tenel Ka who closed her eyes and leaned in. It was Tenel Ka who kissed him. He was not the one who invited her to his home or suggested the alcohol or asked to share body warmth or asked her to share everything with or made any move to kiss her. It was all Tenel Ka. He just went along with it. But it was him who kept kissing her and in his passion pushed her flat on her back so he could feel the entirety of his body against the entirety of hers. He wanted to go further than the kiss but Hanamé’s noising return ended that. The two separated and never spoke of it again. It has been months and now she is acting like she hates him again as if the incident was his fault.

“I…I was drunk. You were drunk,” She tries to excuse her behavior. He knows he was not drunk and she also was not. She barely had a sip of the alcohol.

“Oh…well, are you drunk now?” He asks.

“Of course not,” She snorts at the suggestion that she would be drunk in the middle of the day.

“I’m not drunk either,” Anakin says.

“Good for you,” she does not see where this statement is going. Anakin’s hands go to the counter making it impossible for the princess to move anywhere. If she really wanted to move him away from her, they both know she could use the force to do so. She is a Jedi after all.

“Tenel Ka.”

“What?” She responds sharply.

“Are you acting like this because I didn’t call?”

Her ears are now red as is her neck. He knows he has found the source of the issue.

“Why would I care if you called or not? It’s not like it meant anything,” She turns her eyes from him.

“It did though. It meant something to me,” Anakin’s admittance makes her eyes come back.

“It did?” her voice trembles.

“Yes,” Anakin whispers and brings his lips just a centimeter from hers. She waits for him to close the gap. Her lips tingle in anticipation but he keeps his place. Finally, she closes the space between them allowing their lips to meet. His hands leave the counter to wrap around her. Her hands fly up to hold his face so he cannot pull it away.

“There you are Master Anakin! Your sister has arrived!” C-3P0 enters and does not process that he is interrupting an intimate moment. Anakin and Tenel Ka let go of each other. Anakin turns to the golden droid.

“Great. Thanks, C-3P0,” Anakin does not want to lash out at the droid.

“You are welcome, sir,” C-3P0 replied cheerfully. Anakin turns back to talk to Tenel Ka but she has snuck away to join the rest of the party. Anakin sighs but regains a pleased face. He did just get the one birthday gift he wanted this year.

Anakin walks into the room and sees his twin surrounded by the many guests. She is radiant as always. How could she not be when she mostly takes after her mother. Her hair is braided into a single braided down her back. She wears a purple, off the shoulder dress with bell sleeves. Her dress clings to her body. Unlike most of the other women, her dress stops at her knees instead of going all the way to her ankles. Around her waist is a belt that holds her lightsaber. Around her neck is a silver lariat necklace with a tiny Rebel star bird dangling at the end. A simple silver ring is on her left ring finger. On her feet are sensible but stylish black boots. She greets everyone with hugs

“Han!” Anakin waves to his sister who is receiving her hug from Uncle Chewie.

“Ani!” She goes straight for her brother. They hug.

“Happy birthday,” they say simultaneously and laugh at the same timed phrase.

“So where is my present?” Anakin holds out his hand to his sister.

“Have you not seen her yet?” Hanamé starts looking around the room.

“Her?” Anakin’s brow furrows.

“Yeah. I invited Tenel Ka to come to the party as a gift to you,” Hanamé replies.

“Grandma invited her.”

“Yeah, but she wasn’t going to come till I made her,” Hanamé expounds on the situation.

“But how is that a gift to me, Han? She’s _your_ best friend.”

“Ani, I know what happened between the two of you the last time she came to Naboo. My gift is the gift of opportunity for reconciliation and explanation,” Hanamé pats her brother’s shoulder. He presses his lips together and chin wiggles. He guesses this gift is acceptable as it already has led to the best gift. But he cannot act like he is too pleased.

“Okay, I guess I can accept your gift.”

“Good. Now, where is my gift?” She grins and puts out her hand to her brother. He smirks.

“My gift is not telling anyone about your growing secret yet,” Anakin nods to her abdomen. She puts her hand down. Like her brother her lips come together as her chin wobbles. He has got her there.

“Okay, but once I tell everyone, I expect a really big gift,” Hanamé decides. Anakin nods in agreement to these terms. Then he notices a certain someone missing from the party.

“So where is your old man?” Anakin starts looking around. Hanamé gives her brother a punch to the stomach. He winces at the pain but is glad she did not give him one of her real punches.

“I was just joking, Han,” Anakin rubs his stomach.

“You need to get some better material then,” Hanamé retorts.

“Ah! There he is,” Anakin smiles seeing the one he has been searching for the past minute.

“Honey!” Hanamé calls and waves. As Hanamé’s honey tries to weave through the crowd, he is constantly stopped to speak. Hanamé and Anakin are patient for the man to finally arrive.

“Sorry, it took me some time, honey,” the man comes to Hanamé’s side.

To most, the couple would be seen as a very odd pair for many reasons. The first being their height differences. Thought Hanamé inherited much from you, it was Ben’s height she grew to just like Anakin. Her partner is her lesser by six inches. The other major factor in the strangeness of her coupling is their age. In fact, this is what most people cannot get beyond. Height is one thing but age is another.

“Hey, Poe,” Anakin greets the shorter man.

As much as you disliked it when your daughter came to you to confide in you thar she had fallen in love with Poe Dameron, no one hated the relationship more than Ben. For three days and three nights all you heard Ben do was threaten and plot against “Poe Fucking Dameron” for grooming and corrupting “his” daughter. But in truth, the relationship was far from pedophilic. You knew this as did Ben deep down.

After you were resurrected and the Republic was restored, Poe did not come around much. Naboo was very much out of his way. He had transitioned from a Resistance pilot to being the senator for his home world of Yavin 4. He was always busy with political issues. He only ever saw the twins when they came to visit Leia at the Senate. Even then, Poe avoided Hanamé. He only wanted to spend time with you and Anakin. It was not that he did not try to be friendly to Hanamé but the girl had adopted her father’s dislike of him. Btu what else could be expected from the daddy’s girl.

By the time Poe left his senate position to return to teaching and leading the Republic’s pilots across the galaxy, Hanamé had elected to go study at Rey’s Jedi school. So, when Poe visited the Solos on Naboo, he never even interacted with the girl. It was like this for years. He got to become an Uncle figure to Anakin but nothing to Hanamé. In fact, it was not till Hanamé left Rey’s school at eighteen to start doing missions to fight against the Sith that had survived Exegol that the two met again.

Hanamé and Anakin teamed up with Poe and few other experienced fighters to go after Darth Vanis who had abducted the Senate Chancellor at the time. On this mission, the two saw each other for the first time as something new. Poe no longer saw Hanamé as the bratty little biter who only made his skin crawl. Instead, she was a powerful, intelligent woman who put the lives of others before her own including his. She literally saved his life three times on the mission and used the force to heal his broken nose. Even though she did grow to look like you which could have triggered some old feelings, he found that her smile is her favorite feature. Although your smile was breathtaking, it is nothing compared to hers. From there he was able to find her own distinctive physical traits that made her entirely unique.

For Hanamé, the mission led her to seeing Poe differently as well. As a child she could sense her father’s dislike of the man and so she felt that he must be bad if her father disliked him. As she got older she heard of his heroics from everyone including you and her brother. Ben even admitted to Poe’s goodness on an occasion or two. Still, Hanamé projected that he was some sort of arrogant flyboy who is obsessed with the past. Then she met in person. He was had his moments of arrogance but he never belittled anyone and he did not bring up the past. In fact, he shut down talk of his past when it had nothing to do with the task at hand. He was much older than her but he did not look very old. His once charcoal had turned to mostly gray and there were some deep lines by his eyes from his decades of smiling. But he was still handsome and kept in good shape. He was kind and had a bond with Anakin that was a mix of friendship and mentorship. He spoke fondly of you and resisted saying anything negative about her father. He proved to be wise, kind and caring. He also was not as mighty as all said. She had saved three times and healed him! He was just like any other man. It made him more human to her. He was just a man and he treated her like she was a woman. She did not mean to mean to develop feelings for him. But every time she started to look in his eyes with the burst stars in them, she knew in her soul that she did not want anyone else.

It was not until Hanamé was nineteen that she kissed him. This prompted Poe to question to run away for a week to figure out his feelings while she went to you and Ben. It was after the days of fuming and raving that Poe came to Naboo. Ben nearly killed the man when he came out of his ship. You and Hanamé both had to intervene. After a civil, sit down conversation with the family, Poe and Hanamé came to terms that they loved each other. You accepted it as did Anakin. Ben…he is still working on his acceptance. But when Poe asked permission to ask Hanamé to marry him seven months ago, Ben gave it. It was awkward for both men for several reasons including the fact that Poe is actually older than Ben... But Poe married Hanamé a week later and Ben gave her away.

As you know the truth of their relationship you have accepted the age gap even if you are not sure you will ever get used to it. Hanamé is happy and loved. That is all you really wanted for her. It is what you want for Anakin too.

“Happy Birthday, Ani,” Poe wishes his brother-in-law.

“Thanks. Did _you_ bring me a tangible present?” Anakin asks hoping the answer will be ‘yes’.

“I did,” Poe reaches into his inner jacket pocket. He pulls out a knife. The blade shines brilliantly.

“This is Mandalorian steel!” Anakin observes the metal used.

“You said you interested in that so when I saw it, I got it. Be careful with that now,” Poe warns.

“I will. Thank you,” Anakin grins. He puts it into his own inner jacket pocket. He is careful not nick himself or the chain around his neck than holds his dantari kyber crystal.

“What did Poe get you for your birthday?” Anakin asks out of habit. Hanamé blushes and Poe looks away as if he saw a fly or something passing. Anakin cringes as he knows now it is something he does not want to know about.

The crowd becomes silent then all at once the infamous birthday song erupts. The twins turn and see you and Leia carrying the large cake she bought for the occasion. Everyone follows the former Chancellor. Poe joins in on the singing and steps back so the focus can just be on his wife and Anakin. The song ends. The twins come together and blow out all of the candles on the cake earning a cheer from the onlookers.

You and Leia set down the cake on a table. C-3P0 offers to cut and distribute the cake to everyone. R2 D2 and Bb-8 roll around with trays full of drinks on their heads. All are careful as they remove them as they do not want to spill it on the droids.

As the party progresses, gifts are opened, cake is eaten, drinks are downed, songs are sung, stories are told and all is well. Though you are having fun celebrating your children’s birth, you step out on to a more secluded balcony for some fresh air. You look out to the city and the sky beyond it. The sky has turned from solely being blue to being a dark blue that fades into shades of purple, pink and bursts of orange and yellow around the sun that is trying to set past the sparkling city.

“Damn.” You hear someone curse behind you. You turn and see Ben there leaning against the door frame. He has removed his jacket, unbutton the top parts of his white shirt and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes are on you and you alone.

“What?”

“How do you do it?” He asks.

“Do what?”

Ben leaves the door frame and approaches you. His hand goes to your face, he lets his thumb caress your bottom lip before it joins the rest of his hand on your cheek.

“Make me want you without trying,” He answers. You giggle.

“If I knew I would tell you, just as I am sure you would tell me how you do the same to me,” Your hand goes to his cheek. He smiles.

“I can’t believe it has been over twenty years since you seduced me,” He murmurs.

“ _I_ seduced _you_?” You guffaw at his statement and lower you hand from his face.

“Don’t you remember? You were the one who started groping me in the hallway,” he brings up the mortifying and terrifying moment from your past.

“That was an accident and you absolutely were not into it,” You recall.

“Well, then you purposefully messed up your uniform so I would punish you,” he brings up the second interaction.

“That was not on purpose and I did not want you to punish me then,” You can remember clearly your terror.

“Yet you stripped down for me and made yourself more than available.”

“You ordered me too! I could not disobey my commander!” You defend your actions. He grins at the memory.

“Fine. You were not trying to seduce me at _those_ points,” he concedes, “but even in those moments it felt like I had to have you. I am glad I gave in to the urges.”

You smile.

“I’m glad I had Kade Genti obsession,” You bring up the comic books. Ben rolls his eyes at the mention of the series. You chuckle at his reaction.

“Come on. You have to have come around to like it by now,” You grip his shirt. He shakes his head.

“No. I know what I like and what I do not.”

You nod understanding.

“I also know what I love.”

“Oh? And what do you love, Ben Solo?” You raise an eyebrow and look at him coyly.

“Well, I love my mother. I love my children. I love my family and friends. I love my ship. I love my home,” he lists the things you love as well but you notice they do not really involve you.

“Is that all?”

“I think so.”

“Ah!” You smack his chest and start to leave his arms. He captures you and bring your back to his chest the vibrates with his laughter.

“I love teasing you,” he whispers in your ear.

You shiver feelings his hot breath.

“I love waking up every morning next to you and going to bed each night with you. I love every part of your body,” His hands start to grope your chest and your lower area as he kisses your neck.

You relax in his hold. You could just melt. He turns you around so he can look you in the eyes.

“I love what a good mother you are. I love what a good friend you are. I love your strength. I love your depth. I love your kindness. I love your patience. I love your temper. I love your rage. I love your passion. I love your wisdom. I love that I am yours and that I get call you mine,” He serious expression and tender eyes make his words hit harder. He exhales your name. He kisses you softly then whispers.

“I love you.”

This moment feels like you are standing in a timeless dream. Though you have heard him tell you these words repeatedly over the past two decades, it never gets old. It never loses its power. He loves you. You love him. It will be this way forever and always not matter the state of the galaxy. No war whether between Sith and Jedi, Republic and Tyranny, or just between your different viewpoints will ever be able to end this love. Not even death could. The force and love are with you. They, like Ben, will be with you for the rest of your life here and in the world beyond.

# The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, like with all other chapters feel free to let me know your thoughts on this chapter, story, or whatever. Also if you have any questions please ask. I'll do my best to answer. You guys are amazing. Thank you for going on this journey.  
> ❤ May the Force be with you! ❤


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